Art StewartCoordinator of Mediation

VDOE

What are we doing when we negotiate?How is it different from any other

conversation?

What is our purpose in negotiation?

What do we want to do at the close of any successful negotiation?

Concepts to keep in mindZOPA: zone of possible agreement

BATNA: best alternative to a negotiated agreement

WATNA: worst alternative to a negotiated agreement

Variability of value

Interests and positions

What are the hallmarks of a good negotiator?What qualities are you confident that you

now have?

Which ones do you want to work on further?

Preparing for NegotiationsThink about what has led you to any

conclusions and share that.What is the best thinking of people who know

the student?Is the student making progress? If so, what is

the real evidence?How can you reduce your objective to

something unambiguous, recognizable and easy to communicate?

What makes some negotiations difficult?The view that there is only one acceptable

outcomeTrading conclusions rather than defining and

exploring the issuesBroken trustToo much ego involvementSpoilersHistory of unsuccessful meetingsUnrealistic expectationsHighly charged emotions

Common parent complaints about meetingsThe decision was made before the meeting.People walked in and out of the meeting.The meeting started late.There were side conversations.The discussion went off in tangents.I didn’t feel listened to.

How does conflict affect people?Collapse of timeAdoption of adversarial stanceLoss of trustFeeling defensiveBecoming inflexibleDistorting incoming information to fit our

judgementsWe guess at each other’s motives

What bias do we bring to the table?Seeking premature closureRecent events seem to have occurred more

oftenEmotionally charged events seem to have

occurred more recentlyAnchoringSimplifying

How can you approach highly conflicted negotiations?Don’t take the tone or complaints personallyAvoid becoming defensive Give your responses a personal rather than

an institutional flavorLook for the feeling and the need in the

complaintFind the positive subtext in the negative

account

Recognize and emphasize common groundWork through one issue at a timeAsk questions to clarify and exploreBe alert to shiftsTiming is everythingBuild the team at the table

Dealing with Emotional IssuesIf we don’t acknowledge the emotions, we are

not honoring or dealing with them.

When we honor emotions, things shift.

It reduces tension and helps us find balance.

Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence is “the ability to

perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”

Mayer and Salovey

Using EI in NegotiationsEmotionally intelligent negotiators think with

emotions and about emotions throughout the negotiation process.

Aspiration levels define what people want to achieve. For an offer to be perceived by the other party as cooperative rather than competitive, it needs to be presented with a reason perceived to be logical.

How do we bring change and opportunity?Determine why they want what they wantUse hypotheticalsReframe what you have heardAsk about fearsEngage people’s values as you entertain

possible outcomes.Develop principles or criteria for a good

outcomeAvoid engaging people’s standard central

processing

What intangibles do people value highly?ListeningValidationRespectPraiseHelpGood humor and flexibilityGenuine concern for their welfare

How to overcome impasseRemove barrier hypothetically

Don’t take “no” for an answer

Change the process

Be flexible about what constitutes an agreement