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An African Christmas Story

Once upon a time there lived an old old man called Zimzani who ruled over the Ntutu tribe. Zimzani was a very rich oldman; he had more cows than raindrops in a thunderstorm and his hut was in the middle of a very big raal. Of courseZimzani was a very fat old man ! under his chin was another very fat chin and under that chin was another fat chin andunder that chin was another fat chin until you got to the chin which was "ust on top of his chest and then his chest rolleddown into his stomach and his stomach rolled over onto his thighs. #ust lie all the hills and mountains in Zululand !he rolled on forever. $e was so fat; he could hardly wal anymore and all day long the strongest men in the raal hadto be ready to carry him on a long mat from place to place. %hen it was very far to go he would drive his big oldCadillac very fast hooting all the time so that people would run out of the road and not be illed. $e did not care if heran all the chicens down or illed someone&s cow or goat or even sometimes the littlest children who could not runvery fast. $e was a very nasty fat old man indeed.

$e had very many wives and even more children and although they were happy to have enough to eat and a nice raalto live in' none of them lie him very much and they all tried to stay out of his way as much as possible.

Zimzani was a cross old man who could hardly breathe because he was so far. (he sweat ran down his body all daylong and if you got too close to him you would smell the smell of an old carcass that has lain rotting while the hyenasfight over it. And his breath smelt "ust lie a dead dog. Nobody wanted to sit ne)t to him and when it was time to taehim his food all the women would shove and push and try to get out of it by claiming to have done it last time. (hen

one of the oldest wives would put her foot down and say which wife must do it today and the poor woman would holdher breath and wal very softly hoping that today he would not mae her stay and tal to him while he ate because it

would always mae you sic to see his big sausage fingers foring up the food into his wide stining mouth. And shewould not be able to eat herself for a day or two until she stopped feeling sic every time she looed at food. (he oldwives never too his food to him' they said they had wored for him for too long and now was their time to rest andthey would sit in the hut farthest from him and smoe their long pipes and tell each other where they would go when hedied. *veryone hoped that he would die soon from being too fat but he lived on and on and everyone was afraid.

(he only time when Zimzani would wal was when he lost his temper and the whole raal would shae at his heavyfootsteps and his loud roars of rage. (he chicens would run s+uawing and clucing hide under the beds' thechildren would run screaming into the hills and the women would hide their heads in their sirts and weep and wail andhope that it was not their turn to get beaten. Nobody could say anything to Zimzani when he lost his temper ! it waslie an earth+uae or a thunderstorm ! you "ust had to hide and hope that when it was over you would still be alive to

tell the tale.

Now one day "ust before Christmas' a little boy called Nthembu came hopping up to the gates of the raal. $e was avery ragged little boy with two stics to wal with because his legs were all twisted and bent from not eating enough

when he was a baby. $e had no mother and no father; they had gone a long time ago to the big city to loo for wor.,irst his father had gone and then a year or two later his mother had gone because they had heard no more from hisfather. $is mother&s sister who looed after him had "ust died and even the old goat they had had' had died. (he littleboy had waled many miles to Zimzani&s house to loo for wor so that he could eat and have somewhere to sleep.$e was a very brave little boy because it is not easy to wal a long way with two stics and not now where you aregoing or what you will find there.

%hen he got to the big raal' all the dogs bared and bared and yapped at his heels and Nthembu had to be verycareful not to get bitten. $e swung his legs up and "umped on Zimzani&s big old yellow Cadillac and sat there shivering

in fright' yelling for someone to come and rescue him.

A moment later' he felt the floor begin to shae and tremble and the sound of thunder drew near. And lie a lighteningflash that stries in a second' a hand "umped out and grabbed him by his nec and a deep voice roared' -%hat are youdoing on my car' little boy.

-/lease' sir0 he +uavered in a thin little voice' very frightened because his stics had fallen on the ground dand his littlefeet were dangling beneath him. $e seemed to be as high as the house with only the dogs with their big red mouthsand lots of teeth waiting to catch him. -please' sir0 he said again' -1 am looing for wor.

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And behind him a deep voice started to laugh an awful laugh and a bad smell lie rotten eggs swept over him andmade him want to faint. -$a' $a' $a' $e' $e' $e'2 you came to the wrong place little boy' $a' $a' $a'2 anddropped him with a crash on the floor. (he dogs instead of biting him actually started licing him as if they were sorryfor him now and none of them bared anymore but started to whine and cower in front of the big man. -1 am thenastiest old man in the whole country. $a' $a. Not even my chicens will tal to me. *veryone runs away from meand hides. $a $a. And you want me to give you wor20 $e' $e' $e..

(his was too much for Nthembu' his hungry stomach was so sore and his legs were in a heap and his hurt' he was sotired. $is mother and father were gone' his auntie and the old goat were dead and there was nowhere left for him tolive and no the old fat man was laughing and laughing at him. Nthembu started to cry. ,irst he cried little tears andthen he cried big tears and then as Zimzani carried on laughing he bagan to cry little rivers of tears. (he little rivers

"oined up in his lap and began to flow down the hill from the big raal and still Nthembu cried and Zimzani shoo lie a"elly with laughter. Nthembu cried harder and harder and the river became bigger and bigger and slowly Zimzanibegan to feel afriad. 3ut still Nthembu cired' for his legs and his poor stomach and his sore head and fo rth elong wal

with on a nasty fat man at the end of it. Nthembu "ust ept on crying.

(he river became a flood and Zimzani&s mouth dropped open and it started to flood the mealie fields and his wives&huts and the chicens started to sail away s+uawing. *veryone was running carry pots of mealiemeal on their headsand children under their arms' trying to run away from the river. 3ut still Nthembu cried. Zimzani started to trembleand shae and the water grew higher and higher.

-4ittle one' he said' -Stop crying right this moment' but Nthembu who was now crying for the goat that died and theauntie that died and his mother and father who went away and never came bac and everything else that had evergone wrong in his short li fe' did not even hear him.

Zimzani began to sweat he began to scream' he yelled and roared. $e lay on his bac and iced hi legs' he "umpedup an ddown' roaring' but this only made huge waves in the water around them. Now his big cadillac was starting tomove' all the waves that Zimzani made with his carrying on were starting to shift even the car. $is big hut was fillingup and lifting off and Zimzani at his wits end looed up at the sy and prayed to his ancestors to help him. $e neverdid this usually. 1n fact' he mostly laughed at his ancestors and called them rude names. 3ut then he had never in allhis years had to deal with a boy lie Nthembu.

$is ancestors appeared in the sy and said with a great rattle of bones' -Aaaah' Zimzani' the fat rich man' now you

need us' now you cry for us. ,or many years we have not even had a small mealie as an offering. 5ou have saidmany wiced things to us. Aaaah' but now you send for us' now you need us. $mmmm0 %e will help you but only ifyou promise to help this boy and everyone else we send to you2. 3y this time the cadillac had started to float offdown the road and Zimzani with one desperate eye on the car and anothger on his ancestors in the sy' fell on hisnees and begged them' begged them to help him' please. $e would have promised anything by this stage.

As Zimzani fell on his nees' his house lifted up and started to crea as the water rose higher and higher and said'-Anything0 Anything0 #ust stop this boy from crying. (he ancestors replied6 -Say the 7A81C word. Zimzani' who

was now starting to float away himself' said' -Oh great ones0 %hat is that9

Zimzani&s ancestors laughed up there in the sy holding their sides and dancing a little. 3y this time' Zimzani&s hut hadfloated down the hill after the big cadillac and Zimzani lost his head and ran around lie a mad chicen' he was sofrustrated. -%hat is that' he screamed. And "ust before his ancestors laughed themselves right out of the sy' he

remembered2..

-SO::50000' $e yelled' -1&m sorry0

Nthembu looed up and sniffed and said' -:eally9

-5es' said Zimzani in a gentler voice still looing a bit crazy with his hair standing on end' -5es' 1 am sorry. Sorrierthan 1 have ever been. And Nthembu sniffed again and stopped crying. $e said -Can 1 have a hanerchief please2

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And Zimzani gave him his big sil hanerchief and even' a bit awwardly for sure' even gave him a very big smelly oldhug.

And Nthembu became the first boy to get a well paid "ob from Zimzani in the whole long history of the Ntutu tribe.