RAIDING INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES. 147

his hand, which she took, rising from her seat at the

same time; and together they at once walked out

into the middle of the parlor. The Baptist clergy-

man, at the same moment, advanced a few steps to-

wards them, and, in a clear voice, and tone of solem-

nity, said, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together

here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these

witnesses, to join together this man and woman in

holy matrimony. ^^ -^ -'' Therefore, if any one can

show any just cause why they ma}^ not lawfully be

joined together, let him now speak, or else forever

hereafter hold his peace."

The whole company were astounded at this pro-

ceeding. Amazement was depicted on every counte-

nance. The parents of Miss S. were horrified, and

their lips sealed in utter bewilderment. The truth at

once flashed upon their minds, and they saw that a

gross and well concealed deception had been practiced

upon them by their daughter, and that a well concoct-

ed and skillfully executed scheme by her and Mr.W. had

now its denouement. Mr. B., almost stupified at the

strange enactment he was now witnessing, had un-

consciously followed his false fair one and her newlover into the parlor, and his ears tingled with the

announcement made by the clergyman. The parson

made scarcely a moment's pause for objections to the

nuptials, but proceeded with the ceremony. Mr. B.,

indeed, had, at the momentary pause, hastily pulled

his marriage license out of his pocket, opened it—his

hand trembling the while—glanced hastily at the min-

ister, us if about to hand him the license, and forbid the

bans; thence turning his glance, somewhat implor-

ingly, to the 'Squire, and to the parents of the younglady, and finally upon the fair but cold hearted de-

ceiver herself, and her accomplice in the cruel plot.

148 AFTER THE MOONSHINERS.

When the minister pronounced them "man and wife,

together," Mr. B. uttered a very audible, emphatic'^ Amen/ So be it/ ^^ Then ordering out his horse, he

abruptly, but silently, took his departure.

I will now^ inform the reader— what may have been

alread}^ in part, anticipated—that a mutual attach-

ment, resulting in an engagement to each other, had

long existed between Mr. W. and Miss S. But her

parents were strongly opposed to the match, and for-

bade Mr. \V. the house, and their daughter from see-

ing him. Subsequently she was addressed by Mr. B.,

who was ignorant of her pre-attachment and engage-

ment, and whose suit was warmly approved and fa-

vored by her parents; and he felt encouraged by the

manner in which his addresses were received by the

fair one herself, who was unwilling to grieve her

parents by rejecting him. Mr. B. pressed his suit,

and hei consent was urged by her parents, till finally

she seemed, tacitly, to acquiesce; and the day was

fixed for the nuptials, as before related. In the mean-

time she had made the arrangement privately with Mr.

W., the result of which the reader is already informed.

It only remains to add, that Mr. B. afterward mar-

ried an amiable and worthy 3^oung lady, by whom he

was tenderly loved, and lived happily, and prospered

in the world. It was known, both to Miss S. and her

parents, that Mr. \V., even before his courtship, had

contracted a fondness for the intoxicating draught, of

which he had occasionally given unmistakable evi-

dence. Yet she preferred a reliance upon his solemn

promise of amendment rather than to follow the wise

counsels and warnings of her parents. Let the fair

young reader ponder the sequel ! Mrs. W., I am in-

formed, lived an unhappy life, and poor W. descended

to, a drunl<anVs grave.

CHAPTER XVIII.

Court Scenes, and Moonshine Incidents andAnecdotes,

RAIDING moonshiners enables one to meet with

all of Dickens' characters, and with a great

many more that observant writer overlooked. Theyembrace all classes of men and women, and whenyou get back into the mountains they are seem-

ingly a race peculiar to themselves. Court days are

the occasions when they usually congregate. I have

seen as many as eight hundred of these rough moun-taineers in attendance upon the United States Court

at one time. This, however, is an unusually large

number to find at one court, and would not have oc-

curred in this instance had it not been for an offer of

pardon by the Attorney General of the United States,

extended to all violators of revenue laws in certain

State-:, up to that particular time. The idea of being

forgiven for past crimes upon the mere promise of

good behavior in the future, was too good an opportu-

nity to be lost, hence the multitude that thronged the

United States court room at Nashville, Tenn., in the

spring of 1879, who came to have their moonshine

sins forgiven.

The average moonshiner dresses in homespun, has

long hair, has meal and still-beer on his clothing, andrarely, if ever, cleans himself up or tries to look neat

and comely. The witnesses are usually of the sameclass; and when a hundred or two of these odd look-

150 AFTER THE MOONSHINERS.

ing characters fill up a court room, waiting for their

cases to be called, they present an unsightly, not to

say ludicrous, appearance.

While these parties are roughly clad, are uncul-

tured, and know but little of the ways of the world,

many of them possess an unusual amount of native

good sense, and appear in court as their own counsel-

lors, managing their own cases shrewdly, and often

successfully. I call to mind the case of a Baptist

preacher who was brought into court on the charge of

illicit distilling, and for bartering "the ardent" also.

The old gentleman appeared greatly surprised that

a minister of the gospel should be arrested and dragged

into court, for no other offence than making a little

liquor for medicine. He was a man of considerable

property, and knowing himself to be guilty, and fear-

ing that the court might convict him, he brought

S700 along with him, bat was shrewd enough to let

no one about the court house know he had that muchmoney. When he reached the city of L ,

where

the United States Court w^as in session, he enquired

of the marshal if he knew of a prominent Baptist

layman to whom he could be introduced. The mar-

shal responded in the affirmative and took his rever-

ence around and gave him the desired introduction.

The sequel showed that at this interview our minis-

terial brother asked the other, the layman, to take

care of the $700 until he would call for it—being

careful, business like, to take a receipt for the money.Then the old psalm singer went into court and took

his seat among the lawyers at the bar. When his

case was called, the old man arose to his feet, with the

ejaculation, "Your honor, I am the man." His man-ner and appearance attracted general attention. Feel-

ing in his pockets for his spectacles, and finding he

COURT SCENES, AND *MOONSHINE INCIDENTS. 151

had left them at home, after looking around the court

room, he turned to the judge and exclaimed :" Jedge,

I see you are a man about my age, will you be kind

enough to loan me your specks for a few minutes."

The effrontery of the old parson created general mer-

riment, and while the court and bar were enjoying a

hearty laugh, the judge sent his spectacles to the old

moonshiner by a bailiff. Holding up the glasses and

while rubbing them vigorously with a faded cotton

handkerchief, he proceeded to remark :" Jedge, them's

mighty nice lookin' specks. They are yaller and look

as though they mout be gold. Are they gold or brass,

jedge?" Here the excitement was intense, and ail in

the court room were laughing. But the parson was not

the least disturbed. After adjusting the glasses prop-

erly, he picked up a book and began to scan its pages.

His uncouth actions and the sublimity of effrontery

which he displayed, brought down the house. Again

he turned to the judge, and remarked "Jedge, these is

fine specks, but they are a little too young forme;

and I'm sure I wouldn't thought so, seein' as how you

are so gray headed; but gray hairs is not allers a sign

of age. There's my old woman, she's whiter headed

nor you are, jedge, and she's ten year younger nor me,

so you see that's no sign. [Renewed laughter, and

cries of 'order,' by the judge.] Now, jedge, if you

wall let me see what you say agin me in your war-

rant, I'll tell you what I've got to say about it."

[Applause.]

The district attorney produced the indictment, and

the old parson began reading it aloud, and comment-ing upon it as he proceeded. After he had read it all

through, he threw it upon the table in front of him,

and made the following statement to the court:

"Jedge, that paper says I carried on the business of a

152 AFTER THE MOONSHINERS.

distiller, and the business of a retail liquor dealer,

when I tell your honor that I did no such thing. Mybusiness is farmin'duren the week days, and preachin'

on Sundays, and now I would like for you to tell me,

when I have spent all my time as I've been tellen

you, how I could carry on them two other kinds of

business what that paper says I do. [Laughter.] If

I do all that, jedge, I must be an unusual kind of a

man, musn'tl? [Laughter.] Now, I tell you what.

I have done—no more, no less—and I am tellen of the

truth, too. I just made two runs* last fall and one

run of peppermint in Jannywary, and in them three

runs I didn't make over thirty gallon in all, and it

was for medicine, too. One of the gals in the neigh-

borhood was sick with the breast complaint,f and an-

other one was down with the yaller janders, and I

wouldn't of made the runs I tell you about if it hadn't

been on their account. Now, them's the facts, as Godis my jedge." [Applause.] Here the old man rested

his case.

The judge asked the old parson if he were to be

lenient with him for this, his first offense, whether he

would be guilty of anything of the kind in the future.

The minister responded in the negative. The judge

then asked him if he could pay a fine of $100 and the

costs of the suit? The old parson, after hummingand hawing a while, said he would go down street

and see brother W (the party with whom he hadleft his 1700), and perhaps he could raise the money.So out he v/ent, and in a few minutes ^vas back in

court, paid the 8100, and was discharged from custod3^

A HEX PECKED HUSBAND.

In the city of L a tall, lean, homely looking

*A " rim " is the i-roduct of one doubling. fCousumption.

COURT SCENES, AND MOONSHINE INCIDENTS. 153

old man, perhaps sixty years of age, was brought be-

fore the United States court, on a charge of illicit

distilling. While he looked the back-woods-man in

every particular and had the mien of a moonshiner,

still there was an air of innocence which cropped out

of the old fellow's countenance which would lead the

correct judge of human character to conclude that

perhaps, after all, he was not guilty. His appear-

ance, therefore, at once attracted sympathy.

His case was called, and the court, as is usual in all

cases, asked the party whether he was guilty or not

guilty ? The old man arose, and in a calm, dignified,

and most serious manner, addressed the court as fol-

lows : "Well, judge, your question is plain, and I

am goen to answer it plain. You ask if I am guilty

of runnen of a still. I answer, in the eyes of the

law I am guilty, but in pint of fact I am not anymore guilty than you are yourself." This statement

created somewhat of a sensation, and the judge called

on the prisoner to explain what he meant. The old

gentleman proceeded, " What I mean by being guilty

in the eyes of the law is this: I was a widower, and

m}" present wife was a widow, and w'e got married.

I ow^ned no property', and she owned the property

where we now live. Before we got married, she had

a lawj'cr draw up a marriage contract, so she could' hold all her property and manage it herself. And I

tell you she manages everything about that place. Shehad two grown up boys, and about a year ago they

bought a still, and have been a runnen of it ever

since on our place. And I suppose that would makeme guilty, as the head of the family, in the eyes of

the law. But I tell you, judge, I never had any moreto do with the stillen than a stray dog on a planta-

tion. [Laughter.] When I'm at home I'm nothen

154 AFTER THE MOONSHINERS.t

but a kind of a jim-hand, and I tell you, judge, I

have done nothen wrong. Still I suppose that in the

ej'es of the law you can make me suffer for the boys

runnen of the still."

The old man's speech was so child-like and simple

that he impressed every one who heard him with the

belief that he was nothing but a hen pecked husband,

and that if justice were to be meted out to any one

in that particular household, the old lady would have

to be sent for. The prisoner was promptl}^ discharged.

A DEPUTY MARSHAL NONPLUSSED.

In Allen count}^, in the State of , two broth-

ers lived upon the same creek, and were almost iden-.

tically alike in dress, manners and appearance. Oneof them, however, was wild and reckless and con-

stantly in trouble; while the other, although not as

exemplary as he might have been, still he was a de-

cided improvement upon his younger brother.

The more reckless one had been connected with a

moonshine distillery, and the informant who reported

the case to the Government authorities could not re-

member the given name of the young man, remark-

ing, however, that he wore a wig. So the warrant

was simply issued for Sanders.

The marshal proceeded at once to the neighborhood

of the two Sanders brothers, and calling upon one of

them, began a conversation with him, hoping to find

out whether this was the one he w^anted, before he

made his business known.The following colloquy thereupon took place. The

marshal began by saying, "Your name is Sanders, I

believe."

" That is my name, sir."

COURT SCENES, AND MOONSHINE INCIDENTS. 155

''But there are two of you of that name here in

this neighborhood."

1' Yes."" Well, I wish to see the Mr. Sanders, excuse me for

the allusion, who wears a wig."

" We both were Whigs, sir."

"Well, the man I seek was divorced from his wife

not long ago."

" There you hit us both again, sir."

''The man whom I want to see has recently been

accused of forgery—though, I trust, unjustly."

"There we are again, my dear sir. We have both

had the insinuation laid at our doors."

"Well, upon my word, you two brothers bear a

striking resemblance. But I guess I have it now.

The one I am after is occasionally in the habit of

drinking to excess—some times to intoxication."

"My dear man, that vice is, unfortunately, charac-

teristic of the pair of us, and I doubt if our best

friends could tell you which was the worst."

" Well, you are a matched pair, certainly. But tell

me," continued the marshal, " which of the twain it

was that took the poor debtor's oath a few monthsago."

"Ha, ha, we were both in that muddle. I was on

Bob's papers, and he was on mine."" In mercy's name," cried the marshal, desper-

ately, " will you tell me which of the two is the moresensible man."

"Ah, there you touch bottom, my friend. Poor

Bob, I can't stretch the truth, even to serve a brother.

If you want the more sensible man of the two, I sup-

pose I must acknowledge the corn, I'm the man."He was the man ; the marshal therefore took him

into custody, and the laconic young gentleman was

156 AFTER THE MOONSHINERS. .

found guilty and was sentenced to jail for five

months.

"no, you can't get sallie !

"

One, Gus, Pursley by name, had been dodging for a

number of weeks, from State officials, being charged

with robbing the store of James McCarver, in one of

the mountain counties of Tennessee. Seeing no other

means of safety than to leave the State, and having

previously w^ooed a fair damsel of the wild woods by

the name of Sample, Pursley determined to skip out,

and take the young lady with him ; but the old folks

said " No, Gus, you can't get Sallie." Being a skilful

thief, as McCarver charged upon Pursley, Gus decided

to steal the girl. The parents, however, held out deter-

minedly, and said, "You can't git 'er, Gus." There-

upon Gus and the old man had a set- too, to settle the

rightful ownership of the girl. While the battle was

raging between the tw^o belligerents, Capt. Davis and

Campbell Morgan hove in siglit, in search of Robert

Clifton, a wild-catter of considerable note. The afore-

said father, thinking it was Parsley's friends, coming

to carry off the girl, left the house and ran down the

hollow, with the young lady's wardrobe under his

arm, while the old lady stood in the door, and

screamed at the top of her voice, " run, John, run !

"

Pursley, seized with a fit of terror, thinking it was

the sheriff, with a State's writ for him, struck for tall

timber, as the voice of his sweet-heart rang out upon

the air, "run, Gus, run!" Presuming him to be

Clifton, the man for whom he had a warrant, Morgansoon overhauled Mr. Sample, who was fleeing downthe creek, with the wedding troitsscau, but Capt. Davis,

having a prisoner in charge, could not pursue Gus, so

he made good his escape, though minus the " Sample "

oP

WH

O

Q

O

wH1^OPi

WQ<w

HCmO

COURT SCENES, AND MOONSHINE INCIDENTS. 157

upon which his heart was set, and for whom he hadfought, and bled, and had run this race for life.

The young lady was, however, happy, since "you'uns

failed to ketch Gus."

THE SURPRISE OF A JUDGE.

The late Bland Ballard, Judge of the United States

District Court in Kentucky, was a gentleman, a

scholar, learned in the law, and a keen observer of hu-

man nature. He was, however, too full of the milk of

human kindnes's to punish many of the moonshiners

who were arraigned before him, as severely as their

guilt called for, and as the gccd of the service de-

manded. One to see him on the bench, and observe

his grand, good-natured face, could not but be re-

minded of an expression made by Pei'icles, morethan a thousand years ago, " God forbid that I should

ever be placed in such a position that I would be com-pelled to treat my friends as I should my enemies.'^

Judge Ballard in Court, though he alwa3's saw the

sunny-side first, .had no favorites, and treated all

alike.

One day in his court, after the case of a Cumberlandcounty moonshiner had been tried, and the prisoner

sentenced to pay a fine of $100, and be imprisonedsixty days. Judge Ballard remarked to the man, " Mr.

S , I am afraid, that after paying this fine andserving out your imprisonment, you will start yourstill again." The prisoner paid ihe strictest attention

to the Judge's remarks, and responded, "Judge, if I

ever make any more moonshine whisky, I'll send youa keg of it." The convict was then taken away by themarshal, and the Judge thought no more of the matter.

Some six months thereafter, an express package wasdelivered at Judge Ballard's house, prepaid. When

14

158 AFTER THE MOONSHINEES.

opened it was found to be a five gallon keg of superior

moonshine whisky. The address-tag had these words

written upon it, " To Judge Ballard, Louisville. Com-

pliments of James S , of Cumberland county,

Kentucky." The. Judge at once remembered the

moonshiner's promise to him, ordered the spirits to be

poured upon the ground, remarking, good-humoredly,

that untaxpaid spirits would destroy the health of the

Court.A FEMALE HEROINE.

In the month of May, 1881, Susan Vanmeter, a

dashing young widow, who resides in the wilds of Ed-

monson county, was arrested and brought before

Judge Barr, at Louisville, not for moonshining, but

for shooting at Deputy Marshal W. L. Stotts, while he

was attempting to arrest her paramour, the notorious

John Mclntyre. She is on the sunny side of thirty,

is vivacious and well formed. While on trial in the

court room, she wore a neat fitting black dress and

clean white apron. She has a thick heavy suit of

black curly hair, well formed features, very black,

glittering, snaky eyes, rather an intellectual forehead,

and when giving in her testimony, she, in a very

peculiar manner, would stand on one foot, and at

intervals, would spit tobacco juice at flies on the floor

in front of her. She is the true type of a half-refined,

uneducated country woman, the possessor of unbound-

ed will-power and courage, which would render her

famous even in the Black Hills.

When questioned as to the shooting afl*ray which

caused her arrest, she stated that she took a level aim

at the officer, with a rifle, and succeeded, she was glad

to say, in knocking the splinters in his face from the

fence rails behind which the officer was concealed.

The Judge asked her the direct question, whether she

COURT SCENES, AND MOONSHINE INCIDENTS. 159

shot with intent to kill, or merely attempted to

frighten the officer ? Her prompt reply was :" Of

course I tried to kill him, and am only sorry that I

failed. He was after John (meaning her paramour),

and I knew he would catch him; and I love John

well enough to die for him. I'll fight for him any

time, and I tell you, Judge, if I'd used the good gunI'd a fetched him ; but John had the good one at the

still-house, and the one I used was no good. It snap-

ped twice before it went off, and it don't shoot straight

neither."

In the Nolin river settlement of Edmonson county,

where she resides, Susan Vanmeter, the " widder," as

she is familiarly called b}^ the natives, is considered a

dead shot at a target match ; and when out on a hunt,

it is said, she will not carry squirrels home unless

they are shot through the head. Among the rough

moonshiners of the mountains, she is both feared andrespected. She has many times served as spy for JohnMclntyre, and on one occasion came near losing her

life by carrying news to him of the approach of Gov-ernment officers. Only a few months before she wasarrested, Deputy Marshal P. S. Morris, at the head of

a posse of men, surrounded the house at midnight

where she was then living, for the purpose of captur-

ing an illicit distiller, who was supposed to be in the

building. Susan, it seems, was sleeping with one eye

open, and hearing the approach of the officers, she

leaped from a second-story window in her night-

clothes, and before the officers could surround the

house, she escaped and ran two miles distant to her

paramour's distillery to inform him that the "rev-

enues " were after him. Of course John Mclntyre wasnot arrested that night. I have frequently heard it

stated, as a fact, that this woman can lie with her