the matelot‟s ten commandments -...

by W.H. „Pincher‟ Martin

The Matelot‟s Ten Commandments

The Royal Maritime Club, Portsmouth.

Formerly know as The Royal Sailor‟s Home Club.

Idea adapted from „original poster‟ which is on public display at...

Adapted by MIS

FIRST COMMANDMENT!

Thou shalt not scrounge; neither shalt thou swing the lead, lest thy resting place be in the „oggin‟ where the

fishes and whales do quench their thirst.

Thou shalt not take the name of the „Buffer‟ in vain; lest thou hast thy name inscribed on an S.241,

and be placed on a course of jankers.

SECOND COMMANDMENT!

THIRD COMMANDMENT!

Honour thy Paybob and thy Coxswain all the days of thy service, that thy credits may be remembered,

yea even as the sands of Egypt.

FOURTH COMMANDMENT!

Six days shalt thou labour and do all thy work, but on the seventh thou shalt do twice as much.

FIFTH COMMANDMENT!

Thou shalt not fill thyself to overflowing with beer, or by Royal Warrant, thou shalt loose much pay and

thy Coxwain shall number thee amongst his transgressors and thou shalt see the

Promised Land for many moons.

SIXTH COMMANDMENT!

And if it comes to pass, that by thy zeal and by the sweat on thy brow, there is any mention of thou being elevated

to thy dizzy heights of Acting Leading Seaman, LO! Thou shalt journey into the place of the big noises,

called the Fleet Club and thou shalt crave that they accept liquid refreshment at thine own expense.

SEVENTH COMMANDMENT!

Fritter not away thy worldly goods in pursuit of banker, nap or pontoon lest the avenging voice of the

Duty Officer be heard in the land saying, “Render unto me thy name and let the

shekels remain where they lie.”

Thou shalt not kill. If thy grieves thee, thou shalt not swipe him hip or thigh, neither shalt thou draw him off …but thou shalt go

forth unto the cabbosh of the headsman and crave audience of him and words of wisdom shall flow forth, with much weeping

and gnashing of teeth and the next time it shall be twice as bad.

EIGHTH COMMANDMENT!

Thou shalt not covet not take unto thyself thy neighbour‟s kit, nor yet his blanket, neither shalt thou borrow anything

of the owner thereof if he is not present, lest thou hast thy sin visited upon thee

by the hand that blacketh eyes.

NINTH COMMANDMENT!

And when it comes to pass, that thou art time expired, thou shalt embark upon the waters and journey upon them for many moons, until thou reachest the Promised Land, which is called „Yew Kay‟

(unless thou fliest perchance with the speed and strength of an eagle). There thou shalt take unto thee strange raiment and thou

shalt be known in the land as a “Civvy”…… There in the land of „Yew Kay‟ thou shalt study a certain „dole‟

and the drawing thereof and thou shalt rest from labours and ease thy bones.

Amen

TENTH COMMANDMENT!

LOOKING FOR THE PROMISED LAND!