History of Arranged Marriage

ARRANGED MARRIAGE VS LOVE MARRIAGE

History of Arranged MarriageHistory of Arranged MarriageJoseph Campbell in his book The Power of Myththe concept of marriage of romantic love did not exist in Europe before 12thcentury.Elizabethan period (15581603) The religious life or married life was the only optionsRegardless of their social status and position women and men were expected to marry. During that time, single women are thought to be witches by their neighbors.

Past: Elizabethan periodElizabethan women were expected to bring a dowry (mahr) to the marriage an amount of money, goods, or even property as her marriage portion. After marriage, they were expected to run the households and bring birth. Effectually became his propertyIn the Elizabethan era, it was common for parents in high society to arrange marriages among their children to ensure that they continued the economic status and descentsParents of the bride would ordinarily offer their daughter to the son of a family of the same economic status.

Past: India and JapanIn India, they rely on arranged marriages traditional caste system prohibits them from mixing. In Japan, arranged marriage was initially practiced by the Samurai in the 16th centuryas a means to secure influence and position. Approximately 30 percent of marriages in Japan are the arranged marriages called omiai (Japanese: ) by the end of 20th century.

Past: TaiwanThey would sell a young daughter to a richer family for labor is called Shim-pua marriage (Taiwanese:sim-p-), the poorer family would be married into the family of richer through the daughter. Shim-puamarriage fell out of practice in the 1970s due to economic flourishment.

Modern Arranged MarriageModern: IndiaParents will choose several possible candidates for their child.Although parents may employ pressure on their child to chose a certain candidate they favoredThe child must say their decision after meeting Educational and economic backgrounds are taken into attention by the parents. In modern 20th century India:it is possible to marry outside of the sub-caste, ones own language, or province as long as they are still within the same casteModern: PakistanIn certain tribal regions and rural areas there is a custom known as Pait Likkhi Urdu: , literally written on stomachAgreed to marry their children while they are still infants, or even before they are born. The actual marriage takes place when at their late teens or adults. Modern: PakistanThe second type is Watta satta Urdu: , literally give and takeExchange brides between two groups of different clans. In order for a family to arrange a marriage for their son, they must also have a daughter to be married in return. If there is no sister to exchange in return for a sons spouse, a distant relative is acceptable.

LOVE MARRIAGE

Two individuals care and love each other

norm in western countries = individual freedom and aspirations are more important than what the parents expect from a person.

Onus of choosing rests with the bride and groom

Typically love marriages occur between college friends/office colleagues.

ADVANTAGES

UNDER-STANDING

Easier for them share their opinions, problems and decisions.Is build when the couple is datingKnow the needs of each other

Known each otherPositive and negative points of your partner

As mental preparation When dispute arise, they will be able to handle it Prevent themselves from making their partner angry.happinessAll the family member will feel comfort and will be able to enjoy their love

Compared to A.M, happiness will come later.

Each will try their best to give comfort and happiness with each other-mutual love

freedomTo choose your partner/not marrying a total stranger

Nor coercion and pressure (parental pressure)

Become responsible running householdFamily tiesYou know each others family

Build a nice relationship with them

Helps in bonding well with in-laws before marriageDISADVANTAGES

LOVEPure love V Fake loveLove by desiring any other factors

Ex: beauty

2. Love with a lot of expectation

Ex: marry a rich guy and believe that you will life happily

Had not chosen wiselyIs not a result of careful deliberation

Do not think about the future/the possibility challenge in their matrimonial

Ex: economic problem

Lack of support from family memberThey do not like your partner

Parents usually very particular in choosing their son-in law but since love is blind, you might go against what your family want

At the end, no one will help went problem arise.

Tired of each otherLose interest

Try to seek the company of another person

Why ?

ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Marriage is built on a set of moral values and beliefs.a certain level of equality is achieved in these unions.

EXTENDED FAMILY SUPPORT

DISCOVERY AND DEVELOPMENT OF LOVE EVERY DAY

DISADVANTAGESOF ARRANGED MARRIAGEHIGH RISK OF ABUSIVE PARTNERS The couple might experience lack of privacy in their relationship due to the family closeness and interference by other relatives. It calls for an awkward situation if the couple is in an argument, and hence the entire family/ families might get involved even if they dont tend to.

Another big disadvantage is that the in-laws will most likely play a pretty huge role in one life. It is often said that if the in laws helped one to find a husband or wife, it is highly possible that theyll have a say in how the children should be raised, where to live and most other aspects of ones life. For some this is fine. For others, its a nightmare. Statistics show that meddling in-laws are a huge issue of contention in many marriages!

Arranged marriages are the cultural norm for many Muslims across the world. Men and women who are ready to get married may meet their future spouse through family or friends. Generally, since, Muslims do not date in the popular Western cultural sense. The traditional period of courtship is relative from culture to culture and family to family. After the initial introduction, some families grant the prospective groom and bride a chance to meet in private, under supervision. In addition, others allow them to get to know each other on the telephone, via text or email. Some families encourage the potential couple to go out in public, usually in a group setting.Arrange married is not force in IslamThe between force marriage and arrange married in IslamForced marriage occurs when a man or woman is coerced by the family to marry, using threats, emotional blackmail, fraud, and even bribes. Arranged against the person will be without consent or consent under duress. That is not a marriage in Islam.

Marriage is Islam requires ijab and a qubul (proposal and acceptance). Forcing a woman to marry a man means that there was no qubul, this is the right of a woman, regardless of her age. Without it the marriage is a sham, like living in zin.

Islamic ruling on marriageMarriage without consent

In the Shfi'i and anbali school of thought- the majority of scholars are of the view that if a woman is married off without her consent, then the marriage contract is invalid, because it is a forbidden contract which cannot be validated.According to the anafi school of thought, the contract is dependent upon the woman's acceptance. If she gives her consent then it is valid, otherwise she may annul it. See al-Mughni, 7/364; Fath al-Bri, 9/194

If the son or daughter likes someone elseIbn Muflih al-anbali (may Allh have mercy on him) said: The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone he does not want.Shaykh Ibn Tayymiyyah said: Neither of the parents has the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses, he is not sinning by disobeying them, because no one has the right to force him to eat food he finds off-putting when there is food that he wants to eat, and marriage is like that and more so. Food that one is forced to eat is unpleasant for a short while, but a forced marriage lasts for a long time, and it harms a person and he cannot leave it. Al-Adb al-Shar'iyyah (1/447)

Concerning a minor According to Mufti E. Desai, since Islm does not allow a minor to conduct business or make financial decisions for himself or herself, a marital contract of a minor falls under the same premise. However Islm does not give a father the right to use his children's wealth without their permission, so how can he be allowed to decide, without the daughter's permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees.

Concerning a young woman or a widow or divorcee Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: A previously married woman may not be married without her command, and a never married woman may not be married without her permission; and permission for her is to remain silent. (Al-Bukhri, Muslim, and others) The exegis of this Prophetic tradition is that if she does not speak up that means that she is giving consent. A wali (close male relative) is a command-executor in the case of the previously married woman, and is permission-seeker in the case of a never-married woman.

Choose correctly ! Thanks for the attention