yiddish refresher!

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Vay iz meerVay iz meer

• An expression which closely resembles "Woe is Me",and is cried out by Jewish mothers every 15 minutes.

• An anthem of true suffering.

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GoyimGoyim: :

• People who are Gentile. A polite term for anyone who doesn't love a good bargain or has extra skin on his schmeckel.

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TattalahTattalah

• An endearing term of love which means "little man".

• An emasculating term for women to call men, if you think about it. But who has time to think.

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Gefilte FishGefilte Fish

• A tasty mix of congealed fish parts and transparent slime jelly.The only food it is permissible for Jewish children to refuse.

• In some families, they may even be allowed to gag, but politely.

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ChaleriaChaleria

• A derogatory term which best refers to a female business associate or a mother-in-law. The closest English equivalent is "bitch".

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KoorvehKoorveh

• A call-girl, or prostitute.

• A reference to the Russian Czar's wife at the turn of the 20th Century, and to that flashy shiksa your nephew married. Also known as Nafkeh.

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KugelKugel

• A yummy blend of overcooked noodles , raisins, and curds of ripe cheese. Not fun to look at. When lathered with sour cream makes an excellent artery hardener.

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BorschtBorscht

• A purple soup made from beets and ammonia. Often eatenby elderly Ashkenazic Jews who slurp noisily and have protruding nose hair. Which is helpful, because it stinks to high heaven.

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K'naidlachK'naidlach

• Also referred to as matzoh balls. Made with styrofoam and sponges. There isn't a laxative in the world strong enough to counteract them.

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SchmendrickSchmendrick

• A man who messes things up, always loses and feels miserable. Closely related to Schlemazel and Schlemiell. Every Jewish familyhas at least one, often named Irving.

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SchlemielSchlemiel

• A jerk who can't do anything right. In simple terms, someone who's always spilling his soup.

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SchlemazelSchlemazel

• The poor dumb putz a Schlemiell is always spilling soup on.

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TsurisTsuris

• A word referring to all problems, trouble, grief, aggravation and heartache. Examples: daughter pregnant with child of an unemployed Catholic bartender, adult son loses job and moves back home.

Major Tsuris: Daughter and  baby "Bridget" move back home too.

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LatkesLatkes

• Potato pancakes fried in castor oil and lightly seasoned with balsa wood. Smells like old boxer shorts.

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Ken in- a- huraKen in- a- hura

• A gleeful rejoice used when Jewish parents find out their only daughter is going to marry the Jewish surgeon

(who is bi) rather than that poor, unemployed goyishe bartenderwho is a stud…

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