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Banish

Boss-Buddy Syndrome

from the Workplace

Special Report From: EasySmallBusinessHR.com

Do you and a subordinate have a friendship?

Have you put off letting an employee go because you know he or

she is newly divorced and raising three kids as a single parent—

and you don’t want to be labeled the heartless corporate meanie?

Do you dislike conflict so much you accommodate just about

anything employees ask for so they will like you?

Learning how to manage employees is challenging, especially if

you find it tricky to navigate the employer employee relationship.

Whether you feel that being a pal to the staff is just part of your

personality or you make friends in a concerted effort to influence

people, the fact is that an employee relationship with management

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that crosses into friendship territory can actually undermine the

business.

Why can’t a boss be a buddy?

1. The goal of the employer employee relationship is to accomplish

work goals. If the employee is unable to fulfill his or her

responsibilities, it’s in the company’s best interest for that

relationship to end. When it comes to a real friend relationship, one

person isn’t able to “fire” the other for doing something wrong.

2. The boss, by definition, must have authority in the relationship.

Now that doesn’t necessarily mean the supervisor is lording over

his or her subordinates’ each and every move. It does, however,

mean that a manager must, from time to time, use that authority to

make decisions the employee may not like.

True friendships aren’t built to handle unequal relationships well; a

good supervisor and employee relationship, though, must

accommodate exactly that.

3. The role of a leader in the workplace is to assess and evaluate

what subordinates are doing and how they’re doing it. In contrast,

a real friendship typically doesn’t have one person whose job it is

to check up on the other.

4. Not every employer/employee relationship is created equally.

You might find it easy to create a friend-type of relationship with

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one staff member, but what about the rest of the team? Consider

how morale and productivity might be affected when others

perceive that someone is perhaps favored because of a close

supervisor and employee relationship.

What does the ideal employer/employee relationship look like?

You can still play the role of a leader — and an effective one —

without coming across like a soul-less corporate robot.

Imagine it this way: Did you ever have a favorite teacher? A

mentor? A coach? You knew that person cared for you. You knew

he or she wanted you to do your best. That person provided tips,

guidance, and expertise.

But that teacher wasn’t your best pal. And that coach’s purpose

wasn’t to spare your feelings and make you feel all warm and

fuzzy. The relationship was all about the end goal, whether it was

ensuring you were prepared for college or winning the league

championship.

An effective employee and manager relationship has the same

qualities. It offers genuine caring combined with a genuine interest

in accomplishing a goal that’s larger than either individual. If you

want to know how to lead, then learn how to blend concern and

focus.

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Building the right supervisor and employee relationship can be

a challenge.

No question about it. But the truth is that an effective relationship

should be defined. The employer/employee relationship is caring

without being chummy and cordial without being cold. As a leader,

it’s your role to build a relationship defined by the common goals

shared by you and the employee, not defined by the relationship

itself.

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