attraction c mdavidshen317.s3.amazonaws.com/acm/acm-pt/new/bonus...that you don't. but if you...
TRANSCRIPT
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-!
ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY
PRIVATE
THOUGHTS!
!!!!
“THE HUMILIATION OF
BEING OVERLOOKED BY
MEN”
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!+!
The Bad Girl Notice:
Attraction Control Monthly is copyright 2012 – 2016 with all
rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create
derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to
contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative
works of this book. Here is the statement on my website
reprinted for your reference:
"©2011, All Rights Reserved. If you try to copy, steal, or
distribute all or any part of my book or this web page without
permission, I will have my attorney contact you and make you
wish that you'd never had such a stupid idea in your life. Count
on it. By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You
understand that the information contained on this page and in
this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal
entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own
behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or
personal advice."
And I expect you to abide by these rules. I regularly and actively
search the Internet for people who violate my copyrights. Now
that we're finished with the bad girl notice, let's learn about how
to build and maintain attraction with a man...
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!>!
Hey, it’s Renee here.
I want to talk to you about the
humiliation of being overlooked by men.
I do block this out because it's such a
painful part of my history with men. But
every now and then the memory comes back
and bites me on the ass.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!?!
About 8 or 9 years ago, I was in what
you'd affectionately call "a Bad Place" in my
dating life.
Ugly. Second rate. Stick out like a sore
thumb. These are all the things I felt about
myself.
And worse of all, I really felt alone in
being in that bad place.
One memory really stands out.
It was a night I went out with a couple of
close girlfriends of mine, we had both gotten
dressed up. We went out to a house party of
my friend which happened to be full of males.
There were a few girls, but more males.
I'd say the split was about 70/30.
Anyway, all my friends got male
attention and the guys all looked past me like
I didn't exist.
I don't know if you know that feeling,
maybe you do. Maybe you don't, I guess I hope
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!@!
that you don't. But if you do, I really know how
you feel.
You know those moments where you're
walking down the street, and a stranger
comes walking towards you and you start to
decide in your mind whether you should smile
and be friendly or just walk straight past
them, practically ignoring them?
And you decide to be open and smile,
only to find that they walked straight past you
like you didn't even exist on the street when it
was OBVIOUS that you were walking past
them and smiling?
It's not a nice feeling. You know they're a
stranger and all, but still, it's not a nice
feeling. That's how I felt, just times it by
1,000!
I remember, that night, being so hurt
and ashamed that all my other girlfriends
were being 'hit on' but I wasn't....SO humiliated
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!/!
in fact, that I actually asked my close
girlfriend this embarrassing question:
"Why do you think men overlook me but
will hit on you and Sam?"
And she looked at me, half grinning, half
deeply in thought.
She thought about it and said....
"I don't know. But if I had to think about
it, I'd say it's because you're not the typical
blond kind of girl that men hit on."
I remember looking away, thinking, ok.
So what exactly can I so about that. I'm not
the typical blonde, so does this mean I'm
doomed to a life of always feeling like I'm the
'less attractive' one?
That sinking feeling you get in the pit of
your stomach sometimes; that's what I felt.
I just nodded and took it like a
professional boxer takes a punch to his face in
the ring. I took it, thinking that my only
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!A!
option was to receive that belief about myself
openly and ACCEPT that as my so called fate.
But, it killed me inside.
I remember another time that hurt me
even more.
I was out with a girl from university.
She was tall. About 5 foot 8. Her body
was about as "perfect" as they come. She had
double D breasts and a great figure.
I liked her a lot, we had fun together.
Again, I always convinced myself I was
her sidekick. The "cute" girl who goes along
with the "hot" girl.
We were out dancing. At the time I
thought she was a good friend (again, silly me.
But that's another story).
So we were out dancing and there was an
attractive black man whom we both noticed
and thought was good looking.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!B!
Of course, he noticed us looking and took
up the opportunity.
He followed up to the upstairs part of the
club and when we were sort of cornered,
approached my friend. I think he smiled at
her and had a moment of "oh crap, forgot to
say hi to the friend.." so he gave me a quick
handshake just to make things less awkward.
He approached my friend and tried to
pick her up. She actually had a boyfriend at
the time and so she then jokingly told him
that she was already taken and he shook his
head in disbelief and said: "Oh, you're one of
THOSE women."
My friend laughed and said "oh but my
friend here is available", and made a swiping
hand gesture towards me and then looked
away from me, sipping her drink and eyeing
the dance floor."
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!C!
The guy looked at her and gave a
0.00002 second sideways glance towards me
and made a nervous laugh and then left.
Nice.
Totally awesome.
The last painfully humiliating memory I
have of my dating days was again with my uni
friend. This time, we were out with another
girl from university. They were both tall (5
foot 8) and big busted.
If you know me at all, you know I'm only
of slight build and am petite, and let's just say
my breast size isn't "large". So it was VERY
easy for me to compare myself to these girls
and feel totally, shatteringly UNLIKEABLE by
men!
Now, I never feel this inadequate, but I'm
getting to that.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-,!
We went out to the beach one day, as a
group of 3 happy girls do on a summer day
together as a break from university.
I had been approached a few days before
by the owner of a juice bar, and he had asked
to drive all the way out to come and see me.
So I said I didn't have time but he could
come and see me and my friends at the beach,
to which he agreed.
So he came, and he was very respectful
and genuine about spending time with me (He
had driven a whole hour).
But I'll never forget, I was sitting on the
beach while my two girlfriends went for a dip
in the water, and 5 minutes after he arrived,
they walked towards us, water dripping off
their bodies and in their bikinis and his mouth
dropped open.
“Are they your FRIENDS???!!"
I said "yep".
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!--!
He said "wow. They're just a little bit
good looking."
Then I thought: Great. Thanks. That's a
nice thing to say when you're out here to see
me.
Anyway, we went out to a restaurant
after that, and he was in conversation with
the other two girls and me, but they seemed to
get along so well. He didn't make a go for my
friends but...at the time I was torturing myself
with feeling of inadequacy.
Writing about this is hard enough. Re-
living the memories make me wonder how I
managed to cope.
And that's why I want to write to you.
Because, this whole dating and relationship
thing was never smooth for me. In fact, it was
very painful.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-+!
Until I became High Value and decided
to change it around and I met the man of my
dreams.
And on the rare occasion that I look back
at who I was back then, I get a shock of "oh my
gosh was I like that!"
And I feel such a huge relief that I now
couldn't even TRY to feel that bad about
myself.
Now, I feel such a strong sense of
ownership of myself, after all the pain I went
through and the solid decisions
I made to change my life, that I feel
incredibly blessed.
And I would want no less for you.
So today I just wanted to share with you
how it was even possible to change to a High
Value mindset and not feel threatened by
other women.
But before I do, I must warm you:
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!->!
Rock-solid self esteem and confidence
take a hell of a lot of emotional labor. It's
constantly getting out of your own butt, being
totally honest with yourself, and choosing a
better life instead of holding on to your low
self esteem.
Because I'm sure you'd agree with me,
sometimes, it's much easier to just enjoy
having low self esteem than it is to become a
woman who is High Value and who sees
herself that way.
Having the boring old story of "I have low
self esteem" is far too comfortable and
tempting.
But it's also downright devastating for
you, your health, and for the happiness of
those people around you that you love.
So may I ask that you CONSIDER
choosing to be High Value, and sticking to that
as a new WAY OF LIFE?
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-?!
If you agree, and are willing, I want to
share with you how I went from being THAT
girl (above) to feeling (almost) invincible
when it comes to men, my love life, and my
relationship.
But what I wanted to tell you was this:
Those memories are painful. But what I
notice now is, there is no way I would ever feel
"less than" like I did back then. NO WAY.
I still have moments of insecurity, for
sure.
But I would never feel that constantly
overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy like I
used to.
Don't get me wrong, I STILL get
overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy' the
difference is: it doesn't last.
It lasts probably a FRACTION of the time
it used to.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-@!
So here's how you can start to get a rock
solid sense of self ownership.
Wouldn't it be nice to walk in to a room
and KNOW that you are JUST as worthy or
MORE worthy than everyone else?
It's not so you can be arrogant, it's so you
can have an unbreakable self esteem and
confidence that you are worth the best.
The only way to do it is this:
And I'm sorry, it's not a fancy answer,
it's a boring and uninteresting answer.
The only way to do it is to find something
OUTSIDE of yourself.
Why? Because human beings will do far
more for the ones they love than they will
ever do for themselves.
See, feeling inadequate is like habitually
eating potato chips every day. It's addictive! It
feels good to feel inadequate because then you
never have to face your fears because you
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-/!
always have the tired old excuse of feeling
inadequate.
Long ago, when David and I first started
dating and I was a flaming selfish bitch, he
turned to me and said… "Do you love me
enough to love Yourself?"
And I was speechless. I wanted to yell
out and say “What the hell do you mean? I feel
INADEQUATE!"
But he wouldn't stand for it. He let me
learn on my own without feeding my selfish,
self involved mindset.
And shortly after, I realized that yes, I
really did love him enough to love myself.
In fact, it wasn't only him. It was my
Mom, too. It was my father. I knew my mother
and father had suffered long enough, seeing
me grow up having next to zero self esteem at
times.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-A!
These three people DESERVE to receive
the energy of me loving myself and bringing to
them my passion, my compassion, my love
and my self respect.
Now, you may not have a boyfriend right
now, but that does not stop you.
I guarantee that there is SOMEONE in
your life whom you would get your head out of
your own butt for.
Maybe your mother, your father, your
daughter, your brother, or your
grandmother....You FUTURE daughter, even.
Find who that person is.
And ask yourself:
"Do I want to see this person suffer
through seeing me diminish myself?"
And you may not think this is relevant to
your dating life, but it is the most relevant
thing ever.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-B!
Because, once you start getting out of
yourself, out of your own butt, you are
stepping out of your old shoes and the
QUALITY of Men you attract is totally
different, and men see that you have
impeccable self respect and that you own
yourself and the ground you walk upon.
AND! You get REALLY good at telling
the difference between a good man and a man
that's bad for you.
You are not a pushover, and you KNOW
your worth, because you know that life is not
all about yourself.
Life is the most miserable when we live it
only for ourselves.
Women are the MOST unattractive when
they live life for themselves, because that's
not what we're made for! We are made for far
more than that.
So, go and find that person today.
!"#$%&'()*!+,-+!.!+,-/!0!1**&23*'#4!"#4*!6#4*)5%7!155!8'()*9!8:9:&;:<!
=2(:!-C!
And your energy will change.
Men will feel you as High Value when
they see you, look at you, listen to you talk,
and they will feel a PASSIONATE woman.
You will not longer have to feel like you
have to take CRUMBS or what is leftover of
the single male population.
Start today! Or don't.
Take care!
Renee.
-XxX-