Anthony Ayala

4/14/12

Act 2, Scene 2

Hamlet: Very well. You are a fisherman.

(P)

Hamlet: If that were so, I wish you were as good a man as a fisherman.

(P)

Hamlet: Yes, sir. Nowadays, honest men are one of tens of thousands.

(P)

Hamlet: True as the sun that breeds maggots on a dead dog, kissing the corpse- by the way, do you have a daughter?

(P)

Hamlet: Do not allow her to walk out in the sun. Conception is a blessing, but if your daughter conceives (gets pregnant?), friend, watch out.

(P)

Hamlet: A lot of words.

(P)

Hamlet: Oh, just lies sir. For here the sly writer says that old men have gray beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes full of gunk, and that they have no wit, and weak thighs. All of this I most certainly believe, but I don’t think it’s polite to write it down, since you yourself, sir, would grow as old as I am, if you could travel backward like a crab.

(P)

Hamlet: Into my grave?

(P)

Hamlet: You cannot, sir, take anything from me that I would freely give up- except my life, except my life, except my life.

(P)

Hamlet: These boring old fools.

Enter Guildenstern (G) and Rosencrantz (R)

(P)

(R)

Polonius Exits

(G)

(R)

Hamlet: My good old friends! How are you Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Boys, how are you both?

(R)

(G)

Hamlet: But you’re not the soles of her shoe either, are you?

(R)

Hamlet: Then you live around her waist?

(G)

Hamlet: So you’re in the secret parts of Fortune? No surprise- Fortune is a whore anyway. What news do you bring?

(R)

Hamlet: Then doomsday is near. But what you tell me isn’t true. Let me ask a more specific question. What have you done, my good friends, which deserve Fortune sending you to this prison?

(G)

Hamlet: Denmark is a prison.

(R)

Hamlet: Indeed, a big one, with many cells and dungeons, with Denmark being one of the worst.

(R)

Hamlet: Well, then, it isn’t one to you, for there is nothing inherently good or bad- it’s only one’s mind that makes it so.

(R)

Hamlet: O God, I could be trapped in a nutshell and count I king of infinite space, if it only wasn’t that I have bad dreams.

(G)

Hamlet: A dream is nothing but a shadow.

(R)

Hamlet: If that is so, then beggars are the ones with bodies, while our monarchs and heroes are the shadows of beggars. Shall we go inside? I’m afraid I might be losing my mind a bit.

(R/G)

Hamlet: No, no. I will not group you with my servants, for to be honest, they are most terrible. But answer me as friends, what brings you to Elsinore?

(R)

Hamlet: Thank you, but I am such a beggar, that even my thanks are poor. Were you not sent for? Did you come on your own initiative? Come, come, deal plainly with me. Please, just speak.

(G)

Hamlet: Anything you like, as long as it answers my questions. I know you were sent for. The modest looks on your faces betray your craft. I know the good king and queen have sent for you.

(R)

Hamlet: That you must tell me. Let me remind you of our old friendship, of our youth spent together, of the obligations of our love for one another, and by whatever else will make you answer me straight.

(G)

Hamlet (aside): I’ve got my eye on you. (To G). If you love me, you’ll be honest.

(G)

Hamlet: I will tell you why, so you won’t have to tell me and give away any secrets between you, the King, and the Queen. I have recently, but do not know why, lost all sense of humor, stopped exercising, and, indeed my disposition is so severe that this grand earth feels sterile and

empty. This beautiful canopy we call the sky, laced with golden light, appears as nothing to me but diseased filled and pestilent vapor. What an awe-inspiring invention man is, how noble his reason, how infinite his capacity, in form how admirable, angelic and godlike. Yet to me, what are we but dust? I find no delight in man, or in woman, but by your smiling you seem to do so.

(R)

Hamlet: Why did you laugh, then, when I said “I find no delight in man?”

(R)

Hamlet: He that plays the part of the king will be particularly welcomed- I will treat him like a real king. The adventurous knight will use his sword and shield, the lover will be rewarded for his sighs, the humorous man will rant all he wants, and the lady character will express herself freely, or I will stop the play. Which troupe is it?

(R)

Hamlet: Why do they travel? Their reputation and profit was better in the city.

(R)

Hamlet: Do they hold the same popularity they did when I was in the city? Do they attract great audiences?

(R)

Hamlet: Why? Are they getting rusty?

(R)

Hamlet: What, are they children? Who takes care of them? Will they stop acting when their voices mature? Aren’t their writers doing them wrong by having them upstage adult actors, which the are going to grow up and become?

(R)

Hamlet: Is that possible? (Are you kidding?)

(G)

Hamlet: And the boys are winning so far?

(R)

Hamlet: Actually, that doesn’t sound too unusual. For my uncle is King of Denmark, and those that would ridicule him while my father was still alive are now rushing to pay twenty, forty, fifty,

up to a hundred ducats apiece for miniature portraits of him. There is something unnatural about it, is a philosopher stopped to think about it.

Flourish for the Players within

(G)

Hamlet: Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Don’t be shy- shake hands with me. In order to welcome you, I have to run through all of these customs, don’t I? And if we don’t shake hands, when I kindly towards the players it will seem like I’m happier to see them than you. You are very welcome here. But, my uncle-father and aunt mother have got the wrong idea.

(G)

Hamlet: I’m only crazy sometimes. On good days, I can naturally tell the difference between a hawk and a handsaw.

Polonius Enters

(P)

Hamlet: Listen, Guildenstern, and you too, Rosencrantz-listen as close as you can. (Indicates Polonius) That great baby you see there is still in diapers.

(R)

Hamlet: (aside to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern) I be he comes to tell me of the actors; just watch. (To Polonius) You’re right, sir, that happened on Monday morning.

(P)

Hamlet: My lord, I have news for you. When Roscius was an actor in Rome-

(P)

Hamlet: Yawn, snore.

(P)

Hamlet: Then each actor arrived on his ass.

(P)

Hamlet: Oh Jehpthah, judge of ancient Israel, what a treasure you had!

(P)

Hamlet: Well, (sings)

One fine daughter and no more

The which he love more than anything-

(P)

Hamlet: Aren’t I right, old Jephthah?

(P)

Hamlet: No, that’s not logical.

(P)

Hamlet: Why,

As by chance, God knows,

And then, you know,

It happened, as you’d expect-

If you want to know more, you can refer to the popular song, for now I have to stop.

The Players enter

Welcome, welcome to all of you! (Turns to one of the actors) Oh old friend, I’m glad to see you. (Turns back to all of them)- Welcome my good friends. (Turns to another actor)- Oh, it’s you! You’ve grown a beard since I saw you last. Are you going to put a beard on me too? (Turns to actor dressed as a woman)- Well hello, my young lady and mistress! You’ve grown as much as a pair of platform shoes at least! I hope your voice, like a piece of solid gold, has not cracked within the ring.- Masters, you are all welcome. We’ll get right to business. First, lets have a speech. Come, give us a little speech to whet our appetites. A passionate speech, please.

(First Player)

Hamlet: I heard you recite a speech for me once, but it was never acted out, or if it was, is was performed only once, since the play was not popular- like caviar for a commoner who couldn’t appreciate it. But the acclaimed critics and I found it to be an excellent play, with will ordered scenes that were clever but not overly fancy. I remember one critic said there was no vulgar language to spice up the dialogue, and showing off on playwright’s part. The same critic called it an excellent play, containing things to reflect upon as well as sweet music to enjoy. Once speech in it I especially loved. It was when Aeneas told Dido about Priam’s murder. If you happen to remember this scene, begin at line… let me see, how does it go?

The rugged Pyrrhus, strong as a tiger- No, that’s wrong; it begins like this:

The rugged Pyrrhus, whose black armor was as dark plans, and was like the night when he crouched inside the Trojan Horse, Has now smeared his dark armor, With something worse. From head to foot. He’s now covered in red , decorated horribly, With the blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons. The blood is baked to a paste by the fires he set in the streets, Fires that lend a terrible light to his horrible murders. Boling with wrath and fire, and coated thick with hard-baked blood, His eyes glowing like rubies, the hellish Pyrrhus, Old grandshire he seeks. Sir, take it from there.

(P)

(First Player)

(P)

Hamlet: It shall to the barber’s, along with your beard. Please, continue, players. This old man finds pleasure only in the dancing or sex scenes; he sleeps through all the rest. Go on; come to the part about Hecuba.

(First Player)

Hamlet: “The mobled queen?”

(P)

(First Player)

(P)

Hamlet: (to First Player) Very well. I’ll have you perform the rest of it soon. (to Polonius) My lord, will you make sure the actors are made comfortable? Do you hear, make sure you’re good to them, since what they say about us later will go do down in history. After your death, it’d be better to have a bad epitaph than their ill will while we’re alive.

(P)

Hamlet: Good heavens, man, give them more than that. If you pay everyone what they deserve, would anyone ever escape a whipping? Treat them with honor and dignity. The less they deserve, the more your generosity is worth. Take them inside.

(P)

Hamlet: Follow him, friends. We’ll hear a play tomorrow. (To First Player)- My friend, can you perform The Murder of Gonzago?

(First Player)

Hamlet: Then we’ll see that tomorrow night. By the way. If I were to compose an extra speech of some dozen or sixteen lines and stick it into the play, you could learn it by heart for tomorrow, right?

(First Player)

Hamlet: Very well. Follow that lord now, and be careful not to mock him.

Polonius and the Players Exit

Hamlet: My good friends, I’ll see you tomorrow. You are welcome to Elsinore.

(R)

Hamelt: Yes, good-bye to you both.

(R&G Exit)

Hamlet: Now I am alone. Oh, what a peasant I am! Is it not monstrous that this actor here, in fiction, in a dream of passion, could force his soul to feel made-up feelings? Overcome by emotion, he shed real tears, his voice breaking with feeling and his whole being, even, meeting the needs of his act- all for nothing. For Hecuba! What is Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba, that he would weep for her? What would he do had he the motive that I have? He would drown the stage with tears, cleave the audience’s words with terrible words, drive the guilty spectators crazy, terrify the innocent ones, confound the ignorant ones, and astound absolutely everyone’s eyes and ears. Yet what do I, a dull and uncourageous rascal, do? Mope around like a dreamer, unmotivated by cause, and I can say nothing-nothing at all-on behalf of a king whose life was stolen. Am I a coward? Is there someone who’ll call me “villain” and slap me hard? Pull of my beard? Pinch my nose? Call me the worst liar? By god, I should take it, for I am pigeon-livered and lack gall, otherwise, I would’ve fattened all the region’s vultures with the intestines of that low-life king a long time ago. Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, unnatural villain! Oh revenge! What an ass I am! I am so brave. My dear father’s been murdered, and I’ve been urged to seek revenge by heaven and hell, and yet all I can do is stand around cursing like a whore in the street. Damn it! I need to get myself together! Hmm… I’ve heard that guilty people sitting in a play have been so affected by the cunning of the scene that they are driven to confess their crimes out loud. Murder has no tongue, but

miraculously it still finds a way to speak. I’ll have these players play something like the murder of my father before my uncle. I’ll observe his looks. I’ll probe his conscience and see if he flinches. If he becomes pale, I’ll know what to do. The ghost I saw may be the devil, and the devil has the power to assume a pleasing disguise, and so he may be taking advantage of my weakness and sadness to bring about my damnation. I’ll have evidence more relative than this. The play’s the thing to uncover the conscience of the king.