style advice for technical writing

Style advice for technical

writingDr. Arnett

WRIT 3140

Advice from plainlanguage.gov

• analyze your audience(s)• address separate audiences…

separately

http://skinnydip.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/hipster.jpg

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/the-golden-girls.jpg

Advice from plainlanguage.gov

• analyze your audience(s)• address separate audiences…

separately• get to the point quickly•state the purpose, state the main point, and omit background info

http://www.nassaulibrary.org/centreblog/girl_reading_in_chair_hg_wht.gif

Advice from plainlanguage.gov

• analyze your audience(s)• address separate audiences…

separately• get to the point quickly•state the purpose, state the main point, and omit background info

• use “you” / imperative voice

Advice from plainlanguage.gov

• analyze your audience(s)• address separate audiences…

separately• get to the point quickly•state the purpose, state the main point, and omit background info

• use “you” / imperative voice• use active voice and active verbs

Specific advice on language use

(prepare to take notes)

Create“end focus.”

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. It had an unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, it would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. It had an unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, it would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

lack of end focus

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. It had an unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, it would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

lack of end focus

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. This car’s flaw was its unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, it would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

lack of end focus partially fixed

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. This car’s flaw was its unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, it would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

lack of end focus partially fixed

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. This car’s flaw was its unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, this weak neck would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

lack of end focus partially fixed

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. This car’s flaw was its unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, this weak neck would rupture. Spilled gas would cause a fire.

lack of end focus partially fixed

The Ford Pinto is a deeply flawed car from the 1970s. This car’s flaw was its unreinforced gas tank filler neck. If a rear-end collision occurred, this weak neck would rupture, spill gas, and start a fire.

lack of end focus fixed

Avoid nonsense antecedents.

antecedent = the thing a pronoun refers to

pronoun = a word that substitutes for a noun

When the user presses Alt+F4, it will shut down.

When the user presses Alt+F4, it will shut down.

When the user presses Alt+F4, it will shut down.

nonsense antecedent

When the user presses Alt+F4, the computer will shut down.

nonsense antecedent fixed

Specify pronoun antecedents.

The Norton Antivirus website updates your virus protection software automatically, once a week. This protects your computer from new viruses.

The Norton Antivirus website updates your virus protection software automatically, once a week. This protects your computer from new viruses.

vague pronoun reference

The Norton Antivirus website updates your virus protection software automatically, once a week. This update protects your computer from new viruses.

vague pronoun reference fixed

Match pronoun cases.

case = the form of a word that shows its relationship to other words in the sentence

singular/plural (I, he, we, they)subjective/objective/possessive (I, me, mine)relative (that, which)interrogative (who, whose, whom)indefinite (everybody, nobody)

It’s common for a 26-year-old to be more mature than they were at 19.

It’s common for a 26-year-old to be more mature than they were at 19.

It’s common for a 26-year-old to be more mature than they were at 19.

pronoun case mismatch

It’s common for 26-year-olds to be more mature than they were at 19.It’s common for a 26-year-old to be more mature than she was at 19.

pronoun case mismatch fixed

Jimmy and me should have the job done in ten minutes.

Jimmy and me should have the job done in ten minutes.

Jimmy and me should have the job done in ten minutes.

pronoun case mismatch

Jimmy and I should have the job done in ten minutes.

pronoun case mismatch fixed

Cut down noun strings.

noun string = a collection of nouns, one after the other

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development is an important task.

noun string

Developing safety procedures for underground mine workers is an important task.

noun string fixed

Change nominalizations into nouns or verbs.

nominalization = a verb, adjective, or other part of speech that’s been turned into a noun

-tion, -ure, -ability, -ness, -ity, -ance, -ence, -ing, -ment

Charles experienced the development of unhappiness due to performance difficulties at his location of employment.

Charles experienced the development of unhappiness due to performance difficulties at his location of employment.

nominalizations

Charles became unhappy because he didn’t perform well at his workplace.

nominalizations fixed

Don’t cut words to save space.

Use pliers to bend wire at mark.

Use pliers to bend wire at mark.

telegraphic writing

Use pliers to bend the red wire at the mark.

telegraphic writing fixed

Use active voice verbs, if appropriate.

active voice = verb form where the subject of the verb is performing the action

passive voice = verb form where the subject of the verb receives the action

p.v. = “to be” verb + past participle

The ball was kicked over the fence by Ashley.

The ball was kicked over the fence by Ashley.

passive voice verb

Ashley kicked the ball over the fence.

passive voice verb fixed

40 mL of hydrochloric acid was added dropwise to 1 L of water.

40 mL of hydrochloric acid was added dropwise to 1 L of water.

40 mL of hydrochloric acid was added dropwise to 1 L of water.

no change needed

Use passive voice when• the actor is implied, unknown, or

unimportant• the audience expects passive voice• passive voice creates end focus

Don’t “bury” verbs.

It is observed that acid has a corrosive effect on the surface.

It is observed that acid has a corrosive effect on the surface.

“buried” verb

Acid has a corrosive effect on the surface.

“buried” verb, partially fixed

Acid corrodes the surface.

“buried” verb fixed

Use active verbs rather than “to be” verbs.

“to be” = am, is, are, was, were

The peg is in the hole.

The peg is in the hole.

static “to be” verb

The peg fits in the hole.

static “to be” verb fixed

“e-prime”• get rid of all “to be” verbs

Use specific, rather than general, verbs.

Put the resistor on the circuit board.

Put the resistor on the circuit board.

vague verb

Attach the resistor to the circuit board.

vague verb fixed

Eliminate expletives.

expletive = it is, there is, there are

There are five bolts included in the package.

There are five bolts included in the package.

expletive

Five bolts are included in the package.

The package includes five bolts.

expletive fixed

Avoid misplaced modifiers.

misplaced modifier = a modifying word or phrase that’s attached to the wrong object

You must only supply one copy of the report.

You must only supply one copy of the report.

You must only supply one copy of the report.

You must only supply one copy of the report.

You must only supply one copy of the report.

misplaced modifier

You must supply only one copy of the report.

misplaced modifier fixed

Avoid dangling modifiers.

dangling modifier = a modifying word or phrase whose intended object isn’t in the sentence

After careful research and an in-depth analysis, the criteria below will be used to make a decision.

After careful research and an in-depth analysis, the criteria below will be used to make a decision.

After careful research and an in-depth analysis, the criteria below will be used to make a decision.

dangling modifier

After careful research and an in-depth analysis, we will use the criteria below to make a decision.

dangling modifier fixed

Stirring vigorously, the solution will change color.

Stirring vigorously, the solution will change color.

dangling modifier

The solution will change color if stirred vigorously.

If you stir the solution vigorously, it will change color.

Stir the solution vigorously to change its color.

dangling modifier fixed

Be concise.

A sufficient number of bats live in the cave at this point in time to begin and commence making a significantly noticeable dent in the mosquito population.

A sufficient number of bats live in the cave at this point in time to begin and commence making a significantly noticeable dent in the mosquito population.

wordy phrases

Enough bats live in the cave now to start making a noticeable dent in the mosquito population.

wordy phrases fixed

Eschew obfuscatory verbiage.

Say what?

Eschew obfuscatory verbiage.

Eschew obfuscatory verbiage.

unfamiliar, complex words

Avoid using unclear language.

(or, better yet)

Use clear language.

unfamiliar, complex words fixed

Utilize common words as a means of elucidating your meaning.

Utilize common words as a means of elucidating your meaning.

“fancy” words and phrases

Use common words to explain your meaning.

“fancy” words and phrases fixed

utilize useeffectuate doterminate end

http://www.stcwdc.org/avoid_jargon.shtml

Use inclusive language.

When a crippled golfer uses the X-14 putter, he should assume an open stance.

When a crippled golfer uses the X-14 putter, he should assume an open stance.

discriminatory language

When a disabled golfer uses the X-14 putter, she should assume an open stance.

discriminatory language fixed

You can use gender-specific language, but don’t make sexist assumptions.

Write out unfamiliar acronyms and initialisms.

Turn in your approved ARD to our CPA.

Turn in your approved ARD to our CPA.

unfamiliar acronym/initialism

Turn in your approved Annual Review Document (ARD) to our CPA.

unfamiliar acronym/initialism fixed

Choose specific words.

Many businesses are feeling the effects of a sluggish economy.

Many businesses are feeling the effects of a sluggish economy.

vague, imprecise wording

Seventy percent of the businesses surveyed are feeling the effects of a sluggish economy.

vague, imprecise wording fixed

Use consistent phrasing.

Take care when lifting elderly people out of cars. Old folks have fragile bones, and seniors can also have sensitive feelings.

Take care when lifting elderly people out of cars. Old folks have fragile bones, and seniors can also have sensitive feelings.

inconsistent wording

Take care when lifting senior citizens out of cars. Senior citizens have fragile bones and can also have sensitive feelings.

inconsistent wording fixed

Aim for a low grade-level readability score.

Enable the readability statistics on MS Word.

Here’s how…

End.