L iv ing Ever y MomentTM

fall | 2012

A Triannual Newsletter

of Hospice of the Valley

“I have always told

people that life is not

a rehearsal. You have to

live it while you’re here.”

“Life is Not a Rehearsal”By Victoria Emmons

I search for apartment #241 on a quiet, shady street in Santa Clara, a neighborhood I have never visited. A nearby door suddenly swings open and a perfectly coiffed, silver-haired woman steps out to greet me. With an infectious smile and sparkling eyes, Anna Thumann, 85, welcomes me to her home. I am there to learn about the early years of her life, an

adventure she likens to a Shirley Temple movie, and to hear about her hospice experience.

After spending a year and a half as a caregiver for a longtime friend, Anna was diagnosed with lung cancer only two and a half weeks after her friend’s death. It was then that she decided it was time to write her story about growing up on Alcatraz Island, a story she had wanted to share for a long time.

“It’s all in my book,” the newly published author tells me as she holds up a paperback copy of Alcatraz Schoolgirl: A Memoir, My Life on the Rock.

Most people wouldn’t admit to living on Alcatraz, the famous island in San Francisco Bay that housed some of America’s most famous criminals. The island became a federal penitentiary in 1934,

the same year Anna and her sister Dorothy arrived from Odenton, Maryland, along with their mother to start a new life with their soon-to- be stepfather.

“I was only seven years old and, at that moment, life seemed really good,” Anna writes in her memoir. “As a kid, I loved every minute of it.”

She would live on Alcatraz until age 17, her formative years influenced by the loving and protective cocoon surrounding the families who made the small island their home. They lived next door to heinous criminals; but Anna recalls her childhood as “innocent” and oblivious to the depression gripping the country during the 1930s. Her memoir tells of playing jump rope with her sister, a schoolgirl crush on a boy who shared the island, watching the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge which she roller-skated across on opening day, and riding barges every day to school in San Francisco.

Anna chose to remain in the San Francisco Bay Area after her coming of age on Alcatraz ended in 1943. She worked as a school

Continues on page 8

CHAPTERS | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 2

Hospice of the Valley VignettesHospice of the Valley is pleased to name George Labban, MD, hematology/oncology physician and Caravita Sansonia, JD, health care law attorney to its Professional Advisory Board. Dr. Labban and Ms. Sansonia will provide professional expertise, advice,

and support to Hospice of the Valley, as well as assist in the development of beneficial relationships between Hospice of the Valley and social services and health organizations in our community.

Please welcome Jim Yates, JD, CPHRM, CLS, ASCP, director of risk management and patient safety with Good Samaritan Hospital,

San Jose and newest member of Hospice of the Valley’s Ethics Committee and Development Committee. As a member of the Ethics Committee, he will address ethical issues that may arise in the delivery of care and

as a member of the Development Committee, he will work with staff to identify, develop and support new fundraising opportunities.

Our president & chief executive officer Sally Adelus was among the health care hero finalists honored on May 10 at the Silicon Valley/San Jose Business Journal’s Health Care Heroes Awards program held at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View. The program highlighted the top men and women in the Silicon Valley health care industry where Sally was a finalist in the administrator category.

Monique Kuo, MD, Hospice of the Valley medical director, was presented the STAR Caregiver Award on March 9 at the Cancer Support Community Silicon Valley’s 4th annual Awards Gala held at the Palo Alto Hills Golf and Country Club. The award was in recognition of her outstanding contributions to improving the quality of life for cancer patients.

Carolyn DeLeon, DM, was named chairman-elect of the Hospice of the Valley board of directors in July. A member of the board since 2008, Dr. DeLeon has over 16 years of health care experience, both clinical and administrative, with an emphasis on executive leadership and human resource management.

Over 300 new and longtime gala guests, sponsors, donors, and supporters raised over $212,000 during Hospice of the Valley’s “Silver and Spurs” Western Gala held May 4 at the Fairmont Hotel San Jose! Proceeds will benefit Hospice of the Valley’s programs and community services in Santa Clara County.

Honorary chairs were longtime supporters and current board member and past board chair, respectively, Sylvia and Jim Katzman of Saratoga. Jill Stein of San Jose served as the event chair.

Save the date for the 2013 Western Gala scheduled for Saturday, June 1, 2013 at Coyote Ranch, San Jose! ■

Thank You to Our 2012 “Silver and Spurs” Western Gala Sponsors!

Almaden Valley Athletic Club ■ Brannon’s Medical ■ Dignity Memorial

Good Samaritan Hospital ■ Jon R. Crase Construction, Inc.

Leavitt Pacific Insurance Brokers, Inc. ■ MD-Mart ■ NPC Consulting

O’Connor Hospital ■ Palo Alto Medical Foundation

Fairmont San Jose $175 per person

For ticket information408.559.5600 or visit

hospicevalley.org/gala

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CHAPTERS | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 3

A Fresh Perspective on the Affordable Care Act Ruling by Sally Adelus, President & Chief Executive Officer

In a landmark ruling this summer, the Supreme Court of the United States upheld nearly all of the Affordable Care Act. The Act will have sweeping consequences for the economy and America’s health care system. One aspect of our health care system that has been in the media frequently and under the microscope is the care and management of patients with chronic illnesses. Included in health care reform legislation are proposed penalties for hospitals that readmit patients with certain chronic conditions within 30 days.

It is our belief that, in order to enhance patient care while reducing multiple hospitalizations and unnecessary visits to the emergency room, we must elevate palliative and hospice care to be included within the overall continuum of care. To do that, we must raise awareness and continue to educate about the value of palliative and hospice care.

Palliative and hospice care are proven models to provide expert care and support while also managing costs of care most efficiently during a serious illness and at the end of life. Palliative care is appropriate at any stage of a serious illness and can be provided together with curative and life prolonging treatment to relieve the symptoms, pain and stress of a serious illness—whatever the diagnosis. Additionally, patients and family caregivers can receive emotional and practical support as they navigate their way through the decision process. Once the decision is made to forgo curative treatment, hospice care becomes an invaluable

option and an integral part of the continuum of care.

This is the time for a radical shift in the way we think about the future of our health care system. Rather than palliative and hospice care being considered options

when “nothing more can be done,” these specialized areas of care and support must be better integrated throughout the care continuum— enhancing the overall quality of care and patient experience, reducing multiple hospitalizations and unnecessary visits to the emergency room and, ultimately, better managing the costs of health care. ■

Editor’s Note: Hospice of the Valley plans to open the first independent, outpatient palliative care center in Northern California later this year. The Palliative Care Center|Silicon Valley™ will serve individuals who have serious illness and require the care and support of a palliative care team of professionals. We’re proud that our board of directors recognizes this need and supports our effort to bring these services to you. Special thanks to the members of the board palliative care center committee, including Zoe Alameda, Valerie Burniece, Robert Mastman, MD, Sally Adelus, Jim Ptak, Neal Slatkin, MD, Andrew Irish and the committee chairman Art Adams. Additional thanks to board member Sutton Roley whose tireless support and efforts resulted in securing a location for the Center.

To support the Palliative Care Center | Silicon Valley, visit hospicevalley.org to donate or learn more.

The new Palliative Care Center | Silicon Valley™ would not be possible without the support of many individuals and organizations that have generously donated their time and resources. Thank you to all who have contributed to this vital community program!

GrantsCJ Berry Foundation Members of the Silicon Valley

Capital ClubMembers of the Rotary Club

of Cupertino

Other DonorsArt & Denise AdamsJohn & Sally AdelusAlameda Family Funeral &

Cremation, Inc.Berliner CohenGeorge T. Block, MD, &

Mariam M. WahabDebra A. Zink BrodyValerie Norwood Burniece &

Thomas F. Burniece, IIIJim & Ann CashmanPamela CochraneSandi & Richard ConniffCarolyn M. DeLeon, DMVince & Patrice EvansNanci & Gary Fredkin John FrazerLinda GolinoRoberta & Kevin HayashiElizabeth HinesSylvia & Jim KatzmanHarris & Sharon MeyersJames NewmanMarilyn A. ParkJohn F. PignatelliJim PtakSutton RoleyMichael & Annie RubensteinTerry & Nina RutledgeHéctor Sánchez-Flores &

Lucila Ramos-SanchezKathy & Felix SchudaBarbara ShermanRajeev & Kathy SinghNeal Slatkin, MD & Michelle RhinerLawrence C. StenickaJeff & Elizabeth StrawnRobert & Jessa TacciniEuan Thomson &

Allison Jones ThomsonFrank G. VasquezAudrey ViterbiJohn WelchGlen R. WileyRandall & Jan WilloughbyChris & Kim WorrallAlejandro Zepeda

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CHAPTERS | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 4

The steering wheel feels hot under my fingers as I drive just a little too slowly down Union Avenue. I had heard the driveway to Hospice of the Valley was easy to miss. I’m twenty-one and lamenting the fact that I chose to do an Ethics Internship when I could be sunbathing—it’s my senior year after all. I park the car, enter the building and go through the motions, “Hello, my name is Jenn. I’m here for the internship.” I’m sure this whole thing will be purely academic, an afternoon of scientific observation.

Those were my thoughts before I began, but thankfully I was very wrong. This afternoon, and all the others I would spend at Hospice of the Valley, would contain something unexpected.

My assignment was to observe ethics in action, to see how people with terminal illnesses should be treated—that’s what I prepared for. What I never expected was learning about whose daughter was about to have a second baby, what somebody else’s father wore on his wedding day or why beans on toast is an excellent breakfast. By the time I finished my rotation with Hospice of the Valley,

I was blessed with more families and loved ones than I had when I walked in. I began looking forward to my afternoons visiting patients’ homes more than Friday nights or trips to the mall. The hours spent going through photo albums and walking through all those lifetimes fulfilled me in ways that I had never thought possible.

I’m still not sure who I related to more, the health care providers of Hospice of the Valley or their patients. Though I ultimately chose to enter a health care profession, I still feel as though I received as much therapy and counseling as the people we visited. Every day brought a new perspective on life for me; I gained years of maturity and worldly knowledge in just a few weeks. While it wasn’t without sadness, watching families cope with death led me to a greater understanding of my own attitudes at life. Something changes in you when you see a man get baptized on his deathbed. It fills you with light and suddenly you’re experiencing something greater than yourself, when you realize that your breath is in sync with everybody else’s. That we didn’t share the same religion was irrelevant. We were there, together, united in our own eyes and through our respective higher powers.

This reflection is supposed to end with how these experiences have influenced me professionally. Unfortunately, I can’t tease out the professional me from the rest of my life. Visiting Hospice of the Valley provided me with a viewpoint on life and people that I could never have gotten through my average daily routine. Those new perspectives have carried into my work, allowing me to look beyond the practicalities of someone’s situation and see a person seeking answers and comfort. It taught me that being professional does not mean being clinical. Hospice of the Valley showed me not to dismiss potentially invaluable experiences and to make what I do count for something beyond a good day’s work. Most importantly, it reinforced my reasons for working in health care in the first place: to help real people. ■

Jennifer (“Jenn”) Ngo participated

in the Health Care Ethics Internship

during the 2009–2010 academic year

and completed two rotations at

Hospice of the Valley. She graduated

from Santa Clara University in June 2010

with a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry.

Jenn is currently attending dental school

at University of the Pacific and will be

graduating in June 2013.

Hospice of the Valley is proud to partner

with The Markkula Center for Applied

Ethics at Santa Clara University to

provide this unique internship opportunity

for undergraduates.

Helping Real People: An Intern’s Experienceby Jennifer Ngo

CHAPTER 2 | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | i

CHAPTER TWOCOMMUNITy GRIEF & COUNSELING NEWS

I started to make my summer

vacation plans a few months ago.

Settling my itinerary early on helps

me get the best airline prices, good

hotels and a chance to sift through

tourist attractions online. It gives me

time to get mentally prepared for

packing bags, reserving my pet

sitter and arranging for a rental car.

But this year, something was missing.

As grief counselors remind me, I should be well past William Worden’s Fourth Task of Mourning—“To Find an Enduring Connection with the Deceased in the Midst of Embarking on a New Life.”1 My husband’s death happened nearly two years ago, after all. I should be “renewing energy and interest in life activities” by now.

My husband Jack had always devised our vacation driving route. He had taken care of the plants before we left town, stopped the newspaper delivery, and scratched the dogs’ ears one more playful time before saying goodbye to them for a week. He had always reminded me to pack lightly when I wanted to stuff unnecessary clothes in my suitcase. My vacation would no longer be the same without him. And I felt anxious about it.

Special times like a family vacation can easily trigger anxiety, even for someone who is not suffering grief. My friend Brad Leary, director of Hospice of the Valley’s Community Grief & Counseling Center, always reminds me that it is normal to feel guilty or anxious about moving for-ward in life without your loved one. I know he is right. And I listen to what Brad advises.

Taking risks with something new requires courage. yet without taking risks, I will not progress, learn or change. I will simply stagnate in my own life. Moving forward is tough

for those of us who grieve. Summer vacations are tough. I know I will be stronger if I do take risks, plan my new kind of vacation, and think of all the possibilities that may come of it. Jack would want me to enjoy the rest of my life and to be happy. He would want me to have a nice vacation.

For those who suffer through the pain of grief, life can eventually take on a new face. With help from people like Brad and the many grief counselors at Hospice of the Valley, recovery is possible. I don’t advise trying to do this alone. I am guilty of thinking I could manage just fine. I learned very quickly that I needed friends and family to listen, professionals to advise and colleagues to help me. That is all a necessary part of the grief process.

My vacation this summer will be different from what I had experienced for the past 23 years. I will map all my own routes, make the flight arrangements, and hire the pet sitter. I will think of Jack as I pack my bags, knowing his advice was correct. I will remember him as I select my travel wardrobe and it will bring me some small joy. I will fly off to Montana, a state I have never seen before, to enjoy the mountainous landscapes and visit my wonderful family. Life is still good. ■

For information about grief support groups

or individual counseling offered by the

Community Grief & Counseling Center,

call 1.408.559.5600.

Summer Vacation: It’s Just Not the SameBy Victoria Emmons

1. J. William Worden, “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy,

4th ed.” (New york: Springer Publishing Company, 2009) 50.

CHAPTER 2 | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | ii

Sarah Lee Norman has always

been an artistic type. Her mother

and grandmother were seamstresses

by trade, teaching Sarah as a young

girl to sew. “I don’t ever remember

being without crayons and glue

and scissors and needle and thread,”

said Sarah. “They have been my

support through life. Everything

was always art.”

It should be no surprise that when a theme emerged for her son’s 50th birthday party requiring guests to wear a men’s tie, Sarah couldn’t settle on using it as just a belt or a scarf. “On a whim, I took a tie that had been my husband’s, made a rose out of it, and wore it as a corsage,” said Sarah. While Sarah maintains that creating the rose was “not any big involved thing,” its symbolism is rich.

The tie Sarah selected to use for her rose corsage, red with white polka dots, was handmade by her mother. “Mother made all my dad’s ties, and she often gave them to my husband Fred. When I see this rose sitting on my jewelry box, I think of her as well as him. And it just makes me feel good. They had an extremely close relationship,” said Sarah.

Sarah’s mother and husband Fred grew close when their health declined. “Mother started one year and Fred started just a year later,” said Sarah. Her mother, in her late 90s, had congestive heart failure and Fred, in his late 70s, had been diagnosed with aortic dissection. “They were very supportive of each other during that period,” said Sarah.

After nine years of illness, both Sarah’s mother and Fred utilized Hospice of the Valley services within a year.“I would have preferred to start hospice care for Mother when she had six months to live, but she didn't want to. Someone somewhere told her that, once you get on hospice, it’s all fun and games. Mother said, ‘I don’t have time for fun and games. I have a life to live in what I have left,’” recalled Sarah.

“After a very frustrating six months of battling with Medicare for coverage of Mother’s treatments, I simply had run out of ways to deal with all the little episodes that were coming up. One day I finally told her, ‘you may not need hospice, but I need hospice.’”

Loss “Ties” Family and Strangers TogetherBy Chelsea Byom

Sarah Norman wears the rose corsage

she made from her husband’s tie.

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CHAPTER 2 | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | iii

Sarah’s mother did eventually begin hospice care and, as Sarah recalled, “Once Mother experienced those first connections with her hospice team, she very quickly said, ‘Why in the world did I not accept this when you offered it before?’”

A year later, Sarah took Fred to the hospital for pain on a Wednesday and again on Friday. “When we got to the hospital on Friday evening, Fred said ‘I think we should call hospice.’ He had seen the care they had offered Mother, but I’m sure that, in his mind, he was getting it for me.” Fred passed away on June 22, 2010, after three weeks of hospice care.

Sarah found she was coping well with the loss of her mother and husband in that first year. After the anniversary of Fred’s death, Sarah realized she might benefit from counseling when she began to think about what was next in her life. “I asked myself, ‘What’s my goal? Where do I want to head with the rest of my life?’” said Sarah. Her artistic mind created a visual to express her feelings. “I constantly was at this gate—dark, wrought iron-like gate. The gate would open, but I would turn back because there were all these unmarked paths going everywhere into nothingness. Rather than choosing blindly, it was easier to stay on the dark side of the gate.”

One of the benefits of hospice care are grief support services offered after the loss of a loved one. Sarah made the call to the Community Grief & Counseling Center and, working with her grief counselor Kathryn Lodato, Sarah was able to come to a new visual. “One day Kathryn asked me if I still had times when I felt like I was at those gates. It wasn’t until I was in the car on the way home that I realized that the gates were no longer in front of me; they were behind me. And they were no longer black; they were white. It was like the world had just righted itself again,” said Sarah.

After completing individual grief counseling, Sarah joined the Healing Hearts support group in September 2011. “I wore my rose corsage to group one day. The group members were asking about it, so I told them the story behind it,” said Sarah. “They really liked that idea so I offered to make roses for them from their husband’s ties.”

“I think receiving the rose had a lot of individual meaning for each person. For me, it was just good to do something for somebody else.”

When asked what Fred would think of turning his tie into a rose, Sarah replied laughingly, “He’d say, ‘Well, what is she going to do next?!’ But he would have also made the connection between Mother and he and I—the trio that we were those last few years.” ■

“Once Mother

experienced those first

connections with her

hospice team, she very

quickly said, ‘Why in

the world did I not

accept this when you

offered it before?’”

CHAPTER 2 | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | iv

Hospice of the Valley 2012 Calendar

SEPTEMBER 21— 8th Annual Kent Kirkorian Memorial Golf Tournament, Cinnabar Hills Golf Club,

San Jose

OCTOBER 20— Silicon Valley Broomstick Ball Benefiting Hospice of the Valley,

7 pm, Hayes Mansion, San Jose

NOVEMBER 7— "Getting Through the Holidays" Workshop, 7 pm, Hospice of the Valley

DECEMBER 2— Wings of Remembrance Memorial Event, 2 pm, Hospice of the Valley

SuPPORT GROuPS

BEGINNING THE WEEK OF

NOVEMBER 5

WEEKLY— Mondays: Partner Loss, Parent Loss

Wednesdays: Kids Group, Senior Partner Loss, Suicide Loss, Expressive Arts

TWICE MONTHLY—2nd and 4th Mondays:

Step by Step (Second Year Partner Loss)

2nd and 4th Wednesdays:

Healing Hearts (Second Year Senior Partner Loss)

On May 11, the conference room at Hospice of the Valley was transformed into an intimate setting with a mix of decorative ceramic teapots and teacups for 19 daughters attending the Mother’s Day Tea. The Mother’s Day Tea provided

a safe place for these daughters to share and celebrate their respective mother’s life.

A daughter graciously shared the following, “Hospice of the Valley was a great support and remains a gift that keeps giving. As I approached the first Mother’s Day without my precious mother, I wondered if I didn’t acknowledge it, it wouldn’t hurt so

much. I had mixed emotions about the tea. When I arrived, I heard the harp; I hoped to contain my emotions. Each daughter spoke about her mother and how hard it is to lose your mother. I understand her completely. That’s what the tea was for me—knowing everything I had felt for nearly a year was shared— it was valid. I came away with so much gratitude for the gift that was my mother. On Sunday, I woke with a feeling of peace. Though my mother was not down the hall, her love rested in my heart and would always be there. I wanted a sign, any sign that my mother was still part of me. I am convinced the peace I felt on Mother’s Day was that sign.” ■

Mother’s Day Tea Brings Comfort and PeaceBy Jeanne Wun

The Community Grief & Counseling Center hosts its annual memorial celebration at Hakone Gardens for our families, staff and community members that we’ve had the honor and privilege to serve. Hakone Gardens, the oldest Asian estate and garden in the Western Hemisphere, is eighteen acres of tranquility, peace and harmony nestled in the verdant hills of Saratoga, overlooking Silicon Valley. On June 6, over 110 guests gathered at the magnificent and historic setting that provided the perfect place for our memorial celebration to unfold which included music, readings, testimonials, reflections and a circle of blessings ceremony with refreshments at the conclusion of the program.

For more information about the Community Grief & Counseling Center and its memorial events, visit hospicevalley.org/griefsupport.

Special thanks to Hakone Gardens and its executive director/CEO Lon Saavedra for supporting our memorial celebration! ■

Annual Memorial Celebration Honors Patients and FamiliesBy Jeanne Wun

The Community Grief & Counseling Center interns (L to R) Steve Lo, Linda Mastrangelo, and Michele Barbic pose with grief counselor Kristina Gatto at the Hakone Gardens memorial celebration.

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CHAPTERS | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 5

Ann Begun is the consummate saleswoman. At 4:45 sharp one summer afternoon, she is quietly selling her array of handmade necklaces and earrings. The quartz and Swarovski crystal pieces in green, brown and blue are displayed on the table in Hospice of the Valley’s conference room, a makeshift jewelry store. The proceeds of this impromptu sale, one in a long line of Ann’s volunteer activities, will benefit Hospice of the Valley.

It is this dedication and commitment that earned Ann, a longtime Hospice of the Valley volunteer, the Junior League of San Jose Crystal Bowl Award presented to her on March 30, 2012. The award is given annually to honor service and volunteerism in the Silicon Valley community.

Ann became a volunteer with Hospice of the Valley in 2008 after

completing an extensive volunteer training program. She immediately helped develop the Pet Companion program for hospice and Transitions program families. Ann makes sure that all four-legged volunteers pass nationally-recognized testing and that their vaccinations and other required documents are current. She trained her own two dogs, Hope and Jamie, to become Pet Companions.

“Some patients are very concerned about finding homes for their pets prior to their death,” says Victoria Wild, director of volunteers at Hospice of the Valley. “Ann has worked diligently with rescue agencies, animal shelters and the SPCA to ensure safe and loving homes for our patients’ four-legged friends. This has involved arranging to have dogs neutered, inoculated, personality tested and more. Nothing seems too much trouble for Ann.”

Ann educated the clinical team about the benefits of Pet Companions and she is working to achieve program recognition by the American Kennel Club. She organizes training classes and recruits new participants, both owners and their dogs.

“The reward for Ann is always in the ‘doing’,” says Wild. “She truly has a ‘passion to serve’ whether it is the families she is assigned, the dogs she helps train, the volunteers she helps mentor or the jewelry she creates—she does none of it for herself, but with the desire to serve.” ■

San Jose Junior League Honors Ann Begun for VolunteerismBy Victoria Emmons

Professional Education Yields Better Care for Patients and FamiliesBy Chelsea Byom

Maintaining work-life balance is important in any career. For the nurses, social workers, chaplains, physicians, and volunteers who care each day for the seriously-ill and dying, they have the added task of finding time to grieve and reinvigorate their spirit of compassion. Offering two major educational events each spring,

Hospice of the Valley is a recognized leader in education and support for end-of-life professionals throughout Northern California. This year, Hospice of the Valley hosted its 5th annual Compassion in Action conference on Thursday and Friday, March 29–30, 2012, and the Hospice Foundation of America’s End-of-Life Ethics educational program on Thursday, April 19, 2012.

For the first time in its five-year history, Compassion in Action paired a free community lecture with the one-day conference for health care professionals. Over 200 attendees

gathered each day on the beautiful Santa Clara University (SCU) campus for this one-of-a-kind educational opportunity. “[Compassion in Action] may be the best, well-organized, and passionate trainings of the year,” commented one attendee.

Hospice of the Valley is proud to partner with SCU to provide this conference for the last five years, and we are especially grateful to Dale Larson, PhD, professor of counseling psychology at SCU for his ongoing support.

Continues on page 6—Education

Crystal Bowl winner Ann Begun with her

yellow lab, Hope, bring unconditional love

to our patients and clients, as Hospice of

the Valley Pet Companion volunteers.

Hospice of the Valley chaplain Pamela Nates

opens the Compassion in Action conference

with an invocation.

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CHAPTERS | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 6

Education Continued from page 5

Both the lecture and conference events were headlined by renowned palliative care physician Ira Byock, MD from Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, who discussed the issues raised in his latest book, The Best Care Possible—A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life. The lecture was recorded for re-broadcast by the Commonwealth Club Silicon Valley and may be heard online at hospicevalley.org/professionalcia.

Dr. Byock was joined at the Friday conference by a faculty of national experts in end-of-life care including Dale Larson, PhD, Department of Counseling Psychology, Santa Clara University, Janice Nadeau, PhD, Minnesota Human Development Consultants, and Deborah Grassman, NP,

Bay Pines Veterans Administration Medical Center. The topics covered included family dynamics, care for veterans, and avoiding burn-out. At the conclusion of the day one attendee stated, “I feel renewed, excited, and proud to be involved in this great work!”

The Hospice Foundation of America invited Neal E. Slatkin, MD, DABPM, vice president of medical services/chief medical officer at Hospice of the Valley to serve on their national panel of experts for their End-of-Life Ethics educational program. The program was video-recorded in Washington, D.C. and distributed nationwide and shown by local organizations. Hospice of the Valley had the honor of featuring Dr. Slatkin on its panel of experts for its local program held on

April 19, 2012 along with Kathleen Fahey, RN, CNS, El Camino Hospital, Frederick J. Parrella, PhD, Santa Clara University, Margaret McLean, PhD, Santa Clara University, and Sally Adelus, president & chief executive officer, Hospice of the Valley. The program was held at the Wyndham Hotel in San Jose for over 100 attendees.

“Hospice of the Valley has a wealth of expertise in end-of-life care. Our team of physicians, nurses, social workers, and counselors are experts in their fields. Since our founding, we have been committed to sharing that knowledge to improve the lives of patients and families in our community. Compassion in Action and the Hospice Foundation of America program are just two shining examples of our ongoing commitment,” said Sally Adelus. ■

The San Jose Sharks are busy with more than fending off competitors on the ice. The local sports heroes support the Sharks Foundation, the philanthropic arm of the hockey franchise. Hospice of the Valley was a recent recipient of a generous $25,000 grant from the Sharks Foundation to support our children’s bereavement programs which pro-vide grief support, art therapy, support groups and counseling for children.

Victoria Emmons, vice president, development & communications, joined other non-profit grant recipients on February 10 to accept the Sharks Foundation grant funding in a special on-ice ceremony complete with the team mascot S.J. Sharkie, recently named “Most Awesome Mascot” by the Cartoon Network’s Hall of Game.

Hospice of the Valley families were also guests of the Sharks, some attending a hockey game in February and others the U.S. Olympics

Gymnastics trials in June at the HP Pavilion. Families enjoyed the games from the personal suite of Sharks forward Martin Havlat (#9). ■

Sharks Foundation Supports Children’s Grief Program

VP Development & Communications Victoria Emmons, right of Sharkie, on the ice during

a break in the Sharks vs Chicago Blackhawks game on February 10.

Board of DirectorsChairman

Héctor Sánchez-Flores

Chairman-ElectCarolyn DeLeon, DM

Corporate SecretaryKatherine Tallman Schuda

Art Adams

Zoe Alameda

George Block, MD

Valerie Burniece

Linda Golino, RN, BA

Roberta Hayashi

Sylvia Katzman

Harris Meyers

Sutton Roley

Amari Romero-Thomas

Terry Rutledge

Rajeev Singh

Jeff Strawn

Euan Thomson, PhD

Chris Worrall

Ex OfficioPresident & CEO

Sally Adelus

VP Finance/CFO Jim Ptak

Executive TeamVP Medical Services/CMO

Neal Slatkin, MD

VP Patient Services Vince Evans

Chapters Managing Editor: Chelsea Byom

Copy Editors: Carlene Schmidt, Jeanne Wun, Amy yarberry

Hospice of the Valley Mission Statement

We affirm dignity and hope

for those facing serious illness

by providing comfort through

compassionate palliative,

hospice and grief care.

We strengthen our community

through advocacy, education,

research, and volunteerism.

CHAPTERS | Hospice of the Valley | Fall | 7

The front door to Hospice of the Valley is unlocked promptly at 8:45 am. By then, Mia Cater has already turned on the lights, made two pots of coffee and tidied up the lobby waiting area. Mia is very particular about the condition of the lobby and very gentle with those who wait in it.

“People ask me what I do. I just say, ‘I’m the Lobby Lady,’” Mia says with a smile as she adjusts the glasses perched atop her head.

Managing the reception desk at Hospice of the Valley since 2008, Mia knows that the first visit to Hospice of the Valley and the Community Grief & Counseling Center can be the toughest. In 1988, Mia lost her only child Dave at 18 years of age to a rare virus.

“I remember dealing with grief,” she recalls. “Grocery stores were always hard as Dave had certain lists of things he liked.”

Mia slips effortlessly between calming a nervous elderly woman on the phone to greeting a young mother with an 8-year-old in tow as they tentatively approach the lobby desk.

“I like making people feel comfortable,” says Mia. “I like helping people.

Grief can make it difficult to focus on dates or times. People may feel scared, teary or unhappy. I’m cognizant of what sets people off. I couldn’t stand the smell of flowers for two years after my son died.”

Mia’s own life experiences have elevated her sense of compassion and empathy for others facing loss.

She recalls the first year after her son’s death as the worst, the second year got a little easier and the third

year brought an acceptance that “this is the way it’s going to be.”

“Sometimes people cry on the phone. I just listen. Sometimes the word hospice throws people off. you understand when you’ve walked in their shoes.”

Recognizing what stage of grief a client may be experiencing is a critical skill. Sometimes clients begin to well up while completing the initial written form on the clipboard, says Mia. Questions can elicit all kinds of feelings. She knows to look for signs of those who may need a private room right away and those who are comfortable with their weekly visits, even arriving early to stand at her desk and share stories about their dogs, kids or jobs with her.

Mia understands her local clientele well. She grew up in the Bay Area, graduating from Los Gatos High School and attending West Valley College. Her first job was at Syntex Corporation as a receptionist. Her natural abilities for stellar customer service and multi-tasking quickly attracted the attention of her superiors, and she was soon teaching others. Those years of work experience and her personal loss made her well-suited for the welcoming role at Hospice of the Valley as front desk office manager.

“I am here to make it better for our clients,” says The Lobby Lady. ■

“The Lobby Lady” Offers Compassion and a Smile By Victoria Emmons

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Hospice of the Valley4850 Union Avenue

San Jose, California 95124

1.408.559.5600 | hospicevalley.org

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©2012 Hospice of the Valley. All rights reserved.501(c)(3) non-profit corporation. Tax ID 94-2803411.

secretary for many years. Her love of writing was grounded in her editor jobs “on the side.” She spent 23 years in human resources at Frito Lay where she hired plant and office personnel. She married and had two sons—Ron, 61, and Steve, 64. She is especially proud of her granddaughter Emily, an anthropology major at San Jose State University. Anna says she retired from her corporate job at age 64, but that didn’t mean she slowed down.

“In my middle 50s, I took classical Russian ballet,” she says. “In my 70s, I learned how to swim. I had grown up on an island and yet never learned to swim. I took public speaking. Nobody ever told me I couldn’t learn. You have to keep your mind active. I enjoy learning. I like doing things my own way.”

That eagerness to try new things kept Anna active for many years, she admits, and ultimately what helped propel her to publish her memoir.

“I tell my kids I’m an old car,” she says. “I’m a really old, old car and the parts are starting to wear out. I’ve always done all my own cooking and cleaning, but now a hospice volunteer helps me shop. Everyone has been wonderful. I can’t say enough about Hospice of the Valley. I enjoy my time with them. They’re happy people. Even Leiter’s Pharmacy, those guys that deliver to me, they are so nice. With their help,

I’m getting along fine. As I need them, they offer more services.”

With the help of Hospice of the Valley’s team of doctors, nurses, social workers, counselors, hospice aides and volunteers, Anna‘s independence is not compromised, but rather respected and embraced.

“I said to my nurse Cindy the other day that, for 85 years, I have always told people that life is not a rehearsal. You have to live it while you’re here. I see so many people who are continually in and out of the hospital or go to a nursing home and they are so unhappy. I just wanted to do my own thing and be by myself and make the most of my days left. And when I go, I want to be home.” ■

Editor’s Note: Anna Thumann died at home in summer 2012. Her memoir Alcatraz Schoolgirl is available at the museum on Alcatraz Island, Amazon.com and other bookstores. A portion of the proceeds supports the Alcatraz Island Family alumni organization. We are grateful that Anna shared her marvelous story.

“Life is Not a Rehearsal” Continued from page 1