Behaving so children

behave

www.geniekids.com

Leader - follower

• One leader• Rest are followers• Leader does• Followers have to try and follow the leader as accurately as possible• Leaders responsibility that followers are able to follow

www.geniekids.com

What do I do?

NO matter what

happens be

relaxed.

www.geniekids.com

Why am I ….RELAX

Everything is Fine/perfect/ok I am prepared We are capable (kids and u)

www.geniekids.com

What is Discipline?

Adult

Child

Child

www.geniekids.com

You see a Boy hitting a dog

The dog was trying to bite the boy's little sister

Intention Window

Behaviour Window

www.geniekids.com

Understanding Window

Every Behaviour has a

positive Intention

www.geniekids.com

Similarities Connection Understanding Accepting Solution Questioning

Intention Window

Behaviour Window

Dissimilarity Disconnection Reactive Blaming Problem Lecturing,

Preaching

www.geniekids.com

Acceptance Triangle

www.geniekids.com

Window?

1. Child running down supermarket

2. Child cheating in a exam

3. Child teasing others

4. Child throwing down the balcony

5. Child eating another child's tiffin

6. Child telling lies

7. Child not keeping things in place

www.geniekids.com

Nature

“Stay”

Go with their

natural flow

www.geniekids.com

Empower

Don’t tell them

‘how’, tell them WHAT

www.geniekids.com

PREPARE

Children live up to expectati

ons

www.geniekids.com

Children who like themselves like to behave

themselves

State of mind

www.geniekids.com

Where is the star in my apple?

www.geniekids.com

FLEXIBILITY

If I’m always doing the same thing; I’m likely to get

the same resultIf I want something different I must do

something different, and keep varying my behaviour

until I get the result that you want

www.geniekids.com

Understanding

The child is using the best choice available to

her.

Understand her to be understood

www.geniekids.com

How will you respond

1. Rahul has put all the paint on the floor2. Neha keeps pinching others3. Children from your group are screaming

outside another class.4. Prashant has scribbled all over his desk 5. Tarini is not very careful about her things and

today her water bottle is lying on the floor.6. Two strong boys are physically bullying a

relatively smaller boy.

www.geniekids.com

How you want others to respond

You often forget to close the tap.Today you forgot to close the tap.

What would you like others to do or say?

www.geniekids.com

Cooperation Strategies

www.geniekids.com

1 Focus on the problem(not the problem creator)

Reactive strategy

Describe The Problem• “Paint is on the floor”• Your water bootle is feeling left out”

Give Information• “There is another class working here; The

noise is disturbing them” Say it with a word or Non-Verbal

• Shhhhh• “Bottle” or “paper”

www.geniekids.com

2 Focus on the solution – (not the problem)

Pro-active strategy Offer Choices

• “We can either wait here quietly or go back to our class and play”

• You want to write on paper or on the board

Put it in Writing

We ensure NOBODY is physically or emotionally hurt

We take CARE of each other.

www.geniekids.com

3 Choices

www.geniekids.com

was Punishment effective?

Think of an incident when you have used punishment and why you feel

it was justified?

Did the punishment serve the purpose? How?

www.geniekids.com

Is Punishment effective?

Punishment can control behaviour, but by itself it will not teach desirable behaviour or even reduce the desire to misbehave

Punishment shifts the focus from the misbehaviour to the punishment itself. Child learns how to avoid punishment next time, or feel bad about himself or hate the punisher. He does not learn how to behave next time.

www.geniekids.com

Punishment - Last resort

Belief Too few options Come too soon

NO RESORT Then what?

Alternatives to

Punishment

As long as you believe that the problem is out there it will

never get solved

www.geniekids.com

Private Victories Precede public victoriesHumko man ki shakti dena man vijay karen

dusro ki jai se pehla khod ko jai kare

If you are MADDoes that give you a right to be rude

or hurtful to others?

Find Outlets:Stress / Anger / Frustration

DEAL WITH IT

www.geniekids.com

Misbehaviour is just a symptom

Character State (of mind )Deficiency Deficiency

Behaviour depends on STATE of MIND Sometimes

YOUR state

“I want to be a

trouble today”Co-Creator Co-Solver Too

of Problems

www.geniekids.com

Consequences

Natural ConsequencesMum is the word

www.geniekids.com

Consequences

Logical Consequences•Upstate & Prepare•Related•Follow through (consistency)“Do not use logical Consequences as threats”

Shift from TEACH a lesson to LEARN a lesson

www.geniekids.com

Don’t put blocks, Show way

1. Express your Feelingsfollowed by …..

2. State ExpectationsClearly

3. Give Alternatives• Stop Start• Seek Help

Also, Give a chance to amend

If all your problems look like nails to

you, chances

are that all you will use is a

hammer

www.geniekids.com

Problem Solving –for the problem not getting solved !!!

Let us do it together (create the environment with the three next steps).

STEP 1 - Acknowledge child’s feelings and needs (empathy).

STEP 2 - Express your feelings (no lecture). STEP 3 - Work together to find alternatives.

DO NOT evaluate (Writing makes it ten times more effective).

www.geniekids.com

MORE……………

STEP 4 - Together decide which idea is acceptable to both. If no idea come then

• The process of three steps solve the problem.• Or will come back later• Or try any one idea - even if not acceptable by

both.

ONLY if you have decided on a specific ACTION PLAN then ……….

STEP 5 - Final action plan. Be specific (time, follow up etc)

www.geniekids.com

When agreements are broken

LEVEL 1 – Invisible action (eg: call the person next to the student)

LEVEL 2 – Handle the problem (eg: admonish the object of

distraction)

LEVEL 3 - Remind student responsibility (keep it simple,

friendly and eye contact (eg: You are responsible, we can finish

faster if you keep your hands to your work)

LEVEL 4 – Safety Jeopardized - keep it private - but be firm

www.geniekids.com

When a problem occurs

Get centered. Take a breath. Anticipate a

positive outcome

No confrontation – minimum fanfare - no win

- no nailing – get energy off distraction –

focus back on learning

State the facts – leave the judgements

Check the intentions – deal with them fast

Don’t gun for a 100% perfect classroom.

Gun for a student managed classroom

www.geniekids.com

Children will forget what you said;

Children will forget what you did;

But they will not forget how you made them feel.