managing holiday stress in a foster home...managing holiday stress in a foster home • don’t...

Foster Family MattersManaging Holiday Stress in a Foster Home

•Don’t assume that the child celebrates the sameholidaysthatyoudo.Ask.

•Find out what traditions the child had in his orher home and incorporate one or two into yourcelebration(withtheirpermission).

•Start a new tradition and explain how they are apartofit.

•Sharestoriesofpreviousholidaycelebrations.

•Documentthecelebrationwithpicturesandcreateascrapbookorincludepicturesinthechild’sLifebookthatthechildcantakewiththemwhentheyleavethefosterhome.

•Besupportiveofbirthfamilyvisitsovertheholidayorincludetheminyourownholidaycelebrationsifappropriate.

It is also important to be mindful of how hecticschedulesandchangestoroutinecanleadtoincreasedstressforfamiliesandchildren.Bypreparingchildreninadvanceforwhattoexpectwithchangesinroutineandkeepingtheroutineasclosetousualaspossible,this canbeminimized. Limitingyourownschedulecanalsoreducethechaosinthehomeandleaveyoumoreavailabletoattendtotheincreasedneedsofthechildreninyourcareduringthistime.

Itcanalsobeagoodideatoscheduleanextratherapysession or two during the time surrounding theholidaystobepreparedfordifficultfeelingsthatcanemergeregardinglossandgriefduringtheseason.

As always, be sure to take care of yourself – payattentiontoyourownneedsandfeelingsduringtheholidayseason.Engageinactivitiesthatyouandyourfamilyenjoyandfindrelaxing.Takingcareofyourselfhelpskeepyourmindandbodyhealthyandpreparedtodealwithstressfulsituations.

Submitted by Anne Reicheneker, LMSW- Northeast Region Foster Care Director- Kansas

Between Families

Theholidayseasoncanbeatimefilledwithparties,presents and happy familymemories. For childrenin foster care, however, the holidays can also be adifficult reminder of the grief and loss they haveexperiencedbybeingremovedfromtheirbirthfamily.Childrenandyouthinfostercaremayoftenfeelleftout of a foster family’s traditions and celebrationsdespite the family’sbest efforts tomake them feelincluded. Itcanalsobeapainful reminderofwhattheyaremissingbynotcelebratingwiththeirbirthfamily. These family get-togethers can also lead tothechildworryingorfeelingsadforwhattheirbirthmomand/ordadmightbemissingbynotbeingwiththemduringtheholidays.

Itisimportantforfosterfamiliestoprepareforandbe aware of things they cando tohelp children infostercarenavigatethroughtheholidayseason.Thefollowing recommendations were taken from “TheFosterParentingToolbox”2012:

TFI Services Family

Devoted to the Strength

of Family

IN THIS ISSUE:Foster Family MattersRecruitment Moment

Care Provider of the MonthFoster to Adopt Story

Foster Family Living

Inserts:Training Article

New ServicesNovember

2013

Foster Family Anniversaries

Care Provider of the MonthJeffrey Cammarata and Courtnie Scott-Cammarata

We’dliketotakethismonth’sRecruitmentMomentspace,nottoaskyouforanything,but to instead recognize some amazingfosterfamilieswhocametogetheronarecentweekendtohelptheirfostercareworker(andeachother)raiseawarenessabouttheneedforfosterfamiliesinWesternKansas.FosterparentsPeggyCrawford,DanRichters,andDoloresGonzalezaccompaniedtheirFosterCareWorker,SharonBurnett,onamissiontodistribute fliersandshare their storieswhileacoupleofotherfamiliesandfriends(Danica Hellner and Michelle Solarzano)providedchildcaretothefamilies’combined14children.ThefamiliesobtainedT-shirtsthatdeclaredtheywere“ProudtobeaTFIFosterParent!”anddedicatedtheirdaytosupporting each other and helping raiseawareness.We,atTFI,wouldliketoexpressourmostsinceregratitudetothesefamiliesfortheircommitmenttofindingresourcesforchildreninneed.Thankyou!

Submitted by Tabitha Rosebrough-Reavis, LMSW, Director

of Kansas Recruitment Services

Recruitment Moment

A Sincere Thank You

JeffreyCammarataandCourtnieScott-CammaratahavebeenchosenastheCareProvideroftheMonth.Theyhavebeenfosteringforlessthanayearbuthaveproventhemselvestobeanexcellentresourceforchildreninneed.JeffreyandCourtnietookintwosiblingsfromasiblingsetofsixshortlyafterreceivingtheirlicense,anditwasn’tlongbeforetheymovedintoalargerhomeandincreasedtheirlicensetofour.Withinacoupleofmonths,JeffreyandCourtnietookintwoadditionalsiblingsoftheircurrentplacement.Theyfacedmanychallengesingrowingfromafamilyoffourtoafamilyofsixbuthaveadaptedremarkablywell,andthechildrenhavebenefitedasaresult.

OneofthethingsthatIappreciatemostaboutJeffreyandCourtnieisthattheytrulyloveandcareabouttheyouthintheirhome.Theyhaveproventobegreatadvocatesandworkhardtoensurethatallneedsareknownandmet.JeffreyandCourtnieconsistentlygoaboveandbeyond,notonlyforthefourchildrenintheirhome,butforthechildren’stheirothertwosiblingsaswell.

JeffreyandCourtniepartnerwellwithagencies,assistwithtransportation,partnerwiththebiologicalfamilyandhavetheyouthinvolvedincommunityactivities.TheyareatrueassetandI’msothankfulthatIgettoworkwiththem.

Submitted by Erin Ward, LMSW, Foster Care Worker

One Year

Christopher and Deanna Myers

Dixie Secrest

Buddy and Elizabeth Willis

Jacob Bollhoefner and Carissa Shaffer

Terry and Rachel Forsberg

Henri Jean Howie

Penina Ruto

John and Dixie Covington

Donna Njuki

James and Bonnie Stolen

Michael and Deana Zigler

Todd and Hayley Ramsey

Naninga (Ryan) Karunaratne and Chantal Gunawardhana

Ernest Voigtlander and Vandy Hamrick

Dana Badders

Dan and Shannon Woods

Tina Hannah

Brandon and Jovoli Clark

Robert and Ali Cecchini

Derek and Theresa Gay

Aaron and Freda Felton

Peggy Crawford

Three Years

Brent and Melissa Hutton

Jonathan and Darla Wright

Sabrina Preeo

Annette Sykes

Fredrick and Marcia John

Larry and Cathryn Wenthe

Charles and Mary Carter

Ryan and Mary Sevart

Mark and Kelli Sutton

Five Years

Joshua and Kristi Hecker

Brian and Amanda Dreasher

Barbra Ricke

Robin Smith

Tracee Jackson

Charles and Emily Sharp

Ten Years

Travis and Angela Arnold

Amanda Keller

Adam and Ashley Ferguson

David and Ronda Cisney

Lynne Snodgrass

Dale and Dawn Dolezal

Brad and Jennifer Stallbaumer

Welcome Foster Families

National Adoption MonthOne Family’s Foster to Adopt Story

After hour emergencies, please call 1-877-921-4114.

ForthemostcurrentcalendarforKansasChildrenAllianceTraining,goto:www.childally.org/train/foster-training/

Visitwww.tfifamilyservices.orgformorehelpfulinformation.

Like us on Facebook, facebook.com/tfifamilyservices,andfollowusonTwitter@TFIFamilyfortips,supportgroupreminders,andmore!

BetweenFamiliesispublishedbyTFIFamilyServices,Inc.,aprivate,not-for-profit501(c)(3)organizationwhosemissionisDevoted to the Strength of Family.TFIislicensedasachildplacingagencyinKansas,Missouri,NebraskaandOklahoma.

November is National AdoptionMonthandTFIFamilyServiceshasmany wonderful foster familieswhohavealsoadopted.We’d liketo take a moment to share thestoryofoneofthemwithyou.

Michael and Cyndi Antoni firstlicensed with TFI in September,2003.Theyfosteredforacoupleof years and then, in 2005 theyadded two sisters, Jasmynand Caitlyn, to their familypermanently through adoption.A few years later, in July, 2008,theyadoptedathirdchildnamedDylan. Michael and Cyndi, withthree adopted children and onebiological daughter named Jeci,choseatthattimetodiscontinuefosteringandfocusonthefamilythey believed to be complete.However, in March 2013, theyrelicensed with TFI as a fosterfamily for a child with whomMichael had worked one-on-oneproviding supportive mentalhealth services. The child had ahistoryofstrugglingtomaintainsteady placement in foster care,but Michael and Cyndi chose toaddhimtotheirfamilyinMarch,

2013, and they are now in theprocessofadoptinghim.

Whenaskedabouttheirexperiencewith adoption, the Antoni’s said,“Adoptionhas impactedour livesinmorewaysthanwecouldhaveeverimagined.Allofourchildren,regardlessofwhosebellytheywerecarriedin,knowtheirbirthstories.We embrace our differences andincorporateeachperson’sstrengthsto unify our family. God has aplan for each of us and thoughour family has not grown in thetraditionalway,weareafamily.Welove each other whole-heartedlyandunconditionally.WethankTFIstaff for being there throughoutour journey. Their kindness andknowledgehasmadethisprocessmoremanageable.”

TFI thanks Michael and Cyndi,alongwithallofourotherfoster-to-adopt families formaking thislife-changingchoiceanddedicatingthemselvestoimprovingthelivesofchildreninmorewaysthanone.

Submitted by Kayla Schultz, LMSW, Foster Care Worker

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8595CollegeBlvd,Ste160OverlandPark,KS66210800-279-9914www.tfifamilyservices.org

Foster Family LivingWhodoesn’t loveplayingwithbubbles?They’recheaptobuy,easytomakeandtheydelightchildrenfromoneto92!Butdidyouknowthat playing with them can help children with a wide variety ofdevelopmentalskills,somethingwithwhichmanychildreninfostercaremayneedsomeassistance?

Besidesthefineandgrossmotorskillsrequiredtophysicallyhandlethewandandblow(thenpop!)bubbles,sensoryprocessingskills(thebody’s ability to take in information gained through sight, sound,hearing,touch,etc.andmakesenseofit)arealsodeveloped.Bubblesare gentle and can tickle the skin; they float randomly and theiriridescence causes them to change colors. They can be sticky andfeel funny.The simplephysical act ofblowing abubble alsohelpsachildpracticedeepbreathing,whichcanhelpthechildcalmdownandfocus.

Bubblescanalsobeafunwaytopracticesocialandcommunicationskillsandfollowingdirections!Youcangivedirectionsonhowtopopthebubbleswitheachturn(clapthem,pokethem,squeezethem,jumponthem)orhelpidentifybodyparts(popwithyourfinger,yourelbow,yourkneeoryournose).Childrencanpracticetakingturns,keepingpersonalspacebetweentheirbodiessotheydon’tbumpintoorknockeachotherover,andusingmannerswhenaskingfor“more,please”withoutevenrealizingtheyaretacklingdevelopmentaltasks.

Sharethebenefitsofthissimple,inexpensiveactivitywithyourwholefamily.Childrenloveitwhentheadultsintheirlivesknowhowtohavefun.Youmightevenbeabletoconvincethatsulkyteenagertojoininonthefunwiththeyoungerchildrenandturnabeneficialactivityintoahappymemory!

Submitted by Tabitha Rosebrough-Reavis, LMSW, Director of Kansas Recruitment Services