modern family spec- mister saigon

5/24/2018 Modern Family Spec- Mister Saigon

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Modern Family Spec"Mister Saigon"


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ACT ONE

EXT. PARK - PLAYGROUND - EARLY MORNING

Gloria is watching Joe play. Two twenty-something nannies are

talking about another woman in the park.

GIRLHow many face-lifts do you thinkshes had?

Gloria touches her face, worried.

GIRL (CONTD)Poor kid. By the time he graduateshigh school, shell probably be ina nursing home.

GLORIADo you talk about your mother withthat mouth? Im only thirty-nine!

Gloria grabs Joe and storms off. The girls look confused.

INTERVIEW GLORIA

GLORIA (CONTD)Im not thirty-nine. Jay and Mannydont know. I just told a littlefib when Manny was young, but helearned to count so quickly! Wetell the children in Colombia thatif they lie, they get stolen, so ofcourse I thought I should waituntil he was older to tell thetruth. Now Im the one whos older!

MAIN TITLES

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING

Claire, Alex, Haley, and Phil are in the kitchen getting

ready for the day.

HALEYIsnt senior skip day usually sometime this week?

ALEXWasnt every day your senior skipday?

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CLAIREWe were just happy she made it tosenior year.

HALEYSee, this is exactly why Im

starting yoga classes. Too muchnegative energy around here.

Mitchell rings the doorbell multiple times. He lets himselfin.

MITCHELLIs everyone going in slow motiontoday? First Im stuck behind somegrandma on the way here, then I hadto circle around to look forparking. Also, I think theressomething wrong with your doorbell.

I had to ring it like five times.

PHILSlow down, brother. No negativeenergy allowed. This is a chillzone.

Mitchell looks at him, confused.

PHIL (CONTD)Kidding! Im really proud of youtwo for trying something new. Yougot a one way ticket to meditationstation. Thats the real soultrain.

MITCHELLWhat? No. Im not doing yoga for

myself. Personally, I think its alittle silly, but I feel like Imthe only one at my office whodoesnt meditate. If those idiotscan find Zen, so can I.

CLAIRE

Competitive yoga. I could getbehind that.

HALEYI just need to sit, clear my mind,and focus on nothing.

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ALEXYou do realize theres a physicalaspect to yoga. Its not justsitting there.

Claire has been clapping at fruit flies the whole time.

CLAIREPhil, youve got to stop buying inbulk. We have a serious fruit flyproblem.

MITCHELLFruit Fly! Thats what we used tocall you in college when youdfollow me and my friends around tothe gay bars. Remember?

CLAIRE

That I dont recall. What I doremember is you crying in thebathroom after --

MITCHELLOk, were off!

Haley and Mitchell head out the door.

PHILWhile you guys are stretching yourbodies, Ill be here stretching thesavings!

CLAIRE AND PHIL INTERVIEW

PHIL (CONTD)Ive been having a slow couple of

months at work, so I startedholding seminars about real estateinvestment opportunities and Ivealso started Q-ponning!

CLAIREPhil thinks couponingis an

entirely new concept becausesomebody made an app. for it.

PHILDont DISCOUNT me! I know the DEAL.It just makes a lot of CENTS. Ifyou need to get in touch with the Q-pon master, just RING ME UP.

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CLAIREStop saying Q-pon!

PHILThats the name of the app.

Phil holds his phone up.

PHIL (CONTD)Q-ponning. Its not just forgrannies anymore.

INT. JAY AND GLORIAS HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING

Manny and Jay are in the kitchen when Gloria and Joe comeback from the park.

GLORIA

Dios mo otro canas! Soy msvieja cada minuto!

JAYA little help here?

MANNYJay, you know I dont speakSpanish, but angry mothertranslates universally. I think shesaid something about finding a greyhair. I believe thats yourdepartment, not mine.

Manny quickly puts a hat on to cover up a grey streak in hishair.

JAYLooks like were co-chairs of thatdepartment today. Whats all this?

MANNY(taking off the hat)

Luke and I are starting our serviceproject at Pleasant Meadows today.

I want the residents to know thatIm not just some immature kid, soI added a little hi-light.

JAYSomething tells me you would havebeen okay without it.

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GLORIAYou better never send me to a placelike that, Manny! Ill live withyou until I die, and then you canjust send me out to sea.

JAYGo out the same way you came in.Good plan.

MANNY AND JAY INTERVIEW

MANNYMy mom gets this way every year.For as much as she loves tocelebrate all our birthdays, shereally hates her own. Normally Idsay things to cheer her up, but

were planning a nice little

birthday soiree for her, and wewant it to be a surprise.

JAYSo your plan is to ignore her and

make her feel bad now so shes moreexcited about the surprise partylater?

MANNYIts not a surprise party. Its abirthday soiree. How does no oneget my vision?Plus, Im notignoring her.

GLORIA (O.S.)(knocking)

Where did everyone go? You didntfinish your breakfast!

MANNYI said not now, Mom!

INT. MITCHELL AND CAMERONS CONDO - KITCHEN - DAY

Cameron is wearing a rice paddy hat and is surrounded bygroceries and bags from the Asian market when Mitchell walksin.

MITCHELLAre we having Lilys entire birthfamily over for a dinner I didntknow about?

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CAMERONDont you bring your negativity inhere, Nancy.

MITCHELLWhy does everyone keep saying that?

Seriously, though. Whats all this?I thought we cancelled yourEpicurious subscription after yourepicuriosity killed the cat.

CAMERONWhen I dropped Lily off at schoolthis morning, I realized that ALLthe kids in her class are white.

MITCHELLGreat, so shes pretty much gotvaledictorian in the bag, then.

CAMERONNo, this is serious! I really thinkits important for us to help herexperience her Vietnamese heritage.

MITCHELLThe last time I saw you use chopsticks, you were trying to reach achocolate chip that rolled underthe microwave.

CAMERONI didnt want it to melt and make a

mess. And our childs identity isgoing to be a mess if we dont tryto give her the opportunity toembrace her Asianinity.

MITCHELLAnd your making up words will makeher less confused.

Cameron pulls out two gallon-jars of kimchi, and opens one.He fights back gagging.

CAMERONFine. I guess Lily and I will behaving dinner by ourselves tonight.

LILY (O.S.)If that smell has something to do

with dinner, you can cancel myreservation.

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MITCHELLYou know that kimchi is Korean,right?

CAMERONWell thats appropriate, because I

feel like Im living in adictatorship!

Cameron exits angrily.

INTERVIEW MITCHELL

MITCHELLCam is an all or nothing kind ofperson. He tends to go overboard

with most things -- like the timehe found out that he might possiblyhave a slight allergy to dairy.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAIRY ISLE - FLASHBACK

A woman next to Cam drops an entire gallon of milk and itsspilling all over the floor. Cam runs away waiving his arms.

CAMERONIM LACTOSE INTOLERANT!

INTERVIEW MITCHELL (CONTD)

MITCHELLI just dont want this to turn intothat. No use crying over spilt

milk doesnt really hold up inthis house.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - LOCKER ROOM - MORNING

Alex is standing at her locker in a seemingly empty lockerroom looking around anxiously.

INTERVIEW ALEX

ALEXI asked Haley how to do senior skipday and do you know what she said?You just dont go. Ha!

(MORE)

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Ive gotten a group together, linedup our schedules, and have come up

with a quite ingenious way of doingsenior skip day without missing anyassignments. I can do both! Itsfoolproof.

She holds up laminated/hi-lighted charts and schedules.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - LOCKER ROOM - CONTINUOUS

A group of nerdy students comes in and huddles around Alex.

ALEXListen up. Weve got a pretty tightschedule today. Youve all beenhand-picked for a reason --

One more nerd runs in, trips, and holds up a now crumpledmap.

ALEX (CONTD)and that reason really only has todo with your schedules so that wehave someone to cover every period.

Anyway, just follow these charts,and meet back here before lastperiod. Group one can come in mycar.

INT. NURSING HOME - FOYER - AFTERNOON

LUKEThis stinks. Literally.

MANNYIm looking forward to it. I think

we can learn a lot from our elders.

LUKEIm looking forward to the freepudding. See ya!

Luke walks into the cafeteria to find a group of elderly mensitting at a table.

OLD MANOh good. The high school kids areback. This place should stink likecologne in no time!

ALEX (CONT'D)

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LUKEIm just here for the free pudding.

OLD MANIf youre lucky youll get a prize!I found my teeth in mine last week!

Luke excitedly starts pulling the cellophane off every bowlof pudding in hopes of finding something cool.

INT. NURSING HOME - RESIDENTS ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Manny is playing cards with some of the residents.

MANNYI could really get used to the pacehere.

Luke appears at the door, out of breath.

LUKEThe pace here might be a littlefaster than you think.

Luke motions for Manny to come into the hallway to see thatmovers are cleaning out a room across the hall.

RESIDENTThat was Moe. He was only seventy-five years young!

MANNYOh my God. Thats not much olderthan Jay!

LUKEGreat!

MANNYNot exactly the response Iexpected. Hes still yourgrandfather.

LUKENo, I mean since hes so old, wecan just volunteer to help him.We can still get credit and wellkill two birds with one stone.

MANNYI think its a little soon to betalking about death so lightly. And

why are you out of breath?

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Two of the residents from the cafeteria pull up on theirscooters at the end of the hall.

RESIDENTSThere he is!/Theres the puddingthief!/ Get him!

Manny and Luke run for the exit. They see their counselor,Mr. Carter, at the door.

MANNYWhats your stance on in-home care?

MR. CARTERMost students shy away from that.Its a big job. Do you think youcan handle it?

Jay pulls into the parking lot (going the wrong way) to pick

up the boys.

MR. CARTER (CONTD)Those patients can be confused.

MANNYYup.

MR. CARTEREasily irritated.

Jay starts beeping for their attention.

MANNYCheck.

MR. CARTERStubborn.

JAY(yelling from the car)

Lets go! Get the lead out!

LUKEI think weve got a winner!

MR. CARTERIm very impressed with yourdedication to helping the elderly.I think thats a fine idea,gentlemen. Ill set it up throughyour school.

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LUKENo need for that! Weve got itcovered!

Manny and Luke run away to Jays car as the old men inscooters are inching closer to the door.

END OF ACT ONE

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ACT TWO

INT. MITCHELL AND CAMERONS CONDO - KITCHEN - DAY

Claire rings the doorbell, and Cameron answers the door in a

kimono.

CAMERONHi. Dont mind me - I spilledkimchi on my pants, and Im just

waiting for them to come out of thewash.

CLAIREDidnt even cross my mind. Mitchelltold me you have some kind ofrepellent that worked when you hadfruit flies last summer. Please

tell me you have some left.

CAMERONOf course. Come on in while I findit. I just made some tea; have aseat.

Cameron does a ceremonial bow and pours her tea.

CLAIREOk. Whats all this? I feel likeIm in that drag Japaneserestaurant we used to go to.

CAMERONOh, Sake To Me? I loved that place!

Aw, remember when we used to callyou Fruit Fly?

CLAIRENo! No one ever told me this!

CAMERONAnyway, Im trying to embrace moreVietnamese culture for Lily. We

just signed her up for karateclasses, too. I dont want her togrow up confused about who she is.

CLAIREIm almost positive that karatecomes from China, and youre surethat her dad wearing a Japanesedress wont just confuse her more?

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CAMERONYou know, you were a lot lessjudgey when you were a fruit fly.

Lily enters.

LILYWhats for lunch? Im hungry.

CAMERONI made kimchi stew with fish balls!

LILYAre fish balls like fish sticks?

CLAIRENot even close.

LILY

Every country has a McDonalds, andthis is nota happy meal.

EXT. COUNTRY CLUB - FRONT - DAY

Phil is saying goodbye to a few people when Jay pulls up on agolf cart.

JAYI caught the last few minutes ofthat seminar. Some interestingideas.

PHILOh, well Im flatter--

JAY(interrupting)

Calm down. I just came by for around of golf and I walked by andoverheard some stuff. Some overly-complicated stuff.

PHIL

Well if youd like me to explain itmore, we can have a one-on-oneseminar.

JAYNo need for that. I understand whatyoure saying, I just think your

methods are a little...technologically snobby.

(MORE)

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You dont need all these apps anddo-dads to save money. I did it theold fashioned way, and look at menow.

PHIL

With all due respect, I think thehousing market back then consistedof sticking a flag into yourterritory and calling it a day. The

mortgage companies arent quite soeasy to navigate anymore.

JAYAt least I dont need a GPS tonavigate. Do you even know where weare right now? Men of yourgeneration have completely losttheir sense of direction.

PHILAre you uncomfortable with the ideaof a man Q-ponning, too? Its 2014,Jay; a time of gender equality androle playing! (beat) Role reversal.

JAYYoure wrong. There will always beroles. Some people are meant to

manage, and some people are meantto be managed. You build an empireby delegating responsibility.

PHILStep into this century, old man! Ibet I can buy all the supplies onyour list for Glorias birthdayparty using only my technologicalsavvy and twenty bucks.

JAYGreat. Lists are more Mannysthing, so heres what he wants.Good luck with that Colombian goat

milk.

Jay starts to drive away.

PHILNo problem!

(looking worried into thecamera)

JAY (CONT'D)

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INT. FROZEN YOGURT STORE - DAY

Cameron and Gloria are standing over the self-serve toppingbar.

CAMERON

Oh, maybe you should ask about thesenior discount, birthday girl!

GLORIAEverybodys a comedian today! I

might be old, but at least Im notabusing the toppings bar.

CAMERONIts lychee. Its Vietnamese.

GLORIAIts Chinese!

Gloria storms out and Cameron is left standing with his bowlin hand.

CAMERONBut I already took my Lactaid!

INTERVIEW CAMERON

CAMERON (CONTD)(Eating directly from ablock of cheese.)

Since Im the actor of the family,I was the one responsible fordistracting Gloria before thesurprise party. We came up withthis thing called Fro-Yo Talk Show

where we go get frozen yogurt,people watch, and pretend werehosting our own talk show abouteverybody who walks by.Unfortunately, todays episode gota little sour.

Cameron looks at the cheese, then looks at the camera.

CAMERON (CONTD)I already took my Lactaid...

EXT. BEACH - AFTERNOON

Alex and her group of friends are sitting on the beach whileeveryone else has fun around them. A beach ball hits Alex inthe head.

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ALEXOk, you guys ready to go back? Ithink were done here.

Everyone agrees.

INT. JAY AND GLORIAS HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Jay is sitting back in a recliner with the dog on his lap.Manny enters.

MANNYHeres your tea. I know you usuallytake it with whiskey, but Irecently finished reading a newstudy from the World HealthOrganization, and...

JAYDont even finish that sentence.

MANNYOkay, but turning a blind eye willprobably only lead to two blindeyes.

JAYRead me the description for thisshow, will ya? I left my glasses inthe kitchen.

MANNY(handing Jay his volunteertime-sheet)

Sure thing. Would you mind signingthis?

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY

Phil is on the attic ladder while Claire holds it steady.

CLAIRE

I just dont see how wearingspandex while you shop is going toprove your manliness to my father.

PHILThis part isnt for your father.Its to streamline this beautiful

machine.(MORE)

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Plus its so tight it makes me gofaster, because I can usually only

wear it for twenty minutes before Istart to lose blood-flow.

Claire sees a fruit fly and lets go of the ladder.

CLAIRE(swatting and clappingfuriously)

Is this where theyre coming fromor have they spread?

PHILFound em!

Phil raises the spandex in triumph, falls backwards off theladder and tumbles down the stairs.

PHIL (CONTD)Dunphy down!

CLAIREI think it would be funnier if yousaid Phil down. Because then itsounds more like fell down.

PHILYou dont even Claire.

INT. CAMERONS CAR - DAY

GLORIAThank you for picking me up after Istormed out. I cant get as far inheels as I used to, you know?

CAMERONUgh. Tell me about it. Now are yougoing to explain what that was allabout back there or are we going touse the Pritchett method andpretend it never happened?

GLORIAOk, Im just going to say it. Im --

A horn beeps, and we dont hear her say her age.

CAMERONWhat?! This is so unfair. How isanyone supposed to compete withthat?

PHIL (CONT'D)

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GLORIACameron, lying is a big deal in myculture. Ive lived for years infear that I could be snatched up atany minute!

Cameron looks confused.

GLORIA (CONTD)I shouldnt have kept the lie goingfor so long. Im setting a badexample as a mother.

CAMERONWell what kind of father am I whodoesnt even know whats Vietnameseand whats not? When life gives youlychee, what in the world do youmake? Are we bad parents?

GLORIAWe dont have to be. Im going totell them the truth. Take me home!

CAMERONThis is so exciting! Theyre noteven going to be mad at you. Whenyoure old you can literally getaway with murder.

Gloria glares at Cameron.

CAMERON (CONTD)Not literally.

END OF ACT TWO

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ACT THREE

EXT. SUPER MARKET - PARKING LOT - DAY

Phil is in a scooter-cart and Luke is behind him, rubbing his

shoulders like a coach.

PHILYou cant spell struggle withoutStrug.

LUKEThats true... I dont get it.

PHILI realize youre too young to know

who Kerry Strug is, but the bottomline is that she didnt give up

when she was hurt! If she can win agold medal with a broken foot, wecan do this!

LUKEWhatever you say.

PHILGet my phone out of my pocket for

me. Its Q-pon time.

Luke gets the phone, and the screen is shattered.

PHIL (CONTD)WHYYYYYYYY?

LUKEIts not a big deal. Lets just getthe stuff and use the couponsanother time. Grandpa wont care.

PHILI only brought fifteen dollars.

LUKE

I thought you could use twenty.

PHILIts called challenging yourself!(beat) Im sorry, buddy, Imlashing out. Dump all your changein here, and well see what wevegot.

A man from Phils savings seminar walks by.

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PHIL (CONTD)Jerry! Good to see you again sosoon!

JERRYHi Phil. Really good seminar

earlier. You gave some great tips.

PHILYeah, yeah. Listen, I need toborrow some money.

JERRYIs this a test? Correct me if Im

wrong, but didnt you say dontlend a dime and your savings they

will climb?

PHIL

(looking desperate)Im in a pickle here, Jerry!

JERRYYeah, that was in the third verse;dont lend a nickle even iftheyre in a pickle. Catchy tune.See ya later.

LUKEWhen you dont have any cash, itsa pain in the --

PHILLuke!

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - AFTERNOON

Alex and her friends try getting into school through a backdoor.

ALEXIts locked! How can it be locked?

FRIENDUh, weve never skipped schoolbefore. We didnt prepare for this.Were probably just going to gohome so we dont get caught.

ALEXWhat? No! I need to get my biologynotes from my locker! We have atest tomorrow! Someone hoist me up.

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Someone helps Alex climb to the top of a dumpster. The bellrings, and her friends scatter.

INT. MITCHELL AND CAMERONS CONDO - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Haley and Mitchell are trying to meditate but are clearlybored. Hayleys phone rings, and she picks it up immediately.

HALEYUgh, what? Im meditating.

ALEX (V.O.)I need your help.

HALEYIm sorry, what was that?

ALEX (V.O.)

Dont make me beg.

HALEYNo, seriously I couldnt hear youtheres like an echo or something.

Reveal Alex stuck hanging halfway out the window.

ALEXI tried to get back into schoolthrough a bathroom window...

HALEYYour boobs are way too big forthat.

MITCHELLIs that Alex? Tell her I said hi.

ALEXI heard. Remember that echo?

MITCHELLDont worry Alex, a similar thinghappened to me last year only I was

stuck in a vent at work. At leastyou have your cell phone! I droppedmine and then --

ALEX (V.O.)I dont really see how this isimportant right now, UncleMitchell.

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HALEYJust so Im clear - youre tryingto sneak back intoschool?

ALEXPlease hurry.

INTERVIEW HALEY

HALEYI should have told her that the gymdoor is always unlocked and thatshe could have gone through thebasement and up through the music

wing from there. But what kind of asister would I be if I didnt lether learn her own lessons? (beat) Ialso really wanted to see her stuckin a window.

INT. MITCHELL AND CAMERONS CONDO - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

MITCHELLLily! Lets go. We have to pick up

Alex.

LILYYou guys are finished withmeditation so soon?

HALEY(to Mitchell)Whats this? Why is she doing air-quotes?

LILYI dont know why you cant justcall it nap time. I would hate for

Aunt Claire to find out youcanceled lunch plans for yoga.

HALEYIs she trying to bribe us?

MITCHELLWhere is this going exactly?

LILYTell Daddy that karate isVietnamese so we dont have to eatany more fish guts.

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MITCHELLDone.

INT. JAY AND GLORIAS HOUSE - KITCHEN- AFTERNOON

MANNYWe should really start gettingeverything ready for tonight. Doyou still have my list?

JAYI gave it to Phil. He thinks he canuse coupons on some stupid app toget everything for your mothersparty with twenty bucks.

MANNYTwenty dollars??

JAYDont worry. Hell either spend the

money thats actually needed, or hewill screw it up and Gloria willget a kick out of it.

MANNYListen, Jay, I dont want to talkbadly about my mom but were livingin a material world and she is a

material girl.

JAY(reading from the paper hesigned)

Meal preparation and feeding:thirty minutes, reading time:fifteen minutes. What is this?

MANNYYou signed it earlier. Its for myschool service assignment.

JAY

Why is the service location listedas our house?

MANNYIt was Lukes idea! When we got tothe nursing home, people weredropping like flies, Jay! I canthandle that kind of stress!

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JAYSo you thought youd help out yourold man and count that as yourservice?

MANNY

One guy was seventy-five and hecroaked! And youre sixty-five,so...

Cameron pulls in the driveway and Gloria is about to walk inthe door when she overhears Jay and Mannys conversation.

JAYThats ten years! Do you have anyidea what a big difference that is?Thats more than half your life!

Gloria runs back in the car without being noticed.

JAY (CONTD)Get your coat. Were going to thatnursing home right now and youregoing to tell the counselor thetruth. Im no charity case. Youthink Im a chore to be around?

MANNYLets just calm down here. Itsalmost soiree time.

JAYThe party can wait. Just get in thecar.

Jay and Manny walk out the front door to find Phil and Lukewalking up the driveway. Phil has his arms full of randomthings for the party.

MANNYThe jig is up.

JAY(to Luke)

And it didnt take more than twoseconds for him to blame the bigidea on you.

LUKETraitor!

PHILWhat the heck is going on here?

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LUKE(to Phil)

It doesnt concern us.

JAYI think it does! Phil, follow us to

the nursing home. These two havesome explaining to do.

PHILBut what about the party?

Jay has already started pulling out of the driveway.

PHIL (CONTD)Ok. Ill just leave everything herethen.

INT. CAMERONS CAR - MOMENTS LATER

Gloria and Cameron are still parked outside the house.

CAMERONSo whats going on now?

GLORIAFollow them!

CAMERONBut we dont even know wheretheyre--

GLORIAI said step on them!

INT. MITCHELLS CAR - MOMENTS LATER

Mitchell, Haley, Lily, and Alex are at a stop sign when theysee the three cars pass by going away from Jays house.

MITCHELLWhere is everyone going?

HALEYOh my God did someone die? Thislooks like a funeral procession.

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ALEXUncle Cam just texted me.

Apparently they want us to meetthem at 1487 Roscoe Blvd., whichaccording to the GPS, is a placecalled Pleasant Meadows.

HALEYOh my God someone diddie!

MITCHELLNobody died!

ALEXHows that yoga class going?

Mitchell and Lily make eye contact in the rear-view mirror.

INT. PLEASANT MEADOWS - FOYER - MOMENTS LATER

JAY(to an employee)

Wheres the guy in charge here?

EMPLOYEEEverybody is in the Great Room fora birthday soiree.

JAY(to Manny)

And you mean to tell me you didntlike it here?

Phil, Luke, Cam, and Gloria walk in.

MANNYWhat are you doing here?

GLORIAI had to come right away. Theressomething I have to get off mychest.

OLD MANLooks like theres a couple thingsshe could get off her chest!

Everyone looks at him. He passes by slowly in his scooter.

GLORIAIve been a bad mother and a bad

wife.(MORE)

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Theres something Ive been lyingabout, and I cant hold it inanymore even if it will make you

mad.

Mitchell, Alex, Haley, Claire, and Lily (in a karate uniform)

walk in.

GLORIA (CONTD)Im forty-four!

Claire begins to clap in excitement.

CLAIREThought I saw a fruit fly...

JAYI hate to break it to ya, Gloria,but this isnt news to us.

MANNYYeah come on, Mom. I just wentalong with it because I thoughtthats what women do after they hitthirty; just keep celebrating thesame birthdays for a while.

JAYI have to say that you being older

makes me feel younger. I think itsa win-win.

PHILForty-four never looked so good!

Claire gives him a look.

PHIL (CONTD)Until two years from now whenClaire turns forty-four...

GLORIABut what was all that in the houseabout ten years being such a big

deal?

JAYWell I guess lying is genetic. Whydont you ask your son what thatsabout?

GLORIAWhats going on, Manny? Why iseveryone here?

GLORIA (CONT'D)

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MITCHELLWe just followed you guys.

CAMERONWell, we followed Phil and Jay.

PHILJay made me come.

CLAIREI got a call from Phil saying thatGlorias party was moved here.

GLORIAWhat party?

MANNYEverythings ruined.

Mr. Carter walks out into the foyer.

MR. CARTERManny? Are you putting in even morehours now? Im really in awe ofthis dedication!

MANNYYoure not making this any easier.

LUKEIt was my fault.

MR. CARTERAre you referring to the puddingincident? Some people just getexcited about pudding. Its ok,really.

Everyone looks confused.

GLORIAWhat is going on?

LUKE

I convinced Manny to quitvolunteering here so he could justhelp Grandpa instead.

CLAIRE(to Luke)

What about your volunteer hours?Who have you helped? Besidesyourself, to pudding?

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MR. CARTERLets say Ill call it even ifeveryone joins us for the birthdaycelebration. The more the merrier.

He walks back toward the Great Room.

MR. CARTER (CONTD)I hope Ill see you in here!

GLORIAI should always have my birthday ata place like this. It makes me feelso young!

ALEXI feel so old. You know, I tried toact like a teenager today and Ilasted about twenty minutes. Acting

your age is overrated.

MANNYSo youre not disappointed that

were spending your birthday partywith a bunch of old people?

GLORIAIts perfect, mi amor.

LILYCome on, people! Theres probablysugar free birthday cake in there!

CAMERONIve been trying to feed her kimchiall day, so shes pretty excitableat this point.

An old man drives up to the Great Room on his scooter aseveryone is walking in.

PHILNice wheels! How many speeds yougot on that puppy?

He runs over Phils already injured foot.

PHIL (CONTD)WHYYYYYYY!?

29.


31/32

INT. PLEASANT MEADOWS - GREAT ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

CLAIRE(to Phil)

What do you say I go back to doingthe shopping and you go back to

being the amateur exterminator?

PHILOh thank God. Those supermarketgrannies are cut-throat.

MANNY(to Luke)

Were really lucky that Mr. Carterlet us off the hook so easily. Kidsin Columbia get stolen for pullingstuff like this, you know.

INT. PLEASANT MEADOWS - GREAT ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves with the residents.

GLORIA (V.O.)Sometimes people let their agedefine them. They get stuck in anumber, and stop trying new things,or they do what they think theyresupposed to.

ANGLE ON: Alex dancing with an old man.

GLORIA (V.O.)I learned that sometimes all ittakes is a little encouragement...

ANGLE ON: Lily doing karate moves while Cameron and Mitchellcheer her on.

GLORIA (V.O.)and support...

ANGLE ON: Phil leaning on Claire and Luke for stability.

GLORIA (V.O.)and that can make all thedifference.

Cameron reaches for a piece of cake. A woman behind the tablehands him a glass of milk, and he slaps it out of her hand.

30.


32/32

CAMERONIm so sorry. Knee-jerk reaction.

(to the family)Is everyone ready to go?

END OF SHOW

31.

modern family spec- mister saigon

clairecompetitive yoga

yoga formyself

phil contdkidding

imstarting yoga classes

haleyisnt senior skip

phil interviewphil contdive

qpon master

gloria grabs joe

Documents

mister mcquuti

mister chef

mister corb

mister wong

mister spaceship

saigon living guide intro- this is the property of saigon...

mister guapo

mister colibri

mister morton walked down the street mister morton mister...

em saigon

mister cuervo

saigon mia du an saigon mia can ho saigon mia sai gon mia

mister cocktail

mister 2007

mister puss

saigon nightlife

mister sandman

saigon xua

mister fox

mister pip