keep it professional, managing friends and relatives at work place

Keep it Professional

Managing Relations- friends and relatives-

when you work with people you’re close to

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Manage Friends and Family Members

In this session, I would like to look at how tricky it can be to manage friends and family members, and how

you can overcome these difficulties

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Leading a Team of Equals

And find out, how to get things done when you lead a team of equals

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So this session is about..

Managing Friends and Family Members Balancing Personal Relationships at Work

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Let me begin it as a story

Elizabeth works in the family business with her older brother, Dave

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Elizabeth and Dave

The problem is that, due to a change in the structure of the company, Elizabeth is now Dave's boss, and he

doesn't respond well to her authority.

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For Example

Dave often turns up late, he brings up past family conflicts, and he expects special treatment.

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Dave being her brother

Elizabeth would have disciplined - or even fired - anyone else over these issues. But, because he's her

brother, she's reluctant to take action, even though she knows that the rest of the team resent Dave's behavior

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Friends and Family Members at work place

It can be difficult to work alongside close friends and relatives. We'll see the challenges that can occur when

you manage friends and family members, and we'll look at how you can deal with them more effectively

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Common Issues

A number of issues can affect your ability to work successfully with friends and family.

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Being rational, fair and objective

Unlike the relationships you have with other team members, the bonds you share with these people are intensely personal. Childhood history, past conflicts, or current issues in your personal life can affect your interactions at work. This can make it difficult to be

rational, fair, and objective, as can the desire to preserve good friendships and family relationships

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Familiarity breeds

You might be tempted to change your management style and provide either too much guidance, or

insufficient feedback on poor performance. Familiarity with these people can also cause you to discount their ideas quickly, or to be more critical of them than you

would be with other team membersbabuappat@gmail.com

Favouritism blocking career growth

On the other hand, favouritism is a risk with friends and family: it can cause conflict and low morale in the

rest of your team, and it can harm your reputation, especially if you hand out choice assignments to these people. You may also find that exceptional employees leave your team, because they think that their career

progression is blocked

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While discussing it with outsiders

You can also alienate and annoy your team members if you make decisions or discuss work issues with

friends or family members outside of work (whether this is intentional or not)

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Family business

If you work in a family business, some relatives might have been "expected" to work in the company. It can be a challenge to motivate and manage them, especially if they aren't passionate about the work, or if they have

different goals and values from those of the organization

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Strategies for Managing Friends and Family

Use the strategies below to keep the relationship professional when you manage friends and family

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Think Carefully Before You Hire

Before you hire friends or family members, think carefully about why you're considering them for the

role. Do they have the knowledge, skills, and talent to work

well in this position, or are you just doing them a favor?

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Hire the Best always

Never hire someone you know unless you feel confident that they're the best candidate, that they embrace the culture and values of the business, and

that they can bring valuable skills and expertise to the team.

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Use standardised recruitment tools

If you feel unsure, use recruitment tools such as competency-based interviewing, inbox/in-tray

assessments, or test assignments to gauge how these people will perform on the job

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No misfits fitted in

Careful consideration at this early stage helps you avoid conflict in the relationship later, and you can

ensure that these people are a good fit in your team

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Remove Yourself technique

Unless this is a family business, it's best to remove yourself - and any other friends and family - from the decision-making process when you think about hiring

someone that you know well.

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The onus

That way, you will avoid accusations of nepotism, and you won't look unprofessional if the recruitment turns

out badly. (Even in a family business, it may be best for trusted non-family people to advise on the

decision.)

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Define the role

No matter how close you are to your friends and family members, you need to treat them like any

other team member. This means that you must define their role, and

communicate what you expect from them

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Job description and Performance objectives

Write a job description that outlines their responsibilities, your expectations, and their

performance objectives

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SMART goals

Next, review the agreement with them, and identify and agree on short- and long-term SMART goals. Make sure that they understand these goals and

expectations, and ask whether they have any questions or concerns.

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Honest communication

This prevents ambiguity, and sets the tone for the relationship. Clear, honest communication like this

also helps you avoid issues later on

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Set Boundaries

Your friends and family members know you better than anyone else at work, and they are privy to

personal information that you might not want your team members to know. This is why it's important to

set and manage boundaries

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Open Conversation

Have an open, honest conversation about how you want your professional relationship to be. This means

that you must set protocols for behavior and communication

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Office manners

For example, if you work with your friend, ask her not to call you by your nickname. She should use your first

name, just like the rest of your team

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Official matters/ Personal matters

Both of you should agree to leave personal matters and history at the door when you come to work. You should also agree not to discuss work issues outside

the office - this ensures that you don't cut other team members out of important decisions

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Keep things professional

Of course, this is easier said than done, especially with family members. Speak up if you feel that your

friends or family members have violated the boundaries that you've set, and remind them to keep

things professional.

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After-effects

When you let small matters slide, it can cause resentment later on

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All equal

If you experience conflict with friends and family members, do your best to manage your emotions and

stay professional. Try to ignore your personal relationships, and approach them like any other team member

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Compensate Fairly

It's important that you compensate your friends and family members fairly. Their salary and benefits

should reflect their knowledge, skills, and experience, not their connection with you

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Manage Friends and Family Members

When you set salary and benefits, it's a good idea to consult a colleague or HR professional to make sure that compensation is fair and competitive. This will also ease

tensions, and prevent any suspicions that friends or family members are getting more than they deserve

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Never Overcompensate

Also, be careful not to overcompensate them with resources such as people, equipment, technology, or

training. Make sure that your friends and family members receive the same as everyone else, and

nothing more

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Provide Regular Feedback

Like everyone on your team, your friends and family members need regular, constructive feedback, so that they understand what they're doing well, and where

they need to improve

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Balancing Emotions

You might find it difficult to be objective with these people. Do your best to keep emotions out of the

discussion, and analyze their performance and growth as you would anyone else. Use the proper Feedback

tools to provide clear and specific feedback.

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Face Facts

Of course, positive feedback is always easy to give. But how do you handle friends or family members

who aren't pulling their weight? And how do you fire someone that you care about? These can be

uncomfortable situations, but you need to address them promptly and professionally

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Dealing with non-productive aspects

Sit down and talk to them one-on-one. Diagnose the problems they face. Talk to them in a cordial manner

to bring out the solutions they can adjust with naturally

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Reach outRender help

Ask what you can do to help them perform better and meet their goals. They might benefit from additional training; and they may also flourish in a mentoring or

coaching relationship with another professional

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In line with organisational

policiesGive them as much time to improve as you would to

anyone else on your team. If you don't notice any progress, manage them appropriately in line with

your organisation's guidelines.

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Productive relationships

It can be painful to let go of friends and family members, but if the relationship isn't working out, then you should find someone who is a better fit

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Be Honest With Your Team

Everyone on your team should know if you have a personal connection with someone who works for you

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Be clear

Be open and honest about your ties to these people. It's likely that some team members might have

reservations about the situation and about your ability to treat your friends or family members

objectively.

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Genuine interest in

people

Your actions need to prove that you will treat them just like everyone else - this will build trust and help

everyone adjust to the situation

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Craft a Role That Works

If you work in a family business, you might have to manage some family members who don't want to be there. They might have been pressured to work in the organisation by parents or other leaders, they might

see it as an easy option, or they might work there out of a sense of obligation.

None of these is a positive reason to come to work each day

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Manage Friends and Family Members

As with any employee with motivational issues, re-engage them by finding out their career goals. What

do they want to achieve in life? How can you help them build the skills and expertise they need to meet

their goals?

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Mentoring, Training

Look at training and mentoring opportunities that will help them progress down this path, while still using

these new skills in their current role

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Happytasks

Next, look at their tasks and responsibilities. Which tasks make them happy? When do they achieve a

sense of flow in their work?

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Job-crafting

Where appropriate, use job-crafting strategies to work more of these tasks into their day (but ensure that

you don't do this at the expense of other team members)

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Sense of accomplishment

Last, make sure that your friends and family members feel a sense of accomplishment in their role. Help

them find the deeper meaning in their work, and help them achieve small wins, so that they can recognise

the progress they make

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Make them move on

However, if these strategies don't work, you'll probably want to encourage them to move on - you

don't want unmotivated people on your team

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Key Points

It can be a challenge to manage friends and family members. These people have a close, personal

relationship with you, and their presence within a team can cause conflict, tension, and mistrust if you

don't manage the relationship with care

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Performance agreement

When you manage friends or family members, treat them as you would everyone else on your team. Write a performance agreement that outlines their role and

your expectations clearly.

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Working relationship

Set boundaries, and define how your working relationship should be; this includes protocols for

behavior

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Ensure objectivity

Also, compensate them fairly. Where appropriate, work with a colleague to ensure objectivity when you

set their pay and benefits

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A Final Note

Personal history doesn't have to stand in the way of a strong professional relationship. Likewise, a "junior"

position in a family doesn't mean that you can't be an effective leader

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Candid relations

Set clear boundaries and expectations, offer support,

and, above all, be honest about difficulties that are holding people back

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THANK YOU

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THANK YOU