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CHAPTER – 5

ATTITUDINAL VARIANCE: A LOGICAL CONSUMMATION

Anita Desai and Kamala Markandaya portray the world of

Indian married women as they perceive it. Writing in the second half

of the twentieth century, these writers do not profess any special

affinity for feminist theories nor do they reveal a strong, anti-male

stance anywhere. It is true that these novelists are rather concerned

with the disturbing question of the existence of women, but they were

not misogynists seeking a world without men. These novelists deal

with women belonging to both rural and urban, poor and upper

classes of the society. The protagonists depicted in their novels,

showed resemblance to each other in some respects. At the same time,

their individual characteristics have set them apart from each other

and contribute to the variety of protagonists that one comes across in

these novels.

The study of the selected novels of Anita Desai and Kamala

Markandaya reveal remarkable similarities and differences in their

attitudes and vision. They derive their material primarily from their

inward and outward (subjective and objective) experiences of life. Their

themes have a profound socio-cultural and psychological significance.

They have succeeded in capturing the transitional phases of the

rapidly changing roles of contemporary women in India. The

divergences between the two writers emerge only when the individual

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works are set against the specific psychological and socio-cultural

milieu.

Both the writers have captured the socio-cultural changes that

have radically affected the lives of women since the fifties. The

comparative study of these writers on the Concept of Indian Wife has

shed light on several aspects of Indian tradition and culture. A

comparative study of their fiction reveal the fundamental unity of

human perception; especially that of women’s perception. Both the

writers depict the real images of women in the Indian society. The

selected three novels of each writer have been explored to analyze the

main aspects regarding the life viz. marriage, migration, motherhood

and midlife of an Indian woman as wife. In their fiction women

characters are brought to the centre stage and their characters are

elaborately explored in bringing out their power. However, there is a

notable difference between the two writers with respect to the attitude

of their central characters towards life.

Desai’s women seem to put individuality above every thing else.

Most of them are basically tragic characters and introverts. They fail

to cope with their surroundings, their families and society. They are

psychologically disturbed, morbid, self-absorbed and incoherent in

their manners and expression. The desire to live and love clash so

violently in them, that their interpersonal relationships become

dissonant and jarring and drive them to withdrawal and alienation. Of

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course, Desai justifies her selection of solitary and introspective

characters. She says:

Well, I think, solitary and introspective people are always

very aware of living on the brink. Anyone of us might one

day face an experience which may push one over, but

perhaps my introspective characters are more aware than

others are of what lies on the other side.1

Desai is primarily concerned with the psychological problems of

neurotic women. Neuroticism is a psychological problem. Anita Desai

is highly interested in the presentation of the psychological problems

of neurotic women of all the ages. The description of psychological

problems becomes the base of her writings. Like Kamala Markandaya

she is well aware of social problems that affect the people in their

personal life. She believes that these social problems determine

human mind and finally human beings become the victims of their

problems.

Desai’s women remain within their orbits and protested against

lack of variety, injustice and humiliations. This does not mean that

Desai’s women do not desire for harmonious and peaceful life. They

have a desire for a deeper union of minds in conjugal relationship but

they are introverts who refuse to compromise and, they have the

inability to accept the perspective of their respective partners which

inevitably results in isolation and loneliness. Though Desai’s women

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are not fully cut off from familial and social ties their relationships

with others are characterized by dissonance and despair.

On the other hand, Markandaya’s women have a deep

understanding of life, love and concern towards family members, self-

sacrificing nature and also possess practical wisdom of life. They get

adjusted with the circumstances and feel that they have been happy

and will remain happy in future. This infuses in them a sense of

fulfillment and tranquility.

It is clear that Markandaya is a trenchant defender of

affirmative humanistic values. Her vision is downright realistic and

practicable rather than utopian. She places the chief characters

amidst various challenges of life in order to assert unconquerable

spirit of humanity. The women characters appear so real that one gets

a feeling that one has lived with them and known them most

intimately.

Passive acceptance, calm resignation is again and again

advocated so that one may bend and not break. This typical Indian

response to the human predicament is brought out in almost all

women characters. Though this spirit of passive acceptance may seem

to be a sign of weakness to Western eyes – but in reality it is a sign of

their strength. She gives utmost importance to Indian values of life.

Talking about her national pride, Meenakshi Mukerjee comments:

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Her national pride is seen in the fact that in each one of

her novels, it is the East which finally wins.2

Markandaya is of the opinion that Indian women should confidently

pursue her own path holding fast to her traditional values and using

methods appropriate to her culture. She should also try to assimilate

the best in Western culture. Hence, she presents typical Indian

women characters who are adherent strictly to Indian value system.

Her practical women characters appear seemingly happier than

Desai’s women.

The reason for happiness in Kamala Markandaya’s women or

gloominess in Anita Desai’s women is because of their attitude

towards life. It is the vision of life which makes the life happy or sad.

Man attains ultimate peace when he or she achieves what he or she

desires in life. The achievement of peace depends upon man’s vision of

life. Most of the human attitudes are shaped during formative years of

life. While men are born with tendencies towards temperaments, there

are some factors that largely determine the formation of attitude. Shiv

Khera, a personality development trainer, analyses the factors that

determine the formation of attitude in human beings as follows:

Attitudes in human beings are determined by three

factors. These are the triple E’s of attitude which include:

environment, experience and education. 3

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Environment consists of home atmosphere, cultural, social, religious

environments, traditions and beliefs etc. All these environments create

a culture. Every place - be it a home or a country - has a culture. In a

positive environment, the attitude of the individual is always positive.

In the same way, it is tough to expect positive behaviour in a negative

environment.

Similarly, human behaviour changes according to their

experiences with various people. If he or she has a positive experience

with persons, the attitude towards them is likely to be positive and

conversely negative experiences tend to make them cautious.

Experiences and events become reference points in one’s lives; he or

she draws conclusions which serve as guidelines for their future.

A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons. He

or she is always welcome. A positive attitude makes for a pleasing

personality which inspires others and increases enjoyment of life. It

also fosters better relationships and reduces stress in life by making

the atmosphere congenial.

For a person with negative attitude life becomes restricted. It

creates an unpleasant environment at home. These people find

difficulty in keeping friendships, marriages and relationships. Negative

attitude leads to bitterness and resentment which increases stress in

life. These people pass on their negative behaviour to others around

them and also to the future generations.

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Though human nature is aware of its negative attitude, it resists

change because change is uncomfortable. Regardless of its positive

and negative effect, change is often stressful. Sometimes one gets so

comfortable with their negativity that even when the change is for the

better, they don’t want to accept it. Thus the life becomes more and

more restricted.

Education refers to both formal and informal types. Indians

drown themselves in information but starve for knowledge and

wisdom. Strategically applied knowledge translates into wisdom which

in turn translates into success. Education whether formal or informal,

should not only teach human beings how to make a living but also

how to live. Hence, these factors shape the positive and negative

aspects of human beings.

Thus when the selected novels of Desai’s and Markandaya’s are

analyzed in the light of these aspects, they give a clear picture of how

the attitudes are formed during the formative years of childhood and

adolescence – combine the experiences and education that one

receives in certain environment.

Both Kamala Markandaya and Anita Desai believe that the

personality-pattern of parents, quality of their interaction with

children, and the disturbing or wholesome home environment, all

combine together to exert a lasting influence on the tender psyche of a

growing child. Both of them focus upon the abiding nature and far-

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reaching influence of these tenuous links between parents and

children on childhood. For Kamala Markandaya, the filial bonds

served as bulwark in one’s time of need and affliction. These enduring

ties, in her novels, become the broad edifice on which the later

relationships depend. For instance, at the tender age of twelve,

Rukmani (Nectar in a Sieve) understands her parents’ inability to

marry her to a rich man unlike her sisters. She does not show any

resentment towards her parents. Unlike Maya, (Cry, The Peacock) who

broods over the past, Rukmani praises her parents for preparing her

to face the challenges of life positively. She appreciates her father’s

foresight for teaching her the basics of reading and writing. But the

course of parent-child relationship is not consistently smooth in all

her novels. The economic pressures affect the solidarity of this

relationship in Nectar in a Sieve and in A Handful of Rice. But they are

neither bitter nor resentful. Inspite of poor economic status, Jayamma

and Apu (A Handful of Rice) welcome their married daughters

Thangam and Nalini along with their respective husbands and

children to stay with them. Being a mother, Jayamma has soft corner

for her daughters. She cannot see them suffer because of their useless

husbands. Similarly, when Ira takes to prostitution due to poverty, the

bonds between Ira and her parents become sour; but they do not

grumble at each other. In A Silence of Desire Sarojini and Dandekar

get through hell in their martial relationship but they are sincerely

concerned about the emotional needs of their children. Dandekar is

really disturbed when he sees his daughter in distress.

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The congenial home environment is required for the balance of

relationships. But in Anita’s world a wholesome satisfying emotional

interaction between the parents and children is not found. For

instance, over-pampering of Maya (Cry, The Peacock) by her father

becomes a stumbling block in her way of maturity which later

becomes the root cause of disillusionment in her marital ties. Sita’s

(Where Shall We Go This Summer?) lack of self-control and her

melodramatic tantrums are the result of her being neglected by her

father and rejected by her mother. The dubious ways of her father fill

her with anxiety, fear and distrust that make her wholly incapable of

having a balanced emotional interaction with her husband or

children. Raka (Fire on the Mountain) the great grand daughter of

Nanda is a victim of emotional deprivation as her father is a drunkard

and mother is in no condition to take care of her emotional needs.

Hence their uncongenial childhood environment provides them only

with a simple imprinting of an emotional bond. It does not become a

foundation for healthy interpersonal relationships and adjustments.

Regarding the aspect of experience of life, Maya and Sita belong

to an aristocracy of sensibility. Earning their daily bread is no problem

for them. They are not involved in the real business of living. They

have rather plenty of time for procrastination and musings that

become their bane – making them brittle. They have got nothing to

occupy themselves with. To some extent Nanda Kaul could live to be a

great grand-mother even though her martial relationship has been

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unbearable yoke for her. Her sense of duty and excessively busy life

saved her from disintegration. Desai’s women have idealized notions of

relationships and unusual expectations from those who are related.

These expectations lead to disharmony and despair in them. Caught

in the dichotomy between reality and idealism, they fail to derive the

innocent pleasure of living with the bewildering variety of human

beings. Their heightened sensibilities, idealistic notions and tendency

to expect more than what they gave make them feel fragmented and

unfulfilled.

Majority of Kamala’s characters are preoccupied with the issues

of physical survival. They have some vocation in their life. Sarojini (A

Silence of Desire) is busy bringing up her little son and looking after

her two daughters. Rukmani and Nalini are busy fighting against

annihilating forces of hunger and deprivation. In a way, Kamala

Markandaya’s novels provide platform of propaganda against the evils

of the society. She gives fresh insights into the ambivalence of change

in women and men and in human nature. She is convinced that

emancipation is closely linked to the eradication of poverty. This is the

reason why she deliberately wrote against hunger, want and depravity

that inevitably lead to spiritual hunger and apathy. Through Rukmani

and Nalini, the author exposes the harrowing experiences of the poor,

and urges the readers to find solutions. They do not have enough to

guarantee an ordinary mode of living; otherwise they can trace out all

the problems. Largely concerned with the present, they have no time

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to brood over the past and future. Their practical vision of life makes

them realists. Their experiences of life teach them to adapt themselves

to the situations that occur in their life. Markandaya opines that a

woman needs a vision of herself with power, enough to assert herself

in life, to motivate her and others around her towards the welfare of

the human race. On the contrary, the experiences of Anita’s

characters, teaches them to achieve harmony and tranquility by

alienating themselves and escaping from the demands and

expectations inherent in human ties.

Kamala Markandaya’s heroines are not formally educated like

Anita Desai’s heroines. But they have abundance of commonsense

called wisdom required for smooth running of life. For instance,

Rukmani, Nalini, and Sarojini are quick at modifying themselves

according to the changing circumstances. Kamala Markandaya stress

the importance of education. Through Rukmani and Nalini, she pleads

for better education and employment opportunities so that the

inherent biases in the social structure can be removed. Markandaya

feels that passive acceptance of life is clearly seen among illiterate and

superstitious women of rural India, than among women in the

sophisticated cities. However, due to lack of awareness the spirit of

passive acceptance enables them to tolerate much more than that

would have been possible otherwise. One will be amazed at their

tenacity and their endurance through extremes of poverty, hunger and

misery. They may bend, but their fatalism keeps them from breaking.

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She evolves towards a larger concept of universal love, caring and

concord which by its very extension ensures the endurance and

vitality of Indian womanhood, whereas Anita’s heroines, Maya, Nanda

and Sita though formally educated, turn inward or backward when

circumstances throw unexpected challenges to them. Kamala’s

heroines are aware of simple truths of happy living. For example,

when Rukmani and Sarojini become aware of illegal relationships of

their husbands, they do not commit the mistake of judging their

spouses from the bookish norms of morality or idealism. In fact, they

forgive them whole-heartedly without any inhibitions. When there is

an argument between Ravi and Nalini (A Handful of Rice) knowing

fully well of Ravi’s nature, Nalini withdraws from the argument.

After analyzing the characters of married women in the novels of

these writers’, it is clear that environment profiles, experiences of life

and education in real sense, played a vital role in shaping the

attitudes and visions of human life, irrespective of the gender. But the

attitude can be altered or changed according to the demands of the

circumstances. Hence, adults are responsible for their attitude and

behaviour regardless of environment, education and experience

The writers too stress the need for attitudinal change in women

to deal with their personal and marital problems. Along with the

effects of environment, experience and education, the writers have

discussed problems related to women viz. incompatibility in marriage,

divorce, hypersensitivity in women, suicidal temperament, problems of

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single-parent brought up, ethics and economic problems, idleness in

life, etc. in their novels. But they do not give direct possible solutions

to the problems of women. They present the problems and their effects

on the lives of women through their women characters. They leave it

to the choice of the readers to unravel the ways which suited the best

for the contemporary times.

When the women characters are analyzed in the vicinity of

marriage, it is observed that the incompatibility in their marital life is

due to lack of proper communication of their feelings to their life-

partners. Maya, Sita, Nanda Kaul, Kunthi, and Jayamma fail to

communicate their feelings to their spouses. One needs to

communicate impeccably to keep relationships flawless. With proper

communication, problems and misunderstandings between couples do

not grow. To keep up the marriages, one needs to focus on the best

and neglect all the rest. Rukmani and Nalini focuses on the best and

affirmative aspects related to their husbands. One should make the

time each day amid the chaos of everyday tasks to grow relationships

by offering a smile, a positive word, a caring gesture, etc. It is one way

of nurturing relationships. For instance, Sarojini never misses a smile

and caring gesture for her husband. Though it is not interesting for

her, she listens attentively to her husband’s narration about his office

and his colleagues. She understands the fact that, something

important to someone important to her should become important to

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her as well. This simple thought in this simple woman saves her

relationship with her husband.

Migrating to new place after marriage into the world of

strangers is always a source of anxiety and fear for woman. One needs

to be confident to adapt to the new conditions. Adapting to new

conditions and new people is like skiing in an uncertain weather. But

the true test of the ability is how one ski the hard times. Difficult

times are the ones that reveal what one is made up of. Turbulent

conditions actually elevate ones’ hidden potiential. When one

consistently move closer to what one is resisiting, it will build

confidence in the individual to face it. But people with negative

attitude blame the whole world – parents, spouses, the stress, fate,

luck – for their failures. Instead of facing the realities of life they try to

shield themselves in illusions and pretences. The women characters

Maya, Sita and Nanda always live in the world of fantasies insulating

themselves from the realities. But one should remember that what one

resist will persist and what one befriends will transcend.

Refusing to embrace the change in life leads to failure because

trying to stay safe in their comfort zone is actually putting themselves

in highly unsafe and dangerous zone. They have to get away from the

past and get back into the mainstream of life. When one deals with

fear in them, it will actually turn into power and introduce them to

their strength and stamina. One has to start looking for what is right

in a person or situation instead of looking for what is wrong. One has

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to count ones’ blessings, not the troubles. Every curse has

corresponding blessing. Each piece of adversity also carries with it a

new source of good. And every dream that dies, a better one can come

to life. One has to accentuate positive thoughts and eliminate negative

thoughts. But the tragedy is that people often merely analyze life

instead of dealing with it.

People dissect their failures for causes and effects, and seldom

deal with them and gain experience to master them and thereby avoid

their recurrence. One needs to be patient and persistent with the

process of change. One cannot draft failures of their life into success

by remaining struck in ones past. For instance, Maya (Cry, The

Peacock) could have saved herself from disintegration if she has come

out from the insulated world of dreamland to face the reality of this

world. Nanda (Fire on the Mountain) could also have been saved from

disgust if she has been her real self without isolating herself from

people who are close to her.

These women cannot save themselves because they fail to make

small adjustments in life. They could have been saved from

disintegration if they have sought the help of their elders in the family.

Maya and Nanda could have told their problems to their mothers-in-

law who are there with them for sometime. Elders with their

experience could have counseled them and might have suggested

some possible solutions to their problems. But unfortunately, these

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women being introverts could not express their feelings to anyone

close to them.

On the other hand, Sita though bit lately, realizes the

importance of togetherness, and achieved peace and harmony in her

life. As she has decided to compromise with her present life, she is

saved from disintegration. Markandaya’s characters understand what

forces determine the personal freedom. Rukmani, Nalini, Sarojini

emphasize the positive aspects of life and ignore the negative aspects

of life. The difference between Anita Desai’s and Kamala Markandaya’s

women lay in the way they make choices to evolve their lives’ destiny.

One cannot not control all the events that happen in lives, but can

control how one deals with them. If one has trust and focus of control

on one’s life, more decisions can be made avoiding external pressures.

Life is what one presumes it to be. Speaking about the destiny of life,

Abdul Kalam says:

Desire, when it stems from the heart and spirit, when it is

pure and intense, possesses awesome electromagnetic

energy. This energy is released into the ether each night,

as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it

returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic

current. That which has been imaged will surely and

certainly be manifested.4

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Hence destiny of ones’ life is pre-determined. One has to accept

destiny and go ahead with life. This is the true philosophy of Indian

life. In truth, there is no condition in life which is either wholly “good”

or “bad”. It is just the way one perceives it makes it bad or good.

Ultimately one alone create the life, one gets to live.

All Anita Desai’s novels do not end on a note of despair. In Fire

on the Mountain Nanda Kaul’s experience of facing the truth lasted

only for a moment but this realization of that moment is eternal. Sita,

in Where Shall We Go This Summer? willing to return to Bombay to

face the future is indication of optimistic state of mind. Gautama’s

mother turns to social service for self-fulfillment; and unlike her

daughter Nila, do not face unspeakable agonies. Gautama’s mother

has the capacity to combine her complete devotion equally to her

family and towards social service.

Both the writers discuss the effects of single-parenthood on

children. They perceive motherhood to be an important aspect in

woman’s life. It is the mother who played the key role in shaping the

attitude of children. The child who has a mother who listened to his or

her inner anguish was considered to be a luckiest child. The influence

of mother on the behaviour patterns of the child is more than that of a

father. Indian history and mythology are replete with examples where

mothers are responsible for shaping their children into great

personalities. For instance, Sita, the mythological character of

Ramayana, rears Lava and Kusa as befitting sons of Rama. She has

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done this individually without Rama’s help. Mura raises her son

Chandra Gupta to become a great Emperor of India who later

established Mauryan dynasty. Shivaji became the great Maratha king

under the able guidance of his mother Jijiyabhai. They are the

mothers with strong character who has individually given all the

needed attention of both the parents to their children. This speaks

about the significance of mother in the life of the child. But in modern

times, children from single-parenting (either mother or father) are at

risk when they are experiencing parenting inadequate in terms of

attention. For instance, the protagonists Maya, Nila, Sita and Raka

are victims of single-parenthood.

The Institute for the Study of Civil Society in Indonesia has

observed that children living with single-parent are about three times

more likely to kill themselves or end in the hospital after an attempt of

suicide trial by the age of twenty-six. The protagonist, Maya, commits

suicide at the tender age of twenty four years as she is unable to

compromise with her life. Motherless Maya who is pampered by her

father, fail to realize that in the real world, pleasant and unpleasant,

satisfied and unsatisfied persons exist side by side. Raka becomes

recluse at the tender age of nine because of scant attention of her

parents. Infact, this is the reason why the Indian elders do not

encourage the idea of taking divorce by their children. Maya’s mother-

in-law is against her daughter’s decision to take divorce. She is

worried about the future of her grand-children. Rukmani too tries to

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convince her son-in-law to continue to live with Ira. But it goes in

vain. The result is that her grandson, Sacrobani is without father who

is looked down by others with contempt.

Both the writers believe in empowerment of women. They want

the women have some vocation in life. Potential unrealized in women

turns to pain and later to their destruction. One needs to engage

oneself in some activity or other to keep the mind sane. This idea is

depicted through the character of Maya’s mother-in-law. She feels that

women themselves are responsible for their predicament, and so

bluntly asserted, “Women place themselves in bondage to men,

whether in marriage or out. All their joy and ambition is channeled

that way, while they go parched themselves.”5 She has absolutely

different temperament which Maya, Nila and Sita do not have; thus

she alone can say, “It doesn’t cost men much to show spirit. It’s when

I see it in a woman that I am pleased. A girl must have a spirit and a

profession, I always say, and no one can take up a profession from

which she gets pleasure.”6 She gives importance to vocation in the life

of women. She feels that one cannot always have successful and

happy life just because someone is lucky and their stars line up. It is

because luck is created by lucky people and life is what one created

for themselves consciously.

Ultimately, Kamala Markandaya and Anita Desai, through their

fiction, give the message of adjustment and acceptance and not that

of a belligerent protest. A woman have to lead normal life in the

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society assimilating all the aspects of life i.e. love, attraction, hate,

trivial quarrels, etc. This does not mean they are against woman’s

need for personal space and individual identity. It is only when some

deliberate injustice is done to her or some basic right is willfully

violated or snatched from her that she has to rise, stand and fight

paying any price.The writers seem to aim at a social structure that is

congenial to all humanity irrespective of their gender. With deep

imaginative insight, they trace in their novels the lives of

contemporary women realistically, retaining at the same time the

sense of wonder and mystery that lies at the root of existence.

Since the women writers enjoy a substantial visibility today, and

are widely read, it is their responsibility to arouse the inactive,

lethargic women from their slumber, so that they shed their baseless

fears and inhibitions and stand up against the forces which are

working as hindrances for them for happy relationships with others

and also curbing their freedom and progress in the society. In fact,

Ashapurna Debi, a famous Bengali women writer, is of the opinion

that modern woman’s role as wife has become even more challenging

in the present scenario than that of the past. She opines that: “there

is contradictory change in the expectation of man from women. Man

wants his wife to be traditional, obedient and at the same time he

wants her to be modern, good-looking, well-dressed smart

companion.”7 This has widened the vicinity of her role as wife in

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present scenario. Hence, she suggests women to develop multi-tasking

capabilities to face the challenges of life.

Another weakness that has crept into the minds of modern

woman is the overdose of suspicion and doubt. She sees some selfish

motive in man’s intentions and behaviour, but sees it being magnified.

In her struggle for liberty and equality the modern woman can’t wink

at the fact that as the blind submission is undesirable, so is the

unwarranted suspicion. Infact, the contemporary Indian society wants

to see that “Potential Sita” who is within “Pativratha Sita” in Indian

women. She is that Sita who is not only the cherished wife of Rama,

but also a woman who faces all challenges of life in a dignified

manner. She is an outspoken who has expressed herself freely and

asserted her will and wish. She is a woman with unshakeable

character who did not get seduced by the outward glamour and

material objects at Ravana’s palace. She faces boldly her suspicious

husband and tries to appease him. She reconciles with her marriage

and lives with Rama. Later, she accepts her separation from her

husband as the true reality of her life. She raises well-balanced

children as a single mother. She understands her husband’s inability

as king and goes through the anguish passively. Hence she is seen as

women who dealt with all weakness. She and her qualities need to

live. Hence, Indian society needs this “Sita”.

To sum up, the position of the Indian woman in general, and

Indian woman as wife in particular, has been paradoxical. Inspite of

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being a prominent figure in the family, she has lived the life of

subjugation, suffering and suppression. However, now she has started

becoming conscious of her rights and responsibilities, distress and

destination. Accordingly she has waged her war, too. Of course, this

war is not going to be easy and short-lived, as it is against human

elements like ego, greed, ambition, selfishness, sadism, etc. The

present period that she is passing through is a transitional one. And

she has miles to go before the goal is reached. However, while

marching on the chosen path, it should also not be forgotten that

man-woman relationship can’t be restored to the axis of equality and

liberty through constitution and legislation alone, but through mutual

understanding, love, respect, and dilution of the egos. Both the

writers suggest an honest appraisal of one’s own role, strengths and

weaknesses and admiration for the positive qualities of the spouse,

can save relationships from disintegration and pave way for serenity of

mind and harmonious interaction. The problem is not who would

dominate but who would rise to love and understand the other. Love

covers, erases and forgives every weakness.

Hence the responsibility lies in the hands of Indian woman as

wife who has to balance herself smartly between two important things

in her life i.e. between her self-identity and family responsibilities. She

has to take care that her urge for self-identity is not eroded while

fulfilling her family responsibilities. Thus, Indira Gandhi, perhaps the

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most successful woman in public life makes a very poignant

statement:

Woman must be a bridge and synthesizer. She shouldn’t

allow herself to be swept off her feet by superficial trends

nor yet be chained to the familiar. She must ensure the

continuity which strengthens roots and simultaneously

engineer change and growth to keep society dynamic,

abreast of knowledge, sensitive to fast moving events. The

solution lies neither in fighting for equal position nor

denying it, neither in retreat into the home nor escape

from it.8

Indian women can make positive changes to happen in their

lives because they have unshakeable faith in their vision and

unrelenting confidence in their potential. They have courage and

conviction to act on their ideas. They have the potential and

unrecognized powers in them which on exploration will explode the

every element of life into success.

247

REFERENCES:

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