Argumentative EssaysFormat & LanguageModel essay on Captivity of Marine Mammals

Upper Sec EL Teacher Slides

Marine mammals should not be kept in Marine mammals should not be kept in captivity. captivity.

Do you agree?Do you agree?

The QuestionThe Question

Let’s watch a video on dolphins to better understand the situation…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=re10G__-EiI

Life for captive whales and dolphins is nothing like a life in the wild sea. Marine mammals are a part of nature and should not be bought, sold or thrown in an aquarium. I believe that I believe that they have the right to be kept in their they have the right to be kept in their natural environment and not be held natural environment and not be held in captivity.in captivity.

State your opinion in the introductory paragraph!

Introduction – 1st paraIntroduction – 1st para FORMAT

I have many convincing reasons to support my opinion. Captivity causes many health problems in marine mammals. Many tanks have water full of chemicals and bacteria; this results in blindness and many skin problems in dolphins and other marine mammals. Marine mammals in captivity die from pneumonia, ulcers and other stress-related diseases. Most of these helpless creatures suffer from boredom. Dolphins in the wild can swim up to 40-100 miles per day but in pools they go around swimming repetitive patterns. Due to boredom and limited space many dolphins abuse themselves; they often bang their heads against tank and aquarium walls.

Argument 1

Topic sentence

Body – 2nd para: Argument 1Body – 2nd para: Argument 1

Evidence/ Explanation /Examples to support Argument 1

FORMAT

Topic Sentence: basically tells what the rest of the paragraph is about. All sentences after it have to give more information about the sentence, prove it by offering facts about it, or describe it. 

Some of these poor innocent creatures face abusive treatment by their caretakers, thus shortening their life span. In fact, Keiko, the killer whale, the star of Free Willy, was a victim of this type of abuse. It was known to be said that he was 1000 pounds underweight and developed a wartlike disease. His teeth were ground down from chewing the sides of the pool due to boredom and he had a problem with his dorsal fin.

Body – 3rd para: Argument 2Body – 3rd para: Argument 2 FORMAT

Argument 2

Topic sentence

Example to support Argument 2

Marine mammals breed very poorly in captivity with very high infant death rates. For this reason, when a baby dolphin is born into captivity, its birth is usually kept a secret from its mother until it shows signs of survival. Marine mammals do breed in captivity, but the birth rate in captivity is not as successful as in the wild.

Body – 4th para: Argument 3Body – 4th para: Argument 3 FORMAT

Argument 3

Topic sentence

Supporting evidence to support Argument 3

Many people think that marine mammals should remain in captivity. I realise that some people may believe that captivity increases the life span of certain animals, but the truth is if these creatures are so happy in captivity, why do they die so fast? Captivity shortens animal life spans, not increases them. Wild dolphins can live 40 years in the wild and orcas can live 90 years, but when held in captivity they rarely survive their teens. Twenty-three out of 25 orcas have died in captivity. Some people think that holding animals in captivity helps in study and research. But the truth is scientists prefer to learn about animals in their natural environment so they get firsthand knowledge.

Body – 5th para: Counter-Argument Body – 5th para: Counter-Argument

FORMAT

Opposing Argument

What is the point of an “opposing argument”?

Why oppose your own opinion?

To show that you do have a balanced view

of the issue.

Many people think that marine mammals should remain in captivity. I realise that some people may believe that captivity increases the life span of certain animals, but the truth is if these creatures are so happy in captivity, why do they die so fast? Captivity shortens animal life spans, not increases them. Wild dolphins can live 40 years in the wild and orcas can live 90 years, but when held in captivity they rarely survive their teens. Twenty-three out of 25 orcas have died in captivity. Some people think that holding animals in captivity helps in study and research. But the truth is scientists prefer to learn about animals in their natural environment so they get firsthand knowledge.

Body – 5th para: Counter-Argument Body – 5th para: Counter-Argument

FORMAT

Counter argument to the opposing argument

Counter argument = facts you use to show that the opposing argument

is not valid

In conclusion, I think marine mammals should definitely not be held in captivity. I think Ghandi said it best when he mentioned, “The greatness of a nation and its moral process can be measured by the way its animals are treated.” In a world where much of nature and the wild has already been lost to us, it is up to us to let these beautiful marine mammals free.

Conclusion – Final paraConclusion – Final para FORMAT

Restate your opinion

Call for action by readers

Life for captive whales and dolphins is nothing like a life in the wild sea. Marine mammals are a part of nature and should not be bought, sold or thrown in an aquarium. I believe that they have the right to be kept in their natural environment and not be held in captivity.

LANGUAGEWhat TENSE is used throughout?What TENSE is used throughout?

Use PRESENT TENSE

Some of these poor innocent creatures face abusive treatment by their caretakers, thus shortening their life span. In fact Keiko, the killer whale, the star of Free Willy, was a victim of this type of abuse. It was known to be said that he was 1000 pounds underweight and developed a wartlike disease. His teeth were ground down from chewing the sides of the pool due to boredom and he had a problem with his dorsal fin.

What tense should be used in the supporting explanations e.g. Paragraph 3?

What tense should be used in the supporting explanations e.g. Paragraph 3?

LANGUAGE

Past tense is used here because the writer

is writing about an incidentthat is already over

In my opinion there is no doubt that marine mammals should not be held in captivity. Marine mammals are a part of nature and should not be bought, sold or thrown in an aquarium. I believe that they have the right to be kept in their natural environment.

LANGUAGEThe underlined phrases are known as…The underlined phrases are known as…

Words of belief- Words to showthat you believe in what you are writing

Other examples of words of belief:

I am convinced, definitely, certainly, I am certain, surely, I strongly believe etc

I have many convincing reasons to support my opinion. Captivity causes many health problems in marine mammals. Many tanks have water full of chemicals and bacteria; this results in blindness and many skin problems in dolphins and other marine mammals. Marine mammals in captivity die from pneumonia, ulcers and other stress-related diseases. Most of these helpless creatures suffer from boredom. Dolphins in the wild can swim up to 40-100 miles per day but in pools they go around swimming repetitive patterns. Due to boredom and limited space many dolphins abuse themselves; they often bang their heads against tank and aquarium walls.

LANGUAGEWhat effect do these underlined words have on you?What effect do these underlined words have on you?

These are known as emotive words – they bring out some feelings in the readers.

Purpose – to cause readers to feel strongly for what the writer is arguing about.

Some of these poor innocent creatures face abusive treatment by their caretakers, thus shortening their life span. In fact Keiko, the killer whale, the star of Free Willy, was a victim of this type of abuse. It was known to be said that he was 1000 pounds underweight and developed a wartlike disease. His teeth were ground down from chewing the sides of the pool due to boredom and he had a problem with his dorsal fin.

Highlight examples of emotive words in Paragraph 3. Highlight examples of emotive words in Paragraph 3.

LANGUAGE

• A Rhetorical question is a question that has an obvious answer.

• Purpose: To force the reader to think about that question / issue.

• Eg. Could dolphins possibly be happy swimming in the same tank day after day?

You obviously don’t need to answer this question but itforces the reader to think about this image and he/she would most likely support your opinion.

Use Rhetorical QuestionsUse Rhetorical Questions