are you 'leaking' what you feel?
TRANSCRIPT
Feelings involved in communication
FRUSTRATION
IRRITATIONFEAR DOUBT
ANGER
IMPATIENCESURPRISE
DISGUST
ANXIETY
STRESS
SADNESS
Where do you get them?PresentationsGiving feedbackReceiving feedbackConflict situationsCoachingParentingNegotiating….
What happens?• The older parts of our brain bypass rational thinking•Chemistry takes over our body• The obvious symptoms• Sweating• Blushing• Stuttering • Muscles tightening
• The more subtle symptoms• Micro expressions• Leakage in face, hands, body, speech and eyes.
So what?
We are- by nature- designed to interpret the body language we spot & react to it
Bottom line = a loopOthers see
YOUR change in body
language
They make a judgement &
adapt behavior
THEIR body
language changes
You spot that &
interpret
You change YOUR body language
What you need to get out of that loop…
1. Learn what leaking means
2. Find out how you leak
3. Deal with it
1. Baseline & leaking: what?
COMMUNICATION
BODY WORDS SOUND
NO STRESS? STRESS?
BASELINE DEVIATION FROM BASELINE = LEAKAGE
2.How do we leak stress?
Words• Speeding up (over 180 WPM)• Building complex sentences (2 or more parallel strings)•Using big words •Using filler words (euh…, so…, anyway…)• Babbling
2.How do we leak stress?
Sound• Losing voice power• Speaking louder than usual• Trembling voice
2.How do we leak stress?
Eyes• Taking one person hostage • Evasive•Disconnected eye contact• Fugitive eye contact
2.How do we leak stress?
Hands•Rubbing• Steepling•Caressing• Scratching• In hips•Arms crossed•…
2.How do we leak stress?Micro- expressions (see also Paul Ekman)• Sadness• Happiness• Contempt• Disgust• Surprise• Fear• Anger
3. How can you deal with it?
Words• Speak in short & simple sentences• If you tend to speed up, sit down.•Replace filler words with a silence
3. How can you deal with it?
Eyes•Pretend you are talking to 1 person at a
time•When in front of an audience, apply the
pop corn technique• Identify a couple of friendly faces and
alternate between them
3. How can you deal with it?
Hands• Give them something to do: point, hold something• Plant buddy’s near to you:• Lean on a chair- get’s shoulders & stress down• Use the flip chart- gives you something to walk to when stressed• Use a table: have it near you and go sit on it when stressed
•Whatever you can do with them that looks ‘relaxed’
If you want to find out how you leak stress…
ASK FOR A VIDEO
ANALYSIS