When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus,

“Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”

Luke 14:15

I Feel

July I Feel Emotion; comparison & contentment; worry.

Jesus wept. John 11:35 In your anger do not sin. Ephesians 4:26

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD! Psalm 150:6 Scripture-based exploration

Blue Book: Choose between so many! Loved by God; Letting Go; Fears; Tears; Trust; Wholeness; Joy & Celebration“Fix your eyes” is a Biblical concept of intentional focus and awareness on Jesus and heavenly things. It’s mentioned in Hebrews 12:2; Deuteronomy 11:18; Psalm 141:8; 2 Corinthians 4:18; and Hebrews 3:1.Read the minor prophet Jonah (four chapters) out loud as a group. Identify all of the emotions Jonah felt and note how God dealt with Jonah’s emotions.

Non-Scripture readingsBrené Brown’s Daring Greatly.

OnlineGoogle lists of “emotion words.” Use all of them you can (even checking them off the list). Not only will your vocabulary improve (ha!) but you will become more aware of how God made you… and emotions.

Artwork for the creatives• Portray the major emotions: glad, sad, angry.• Create a collage of everything that puts a smile on your face and bliss in your

heart this week vs everything that makes you upset/mad/angry.

MoviesWatch Disney/Pixar’s release “Inside Out.” Reference the chart and begin to identify how all of you in your group are feeling. For a more adult approach, watch one of your personal favorites simply to pay attention to the emotions. Name them as you all watch the movie together.

If you don’t have much time, listen to Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take the Wheel.” What emotions do you experience through the song?

Questions to ponder• How do your feelings reflect being made in the image of God?• In what ways do you typically compare yourself to others? What are your comparison patterns? Make a list.• Why do you think you compare yourself to others? {BIG question. Take your time.}• How do you think contentment and comparison are opposed to each other?• How do you feel when you are content? How do you feel when you are comparing yourself?• What do you do when you find yourself on the losing side of comparison? What is your inner dialogue?• What are you glad about? Sad about? Angry about? Make lists. Let it flow.• Do you think all emotions come from God? What emotions of His can you pin to Scriptures? • What do you do with the strong negative emotions like disgust, dismay, hate (not always a negative), fury,

apathy, hostility, extreme jealousy?

• What positive emotions do you experience the most? Think joy, elation, thankfulness, hope, triumph. Make a list as a group.

• What unique pressures, stresses, and gifts does social media bring into the conversation about comparison, emotions, and anxiety?

Music and WorshipYou’re the One that Really Matters, Kari Jobe and Michael W SmithIt Is Well (With My Soul)

Week One: Emotions (Rebekah) Emotions… what comes to mind when you hear that word? “Whew…” is my response. I have to take a

deep breath. Just the word itself has connotations for us - especially as women. There is the stereotype that we (as women) are “emotional”, a.k.a. unable to control our emotions and/or we use our emotions to manipulate people and situations. This is not what I’m talking about - but maybe it is a bit. The ways in which we feel, engage, show, and manage our emotions says quite a bit about our beliefs.

~Would you say you are aware of your emotions? Able to feel and express emotions? ~Do you bury your emotions/try not to feel them? When you begin to feel hurt or anger do you “sweep it under the rug” because you have Jesus and you “shouldn’t feel that way”? ~Does God feel/experience emotions? All emotions?

Take a few minutes and answer these questions (from Emotionally Healthy Woman Workbook): 1-very rarely true; 2-sometimes true, 3-often true, 4-very often true

It’s easy for me to identify what I am feeling inside.1 2 3 4

I am able to experience and express my anger in a way that leads to growth in others and myself. 1 2 3 4

I am honest with myself (and those with whom I trust) about my fears and doubts.1 2 3 4

When I go through a disappointment or a loss, I reflect on how I’m feeling. I don’t pretend that nothing is wrong.1 2 3 4

I am able to cry, experience my depression or sadness, explore the reasons behind it, and allow God to work in me through it.

1 2 3 4~What did you learn about yourself while answering these questions? Share them with your group.

Scripture is replete with emotion, both God’s and man’s. It is the revelation of a personal God to human persons made in His image. Since emotions are an important component of personhood, the Bible deals with the subject of emotions. The Bible frequently reveals God’s emotions so that our lives, including our emotions, might fully honor and glorify Him. Our emotions are one of the many manifestations of the image and glory of our great God.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, we have theories and operating principles about emotion. It should be no surprise that when Scripture does not form our thinking, especially about a matter such as emotion, which is so much a part of our lives, something else will. “Scripture not only speaks about emotions, it also speaks to and through our emotions. The Bible itself is emotional literature, filled with emotional expression and designed not just to communicate with our rationality but also to stir us emotionally, thus affirming our emotionality.” (D. G. Benner, “Emotion,” Evangelical Dictionary of Theology, p.352). If Christlikeness is our goal as His followers, that would include not only Christlike behavior and thoughts, but also Christlike emotions as well. Scripture contains the norms not just for our behavior and thinking, but also for our emotions. The Holy Spirit brings fruit into the life of the believer which is riddled with emotions – love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness – which make us more like Christ.

Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence) defines emotions as “referring to a feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological states, and range of propensities to act”. The words “emotion” and

“motive” are derived from the same Latin root, movere, which means “to move”. Specific emotions have by God’s design specific purposes and functions. For example, healthy anger motivates us to change or challenge injustice. Emotional experiences are not neutral; they are either facilitating the individual’s, and more importantly God’s, purposes and functions or they are not.

Alasdair Groves,** an Assistant to the Pastor at Christ Redeemer Church, speculates that our hearts are like an ocean. Oceans are always moving. Oceans are kept moving by winds, currents, and tides. Our hearts are similar. Our hearts are influenced/moved by our actions, thoughts and emotions. Think about it. We do not always feel love for family members or even have loving thoughts of them, but sometimes our acts of love and acts of service can bring about a change of our hearts. We begin to appreciate them in new ways. As we see them in a new light, our emotions can be influenced to actually feel love and affection for them. And vise versa; thinking about how we love another person can bring about actions to show that love. Our hearts are changed.

Pete Scazzero in his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (check out chapter 4!) has helped me by putting into words ideas that I had before had but been unable to express. God created us humans to feel a wide range of emotions; there are hundreds of them, all with variations and degrees. But researchers have decided on eight main categories:

Anger (fury, hostility, irritability, annoyance)Sadness (grief, self-pity, despair, dejection, loneliness)Enjoyment (joy, relief, contentment, delight, thrill, euphoria, ecstasy)Love (acceptance, trust, devotion, adoration)Surprise (shock, amazement, wonder)Disgust (contempt, scorn, aversion, distaste, revulsion)Fear (anxiety, edginess, nervousness, fright, terror, apprehension)Shame (guilt, remorse, humiliation, embarrassment, chagrin)

Problems can often arise when we encounter “difficult” emotions. Unknown to us, sometimes we have a “rule” against those emotions. We might feel as though we are “wrong” when we experience these emotions. “We then lie to ourselves, sometimes convincing ourselves that we aren’t feeling anything because we don’t think we should be feeling it. We shut down our humanity” (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, p.72). Pete Scazzero also says, “When we deny our pain, losses, and feelings year after year, we become less and less human. We transform slowly into empty shells with smiley faces painted on them” (p.70). (THIS IS SCARY!) Pete tells that when he began to allow himself to feel a wider range of emotions, he felt unleashed! FREE!

~Are there only certain emotions you are “allowed” to feel and express? ~What emotions are not “allowed”? ~Do you feel held captive by your emotions? Concerned that if you let go, you will lose control?

The call of discipleship includes experiencing our emotions, reflecting on them and then thoughtfully responding to our emotions under the Lordship of Jesus. “The problem, however, is that we can’t reflect and respond thoughtfully to our feelings if we don’t know what they are. So much of our true selves are buried alive - sadness, rage, anger, tenderness, joy, happiness, fear, depression. Yet God designed our bodies to respond physiologically to those in the world around us. God speaks to us through the knot in our stomach, muscle tension, trembling and shaking, the release of adrenaline into our bloodstream, headaches, and a suddenly elevated heart rate. God may be screaming at us through our physical body while we look for (and prefer) a more ‘spiritual’ signal. The reality is that often our bodies know our feelings before our minds” (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality p.71). When we neglect our most intense emotions, “we are false to ourselves and close off an open door through which to know God” (p.72). This is not to say that we should blindly follow our emotions. I think we can all understand where this can and often does lead (look at any 3 year old, and unfortunately many older individuals also). We need to acknowledge our emotions as part of the way God may be speaking to us, along with bringing all of our emotions under His Lordship and guidance. “Allow yourself to experience the full weight of your emotions. Allow them without censoring them. Then you can reflect and thoughtfully decide what to do with them. Trust God to come to you through them” (p.74).

God aims to establish his Lordship not just over our actions and thoughts, but also over our emotions, affections, and feelings. When the Lord is not Lord over our emotions, either they rule us or we use them to rule others. This is not freedom. This is bondage. He has set us Free, Completely (that means emotionally too)! What is the source of your joy and happiness? What do you grieve and become sad about most? What is it that provokes your anger? Who or what do you fear most? Do your affections indicate that you love Him above all other gods with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? Our emotional states are windows into our souls, revealing the allegiance of our hearts. Let us endeavor to think God’s thoughts after Him, conform our actions to His Word, and experience emotions that reflect and honor Him.

Take some time together to read over and discuss these scriptures. What emotion is being shown? Who is expressing it? How? How is God revealing Himself? What does this stir up in you regarding God, emotions, and yourself? Genesis 1:25,31Genesis 6:6Exodus 20:5Jeremiah 30:24Jeremiah 31:3Psalm 22Psalm 42Psalm 46 (check out the Cedar Springs sermon from June 18th)Lamentations 3Matthew 21:12-13Matthew 26:37-38Luke 19:41-44John 11:33-36Romans 8:31-39

**Hear more from Alasdair Groves on emotions on their church website, christredeemerchurch.org/home/sermon_categories/a-theology-of-emotions/

Week Two: Worry (Summers) “The Lord your God will never leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 If you’re anything like me, not a day goes by that you don’t find something to worry about. Big things, tiny things. Real things, imagined things. Bookstores are filled with books about getting rid of worry and anxiety. It’s nothing new, but worry and anxiety certainly plays a big role in our culture and society. Recently as I have been reading through the Psalms, I have been thinking a lot about David. His life certainly was full of strife (much of it brought on himself). His raw emotional pleas in the psalms can appear to match our cries of worry, stress, and fearful anxiety. However, I have noticed some things David modeled that might just give us a clue about how to be women after God’s own heart and to live without being driven by worry. In the familiar 27th Psalm, we listen to the words of David as he prays in verse 4, “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to see him in his temple.” Whenever I hear someone say “one thing,” I tilt my head and listen. David is telling us the “one thing” that he wants in life. He desires to experience the unbroken presence of the Living God. He wishes to be close up, face to face with God. Think about it: the face is where we see and hear each other. When we come face to face with the living God, we engage in relationship with God. David is saying that he doesn’t want to know God distantly or to know God generally. He wants to be personal and intimate in his connection with God.

Can we, like David, say that our “one thing” is to be in the presence of God? If not, this might clue us into our places of worry in our life. Tim Keller says David is explaining in verse 4 that “our fears are directly proportional to the vulnerability of the things that are our greatest joys. If the thing that is my greatest joy is God, I will live without fear. If my one thing… the thing I most want… is God, I am safe.” We can (and sometimes do) lose everything else, but we’ll never lose God. That is good news. Actually, it’s the best news. David goes on in verse 5, “I’ll be safe in the tabernacle, the tent of God.” We must remember that David isn’t safe -- he has real people with real weapons chasing after him. But he finds his safety not in the removal of all stressful circumstances or fearful environment. Instead, he finds his comfort in being in the presence of God. We have so many good things in our lives: family, job, romance, house, friendship. All really good, wonderful things. Often times good things become the “one thing” we think we have to have in order to be happy. This is so challenging because we worry about real things, good things. The things that turn into little idols in our lives are almost always good things. God made them and they’re wonderful; this is the exact reason they often slip into the center of our lives. And yet this is when anxiety comes, when “good desires become inordinate desires, disproportionate-to-their-being desires. Anxiety is always the result of the implosion or the collapse of a false god” (Tim Keller). We can thwart this implosion, this fear of losing our stuff -- whatever form our stuff might take -- by fixing our gaze and our hearts on that which we’ll never lose: the love of God. You have probably noticed that I haven’t given you a step-by-step manual for getting rid of worry. The truth is that it’s actually regeneration, a new heart, a new way of life. And we all know that nothing lasting is ever solved with a quick fix or easy 1-2-3. Instead, as we day by day make God our “one thing,” we eventually develop a habit of the heart and a whole orientation toward God emerges. And we find ourselves worrying less.

Week Three: Comparison (Suzanne)

“I feel so inadequate compared to her.” “Her pictures are so cute; look at her kids; I feel jealousy in me, and I’m embarrassed by that.” “I wish I looked like her.” “I wish I had their lifestyle.” These are words of comparison, and the feelings they carry are heavy loads. Jesus invites us to lay down our burdens (Matthew 11:28) and share the load with Him (Matthew 11:29,30), so let’s explore comparison in light of the gospel.

Read with me John 21:15-23:15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) 21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

The secret to killing comparison, according to this passage, lies in two parts: 1- re-directing yourself to Jesus and 2- following Jesus. And in this culture, I emphasize, stay close!

Fix Your EyesJesus makes it clear that He has individual pathways for each of the people in His family. John’s direction was one way; Peter’s was another. So it is with you. Your best friend may be married, you may be single. You may be plain, and everyone else you see on social media may seem smashing. You may not understand math; one of your closest friends may be an engineer. You may have thick ankles or blotchy skin or crazy hair or a crappy car; others may not. You may not be able to afford living in a certain area of town or style home, while your friends can. Your parents may be together; someone else’s, divorced. Your brother may have committed suicide, and everyone else’s families seem so happy. You may not be able to cope with your fears; others may be game, hardy, intrepid. You see this … feel this … and the inferiority and anxiety and inadequacy rise within you.

I picture Jesus seeing you in this process, looking at you in the face, taking your chin, pulling it away from your phone, your Instagram feed, your closet, your body, all your distractions, and directing you to look at Him, square in the eye. I picture your eyes refocusing, the pupils changing, until you see Jesus, really see Him, and realize what you are doing.

You are comparing. Why do we compare ourselves to others? Why do we tend toward comparison, either feeling superior or inferior to others? Why do we let it happen, feed into it, react to it?

Jesus redirects Peter when he gets distracted by John’s destiny, especially in light of bad news for Peter. Jesus wants to do the same with us. “Fix your eyes” is a Biblical concept of intentional focus and awareness on Jesus and heavenly things. It’s mentioned in Hebrews 12:2; Deuteronomy 11:18; Psalm 141:8; 2 Corinthians 4:18; and Hebrews 3:1.

Let’s look closely at Hebrews 12:1,2: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

When your eyes are fixed on Him, it doesn’t matter where you live, what you drive, even what size pants you wear. Your concerns go deeper and become (over time) less worldly. You realize you have a race to run, and it’s different from others around you. You take your eyes off of them and refocus on Jesus. “Jesus, what do You want me to drive? Do? See? Post?” Your security in Him grows with practice. But you must practice.

Yes, your friend is beautiful and wealthy and shapely; but she also has difficult places in her life, or will. Because you release your own insecurities and comparison, you can minister to her and love her well. If you don’t release your comparison, you may end up gloating over her difficulty. Let’s be clear: God does not like that.

You Follow MeJesus wants you. He wants your life, your energy, your ambition, your days, your nights. He wants to transform you into one of His family, one of His co-heirs, one of His priests and saints so you will bring His Kingdom to this broken world. As He works in you, He works in you to love and heal this ailing world.

Your imperfections are a gift. They keep you humble, approachable, and needy. In the Kingdom of God, people make up the Church Body. The Body works together to form a whole (see Romans 12:4-8, 1 Corinthians 12:4-30). None of us is whole and complete apart from Christ and each other. Embrace your lack, your need, your incompleteness here on earth. It’s part of the plan. In Christ, you have everything you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

As a follower of Christ, you have given Him your life. If He directs you to live in a dump, to earn a paltry wage, to be unseen, to not be on the national ministry radar … then embrace His will for you in that. Leave this world and it’s passing status symbols behind. In the context of comparison, He doesn’t care about your wrinkles, your sagging, or your hair color; your Facebook status or your number of likes; your home size or your dress size;

your 401K. He sees you. He knows you. He wants your very heart, your very soul, as well as all those other things that we mentioned before. He wants your wrinkles for His Kingdom; your home for His Kingdom; your money for His Kingdom. Release your life to His care, and releasing comparison becomes much easier.

I think if He was standing right here, He would say, “I love you, not these trappings. Comparison is futile, a distraction from what I am asking of you. Keep looking to Me to fill you, to give you meaning, and to grant you joy. Things and people will do that in limited ways, for I have designed them; but this is an imperfect world, an incomplete place, so you must refocus on Me. I am your best destiny, your best focus, your sole source of true life. I can place you in the worst of circumstances and you can be the most content, peaceful person on the planet if you lean on Me. I have children with an abundance of possessions and children in poverty; children who fit a stereotype of beauty for your time and others who do not. I ask the same of all of My children: love Me, first and best. I will give you all you need while you are here on this earth, but you will be astounded when you get to Heaven. There will be no comparison there. There, you will worship Me, not the praise of others, not the culture’s standards, not your own sense of self.

Get free from the power of comparison by refocusing on Me and being thankful in what I give you. I know what’s best. I may withhold something from you for your protection or your benefit. Trust in My timing and My provision for you. I’ve been a good Father for a long time now — trust My love for you.”

To wrap this up:How do you compare yourself with others? What is your pattern?What trips you up the most/triggers comparison (families, houses, vacations, clothes, money, relationships, fame, “big” ministry, “perfect” life, fitness, body stuff, intelligence, job status)?What (perceived) hole are you trying to fill — what does comparison point out to you on a soul level (loneliness, sadness, love/feelings of unlovable, self-worth, etc.)?What are ways you can notice when you begin comparing yourself to others? How can you stop?If God gave you the "thing" you want, what would have to change in your life right now? For example, if you want kids = time, money, energy, love, sleep. If you want that ideal wardrobe/body = $$, time, exercise, food choices, etc.).How has God uniquely called you right now? Are you missing opportunities with and for Him because you are comparing/dreaming of "when/if"? What is God telling you is none of your concern, but you want it to be your concern? What will it take for you to follow Him with your whole heart and leave comparison behind?

Week Four: Check these. Where on this wheel do you most commonly live?

Where do you find each of these emotions in the Bible? For a few examples read about Hannah in 1 Samuel 1; Jacob and Esau’s relationship in Genesis 31-33; Joseph in Genesis 50; Paul in Acts 27; John in Revelation 1; Mary Magdalene in John 20.

Explore the main 8 categories of emotions:Anger (fury, hostility, irritability, annoyance)Sadness (grief, self-pity, despair, dejection, loneliness)Enjoyment (joy, relief, contentment, delight, thrill, euphoria, ecstasy)Love (acceptance, trust, devotion, adoration)Surprise (shock, amazement, wonder)Disgust (contempt, scorn, aversion, distaste, revulsion)

Fear (anxiety, edginess, nervousness, fright, terror, apprehension)Shame (guilt, remorse, humiliation, embarrassment, chagrin)

Short Form: If my group can’t do all this stuff From Suzanne: Write out ways you compare yourself to others. What patterns do you observe in your group? Another thought: I have heard it said, “The body is a major prophet, not a minor one.” What is your body saying about your emotions?

Watch one of your favorite movies together, noting the emotions and calling them out. In what ways do the emotions and situations show that people are made in the image of God, who created emotions?

From Summers: List all of your worries. Now discuss this quote from Summers: “Can we, like David, say that our “one thing” is to be in the presence of God? If not, this might clue us into our places of worry in our life. The truth is that it’s actually regeneration, a new heart, a new way of life. And we all know that nothing lasting is ever solved with a quick fix or easy 1-2-3. Instead, as we day by day make God our “one thing,” we eventually develop a habit of the heart and a whole orientation toward God emerges.” How can you cooperate with God in this process of reorientation?

From Rebekah: Take the emotion questionnaire from Emotionally Healthy Woman. Discuss what you learned about yourself. Read through the list of emotions. What emotions do you have difficulty feeling, expressing, and/or acknowledging? Take some time to explore your emotions. Take two minutes for each of the following questions (from Emotionally Healthy Skills 2.0), and each member silently write as many responses that come to mind. They can be from the present, recent past, or distant past. It is ok if a response is listed for multiple questions.

1.What are you angry about? (past or present) 2. What are you sad about? (e.g. small or big losses, disappointments, choices) 3. What are you worried/anxious/afraid about? (e.g. money, future, family) 4. What are you glad about? (e.g. people, opportunities)

Share with one another what this experience was like for you. What did you learn? Look/talk through a few of the scriptures above. Pray together that the Lord would reveal Himself to you, that He would help you to experience, share, and bring to Him your emotions.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart

    be pleasing in your sight,     Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14