as good as it gets.doc
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AS GOOD AS IT GETS
by
Mard Andrus
And
James L. Brooks
Story by
Mark Andrus
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an
enormously SWEET!A"E#$ EL#E% WOMAN steps out$ bun&led up
a&ainst t'e (old turnin& ba(k to (all inside to t'e
unseen lo)e o* 'er lon& li*e.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
+,m -ust &oin& to &et some
*lowers$ dear. +,ll be ba(k in
twenty minutes. +t,s tulip season
today. +,m so 'appy.
And now s'e turns and *a(es t'e 'allway... 'er sweetness
dissol)es in a *las'... repla(ed by repulsion and t'at
ui(kly s'e 'as re)ersed 'ersel* and reentered 'erapartment... (losin& t'e door as we (onsider 'er )a(ated.
POV - MELVIN UDALL
in t'e 'allway... Well past /0... unliked$ unlo)ed$
unsettlin&. A 'u&e pain in t'e ass to e)eryone 'e,s e)er
met. %i&'t now all 'is (onsiderable talent and stren&t'
is totally *o(used on sedu(in& a tiny do& into t'e
ele)ator door 'e 'olds open.
MELVIN
"ome 'ere$ sweet'eart... (ome on.
ON DOG
Sni**in& at a parti(ular spot on t'e 'all (arpetin&.
Mel)in lets t'e ele)ator door (lose and ad)an(es on t'e
mutt w'o 'as i&nores 'im.
MELVIN
Wanna &o *or a ride1 Okay$
sweetie1
T'e do& li*ts 'is le& at t'e pre(ise moment Mel)in lun&es
and pi(ks 'im up wit' a de(isi)e 'e*t so t'at do&
urine suirts t'e 'all wall *or a se(ond or two. T'e #OG
sensin& a kindred spirit starts to G%OWL and BA%2.
MELVIN3a male)olent tone4
5ou,)e pissed your last *loor$ you
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do&eared monkey.
T'e do& takes a snap at Mel)in$ but t'e man is mu('
meaner and ui(ker t'an t'e do& 'e 'olds 'is snout
s'ut wit' 'is 'and and rea('es *or t'e door o* t'e
&arba&e ('ute.
MELVIN+,ll bet you wis' you were some
sort o* real do& now$ 'u'1 #on,t
worry... t'is is New 5ork. +* you
(an make it 'ere$ you (an make it
anyw'ere$ you know1 5ou u&ly$
smelly *u(k.
And wit' t'at$ 'e stu**s 'im in t'e &arba&e ('ute and
lets &o. We 'ear a !A#+NG SE%+ES o* 6LEA#+NG 7ANOOOOS7
*rom t'e #OG *ade to not'in&ness... as anot'er apartment
door opens emittin& t'e loud sounds o* a 6A%T5 and S+MON
N5E$ early 80s. Simon 'as been born and raised wit'
Got'i( 'orror and it,s stran&e t'at w'at t'at stew o*
trauma 'as produ(ed is a &i*ted$ de(ent man.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
!ranti(... 'e bolts into t'e 'all... Mel)in is -ust about
to enter 'is apartment.
SIMON
9erdell:1:: ;ere$ &ood do&&ie...
;e noti(es Mel)in at t'e *ar end o* t'e 'all.
SIMON
Mr.
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Simon 'as 'ad it.
SIMON
!rank Sa('s Mel)in
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INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL - NIGHT
A &roup o* 6A%T5 GOE%S enters *ollowed by a ;AN#5MAN
'oldin& 9erdell w'o looks and *inds?
SIMON
w'o looks up li&'ts up and tears up as 'e mo)es
ui(kly toward t'e &roup and 'is do&.
SIMON
T'ank t'e &ood Lord... wow... my
'oney... w'ere 'a)e you been1
PARTY GOER
3t'inkin& t'e &reetin&,s
*or 'im4
;e always liked me.
As Simon &oes past 'im to take t'e do& *rom t'e
;andyman... JA"2+E$ !rank,s -unior partner$ barkin& a
lau&' at t'e 6arty Goer 9E%#ELL BA%2+NG some lo)e. As
t'e ot'ers &reet Simon$ Ja(kie dire(ts t'e &roup inside.
Ja(kie lin&ers$ lookin& on a**e(tionately as Simon pi(ks
some aw*ul$ sti(ky &unk *rom t'e do&,s body... 'e puts
9erdell down to rea(' *or 'is wallet t'e tiny #OG 5A6S
in protest.
SIMON
Just *or a se(ond$ okay1
T'e #OG 5A6S 7no.7 Simon$ deli&'ted$ pi(ks 'im up a&ain.
SIMON
3kissin& 'im on t'e mout'4
Look at 'im... w'ere was littlebaby1
HANDYMAN
3smilin&4
+n t'e basement &arba&e bin eatin&
diaper s'it.
Simon rea(ts t'en noti(es t'e ;andyman$ ton&ue in
('eek$ tryin& to suppress 'is amusement.
SIMON
Go a'ead$ Jo'n$ you earned your *un.
3lookin& at 9erdell4
;ow did 'e &et down in t'e
basement1 + mean e)en i* 'e &oton t'e ele)ator 'ow... 1
HANDYMAN
Maybe some ni(e nei&'bor s'o)ed
'im down t'e &arba&e ('ute.
SIMON
My God: No:
;e stares out... !rank *rustrated *ollowin&.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - OFFICE - NIGHT
@uiet sa*e -ust Mel)in,s )oi(e readin& aloud as 'ewrites.
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MELVIN
,Somew'at in t'e dark$ s'e 'ad
(on*essed and 'e 'ad *or&i)en.
T'is is w'at you li)e *or$ 'e
said. Two 'eads on a pillow w'ere
t'ere is only t'e sa*ety o* bein&
wit' ea(' ot'er. ;ow$ s'e
wondered$ (ould s'e *ind su(' 'opein t'e most s'ame*ul part o* 'er.,
;e barely rea(ts as we 'ear a LO
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SIMON
3eyes down(ast4
No$ + didn,t.
MELVIN
#o you like to be interrupt w'en
you are dan&in& around in yourlittle &arden1
SIMON
No... a(tually$ + e)en s'ut t'e
p'one o** and put a little pie(e
o* (ardboard in t'e rin&er so no
one (an -ust bu>> me *rom d...
MELVIN
Well$ + work all t'e time. So
ne)er$ ne)er a&ain interrupt me.
Okay1 + mean$ ne)er. Not 80
years *rom now... not i* t'ere,s
*ire. Not e)en i* you 'ear a t'ud
*rom inside my 'ome and a week
later t'ere,s a smell *rom in
t'ere t'at (an only (ome *rom a
de(ayin& body and you 'a)e to 'old
a 'anky a&ainst your *a(e be(ause
t'e sten(' is so t'i(k you t'ink
you,re &oin& to *aint e)en t'en
don,t (ome kno(kin& or$ i* it,s
ele(tion ni&'t and you,re e=(ited
and want to (elebrate be(ause some
*ud&epa(ker you dated 'as been
ele(ted t'e *irst ueer 6resident
o* t'e
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MELVIN (O.S.)
O'$ +,m pissed:: Now + am really
pissed:::
!rank waits patiently as Mel)in -erks 'is door ba(k open.
!rank immediately &rabs Mel)in by 'is s'irt and -erks 'im
*orward... Mel)in is s(ared. Operatin& on sur)i)al mode.
MELVIN
No tou('. No tou('. No tou('.
FRANK
5ou may t'ink you (an intimidate
t'e w'ole world wit' your
attitude$ but + &rew up in ;ell.
My &randmot'er 'ad more attitude.
5ou don,t intimidate me.
MELVIN
3(allin&4
6oli(e: 6oli(e: !u(kin& (rooked
poli(e... dou&'nutmun('in& morons
'elp me:
3to !rank4
Assault and battery and you,re
bla(k.
FRANK
S'''' now. + like Simon. + like
'im enou&' to batter you
unre(o&ni>able i* you )erbally
abuse 'im or so mu(' as tou(' 'is
do& a&ain. Meanw'ile$ +,ll try
and t'ink 'ow you (an make t'is up
to 'im.
3suddenly loud4
+ 'ate doin& t'is. +,m an artdealer.
3beat4
;a)e a ni(e day. 6arty:
;e tosses Mel)in ba(k and walks out. Mel)in strai&'tens
'is s'irt as 'e steps out into t'e 'all. !rank smiles as
'e reenters t'e ot'er apartment. Mel)in appears
impressed.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET NEAR CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
A (rowded and dirty street and 'ere (omes Mel)in. ;is
walk is brisk an animal wantin& to pass t'rou&' t'e
dan&er wit'out &i)in& o** t'e s(ent o* its mountin& *ear.
At times 'e pla(es 'is palms to&et'er and e=tends 'isarms (uttin& a pat' t'rou&' people. We will be )ery
pointed in t'e *a(t t'at 'e a)oids steppin& on (ra(ks.
CLOSER ON MELVIN
;is eyes *o(used on t'e terrain.
INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
ANGLE ON WAITRESS
"A%OL "ONNELL5 talks wit' anot'er MOT;E% a (ustomer.
5ou would not &uess it$ but 'er workin& 'ours tend to be
t'e most (are*ree time o* t'e day. S'e is tellin& astory about 'er son *or t'e umpteent' time.
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CAROL
3to t'e Mot'er,s
little &irl4
Look at you$ you,re all better.
MOTHER
+t,s t'at new medi(ation.
CAROL
5ou know all my son,s stu**$
ri&'t1
T'e Mot'er nods too sympat'eti(ally t'at s'e does$ but
"arol interrupts 'er.
CAROL
No$ no$ no$ + &ot a date toni&'t.
+,m walkin& out t'e door t'is
mornin& and 'e says to me$ ,Mom$
+ promise not to &et one o* my
*e)ers or (ou&'s durin& your
date.,
MOTHER
+sn,t t'at sweet.
CAROL
Little blonde an&le.
3to ('ild$
a**e(tionately4
Eat e)eryt'in&.
Mel)in enters and mo)es past se)eral empty tables to a
table towards t'e ba(k and is ob)iously surprised to *ind
a MAN and WOMAN sittin& at t'e table.
WOMAN+t -ust (ame out o* me. + said
you lo)e me t'e way a remote
(ontrol lo)es a T9. As lon& as +
swit(' e)ery time...
HER MALE COMPANION
Wonder*ul.
MELVIN
6eople w'o talk in metap'ors (an
s'ampoo my (rot('.
3on t'eir look4
Eat up.
T'ey turn away Mel)in walks a *ew pa(es to t'ewaitress station w'ere two waitresses$ L+SA and "A%OL$
are talkin&.
LISA
6ay me ba(k ne=t week.
CAROL
+ owe you. + told you today...
t'em,s t'e rules. O'$ e=(use me$
Mel)in.
S'e puts two 'ands li&'tly on 'is waist to mo)e 'im out
o* t'e way. ;e &ulps at t'e (onta(t 3sin(e no one else
e)er tou('es 'im4 but (o)ers 'is sel*(ons(iousness.
MELVIN
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+,m star)in&.
CAROL
3*irmly to Lisa4
Will you please take it1
Mel)in intentionally mo)es a step in 'er pat'$ wit'
stealt'$ so t'at s'e must tou(' 'im a&ain to &et 'im outo* t'e way...
LISA
T'is way you take a (ab 'ome so
you 'a)e time to &et ready *or t'e
date.
CAROL
7%eady7 is not my problem.
S'e barks a mirt'less t'ou&' 'earty lau&'. +* we (ould
read Mel)in w'i(' we (an,t$ we,d see 'im unsettled by t'e
date talk. To "arol 'e is as 'armless as *urniture.
CAROL
3to Mel)in4
Go sit down. 5ou know you,re not
allowed ba(k 'ere... Spen(er,s
more e=(ited about it t'an + am...
;e says$ 7Mom$ + promise not to
&et a *e)er or (ou(' durin& your date.7
T'e ot'er WA+T%ESSES and t'e S;O%T O%#E% "OO2 all &o
7awww.7
CAROL
+ know. ;e,s -ust t'e best.
MELVIN+,)e &ot Jews at my table.
CAROL
+t,s not your table. +t,s t'e
pla(e,s table. Be'a)e. T'is
on(e$ you (an sit at someone
else,s station.
T'e two waitresses si&nal t'eir protests.
CAROL
Or you (an -ust wait your turn...
Mel)in walks ba(k into t'e restaurant proper... 'e 'an&s
near t'eir table... 'is dis(om*ort builds in t'is limbo...t'en?
MELVIN
;ow mu(' more you &ot to eat1
5our appetite isn,t as bi& as
your noses$ is it1
WOMAN
W'at1::
MAN
3to Woman4
Let,s &o
T'e Woman starts to protest.
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MAN
Let,s lea)e. We,re &oin&.
Mel)in sits down at t'e table and takes *rom 'is
po(ket a plasti( eatin& utensil set wrapped and sealed.
As 'e opens 'is utensils.
CAROLBryan says 'e doesn,t (are 'ow
lon& you,)e been (omin& you e)er
a(t like t'is a&ain you,re barred
*or li*e. +,m &onna miss t'e
e=(itement$ but +,ll 'andle it.
T'ere is in "arol,s attitude toward Mel)in some
in&redient o* sel*satis*a(tion t'at s'e is t'e only
one in t'e pla(e w'o (an 'andle 'im. S'e starts to (lear
t'e table.
MELVIN
T'e table,s *ine i* it 'ad some
('olesterol on it. Two sausa&es$
si= ba(on strips$ *ries$ t'ree
e&&s o)er easy and (o**ee.
CAROL
5ou,re &onna die soon wit' t'at
diet$ you know t'at1
MELVIN
We,re all &onna die soon. + will.
5ou will. +t sure sounds like
your son will.
ON CAROL
Stunned. Some (ra>y street*reak 'as slipped under 'erper*e(t &uard and momentarily de)astated 'er. Mel)in
senses t'at 'e,s &one way too *ar. ;e wipes 'is kni*e.
CAROL
+* you e)er mention my son a&ain$
you will ne)er be able to eat 'ere
a&ain. #o you understand1 Gi)e me
some si&n you understand or lea)e
now. #o you understand me...
3adds trut'*ul label4
you (ra>y *reak1 #o you1:1
A beat and t'en Mel)in nods$ 'ardly breat'in& ba(kin&
down.
CAROL
Okay. +,ll &et your order.
S'e walks away. Mel)in wat('es 'er$ bitin& 'is lower
lip. ;e takes some napkins and (leans t'e table 'imsel*.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
S'e is underneat' a 5O
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Man stops and looks at 'er.
YOUNG MAN
W'at1
CAROL
+... +... + don,t know... 5ou &ot
me.
;is eyes try to burn into 'ers... S'e is &ettin& e=(ited
but doesn,t know 'ow to play it... ;e pus'es one o* t'e
*in&ers o* t'e 'and (aressin& 'er *a(e toward 'er
mout'... S'e (loses 'er teet'$ 'is *in&ers attempt
openin& 'er mout'. S'e stops 'im.
CAROL
Let me -ust do w'ate)er + do by
mysel*... +,ll (at(' up to you
somepla(e + promise.
3as 'e,s put o**4
O'$ no... don,t look like t'at.
No. +,m sorry i* +,m a &oo*.
And so wit' earnestness and (arin&$ s'e 'as trans*ormed
t'e se= into somet'in& more intimate and$ talk about
e&& in your beer$ 'otter. T'in&s are &ettin& wild w'en
we 'ear *rom t'e distan(e a ('ild$ S6EN"E%$ "ALL+NG and
COUGHING.
CAROL
2issin&... kissin& boys. O' my.
"arol pulls 'er 'ead away as Spen(er,s (all (ontinues.
SPENCER (O.S.)
3so*tly4
Grandma$ &randma...
YOUNG MAN
Maybe you better ('e(k.
CAROL
Like w'at did you t'ink + was
&oin& to do1
INT. HALLWAYBEVERLY'S ROOM - NIGHT
6ullin& 'ersel* to&et'er s'e &oes o** down t'e 'allway...
s'e du(ks 'er 'ead into t'e *irst bedroom w'ere 'er
mot'er$ BE9E%L5$ is listenin& to musi( on 'eadp'ones...
s'e takes t'em o** w'en s'e sees "arol$ t'en 'ears t'e
(ou&'.
BEVERLY
+,m sorry. + was 'earin& -ust
e)eryt'in& you were doin& so + put
t'ese on to &i)e you pri)a(y.
"arol now &oes into 'er son,s room.
INT. SPENCER'S ROOM - NIGHT
T'e room is a monument to 'orrible$ sleepless ni&'ts...
two dru&store de'umidi*yin& *ilters$ a nebuli>er
3breat'in& (ontraption4 a waste basket... a ni&'t stand
*illed wit' medi(ine$ a blood pressure kit... alon& wit'some sta(ks o* se)enyearold toys and a small T9 wed&ed
into t'e tiny spa(e.
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SPENCER
+,m sorry.
CAROL
#on,t be silly. ;ow bad1
SPENCERNot bad.
"arol *eels 'is 'ead... t'at,s okay. T'en 'e (ou&'s
tryin& to suppress it... t'en a bi&&er (ou&'... t'ey ea('
know w'at t'at si&nals... S'e brin&s up a waste basket as
'e t'rows up... s'e (om*orts 'im. ;e apolo&i>es. S'e
lo)es 'im.
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
As s'e reenters. ;e is takin& a (i&arette *rom a pa(k.
CAROL
3a bit pani(ked4
5ou (an,t smoke... ;e (an,t take
smoke.
;e palms t'e (i&arette resumes makin& out 'is 'and
suee>es 'er breast t'en 'e stops and looks at 'is
'and. S'e looks down and sees a bit o* t'rowup 'e
pi(ked up w'ile *eelin& 'er and t'en noti(es 'im lookin&
at 'er wit' e=treme distaste... S'e barks a lau&' to
(o)er 'er embarrassment but speaks t'e trut'.
CAROL
O'$ God... + don,t e)en noti(e
anymore.
S'e (rosses to t'e kit('en *or a dis'towel. Tries to makeli&'t.
CAROL
T'at,ll tea(' you.
YOUNG MAN
#on,t apolo&i>e.
CAROL
3perturbed4
T'at wasn,t an apolo&y.
S'e noti(es 'is demeanor 'ow 'e a)oids lookin& at 'er
'ow un(om*ortable 'e is.
CAROL
;ey... t'is is -ust a little t'row
up it,s not'in& to be so
embarrassed about. %eally.
3as 'e s'i*ts
un(om*ortably4
T'anks *or t'e dinner. Let me
write down w'i(' trains you take
to &et ba(k.
YOUNG MAN
No way.
S'e bri&'tens.
YOUNG MAN
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+,ll take a (ab.
S'e de*lates as 'e mo)es past 'er.
YOUNG MAN
Too mu(' reality *or a !riday
ni&'t.
EXT. HOLLAND TUNNEL - NIGHT
A (old ni&'t in 'ell. T'ree youn& men bulls'it near t'e
approa(' to t'e tunnel. T'eir names are 9+N"ENT$ E9AN
and #O
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is *or a paintin&. + need a
pretty *a(e.
"arl be(kons to 9in(ent w'o -oins 'im$ tryin& to (on(eal
'is pride at winnin& t'is lowest end o* beauty (ontest.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY
T'ere is a 2NO"2 at t'e door Simon (rosses to answer.
;e is more rela=ed t'an we,)e seen 'im a man at pea(e
'ummin& to 'is *a)orite musi($ talkin& to 'is do& w'o
s(rat('es at t'e door. Simon opens t'e door to 9in(ent.
SIMON
Sorry$ + was out in t'e studio
doin& some work and + *or&ot about
our appointment.
;e leads t'e way ba(k toward t'e studio ('attin& away
unaware t'at 9in(ent is disrobin& as 'e *ollows 'im
and eyein& t'e e=pensi)e apartment.
SIMON
+ usually make su(' a bi& deal out
o* pi(kin& models but "arl,s so
t'orou&'. +,ll bet 'e dro)e you
nuts ('e(kin& your re*eren(es.
And 'e turns and sees t'e naked model.
SIMON
3taken aba(k4
T'is isn,t a nude.
9in(ent mo)es ba(k to retrie)e 'is (lot'es.
VINCENTJust kiddin& around.
3t'en mutters4
So mu(' *or lo)e.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - STUDIO (MINUTES LATER)
9in(ent is strikin& blatantly se=ual poses to t'e
in(reasin&ly uneasy Simon.
SIMON
E=a(tly w'at is your pre)ious
e=perien(e1
VINCENT
;ow about t'at pose13sin&son&4
T'is is not *un...
3t'en4
Gi)e me some dire(tion.
9in(ent 'as instin(ti)ely put Simon on t'e de*ensi)e. ;e
tries not to s'ow it.
SIMON
Not'in&. + -ust wat(' till
somet'in& strikes me. #o anyt'in&
you t'ink o* try di**erent
t'in&.
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VINCENT
3tryin& anot'er spa(e4
T'e *a(t t'at you 'a)en,t said$
7'old it7 means + 'a)en,t done it
ri&'t... is t'at (orre(t1 +
'a)en,t done it ri&'t1
SIMONNo... Okay. W'at + do is wat('
and wait *or$ um... 5ou e)er wat('
someone w'o doesn,t know you,re
wat('in&... an old woman on a bus$
kids &oin& to s('ool and you see
t'is *las' (ome o)er t'em and you
know immediately t'at it 'as
not'in& to do wit' anyt'in&
e=ternal t'at it,s in respond
to a pri)ate t'ou&'t t'ey -ust
'ad1 T'ey are -ust sort o* realer
and more ali)e. And w'en you
noti(e it so are you. +* you look
at someone lon& enou&'$ you
dis(o)er t'eir 'umanity.
9in(ent,s sla(k-awed e=pression ('an&es. ;e *eels an
intelle(tual tin&le to be 'a)in& t'is (on)ersation.
VINCENT
+ know e=a(tly w'at you mean.
T'ere,s a -oy in 'im at t'is moment a bit o* purity.
SIMON
;old it.
9in(ent does so 'ums a bit o* 7Satis*a(tion7 to
(elebrate.
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
"arol and LESL+E$ anot'er waitress$ are waitin& *or t'eir
order at t'e (appu((ino bar. Leslie is tellin& t'e story
o* t'e traumati( audition w'i(' may 'a)e turned 'er li*e.
"arol is rapt.
As t'ey pass Mel)in s'e does not break stride$ nor &i)e
'im noti(e. T'ou&' s'e is aware o* 'im resent*ully so
'ard not to be sin(e 'e is &i)in& a moment to moment
(ommentary on 'er e)ery a(tion.
MELVIN
"lippity (lop (lippity (lop s'e 'as to pretend s'e doesn,t
'ear me. Listenin& to t'e story
*rom t'e upset *riend... now s'e
drops o** t'e (appu((ino and
smiles at t'e put>ette w'o doesn,t
e)en say$ 7T'ank you.7 No$ t'e
put>ette wanted t'e w'ipped (ream
so ba(k s'e &oes and now s'e 'as
to pass 'im a&ain and it,s &ettin&
tou&'er to make belie)e.
CAROL
3relu(tant *or&i)eness4
Okay.
Mel)in stops s'e passes be'ind 'im to deli)er an
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un('ara(teristi( rabbit pun('.
CAROL
W'at,s wit' t'e plasti( pi(ni(
ware1 W'y not try ours... a*raid
it isn,t (lean1
MELVIN+ see t'e 'elp -ud&ement (all.
CAROL
Just &i)e yoursel* a little pep
talk. 7Must try ot'er people,s
(lean sil)erware as part o* t'e
*un o* dinin& out.7
MELVIN
W'at,s wron& wit' your son$
anyway1
CAROL
W'at do you (are1
Mel)in -ust looks at 'er.
CAROL
;e,s &otta *i&'t to breat'e.
;is ast'ma (an -ust s'oot o** t'e
('arts 'e,s aller&i( to dust
and t'is is New 5ork and 'is
immune system bails on 'im w'en
t'ere,s trouble so an ear
in*e(tion... +s t'is bot'erin&
you1
MELVIN
3(au&'t4No.
CAROL
An ear in*e(tion (an send us to
t'e emer&en(y room maybe *i)e$
si= times a mont' w'ere + &et
w'ate)er nineyearold t'ey -ust
made a do(tor. Ni(e ('attin& wit'
you.
MELVIN
;is name1
CAROL
Spen(er.
MELVIN
Okay.
CAROL
3uietly4
Spen(e.
S'e e=its.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - STUDIO - DAY (SEVERAL WEEKS LATER)
T'e &reen'ouse studio is a busy san(tuary$ as Simon puts
t'e *inis'in& tou('es on 'is paintin& o* 9in(ent. A beatand t'en a stran&e *i&ure (rosses between t'e "AME%A and
t'e s(ene &one be*ore we (an e=amine 'im *urt'er.
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SIMON
5ou (an put on anyt'in& you want
now. + mi&'t be sort o* done
'ere...
9in(ent ui(kly and e=pertly pi(ks a "# to meet 'is
immediate needs and puts it on dyin& a little at e)eryse(ond o* silen(e durin& t'e transition... t'en LOed.7
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
#ou& and E)an are nearly to t'e *ront door as 9E%#ELL
stops t'em wit' a )i(ious G%OWL and BA%2.
Simon is distra(ted lookin& down at 'is pet so t'at 'e
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(ontinues to walk toward #ou& and E)an$ not noti(in&
t'em 9in(ent$ terribly a*raid$ appears be'ind Simon.
SIMON
3to 9in(ent4
W'at,s t'e matter$ sweet'eart1
;e instantly stops. S'o(ked. !ro>en. ;is eyes on t'estran&er$ #ou&$ lookin& at 'im. Now 9in(ent (omes in.
#ou& &reets 'im.
DOUG
5o.
Simon turns to 9in(ent.
SIMON
W'y are you doin& t'is1
VINCENT
No. No. No. ;ey$ t'at paintin&
in t'ere... + -ust want to tell
you...
Now E)an appears 'oldin& a brass 'at ra(k.
EVAN
3to 9in(ent4
W'at are you doin&1 "ruisin& 'im1
And 'e uses t'e 'at ra(k *irst as a spear$ t'en as a
(lub$ as t'e brie* sa)a&e atta(k be&ins.
ON VERDELL
as 'e starts to &o toward Simon and t'en s(urries ba(k in
*ear. T'e t'ree atta(kers lea)e. Now silen(e. A sin&leBA%2 *rom 9E%#ELL.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - DUSK
A mass o* O!!+"+AL 6EO6LE (lutter t'e 'all as a &urney is
w'isked down to t'e ele)ator. +t,s impossible to tell i*
Simon is awake or dead. Mel)in is standin& a&ainst t'e
wall near 'is door a (op$ %A5$ inter)iewin& 'im.
RAY
Okay. So you (all D and don,t
lea)e your name e)en a dumb
&ee>er s'ould know t'at emer&en(y
automati(ally pulls up your name.
;ow (ome you make a mistake liket'at1
MELVIN
;ow (ome you,re pretendin& to do
(op work ,(ause + don,t t'ink
you (ould *ind your ass i* you
were spotted t'e 'ole.
RAY
3stunned4
W'at1
MELVIN
Just mo)e on. No one 'ere killed'im.
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RAY
O'$ is 'e dead1
MELVIN
Ask 'im.
RAY
We will i* we (an and i* we (an,t$we,ll (ome ba(k and ask you a&ain
and a&ain.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY -
ANOTHER ANGLE - NIGHT
!rank standin& upset$ an=ious$ 'oldin& a do& bowl$ a
leas' and 9E%#ELL$ w'o is more upset makin& pat'eti(
little "%5+NG SO
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Li*e$7 wit' its ('eer*ul w'istle re*rain. 9erdell looks
o)er wit' surprise and pleasure. But -ust as mood li*ts
and warmt' t'reatens$ Mel)in stops abruptly$ turns out
t'e li&'ts and e=its.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY
!rank on t'e p'one.
FRANK
3into p'one4
6ut t'e solid red dots on t'ree o*
t'em and t'e 'old blue dots on two
ot'ers... Well$ we,re not &oin& to
sell anyt'in& i* t'ey know we,re
two weeks into a s'ow and 'a)e no
sales. No$ you (an,t redu(e a
pri(e at t'is sta&e... We,re in
*ree *all 'ere. Any (alls1
!ACKIE
We (an see 'im.
FRANK
+,ll meet you in t'ere.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
As Ja(kie enters.
!ACKIE
;ow you doin&$ &reat one1
SIMON
+ 'a)en,t looked at mysel* yet. +
*i&ured + (ould tell *rom your
rea(tion.
;e turns toward 'er. Mu(' o* 'is body taped 'is
paintin& 'and wrapped. Simon,s *a(e is somet'in& o* a
'orror. Swollen$ one sa)a&e dis(olored (ut. We are into
yu((('''... T'e si&'t is a -olt. Ja(kie breaks into
tears... sobs$ a(tually.
SIMON
T'at bad$ 'u'1
T'ey s'are a 'elpless 'al*lau&' t'en !rank appears in
t'e doorway.
FRANK
;ey$ 'ey...3as 'e sees 'im4
;aaa... bad but temporary. T'e
nurses say it,s mu(' better t'an
you looked t'ree weeks a&o... t'e
'and will (ome ba(k... t'ey,re
sure...
SIMON
Ja(kie$ will you 'and me t'e
mirror1
!ACKIE
3a small )oi(e4
No.
S'e starts to 'and 'im a lar&e mirror *rom 'er purse
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t'en t'inks better o* it.
!ACKIE
Wait$ + 'a)e a smaller one.
But 'e 'olds out 'is 'and and s'e &i)es 'im t'e mirror
'e starts to look t'en t'inks better o* it.
SIMON
So$ w'at,s new anyway1 ;ow,s
9erdell1
FRANK
3s'eepis'4
5our nei&'bor
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CAROL
5ou,re not worried t'at someone
mi&'t take 'im1
MELVIN
Well$ not until now *or
"'rist,s sake.
CAROL
Sorry.
MELVIN
+t,s okay +,ll sit 'ere.
;e ('an&es tables *or t'e *irst time e)er so t'at 'e (an
keep an eye on 9erdell. "arol is ama>ed.
CAROL
5ou know 'e,s a little do&. Ne=t
time$ i* Bryan,s not 'ere$ you (an
brin& 'im in.
MELVIN
;ow old are you1
CAROL
O'$ please...
MELVIN
+* + 'ad to &uess by your eyes$
+,d say you were *i*ty.
"arol looks at 'im.
CAROL
And i* + 'ad to &uess by youreyes. +,d say you were kind. So$
so mu(' *or eyes. But as lon& as
you brin& up a&e... 'ow old are
you1
MELVIN
3ui(kly4
Ot'erwise$ you,re not u&ly.
CAROL
3lau&'s out loud4
Okay$ pal... + a((ept t'e
(ompliment$ but &o easy my
knees start akno(kin& w'en you
turn on t'e ('arm *ull blast.
MELVIN
W'at,s wit' t'e dark1
;e indi(ates t'e ba&s under 'er eyes by tappin& 'is own.
CAROL
#awn patrol ma-or dawn patrol.
My son 'ad a *ull blown atta(k.
And t'is time$ *or e=tra *un$ t'ey
&a)e us t'e wron& antibioti(s$ so
+ &et 'im 'ome...
S'e rea('es *or t'e plate o* uneaten ba(on 'e &oesnuts.
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MELVIN
No... no... lea)e it... t'e
ba(on,s *or t'e do&.
S'e is -olted by t'e insensiti)ity o* 'is interruption$
but 'e doesn,t noti(e$ turnin&$ almost ('atty.
MELVINLast week + was playin& t'e piano
*or 'im and 'e likes it$ and so +
de(ide +,m &oin& to make a little
-oke...
CAROL
5ou all set 'ere1
Mel)in nods a bit *rustrated about not bein& able to
*inis' 'is do& story. ;e po(kets t'e remainin& ba(on.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY
As Mel)in walks 9erdell ba(k 'ome$ we noti(e$ per'aps a
beat be*ore Mel)in$ a remarkably e)ent. 9erdell is
a)oidin& t'e (ra(ks in t'e sidewalk.
MELVIN
+t,s a beauti*ul day *or our walk.
Mel)in slows obser)es t'e do& mirrorin& 'is be'a)ior.
ON VERDELL
a&ain (are*ully pla(in& 'is paws to a)oid a (ra(k in t'e
sidewalk. Mel)in lau&'s out loud puts on plasti(
&lo)es 'urriedly so 'e (an li*t t'e do& to eye le)el.
MELVIN#on,t be like me$ don,t you be
like me. 5ou stay -ust t'e way
you are be(ause you are a per*e(t
man. +,m &onna take you 'ome and
&et you somet'in& to eat... w'at
you lo)e.
ANOTHER ANGLE
FEMALE PASSERSBY
3('armed4
O'''. +,d like to be treated like
t'at.
MELVIN3all smiles to 9erdell4
Let,s &o 'ome and do some writin&.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Mel)in w'alin& away at 'is (omputer$ readin& to 'imsel*
wit' &reat satis*a(tion as 'e &oes.
9erdell sits at 'is ('air$ *as(inated by t'e speed o* 'is
master,s *in&ers on t'e keyboard. ;e reads 'is writin&
aloud to t'e do&.
MELVIN
7;e turned o** t'e &as -ets and(arried 'er outside. ;e kissed
'er brow and w'en 'er eyes opened
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and *ound 'im$ 'e said$ ,t'ere are
easier ways to break a date., S'e
lau&'ed. T'e only sensible
ambition 'e 'ad e)er known was now
reali>ed. ;e 'ad made t'e &irl
'appy. And w'at a &irl. ,5ou,)e
sa)ed my li*e$, s'e said$ ,you,d
better make it up to me.,7
E='ilarated by 'is own words$ 'e s'uts down t'e ma('ine...
MELVIN
3sin&in& to 9erdell4
#one:
3playin& wit' 'im some4
5es$ + 'ate t'e do&&y... yes$ +
'ate t'e do&&y.
;e e=its.
MELVIN (V.O.)
Si=tytwo books... done:
As t'e do& &oes s'ootin& o** to t'e kit('en we lea)e our
(ouple,s play time *or...
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - BEDROOMLIVING ROOMHALLWAY - DAY
As t'e rookie in)alid awakens in pre(isely t'e same *oul
mood 'e,d 'ad on *allin& asleep. +n t'e li)in& room$ t'e
maid$ NO%A$ is talkin& wit' Ja(kie we (at(' only a *ew
words as t'ey re)iew Simon,s mountin& pile o* bills and
talk o* 'ow lon& Nora (an stay on.
INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY
!rank kno(kin& on Mel)in,s door. ;e opens it.
FRANK
;ow,s 9erdell doin&1
MELVIN
;e,s a pain in t'e ass.
As 'e looks o)er at t'e do&$ 9erdell trots o)er and$
wit'out reali>in& it$ Mel)in smiles at 'im to !rank,s
surprise.
FRANK
Simon,s 'ome. + was sort o*
'opin& you (ould keep t'e do&
until 'e,s 'ad a ('an(e to t'inkand ad-ust...
MELVIN
3leapin& at t'e ('an(e4
+t,s been *i)e weeks... anot'er
*ew won,t kill me.
FRANK
No. ;e wants 'im ba(k. ;e,ll be
by tomorrow.
MELVIN
3too loudly$ weirdly4
Okay by me.
!rank e=its.
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INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Mel)in sits 9erdell looks up at 'im. Mel)in walks to
t'e door. ;e turns t'e lo(k... t'en ('e(ks t'at t'ey are
lo(ked... ('e(ks a&ain to make sure 'e turned t'em in t'e
(orre(t dire(tion... turns *rom t'e door... t'en ba(k to
('e(k on(e more. And a&ain... and a&ain... an&uis'ed$until now 'e breaks brie*ly$ t'e do& lookin& on.
INT. NEW YORK BUILDING - MELVIN'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY
Mel)in opens t'e door looks at t'e s(arred Simon in a
w'eel('air and s'udders...
MELVIN
T'at,s some *a(e t'ey le*t 'an&in&
on you. 5ou look like...
SIMON
3interruptin&4
"ould you take it -ust a little
easy$ Mr.
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you e)eryt'in&.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
MELVIN'S POV
9erdell,s towel on t'e *loor near 'is bowl.
BACK TO SCENE
Mel)in,s lips (ompress... 'e sits on t'e piano ben(' and
'its a *ew keys... looks at 9erdell,s empty spot a&ain...
t'ere are t'ose w'o 7&et t'e -oke7 Mel)in is (learly
one 'e lau&'s suddenly and 'elplessly e)en as 'e *eels
t'e pani( rise in 'im...
... all 'is painstakin& su((ess in keepin& t'e lid on and
now it t'reatens to blow *or a reason 'e arti(ulates.
MELVIN
O)er t'e do&... an u&ly do&.
+t,s 'ilarious. But now t'e 'umor detours. An a(tual
sob is ('oked ba(k... 'e &ets up *ollowin& a de*inite
pattern a(ross t'e room. ;e is (ondu(tin& a small but
'i&'eststakes *i&'t *or sur)i)al. Momentarily a s(ared$
beaten middlea&ed man 'e ra(es out t'e door.
EXT. NYC STREETS - DAY
Mel)in ('ar&in& as *ast as (ra(k ('e(ks allow and t'en
turnin& into a buildin& wit' a (opper si&n readin&
7Grammer(y 6ark 6sy('iatri( Group.7
MELVIN
Worst sidewalk in New 5ork and
look w'ere t'ey put in.
INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE - DAY
Mel)in bursts in on t'e psy('iatrist and emits one word.
MELVIN
;elp:
DOCTOR
+* you want to see me you will not
do t'is. 5ou will make an
appointment...
MELVIN
E=plain to me 'ow you (an dia&nosesomeone as 7obsessi)e (ompulsi)e
disorder7 and t'en a(t like + 'a)e
any ('oi(e in bar&in& in.
DOCTOR
T'ere,s not &oin& to be a debate.
5ou must lea)e.
T'e #o(tor mo)es into t'e 'allway$ *or(in& Mel)in to
*ollow.
MELVIN
5ou said you (ould 'elp me
w'at was t'at a tease1
DOCTOR
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+ (an 'elp you i* you take t'e
responsibility to keep re&ular
app
MELVIN
3suddenly4
5ou ('an&ed t'e room around...
DOCTOR
Two years a&o...
Mel)in s'akes 'is 'ead as i* t'in&s weren,t bad enou&'
'e must &o t'rou&' a (are*ul e=er(ise notin& e)ery new
element be*ore 'e,s at all (om*ortable... as 'e studies
ea(' ob-e(t. T'e #o(tor is pro*essionally intri&ued
despite 'imsel*.
DOCTOR
+ also re&rew my beard... but
you,re not interested in ('an&es
in me... so it,s like + always
told you... w'en it (omes to
people you...
MELVIN
S'''''''. + don,t 'a)e t'is
mountain o* a)ailable time... +
&ot to &et to my restaurant on
time. #o you know 'ow 'ard it is
*or me to be 'ere1
DOCTOR
5es.
3as Mel)in starts
*or t'e o**i(e4
No.
INT. PSYCHIATRISTS' WAITING ROOM - DAY
More 6AT+ENTS in t'e almost(rowded waitin& room. Mel)in
passes t'rou&' )isibly drawn and upset. ;e stops.
Eyes on t'em. T'en?
MELVIN
3to ot'er patients4
W'at i* t'is is as &ood as it
&ets1
T'ey look stri(ken. ;e e=its.
INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
As 'e walks to 'is boot' and sits down. Enormous relie*.
";E%5L$ a 'ea)yset waitress$ relu(tantly mo)es to 'is
table unseen by Mel)in as 'e takes out 'is utensils
and arran&es t'em. +n a (orner boot'$ *our bi& T%ANS+T
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to &et a -ob (loser to 'ome.
MELVIN
W'at are you tryin& to do to me1
CHERYL
W'at t'e 'e(k do you mean1
MELVIN
;ey$ elep'ant &irl$ (all 'er or
somet'in&... -ust let 'er do my
one meal 'ere. +,ll pay w'ate)er.
+,ll wait.
3as s'e doesn,t
bud&eF 'e s(reams4
#o it:::
T'e MANAGE% (omes o)er$ &esturin& to t'e table o* poli(e
t'at 'e (an 'andle it. All attention is on Mel)in.
MANAGER
Out. Be silent or lea)e.
MELVIN
+,ll be uiet. Just let me wait.
No problem. Get 'er 'ere 'a)e
'er &et me two sausa&es$ *our
ba(on$ two e&&s o)er easy and
(o**ee. +,m not a pri(k 'ere
+,m a &reat (ustomer. T'is day is
a disaster. + (an,t 'andle t'is$
too.
MANAGER
Get out immediately or t'ere,s
&oin& to be trouble.
Mel)in looks at t'e poli(e$ si>es up t'e 'opeless
situation and rises.
MELVIN
T'ere,s &oin& to be trouble111
;e walks toward t'e door as "'eryl and all t'e ot'er
employees applaud 'is de*eat. As 'e passes a B
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INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DOORHALLWAY - DAY
"arol opens t'e door -ust as 'e arri)es on 'er landin&.
S'e 'olds a (ontainer o* i(e$ was'(lot'es and a
t'ermometer.
MELVIN+,m 'un&ry.
3on "arol,s astonis'ed
look4
5ou,)e upset my w'ole day. +
'a)en,t eaten.
CAROL
W'at are you doin& 'ere1
Mel)in i&nores t'e uestion$ instead answerin& a ('ar&e
'e 'ad ima&ined s'e mi&'t make...
MELVIN
T'is is not a se=ist t'in&. +*
you were a waiter + would still be
'ere sayin&...
CAROL
Are you totally &one1 T'is is my
pri)ate 'ome...
MELVIN
+ am tryin& to keep emotions out o*
t'is. E)en t'ou&' t'is is an
important issue to me and + 'a)e
stron& *eelin&s about t'e sub-e(t.
CAROL
W'at sub-e(t1 T'at + wasn,t t'ereto take (rap *rom you and brin&
you e&&s1 #o you 'a)e any (ontrol
o)er 'ow (reepy you allow yoursel*
to &et1
MELVIN
5es$ + do$ as a matter o* *a(t...
and to pro)e it + 'a)e not &otten
personal and you 'a)e. W'y aren,t
you at work1 5ou,re not si(k
you don,t look si(k... -ust )ery
tired and bitter.
CAROL
My son is si(k$ okay1
E)en sayin& t'e senten(e$ 7My son is si(k7 pus'es some
emotions toward t'e sur*a(e w'i(' are wasted on t'e (ra>y
man at 'er t'res'old.
MELVIN
W'at about your mot'er1
CAROL
;ow do you know about my mot'er1
MELVIN
+ 'ear you talk w'en +,m
waitin&:::
S'e (rosses to t'e sink to dump t'e i(e. Mel)in takes a
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step inside. Spen(er$ se)en and lookin& ill$ walks into
t'e room.
CAROL
Sorry$ 'oney... +,ll be ri&'t
t'ere.
MELVIN3un(om*ortably4
;ow ya doin&1
Spen(er -ust stares at 'im.
MELVIN
3mi**ed4
5ou s'ould answer w'en someone
talks to you...
"arol eyes Mel)in wit' dis&ust and disbelie* t'en
emp'ati(ally &estures 'im to 7(lear out.7 Mel)in ba(ks
out t'e door.
CAROL
Sorry. T'ere is a limit$ Mel)in$
and + (an,t 'andle you tea('in&
my son manners.
S'e (loses t'e door in 'is *a(e$ t'en walks to 'er son
and leads 'im ba(k to 'is room.
INT. SPENCER'S ROOM
"AME%A MO9ES TOWA%# mot'er and son sittin& on t'e ed&e o*
Spen(er,s bed. S'e 'olds a di&ital t'ermometer to 'is
ear. T'ey bot' (ount down t'e se(onds.
CAROL AND SPENCER/... H... 8... ... ... Bin&o.
SPENCER
"#$.%
CAROL
We are &oin& to treat oursel)es to
a (ab ride.
EXT. BROOKLYN SIDEWALK - ANGLE ON CAROL - DAY
As "arol (arries 'er youn& son t'rou&' a (lass o*
uni*ormed 2+#S *rom a "at'oli( elementary s('ool. S'e
spots Mel)in about to enter a (ab.
CAROL
Mel)in$ wait:
T'e s('ool kids pi(k up t'e ('ant in unison.
SCHOOL KIDS
Mel)in$ wait: Mel)in$ wait:
Mel)in$ wait:
;e turns to *a(e t'em.
MELVIN
S'ut up$ kids:
T'ey immediately obey as "arol approa('es 'im.
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CAROL
Mel)in... &i)e us a li*t. We,)e
&ot to &o see our *riends at t'e
'ospital.
Mel)in is t'rown... 'e pauses a beat... t'en 'olds t'e
rear door open as "arol 'ustles t'e kid inside. T'e
maneu)er puts t'e beet red$ sweatin& Spen(er at 'is *a(e.
MELVIN
+,ll ride up *ront. "o)er your
mout' w'en you (ou&'$ kid.
INT. BROOKLYN CAB - DAY
As t'ey settle in and dri)e o**.
CAROL
Brooklyn 6resbyterian ;ospital$
please and ui(kly please.
EXT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
As "arol enters t'e 'ospital.
CAROL
3(allin& ba(k4
+ owe you t'ree dollars.
Mel)in *ollows be'ind 'er as s'e (arries 'er son...
MELVIN
5ea'$ yea'... any ('an(e you,ll
&et ba(k to work today1
CAROL
3*uriously4No::: Stay away *rom me:
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY
9erdell lies -ust inside t'e *ront door w'imperin& *or
Mel)in. Ja(kie sits a(ross *rom Simon,s w'eel ('air...
s'e 'as some inde= (ards in 'er laps w'i(' s'e
o((asionally (onsults and s'u**les.
!ACKIE
+ *eel terrible t'at + 'a)e to...
Simon1 !or&et about t'e do& *or a
se(ond.
Simon *or(es 'is attention to Ja(kie.
SIMON
Sorry. W'at are t'ose (ards1
!ACKIE
3a bit embarrassed4
!rank,s idea. ;e t'ou&'t + s'ould
'a)e notes so + did t'is ri&'t...
maintained *o(us$ didn,t &et
emotional and tried not to terri*y
you.
SIMON
3s(ared s'itless4Terri*y me1
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!ACKIE
See$ 'e,s ri&'t. + need t'e
(ards.
3readin& *rom (ards4
Simon$ you,re broke.
ANGLE ON VERDELL
as t'eir (on)ersation (ontinues t'e do& is distressed.
!ACKIE (O.S.)
T'e medi(al bill are I t'ousand
now. +,)e spoken to your parents
and t'ey didn,t 'an& up or
anyt'in& t'ey -ust said t'ey
would *eel stran&e (allin& you.
SIMON (O.S.)
Well$ + (an,t rea(' t'em.
9erdell walks out on t'e terra(e and looks o**. ;e turns
*or?
SIMON
3to 9erdell4
;ere$ baby... w'at is it$
9erdell1... 5ou miss t'e tou&'
&uy...
3tryin& to be
Mel)inlike4
Well$ 'ere + am$ you little pissant
mop$ 'appy to see me1 ;ow about
anot'er ride down t'e ('ute1 O'$
God... + don,t mean it$
sweet'eart...
3on Ja(kie,s look4
+,m sorry. + know...
9erdell 'ides be'ind a ('air.
!ACKIE
!rank lo)es you. 5ou know t'at...
but +,)e spoken to 'im and 'e
*eels t'at
3readin& *rom (ard4
as a businessman$ wit' limited
resour(es...
SIMON
+,ll be able to keep my apartment
and studio$ won,t +1... Just tell
me.
As Ja(kie looks at 'im t'en t'umbs *or a (ard.
SIMON
3o)erw'elmed4
Wow...
9erdell 'as (ome near 'im 'e rea('es out a 'and to pet
t'e do& and t'e do& du(ks.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - DAY
;e is tryin& to write. ;e (an,t. ;is world 'as been upset.
;e walks away *rom 'is work a 'i&'ly unusual a(t. ;eis distressed and t'en an idea and 'e e=its.
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INT. PUBLISHER'S OFFICE - DAY
We are lookin& at OE$ t'e re(eptionist. S'e is listenin&
wit' interest to an O.S. (on)ersation w'ile answerin&
p'one (alls$ 76remier 6ublis'in&.7
FEMALE EXECUTIVE (O.S.)
5es$ you write more t'an anyoneelse. 5es$ you make us a lot o*
money$ but isn,t t'ere someone
more appropriate to...
MELVIN (O.S.)
+ need t'is. Just say$ 7Mel)in$
+,ll try$7 okay1
FEMALE EXECUTIVE (O.S.)
3resi&ned4
Mel)in$ +,ll try.
T'ey appear now t'e woman tall$ attra(ti)e$ et(. S'e
pauses at t'e ele)ator.
FEMALE EXECUTIVE
Now$ on a pleasant note$ our son
&ot a((epted at Brown. My
'usband...
MELVIN
3(urtly4
Great$ wonder*ul. + don,t need
you to wait wit' me.
S'e nods$ pissed$ wa)es and lea)es. As Mel)in waits$ oe
summons 'er mo=ie.
&OE+ (an,t resist. 5ou usually mo)e
t'rou&' 'ere so ui(kly and + 'a)e
so many uestions + want to ask
you. 5ou 'a)e no idea w'at your
work means to me.
MELVIN
W'at,s it mean1
&OE
T'at somebody out t'ere knows w'at
it,s like to be...
3taps 'er 'ead and 'eart4
in 'ere.
MELVIN
O' God$ t'is is like a ni&'tmare.
&OE
Aw (ome on$ -ust a (ouple o*
uestions 'ow 'ard is t'at1
As 'e 'its t'e button$ wipes 'is *in&ers$ 'its t'e button
et(.
&OE
;ow do you write women so well1
MELVIN3as 'e turns
toward 'er4
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+ t'ink o* a man and take away
reason and a((ountability.
T'e *an is -olted as t'e ele)ator doors open and (lose.
EXT. STREET NEAR CAROL'S BUILDING - DAY
A depleted$ e='austed "arol approa('es 'er 'ome. S'e issuddenly wary SO
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SPENCER
3to 'is mot'er4
;i...
3t'ey kiss4
#id you know t'ere are do(tors w'o
(ome to your 'ouse1
CAROL
No$ + didn,t.
3to Bettes4
So w'y are you '...
Be)erly$ "arol,s mot'er$ enters t'e room. S'e is ebullient
w'i('$ i* li*e allowed$ would be 'er natural state.
BEVERLY
+ didn,t know you 'ad a se(ret
admire.
CAROL
;u'1
BEVERLY
5ou met t'e &i*t.
SPENCER
;e,s &ood... And +,m an e=pert on
do(tors.
CAROL
3to Spen(er4
Stay out o* t'is... #o(tor1
DR. BETTES
My wi*e is Mel)in
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ba(k today.
"arol and 'er mot'er e=('an&e a look o* in(redulity.
CAROL
5ou,re &oin& to &et t'e results
today1:
MOVING SHOT
As we approa(' t'e do(tor and "arol seated a(ross *rom
ea(' ot'er at a small table... so*t )oi(es... rela=ation.
Bettes is e=aminin& medi(ine bottles.
DR. BETTES
;ow lon& 'as 'e been 'a)in&
problems1
CAROL
Sin(e *ore)er.
DR. BETTES
;a)e t'ey done blood tests on 'im1
CAROL
5es.
DR. BETTES
Only in t'e emer&en(y room or w'en
'e was well.
CAROL
Emer&en(y room only.
DR. BETTES
;a)e t'ey done skin testin& *or
aller&ies1
CAROL
No.
DR. BETTES
T'ey 'a)en,t done t'e standard
s(rat(' test. W'ere t'ey make
small in-e(tions into t'e skin1
CAROL
No. + asked. T'ey said it,s not
(o)ered under my plan. And it,s
not ne(essary anyway.
DR. BETTES+t,s ama>in& t'ese t'in&s weren,t
done.
CAROL
!u(kin& ;.M.O. bastard pie(e o*
s'it... +,m sorry... *or&i)e me.
DR. BETTES
No. A(tually$ + t'ink t'at,s
t'eir te('ni(al name.
CAROL
On(e t'e tests (ome ba(k$ is t'ere
someone + (an rea(' in your o**i(e*or t'e results1
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DR. BETTES
Me. My 'ome number is on t'is
(ard.
CAROL
;is 'ome number.
"arol look at 'er mot'er t'ey s'are a lau&'. Be)erly'as a 'ard time stoppin&.
CAROL
3to do(tor4
#o you want some -ui(e or (o**ee
or two *emale sla)es1
DR. BETTES
Water... Nobody told you it mi&'t
be a &ood idea to remo)e t'e
(arpetin& and drapes in Spen(er,s
room1
CAROL
No.
S'e starts towards Spen(er,s room.
DR. BETTES
5ou don,t 'a)e to do it t'is
se(ond... it,s not dan&erous or
anyt'in&. +t,s -ust somet'in&
t'at,s ad)isable. Look$ t'ere,s
a lot to be ('e(ked but... ;ey$
your son is &oin& to *eel a
&ood deal better at t'e )ery
least...
S'e pats 'is 'ead... T'en embra(es 'im wit' *ier(eintima(y.
CAROL
#o(:::
3t'en4
So listen$ you &otta let me know
about t'e additional (osts one
way or t'e ot'er we,ll...
DR. BETTES
T'ey,re (onsiderable. But Mr.
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s'arp intake o* breat' s'e,s *or&otten somet'in&.
SIMON
W'at,s wron&1
NORA
W'o,s &oin& to walk 9erdell1
Simon 'adn,t t'ou&'t o* t'is eit'er.
SIMON
No$ no.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - DAY
Nora 'oldin& 'er t'in&s$ kno(ks on Mel)in,s door. Mel)in
opens t'e door. Nora is still sni**lin&. ;e misinterprets.
MELVIN
+s 'e dead yet1
NORA
No: Would t'ere be any way *or
you to be willin& to walk 'is do&
*or 'im1
MELVIN
Absolutely.
NORA
Not -ust today
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to blo(k out t'at *a(t.
BEVERLY
#o you really want to &o ba(k to
t'e runt do(tors in Emer&en(y w'o
keep tellin& us t'ey (an,t 'elp1
CAROL+t lets a (ra>y man into our
li)es.
BEVERLY
"ome on. W'y *i&'t w'en we know
'ow it will (ome out. T'is isn,t
like sto(kin& or a strin& o*
pearls. 5ou don,t send t'is one
ba(k.
EXT. NEW YORK APARTMENT - ESTABLISHING - DAY
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY
S'ades drawn. Simon is a w'eel('air... t'e 6;ONE %+NGS.
;e &oes to answer... t'e p'one a(ross t'e bed so t'at
rea('in& *or t'e p'one is a brie* but di**i(ult
stru&&le... 'e &runts wit' pain$ 'ope and an=iety as 'e
answers.
SIMON
;ello1... yes... sure... *inally$
'u'1 W'y$ 7*inally71 Be(ause +
(alled you so many times. Maybe
#.
3relie*4
O'$ boy... + was 'opin& it was
somet'in& like t'at. 5ou didn,t
&et one o* t'em$ 'u'1 ,"ause +mean it wasn,t only your o**i(e
it was your 'ome$ 'otel and t'e
(i&ar (lub you like in San
!ran(is(o. No Sar(asti(... O*
(ourse. + belie)e you. No$ don,t
*ire anyone... 6lease. Maybe +,m
wron& about t'e 0 times. Take a
breat'...
3more4
So$ you miss me a little1 ;ey$
strike t'e uestion ;ow,s t'e
(ase &oin&1 %eally. !antasti(.
+ didn,t 'ear. + 'a)en,t been
wat('in&. Great. Just &reat.
+,m so 'appy. W'oopie: Me1Well$ +,m mendin&. No$ + look
*ine. Well$ some o* t'e dama&e
mi&'t still be noti(eable i* you
look (losely...
;e runs a 'and a(ross 'is s(arred and still bloated and
beaten *a(e...
SIMON
"arl$ + need some 'elp and you,re
t'e lo&i(al one to turn to.
3a&'ast4
No: Not ,(ause + blame you *or
w'at 'appened. + 'ardly &et 'owyou (an e)er t'ink t'at. No$ +,m
not bein& sar(asti(.
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3tryin& to *i&ure it
out4
+ &uess be(ause you 'ired t'e &uy
w'o did t'is you t'ink... No$ + am
a sar(asti( person. Well$ i*
you must know$ t'e reason + said
you were t'e lo&i(al person is
be(ause you always told me 'ow yout'ou&'t + was t'is &reat person
w'o made you *eel &ood about
'umanity and e)eryt'in&. 5ou do
rememberin& sayin& t'at1 Well$ w'ew.
Okay$ so "arl. + 'ate askin& but
t'is money t'in& is ridi(ulously
serious...
;e pi(ks up an inde= (ard *rom 'is ni&'t stand and takes
t'e leap readin& t'e te=t 'e prepared in ad)an(e.
SIMON
7Will you please loan me money1 +
will pay you ba(k. + will &i)e
you w'ate)er per(enta&e o* my
in(ome + don,t absolutely need
until + do. +t will take a w'ile.
But + don,t know w'at +,ll do i*
you say7... t'at.
3as 'e listens4
+ understand... yes... No$ + do.
3a bit o* boldness4
But you know$ you know you
didn,t e)en ask 'ow mu('$ "arl1
Well$ !rank 'as no ri&'t to
dis(uss 'ow mu(' +,m in 'o(k...
no$ you,re ri&'t not t'e point.
So... w'at 'a)e you been up to111
)ous
wit' t'e moment o* (at'arsis...
... but Simon is denied e)en t'is small lu=ury as t'e
"AME%A AB%
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SIMON
+* you,ll e=(use me +,m not
*eelin& so well.
MELVIN
+t smells like s'it in 'ere1
SIMONGo away.
MELVIN
T'at (leanin& woman doesn,t...
SIMON
6lease$ -ust lea)e.
MELVIN
W'ere are all your ueer party
*riends1
SIMON
3'is *irst s'out4
Get out.
Mel)in pauses Simon weepin&... 9erdell looks at Simon
wit' (on(ern. Mel)in is t'rown. Mo)ed1
SIMON
Not'in& worse t'an 'a)in& to *eel
t'is way in *ront o* you1
MELVIN
Nellie$ you,re a dis&ra(e to
depression.
SIMON
%ot in 'ell$ Mel)in.
MELVIN
No need to stop bein& a lady...
uit worryin& you,ll be ba(k on
your knees in no time.
Simon swin&s 'is arm and (ast at Mel)in t'e sudden
atta(k -olts Mel)in but not as mu(' as w'at *ollows.
SIMON
+s t'is *un *or you1 Well$ you
lu(ky de)il... +t -ust &ets better
and better. + am losin& my
apartment and !rank wants me to
promise to paint 'otter sub-e(tsand to be& my parents$ w'o 'a)en,t
(alled$ *or 'elp... and + won,t.
And + don,t want to paint anymore.
Mel)in 'as made *or t'e door... Simon blo(ks 'im.
SIMON
So t'e li*e + was tryin& *or is
o)er. T'e li*e + 'ad is &one and
+ am *eelin& so damn sorry *or
mysel* t'at it is di**i(ult to
breat'e. %i&'t times *or you
'u'$ Mel)in. T'e &ay nei&'bor is
terri*ied...3a sudden s(reamed
word surprises t'em
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bot'4
Terri*ied... Lu(ky you$ you,re
'ere *or ro(k bottom... me
wallowin& in sel*pity in *ront o*
you$ you absolute 'orror o* a
'uman bein&...
As Simon works to stop (ryin&$ Mel)in is weird wit'dis(om*ort.
MELVIN
Well$ +,ll do one t'in& *or you
t'at mi&'t ('eer you up.
SIMON
Get out.
MELVIN
#on,t piss on a &i*t$ tou&' &uy.
5ou want to know w'y t'e do&
pre*ers me... it,s not a**e(tion.
+t,s a tri(k.
Simon looks up$ 'is mood turnin& on a dime 'e,s
rapt... Mel)in (omes and stands by 'is w'eel('air.
MELVIN
+ (arry ba(on in my po(ket.
SIMON
3pleased4
O'$ my &os'.
MELVIN
3'ands 'im ba(on4
Now we,ll bot' (all 'im.
SIMON
"ome on$ sweet'eart...
MELVIN
5o$ yo$ yo...
9erdell &oes like a bullet to Mel)in... w'o is totally
surprised and sta&&ered by t'e impli(ations. True lo)e
and su('.
SIMON
Would you lea)e now$ please1
MELVIN
Stupid do&.3to Simon4
+ don,t &et it.
;e e=its... lookin& apolo&eti(ally at Simon in stoi(
ruin.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
"arol in bed on t'e pullout so*a... S'e is in turmoil...
t'ere is T;
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"arol uietly e=tra(ts a dress *rom t'e (loset$ lea)in&
'er ni&'t&own on t'e *loor. T'ere is somet'in& se=y
'ere$ t'e woman in "arol ('urnin&. S'e plops on a summer
dress no time *or underwear.
EXT. BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT
"arol seein& a bus and das'in& a*ter it.
EXT. MANHATTAN BRIDGE - TWO AM
"arol (rossin& to Man'attan. S'e looks as i* s'e,s on
'er way to some *inal e=am w'ere s'e 'as no notion o* t'e
sub-e(t.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - NEAR MELVIN'S BUILDING -
NIGHT (RAIN)
;ot summer ni&'t as s'e &ets o** t'e bus and now t'e
rains (ome... We are in a *amiliar nei&'bor'ood.
ANGLE ON MELVIN AND SIMON'S APARTMENT HOUSE
As "arol (onsults t'e slip o* paper wit' t'e address on
it.
INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT (RAIN)
As s'e enters buildin& and reali>es it,s not -ust t'at
s'e,s wet t'e t'in summer dress is a winner in any wet
Ts'irt (ontest... t'e *abri( (lin&in& to 'er breasts$
like t'e old mo)ie poster o* T'e #eep.
INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - NIGHT
As "arol passes Simon,s door... stands in *ront o*Mel)in,s apartment twists 'ersel* to ease ner)ousness
and kno(ks on t'e door... t'en %+NGS t'e BELL. !inally
"arol 'ears M
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3tearin& suddenly4
... t'ou&' you 'a)e no idea w'at
it,s like to 'a)e a real
(on)ersation wit' a do(tor about
Spen(er...
MELVIN
3)ery un(om*ortable4Note. 6ut it in t'e note.
CAROL
W'y did yo do t'is *or me1
MELVIN
To &et you ba(k at work so you (an
wait on me.
CAROL
But you do 'a)e some idea 'ow
stran&e t'at sounds111 +,m
worried t'at you did t'is
be(ause...
S'e pauses t'e be&innin& o* an e=traordinarily lon&
silen(e. !inally.
MELVIN
5ou waitin& *or me to say
somet'in&1
3as s'e s'akes 'er 'ead4
W'at sort o* t'in& do you want1
Look$ +,ll be at t'e restaurant
tomorrow.
CAROL
+ don,t t'ink + (an wait until
tomorrow. T'is needs (learin& up.
MELVIN
W'at needs (learin& up1
CAROL
3stron& and true4
+,m not &oin& to sleep wit' you.
+ will ne)er$ e)er sleep wit' you.
Ne)er. Not e)er.
Mel)in,s rea(tion1 Well$ 'e,ll ne)er &et (redit *or t'e
brie* but intense inner stru&&le t'e stru&&le not to
s(ream
not to (ry to pro(ess t'e sudden and stunnin& 'urtdurin& 'is 'al* turn away *rom 'er and t'en answer
'oarsely.
MELVIN
+,m sorry. We don,t open *or t'e
nose= oat's until D a.m.
"arol is amused$ surprised... maybe$ in some small way
e)er taken by 'is style... but top priority is (larity.
CAROL
+,m not kiddin&.
MELVINOkay:::: Anyt'in& else1:1
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CAROL
Just 'ow &rate*ul + am.
;er mission (ompleted s'e turns.
MELVIN
So you,ll be at work1
CAROL
5es.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
+t,s a 8? a.m. as t'e two di&ital (lo(ks on Mel)in,s
ni&'t stand tell us... ;e &ets up t'e *irst time we,)e
seen 'is wakin& routine taps one *oot on t'e *loor
twi(e t'en t'e ot'er *oot two more taps and 'is
body an&les *rom t'e bed in a deliberate way.
;e is 'a)in& an=iety. ;e sits at t'e piano and plays
)ery brie*ly... Stops wipes some sweat *rom 'is
*ore'ead... Walks to 'is (omputer room turns t'e li&'t
on and t'en ui(kly o**... Walks to 'is re*ri&erator...
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT, KITCHEN, INSIDE REFRIGERATOR -
NIGHT
As 'e &rabs a (ardboard takeout bo=...
INT. NEW YORK APT. BUILDING - HALLWAYSIMON'S APT.
;e kno(ks o* Simon,s door... +t opens ui(kly.
SIMON'S APARTMENT
MELVIN
+ took a ('an(e you were up.
Simon walks pain*ully ba(k to a ('air.
MELVIN
+ brou&'t you "'inese soup.
SIMON
T'anks.
MELVIN
+ 'a)e ne)er been so tired in my
li*e. Okay$ i* + sit 'ere1
SIMON
Got any easier uestions1
Mel)in sits and moans t'e do& sittin& near 'im.
MELVIN
+ 'a)en,t been sleepin&. +
'a)en,t been (lear or *elt like
mysel*. +,m in trouble. Some son
o* a bit(' is burnin& my brid&es
be'ind my ba(k... But t'e
tiredness boy... Not -ust
sleepy.
SIMON
But si(k nauseous w'eree)eryt'in& looks distorted and
e)eryt'in& inside -ust a('es
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w'en you (an barely &et up t'e
will to (omplain.
MELVIN
3bri&'tenin&4
5ea'...
;e *eels a tou(' o* (ommunity and not knowin& w'ere totake it *rom 'ere.
MELVIN
+,m &lad we did t'is.
;e rises and makes an awkward e=it.
MELVIN
Good talkin& to you.
;e e=its Simon pu>>led and (on(erned.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
"arol seated workin& on a letter... S'e is tryin& to
e=press 'er &ratitude... An enormous s'ea* o* (ompleted
pa&es sit ne=t to 'er... S'e is so in)ol)ed s'e doesn,t
e)en look up as a youn& man$ SEAN$ kno(ks on t'e door and
is let in by Be)erly.
T'ey e=('an&e &reetin&s and mo)e inside w'ere we *aintly
'ear Spen(er &reetin& 'im... We MO9E +N and read o)er
"arol,s s'oulder 7+,m sorry to 'a)e &otten sloppy and
emotional in t'is letter$ but it would 'a)e been on my
(ons(ion(e 3si(4 *ore)er i* + didn,t tell you 'ow
&rate*ull 3si(4... 7
BEVERLY
5ou,re not still writin& t'att'ankyou note1
CAROL
+,m on t'e last pa&e. ;ow do you
spell (ons(ien(e1
BEVERLY
"ons(ien(e. + &ot Sean
*rom t'e bakery to babysit so
let,s &o out.
CAROL
+ still don,t *eel sa*e lea)in&
Spen(er wit' someone. ;ow do you
spell it a&ain1
BEVERLY
Spen(er is okay. 5ou,d better
start *indin& somet'in& else to do
wit' your *ree time. +* you (an,t
*eel &ood about t'is break and
step out a little...
3struts and pumps
'er arms4
5ou ou&'t to &et Mr.
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w'at,s really &oin& on 'ere. +
'a)e to *inis' t'is letter or
+,ll &o nuts.
3lookin& at paperF
weepy4
T'is (an,t be ri&'t (on
s(ien(e.
"arol breat'es 'ea)ily &ets (ontrol$ stoppin& 'ersel*
on t'e brink o* (ryin&.
BEVERLY
"arol. W'at1
"arol is ama>ed at 'ersel*... t'at s'e mi&'t not be able
to stem t'e *low... wideeyed wit' appre'ension$ s'e
looks at 'er mot'er$ w'o$ in return$ only nods permission
*or "arol to let it &o. A last de*iant snort *rom "arol
and t'en s'e is o)erw'elmed. T'e 'eadline (omes *irst.
CAROL
+ don,t know... +t,s )ery stran&e
not *eelin& t'at stupid pani(
t'in& inside you all t'e time.
Wit'out t'at you -ust start
t'inkin& about yoursel* and
w'at does t'at e)er &et anybody.
Today$ on t'e bus t'ere was t'is
adorable (ouple and + *elt mysel*
&i)in& t'em a dirty look + 'ad
no idea e)eryt'in& was...
BEVERLY
Go a'ead.
CAROL
3&reat$ *or(e*ul'and &estures4
... mo)in& in t'e wron&
dire(tion... Away *rom w'en +
e)en remembered w'at it was like
to 'a)e a man to... anyt'in&...
'old *u(kin& sorry 'ands
wit'$ *or "'rist,s sake. + was
*eelin& like really bad t'at #r.
Bettes is married.
3t'is ne=t one,s
tou&'4
W'i(' is probably w'y + make poor
Spen(er 'u& me more t'an 'e wants
to... Like t'e poor kid doesn,t
'a)e enou&' problems. ;e 'as tomake up *or 'is mom not &ettin&
any.
3weeps at 'er
insi&'t4
O'$ boy. W'o needs t'ese
t'ou&'ts1
BEVERLY
Spen(er,s doin& *ine. So w'at are
you sayin&$ t'at you,re *rustr...
CAROL
Lea)e me be: W'y are you doin&
t'is1 W'y are you pi(kin& at mysores... W'at is it t'at you
want1... 5ou want w'at1 W'at,s
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wit' you1 + 'ope &ettin& me
t'inkin& o* e)eryt'in& t'at,s
wron& w'en all + want is to not
do t'is 'as some purpose.
3pu**yF redF
*urious4
W'at is it$ Mom1 No kiddin&.
Slumped$ *ou&'t out "arol &ets out one last$ naked
'usky )oi(ed uestion.
CAROL
W'at is it you want1 W'at1
BEVERLY
+ want us to &o out.
A beat$ t'en.
CAROL
3simply4
Okay.
INT. CAROL'S APT, SPENCER'S ROOM, HALLWAY - NIGHT
As t'ey enter$ still wipin& away t'e e**e(ts o* t'eir
(ry.
CAROL
3to Sean4
We,re &oin& out.
SEAN
3lookin& at t'eir
red eyes4
Looks like *un.
S'e kisses Spen(er almost &ettin& in)ol)ed in w'at
'e,s doin& t'en sees 'er mot'er waitin&.
CAROL
Okay we,re out o* 'ere. + lo)e
you.
Spen(er nods in)ol)ed wit' Sean. "AME%A !OLLOWS "arol
as s'e e=its t'e apartment 'er mot'er leadin&.
;al*way down t'e stairs$ s'e stops and re)erses 'ersel*$
&oin& ba(k to t'e apartment w'i(' s'e reenters t'en
to 'er son to ask?
CAROL
#o you lo)e me1
SPENCER
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ot'er and (ontinue walkin&$ turnin& into a (orner bar.
INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - CLOSE ON CAROL - DAY
As "arol stands ner)ously w'ile Lisa *inis'es readin& 'er
Hpa&e letter. +n t'e b.&. Mel)in and !rank are seated
at t'e same table and in earnest (on)ersation. Lisa
keeps *li(kin& away tears a *ew drops on t'e pa&es.
CAROL
#on,t &et it wet.
Lisa brus'es t'e paper *inis'es and embra(es "arol.
CAROL
So it,s okay1
LISA
5ou almost 'a)e me likin& 'im.
5ou sure (ome *rom t'e 'eart. +
ne)er knew w'at you went t'rou&'
wit' e)eryt'in&.
CAROL
+ wanted 'im to know 'ow mu(' 'e,d
done.
3lookin& o)er4
"an you belie)e 'e,s eatin& wit'
someone.
ON MELVIN FRANK
MELVIN
+t,s not my do& and t'is Simon
seems to 'a)e enou&' on 'is mind
but 'e did t'row up twi(e and
'is spark is o**.
FRANK
Sure take 'im to t'e )et.
MELVIN
+ did. And 'is stoma(' is out o*
w'a(k. So t'ey need 'im *or a
(ouple o* days.
FRANK
#o it.
CAROL
Mel)in.
S'e sel*(ons(iously 'ands 'im wit' t'e t'i(k en)elope.
MELVIN
W'at,s t'is1
CAROL
3sotto4
A t'ankyou note *or w'at you did
*or me.
;e 'ands it ba(k to 'er deliberately. S'e takes it and
walks ba(k to t'e ser)i(e area w'ere$ embarrassed$
(on*used$ and messed wit' s'e tosses t'e note.
A*ter "arol lea)es...
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FRANK
S'e,s ni(e.
MELVIN
3to !rank4
%eally ni(e. S'ouldn,t t'at be a
&ood t'in&... tellin& someone$
,no t'anks reuired.,
FRANK
+t looks like it really went o)er.
5ou,re sure makin& t'e rounds.
Simon says you brou&'t 'im soup
last ni&'t. + 'ope 'e doesn,t
write you a note.
Mel)in looks up wary 'is brain sends a disturbin&
messa&e.
FRANK
W'at1
MELVIN
7W'at17 Look at you... 5ou sense
a mark.
FRANK
;ey you (alled me... +...
MELVIN
About a do&.
FRANK
5ea'$ but it,s all about Simon
now... you 'elped wit' t'e do&...
And now t'ere are ot'er t'in&s.
+,m -ust as (on(erned as you areabout Simon.
MELVIN
"on(erned. +,m -ust t'e 'all
monitor 'ere.
FRANK
+t,s not only *inan(ial
assistan(e. W'at 'e,s &ot to do
is &o to Baltimore tomorrow and
ask 'is parents *or money. +t,s
not &oin& to 'appen on t'e p'one.
MELVIN
5ea'. +* 'is parents are ali)et'ey,)e &ot to 'elp t'ose are
t'e rules. Good.
FRANK
5es. And tomorrow1 + 'a)e a 'i&'
maintenan(e sellin& painter (omin&
t'rou&'... So +,m out. "an you
take 'im1
MELVIN
T'ink w'ite and &et serious.
"arol enters s(ene.
FRANK
Take my (ar a (on)ertible. #o
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No... no t'ank you notes.
CAROL
Well$ part o* w'at + said in t'is
entire 'istory o* my li*e w'i('
you won,t read is t'at some'ow
you,)e done more *or my mot'er$ my
son and me$ t'an anyone else e)er'as... And t'at makes you t'e most
important$ surprisin&$ &enerous
person +,)e e)er met and t'at you
be in our daily prayers *ore)er.
MELVIN
Lo)ely.
CAROL
+ also wrote one part... + wrote
+,m sorry... + was talkin& about +
was sorry w'en + &ot mad at you
w'en you (ame o)er and you told my
son t'at 'e ou&'t to answer ba(k
so + wrote t'at.
3readin& *rom t'e
letter$ Mel)in
wildly un(om*ortable4
+ was sorry *or bustin& you on
t'at... and +,m sorry *or bustin&
in on you t'at ni&'t... w'en +
said + was ne)er... + was sorry
and +,m sorry e)ery time your *ood
was (old and t'at you 'ad to wait
two se(onds *or a (o**ee *iller...
Mel)in wants to disappear but "arol is &ettin& into it
emotionally mo)ed by 'er own words.
CAROL
... and +,m sorry *or ne)er
spottin&$ ri&'t t'ere at t'e table
in t'e restaurant$ t'e 'uman bein&
t'at 'ad it in 'im to do t'is
t'in& *or us... 5ou know w'at$ +,m
-ust &oin& to start *rom t'e
be&innin&... + 'a)e not been able
to e=press my &rate*ulness to
you... e)en as + look at t'e word
7&rate*ul7 now it doesn,t be&in to
tell you w'at + *eel *or you...
And *inally "arol notes Mel)in,s mood and pauses.
MELVIN
Ni(e o* you... t'ank you.
CAROL
T'ank you.
MELVIN
Now + want you to do somet'in& *or me.
S'e looks at 'im *or a )ery stran&e$ lon& beat.
CAROL
O'$ +,m sorry... #idn,t + say$
7w'at17 + t'ou&'t + said$7w'at17... W'at1
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too pretty and puts it ba(k... Now s'e looks in anot'er
drawer and pauses as i* s'e ponders one o* t'e mysteries
o* t'e a&es. S'e 'esitates t'en talks to 'ersel*.
INSERT -- UNDERWEAR DRAWER
;er best underwear neatly sta(ked alon&side 'er e)eryday
7&irl Jo(kies.7 S'e *in&ers t'e &ood stu** puts itba(k t'en t'e e)eryday 'esitates.
CAROL
3*uriously e=asperated4
T'ere,s not way to pa(k *or t'is
trip... well$ +,ll tell you +,m
not pa(kin& t'e (amera.
As s'e e=its t'e room
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
As s'e pi(ks up t'e p'one.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Mel)in is in 'is bedroom e)eryt'in& 'e,s takin& neatly
sta(ked on t'e bed waitin& to be pa(ked 3'e is takin& a
(amera4. ;e 'as a list o* w'at 'e needs. All items
underwear$ so(ks$ et(... wit' *our ('e(ks ne=t to ea('
one and still 'e ('e(ks ea(' sta(k on t'e bed and adds
anot'er ('e(k. T'e 6;ONE %+NGS. T'is is an ama>in&
de)elopment. ;e 'as almost no re(ent e=perien(e wit'
re(ei)in& a ni&'ttime p'one (all. ;e makes a little
(omment to 'imsel* as 'e mo)es.
MELVIN
Woowoo.
;e stops brie*ly tryin& to remember w'ere t'e p'one is
and t'en$ rememberin&$ (rosses and pi(ks it up but
be*ore brin&in& it to 'is mout' ner)ously (lears 'is
t'roat.
ON CAROL
As s'e 'ears 'is t'roat bein& (leared. +t is not a
pretty sound. 3T'e *ollowin& (on)ersation is +NTE%"
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(ertain.
CAROL
T'ere,s... t'ere,s no need to
brin& anyt'in& dressy... or... +
mean + didn,t know i* we,d be
eatin& at any restaurant t'at
'a)e dress (odes.
MELVIN
O'.
3a beat4
We mi&'t. 5es. We (an. Let,s.
CAROL
Okay$ &ot('a. W'at did you t'ink
+ was &oin& to ask1
MELVIN
W'et'er (rabs are in season t'ere
now...
CAROL
O'. Okay$ t'en Mel)in. Good
ni&'t.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - BEVERLY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Be)erly looks up e=pe(tantly as 'er dau&'ter enters.
BEVERLY
;ow was it talkin& to 'im1
CAROL
Stop treatin& t'is like +,m &oin&
away wit' a man. ;e,s -ust &oin&
to say t'ose (rappy$ si(k$(omplainin&$ an&ry t'in&s to me.
+ 'ate t'is$ Mom + 'ate t'is.
;e,s a *reak s'ow t'e worst
person + e)er met.
BEVERLY
Well$ maybe 'e 'as ni(e *riends.
EXT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
Be)erly and Spen(er wait wit' 'er. T'e bus approa('es.
S'e kisses t'em.
CAROL
3to Spen(er45ou stand t'ere and +,ll wa)e to
you *rom t'e ba(k window.
As s'e boards t'e bus.
BEVERLY
"all me as soon as you,re settled.
CAROL
3to Spen(er4
+ lo)e you.
T'e bus dri)er (loses t'e doors on 'er s'e s'o)es t'em
open.
CAROL
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3to bus dri)er4
Sensiti)e$ 'u'1:
T'e bus pulls out. ;e runs a*ter t'e bus wa)in& at
'is mot'er w'o &rows (on(erned t'at 'e mi&'t be ta=in&
'imsel*.
INT. VETERINARIAN'S WAITING ROOM - DAY
A *emale 9ETE%+NA%+AN in sur&i(al s(rubs 'olds 9erdell as
Mel)in *inis'es *illin& out some *orms.
On opposite sides o* t'e waitin& room$ a )ery lar&e bla(k
do& and a tiny "'i'ua'ua sit patiently wit' t'eir owners.
VETERINARIAN
Anyt'in& unusual in t'e do&,s
diet1
MELVIN
No. E)erybody &ets t'eir own
(a&e1
VETERINARIAN
"ertainly.
MELVIN
3pointin& to
"'i'ua'ua4
6ut 'im in wit' t'at one$ not t'at
one...
3pointin& to lar&e
do&4
... Builds 'is (on*iden(e.
EXT. BUS STOP NEAR APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY
"arol disembarks.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY
As s'e walks and turns a (orner.
CLOSE ON CAROL
T'e s'ot o* t'e prisoner takin& t'e walk toward t'e deat'
('amber. But t'e prisoner 'as &rit 'er knees do
not bu(kle. S'e does not w'imper. No prison 7s(rews7
will 'a)e to support 'er wei&'t. Still$ t'e prospe(t
(ouldn,t be &rimmer.
CAROL'S POV
Mel)in ne=t to a spi**y (on)ertible. Top down. Trunk open.
CLOSER ON MELVIN
;e is wearin& dri)in& &lo)es and turns to witness t'e
tussle !rank and Simon are 'a)in& -ust inside t'e
buildin&.
FRANK
+,m sorry t'at +,m not takin&
you.
SIMON3upset4
So am +$ !rank.
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!rank starts to lea)e Simon stops 'im. T'ey embra(e.
MELVIN
Soak it up it,s your last
('an(e at a 'u& *or a *ew days.
As !rank mo)es o** Mel)in sees "arol and 'is demeanor('an&es... t'at ui(kly t'ere is a s'yness.
CAROL
;i.
MELVIN
T'anks *or bein& on time... "arol$
t'e waitress$ t'is is Simon$ t'e
*a&.
CAROL
;ello... O'$ my God$ w'o did t'at
to you1
SIMON
+$ u'... + was... atta(ked.
Walked in on people robbin& me. +
was 'ospitali>ed. + almost died.
MELVIN
Let,s do t'e small talk in t'e
(ar. Load up.
"arol puts 'er ba& in t'e (ar.
MELVIN
+ was &oin& to do t'at *or you.
CAROL3taken aba(k4
+t,s okay. No problem. W'ere
s'ould we sit1
MELVIN
3totally nonplussed4
+ u'$ +... Well$ t'ere is no
pla(e (ards or anyt'in&.
CAROL
3to Simon4
Let me &o in ba(k. 5ou look like
you need all t'e room you (an
mana&e.
SIMON
T'at,s )ery t'ou&'t*ul.
MELVIN
Ne)er a break. Ne)er.
"arol steps into t'e ba(k. Mel)in disappointed t'at 'e,s
not sittin& ne=t to "arol... "arol is wed&ed in t'e small
ba(k seat. S'e stru&&les to &et 'er *eet in.
MELVIN
5ou,re really -ammed ba(k t'ere.
;e rea('es *or t'e lat(' between 'is le&s and slides 'isseat and$ wit' some e**ort$ wren('es it *orward &i)in&
"arol more room and puttin& 'is ri&'t a&ainst t'e w'eel.
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S'e is startled by t'e &esture.
CAROL
T'anks$ Mel)in.
MELVIN
Wel(ome.
And o** t'ey &o. Simon and "arol stunned by t'e manners.
EXT. "TH STREET
Turnin& onto !i*t'.
MELVIN
+ &ot t'e w'ole ride pro&rammed.
"AME%A !OLLOWS as Mel)in &oes to a ra(k o* "#s all
(are*ully labelled. ;e sele(ts and be&ins to play t'e
one marked 7+"EB%EA2E%.7 +t is a son& w'i(' we (learly
and ui(kly -ud&e as o** t'e (ir(umstan(es a ui(k
burst o* 75.M.".A.7 Mel)in STO6S t'e M
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your partners or your kid
t'in&s will always be o** *or you
unless you set it strai&'t. Maybe
t'is t'in& 'appened to you -ust to
&i)e you t'at ('an(e.
MELVIN
Nonsense:
CAROL
Anybody 'ere w'o,s interested in
w'at Mel)in 'as to say raise t'eir
'ands.
Simon does not raise 'is 'and. Simon and "arol 'a)e t'us
de(lared t'eir ma-ority.
SIMON
#o you want to know w'at 'appened
wit' my parents1
CAROL
5es. + really would.
SIMON
Well...
CAROL
No$ let me pull o)er so + (an pay
*ull attention.
"ar pullin& o)er toward parkin& spot.
EXT. HIGHWAY - CURBSIDE - CONVERTIBLE - DAY
S'e takes t'e (ar (urbside and parks.
CAROL
Now &o a'ead.
Simon looks ba(k at Mel)in as does "arol. ;e looks
inno(ent. Se)eral beats Mel)in almost says somet'in&
a 'idden 'and &esture *rom "arol stops 'im. !inally.
SIMON
Well$ + always painted. Always.
And my mot'er always en(oura&ed
it. S'e was sort o* *abulous
about it a(tually... and s'e used
to... + was too youn& to t'ink
t'ere was anyt'in& at all wron&
wit' it... and s'e was )erynatural. S'e used to pose nude
*or me... and + t'ou&'t or assumed
my *at'er was aware o* it.
MELVIN
T'is stu** is pointless.
CAROL
;ey you let 'im...
MELVIN
5ou like sad stories you want
mine.
CARL
. Go a'ead$ Simon. %eally.
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6lease. #on,t let 'im stop you. +&nore 'im.
SIMON
Okay. Well$ one day my *at'er
(ame in on one o* t'ose paintin&
sessions w'en + was nine and 'e
-ust started s(reamin& at 'er
at us at e)il. And...
MELVIN
3)ery ui(kly4
... my *at'er didn,t lea)e 'is
room *or years 'e 'it my
'and wit' a yardsti(k i* + made a
mistake on t'e piano.
CAROL
Go a'ead$ Simon. 5our *at'er
walked in on you and was yellin&
and... really$ (ome on.
SIMON
+ was tryin& to de*end my mot'er
and make pea(e$ in t'e lamest way.
+ said$ 7s'e,s not naked it,s
art.7 And t'en 'e started 'ittin&
me. And 'e beat me un(ons(ious.
A*ter t'at 'e talked to me less
and less 'e knew be*ore + le*t
*or (olle&e$ my dad (ame into my
room. ;e 'eld out 'is 'and. +t
was *illed wit' money. A bi& wad
o* sweaty money.
3&at'ers 'imsel*4
And 'e said to me$ 7+ don,t want
you to e)er (ome ba(k.7 + &rabbed
'im and + 'u&&ed 'im... ;e turnsand walked out.
"arol$ w'ose li*e 'as been ru&&ed but basi($ *eels as
stran&e as s'e does mo)ed by Simon,s trauma w'i(' is so
mu(' more (ompli(ated t'an 'er meat and potatoes
troubles. S'e looks out 'er window t'en kisses 'er
*in&ers and tou('es t'em to Simon,s ('eek. A ni(e$
understated$ &esture o* *riends'ip.
CAROL
Well$ you know + still stay
w'at + said. 5ou,)e &ot to &et
past it all w'en it (omes to your
parents. We all 'a)e t'ese 'orror
stories to &et o)er.
Mel)in s'i*ts +NTO t'e !%AME.
MELVIN
T'at,s not true. Some o* us 'a)e
&reat stories... pretty stories
t'at take pla(e at lakes wit'
boats and *riends and noodle
salad. Just not anybody in t'is
(ar. But lots o* people t'at,s
t'eir story &ood times and
noodle salad... and t'at,s w'at
makes it 'ard. Not t'at you 'ad
it bad but bein& t'at pissed t'atso many 'ad it &ood.
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CAROL
No.
SIMON
Not it at all$ really.
MELVIN
3a )eteran,s irony4Not at all$ 'u'1:... Let,s &o to
t'e 'otel. And i* you,re lu(ky
tomorrow #ad will &i)e you anot'er
wad o* sweaty money.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - LIVING ROOMCARL'S ROOM - DAY
MELVIN
Two bedrooms and t'e so*a opens...
"arol is on t'e p'one in t'e li)in& room s'e 'an&s up.
CAROL
3to Simon4
No answer... Maybe we s'ould -ust
dri)e t'ere tomorrow. "an + 'a)e
t'at one1
MELVIN
5es... sure.
3to Simon4
+,ll take t'e so*a.
"arol walks into 'er room t'e ni(est room s'e,ll e)er
'a)e slept in... S'e &oes to t'e p'one and dials...
CAROL
3into p'one4
;ello... ;i$ Spen(er... W'y areyou out o* breat'1 5ou did1:1
T'at is &reat... So &reat... So
no$ wait a se(ond$ Spen(e...
INT. HOTEL SUITE - MELVIN AND SIMON'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Mel)in wat('es Simon stru&&le to unpa(k 'is espe(ially
neat suit(ase. Mel)in is un(om*ortable.
MELVIN
"an + ask you a personal uestion1
Simon lau&'s loudly in appre'ension suared.
MELVIN#o you e)er &et an ere(tion *or a
woman1
SIMON
Mel)in...
MELVIN
Wouldn,t your lie be a lot easier
i* you were not...
SIMON
5ou (onsider your li*e easy.
MELVIN+ &i)e you t'at one...
3eyes suit(ase4
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Ni(e pa(kin&.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
"arol enters t'e (ommon li)in& room... Mel)in is sittin&
t'ere. "arol is dealin& wit' a number o* unsettlin& new
*a(tors in 'er li*e.
CAROL
My son was outside playin& so((er.
+ ne)er saw 'im playin& ball. "ome
on$ you &uys take me out *or a
&ood time... Take me out dan(in&.
MELVIN
#an(in&1
SIMON
+ (an,t$ +,m e='austed.
"arol walks to Simon and puts an arm on 'im. Mel)in is
)isibly disturbed by 'er &esture.
CAROL
3to Simon4
+ don,t blame you... T'is is a
monumental *irst day out... 5ou
sad or anyt'in&1
SIMON
No... Ner)ous. +t would be )ery
rou&'$ "arol$ i* you weren,t
alon&.
CAROL
W'at a ni(e (ompliment.
S'e &i)es Simon a kiss... Mel)in deals wit' -ealousy.
S'e turns to 'im.
CAROL
+,m 'appy. And you,re my date.
Let,s &et dressed.
S'e e=its t'e room. Mel)in unner)ed.
MELVIN
+,m &oin& to -ump in t'e s'ower.
+,ll be ri&'t wit' you.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
As "arol$ dressed in a t'ri*t s'op *ind$ enters t'e main
room o* t'e suite and 'ears t'e S;OWE% runnin& s'e
sits down to wait t'rou&'...
SERIES OF DISSOLVES
S'owin& t'e enormous len&t' o* time w'i(' transpires until
*inally a seriously (lean Mel)in emer&es *rom t'e bat'room
t'rou&' a (loud o* steam. T'ey e=it.
EXT. FIRST RATE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
As t'ey dri)e up.
VALET
Good e)enin&$ sir.
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MELVIN
T'e