interplay, 13th edition chapter 03

CHAPTER 3Interpersonal Communication and the Self

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Section 1 COMMUNICATION AND THE SELF-CONCEPT

Interplay

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Communication and the Self-Concept

Self-concept = relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself

Self-esteem = part of the self-concept that involves evaluations of self-worth High or low self-

esteem affects communication behavior Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor

Copyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

How the Self-Concept Develops

Reflected appraisal = A mirroring of the judgments of those around you

“Significant others” = People whose evaluations are especially influential Our self-concept is

partly formed through reflected appraisal

Benefits Pitfalls

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How the Self-Concept Develops

Social comparison = Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others

Reference groups = People against whom we evaluate (compare) our own characteristics Peers Family members Social Groups

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Characteristics of the Self-Concept

The self-concept is subjective We inflate and/or

underestimate our self-perception

Causes: obsolete

information distorted

feedback the myth of

perfection social

expectationsInterplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor

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Characteristics of the Self-Concept

A healthy self-concept is flexible, but… The self-concept resists

change Cognitive

conservatism = Seeking information that conforms to an existing self-concept

Interplay, 12th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2012 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Changing Our Self-Concept Four requirements to

change: Trusting an appraisal by

someone we see as competent to offer it

Appraisal must be perceived as highly personal

Appraisal must be reasonable in light of what we believe about ourselves

Appraisal must be consistent and numerous

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication

Self-fulfilling prophecy = When a person’s expectations of an event and his or her subsequent behavior based on those expectations make the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been the case.

Four stages: Holding an expectation (for yourself or for others).

You believe: “I’m too dumb to pass this class.” Behaving in accordance with that expectation

You tell yourself: “Why study? I’m just going to fail…” The expectation coming to pass

The result: You fail the class. Reinforcing the original expectation

You tell yourself: “I knew it. I’m too dumb. I should drop out of school.”

Types of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Self-imposed prophecies: Your own expectations

influence your behavior When one person’s

expectations govern another’s actions, whether positive or negative Observer must

communicate their belief for the prediction to have an effect

Belief can be communicated in many different ways

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Section 2PRESENTING THE SELF

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Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Identity Management

Identity Management = The communication strategies people use to influence how others view them

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Public and Private Selves Perceived self = The

person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-reflection

Presenting self = Public image—the way we want to appear to others “Facework” =

Verbal and nonverbal ways we act in order to maintain our presenting image and the image of others Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor

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Characteristics of Identity Management

We strive to construct multiple identities. We design identities

to fulfill our different “roles” (parent, child, student, employee, etc.)

Identity management is collaborative. We improvise scenes

where our character reacts with others.

We all collaborate in this “theater of life”

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Characteristics of Identity Management

Identity management can be deliberate or unconscious. Deliberate Examples:

Work = “conscientious” employee

School = “studious” student Parent = “good” child Peers = “popular” peer Significant other =

“considerate” partner We unconsciously act in small

public performances by making a particular facial expression or using a particular tone of voice.

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Face-to-Face Impression Management

In our Manner… Words Nonverbal actions

In our Appearance… How we dress How we “look” We use personal items to help shape an image

Our Setting… We use physical items to influence how others view us

Decorating our “spaces” Home Workplace Vehicles Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor

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Impression Management in Social Media

The Internet offers an opportunity for people to present themselves in a variety of ways.

In mediated identity management, manner, appearance, and setting can change The “Catfish”

Phenomenon How do these changes

make it easier or more difficult to manage identity?

Here’s a video depicting online deception.

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Identity Management and Honesty

Deception in cyberspace is common.

People sometimes misrepresent themselves to gain the trust of others.

There is not only one honest way to behave in every circumstance.

Impression management involves deciding which face—which part of yourself—to reveal.

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Section 3DISCLOSING THE SELF

Interplay

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Disclosing the Self Self-disclosure =

Information about the self that is purposefully communicated to another person

Distinguishing factors of self-disclosure: Honesty Depth Availability of information Context of sharing

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Models of Self-Disclosure Degrees of Self-Disclosure: The Social Penetration Model

(Altman and Taylor) Two dimensions:

Breadth of information shared Depth of information shared

Development of a relationship is a progression from the periphery of the model to its center (sometimes, it is like a spiral)

Types of information revealed: Clichés—ritualized, stock responses Facts Opinions Feelings

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Models of Self-Disclosure

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Models of Self-Disclosure

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Benefits of/Reasons for Self-Disclosure

Benefits/Reasons: Catharsis (release) Self-clarification Self-validation Reciprocity Impression formation Relationship

maintenance and enhancement

Moral obligation

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Risks of Self-Disclosure Risks:

Rejection Negative impression Decrease in relational

satisfaction Loss of influence Loss of control Hurt the other person

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Guidelines for Self Disclosure

Before you self-disclose, ask yourself:

Is the other person important to me?

Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?

Is the self-disclosure appropriate? Is the disclosure reciprocated? Will the effect be constructive?

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure

Silence Lying

Benevolent lies—not malicious

Equivocation Equivocal language

= Two or more plausible meanings

Hinting We hint to get

desired response from other person

The Ethics of Evasion Evasion provides a way to

manage difficult situations, but…

There are times when honesty is the right approach, even when it’s painful

Before you lie or evade, ask yourself: Are the effects of a lie worth it in

the long term? Is the indirect message in the

interest of the receiver? Is evasion the only way to behave? How would others respond if they

knew what you were really thinking/feeling?

Interplay, 13th Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/ProctorCopyright © 2015 by Oxford University Press, Inc.