226Parenting.com

APRIL 2018

The Fruit of the Spirit

Goodness

INTRODUCTIONPAGES 3-5

MORNING PRAYERS

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DINNERTIME STORIES

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DRIVE-TIME GAMES

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BEDTIME QUESTIONS

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WEEKLY BIBLE STORY & MEMORY VERSE

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The Fruit of the Spirit

Goodness

Dr. Josh + Christi

Love. Joy—(yes, please). Peace. Patience—(I could use some of this too). Kindness. Goodness—(yes, Lord, help my children to be kind and good, especially in the grocery store). Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-control.

The fruit of the Spirit! Not to be confused with the fruits (plural) of the Spirit. Like you, we’d love nothing more than to add a little more joy or self-control to our lives, especially with chocolate. But the fascinating part about the fruit of the Spirit is that they are interconnected, meaning that they all go together. One without the other is a counterfeit.

For example, goodness without kindness can be legalistic. Kindness without goodness can tolerate sin. We show the pure fruit of the Spirit only as we take time to develop these qualities together.

But that is exactly what we as parents need to understand—it takes time. You cannot watch trees grow. You can measure their growth over time, but you can’t sit and watch them grow. The same is to be said for our kids. As much as we’d love to see our kids become “good,” true goodness birthed from the Spirit of God happens in time.

So as you go through this month’s content, keep in mind and be encouraged that, just like you, your kids are a work in progress. Change doesn’t happen overnight. I don’t know about you, but this really helps us take the pressure off.

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The Fruit of the Spirit

Goodness

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FOR MOM Focus on the Motive

I (Christi) am a mom who tends to over-prioritize my kids’ misbehavior. In other words, one of my weaknesses is that I’ll quickly come down hard on the misbehavior without giving thought to the motivation or reason behind what happened. However, I’m learning to catch myself.

Here’s an example. Have you ever tried to get your child to behave when he or she was over tired? You try so hard to teach a lesson in the moment only to witness a complete meltdown and repeated misbehavior with, albeit, a bad attitude. Instead of raising the white flag and chalking it up to tiredness, we feel we have to get our point across so our kids will learn to be good. Unfortunately, these moments always seem to lead to yelling and an extremely not-so-fun bedtime. You’ve been there too?

Most recently, I’ve been learning to focus on the motivation behind my kids doing good, not just getting them to behave for goodness sake. Though we can try to make our kids do good, the only way for them to be good is to first develop a relationship of love with us as parents and rule-makers. You may have heard it said that rules without relationship leads to rebellion, but rules with relationship leads to respect.

As you apply the content this month, don’t worry about your kids doing good because you said so. Instead, focus on helping them do good over time because it’s the right thing to do.

FOR DAD Choose Goodness

A rich young ruler once asked of Jesus: “Good teacher, what things must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Matt. 19:16; Mark 10:17, CSB).

Jesus’ reply is fascinating, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone” (Mark 10:18, CSB). The young ruler had followed all of God’s commandments, yet it wasn’t enough. Jesus told him, “Go, sell all you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven” (Mark 10:21).

In his question, the rich young ruler asks how to do good, using a Greek word referring to moral behavior. However, the “goodness” described as a fruit of the Spirit means much more. True goodness is “excellence of character.” It combines our attempts to do good with God’s character of being good. This kind of goodness is not attainable in our own strength, so Peter encourages us, by God’s divine power, to make every effort to add to our faith goodness (2 Peter 1:5).

This means that teaching our children to just “do good” can look very much like legalism—especially when we only reward them for good behavior. The rich young ruler was trying to do good to earn his way into heaven, yet he was lacking the most important thing—an underlying love for the Rule-Maker. This love is what compels us to follow the rules in the first place (2 Cor 5:14).

Goodness doesn’t come by our strength alone—only God’s. This month, I (Josh) really want to encourage you to pray for goodness. I’m praying that God, in His goodness, gives me the strength to choose goodness for others—the poor, the hurting, and especially my wife and kids. Not merely because it’s what I’m supposed to do, but because God loves me enough that He already did it for me.

The Fruit of the Spirit

Goodness

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FOR COUPLES Celebrate the Good

For our relationship, we want to throw a bit of a different spin on goodness this month.

In Genesis 1, after each and every day of creation, a pattern unfolds: “And God saw that it was good.” Then, when we get to the seventh day, it says that God rested from all of the work that He had done.

Did God need to rest? Was He exhausted from His work? Not at all. Instead, He rested to celebrate all that He had created. All that was good.

How often do you and your spouse take time to rest and celebrate all that God is doing in your marriage? Do you celebrate all of the good He is doing in the work each of you lay hands on?

Jesus declares in Mark 2:27 that “the Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath.”

As a human, your body needs rest. Only in that rest can we take the time to remember the good that God is doing in our lives. To continuously keep working and fail to celebrate makes us no different than a machine. Machines never stop. Machines never celebrate.

As a human, establish the created pattern of the Sabbath in your marriage. And celebrate the good God is doing in and through you and your spouse.

The Fruit of the Spirit

Goodness

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For your children to pray these prayers, simply change the pronouns from “my children” for the

parent to “me” for the child, respectively.

Heavenly Father, since you called us by your own glory and goodness, establish my children to share in Your divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world

(2 Peter 1:3-4).

Lord, I decree and declare salvation in the hearts of my kids today.

Dear God, help my children to supplement their faith with goodness (2 Peter 1:5).

Jesus, thank You for establishing me in Your authority. I pray today your authority, rule, and dominion over my kids and I command any generational curse or sin to leave our home in the authority and name of Jesus.

Dear Lord, today I pray for my child’s spouse. Protect his/her heart today O’

Lord. Be with his/her parents. Encourage them. Lead my child’s spouse deeper into a relationship with You. Form him/her into

Your character.

God, make my children worthy of their calling, and by Your power

fulfill their every desire to do good, so that the name of our Lord Jesus

will be glorified by them (1 Thessalonians 1:11).

Father, I thank you that as my children come to know you, they are now light in the Lord. I pray that they live as children of light—for

the fruit of the light consists of all goodness, righteousness, and truth (Ephesians 5:8-10).

MORNING PRAYERS

WHAT IS GOODNESS?

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MORNING PRAYERS

11God, thank You for being the Good Shepherd and laying down Your life for Your sheep. Help me as a parent to shepherd my kids well, to show

them that being good matters more than simply doing good

(John 10:11).

09Heavenly Father, multiply the fruit and work of my children’s hands. Give me

insight and understanding to raise my children in such a way that they

hear those most coveted words, “Well done, good and faithful servant!

(Matthew 25:21).

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Lord Jesus, I know I am not the end all, be all to my kids. Because of

that, surround them with people who will model for and instill in

them Your goodness.

08Dear Jesus, in the times that others plan evil against my children, I pray, that just like Joseph, you use it for

good to strengthen my children and bring glory to Your name

(Genesis 50:20).

13God, I praise You today because my kids are

remarkably and wondrously made. Their bones are not hidden from You. You created their

inmost parts. You knit them together in the womb. Their days were already written in your

book and planned before a single one has begun. Help me to trust You with them, Lord

(Psalm 139:14-16).

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Father, I pray my kids grow up to become good friends—sacrificial, loving, and

trustworthy.

15Father, thank you for sending Your Son,

Jesus, as a ransom for the forgiveness of our sins. I pray the blood of Jesus over my spouse, my children, my household, my kingdom, and my domain, today. Protect them. Guide them. And lead each of us

deeper into You this day.

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Holy Spirit, convict my children to lust after You. Since the flesh is opposed to the Spirit, teach my kids what it means

to walk in You, to pray to You at all times, and to grow in Your fruit (Galatians 5:22).

WHAT IS GOODNESS?

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WHAT IS GOODNESS?

DRIVE-TIME GAMES

Todays Heroes

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Each month we provide a list of games related to that month’s mile-marker. Simply choose the ones you enjoy as a family and play them often.

Take turns on the drive home telling stories about someone you saw live out the biblical value of goodness. Is there a national news story where you saw someone live this out? Or is it someone locally at your church, school, or in your community?

Celebrate the Good! Begin by reading the couples introduction above. Then, read Genesis 1, the story of creation. Explain to your kids that God didn’t need to rest, but created the Sabbath that we could rest and take delight in the good that we are doing. In a culture that rarely slows down long enough to celebrate, play this game to instill a culture of celebration in your home—and car.

Everybody take a turn going around the car talking about something good they accomplished this past week—it could be a project at school that went well, sharing lunch with a friend, sharing toys with a sibling, etc.

Everybody finish the sentence, “I want to celebrate that I was able to ______________ this week.” Everybody go around the car and honor the person. Celebrate the good they did. Ask questions. Talk about the positive ramifications of what they did. How it might have made someone else feel or make a better decision.

Once everyone has had a turn to celebrate the good he/she has done, put someone on the hot seat, and everyone takes turns celebrating the good that person has done through the eyes of others that week. For example, “Sarah, I want to celebrate how you took the time to notice my new haircut. It really meant a lot that you noticed and went out of your way to tell me how nice I look.”

WHAT IS GOODNESS?

DRIVE-TIME GAMES

I Failed! The point of this game is to reward creativity and celebrate failure. Many times, we feel ashamed when we think we failed at something, especially if it was a moment where we could have done good for another person. But what if we celebrated these moments as opportunities to learn and grow?

Everyone take a turn either describing a moment they saw someone else not do good to someone or, if brave enough, describe a moment they could have done good but didn’t. For example, “Yesterday I saw an elderly woman carrying groceries to her car in the pouring rain. Instead of going to help her I just hurried past because I was running late. I still feel badly about it.”

After that, everyone in the car comes up with incredible lessons we can learn about that moment. Remember, failing isn’t the problem. It’s when we fail to learn from our failures that will make life most difficult. Use this game to teach your kids to pay attention to the opportunities of doing good for our neighbor.

Pray.Use this time to pray for goodness in the world around us. With the tragedies hitting our nation, pray for unity, clarity, and goodness to come forth in our local communities. Ask God to show you how your family can be a part of the good in your neighborhood.

WHAT IS GOODNESS?

DINNERTIME STORIES

Everyone share a favorite memory from Easter this year. What did you learn this year that you didn’t know about Easter before?

Think of a moment where you saw your parents—your kids’ grandparents—show goodness to someone else while you were growing up. Tell your kids the story. Use it as a way to honor your parents but also teach your kids about how goodness has been displayed in your own family lineage.

Tell your kids about a coach, teacher, pastor, or boss you had who taught you about goodness. Do you have a story about how they taught this lesson to you? Tell stories about how mentors modeled goodness for you.

What is one thing you learned today that you didn’t know when you woke up? Everyone share at the table tonight.

Tell your children a modern day Good Samaritan story, where either you were the Good Samaritan or were on the receiving end of a Good Samaritan.

Tell your kids how you specifically lived out goodness today. Did you make a “good” decision today? What was it? What were the alternative decisions that you could have made? What Scripture supports the decision you made?

Use the dinner table this month to talk about goodness and what it means to each of you. For instance, you can ask the following questions as prompts: What does goodness mean to you? Do you know someone who has a good heart? What makes him/her good? Use this as an opportunity to describe to your kids as well what goodness means biblically and how you see it lived out.

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WHAT IS GOODNESS?

DINNERTIME STORIES

Similar to the “I Failed” game above, tell your kids about a time when you wish you would have or could have done good for somebody. Describe to your kids the lessons you learned from that moment.

Tell your kids about a moment you felt most proud of them for showing goodness toward someone. What specifically did they do?

Tell your kids about the funniest thing that’s happened to you or the funniest thing you saw happen recently. Have everyone go around the table telling funny stories about something they saw happen.

Everybody takes a turn. If you had three wishes right now, what would they be? And, you’re not allowed to wish for money or another wish.

Imagine someone walked in and gave your family (not just you) $20,000. It could only be spent on doing good. What good would your family do with that money?

Everybody take a turn describing one thing they—within reason—want to do this upcoming summer as a family. Perhaps ask the question: What would you like to do to make this summer the most memorable ever as a family?

Tell your kids about one struggle or obstacle you had this week that you had to overcome. What did you do/are you doing to overcome that struggle?

Age-appropriately, share with your kids what God is teaching you right now in your life.

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WHAT IS GOODNESS?

BEDTIME QUESTIONS

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In your own words, what does it mean to be good?

Who do you know that is good? What makes him/her good?

Do you think it’s hard being good? Why or why not?

How does it make you feel when someone (mom, dad, your teacher, pastor, etc.) tells you that you did a good job?

What does it mean to “be good” and what does it mean to “do good?”

Who are kids in school or that you know who always seem to do the right thing?

Can you tell me about someone this week that went above and beyond for somebody else, like the Good Samaritan?

What is something you recently did that was good? Not because you followed the rules but because you knew it was the right thing to do.

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How do you feel about yourself knowing you got into trouble or didn’t obey the rules?

Do you think it’s possible to always obey the rules and never get into trouble? Do you know who the only person is to ever do that? (You can use this question as a possible lead-in conversation pointing to Jesus as our Savior).

If you could choose one thing to do together as a family this weekend, what would it be?

What is one thing we could do as a family to be good to another family?

What is one good thing you’d like to do this week for someone else?

Is there anything bothering you right now that you want to talk about?

What, about springtime, are you most excited about or looking forward to?

WEEKLY BIBLE STORY & MEMORY VERSE

WHAT IS GOODNESS?

WEEK 1

THE RICH YOUNG RULER MARK 10:17-22

Memory verse: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:25, CSB).

WEEK 2

THE GOOD SAMARITANLUKE 10:25-37

Memory verse: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27, CSB).

WEEK 3

THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT GALATIANS 5:22-26

Memory verse: “‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22a, CSB).

WEEK 4

RUTH’S GOODNESS TOWARD NAOMI RUTH 1:1-22

Memory verse: “The women said to Naomi, ‘Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you without a family redeemer today. May his name become well known in Israel” (Ruth 4:14, CSB).