becca mcmullan - inquiry project

8/2/2019 Becca McMullan - Inquiry Project

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Becca McMullan

Malcolm Campbell

English 1102

10 April 2012

Call Me, Beep Me, If You Want to Reach Me

Generally speaking, electronic communication is what teenagers are familiar with and use

at their own convenience. Some people believe it has improved society’s way of interacting with

others, while others believe it is detrimental when it compares to real-life social interaction. How

does electronic communication affect the well-being of teenagers’ parent-child relationships, ro-

mantic relationships and peer relationships?

Parent-Child Relationships

Parents use texting or text messaging to discuss family events. Family members can stay in

touch with each other through electronic communication (Coyne et al. 160-161). Parents use this

form of communication to discuss mealtimes and other family events (Subrahmanyam and Green-

field 135-136). My parents and I use text messaging to plan when we are going to eat dinner or dis-

cuss what we are going to have for dinner. This is convenient for both parties in such a case, for

example I may have already had something to eat, my mom would not have to worry about waiting

until I got home to tell her.

Some parents are concerned with their teens using electronic communication. One of the

main reasons is that parents believe their teens that stay in touch too often with friends and lack

family communication. A working spouse may walk in the door and the children might say “hey”,

if anything at all and continue using their electronic gadgets (Subrahmanyam and Greenfield 135).



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This makes it more difficult for parents and children to have face-to-face conversations with the

distractions of electronic communication. This could be taking away from family bonding time.

Social networking websites allow for teens to express themselves. Jessica Hunter used

Myspace as a way to express herself as her alter ego goth model, “Autumn Edows.” Her parents

were unaware of her other identity. Her father claimed he never saw her and she would not eat din-

ner with them. If her parents were to walk into her room, she would simply change the screen. She

felt insecure about herself when she was younger, so she used Myspace as a way for her to build up

her confidence. Even though her parents were against it at first, eventually they saw how “Autumn

Edows” brought out the best in Jessica and their relationship with her with their acceptance (Ly-

man).

Parents may be unaware of what their children are doing offline (Subrahmanyham and

Geenfield 124). Evan Skinner, a mother of four teenagers, keeps the family computer in the kitchen

to keep an eye on them. She admits her kids are “edgy” and they will change the screen whenever

they are on Facebook (Lyman). Her son, Cam, went to a rock concert, drinking and partying with

friends and other people from his school. The video was posted online and his mother found out

through an email from another parent. Once Skinner took the issue into her own hands by emailing

all the parents, it had a negative toll on her relationship with her son and the rest of the family.

Cam would avoid talking about his day at school or sharing any other information with his parents

(Lyman).

My parents and I have had a few text fights. Whenever we were angry or would lash out

into an argument, it would in some cases continue through several text messages. Now that was an

awkward moment when I would walk into the house after sending those text messages. Although,

we have been able to keep in touch more through texting. It would come in handy whenever I had



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to let my parents know where I was, if for example I was staying after school or going out some-

where.

Romantic Relationships

Personally, I found it easier to talk to other guys through text messages. I could have time

to think of what to say through a text message rather than not say a word in person. Teens find in-

stant messaging easier to use when taking to someone of the opposite sex (Subrahmanyham and

Greenfield 125). Teens feel more confident when using this virtual form of communication as a

way for hooking up compared to real-life conversations (129). This leaves out the physical chal-

lenges of meeting someone new and focuses more on playful banter with text messages.

Couples can use texting as a way of communicating more throughout the day when they

are apart (Coyne et al. 152). Couples that go to separate colleges for instance, can text each other to

keep in touch rather than never hear from them at all. My boyfriend and I text each other when we

are away from each other. This allows us to remain in contact in a much faster, simpler way rather

than just waiting to hopefully bump into each other throughout the day.

Although there can be misunderstandings in text messages (Coyne et al. 152). I have had

instances when I may be upset about something and try to hide it from my boyfriend by texting a

short “it’s alright” or “I’m fine” with a few smiley faces here and there. Without me expressing

myself physically as I normally would in person, he may not notice something is wrong.

Couples that just started dating may overkill how much time they spend using media rather

than talking things out person (Coyne et al. 152). Individuals in a relationship would “. . .express

affection towards their partner. . .” and confront them more using the media (160). For instance, an

individual that previously got into an argument with their partner may text him or her to release

their emotions about the previous argument (160).



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Social networking websites like Facebook can enhance jealousy in couples. For instance, a

girlfriend may see a picture of her boyfriend with another girl that posts heart symbols and “I love

you” on the picture. The girlfriend may take that as the friend flirting with her boyfriend and be-

come envious of their friendship publicly displayed online. Meltzer adds that there can be miscom-

munication online, but exchanging short responses on a Facebook chat in place of a quality conver-

sation in person can make the relationship more distant.

Break ups are terrible, but it only gets worse once your relationship status changes from “in

a relationship” to “single” like mine did on Facebook. Once that happened, within several hours, I

got texts and Facebook messages from people asking me what happened. As if it was not enough

hearing people talk about it, I would see Facebook status’ he made that were directed towards me

and people would “like” or comment on them. It was atrocious and not an event I want to experi-

ence again.

Peer Relationships

Peer relationships online are similar to clichés in school when it comes to “fitting in.” Tom

Meltzer discusses how Facebook has affected him. This social networking site is not mandatory to

join, nonetheless he felt compelled to do so, as he thought of it as “social suicide” if he opted not to

(Meltzer). Several years ago he claims “. . .on probably the loneliest week of my life, my newly

created Facebook page looked me square in the eye and announced ‘You have 0 friends’”

(Meltzer). He views Facebook as an enhancement of old clichés. I understand where he is coming

from. I see the same popular girls I would see in school posting thousands of pictures of them-

selves and updating their status’ on Facebook. Not only would I see them in school, but I would

see them on Facebook too, like there was no way to avoid them.



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Mannerisms exchanged in person seem to diminish over time online. Laura Shumaker re-

members her son writing happy birthday on his friend’s Facebook wall, rather than wishing his

friend a happy birthday in person (Stout). I remember when my friends would call me or come to

my house just to wish me a happy birthday. Now, Facebook reminds them when it is. Sometimes

all I get is an abbreviated form like “happy bday” or “hbd.” Not only are people dependent on

Facebook to remind them about such important events like birthdays, even their short, abbreviated

responses seem rude and impersonal.

There have been instances where I have gotten into fights through text messages. I have

lost close friends over text messaging each other. Whenever something would go wrong, I would

send long text messages, possibly five or more and vice versa. There were messages full of words

with complete anger and frustration, words that hurt enough to make me feel isolated and miser-

able. I would cringe when my phone would vibrate.

Online communication can allow for shy kids to come out of their shell and socially inter-

act with others. Hilary Stout adds that Robert Wilson claims his son, Andy, was teased jokingly by

his friends on Facebook. Wilson suggested his other son, Evan, who is more introverted, create a

Facebook account. He believes his son is now developing social skills he did not have. He noted

Evan was talking to a girl from his former school (Stout).

I have been able to keep in touch with my friends through text messaging and Facebook.

An old friend of mine I met several years ago sent me an email several months ago and added me

on Facebook. We talk to each other every now and then. She mentioned that I could come visit her

whenever I would visit Myrtle Beach. Another friend of mine that lives in Pennsylvania and I keep

in touch through text messaging. She may come visit me this summer.



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Tom Meltzer does admit there are some advantages to social networking sites like Face-

book. New topics are spread fast and efficiently, like his example of Michael Jackson’s death.

Facebook also makes it easier to remember friend’s birthdays (Meltzer). Skype allows people to

keep in touch with each other through a video chat where each person can be seen while having a

conversation at the same time. Electronic communication provides people over long distances the

ability to stay in contact with each other, stay up to date with friends and family, and be aware of

news topics.

Conclusion

This topic allows for me to explore how electronic communication has affected teenagers

in my generation. I remember hanging out with my friends in my neighborhood every day after

school. Now, all we do is text or Facebook each other. This is convenient, but is it always neces-

sary or beneficial? It is easy and fast whenever I am in a rush. However, the more I think about it,

sometimes I do not feel as close as I normally did with people I did interact with in person. Text

messages are easily misread and the amount of privacy I used to have seems to have blown straight

out the window. Facebook relationships and interests are displayed and people use that as a way to

know more about you as a person. What ever happened to simply asking someone, “What are your

hobbies?” Facebook has that under control; there is no need for you to ask that in person. What

about flirting with someone? There is no need for that in person, there is always texting and Face-

book chat, so even when that girl says “no” to you asking her to prom, there is no need for that

kind of public let down at school. What about friends that moved and live far away? Facebook and

text messaging has allowed for me to keep in touch with them rather than part our separate ways.

The more I thought about how electronic communication affected teen relationships; the

more I realized the importance of face-to-face social interaction. Without verbal and social cues,



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there will more likely be misunderstandings (Coyne et al. 152). As I look back now, I wish I would

have talked things out with my friend. I feel like there is more to be said from both parties and we

might have misread each other when we were texting each other. There were never any face-to-

face conversations whenever we got angry, which might have been an a more effective way to

communicate, that way we could read body language to determine what to say next without being

too offensive.

Eventually, my former boyfriend and I talked things out face-to-face, which made the con-

versation much easier. I could tell he felt uncomfortable by the way he would slouch or look in a

direction opposite from me. Face-to-face social interaction helped us communicate without simply

avoiding a question like you could through a text or Facebook message. Electronic communication

does have its advantages, but sometimes it can be oppressive.

These forms of electronic communication have allowed me to stay in contact and remain

close to friends and family. On the other hand, it has brought me apart from some of them. Rela-

tionships teenagers have with their parents, romantic partners and peers all intertwine into this

realm of electronic communication that has its advantages and drawbacks on how individuals in-

teract with others.



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Works Cited

Coyne, Sarah, et al. "I Luv U :)!: A Descriptive Study of the Media of Individuals in Romantic Re-

lationships." Family Relations 60.2 (2011): 150-162. Education Full Text (H.W.

Wilson). Web. 17 Feb. 2012.

Lyman, Will, narr. “Growing Up Online.” 28 Jan 2008. Documentary. Frontline. PBS. WGBH,

Boston. Accessed on 26 Mar. 2012.

Meltzer, Tom. "Social networking: Failure to connect." Guardian. guardian.do.uk. (2010): n. pag.

Web. 17 Feb.2012.

Stout, Hilary. “Antisocial Networking?” New York Times. Arthur Sulzberger. 30 Apr. 2010. Web.

12 Feb. 2012.



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Subrahmanyam, Kaveri, and Patricia Greenfield. "Online Communication And Adolescent Rela-

tionships." Future Of Children 18.1 (2008): 119-146. Education Research Complete. Web.

17 Feb. 2012.

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