assertiveness 030510
TRANSCRIPT
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ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING:LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!
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LEARNING POINTS
Understand the difference between passive,
aggressive and assertive communication
techniques
Learn to use an assertive technique
Understand why assertiveness is important
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WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?
Assertiveness is about self confidence
which means having a positive attitude
towards yourself and others.
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TENPOINTSABOUTASSERTIVEBEHAVIOURS
1-It depends on expressing yourself
2-Showing respects to others rights
3-Being honest
4-Indirect and certain
5-Mutual equilibrim and benefit is important in arelationship
6-It is expressing emotions, rights, realities, thoughts andboundaries by words
7-Using non-verbal comminication for sending the
message8-It is not universal, it depends on the position and the
individual
9-It is getting social responsibility
10-It is not the nature of the hunamkind, it can belearned
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ASSERTIVENESS
Assertiveness is about standing up for yourself, but also
about respecting the opinions and needs of others.
When we communicate assertively, we are clear about
our opinions and wishes, but we are also open to others.
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BEINGASSERTIVE
1-Being assertive is focusing on your goal
2-Being assertive is being self-aware
3-Being assertive is being true to yourself
4-Being assertive is building self esteem
5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself.
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PASSIVE, AGGRESSIVE, ASSERTIVE
Passive
Passive/Aggressive
Aggressive
Assertive
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TIPSFOR ASSERTIVECOMMUNICATION
Making Assertive Statements
Dos and Donts
Using Assertive Body Language
Techniques to Avoid
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ACTIVITY:ONE CONVERSATION,
THREE STYLES
Video Clips or Script Reading
Discussion Questions
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ACTIVITY: WHYIS ASSERTIVENESSIMPORTANT?
Reasons for being assertive rather than passive or
aggressive?
How does assertive communication result in better care
for clients or residents?
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LEARNING POINTS REVIEW
Understand the difference between passive,
aggressive and assertive communication
techniques
Learn to use an assertive technique
Understand why assertiveness is important
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3-TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESS
Non-assertive behaviour
I am not ok,you are ok
Assertive behaviour
I am ok,you are ok Aggresive behaviour
I am ok,you are not ok
Manipulative behaviourI am not ok,you are not ok
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NEGATIVEATTITUDEANDPASSIVEBEHAVIOUR
Lack of self confidence and low self esteem
Lack of self respect
Self putdowns
Negative feelings and thoughts about yourself
Feeliings of inferiority compared to others
Like others to be in control of people and situations
Feel guilty towards others
demotivated
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NEGATIVEATTITUDEANDMANIPULATIVEBEHAVIOUR
Lack of self confidence and low self esteem
Lack of self respect and lack of respect for others
Mistrustful and suspicious of others motives Negative feelings and thoughts about self and others
Feel very wary towards others
Dishonest and indirect
Twist what others have said
Undermine others self esteem Depressed and demotivated
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NEGATIVEATTITUDEANDAGGRESSIVEBEHAVIOUR
Lack of self confidence and low self esteem
Lack of respect towards others
Put others down
Feelings of superiority
Like to be in control of people and situations Disinterested in others thoughts and feelings
Feel angry towards others and are quick to blame them
Dont listen to or ask questions
Dismissive of feedback
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POSITIVEATTITUDEANDASSERTIVEBEHAVIOUR
Self confidence and high self esteemRespect for self and towards othersTake responsibility for self
Motivated to do a good job nterested in others feelings and thoughtsAsk questionsHonest and direct
Listen to othersAsk others for feedback
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4-SKILLS OF ASSERTIVENESS
a) Broken record
b) Fogging
c) Negative assertiond) Negative inquiry
e) Free information
f) Self disclosure
g)Workable compromise
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5-ASSERTIVENESS BY VERBAL ANDNONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
It aint what you say, it is the way that you say it
Tonation
Iwill phone you It will be me not any other person
Iwillphone you I will not forget!
I willphoneyou I will not write or visit.
I will phone you It will be you,not any other person.
Faces and the looks
Eye signal
Body image
Personal space
The gesture
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6-ASSERTIVENESS IN CULTURES
ASIAN
Lowdegree of individualism , nonassertive.
EUROPEAN,AMERICANHigh degree of individualism , assertive.
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7-HUMAN ASSERTIVE RIGHTS
The right to expresssexuality
The right to haveneeds and desires
The right to haveinformation
The right to havegoods or serviceswhich have beenpaid
The right to be
independent and tobe left alone
The right to say no
The right to betreated with respect
The right to do anything Theright to be assertive or non-assertive
The rwhich does not violate therights of others
ight to make choices
The right to change
The right to control overbody,time and possesions
The right to express opinionsand beliefs
The right to think well ofoneself
The right to make requests
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8-SAYING YES OR NO
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WHYISITDIFFICULTTOSAYNO?
If I say no,they may feel hurt or injected
If I say no this time, they may not like me anymore
If I say no this time,they may never ask again
They wont take any notice if I say no
They would say yes to me (and so I will feel guilty if I refusethem)
I cant say no, because I feel sorry for them
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HOWTOSAYNO ASSERTIVELY?
Start your reply with a clear,firm,audible no
Do not justify or make excuses.Giving a reason isdifferent from over-appologizing
Feel that you have a right to say no
Once you have said no , do not stay around waitingto be persuaded to change your mind.Make a
definite closure by changing the subject,walkingaway, continiuing with what you are doing-whateveris appropriate
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HOWTOSAYYES ASSERTIVELY
Say yes clearly and definitely
Identify why you would find it difficult
Examine thoughts realistically and ask yourself Having calarified thughts for yourself then
reaffirm your desire to say yes
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COMBININGYES ANDNO
yes and no may be combined assertively to define what wewant or what our limits are in a particular situation.
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9-THE IMPORTANCE OF ASSERTIVENESSIN ORGANISATIONS
Assertiveness
Personal identity
Wages or salary
Satisfaction from exercising
skills
Satisfaction from helping people
Social environment
Need to dealing with
Theirselves
The manager to whom they
report
Their colleagues
Their subordinates
Clients or customers
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10-ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING INWORK PLACE
Body-language awareness leading towork body oriented therapies
Role-plays and then work in psyhcodrama Awareness of other peoples perceptions
and so work in sensitivity groups andencounter
Looking at situations in the past whereone was, or was not assertive and hence
traditional psychoteraphy
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TECHNIQUESIN ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING
Verbal communication
Non-verbal communication
Anxiety reduction and control
Anger reduction and control, andredirection of this energy
Increase in self esteem
Awareness of self and others in
interpersonnal situations Awareness of social and cultural rules of
behaviour
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PROBLEMSIN ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING
The first major problem for assertion traininginvolves negative evaluations of assertive peopleby others
Confusion between assertion and aggression
Problem involves transfer of training,the difficultyexperienced by trainees in generalising assertivefrom the training context to real-life situations
Finally some of the difficulties in applying assertiontraining outside the training context may be due tointuitive training procedures that are inadequately
based in research
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THESKILLSOFHELPINGTHEPERSONTOCOMMITTOCHANGINGHIS/HERBEHAVIOURFROMNON-ASSERTIVETOASSERTIVE.
You will need action planning skills at this stageof the counselling process.In particular, youneed to help the person set clear objectives;amnemonic which can be useful is SMART.
This stands for:SpecificMeasurable
Achievable
RealisticTime oriented
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TO DECDE WHEN TO BE ASSERTVE
Do you know really what is the situation?
How much importance it has for you?
Will you get what you want?
Do you want to just express yourself?
What is your options? Do you want an optimistic result?
Are you ready to be assertive?
Did you count to the 10?
Is it beter to wait?
Will you get anger to yourself, ,f you dont do anything? Have you done your best?
What are the possible results and risks?
Will assertiveness cause a change?
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Prepared By;HIMANSHU SINGH
AMIT KUMAR YADAVRAM ANUJ VERMA
ISHA KUMARI
JITENDRA SINGH
SHIV KUMAR
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THANKS FOR YOUR ATTENTION