ST ANDREWS BEACH RESULTS

GOLFER OF THE MONTH Andrew Robertson

Newsletter August 2011 ARBN 0008532C

SNAIL

Andrew Manning

WINNE

R

Rod Crisf

ield

COCK OF THE WALK Tony Watson

Abracadabra Fancy Dress Hire

Athlete's Foot Eastland/Knox

Aughtersons Insurance

Award Bookkeeping Company

Ferntree Gully Radiators

Ian Falconer Accountant

Joe Fekete Decorators

Lloyd Jordan Roofing

Melbourne Body Corporate

Otten Construction, Concreting

Rod Crisfield - Heating and Cooling

S.A.J Fruit Supply

Solahart - Solar Hot Water

Strategic Labour Hire

YAWD Construction

Coming up:

Next Game:

Moonah Links (Details Page 2).

NAGA David Flemming

Club Sponsors

http://home.vicnet.net.au/~fsgc/

Rod Crisfield 36 15

Peter Wright 35 14

Andrew Robertson 34 13

Bob Laurie 34 12

Paul Munro 32 11

Brett Cathcart 32 10

Denis Hyslop 30 9

Ian Falconer 29 8

Tony Watson 29 7

Andrew Manning 28 6

Robert Laurie 28 5

Shane Franklin 27 5

Stuart Kent 27 5

Mark Otten 27 5

Ken Stevens 27 5

Steve Thiele 27 5

Larry Adami 26 5

David Castles 26 5

Ron Cooksley 26 5

Jason Cooksley 26 5

Dean Glatzer 25 5

Bernie Herbert 25 5

Brenden Schuring 25 5

Cheran Sugathapala 25 5

Wes Bucci 24 5

John Glancy 24 5

Les Major 24 5

Joe Fekete 22 5

Jason Bowyer 21 5

Neil Dipple 21 5

Shayne Elso 19 5

David Fleming 9 5

Next Game—Moonah Links

Thanks for the responses all, definitely worth a giggle—I may have to save up and release an x-rated newsletter later in

the year ???? (by request only).

Here are the ones I could publish……

(P.S—I have saved a few ‗look alikes‘ for next month, email me if you have any suggestions of members who have simi-

larities to famous / infamous people or possibly an animal ! )

Date: 11th September

Course Address 55 Peter Thompson Dr, Fingal (melways ref 252 C2 ) Assembly: 7:00am

Cost:

Members-

Please note—No $ discount for walking the

course.

$70 inc Cart & Lunch

Honorary Members (Inc $5 membership fee) $90 inc Cart & Lunch

Carts: Book via the Pro-shop on 5988 2088

Event/s: Stableford

Lunch: Clubhouse

Cock of the Walk: Tony watson

Challengers:

Emergencies:

Stuart Kent, Dean Glatzer

Ron Cooksley, Rod Crisfield

Bookings: Contact Mark Otten on 0418 350 337 or motten@ottenconstructions.com.au or add

your name to the web bookings by Thursday, 1st September before 8.00pm.

Dress Requirements: Neat casual golf attire on and around the course.

A statement never spoken truer ’If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.’

Bob Hope—Timeless humour: ‘This guy was such a cheat at golf, that when he had a hole in one, he wrote

down zero.”

Names for some interesting golf shots :

'Osama Bin Laden' or 'Saddam Hussein' : going from one bunker to another.

'Rodney King' : over-clubbed.

'Beyonce' : a bit chunky, but still on the dance floor.

'Danny DeVito' : an ugly little five footer.

'Sonny Bono' : straight into the trees.

Waste of time fact:

Dimples were first used on golf balls around a century ago. This is after many players reported that dam-

aged balls seemed to travel so much further than brand new ones. After they reported this, companies

started making the balls in odd shapes to help them get this effect. One William Taylor (surname sound

familiar)spent a lot of time studying golf ball shapes and their paths in flight, and he is who perfected the

dimples that are common on every golf ball that you will see today.

Editors Mail Bag

If you have any interesting

articles, facts, jokes or best of

all ‘Incriminating photos’—I

would love to hear from you,

(anonymous if you wish) —

please email them to

Larry.Adami@Optusnet.com.au

Good Health and Safe Golfing

Other Competition Winners

Committee—Notice Board

Nearest the pin 4th Hole Andrew Robertson

Nearest the pin 6th Hole Robert Laurie

Nearest the pin 11th Hole Jason Cooksley

Nearest the pin 16th Hole David Castles

Longest Drive Shane Franklin

Most Putts N/A

Least Putts N/A

Best Visitor Clint Bryant (32 Points)

Beer Raffle 1 Clint Bryant

Beer Raffle 2 Rob Laurie

Ball Raffle John Glancy

Snail Andrew Manning (Perpetual Trophy)

Paul Munroe (Monthly)

Moonah Links - Sand is the ‘New black’ apparently, so remember to pack an extra wedge and a pocket full of patience…...

Could members with monies out standing for subs & game fees please make every effort to reimburse the

club, Thanking you in advance.

Andrew Lowe has been working hard, pestering Moonah Links booking staff for a reduction in green fees,

he has finally broken them down, shaking hands to a great package, Moonah Links and Foothills SGC have

set this months game package at $70 and includes a cart & lunch in a private room. (Please Note unfortu-

nately we cannot offer a discounted price for walking the course.)

This is more than a 50% discount compared to the walk up price, Thanks Andrew.

The Courses for 2013 are currently being selected, The committee realises keeping cost down, variety of

course and distance are the members major considerations and are designing the years itinerary to accom-

modate as best as possible.

2011 Championship

Ladder

Cock Of The Walk

Rotation

Current Handicaps

Andrew Robertson 70

Steve Thiele 63

Peter Wright 61

Ian Falconer 61

Dean Glatzer 60

Jason Bowyer 56

Brenden Schuring 56

Bob Laurie 54

Robert Laurie 53

John Glancy 53

Wes Bucci 50

Brett Cathcart 50

Andrew Manning 50

Stuart Ray 49

Matt Wallis 49

Mark Otten 48

Jason Cooksley 48

Les Major 46

Stuart Kent 45

Shayne Elso 44

Larry Adami 44

Ken Stevens 43

Joe Fekete 43

David Castles 43

Tony Watson 39

Neil Dipple 36

Ron Cooksley 35

Cheran Sugathapala 34

Shane Franklin 33

Andrew Lowe 33

Paul Munro 32

Darren Bergwerf 32

Rod Crisfield 30

Jerome Purcell 30

David Fleming 25

Denis Hyslop 24

Michael Russo 23

Gary Percy 20

Warren Arnott 15

Geoff Goullet 15

Bernie Herbert 15

Michael Elliott 10

David Lee 10

Michael Meaney 5

Lloyd Jordan 5

Adam Major 5

Cock Tony Watson

Chall 1 Stuart Kent

Chall 2 Dean Glatzer

Emer 1 Ron Cooksley

Emer 2 Rod Crisfield

Michael Elliott

Ken Stevens

Ian Falconer

Bernie Herbert

Stuart Ray

Wes Bucci

Matt Wallis

Warren Arnott

Denis Hyslop

Steve Thiele

Gary Percy

Bob Laurie

Mark Otten

Darren Bergwerf

David Mackel

Michael Russo

Peter Wright

Shayne Elso

John Glancy

Paul Munro

Joe Fekete

Brett Cathcart

Adam Major

Cheran Sugathapala

Tyron Dennis

Justin Rossely

Larry Adami

Geoff Goullet

Shane Franklin

David Fleming

Jason Cooksley

David Castles

Lloyd Jordan

Neil Dipple

Jerome Purcell

Robert Laurie

Andrew Robertson

Les Major

Michael Meaney

Brenden Schuring

Andrew Lowe

Andrew Manning

David Lee

Jason Bowyer

Name New Var

Larry Adami 33

Warren Arnott 21

Darren Bergwerf 17

Jason Bowyer 16 1

Wes Bucci 25 1

David Castles 15 1

Brett Cathcart 29

Jason Cooksley 29

Ron Cooksley 36

Rod Crisfield 19 -2

Tyron Dennis 32

Neil Dipple 20 1

Michael Elliott 19

Shayne Elso 33 2

Ian Falconer 19 1

Joe Fekete 28 1

David Fleming 36 1

Shane Franklin 25

John Glancy 19 1

Dean Glatzer 16

Geoff Goullet 26

Bernie Herbert 29 1

Denis Hyslop 21

Lloyd Jordan 23

Stuart Kent 19

Bob Laurie 10

Robert Laurie 13

David Lee 20

Andrew Lowe 28

David Mackel 24

Adam Major 26

Les Major 20

Andrew Manning 7

Michael Meaney 23

Paul Munro 16

Mark Otten 21

Gary Percy 27

Jerome Purcell 24

Stuart Ray 29

Andrew Robertson 3

Justin Rossely 32

Michael Russo 23

Brenden Schuring 13 1

Ken Stevens 22 1

Cheran Sugathapala 34

Steve Thiele 17 1

Matt Wallis 16

Tony Watson 34

Peter Wright 17 -1

What a disappointment! Turned up at the airport with my kilt and

sporran only to be told that the St Andrews I wanted was in Rye.

What a bummer. Was looking forward to perving on some of those

Scottish lasses.

Never mind: when I got to the right St Andrews, Well what a place – picturesque, serene and

oh so quite and then those bloody Foothills blokes arrived.

However before I start on the golf the President has asked the mole to garner ideas from

members on how the club can cover an invoice recently received for carbon emissions. It

seems that Joe Fekete has come to the attention of the government who in turn have im-

posed a emissions tax of $4000.00 on the club for Joes discharges –( for those considering the

idea of a cork, forget it, too much volume which could lead to a serious injury to someone

stranding behind.)

Now to the golf. First the cock. Lots of crows on the first I thought, but no, it was Manning

screaming at the crows in their language, as not one but two of his tee shots headed deep

into Mole country. Nice 11 on the 1st Mumbles .The 11 cost him the cock as he only finished

2 strokes behind after 18 holes. So Tony Watson keeps hold of his cock for another month.

Tony's head just keeps getting bigger and bigger the longer he holds it, so for goodness sake

can someone please take it out of his hands (lots of innuendo here) Jason Bowyer also chal-

lenged but the less said about his game the better.

Andrew Robertson did what was suggested last month and took a very long drive. Unfortu-

nately for Foothills members who are sick of the sight of this guy, his long drive was to St An-

drews, not in the opposite direction which was the intention. Once again his name appeared

on the leader board with 34 points (off 3) which was good enough for 3rd. 2nd overall was

Norm with 35 points and the winner of the day was Rod ―early starts piss me off‖ Crisfield

with 36 points. Golfer of the Month went to Andrew Robertson but only cause he doesn‘t

drink and the wine went towards committee drinks at the following meeting?

Nearest the pins were Andrew Robertson (there‘s that bloody name again) on the 4th, Rob

Lawrie on the 6th, Jason Cooksley on the 11th (I bet he bent Ron‘s ear on the way home about

what a great shot he played ) and David ―Sand ―Castles on the 16th.

David Fleming again was the winner of the prestigious NAGA with 9 points

Shane ―Benjamin‖ Franklin won the longest drive. Nice whack Shane- nearly got the Mole on

the scone!

Joke of the week. Virgil was overheard talking to Mark Otten

Virgil ―I just got a new set of clubs for the wife‖ Mark ―Great trade!‖

Until Moonah

I am the

MITH

Mole In hole

St Andrews

Beach Photos

They say pictures speak a thousand words.

Shane and his dad enjoying the day..

After a Member was fined at the St Andrews Beach game for ‗relieving himself‘ twice on the course (Yes—

you Andrew M), David Castle was concerned the natural beauty of forest & fauna was at risk and researched

for a suitable solution, the solution follows the Victoria Parks slogan—‘What you take into the park goes

home with you……..‘

If anyone is interested in saving the environment this product can be found at WWW.UROCLUB.COM