1 Production cost 50p A voluntary contribution is gratefully received

“Jack’s Fractured English: Part 2”………………..! “Church in Devon 1100 yrs old”……………….! “Another Great Rock School”………..………!

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Services in May and the beginning of June 2009 MAY Sun 3rd 8.00am Holy Communion (BCP said) 10.00am Morning Prayer 6.00pm Youth Praise Wed 6th 10.30am Holy Communion (BCP said) Sun 10th 10.00am Family Communion with Archdeacon Penelope Driver Crèche and Junior Church and 11+ in school Sun 17th 8.00am Holy Communion (BCP said) Rogation Sunday 10.00am Family Service 6.00pm Evening Prayer (BCP sung) Thurs 21st 9.15am Ascension Day Eucharist (combined Mrs Ethelstons School and community)

Sun 24th 10.00am Parish Communion Crèche, Junior Church and 11+ in school 31st May 10.00am Morning Prayer (Common Worship) Pentecost/Whit Sunday JUNE Wed 3rd 10.30am Holy Communion (BCP said) Sun 7th 8.00am Holy Communion (BCP said) 10.00am Morning Prayer 6.00pm Youth Praise Sun 14th 10.00am Family Communion

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CONTENTS

April & early May Service times Inside front cover Contents & Parish News Notice 1 Fractured English—Jack Thomas 2 Message from the magazine 3 Horticultural Society & Si-the-fish 4 Royal British Leg Womens’ Section & Save the Albatross 5 Out and About with John Pennington 6 A Poem submitted by Iris Cox 7 News from Mrs Ethelstons 8 The Church in Devon is 1100 yrs old 9 The Full Poodle computer tips 10 Uplyme WI & Mothers Union reports 11 Uplyme Pre-School & Axminster Police 12 Laugh Lines & April Crossword Answers 13 Village Hall Booking Dates 14 Village Hall Booking Dates & Village Fete 15 Rock School April ‘09 16 Local Notices 17 Christian Aid 18 Parish Council Report 19 Crossword 20 Adverts & Local Information Inside back cover From the register & Church Officers Back cover

Parish News Deadlines

Please remember the next issue of the magazine is for JUNE and all articles up to and including things in early May should be

with us by the 10th MAY The best way to get things to us is by email to: parishnews@uplymechurch.org.uk

Or leave in the pigeon hole in Church under “H” for my attention. Robin Hodges

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Fractured English – 2

For 35 years I had the pleasure of teaching Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton and other great English writers to ‘A’ Level candidates. I taught literature – the works of major playwrights, poets and novel-ists. I hope I imbued my pupils with enthusiasm and respect for the glories of the King James Bible, the Book of Common Prayer, the incomparable prose styles of Shakespeare, John Donne, Dean Swift or Robert Louis Stevenson; the love of the poetry of John Donne, Gerald Manly Hopkins and Thomas Hardy; the plays of Shake-speare, Synge and Arthur Miller; the novels of Jane Austen, E.M.Forster, Thackeray and a host of others. In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I about 6 million people spoke Eng-lish. Today in Queen Elizabeth II’s reign, 250 million speak English as their first language, 100 million as their second language. Our glorious English is a mongrel language, thank God, whose rules are arcane, flexible and Protean (in that they are for ever changing). Here are some common solecisms which I find irritating: At this point in time. How about now? It is better to use one word rather than five. Presently. Does this word mean now (as Shakespeare and modern Americans use it) or soon (as most English use it)? Presently is am-biguous presently. Having said that. This expression rates 95 on the Yuk scale. It is a Latin construction called the ablative absolute and should be avoided like the Black Death (unless you speak Latin). Why not try However? At the end of the day. I heard an EDDC Councillor at Knowle, Sidmouth, say “At the end of the day in four or five years’ time, people in Uplyme will wonder what all the fuss was about.” That is certainly a long day! How about using in the long run? Like I said. Oh dear, this is 80 on the Yuk scale. Should be as I said. (like should be followed by a noun or phrase; as by a verb or clause). Blame Marlboro cigarettes for their 1950’s slogan Winston Tastes Good Like A Cigarette Should. The apostrophe is a minefield which regularly blows up all green-

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grocers and others at some time or other. You can find Tomato’es and cucumber’s in Lyme or Axminster. I have even seen Obje’t darts in an antique shop. While we are about it, there is at Oxford a Queen’s College (founded by one Queen) and at Cambridge we have Queens’ College (founded by two Queens). Got it? Fillers – like, basically, er (English), aim (Glaswegian), well, hope-fully, I mean, you know, – meaningless padding which many sprin-kle liberally throughout their sentences. Jack Thomas (retired grammarian)

MESSAGE FROM THE MAGAZINE Parish News Distributor We are still in urgent need of a distributor to 25 houses in Yawl Hill Lane. This would require 10 monthly deliveries. If you can help, we would be very grateful. Please contact David Coates on 01297 445283 Parish News Availability If for any reason we cannot or do not deliver the Parish News to your house, copies can always be obtained from the following:

the racks in the Church Porch Uplyme Post office Through the post by application to Mrs Audrey Corby (01297 443740)

No-one need be without a “Parish News”

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Uplyme & Lyme Regis Horticultural Society March 25th saw a well attended talk and slide show, on show-ing and growing Sweet Peas given by gold award winners Phil and Kerton of Kerton Sweet Peas of Bridgewater. They had on hand a large selection of seedling and seeds from their nursery, which quickly sold out. Also on sale were a undisclosed variety of Fuchsia seedling, provided by chairman Jenny Harding, for members to grow on for the competition class in the July 18th Summer Show.

The talk was preceded by the Society’s Annual General Meeting, which was mainly taken up by a proposal to change the name of the Society. However after much discussion and the reading of letters from members who were unable to attend the meeting, a vote by a show of hands was taken which revealed that the majority were in favour of retaining the Society’s current title

Dates for your Diary: May 6th 2009 evening visit to Little Ash Farm, Fenny Bridge. In shared car leaving the village hall car park at 5.45pm. Please ring Brian 07831 533580 by Friday 1st May to confirm your place.

Saturday 9th May 10am to 12.30 pm Spring Bring & Buy Plant Sale & Coffee Morning, at the Village Hall. Donations of plants will be accepted from 8am at the hall on the morning of the sale. Details of the Society’s events are posted in the display case

outside Uplyme Post Office or by ringing Brian on 07831 533580 Brian Cursley

Si-the-fish

The biggest fishy event for a long time takes place this month folks. On Bank Holiday Monday- 25th of May; the day after our fossil festival 'Evolution Rocks', we take over the mar-quee on the beach and hold 'Fish Rocks', Lyme's newest festi-val! Put together by the same organisers as the Eat Dorset Food Fayre, Jenny and Annette will do their utmost to make

this the premier event for Lyme Regis.

Weather permitting; we'll have a nice counter on and you'll be able to meet all-sorts of local suppliers there too. We look forward to seeing you! Simon Bennett - mobile 07815 528020

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ROYAL BRITISH LEGION WOMEN'S SECTION - UPLYME BRANCH We were treated this month to a visit from a Labrador puppy called Naylor, who is being trained as guide dog for the blind. He brought with him his trainer, Mrs.

West. This admirable lady has been involved with the Guide Dogs for the Blind Association for many years and has trained about twenty one dogs in her time. Her talk was illuminating and amusing; all the dogs had very dif-ferent personalities. She had a wealth of stories about them - how some were very laid back, and some raring to go all the time. Over the years, the Association has found that the best dogs are probably Labrador /retriever crosses, but many other breeds are also used, some of them very successfully. The least 'value for money', as she put it, are Alsa-tians or German Shepherds. They seem to take much longer to train and have a shorter life span than the others, so they are not used so much. The Association now breeds their own dogs, and farms them out to people such as Mrs. West who train them for about six months to a year. During this time they are assessed to see if they are suitable for the work. Some have health problems which would prevent them being given to a blind person and would, if suitable be sent to stud. She told many tales of how a dog can change a blind person's life in so many ways and how rewarding it is for her to see this happen. Although only four months old, Naylor behaved impeccably and we were all sorry to see him go.

The 1st Lym Valley Cubs "Save the Albatross" campaign. The 1st Lym Valley Cubs continue to save stamps for the "Save the Albatross" campaign. Please save your stamps and post in the box at the back of the church, or in the box in the village post office. If possible, please separate UK and foreign stamps when you give them to us. You do not have to steam the stamp from the enve-lope, just tear off the corner with the stamp and pop it into the boxes Thank you from both the Cubs and the albatrosses For more information visit www.savethealbatross.net

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Out & About With JP If there's one colour that defines England, it’s green. There are plenty of other temperate countries, but none so verdant. It’s the most prominent colour from the air and its intensity is rarely matched in any other country in my experience. Whenever I fly back to the UK it’s lovely to look out of the window onto England's green and pleasant land. At this time of year when trees have new leaves and grasses are growing you get treated to an almost electric green - especially after rainfall when the sun comes out. If I moved abroad (no plans currently, but never say never!) I think the colour of the landscape is what I would miss the most. So, now is the best time to see verdant England or more specifically verdant Uplyme in all its glory. A walk along its leafy lanes will reward you with not only every shade of green, but some lovely spring flowers and maybe some wildlife too. I recently went for a walk along Rhode Lane and up past Rhode Hill ending up looking down to Lyme (see 'Out and About' episode 1 for a full summary of the route - out of print now, but I'm sure if you ask the editor nicely he'd get you a copy! Or check out the archive section on the Uplyme website!

www.uplyme.com). On route I spotted a weasel, a fox and a couple of deer. But best of all were sev-eral old oak trees coming into leaf. They really are the most majestic trees and my favourite of the na-tive English species.

I am currently bidding on a postcard of Uplyme on EBay that describes the street scene as 'Fore St'. This is the main road through Uplyme that most people these days describe as Lyme Road. Being a relative newcomer to the area (only 30 years) I am unfamiliar with this name and wondered if there are any other streets in Uplyme that have little known (or now ex-tinct), names. It is interesting how names change over the years and if not documented are soon forgotten. If I am the successful bidder for this post-card I will include it next month for all to see. If anyone has any old post-cards of Uplyme they would like to sell please get in contact with me as I am a keen buyer, especially any involving social history or areas of the village that have changed significantly. Until next time.... JP

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A POEM, SUBMITTED BY IRIS COX Chocolates One day some people were visiting Chekhov While they made remarks about his genius. The master fidgeted. Finally He said 'Do you like chocolates? They were astonished and silent He repeated the question, Whereupon one lady plucked up her courage and murmured shyly 'Yes'

'Tell me' he said leaning forward Light glinting from his spectacles, 'What kind? The light sweet chocolate or the dark bitter kind?'

The conversation became general, They spoke of cherry centres Of almonds and brazil nuts, Losing their inhibitions They interrupted one another, For people may not know what they think About politics in the Balkans Or the vexed question of men and women But everyone has a definite opinion About the flavour of shredded coconut. Finally someone spoke of chocolates filled with liqueur And everyone, even the author of Uncle Vanya Was at a loss for words. When they were leaving he stood by the door And took their hands. In the coach returning to Petersburg they agreed that it had been a most unusual conversation. Louis Simpson

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Mrs Ethelstons School

The Primary School League tables were published ear-lier this week and, based on results, Mrs Ethelstons is the top school in Devon! We are thrilled that our hard work has been acknowledged and it is a testament to the efforts of our children, staff parents, governors and the

wider community that we have achieved this. However, a good school is much more than just excellent results and an Outstanding Ofsted inspection. We offer a full and active curriculum which develops confident and fulfilled children who enjoy learning. This can be seen by the many activities that happen in our school each week. There is always something going on! At the end of the last term Mr Mark Brown resigned from his post with us and will now be the Head teacher at St Marys RC Primary School, Axminster. We are very sorry to lose him, but wish him every success in his new post. We held our Eucharist for Ash Wednesday in Church with the congregation. It was a great opportunity for us to worship together and for the children to share the ser-vice with the local community. We also held an Easter service with each class per-forming a song about the joy of Easter. It was very well supported by parents and the local community and the children gave confident performances. You may have seen some photos of the children in the local press from our Invad-ers and Settlers day. The children dressed as Romans, Anglo Saxons, and Vikings and took part in a variety of activities from making Roman jewellery to Saxon weav-ing. The children learnt such a lot about history as well as working with each other. On the sporting front, our teams go from strength to strength. The football team became South West region runners up, narrowly missing a place in the National final at Wembley, and our tag rugby team won the West Dorset Championship and now go on to the Dorset Championships. Our swimmers from year 3 and 4 also won the Axe Valley Schools gala at the Flamingo pool. We try to provide our chil-dren with as many sporting opportunities as possible, in spite of our limited facili-ties. Next term we will be having coaching for gymnastics, cricket and golf, and we hope that some children will follow up these sports in later life. It is important that our children develop healthy lifestyles and enjoy physical activity. As we begin the Summer term we are hoping for good weather. We have many activities planned already, and have even moved our sports day to June in the hope that it might be dry as we have missed it for the last 2 years! This term we will be looking at life in a variety of other countries throughout the world, culminating in an International Day. Please read our newsletter for more details of events this term! Andrea Rice Head teacher

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The Church in Devon is 1100 years old

This year we are celebrating the establishment of the diocese of Exeter in 909.

At the beginning of the 10th Century the Saxon Church was pretty well established. Throughout the seventh and eighth centuries a mission from Rome, led first by Augustine of Canterbury, spread west and north. At first this was not without some conflict, but then working with the indigenous Celtic churches, Anglo-Saxon Eng-land gradually became Christian. Areas of the country were, as they still are, or-ganised into dioceses under the care of a diocesan bishop. At the beginning of the 10th century, a bishop called Aldhem, based in Sherborne in Dorset, was trying to care for the whole of the western half of Wessex. For some time it has been realised this was far too big an area for one man. Already a bishop had been established in St German’s to look after Cornwall, and more re-cently the Bishop of St David’s in Wales had been asked to take some of the re-sponsibility for Devon, but that didn’t work well either. So finally in 909, Aldhem sent out two new bishops, one of whom called Eadwulf went to Crediton. He was the first man to take proper episcopal care of the Chris-tian church in Devon. So, for 1100 years, first based in Crediton and then from 1050 in Exeter, we have had a bishop and a diocesan structure in Devon for Devon – working to build the Kingdom of Heaven in Devon. We think that needs to be celebrated. We hope many of you will join us in doing so.

Events to mark 1100th anniversary have already begun. In April the Bishop of Plymouth, the Dean of Exe-ter Cathedral and a group of young people walked from Sherburne to Crediton. Their journey took them to Uplyme where in a packed church they shared in our normal Youth Praise service and stayed on for supper. Whether Eadwulf would have known any of the worship songs is doubtful but we were worshipping the same Lord as he worshipped.

The main celebrations will over the weekend of 26/28th June, when the Archbishop of Canterbury will be in Devon. On Friday 26th ,there is a big Youth event at the Cathedral’s Night Church. On the Saturday, people from all across Devon will gather to thank God for 1100 years of continuous witness to the Love of God. There will be an open air Eucharist (Communion Service) outside the Cathedral at which the Archbishop will preach. The day culminates in a Songs of Praise-type service. It promises to be a great day, do be there! Don Draper

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DON’T TRUST LYNX with The Full Poodle – 443819 A wolf in sheep’s clothing pretending to be some-thing it isn’t has nothing on the average lynx - es-pecially the new computer literate breed with their sophisticated Blackberries so they can pick up their emails anywhere whilst remaining hidden ...

Expert at dis-guise, lynx arrive buried in a genu-ine looking email, DO NOT CLICK ON LINKS IN EMAILS

especially if they claim to come from your bank. Always check the true source of the email by right-clicking on the email to bring up a mini-menu and go down to Properties. Then click on the “Details” tab to see its origin – in this example, a very genuine looking Alliance & Leicester email comes from a dodgy Hotmail ad-dress – it is a scam. By following the link and com-pleting the form with pass-word, you would be giving a stranger access to your private bank details. Even if you think the message is genuine, it is better to go to your bank’s website through the Internet, typ-

ing in the whole address yourself. Keep your bank details secure from the less savoury elements of society. STAY SAFE ... IT’S A JUNGLE OUT THERE! Margaret Wiscombe

The Full Poodle, Computer Repair & Training. www.thefullpoodle.com

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Uplyme WI Vice President, Mrs. Sue Kennedy, welcomed members and visitors to our 85th Birthday meeting. A birthday posy was pre-sented. Following the Business meeting, the members enjoyed a social afternoon with competitions and quizzes. Sylvia Dark

won the flower of the month competition with a hyacinth, and the Hot Cross buns made from a recipe competition was won by Joan Cool. The members then enjoyed a musical quiz, guessing radio and TV theme tunes, with not TOO much cheating! Betty Wood had made a delicious iced Birthday cake and a slice of this, plus tea and chocolate biscuits, re-vived the members. There followed a photo competition of scenes from Lyme Regis, taken from unusual angles, before what was a very pleasant afternoon ended. The next meeting will be on May 13th at 2.30pm in the Village Hall. The WI resolution will be discussed and there will be a Beetle Drive, or more accu-rately a "Plant" drive! Visitors are always welcome. Fay Whitefield

MOTHERS UNION For our meeting last month we visited Job-blehayes Farm at Southleigh to see the

ewes being milked. Connie Hart-noll, the farmer's wife, had invited us when she was our guest speaker. The farm had moved from beef cattle to sheep and now the ewes milk is sent to Dorchester, where it is made into yoghurt. We watched the orderly queuing of the ewes waiting to be milked and the baby lambs penned in a huge barn. The farm is organic; there were chickens in the fields. the sun shone and the whole place was heavenly. Iris Cox

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At the end of last term the chil-dren from the pre-school en-joyed celebrating Easter; the young lady in the photo is

showing you some of the cards and crafts they made. The children had a visit from Donna’s new baby chickens and held an Easter Celebration where they sang Easter songs and ran egg end spoon races! The children also enjoyed a lovely walk to the viaduct, the weather stayed fine and the children were able to have their fruit snack as a picnic there. On the way there they were able to look out for Spring flowers and wildlife which they had been talking about in the sessions. They have also been making daffodils and snowdrops from egg cartons.

We are all looking forward to a busy summer term, when we will be holding sports day and our annual visit to Pecorama. We have a limited number of sessions avail-able for the summer term, if you are inter-ested in sending your child to us please con-tact:

Annie Thurgood on 01297 24318

Message from Axminster Police Station Be Safe.....Not sorry......keep valuables out of sight There has been a spate of theft from motor vehicles in our area. Some vehicles have been left insecure, and some people have left valuables on show. It takes a matter of seconds for a criminal to cause damage and make off with your posses-sions. It takes only seconds for you to secure your vehicle. Remember:

Lock your vehicle Close windows and doors Remove all traces of valuables Choose a safe place to park your vehicle

PCSO 30200 Amanda Jones - Axminster Police Station - 01297 34089

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APRIL CROSSWORD ANSWERS

ACROSS: 1, Lawbreakers. 9, Neglect. 10, Reign. 11, Sit. 13, Idly. 16, Abel. 17, Agreed. 18, Hawk. 20, Swim. 21, Advise. 22, Esau. 23, Arts. 25, Bet. 28, Usher. 29, Hittite. 30, Trustworthy. DOWN: 2, Angel. 3, Bled. 4, Eats. 5, Kurt. 6, Rainbow. 7, Unrighteous. 8, Unblemished. 12, Irenic. 14, Yak. 15, Grudge. 19, Weather. 20, Sea. 24, Reith. 25, Bros. 26, Thaw. 27, Stir.

In these recession ridden times...

What's the capital of Iceland? About 10 krona. How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon. What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The pizza can still feed a family of four. What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? The pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari. The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed. Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers. What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything? A quarter-pounder with fries, please. As a surprise, a chief exec's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating: "and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair." Www.parishpump.co.uk

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MAY 2009 Friday 1 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-4.30pm School Saturday 2 May 1.00pm-11.00pm Private hire Sunday 3 May 9.30am-11.30am Quakers Tuesday 5 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-3.30pm Toddlers 4.00pm-6.00pm Tai Chi 7.30pm Social Club Meeting Room 7.30pm VH Committee Wednesday 6 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 1.00pm-5.00pm Patchwork Grp 5.15pm-7.15pm BP Scouts Thursday 7 May 9.30am-4.00pm School 4.00pm-6.30pm Ballet Friday 8 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-4.30pm School Saturday 9 May 8.30pm-12.00pm Hort. Soc. Sale 6.30pm-11.00pm Mainly Ballrm Sunday 10 May 9.30am-11.30am Quakers Monday 11 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 2.00pm-4.30pm Royal Brit Legion 5.30pm-7.00pm Brownies 7.30pm Short Mat Bowls Meeting Room 7.30pm Horticultural Soc Tuesday 12 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-3.30pm Toddlers 4.00pm-6.00pm Tai Chi

7.30pm Social Club Meeting Room 7.30pm Pre-School com-mittee Wednesday 13 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 2.00pm-4.30pm WI 4.45pm-6.45pm BP Scouts 7.00pm-10.00pm Parish Council Thursday 14 May 9.30am-4.00pm School 4.00pm-6.30pm Ballet Friday 15 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-4.30pm School Saturday 16 May 4.00pm-midnight Private hire Sunday 17 May 9.30am-11.30am Quakers Changing Rooms 4.00pm-8.00pm Private hire Monday 18 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 5.30pm-7.00pm Brownies 7.30pm Short Mat Bowls Tuesday 19 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-3.30pm Toddlers 4.00pm-6.00pm Tai Chi 7.30pm Social Club Wednesday 20 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 4.45pm-6.45pm BP Scouts Thursday 21 May 9.30am-4.00pm School 4.00pm-6.30pm Ballet Friday 22 May 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-4.30pm School Saturday 23May 10.00am-12.30pm Private hire

Village Hall Booking dates for May & Early June 2009

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2.00pm-6.00pm Private hire 6.30pm-11.00pm Mainly Ballroom Sunday 24 May 9.30am-11.30am Quakers 2.30pm-6.00pm Community Playrs Friday 29 May 2.00pm onwards Private hire Saturday 30 May All day to midnight Private hire Sunday 31 May 9.30am-11.30am Quakers 2.30pm-6.00pm Community Playrs JUNE Monday 1 June 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 5.30pm-7.00pm Brownies 7.30pm Short Mat Bowls Meeting Room 7.30pm Horticultural Soc Tuesday 2 June 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-3.30pm Toddlers 4.00pm-6.00pm Tai Chi 7.30pm-10.00pm Community Playr Meeting Room 7.30pm VH Committee Wednesday 3 June 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 1.30pm-4.30pm Patchwork Group 4.45pm-6.45pm BP Scouts Thursday 4 June 6.15am-midnight EDDC Polling stn Friday 5 June 9.00am-12.15pm Pre-School 12.15pm-4.30pm School These booking times are not neces-sarily start times of events - please see other publicity. For bookings & enquiries about the Village Hall please contact : Margaret Wiscombe, Hall Manager, on 01297 443819.

Uplyme Village Fete Saturday 13th June at 2pm

Starting as usual with the proces-sion from Mrs Ethelston's at 1.45pm, this years Fete will be opened by Roger Grose, ex-headteacher of our local Primary School. The competition to choose a Fete Princess, Page and attendant is open to local children aged 11 years and under, who submit a Photograph of "Life in Uplyme". Prizes for those chosen, who also get to ride in a vintage Bentley in the procession. Photos to be sub-mitted by 1st June and can be handed in at Brownies, Cubs, Bea-vers or Uplyme Post Office. Please write your name, age and tele-phone number on the back. Fancy dress theme for this year is some-thing beginning with the letter "P" (e.g.postman, policeman, pa-perbag, pencil, primrose etc.) Prizes for all! If anyone would like to book a stall please call Paula on 01297 631919. Even if you regularly have a stall at the Fete, it is essential that you still contact me to make sure I have you on my list. Charity fund raising stalls are free, we just ask you to bring a donation of a bottle (preferably alcoholic) for our bottle tombola or a cake for the Lym valley cake stall on the day. For further details please call 01297 631919 Paula

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Rock School April 09 This year has seen two rock schools already for the youth of the southwest, and having been there since the beginnings (3 years ago) I can say with experience that they just keep on getting better and better!!! There are many familiar faces now, coming back time after time a testimony that not only is the rock school great for learning a new instrument or im-proving on your chosen one, but it’s really great fun for the kids (and leaders!) who get to spend 3 days and nights really getting to know each other, with the opportunity to simply be themselves and relax. Not only is there instrument training, but everyone is

sorted into bands where they are encouraged to come up with their own songs to practice, record and perform for the parents at the end of the camp; and the quality of music this year was honestly phenomenal! There are words of wisdom, entertainment, pop quizzes, and games indoors and out, and of course some general chill out time to soak in the atmos-

phere. As well as leader testimonies and bible based lessons for all to learn from. As youth camps go, the food is simply the best you can get! Thanks to the skills of the master chefs and their helpers, whose sole duty is to keep the camp nourished with goodness… so everyone is ready to rock all the harder. As a Christ-orientated endeavour, the rock school is soaked in prayer from the offset; I’m sure the leadership will agree that it’s impossible to have the stamina, focus and strength to keep up the responsibilities, teaching and constant conversations without the Lords presence flowing

through. And for sure He is the reason why the rock school is such a great place to be! There is no better way to spend a half-term than to rock with Irve and the gang and to meet potential friends for life, whilst discovering just how awesome music can be!

Tris Massey-Birch

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Tips from the Handyman

Now the brighter weather has arrived (we hope), it’s a good time to walk round the house looking for any problems. Before your shrubs and peren-nials have started to grow strongly, make sure that your airbricks and drain covers are clear of winter debris. Look for defects in the walls, or external woodwork that needs fixing. If you decide to wash down the exterior, it’s best to use a garden hose and a mild detergent. Be careful when using a power washer, especially on cladding, or fascias/barge boards/soffits, as you can force water behind them which may lead to damp or rot.

Lyme Bay Handyman 01297 445715 lymebayhandyman.co.uk

Charity Vineyard Work day 9th May.

9am till 5pm. or just a few hours,

all helps!

The alpha youth group has re-cently been thinking about the sub-ject of charity. As a group we have certain charities that we could give to, but need to come up with some funds! We have decided to do a vineyard work day. It will be a great chance for all ages to get together and work for a good cause. The work day will also be a great chance to talk, sing, and hopefully enjoy ourselves (lunch included). The work is removing unwanted vine shoots, involves bending and will be tiring. The money raised will be proportional to the work done. The more vines we de shoot the more money we put into the pot. For more information and to con-firm you can come, please phone Nigel on 07813051697

Bethany Chapel

At Bethany 4pm Sun 31/5/09 the theme of the service will be evangelism and Christian service in Brazil, followed by

the usual tea.

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Christian Aid Week, 10-16 May 2009.

Christian aid week – keeping hope alive

Christian Aid Week is almost upon us, and we still need volunteers to help with the house-to-house collection. If you can help please contact us on 01297 443252. Our organisation of things will con-tinue in the coming weeks, so your prayers for Christian Aid and world action against global poverty would be appreciated We hope to deliver and to collect to all households in our commu-nity. However, if we are short of collectors it might be that we can only deliver. In anticipation of this problem, as in past years, we have arranged for you to be able drop your Christian Aid Envelop into our local Post Office, where a collection box will be located. If our collectors call and miss you, they will leave you a note asking you to deliver it to the collection box at the Post Office. A big thank you to our Post Office for their help We’ll get news to you in future editions of Parish News as well as Pew News in Church and via the notice boards in and outside of Church, to inform you of how successful this year’s campaign has been. God Bless, Margaret and Mark Trafford.

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Report on Uplyme Parish Council Monthly Meeting held on 8th April 2009 Planning Applications Granted by EDDC Old Barn, Lyme Road, Replacement conservatory Hartgrove House, Trinity Hill Road, Construction of first floor and two storey extensions Applications dealt with by Planning Sub Committee Pencroft Farm, Woodhouse Lane Amended plans. Change of use and alterations of stable block to commercial cattery with car parking area. The Parish Council notes that the applicant has been required by EDDC to advertise this application in a local newspaper. This was done in the ‘Bridport & Lyme Regis News’ which is not available in Uplyme (at least four other newspapers are). This is against the spirit and intent of the instruction. Local residents must be consulted by EDDC and rights of way and maintenance obligations must be part of any approval proc-ess. New trees required where existing trees are felled. Lymewood Retirement Home, Woodhouse Lane. Alterations to existing staircase and installation of platform lift between ground and first floors. The Parish Coun-cil has no objections to this application. Lymewood Retirement Home, Woodhouse Lane. Erection of summerhouse and alterations to parking area. Provided that the parking bays are constructed outside of the retained tree’s Root Protection Area (RPA), and that it is clearly made a condition of any approval, the Parish Council does not object to this application. Willow Cottage Springhead Road Erection of detached dwelling. The Parish Council considers that paragraph 1 of the Refusal (08/1748/FUL) still applies in every detail. It is overdevelopment near to the East Devon Way in a rural area of the AONB. It is still contrary to policies CO3 and CO6 of the Devon Structure Plan 2001-2016, policies S3, D1 and EN1 of the East Devon Local Plan 1995-2011, Guidance in the Uplyme Parish Plan and Parish Design Statement, and general advice in PPS1. Access alterations are not overcoming any of the above policies and the Parish Council strongly objects to this application. New Parish Councillor Councillors voted unanimously to co-opt Mr Eric Brown to the Parish Council. He will join the Council at the next meeting on 8th April. Two vacancies remain and anyone interested should contact the Chairman or the Parish Clerk Annual Parish Meeting Don’t forget – the Annual Parish Meeting is to be held in the Village Hall on Wednesday 22nd April at7.30pm. This is your meeting, so parishioners are encour-aged to come along to hear what the Parish Council has done on their behalf over the past year and to put forward their views. Charles White, Parish Clerk.

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CROSSWORD FOR MAY

Across 1 Sense of right and wrong (1 Corinthians 8:7) (10) 7 Coming (John 11:17) (7) 8 ‘All I have is — , and all you have is mine’ (John 17:10) (5) 10 Smarten (Acts 9:34) (4) 11 Hold back (Job 9:13) (8) 13 Member of the Society of Friend(6) 15 At ague (anag.) (6) 17 Citizen of the Greek capital (8) 18 So be it (Galatians 6:18) (4) 21 Twentieth-century poet and dramatist who wrote Murder in the Cathedral, T.S. — (5) 22 Empowers (Philippians 3:21) (7) 23 Imposing (1 Samuel 9:2) (10)

Down 1 Healed (Luke 7:21) (5) 2 Central space in a church (4) 3 Co-founder of Spring Harvest and General Secretary of the Evangelical Alliance 1983–97, Clive — (6) 4 Moses killed one when he saw him beating a Hebrew labourer (Exodus 2:12) (8) 5 Bravery (Acts 4:13) (7) 6 It interrupted Paul and Silas singing hymns in a Philippian jail (Acts 16:26) (10) 9 Transgression (Psalm 36:1) (10) 12 Irish province in which Dublin is situated (8) 14 Same hit (anag.) (7) 16 ‘The Spirit of God was hovering over the — ’ (Genesis 1:2) (6) 19 Author of the immortal stories of Winnie the Pooh, A.A. — (5) 20 Cab (4)

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Cottage to rent in Provence

Charming well furnished old cottage in Provencal hilltop village. 2 bedrooms (sleeps 4), small terrace, living room with open fire. Available to rent from £200 - £300 per week fully inclusive. For every booking from this ad we give £50 to Church funds. Contact Sam Pennington on 444432 or look at www.rosanscottage.com for more details.

Uplyme & Lyme Regis Horticultural Society

SPRING BRING & BUY PLANT SALE & COFFEE MORNING

Saturday 9th May 2009

UPLYME VILLAGE HALL

Wide variety of vegetable, bedding and border plants for sale. Donations of plants for sale in aid of the Society from 8am at the hall on the morning of the sale

Combpyne Rousdon Flower & Produce Association.

PLANT SALE &

COFFEE MORNING

Wednesday 27th May 10.30am

Peek Hall, Rousdon

Further details from Diana Forrest 01297 443135

Save the Children Illustrated Talk -"A Long Ride

Home" by Peter Gostelow who returned from Japan to the UK

on a bicycle

Friday 5th June 7.00pm

at Charmouth Primary School Lower Sea Lane, Charmouth

£6 - includes coffee and biscuits Tickets available from

01297 560402 & 01297 560694

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From the Registers Baptisms: Nil Marriages/Blessings: Nil Funerals/Internment of Ashes: Nil

YOUR LEGACY

TO THE CHURCH HAVE YOU MADE ONE WHY NOT SEE YOUR

SOLICITOR

St Peter & St Pauls Church, Pound Lane, Uplyme, DT7 3TT Rector of Uplyme & Vicar of Axmouth

Rev. Jeremy White, The Rectory, Rhode Lane, Uplyme, DT7 3TX Tel: 443256 Email: rector@uplymechurch.org.uk Church Administrator Carol Linsley 444499 (Church Office) Email: administrator@uplymechurch.org.uk Churchwardens Carole Fowkes 35884 David Hardman 444799 Deputy Churchwarden Jenny Perham 32254 Mark Trafford 443252 Hon Treasurer Neil Pullinger 443973 Sexton Jeanne Allen 445457 Electoral Roll Officer Alan Cottis 33188 Organist & Choirmaster Brian Manners 443845 Asst Organist Adrian Pearson 442902 Bell Ringers: Tower Capt. June Moulding 445143 Youth Worker Irve Griffiths 444621 Mrs Ethelston’s School Head Andrea Rice 442210 Mission Support Group Carol Linsley 442358 Home Groups Don Draper 442755 Lay Visitors Group Carole Fowkes 35884 Flower Group Jenny Perham 32254 Prayer Group Terry Daly 445541 Junior Church Kate Eaton 445135 Parish News Editor Robin Hodges 445180 Redlands, Lime Kiln Lane, Uplyme, Lyme Regis, Dorset, DT7 3XG parishnews@uplymechurch.org.uk