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Page 1: Being Aware of Being Aware
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‘Itisonlywhenweceaseseekinghappinessinobjectiveexperience,andallowthemindtosinkdeeperanddeeperintotheheartofawarenessfromwhichithasarisen,thatwebegintotastethelastingpeaceandfulfilmentforwhichwehavelongedallourlife.’

–RUPERTSPIRA

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FromanearlyageRupertSpirawasdeeplyinterestedinthenatureofreality.Atthe age of seventeen he learnt tomeditate, and began a twenty-year period ofstudyandpracticeintheclassicalAdvaitaVedantatraditionundertheguidanceof Dr. Francis Roles and Shantananda Saraswati, the Shankaracharya of thenorthofIndia.

During this time he immersed himself in the teachings of P. D. Ouspensky,Krishnamurti,Rumi,RamanaMaharshi,Nisargadatta andRobertAdams, untilhemet his teacher, Francis Lucille, in 1997. Francis introducedRupert to theDirect Path teachings of Atmananda Krishna Menon, the Tantric tradition ofKashmir Shaivism (which he had received from his teacher, JeanKlein), and,moreimportantly,directlyindicatedtohimthetruenatureofexperience.RupertlivesintheUKandholdsregularmeetingsandretreatsinEuropeandtheUSA.

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SAHAJAPUBLICATIONS

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DistributedinCanadabyRaincoastBooks

Copyright©RupertSpira2017

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Nopartofthisbookshallbereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronicormechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,orbyanyinformationretrievalsystemwithoutwritten

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DesignedbyRobBowden

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ISBN978–1–62625–998–0

LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationDataonfilewithpublisher

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IsearchedformyselfandfoundonlyGodIsearchedforGodandfoundonlymyself

SUFISAYING

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CONTENTS

AcknowledgementsNotetotheReader

INTRODUCTIONTheIntuitionofHappiness

CHAPTER1Knowing,BeingAwareorAwarenessItself

CHAPTER2TheNatureofAwareness

CHAPTER3TheOverlookingofOurEssentialNature

CHAPTER4TheDisentanglingofAwareness

CHAPTER5TheEffortlessPath

CHAPTER6TheInward-FacingPath

CHAPTER7TrailingCloudsofGlory

CHAPTER8TheOceanofAwareness

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Iwouldliketothankallthosewhohavetranscribedthemeditationsinthisbook,in particular Ed Kelly, Will Wright, Terri Bennett, Michele Pike, CatherineSanchezandGeorgeMercadante.IwouldalsoliketothankEllenEmmet,LindaArzouni,MarianneSlade,JacquelineBoyleandRobBowdenfor thecarewithwhichtheyhavecontributedinvariouswaystothemakingofthisbook.

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NOTETOTHEREADER

Thecontemplations in thisbookare takenfromguidedmeditations that Ihavegiven during meetings and retreats over the past several years. They wereoriginally delivered spontaneously but have been edited for this collection toavoidrepetition,andtoadaptthemfromthespokentothewrittenword.

Meditation takes place in the space between words. Therefore, thesecontemplationswereoriginallyspokenwithlongsilencesbetweenalmosteverysentence, allowing listeners time to explore the statements in their ownexperience. The meditations in this book have been laid out with numerousbreaksbetweensentencesandsectionsinordertoinviteandfacilitateasimilarlycontemplativeapproach.

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E

INTRODUCTION

THEINTUITIONOFHAPPINESS

verybody loves happiness above all else. Even if we deny ourselveshappinessforthesakeofanotherpersonoranimpersonalcause,wedosoultimatelybecauseitmakesushappy.

In order to fulfil the desire for happiness, most people engage in a relentlesssearch in the realm of objects, substances, activities, states of mind andrelationships. This search also takes the form of resistance to whomever orwhateverisperceivedtojeopardizeourhappiness.Thus,seekingandresistanceare the two main impulses that govern the thoughts and feelings, and thesubsequentactivitiesandrelationships,ofmostpeople.

Theactivitiesofseekingandresistingareaninevitableexpressionofthesenseoflackorsufferingthatunderliesthem.However,mostofusneverquestiontheoriginofoursuffering,sobusyareweescapingthediscomfortofitthroughtheacquisitionofobjects,substances,activities,statesofmindandrelationships.Ifwe do question it, we usually attribute it to the absence of the object orexperience thatwe seek or the presence of the situationwe are attempting toavoidand,asaresult,neverfullytraceitbacktoitsoriginalcause.

Ourbeliefthathappinessisdependentonobjectiveexperienceisnotaltogetherwithout foundation, and hence its almost universal allure, for every time adesired object is acquired or an unpleasant situation successfully avoided,happinessisindeedbrieflyexperienced.

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However,althoughtheacquisitionoravoidanceoftheobjectorsituationputsatemporaryend to thesuffering thatunderlies it and,asa result,bringsaboutabriefmomentofhappiness,itdoesnotuprootitorbringittoapermanentend.Itsimplymasksit.

No sooner does the object, substance, activity, state of mind or relationshipdiminish or disappear, or the situation we sought to avoid reappear, than thehappinessvanishesandtheunderlyingsufferingreturns.

As a result,most people set out again in pursuit or rejection of some formofobjective experience in the hopes of repeating the experience of happiness. Inthiswaywebecomeaddictedtotheendlesscycleoflack,seekingandtemporaryfulfilment that characterises most people’s lives, and to which Henry DavidThoreaureferredwhenhesaidthatmostpeople‘leadlivesofquietdesperation’.

Manypeoplespendtheir livesmanagingthisdespairmoreorlesssuccessfully,medicating it with substances, numbing it through the acquisition of objects,avoiding it through exotic or meditative states of mind, or simply distractingthemselvesfromitwithactivitiesandrelationships.

However, at some point, either spontaneously or, inmost cases, as a result ofreading a book or having a conversationwith a friend, some people begin toquestionwhetherornotobjectiveexperiencecaneverreallybethesourceofthelasting peace and happiness for which they long. Others reach a point ofdesperationorhopelessnessbeforethisintuitiondawns.

Mostpeoplewhoare reading thesewords aredoing sopreciselybecause theyhaveunderstood,oratleastintuited,thattheirdesireforpeaceandhappinesscanneverbe found inobjectiveexperience. Inotherwords, ifyouare reading thisbookit ismost likelybecauseobjectiveexperiencehasfailed toprovidepeaceandfulfilmentsufficientlyoftenthattheimpulsetoinvestyouridentity,securityandhappinessinitisbeginningtowane.

This understanding or intuition is one of the most profound and disturbingrecognitions that onemayhave, and it initiates a crisiswhose exploration andresolutionarethesubjectmatterofthisbook.

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Oncethisrecognitionhastakenplaceitisneverpossibletoinvestourdesireforlasting peace and happiness in objective experience with quite the sameconvictionagain.Althoughwemayforgetorignoreitand,asaresult,repeatedlyreturntoobjectiveexperienceseekingfulfilment,ourunderstandingwillimpressitself upon us with greater frequency and power, asserting its undeniable andunavoidable truthwithever-increasingclarity,demanding tobeheard.Weturnawayfromthisintuitionatourperil.

When objective experience – including any conventional religious or spiritualpractices that involve directing attention towards some more or less subtleobject, such as an external god, a teacher, a mantra or the breath – has beenexhaustedasapossiblemeansbywhichpeaceandhappinessmaybeobtained,onlyonepossibilityremains:toturnthemindarounduponitselfandinvestigateitsessentialnature.

Theturningofthemindawayfromtheobjectivecontentofexperiencetowardsthe sourceor essence fromwhich it has arisen is the essenceofmeditationorprayer. It is the ‘inward-facing path’ – sometimes referred to as self-remembering,self-enquiry,self-abidanceorthewayofsurrender–ofwhichtheDirectPaththatisexploredinthisbookistheculmination.

ItistheprocessthatisdescribedinthestoryoftheProdigalSon,inwhichtheson leaves the security and comfort of his father’s kingdom, explores all thepossibilities that the world, or objective experience, has to offer in terms ofpleasure and satisfaction, and eventually realises the futility of his search.Finallyhe turns around towards the sourceofhappiness– symbolisedherebyhis father –whichwas, in fact, always available to him but seemingly out ofreachduetohisexclusivefascinationwiththedramaofexperience.

Inthisgivinguporturningaround,weceasebeingobsessedwithoursufferingandbecomeinterestedinthenatureoftheonewhosuffers.Weturnawayfromtheobjectsofexperienceandinvestigatethenatureoftheonewhoexperiences.

In this investigation, as themind turns the lightof itsknowingaway from theobjects of experience towards its own essence, it is gradually, or occasionallysuddenly,divestedof its limitationsand stands revealedas theverypeaceandhappinesswhichitpreviouslysoughtinobjectiveexperience.

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Peace andhappiness are not, as such, objective experiences that themindhasfromtimetotime;theyaretheverynatureoftheminditself.Happinessisouressential nature, apparently obscured or eclipsed much of the time by theclamourofobjectiveexperiencebutnevercompletelyextinguishedbyit.

Itisforthisreasonthatallthegreatreligiousandspiritualtraditionsindicate,inonewayoranother,thattheultimategoaloflife–lastingpeaceandhappiness–resideswithin us and is equally available to all people, at all times and in allcircumstances.

Onemightlegitimatelyobjecttothestatementthatpeaceandhappinessaretheessentialnatureofourself,askingwhy,ifhappinessisouressentialnature,itisnotalwaysexperienced.Dowenotexperiencehappiness intermittently, justaswedoallotherexperiences?Arenothappinessandunhappinessbothobjectiveexperiencesthatariseandalternateinawareness?

Imaginetheskyasauniformexpanseofgreycloudonanovercastday.Atsomepoint a small patch of blue opens up, and soon numerous other small patchesappear, each seemingly unconnected from the others and each appearing anddisappearingintheexpanseofgreycloud.

Onecouldbeforgivenforbelieving,at firstsight, that thenaturalconditionofthe skywas the unlimited expanse of grey cloud and that the patches of bluewerelimited,temporaryappearanceswithinit.Itisonlywhenthebluepatchesare investigated that it becomes clear that they are, in fact,windows onto theever-present expanse of blue sky inwhich the grey clouds temporarily appearanddisappear.

Likewise, it may seem at first that moments of peace and happiness brieflypunctuateournaturalstate,whichformostpeoplecomprisesadegreeoflackordissatisfactionfromwhichtheyarealwaysinflight.However,ifwemakeadeepinvestigationofthenatureofthemind,*thatis,ifthemindinvestigatesitsownessentialnature,travellingbackthroughlayersofthought,feeling,sensationandperception until it reaches its own essential, irreducible reality, it will alwaysfindpeaceandfulfilmentthere.

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Happiness, likethepatchofblue,appearsatfirst tobeatemporaryexperiencethatoccursfromtimetotime,butwheninvestigatedturnsouttobeever-presentandalwaysavailableinthebackgroundofexperience.

As such, happiness is not a temporary experience that alternates withunhappiness.Itisnottheoppositeofunhappiness,anymorethantheblueskyistheoppositeoftheclouds.Justasthecloudsaretheveilingofthebluesky,sounhappinessistheveilingofhappiness.

Happinessisourverynatureandliesat thesourceofthemind,ortheheartofourself, in all conditionsandunder all circumstances. It cannotbeacquired; itcanonlyberevealed.

Wecannotknow happiness as an objective experience;we can onlybe it.Wecannotbeunhappy;wecanonlyknowunhappinessasanobjectiveexperience.

Intheattempttoaccessthepeaceandhappinessthatlieatthesourceoressenceofourself,mostapproachestomeditationrecommend thecontrolling, focusingor watching of the mind. However, in this approach, meditation is not aboutchangingexperienceinanyway,butratherseeingclearlyitsessentialnature.

The inward-facing path, or Direct Path, in which the mind turns its attentionaway from objective experience towards its own essence or reality, is, in myexperience, best elaborated in the Vedantic tradition, which details with greatprecisionboththephilosophyandthepracticeofthisinvestigation.Inthiswaythe Vedantic tradition provides direct means for accessing the essential,irreduciblenatureofone’smindandthesourceoflastingpeaceandhappiness.

However, it is inevitable that over the centuries theVedantic approachwouldhavetailoreditselftothelevelofunderstandingandtheculturalconditioningofthose towhomitwasaddressedand,asa result,becomemixedwithelementsthatarenotessentialtoit.

The approach suggested in this book is, to the best ofmy ability, the distilledessence of the Vedantic approach, divested of the cultural packaging of theEasterntraditionsinwhichIandmanyothersfirstencounteredit.Ofcourse,this

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bookisalsosubjecttotheculturalconditioningofitstime,butgiventhatmostreaderswillsharethatconditioning,thereislittlechancethatitwillobscureormystifytheunderstandingitconveys.

My first teacher, Dr. Francis Roles, once said to me, ‘The truth needs to bereformulatedbyeverygeneration’.ItismyhopethatthisbookreformulatestheDirectPath for thosewho travelled to theEast, intellectually ifnotphysically,but found it difficult to extricate the simplicity of the non-dual understandingfrom thewealth of exotic concepts inwhich itwas shrouded, aswell as for anewgenerationoftruthseekerswhoarenotburdenedbypreviousreligiousandspiritualteachings.

However,itisimportanttorecognisethattheinward-facingpathexploredinthisbookisonlyhalfthejourney.Oncetheessential,irreduciblenatureofthemindhasbeenrecognised,anditsinherentpeaceandunconditionaljoyaccessed,itisnecessarytoface‘outwards’againtowardsobjectiveexperience,realigningthewaywethinkandfeel,andsubsequentlyact,perceiveandrelate,withournewunderstanding.

Theculminationoftheinward-facingpathistherecognitionofthepresence,theprimacyandthenatureofawareness–or,inreligiouslanguage,spiritorGod’sinfinitebeing–whichtranscendsallknowledgeandexperience.However, it isnot yet the full experiential understanding inwhich awareness itself, orGod’sinfinite being, is known and felt to pervade and saturate all knowledge andexperience,andindeedtobeitssolesubstanceandreality.Itistorecognisethetranscendentnatureofawarenessbutnotitsimmanence.

Ifwedonotreintegratethisunderstandingwithourobjectiveexperience,thenafragile alliance will persist between our essential, irreducible nature of pureawarenessandallobjectsandothers.Thisoftenmanifestsasadenialorrejectionofembodiedlifeintheworldandmayreadilybecomearefugeforanylingeringsenseofaseparateself.

Theprocessbywhich this reintegrationor establishment takesplace, althoughimplicit in the inward-facing or Vedantic tradition, is, in my opinion, bestelaborated in the Tantric tradition, and is an exploration that lies beyond thescopeofthisbook.*

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FuturevolumesinTheEssenceofMeditationSerieswillexplorethecollapseofthe apparent distinction between awareness and objective experience, but thisvolumeconcentratesondiscoveringthepresence,theprimacyandthenatureofawareness itself, revealing its inherent qualities of imperturbable peace andunconditionaljoy.

* ‘Mind’ in this context is used synonymously with ‘experience’ and includes all thinking, imagining,feeling,sensingandperceiving.*Ireferanyonewhowouldliketomakeadeeperexplorationofthisrealignmentprocesstomycollectionof meditations, Transparent Body, Luminous World – The Tantric Yoga of Sensation and Perception,publishedbySahajaPublications.Foranexpandeddiscussionof theplaceof theTantric tradition in thisapproach,pleaseseeTheNatureofConsciousness–EssaysontheUnityofMindandMatter,co-publishedbySahajaPublicationsandNewHarbingerPublications.

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A

CHAPTER1

KNOWING,BEINGAWAREORAWARENESSITSELF

ll objective experience* isknown.Weareawareof our experience. Itwouldnotbepossibletohaveanexperiencewithoutknowingorbeingaware of it. Our current thought, a memory of childhood, whatever

emotionsor feelingsarepresent, the sensationofpainorhunger, the soundoftraffic, thesightofthesewordsortheviewfromourwindowareallknownorexperienced.Assuch,knowing†orbeingawareispresentinallexperience.

Whetherwearedepressed,lonely,sad,joyful,atpeace,inlove,anxious,bored,jealous, excited or happy, we are aware. Whether we are thinking, eating,walking, driving, dancing, studying, dreaming or hallucinating,we are aware.Whateverwearethinking,feeling,perceivingordoing,weareaware.

We are aware ofwhatever is being known or experienced, irrespective of thecontentsofourknowledgeorexperience.

Thus, knowing or being aware is the continuous element in all changingknowledgeandexperience.Itremainsconsistentlypresentthroughoutthethreestates of waking, dreaming and sleeping. No other element of experience iscontinuous.

Infact,beingawareisnotcontinuousintime;itisever-present.However,asaconcessiontothemind’sbeliefintherealityoftime,letussayprovisionallythatbeingawareisthecontinuouselementinallexperience.

Allobjectiveexperience–thoughts,images,feelings,sensationsandperceptions

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–appearsanddisappears,but theexperienceofknowingorbeingawareneverappears or disappears. It remains present throughout all changing experience,justasascreenremainsconsistentlypresentthroughoutallmovies.

Knowingorbeingawareintimatelypervadesallexperiencebutisneverchangedbyanyparticularexperience.

Thoughts,feelings,sensationsandperceptionshavechangedinnumerabletimesthroughoutourlives,buttheknowingwithwhichtheyareknown–thesimpleexperienceofbeingaware–hasremainedthesamethroughout.

Knowledgeandexperiencearealwayschanging;knowingorbeingawareneverchanges.

Theknownalwayschanges;knowingneverchanges.

Knowing or being aware is in the same relationship to all knowledge andexperience as an aware screen would be to a movie. Unlike a conventionaltelevisionscreenthatisbeingwatchedbysomeonesittingonasofa,theawarescreenofpureknowingorbeingawareiswatchingthemovieofexperiencethatisplayinguponit.

Knowingorbeingawareisnotinaccessible,unknownorburiedwithinus.Itisshiningclearlyinthebackgroundofallexperience,justasitcouldbesaidthatthescreenisclearlyvisibleinthebackgroundofamovie.

However, just as the screen tends tobeoverlookedduringamoviedue toourfascinationwiththedrama,soknowing,beingawareorawarenessitselfusuallyremainsunnoticeddueto theexclusivefocusofourattentionontheobjectsofexperience.

Knowing or being aware is not dependent on the particular conditions orqualitiesofexperience.Itshinesequallybrightly inallexperience, irrespectiveofhoweverpleasantorunpleasant,goodorbad,rightorwrongexperiencemaybe,justasascreenisequallyevidentthroughoutallmovies,irrespectiveoftheircontent.

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Knowingorbeingawareistheessential,irreducibleelementofexperience.Itisfundamental to experience. It is that element of experience that cannot beremovedfromit.

Knowing or being aware is nevermodified by experience. It nevermoves orfluctuates.Itistheonlystableelementinexperience.

Knowing or being aware is the primary ingredient in all knowledge andexperience. It is the background onwhich all knowledge and experience takeplace.

Knowing or being aware is the medium upon which or within which allexperienceappears.Itisthatwithwhichallexperienceisknownand,ultimately,itisthesubstanceorrealityoutofwhichallexperienceismade.

It is the knowing element in all knowledge. It is the experiencing in allexperience.

Just as the screen never appears as an object in a movie, although it is fullyevidentthroughoutit,soknowingorbeingawareneverappearsasanobjectofknowledge or experience and yet shines clearly within all knowledge orexperience.

Although knowing or being aware is not itself an objective experience, in thesensethatathought,feeling,sensationorperceptionisanobjectiveexperience,neverthelessweareaware thatweareaware.Therefore, althoughknowingorbeingawarehasnoobjectivequalities,itisatthesametimeknown.

It is in thiscontext that I refer to the ‘experience’ofknowingorbeingaware.However, in order to distinguish knowing or being aware from all objectiveknowledge and experience, it is referred to as thenon-objective experience ofknowingorbeingaware.

Knowingorbeingawareisnotitselfanobjectiveexperience,butwithoutittherecouldbenoexperience.Itisthatwhichmakesexperiencepossibleandyetisnotitselfanexperience.

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Knowingorbeingawareisnon-objective,transparentorcolourless.Itisemptyof all apparent objects but full of itself alone. It is, as such, an utterly uniqueexperience.Itcannotbeknownasanobjectandyetitisnotunknown.

Itisthemostobviouselementofexperienceandyetthemostoverlooked.

Thus it is referred to in theKashmir Shaivite tradition as ‘the greatest secret,morehiddenthanthemostconcealedandyetmoreevidentthanthemostevidentofthings’.

There are no prerequisites for the recognition of knowing or being aware. Torecognisetheexperienceofknowingorbeingawaredoesnotrequireaparticularqualificationorlevelofintelligence.

Noeffortisrequiredtorecognisetheexperienceofknowingorbeingaware,anymorethananeffortisrequiredtoseethescreenduringamovie.

Itisnotnecessarytocontrolourthoughts,sitinaparticularpostureorpractisesomething called meditation in order to be aware of the experience of beingaware. The non-objective experience of being aware is the simplest andmostintimate,obvious,self-evidentfactofexperience.

Theexperienceofbeingawareisindependentofwhateverweareawareof.Noexperienceaffects thenon-objectiveexperienceofbeingaware, justasnothingthattakesplaceinamovieaffectsthescreenuponwhichitplays.

It is not necessary to changeormanipulate experience in anyway in order tonoticethebackgroundofsimplybeingaware.Wemaybeafraid,bored,agitated,depressed,inloveoratpeace;theexperienceofbeingawareremainsthesameinallcases.

Justasnoparticulareventinamoviehastheabilitytoobscurethescreenunlessweallow it todoso, sonoexperiencehas theability toveil theexperienceofknowingorbeingawareunlesswepermitittodoso,inwhichcaseitwillseemtodoso.Assoonaswewithdrawthatpermission,theexperienceofknowingorbeingawarebecomesself-evident.

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Allowtheexperienceofbeingawaretocomeintotheforegroundofexperience,and let thoughts, images, feelings, sensations and perceptions recede into thebackground. Simply notice the experience of being aware. The peace andhappinessforwhichallpeoplelongresidethere.

Beawareofbeingaware.

Inmanyspiritualtraditionstheexperienceofknowingorbeingawareisreferredtoasconsciousnessorawareness.Thesuffix‘-ness’means‘thestateorpresenceof’, so theword ‘awareness’means the state or presence of being aware.Theriskofusing thewords ‘consciousness’ and ‘awareness’ is that theyarenounsand, as such, tend to objectify or reify the non-objective experience of pureknowingorbeingaware.

Indoingsotheysuggestthatawarenessorconsciousnessisaspecial,subtlekindof experience that can be found or known in the same way that we knowobjectiveexperience.Asaresult,manypeopleembarkonagreatsearch,hopingtoachieveenlightenment,whichisconceivedastheultimateexperienceorstateofmind.

This search tends to abstract the experienceof being aware from the intimacyand immediacy of experience and give the impression that it is unknown,mysterious and unfamiliar. It implies that the knowledge of awareness orconsciousnessisanextraordinaryexperiencethatmaybefoundinthefuture.

Suchasearchissimplyarefinementoftheconventionalsearchforhappinessintherealmofobjectsandultimatelyleadstothesamefrustration.

Enlightenmentorawakeningisnotaparticularexperienceorstateofmindthatmaybeachievedbypractisinghardenoughormeditatinglongenough.Itistherecognitionoftheverynatureofthemind.

There is nothingmore familiar or better known than the simple experience ofbeingaware.Ifsomeoneweretoaskusthequestion,‘Areyouaware?’wewouldallanswerwithabsolutecertainty,‘Yes’,andouranswerwouldcomefromdirectexperience.Itwouldcomefromourobviousandintimateexperienceofsimply

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beingaware.

On the other hand, if someonewere to ask us, ‘Is consciousness present?’ or‘What is awareness?’wemight pause andhesitate as towhat exactly is beingreferred to by these words. So please understand that whenever the words‘consciousness’and‘awareness’areused in thisbookinplaceof‘knowing’or‘beingaware’,theyareusedonlyaslanguagedictates.

Thesewordsshouldbeunderstoodtoreferdirectlytotheobvious,familiarandnon-objective experience of knowing or being aware that all beings have incommonandthatpervadesallknowledgeandexperienceinequalmeasure.

Having noticed that the experience of being aware is our most direct andintimate experience,wemaywonderwho orwhat it is that knows or has theexperience of being aware.What is it that knows the experience of knowing?Whatisitthatisawareofbeingaware?

Thecommonnamefor theexperienceofbeingaware is ‘I’.Iamawareof thethoughtofmyfriend.Iamawareofthememoryofchildhood.Iamawareofthefeelingofsorrow,lonelinessorshame.Iamawareoftheimageofmyhome.Iamawareofthesensationofpainorhunger.Iamawareofthesightofmyroomorthesoundoftraffic.

In each of these examples, ‘I’ is the namewe give to thatwhich knows or isaware of all knowledge and experience.As such, ‘I’ is the knowing orawareelementinallknowledgeandexperience.‘I’isawarenessitself.

Sowecouldrephrasethequestion‘Whatisitthatisawareofbeingaware?’as,‘WhoorwhatisitthatknowsthatIamaware?’IsitIwhoamawareofbeingaware, or is the experience of being aware known by someone or somethingotherthanmyself?

ItisobviouslyIwhoamawarethatIamaware.Thatis,itis‘I,awareness’thatis aware of being aware. It is awareness that knows or is aware that there isawareness.Thus,beingawareorawareness itself isself-aware. Just as the sunilluminatesitself,soawarenessknowsitself.

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Before awarenessknows anythingother than itself, such as a thought, feeling,sensationorperception,awarenessisawareofitself.Awareness’snatureistobeawareofitself,andthusitsprimaryexperienceistobeawareofitself.

The experience ‘I am aware’ is awareness’s knowledge of itself. Hence, ourknowledgeofourselfisawareness’sknowledgeofitself.

Justasthesundoesnotneedtodirectitslightinanyparticulardirectioninordertoilluminateitself,soawarenessdoesnotneedtodirectitsattention,thelightofitsknowing,inanyparticulardirectioninordertoknowitself.

Infact,anydirectioninwhichthesundirectedtheraysof its lightwouldonlyilluminate something other than itself. Likewise, any direction in whichawareness shone the light of its knowing would only give it knowledge ofsomethingapparentlyotherthanitself.

Thus,toknowitselfawarenessdoesnothavetoundertakeanyspecialactivityordirect the lightof itsknowing inanyparticulardirection.Noeffort is requiredforawarenesstoknowitself.Infact,anyeffortwouldtakeitawayfromitself.

Awarenessknowsitselfsimplybybeingitself.

*‘Experience’inthiscontextreferstobothourinternalexperienceofthoughts,images,memories,feelingsandsensationsandourperceptionsofanapparentlyexternalworld,thatis,sights,sounds,tastes,texturesandsmells.Thesearereferredtocollectivelyas‘objects’or‘objectiveexperience’.†Theword‘knowing’isusedinthisbooksynonymouslywithbeingaware,awarenessorconsciousness.Itdoesnotimplyconceptualknowledgebutsimplytheexperienceofknowingitself,irrespectiveofwhateverisknownorexperienced.

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CHAPTER2

THENATUREOFAWARENESS

ustasascreenisneveragitatedbythedramainamovie,sobeingawareorawarenessitselfisneverdisturbedbythecontentofexperience.

Thoughtsmaybe agitated, feelings distressed, the body in pain and theworldtroubled,butpureknowing,beingawareorawareness itself isneverperturbedbyanythingthatoccursinexperience.Thus,itsnatureispeaceitself.

Thisisnotafragilepeacethatdependsontherelativecalmofthemind,bodyorworld, but an inherent peace that is always available in the background ofexperience,priortoandindependentofthemind’sactivityorinactivity.Itis,assuch,thepeacethat‘passethunderstanding’.

Nothingthattakesplaceinexperienceenhancesordiminishestheexperienceofbeingawareorawarenessitself,justasnothingthattakesplaceinamovieaddsanythingtoorremovesanythingfromthescreen.

Beingawareisneveraggrandisedordemeanedbytheacquisitionofknowledgeor theoccurrenceofanyparticularexperience.Itneedsnothingfromandfearsnothing in experience. It stands neither to gain nor lose anything from anyparticularexperience.

Awarenessisinherentlywhole,completeandfulfilledinitself.Thus,itsnatureishappinessitself–notahappinessthatdependsupontheconditionofthemind,bodyorworld,butacauselessjoythatispriortoandindependentofallstates,

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circumstancesandconditions.

Itisforthisreasonthat,whenaskediftherewereasinglemessagethathewouldlike to impart to his students, J. Krishnamurti replied, ‘I don’t mind whathappens.’

Just as the screen does not share the qualities, characteristics or limitations ofanyoftheobjectsorcharactersinamovie,althoughitistheirsolereality,sotheknowingwithwhichallknowledgeandexperienceareknowndoesnotsharethequalities, characteristics or limitations of whatever is known or experienced.Thus,itisunlimitedorinfinite.

Justasthescreenisnotconditionedbyanythingthattakesplaceinamovie,soknowing,beingawareorawarenessitselfisneverconditionedbyanythingthattakes place in experience. Knowing, being aware or awareness itself is theessential,irreducibleessenceofthemindpriortoitsconditioningintheformofobjectiveexperience.Itis,assuch,unconditioned.

Ifweareabsorbedinamovieitmayseematfirstthatthescreenliesbehindtheimage. Likewise, if we are so captivated by experience that we overlook thesimpleexperienceofbeingawareorawareness itself,wemay first locate it inthebackgroundofexperience.Inthisfirststep,beingawareorawarenessitselfisrecognisedasthesubjectivewitnessofallobjectiveexperience.

Lookingmorecloselyweseethatthescreenisnotjustinthebackgroundoftheimage but entirely pervades it. Likewise, all experience ispermeatedwith theknowingwithwhich it is known. It is saturatedwith the experience of beingaware or awareness itself. There is no part of a thought, feeling, sensation orperception that is not infused with the knowing of it. This second realisationcollapses,atleasttoadegree,thedistinctionbetweenawarenessanditsobjects.

In the third step, we understand that it is not even legitimate to claim thatknowing, being aware or awareness itself pervades all experience, as ifexperiencewereonethingandawarenessanother.Justasthescreenisallthereistoanimage,sopureknowing,beingawareorawarenessitselfisallthereistoexperience.

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Allthereistoathoughtisthinking,andallthereistothinkingisknowing.

Allthereistoanemotionisfeeling,andallthereistofeelingisknowing.

Allthereistoasensationissensing,andallthereistosensingisknowing.

All there is to a perception is perceiving, and all there is to perceiving isknowing.

Thus, all there is to experience is knowing, and it is knowing that knows thisknowing.Beingall alone,withnothing in itselfother than itselfwithwhich itcould be limited or divided, knowing or pure awareness is whole, perfect,complete,indivisibleandwithoutlimits.

This absence of duality, separation or otherness is the experience of love orbeauty,inwhichanydistinctionbetweenaselfandanobject,otherorworldhasdissolved.

Thus,loveandbeautyarethenatureofawareness.Inthefamiliarexperienceofloveorbeauty,awareness is tasting itsowneternal, infinite reality. It is in thiscontextthatthepainterPaulCézannesaidthatartgivesusthe‘tasteofnature’seternity’.

A character in a movie may travel the world and yet the screen, her solesubstance and reality, never goes anywhere. Likewise, although the mindcontinuallymoves–intheformofallthinking,imagining,feeling,sensingandperceiving–pureknowing,beingawareor awareness itself, its sole substanceandreality,nevergoesanywhere.

Intheformofthemind,awarenessmoveswithoutmoving.

Justasthescreeniscolouredbyamoviebutisneverstainedbyit,soawarenessiscolouredbyexperiencebutisnevertarnishedorsulliedbyanythingthattakesplacewithinit.Pureknowing,beingawareorawareness itself isalwaysin thesamepristinecondition.

Noexperienceleavesatraceonouressential,self-awarebeing.

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Justasthescreenisutterlydefencelessagainstanythingthathappensinamovieandyetisneverdestroyedbytheactivitythattakesplaceuponit,soawarenessis completely open or vulnerable to all experience and yet, at the same time,unharmableandindestructible.

Theexperienceofbeingaware is inexactly the sameconditionnowas itwastwominutesago,twodaysago,twomonthsago,twoyearsagoortwentyyearsago.Theawarenesswithwhichourexperienceasfive-year-oldgirlsorboyswasknown is exactly the same awareness with which our current experience isknown.

Thus, our essential nature of knowing, being awareor awareness itself has noage.Itisforthisreasonthataswegetolder,wefeelthatwearenotreallygettingolder.Theolderweget, themorewe feel thatwehave alwaysbeen the sameperson.Thesamenessinourselfisthesamenessofawareness.

Likewise,theawarenesswithwhichourmostintelligentthoughtsareknownisthe same as the awareness with which our most unintelligent thoughts areknown.

Theawarenesswithwhichthesensationofpain,tensionoragitationisknownisthesameawarenesswithwhichthesensationofpleasure,relaxationorwarmthisknown.

Theawarenesswithwhichtheexperienceofanger,sorroworgriefisknownisthesameas theawarenesswithwhich theexperienceofgratitude,kindnessorenjoymentisknown.

Themind believes that awareness resides within the body and thus shares itslimitationsanddestiny.

Therefore,themindbelievesthatwhenthebodyisborn,awarenessisborn;thatwhenthebodygrowsoldandsick,awarenessgrowsoldandsick;andthatwhenthebodydiesanddisappears,awarenessdiesanddisappearswithit.

However,whenthecharacterinamovieisborn,thescreenisnotborn;whenthe

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characterinamoviegrowsold,thescreendoesn’tage;andwhenthecharacterinamoviedies,thescreendoesn’tdieordisappear.

Likewise,when the body appears or is born, awareness is not born;when thebody ages, awareness does not age; and when the body disappears or dies,awareness does not die or disappear. It remains in the same ageless conditionthroughout.

Awareness never experiences its own appearance or disappearance, its ownbeginningorending,itsownbirthordeath.Inordertoclaimsuchanexperience,awarenesswouldhave tobepresentprior to itsownappearance,beginningorbirthandafteritsowndisappearance,endingordeath.

The finite mind imagines that awareness disappears in deep sleep, but inawareness’sexperienceitisthefinitemindthatdisappearsindeepsleep,leavingawarenessallalone.

Deepsleepisnottheabsenceofawareness;itistheawarenessofabsence.

Thus,initsownexperienceofitself–andawarenessistheonlyonethatknowsanything about itself – awareness is birthless and deathless. In other words,awarenessiseternal.

Justasnothinghappenstothescreenwhenacharacterinamoviebecomessick,sonothinghappenstoawarenesswhenthebodyfallsill.Itisforthisreasonthattoknowone’struenatureofpureawarenessistheultimatehealing.Ifoneknowsoneself as pure awareness, or the simple experience of being aware, one isalwaysinperfecthealth.

Nothingeverhappenstoawareness.

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C

CHAPTER3

THEOVERLOOKINGOFOURESSENTIALNATURE

easebeingexclusivelyfascinatedbywhateveryouareawareofandbeinterestedinsteadintheexperienceofbeingawareitself.

Beawareofbeingaware.

Althoughtheexperienceofbeingawareisnotsomethingthatwecanbeawareof objectively, the non-objective experience of being aware is undoubtedlyknownorexperienced.

If someone were to ask us to list the contents of the room in which we arecurrently sitting, few if any of us would mention space amongst our list ofobjects, because the space cannot be seen in the sameway that a table, chair,bookorlaptopisseen.Andyet,atthesametime,wecannotlegitimatelyclaimthatthespaceisnotbeingexperienced.

Like empty space, relatively speaking, being aware or awareness itself has noobjective qualities or features. It is on account of its non-objectivity that theexperienceofbeingawareorawarenessitselfisusuallyignoredoroverlooked.

Indeed,mostpeoplegothroughtheirentireliveswithouteverquestioningwhoorwhatitisthatknowsorisawareoftheirexperience,orhowexperiencecomestobeatall.

InmymeetingsinEuropeandAmericaIhaveaskedthousandsofpeopleifthey

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wereever askedby theirparents, teachersorprofessorswhoorwhat it is thatknowsorisawareoftheirexperience,andnotasinglepersonhasyetansweredintheaffirmative.

It is hard to imagine a landscape painter spending her entire life painting innature without ever noticing the light that, relatively speaking, illuminates orrendersvisiblethelandscape.Andyetmostpeoplefailtoevernoticeorconsidertheawarenessorconsciousnessthatrevealsorrendersknowableallknowledgeandexperience.

Most of us are so fascinated by thecontent of experience – thoughts, images,feelings,sensationsandperceptions–thatweoverlooktheknowingwithwhichallknowledgeandexperienceareknown.

Weneglectthesimpleexperienceofbeingawarethatremainsever-presentandchangelessinthebackgroundofallexperience.Weignoreawarenessitself.Weoverlookthesimpleknowingofourownself-awarebeing.

In other words, we have forgotten who or what we essentially are and havemistakenourselfinsteadforacollectionofthoughts,images,memories,feelings,sensationsandperceptions.

Due to this ignoring, overlooking or forgetting of our essential nature – theexperienceofbeingawareorawarenessitself–wehaveallowedouressential,self-aware being to become mixed with the qualities and, therefore, thelimitationsofobjectiveexperience.

Justasascreenbecomesmixedwiththequalitiesoftheobjectsinamovieandseems, as a result, to become a landscape or a forest, so eternal, infiniteawarenessbecomesmixedwithandlostinobjectiveexperienceandseems,asaresult,tobecomeatemporary,limitedawareness–thefinitemind,separateselforego.Thatis,weforgetwhowereallyare.

Inotherwords,themindbelievesthatawarenesssharesthelimitsand,therefore,thedestinyofthebody.Thisapparentmixtureofawarenesswiththepropertiesand limitationsof thebody results in theseparate selforego thatmostpeople

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believeandfeelthemselvestobe.

As such, the separate self or ego is an inevitable corollary to the forgetting,overlookingorignoringofthetrueandonlyself*ofeternal,infiniteawareness,or,inreligiouslanguage,theforgettingofGod’sinfinitebeing.

Inspiteofthis,ourtruenatureofeternal,infiniteawarenessisnevercompletelyforgotten or eclipsed by objective experience. However agitated or numbedobjectiveexperiencemayhave renderedourmind, thememoryofoureternityshineswithinitasthedesireforhappiness,or,inreligiouslanguage,thelongingforGod.

WhenIsay,‘Weneglectthesimpleexperienceofbeingaware’,Idonotmeantoimplythat‘we’areoneentityandtheexperienceofbeingawareisanother.Thatisjustamannerofspeaking.The‘I’thatisaware–towhichwereferwhenwesay‘Iamaware’–isthesame‘I’thatknowsthatIamaware.

The‘I’thatisknownisthe‘I’thatknows.Thesunthatilluminatesisthesunthatisilluminated.

Only awareness is aware of awareness. Only being aware is being aware ofbeingaware.

Therefore,the‘we’thatoverlookstheexperienceofbeingaware,orthepresenceofawareness,isawarenessapparentlyoverlookingorforgettingitself.

Itistheself-awarescreenofawareness,uponwhichthedramaofexperienceisplayingandoutofwhich it ismade, thatbecomesso intimately involvedwiththeobjectivecontentofitsexperiencethatitseemstoloseitselfinitand,asaresult,overlooksorforgetsitsownpresence,justasadreamer’smindlosesitselfinitsowndreamatnight.

However,knowing,beingawareorawareness itself isnever trulyobscuredbyexperience, just as the screen is never veiled by a movie. Just as the screenremainsvisiblethroughoutamovie,soknowing,beingawareorawarenessitselfknowsitselfthroughoutallexperience.

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Whetherweseealandscapeorascreendependsonthewaywesee,notwhatwesee. First we see a landscape; then we recognise the screen; then we see thescreenasalandscape.Firstweseeonlyamultiplicityanddiversityofobjects;then we recognise the presence of awareness; then we see awareness as thetotality of objective experience. This is what the Sufis mean when they say,‘ThereisonlyGod’sface.’

And this is what Ramana Maharshi referred to when he said, ‘The world isunreal;onlyBrahmanisreal;Brahmanistheworld.’

Fromthisperspective,experiencenolongerveilsawarenessbutshineswithit.

Theknownshineswithknowing.

However,asaconcessiontotheapparentoverlookingofourtruenature,andtheloss of peace and fulfilment that attends it,we could say that awareness losesitselfinobjectiveexperienceand,assuch,veilsitselfwithitsownactivity,justasascreencouldbesaidtobeobscuredbythedramainamovie.

It is for this reason that the Sufimystic Balyani said, ‘He veilsHimselfwithHimself.’

Thisveiling,inadvertenceorturningawayfromawarenessisknownas‘originalsin’ in theChristian traditionandas‘ignorance’ inVedanta.TheHebrewwordmostoftentranslatedintheBibleas‘sin’ischata’ah,meaningliterally‘tomissthemark’.

Original sin is, in this context, the missing, overlooking or ignoring of theessential element of experience – awareness or consciousness itself, or God’sinfinitebeing.Thus,inreligiousterminologytosinistoturnawayfromGod.

Likewise, in Sanskrit, the original language of Vedanta, the word avidya isusually translated as ‘ignorance’, ‘misunderstanding’ or ‘incorrect knowledge’.In thiscontext ignorancedoesnot implystupidity,as incommonparlance,butrather the ignoring of awareness, that is, awareness’s apparent ignoring,overlookingorforgettingofitself.

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With this veiling, ignoring or limiting of awareness and its subsequentcontraction into a finite mind, apparently separate self or ego, the peace andfulfilmentthatareinherentinitarealsoeclipsed,althoughtheyechowithinitasa memory for which it longs. This longing for peace and happiness is thedefiningcharacteristicoftheapparentlyseparateselforego.

Thus, the forgetting of our true nature is the source of all psychologicalsuffering, and, conversely, the remembering of our self – its remembrance orrecognitionofitself–isthesourceofpeaceandhappinessforwhichallpeoplelong.

Once the apparently separate self or ego has exhausted the possibilities forsecuring peace and happiness in objective experience, it may be open to thepossibilityofaccessingthemwithinitself.Thisintuitionisthebeginningoftheseparate self’s return to its inherently peaceful and unconditionally fulfilledessenceofpureawareness,andisthustheresolutionofitssearch.

All that theapparently separate selfneeds todo to recognise itsownessentialnatureand thusaccess its inherentpeaceandhappiness is to recognise that itsessenceofpureawarenessisnotconditionedorlimitedbyobjectiveexperience.In otherwords, its essencemust be clearly seen. That is, awarenessmust seeitselfclearly,andtoseeitselfclearlyitmust‘lookat’itself.

However,justasthebeamoflightfromaflashlightcanbedirectedtowardsanobject but cannot be directed towards the bulb from which it emanates, soawareness, intheformofattentionormind,candirectthelightofitsknowingtowardsobjectiveexperiencebutcannotdirectitselftowardsitself.

Wecannotdirectourmindtowardstheexperienceofbeingaware;wecanonlydirectourmindaway fromit.Therefore, itwouldbemoreaccurate tosay thatawarenessmust relax the focus of its attention, or disentangle itself from theobjectsofexperience,therebyallowingitsattentiontoreturntoorcometorestinitself.Thus,thehighestformofmeditationisnotanactivitythatisundertakenbythemind.Itisarelaxing,fallingbackorsinkingofthemindintoitssourceoressenceofpureawareness,fromwhichithasarisen.

Thisreturningofawarenesstoitself,itsremembranceofitself–beingawareofbeing aware – is the essence ofmeditation and prayer, and the direct path to

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lastingpeaceandhappiness.

Theapparentlyseparateselforegoislikearubberball thatisbeingsqueezed.Allthereistothesqueezedballistheoriginalball.However,squeezingtheballshrinksitandsetsupatensionthatisalwaysseekingtoexpandittoitsoriginal,relaxed condition. The squeezed ball does nothing; it is the naturally relaxedstateofthefullyexpandedballthatdrawsthecontractedballbacktoitsoriginalcondition.

Likewise, the separate self is an apparent limitation or contraction of infiniteawareness. All there is to the separate self is the true and only ‘self’ of pureawareness,butitscontractionintoafiniteentitysetsupatensionthatisalwaystendingtoreverttoitsoriginal,relaxedandnaturalcondition.ThispullisfeltbytheseparateselfasthedesireforhappinessorthelongingforGod.

Inreality, it isnot theseparateself thatsearchesforhappinessorreturns to itsnatural,relaxedcondition.Itisthepullormemoryofitsnaturalstatethatcallstheseparateselfbacktoitsinnateconditionoffullyrelaxed,inherentlypeacefulawareness.

The movement of the separate self towards its essence of pure awareness is,from the perspective of the separate self, felt as desire or longing; the pull ofinherentlyrelaxed,peacefulawarenessonthecontractionoftheseparateselfistheattractionofgrace.

OurloveforGodisGod’sloveforus.

*‘Self’ in thiscontextdoesnot refer toanentityor ‘a’self. Iamtaking thecommonwordforwhatweseemtobeandapplyingittoouressential,objectless,self-awarebeing.

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I

CHAPTER4

THEDISENTANGLINGOFAWARENESS

norder to recogniseorbecomeawareof itselfas it is,awarenessdoesnotneed todoanythingspecial.Awareness isbynatureself-aware, justas thesunisbynatureself-luminous.

Therefore,awareness’sknowledgeofitself–thatis,ourknowledgeofourownessential,irreduciblebeing–isnotaneworspecialkindofknowledge.Itistheknowledgethatisinherentwithinawareness,thoughseeminglyobscuredduetotheexclusivefocusofourattentiononobjectiveexperience.

The Russian philosopher P. D. Ouspensky referred to the apparent processthrough which awareness recognises its own eternal, infinite nature as ‘self-remembering’,bywhichhemeantnotthememoryofsomethinginthepastthatwas once known and has since been forgotten, but rather the recognition orknowing again of something that is present and familiar, but seeminglyoverlookedorforgottenduetotheclamourofexperience.

Meditation is, as such, the remembering of our self: the pristine, luminous,inherentlypeacefulandunconditionallyfulfilledexperienceofbeingawarethatwealwaysandalreadyare,which runsever-present throughout all experience,seemingly but never really obscured by thoughts, feelings, sensations andperceptions.

It is the remembrance or prayer towhich St.Matthew referredwhen he said,‘Butthou,whenthouprayest,enterintothycloset,andwhenthouhastshutthy

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door,praytothyFatherwhichisinsecret’.

Infact,ouressential,irreducibleself,pureawareness,cannotberememberedinthewaythatanobject,personoreventisremembered,foronlysomethingwithobjectivequalitiescanbe remembered.Norneed awarenessbe remembered inthatsense,foronlysomethingthatislostormissingneedstoberemembered.

However, ifweare lost in thecontentsofamovie, the screenwillseem tobemissingorunseen.Ofcourse,thescreenisalwaysbeingseen,althoughwehavetemporarily overlooked or forgotten it due to our absorption in the movie.Likewise, awareness is always present and aware of itself, but seems to ceaseknowingitselfasittrulyiswhenitlosesitselfinobjectiveexperience.

In such a case, awareness’s knowledge of itself becomes mixed with itsknowledge of other things and, as a result, it seems to cease knowing itselfclearly. The experience of being aware becomes distorted or obscured by thequalitiesofobjectiveexperience.

Awareness becomes mixed with and, therefore, apparently limited by thequalitiesofthinking,feeling,sensingandperceiving,andthusseemstobecomeatemporary,finiteselformind.

Awarenessofobjectseclipsesawarenessofawareness.

Onlytheinfinitecanknowtheinfinite;onlythefinitecanknowthefinite.

Inorder toknowobjectiveexperience, infiniteawarenessassumes the formofthe finitemind,but inorder toknow itself itneednotassume the formof themind. In other words, in the form or activity of the mind, awareness knowsthoughts, images, feelings, sensations and perceptions, but in the form of theminditcannotknowitself.

Awareness cannotknow itself in the formof themindbecause themind is anapparentlimitationofawareness,justasacharacterinadreamcannotknowthedreamer’smindbecausesheisalimitationofthatverymind.

Everythingthedreamedcharacterknowsisareflectionofthelimitationsofher

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own mind, and therefore she cannot know the dreamer’s ‘unlimited’ mind,*althoughherownmindismadeof it.Thelimitationsofherownmindpreventherfromknowingherunlimitedreality.Forthesamereason,thefinitemindcanneverknowunlimitedawareness,althoughitisamodulationofit.

Just as amovie couldbe said tobe the activityof the screen,or a current theactivity of the ocean, so mind is the activity of awareness. As such, mind isawarenessinmotion;awarenessismindatrest.

Themindthatseeksawarenessislikeacurrentintheoceaninsearchofwater.Suchamindisdestinedforendlessdissatisfaction.

Mindistheactivityorcreativityofawarenessinwhichawarenessitselfseemstobecomeentangled.Awarenessseemsto lose itself in itsowncreativity; itveilsitselfwithitsownactivity.

Meditationisthedisentanglingofawarenessfromitsownactivity.

Inmeditationthesimpleexperienceofbeingawareisextricatedfromeverythingthatweareawareof.

Whenwecomeoutofbrightsunlightintoadarkroom,wecannotdoanythingwiththemindtomaketheobjectsappearinthedarkness.Wejuststaythereandrelax,andslowlytheobjectsemerge.

Meditation is similar. There is nothing the mind can do to find or knowawareness,for themindisa limitationof theveryawarenessforwhichit is insearch.Anythingtheminddoesissimplymoreofitsownveilingactivity.

Meditation is the subsidence of the activity of mind and the subsequentrevelation of the very essence of themind – pure knowing or awareness – toitself.

Onlyawarenessknowsawareness.Inthenon-activityornon-practiceknownasmeditation,theactivityofthemindsubsidesand,asaresult,itsessenceofpureawareness,havinglostitsapparentlimitations,standsrevealedtoitselfasitis.

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Ifsomeoneweretodrawourattentiontothewhitepaperonwhichthesewordsarewritten, wewould suddenly become aware of it. In fact, wewere alwaysaware of the paper but we didn’t realise it due to the exclusive focus of ourattentiononthewords.

Awarenessis likethewhitepaper.It is theluminous,self-awarepresenceuponwhich or within which all experience appears, the transparent knowing withwhich all experience is known and, ultimately, the substance or reality out ofwhich all experience is made. The poet Shelley referred to it as ‘the whiteradianceofeternity’.

Therecognitionofawareness–itsrecognitionofitself–isnotsomethingnewthatisseenorknown;itisanewwayofseeingorknowingwhatisalwaysandalreadypresentandinplainview.

Enlightenmentorawakeningisnotaneworextraordinarykindofexperience.Ittheself-revelationoftheverynatureofexperienceitself.

Awarenesscannotbediscovered;itcanonlyberecognised.

Thedisentanglingofawarenessfromitsownactivitycanbeeffectedbyaskingaquestion that invites themind to trace itswayback fromobjective experiencetowardsitsessential,irreduciblenature.

Onesuchquestionis,‘AmIaware?’Mostquestionsleadawarenesstodirectthelightofitsknowingorattentiontowardsobjectiveknowledgeorexperience,butaquestionsuchas,‘AmIaware?’isasacredquestionthatinvitesthemindinanobjectlessdirection.

Asthemindproceeds in thisobjectlessdirectionitbegins torelax,sinkorfallback into the source of awareness from which it has arisen. The mindprogressively loses its colour or activity until its essence of pure awareness isrevealed.

Alfred,LordTennysonwasreferringtothissacredinvestigationwhenhewrote,‘Follow knowledge like a sinking star, beyond the utmost bound of human

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thought’.

That is, seek absolute knowledge of the eternal, infinite, self-aware being thatshinesineachofourmindsastheexperienceofbeingawareortheknowledge‘Iam’,at theverysourceof theminditself,prior toallobjectiveknowledgeandexperience.

Theanswertothequestion‘AmIaware?’isobviously,‘Yes’.Thequestion‘AmIaware?’isathought,inwhichwearenotyetcertainoftheanswer.Theanswer‘Yes’isasecondthought,inwhichweareabsolutelycertainoftheanswer.

Something takes place between these two thoughts which converts theuncertaintyexpressedinthequestiontothecertaintyexpressedintheanswer.

Whatever occurs between these two thoughts is not itself an appearance oractivityofthemind;itoccursbetween twosuchappearancesoractivities.Andyetwhateverhappensinthatplacelessplace–placelessbecauseintheabsenceoftheactivityofmindnotimeorspaceisexperienced–givesustheconvictionfrom which we are able to answer ‘Yes’ to the question ‘Am I aware?’ withabsolutecertainty.

Inordertoanswerthequestion‘AmIaware?’wemust‘goto’theexperienceofbeingaware.Inotherwords,wemustknowtheexperienceofbeingaware.Wemustbeawareofbeingaware.

Ifwewerenot awareof the experienceofbeing aware,wewouldnot answer‘Yes’withsuchcertaintytothequestion‘AmIaware?’

Onemightthenwonder,whoisthe‘we’orthe‘I’thatisawareoftheexperienceofbeingaware?

Only awareness is aware.Therefore, in thepausebetween thequestion ‘Am Iaware?’andtheanswer‘Yes’,awarenessceasesdirectingthelightofitsknowingtowardsobjectiveexperienceand,asaresult,becomesawareofitself.

Infact,awarenessdoesn’tbecomeawareofitself.Awarenessisalwaysawareofitself,justasthesunisalwaysilluminatingitself.

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However, when awareness directs its attention or the light of its knowingtowardsanobject,itsawarenessofitselfismixedwithitsawarenessofobjects,and thus it seems toceasebeingawareof itselfas it truly is.Therefore, in thegap between two such objects or thoughts it seems to become aware of itselfanew.

Awareness’sawarenessofitselfisnot,infact,anew,mysterious,uncommonorexceptionalexperience.Itisthemostintimate,familiarandordinaryexperiencethat it ispossible tohave. It issimply theknowingofouressential,self-awarebeing – its knowing of itself. It is the simple experience towhich each of usreferswhenwesay,‘Iam’.Itistheknowledgeofsimplybeing.

The question ‘Am I aware?’ and the answer ‘Yes’ are thoughts. They areactivities of awareness, rather than objects appearing in awareness, just as amoviecouldbesaidtobetheactivityofthescreenratherthananentitywithitsownindependentexistencethatappearsonthescreen.

Assuch,beingawareofbeingaware–awareness’sawarenessofawareness–isrevealed between two activities of themind, that is, between two thoughts orperceptions,justastheblankscreenisexposedbetweentwoframesofamovie.

Inthepausebetweenthequestion‘AmIaware?’andtheanswer‘Yes’,themindisrelievedofitsactivityand,asaresult, its limitations,andstandsrevealedasinfiniteawareness,illuminatingorknowingitselfalone.

Awarenessisawareofawareness.

Tobeginwith,awarenessmayseemtofinditdifficulttoremainwithitself,thatis, to stay with the non-objective experience of simply being aware, soaccustomed is it to assuming the form of mind and, as such, directing itselftowardsobjectiveexperience.

Assoonasthisisnoticed,wemayaskagain,‘AmIaware?’,inthiswayinvitingthemindawayfromtheobjectsofknowledgeorexperience,towardsitsessenceorsource.

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Themindcanonly standas suchbyattending toanobject, sowhen themindasksitself thequestion‘AmIaware?’ itembarksona journeyinanobjectlessdirection – a pathless path – away from thoughts, images, feelings, sensationsandperceptionsandtowardsitsessential,irreducibleessenceofpureawareness.

Ramana Maharshi referred to this non-process as ‘sinking the mind into theheart’.

Duringthisdirectionlessjourney,themindsinksorrelaxesbackwards,inwardsor‘selfwards’.Asitdoessoitis,inmostcasesgradually,occasionallysuddenly,divestedofitsfinite,limitedqualitiesand,atsomepoint,standsrevealedaspuremind,originalmindorinfiniteawareness.

Infact,tosuggestthatthemindembarksonajourneytorediscoveritsessenceorrealitymaybemisleading.Howmuchdistanceistherebetweenanimageandthescreen?

The path of the finite mind to its fundamental, irreducible essence is not ajourney from one place or entity to another, although, as a concession to themind’sbeliefinitselfasaseparate,independentlyexistingentity,thisdiscoveryisoftendepictedasajourney,pathorpilgrimage.Itismorelikethefadingofanimageonascreen.

Mind is the self-colouring activity of awareness. Meditation is the fading ordissolving of this self-colouring activity and the subsequent revelation of thecolourlessessenceofthemind,pureawarenessitself.

Being aware of being aware – awareness’s awareness of awareness – is acolourless, non-objective experience. It is an experience of the essence of themindafterithasbeendivestedofitsfinitequalities.Itis,assuch,puremind–awarenessitself–knowingitsownintrinsic,irreducible,indestructibleessence.IntheZentraditionitisreferredtoas‘ouroriginalface’.

Thetransparent,colourlessexperienceofbeingawareorawarenessitselfcannotbeknownorrememberedbythemindbecausemind–theactivityofawareness–isnotpresent,orrather,isnotactivethere.

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Themind, at best, overlooks the non-objective experience of being aware andmay even deny its very presence. Such a mind is like a wave denying theexistenceofwater.

However, a mind that is accustomed to repeatedly dissolving in its source oressencebecomesprogressively saturatedwith its inherent peace.When such amind rises again from the ocean of awareness, its activity makes that peaceavailabletohumanity.

Suchamindmayalsobeinspiredbyknowledgethatisnotsimplyacontinuationof thepastbutcomesdirectly from itsunconditionedessence.This inspirationbrings creativity and new possibilities into whatever sphere of knowledge oractivityinwhichthatmindoperates.

* In reality the dreamer’smind is limited, but in this analogy the dreamer’smind represents unlimitedawareness.

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CHAPTER5

THEEFFORTLESSPATH

heword ‘attention’, from the Latin a-, meaning ‘to’ or ‘towards’, andtendere, meaning ‘to stretch’, implies a stretching or directing ofawarenesstowardsanobjectofknowledgeorexperience.

Justasthesunshinestheraysofitslightonanobjectinordertoilluminateit,soawarenessdirectsthelightofitsknowingtowardsathought,feeling,sensationorperceptioninordertoknowit.

However,justasthesuncannotshineitsownlightonitselfbecauseitisalreadystanding at itself, so awareness cannot direct the light of its knowing towardsitselfbecausethereisnodistancefromitselftoitself.

Itisnotbecauseawarenessissofarthatitseemstobeunknownormissing;itisbecauseitissoclose.Itiscloserthanclose.

If someone were to ask us, relatively speaking, to stand up and take a steptowards ourself, in which direction would we turn? We cannot take a steptowardsourself,becausewearealreadystandingatourself.Norindeedcanwetakeastepawayfromourself,becausewetakeourselfwithuswhereverwego.

Likewiseforawareness.Inordertoknowitselfitdoesn’thavetodoanythingorgoanywhere. Itdoesn’thave todirect itsknowing towards itself,because it isalready standing at itself. Awareness is too close to itself to know itself insubject–objectrelationship.

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Inorderforanyknowledgeorexperiencetobeknown,aknowingsubjectmuststand apart from the known object, other or world. Attention is the distancebetween the subject and the object.As such, the subject–object relationship isthemeansbywhichallconventionalknowledgeandexperienceareknown.

Everythingapartfromawareness,thatis,allobjectsofthoughtandperception,isknownby somethingother than itself – a separate subject of experience–butawarenessisknownbyitselfalone.Therefore,awareness’sknowledgeof itselfisauniquekindofknowledge. It is theonly formofknowledge thatdoesnotrequirethesubject–objectrelationship.Itisabsoluteknowledge.Thatis,itistheonlyknowledgeorexperiencethatisnotrelativetoordependentuponthefinitemind,theapparentlyseparatesubjectofexperience.

In fact, all relative knowledge and experience are derived from and are arefraction of this single, non-dual, absolute knowledge, just as the apparentmultiplicity and diversity of the objects and people in a night dream arerefractionsofasingle,indivisiblemind.

In order to shine on the moon, the sun’s light must travel a certain distancethrough space. But in order to illuminate itself, the sun doesn’t need to goanywhereordoanything.Thesun’snature is illumination. Justbybeing itselfthesunilluminatesitself.

In other words, for the sun, to be itself and to illuminate itself are the same.Illuminatingitself isnotsomethingthat thesundoes; it iswhat it is. It isself-illuminating.

Likewise, awareness knows itself simply by being itself,without the need forany other agency. That is, awareness knows itself by itself, in itself, throughitself,asitselfalone,withouttheneedtoriseintheformofmindorattention.

ThisiswhatBalyanimeantwhenhesaid,‘IknewmyLordthroughmyLord.’

Awarenessisourprimaryexperience;thatis,beingawareisawareness’sprimaryexperience.Beforeawarenessknowsobjectiveexperience,itknowsitself.

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In order to know something seemingly other than itself, such as a thought,feeling,sensationorperception,awarenessmustshineitsattention,thelightofitsknowing,awayfromitself,towardsthatobject,butinordertoknowitselfitdoesnotneedtodirectthelightofitsknowingawayfromitself.

Awareness’snature is pureknowing. It is self-illuminating, self-knowing, self-aware.

There is no difference between our own being and the knowing of our ownbeing,justasthereisnodifferencebetweenthesunanditsshining.

Awarenessknowsitselfsimplybybeingitself.

Awarenessissoclosetoitselfthatthereisnodistancebetweenitselfanditselfand, therefore,no room for apath.Anypathwouldbe apath fromawarenesstowardsanobject.

From awareness to awareness there is no space, no distance, no time and,therefore,nopossibilityofapathorpractice.Thus,beingawareofbeingawareisanon-practice.

ThisiswhytheDirectPathisreferredtoasapathlesspath.IntheDirectPathwestartwith the goal andwe stay there.That is, awareness startswith itself andstayswithitself.Thus,thehighestmeditationissimplytobe.

For this reason, there can be no effort in this non-practice. Any effort wouldinvolve directing themind towards an object or trying to control the focus ofattention.

Justas thestretchingofa rubberbandsetsupastateof tension that isalwaystendingtoreverttoitsoriginal,relaxedcondition,soattention,orthedirectingofawarenesstowardsanobject,establishesasubtletensionthatisalwaystendingtoreverttoitsnaturalstateofequilibrium.

The desire for peace or happiness is the desire to return to our original,inherentlyrelaxedcondition.

Meditationistherelaxationofthetensioninattentionandthesubsequentreturnofawarenesstoitself.Itisadissolvingofthemindintheheartofawareness,not

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adirectingofthemindtowardsanykindofobjectiveexperience.

In fact, to say that awareness ‘returns’ to itself is a concession to one whobelieveshimselftobeaseparateselforfinitemindand,assuch,seemstobecutofffromhisinherentlypeacefulnatureofpureawareness.Forsuchaone,thereseemstobeareturning.Forawareness,thereisjustarecognition.

Meditationisnotsomethingwedo;itissomethingweceasetodo.Thus,itcouldbecalledself-returningorself-resting.

Everything apart from the knowing of our own being requires some kind ofactivity. Thinking, feeling, acting and perceiving are all activities of mind,althoughinalmostallcaseswehavebecomesoaccustomedtothisactivitythatitisnolongerregisteredassuch.

However,beingawareofbeingaware–awareness’sawarenessofitself–istheonly truly effortless experience there is. Everything else, even breathing orthinking,requiresenergy.

ThisiswhatAshtavakrameantwhenhesaid,‘Forthesage,evenblinkingistoomuchtrouble.’

Mind is the activity through which and as which awareness knows objectiveexperience.Therefore,inawareness’sknowledgeofitself–beingawareofbeingaware–thereisnoneedorroomforanymovementoractivityofthemind.

There is no pathway from our self to our self, from awareness to awareness.Having no room for a path and, therefore, no room for a practice, there is noroomforapractitioneroraselftotravelfromawarenesstoawareness.

We could only practice being aware of something apparently other thanawareness.Indeed,theseparateselforegoexistsastheveryactivitythatensuesbetweenawarenessanditsobject.

Thesunthatilluminatesisthesunthatisilluminated.Theawarenessthatknowsistheawarenessthatisknown.

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Meditationisbetweenawarenessanditself.It issimplyawarenessbeingitself,restinginitself,knowingitselfalone:beingawareofbeingaware.

ThisiswhyitissaidintheBookofRevelation,verse22:13,‘IamtheAlphaandtheOmega;Iamthefirstandthelast;Iamthebeginningandtheend.’

T.S.Eliotreferredtothesameunderstandinginhispoem‘LittleGidding’whenhewrote:

WhatwecallthebeginningisoftentheendAndtomakeanendistomakeabeginning.Theendiswherewestartfrom.

IntheDirectPath,awarenessissimultaneouslytheorigin,thepathandthegoal.Beingaware is simultaneously the subject thatknows, theprocessofknowingandtheobjectthatisknown.

Beingawareisbeingawareofbeingaware.

Awarenessisawareofawareness.

Knowingisknowingonlyknowing.

Beingawareofbeingawareistheessenceofmeditation.Itistheonlyformofmeditation that does not require the directing, focusing or controlling of themind.

We cannot become what we essentially are through any kind of practice.Throughpracticewecanonlybecomesomethingthatisnotessentialtous.

Wecanbecome fiftyyearsold.Wecanbecome tired.Wecanbecomemarried.We can become lonely. But our essential, self-aware being is prior to allbecoming,and indeedremainspresent, albeitusuallyunnoticed, throughoutallbecoming.

However, once we seem to have become a separate self or finite mind, ouressentialnatureofpureawarenessseemstobemissing,veiledorlost.Therefore,from the perspective of a separate self or temporary, limited awareness, there

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seemstobeapracticethatmustbeundertakenorapaththatmustbetravelledtofind or know again our essential self and, above all, to access the peace andhappinessthatareinnatetoit.

Thus, as a compassionate concession to the belief in being a temporary, finiteentityorself,thenon-dualteachingwill,inmostcases,encouragethepracticeofmeditation,intheformofself-enquiryorself-surrender.

Thispointisoftenmisunderstoodincontemporaryexpressionsofnon-duality.Inordertoaccommodatetheexperienceofsufferingandyetmaintainanapparentlyenlightened perspective, such a teaching claims, ‘All suffering appears inawareness,butthereisnooneherewhosuffersand,therefore,nothingtodo.’

In such a statement, thenon-dual teaching is beingused in the sameway thatobjects,substances,activities,statesofmindand relationshipswerepreviouslyused,namely,todistracttheapparentlyseparateselffromitssuffering.Inotherwords,theseparateselfhasappropriatedthenon-dualteachingandisusingittoperpetuateitsownillusoryexistence.

Ifwearesuffering itwouldbebetter tobehonestwithourselfand investigatetheonewhosuffers.Afterall,ifwearesufferingweare,bydefinition,seeking.Doingnothing isnotanoption foronewhoconsidershimself tobeaseparateself.

For such a one there are only two possibilities: to seek temporary relief inobjects, substances, activities, states ofmind and relationships, or to seek thesource of suffering within himself through self-enquiry or self-investigation,whichnaturallyleadstoself-abidanceorself-surrender.

Thus, for most people, meditation, self-enquiry or contemplative prayer willseem,atleastinitially,tobeanactivitythattheyasaseparateselfpractise,andonlygradually,astheirunderstandingmaturesandtheirpracticeisrefined,willself-enquirygivewaytoself-abidance,self-restingorself-surrender.

That is, only gradually, inmost cases, will it become clear thatmeditation iswhatweare,notwhatwedo,andthattheseparateselforfinitemindiswhatwedo,notwhatweare.

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Until thisisrecognised,meditationwillseemtorequireaneffort,andif thisisthecase,andforaslongasitseemstobeso,weshouldmaketheeffort.

Intimeitwillbecomeclearthatwecannotmakeanefforttobeorknowourself–wecanonlymakeanefforttobeorknowsomethingapparentlyotherthanourself–andatthatpointoureffortwillcomespontaneouslytoanend.

Inorder toclenchour fistaneffort is required,butaftersome timeofholdingourhandinthatposition,theclenchedfistwillseemtobethenaturalconditionofourhandandwewillnolongerbeawareoftheeffortrequiredtomaintainit.Ifwewerenowtoopenourhand,itwouldseeminitiallythatweneededtomakeanefforttodoso.

Itisonlybecausetheclenchedfistseemstobethenaturalconditionofthehandthat an effort seems to be required to open it. Once it is understood that thenatural condition of the hand is one of openness, it becomes clear that theopeningofthehanddidnotrequireaneweffortbutrathertherelaxationofthepreviouslyundetectedeffortofclosingit.

The separate self or ego is like the clenchingof the fist. It is a contraction ofinfiniteawarenessintoanapparentlyfinitemind.

Mostofushavebecomesoaccustomed to the tension inherent in theseparateself that we believe and feel that it is our natural state, and so from thisperspectiveitseemsthatwehavetomakeanefforttoknowandrestinandasawareness.

However, once our true nature of pure awareness has become apparent, werealisethatnoeffortisrequiredeithertoreturntoitortoremainthere.Infact,we become sensitive to the subtle effort that the mind almost continuouslymakesinordertomaintaintheillusionofaseparateandindependentlyexistingself.

As an inevitable corollary to this understanding, to remain knowingly thepresenceofawarenessbecomesincreasinglyournaturalcondition,untilthereisnolongeradistinctionbetweenmeditationandlife.

Effortlessbeingisournaturalstate.

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CHAPTER6

THEINWARD-FACINGPATH

warenessshinesineachofourmindsastheexperienceofbeingaware,thefeelingofbeingortheknowledge‘Iam’.Assuch,theknowledge‘Iam’isawareness’sawarenessofitself.

The knowledge ‘I am’ shines briefly in our experience at the end of everythought, feeling,sensationorperception,althoughitusuallyremainsunnoticedduetoitsbrevity,aswhenthescreenisrevealedbetweentwoframesofamovie.

Theknowledge ‘I am’ is alsopresentduring all thinking, feeling, sensing andperceiving but seems to be veiled by them, just as the screen remains presentduringamoviebutseemstobeobscuredbyit.

Theknowledge‘Iam’,orawareness’sknowledgeof itself, is thusprior toandbeyondallthefinitemind’srelativeknowledgeandexperience,aswellasbeingitsultimatereality.Assuch,itisabsoluteknowledge.

In religious terms this absolute knowledge is known as God. Thus, ourknowledgeofourselfisGod’sknowledgeofHimself.ItisforthisreasonthatinthemysticalChristiantradition,therestingofthemindintheheartofawarenessisknownasthepracticeofthepresenceofGodorthesurrenderofthemindtoGod’sinfinitebeing.

TheIndiansageSriNisargadattaMaharajreferredtoitasfocusingonthe‘Iam’,bywhichhemeantrestingintheexperienceof‘Iam’,thatis,simplyrestinginandasouressential,unconditioned,self-awarebeing.

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The use of the word ‘focusing’ in this context is a concession to the mind’snormalactivityofdirecting itself towardsor focusingonobjectiveexperience.To such a mind, the teaching suggests reorienting attention towards theknowledge ‘I am’. However, this is not a directing of the mind but rather arestingof themindin itsownessence, thesimple,non-objectiveexperienceofbeingawareorawarenessitself.

Foramind that is accustomed todirecting itself exclusively towardsobjectiveexperience,theexperienceofbeingaware,thefeelingofbeingortheknowledge‘Iam’isatraceorahintinthemindastothedirectioninwhichtolookforthepeaceandhappinessforwhichitlongs.

Theknowledge‘Iam’islikeasmallimageofascreenappearingonthatscreen.Fromthestandpointoftheimage,theimageofthescreenispartoftheimage;fromthestandpointofthescreenitisthescreen.Fromthepointofviewofthemind,theknowledge‘Iam’isanexperiencewithinthemind;fromthepointofviewofawareness,itisawarenessitself.

ItisthisrecognitionthatisreferredtointheSufisaying‘IsearchedforGodandfoundonlymyself;IsearchedformyselfandfoundonlyGod.’

Thus, the knowledge ‘I am’ is the experience in which the finite mind andinfinite awareness intersect. It is a beacon that shines with the presence ofawareness in the midst of experience. It is a portal through which the mindpassesonitsjourneybacktoitssource.

It is for this reason that the words ‘Know Thyself’ were carved above theentrance to the templeofApollo inDelphi.And it is for the same reason thatBalyanisaid,‘WhoeverknowstheirselfknowstheirLord’.

Thejourneythat themindtakesfromtheobjectivecontentof itsexperiencetoitsever-present,innermost,irreducibleessenceisknownintheEasterntraditionsas meditation and in the West as prayer. It is sometimes referred to as theinward-facing path or the path of discrimination. This is not meant to implyinwardsintothebody,butratherinwards,awayfromtheobjectsofexperience,towardstheirreducibleessenceofthemind.

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InSanskrit it is referred toasatmavichara,which isoften translatedas ‘self-enquiry’ or ‘self-investigation’. However, this can be misleading because thewords ‘enquiry’ and ‘investigation’ in Western culture suggest a process oractivity of the mind. ‘Self-abidance’ or ‘self-resting’ would be a bettertranslation.

Havingsaidthat,thephrases‘self-enquiry’and‘self-investigation’arelegitimatebecausethisprocessis,inmostcases,initiatedbyaquestionsuchas,‘Whatisitthat knowsor is awareofmyexperience?’, ‘Wheredo thoughts come from?’,‘Whatisthenatureoftheknowingwithwhichallknowledgeandexperienceareknown?’,‘AmIaware?’or‘WhoamI?’

Asthemindpondersthesequestions,itbecomesprogressivelyrefined,travellingback through layers of objective experience, gradually purifying itself of allobjective, limiting qualities. In this way self-enquiry or self-investigationgraduallylosesitsdynamismandgiveswaytoself-abidance,self-restingorself-remembering,inwhichitsownessential,irreducibleessencestandsrevealed.

Theword‘revelation’comesfromtheLatinrevelare,fromre-,meaning‘backtotheoriginal’,‘again’or‘anew’,andvelare,meaning‘tocoverorveil’.Thus,arevelationisnotanewexperiencebutratherthelayingbareoruncoveringofanessentialtruththatwaspreviouslyobscuredordistorted.Assuch,meditationorprayeristheunveilingofthemindandthesubsequentexposureofitsessential,irreducibleessence.

Inotherwords,althoughmeditationmayseematfirsttobeanactivity that themind undertakes in order to achieve some new state or experience, it is laterunderstoodtobetheverynatureoressenceoftheminditself.

Meditationiswhatweare,notwhatwedo.

Most forms of meditation involve directing the mind towards some kind ofobject,suchasamantra,aflame,adeity,aguru,thebreathorthepausebetweenbreaths.InthecaseofconventionalprayerourloveisdirectedawayfromourselftowardsGod,whoisconceivedtoexistataninfinitedistancefromourself.

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Alltheseformsofmeditationorprayerrequiredirectingthemindtowardsmoreor less subtle objects and, as such, they all maintain the subject–objectrelationship.Whilst theseareentirely legitimateand, inmanycases,necessarypreludes to the ultimate meditation or prayer, they must at some point beabandoned.

All paths have their strengths and potential pitfalls. For those on a path ofdevotion,torelinquishtheobjectofdevotionistheultimatesurrender.Forthoseonapathofknowledge, torelaxthefocusingofattentionor thecontrollingofthemindisthefinaltest.

Subjectandobjectareliketwosidesofthesamecoin.Theycannotariseorexistindependently of one another. In order for the mind, the separate subject ofexperience,todisappearor,moreaccurately,toloseitsapparentlimitations,theseparateobjectofexperiencemustalsodissolve.

Inorderforlovetobeexperienced,boththeloverandthebelovedmustvanish.

Beingawareofbeingaware–abiding inandas theself, resting in the‘Iam’,practising the presence of God – is the only form of meditation or prayer inwhichtheego,theapparentlyseparatesubjectofexperience,isnotmaintained.It is, as such, the highest formofmeditation or prayer. It is themeditation orprayerforwhichallothermeditationsandprayersarepreparations.

Ouressentialnatureofinherentlypeaceful,unconditionallyfulfilledawareness–whichshinesineachofourmindsasthesimpleexperienceofbeingawareortheknowledge ‘I am’ – is equally present and available to all people, under allcircumstances,inallsituationsandatalltimes.

It isnotawareness that isobscuredormissing; it iswewhohaveturnedawayfromit.Thatis,itisthemindthathasturnedawayfromitssourceandessence.

However,Idonotmeantosuggestthatmindisonethingandawarenessanother.Themindisinthesamerelationshiptoawarenessasthecharacterinadream–fromwhose point of view the dreamedworld is known – is to the dreamer’smind.All there is to thecharacter in thedream is thedreamer’smind,but the

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dreamedcharacterdoesnotknowthis.

Aslongasthedreamedcharacterisfocusedexclusivelyontheobjectivecontentof her experience, she will never recognise the nature of her own mind or,therefore, therealityofherworld,andwillneverfindthepeaceandhappinessforwhichshelongs.

In order to know her own nature, shemust turn her attention away from theobjectsofexperience,towardsthatwithwhichtheyareknown.Shemustknowthenatureoftheknowingwithwhichallknowledgeandexperienceareknown.Shemustbecomeawareoftheexperienceofbeingaware,whichistheessenceofherownmind.

At night, the sun doesn’t disappear. It continues to shine with the samebrightness.Itistheearththathasturnedawayfromthesunand,asaresult,hasfallen intopartialdarkness.Assoonas theearth turns round, so tospeak, thatpartofitthatwasindarknesslightsup.

TheFallintheChristiantraditionissimplytheturningawayofthemindfromitsessence.ItistheturningawayofthesoulfromGod’sinfinitebeing.

Thepresenceofawarenessalwaysshineswiththesamebrightness,behindandinthemidstofallexperience.Allexperienceissaturatedwithitspresence.Allthatisnecessaryisto‘turnround’.

Lalla,afourteenthcenturymysticandpoetfromtheKashmirShaivitetradition,referred to this turning aroundwhen she said, ‘I travelled a longway seekingGod,butwhenIfinallygaveupandturnedback,thereHewas,withinme.’

Wehave searched for so long in objects, substances, activities, states ofmindand relationships for peace and fulfilment. Although the acquisition orexperience of any of these brings our search temporarily to an end and, as aresult,givesusabrieftasteofthepeaceandfulfilmentforwhichwelong,theydonotlast.

Itisonlywhenwe‘giveupandturnback’–onlywhenweceaseseekingpeace

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and fulfilment in objective experience and turn the mind in the directionlessdirection,allowingittosinkdeeperanddeeperintotheheartofawarenessfromwhichithasarisen–thatwebegintotastethelastingpeaceandfulfilmentforwhichwehavelongedallourlife.

Fromtheperspectiveofthemind,thisnon-practiceofabidingorrestingintheexperienceofbeingawareorawarenessitselfseemstobeablankordullstate.However, in time, awareness’s innate qualities of imperturbable peace andcauselessjoyemerge,inmostcasesgradually.

Thisgivingupandturningback,theturningaroundofthemind,wasreferredtointheearlyOrthodoxChurchasHesychasm,thesilenceoftheheart.

ItistheremembrancetowhichIsaiahrefersintheOldTestamentwhenhesays,‘ThouwiltkeephiminperfectpeacewhosemindisstayedonThee.’

It is the non-activity inwhich the path of knowledge and the path of love ordevotionmeet.Itistheexperienceinwhichself-investigationandself-surrenderareunderstoodtobeoneandthesame.

Awareness’s recognition of itself – being aware of being aware – is not somekind of newknowledge; it is simply the clear seeing ofwhatwas always andalready the case but seemingly obscured by the activity of thinking andperceiving. Nor is awareness’s recognition of its own essential nature anextraordinaryexperiencetowhichsomemindshaveprivilegedaccess.

Beingawareshinesequallybrightlyinallexperience.Evenadeepdepressionisilluminatedbythelightofawareness.Beingawareisnotburied,veiledorhardtofind.Itistheverylightofknowingwithwhichallexperienceisknown.

RamanaMaharshiand theBuddhadidnothavespecialaccess to thenatureoftheirownminds,noranyspecialqualifications.TheBuddhajustsatdownunderatreeandsaidtohimself,‘IamgoingtostayhereuntilIrecognisethenatureofmy ownmind’. The essential nature of hismindwas exactly the same as theessentialnatureofeachofourminds.

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WhenRamanaMaharshiwas suddenly overcome by the fear of death, he laydownonthegroundandsimplyaskedhimself,‘Whatistheessentialnatureofmyself? What cannot be removed from myself? What happens to awarenesswhenthebodydies?’Inotherwords,hespontaneouslyengagedintheprocessofself-investigation.

As a compassionate concession to people’s difficulties and objections, all thegreat spiritualand religious traditionshaveenumeratedvariousdisciplinesandpracticestorefineandpreparethemindforitseventualsubsidenceinitssourceoressence.

RamanaMaharshibypassedalltheseprogressivemeansandwentdirectlyfromhiscurrentexperience to theessentialnatureofhismind, thus resurrecting theDirectPathforourage.

ThisistheageoftheDirectPath.

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CHAPTER7

TRAILINGCLOUDSOFGLORY

magineanactornamedJohnSmithwhoplays thepartofKingLear. JohnSmith represents infinite awareness and King Lear the finite mind orapparentlyseparateself.

Just as John Smith andKing Lear are not two different selves, but rather thelatter simply an imaginary limitation self-assumed by the former, so infiniteawarenessand the finitemindarenot twodifferententities.The finitemind issimplyanimaginarylimitation,self-assumedbyinfiniteawarenessforthesakeofmanifestingobjectiveexperience.

Imagine thatJohnSmithplayedhis rolesoeffectivelyonenight thatheforgotwhohereallywasandbelieved,asaresult,thatheactuallywasKingLear.WhatwouldKingLearhavetodoinordertorealisethathewasJohnSmithandthusberelievedofhissuffering?Inreality,KingLearcouldnotdoanything,becausethereisnorealpersoncalledKingLear.

To suggest thatKing Lear has to do something to become John Smithwouldvalidate King Lear’s belief in himself as an independently existing person orentity,andwouldthussubtlyperpetuatethecauseofhissuffering.However, ifKingLeardoesnothinghewill simply remainKingLear–or at least hewillseem to do so from his own imaginary point of view – and, as a result, willcontinuetosuffer.

Inthiscase,KingLearwillcontinuetoseekrelieffromhissufferingthroughthe

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acquisitionofobjects,substances,activities,statesofmindandrelationships–anever-endingsearchthatwillonlycompoundhisunhappiness.

Therefore,aslongasKingLearbelievesthatheisKingLear,thereissomethingfor him to do. In fact, it is not possible for King Lear to exist withoutundertakingsomeactivitytorelievehissuffering.Ifwearesufferingwearebydefinition already engaged in a relentless search for happiness in objectiveexperience,andtherefore‘doingnothing’isnotanoption.Seekinghappinessinobjectiveexperienceistheactivitythatdefinestheapparentlyseparateself.

As a compassionate concession to one in such a predicament, the non-dualteachingwillsuggestsomeactivityorpracticewherebytheonewhosufferswillbeled,eitherdirectlyorindirectly,tothesourceofpeaceandhappinesswithinherself.

Iftheonewhosuffersissufficientlymature,theteachingwillguideherattentiondirectly to the source or essence of her ownmind,wherein lie the peace andhappinessforwhichshelongs.

However, if her mind is so accustomed to seeking happiness in objectiveexperience that it is not yet stable or mature enough to turn away from theobjectsofexperienceandtowardstheirsubjectivesource,theteachingmaygiveher some intermediary practice aimed at preparing her mind for its eventualreturntoanddissolutioninitsownessence.

Thesepreparatorypractices involvedisciplining thebodyand themind for thepurposeoffreeingattentionfromitsfixationontheobjectsofexperience.Whenattentionhasbeenpurified,atleasttoadegree,ofitshabitofpursuingpeaceandhappiness in objective experience, themindwill only need a small hint as towhere to find thepeace andhappiness forwhich it longs.Aquestion such as,‘WhoamI?’or‘AmIaware?’willsuffice.

Whilstallsuchpreliminarypracticesarelegitimateandappropriatesolutionstothe various inclinations, abilities and degrees of maturity of spiritual seekers,theymustallleadsoonerorlatertodivestingthemindofitslimitations.

TheDirect Path, bywhich themind returns directly to its source through therecognition of its innate peace, clarity and luminosity, is the essence and

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culminationofallspiritualpracticeandcanbefoundattheheartofallthegreatspiritualandreligioustraditions.

Let us return to King Lear, and let us assume that in spite of being deeplyinvolvedintheaffairsofhiskingdom,hismindissufficientlymaturetoreflectonitsownessence.

WhatdoesKingLearhave todo torecognisehe isJohnSmith?Heneedonlyaskhimselfabouttheessenceofhisownmind:‘WhoamIreally?Whatisitthatknowsorisawareofmyexperience?AmIaware?’

EachofthesequestionswillleadKingLearawayfromtheobjectivecontentofhis experience – the drama with his daughters and courtiers – towards theessence of his ownmind, the simple experience of being aware or awarenessitself.Inotherwords,eachofthesequestionswilldrawKingLearclosertotheknowledgeofhimselfasJohnSmith.

AsKingLeartravelsbackthroughlayersofhisownmind,discardinganythingthat isnotessential to it–his thoughts, images,memories,feelings,sensationsandperceptions–theessenceofhismindwillbegintoemergefromitsapparentobscurity.Atsomepoint,whenallsuperfluousknowledgeandexperiencehavebeendiscarded,theknowledge‘IamJohnSmith’isrevealed.

However,itisnotKingLearwhorecognisesJohnSmith.OnlyJohnSmithhastheexperienceofbeingJohnSmith.

John Smith is one person, so the knowledge ‘I am John Smith’ is non-dualknowledge:itdoesnottakeplaceinsubject–objectrelationship.TheJohnSmiththatknowsistheJohnSmiththatisknown.The‘I’thatknowsisthe‘I’thatisknown. John Smith does not need to do anything or go anywhere in order toknowhimself.Heknowshimselfsimplybybeinghimself.

Likewise,onlyawarenessisawareofawareness.Thefinitemindisnotanentityinitsownright.Ithasnoexistenceof itsown.It is theactivity thatawarenessassumesinordertoknowobjectiveknowledgeandexperience,justaswemightsaythatKingLearistheactivitythatJohnSmithassumesinordertomanifest

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thedramaoftheplay.

Just as John Smith never ceases being John Smith or becomes King Lear,likewise,atnopointdoesawarenessceasebeingawarenessorbecomeafinitemind.AndjustasitisnotKingLearwhoknowsJohnSmith,so,likewise,itisneverafinitemindthatbecomesorknowsinfiniteawareness.

ItisforthisreasonthatBalyanisaid,‘NooneseesHimexceptHimself,noonereachesHimexceptHimselfandnooneknowsHimexceptHimself.HeknowsHimselfthroughHimselfandHeseesHimselfbymeansofHimself.NoonebutHeseesHim.’

WhenKingLearandJohnSmitheachsay ‘I’, they refer to thesameessential‘I’, although forKingLear this ‘I’ is coloured and thus apparently limited bythoughts,feelings,sensationsandperceptions,whereasforJohnSmithitshinesclearlyasitis.

Inreality,theselfofKingLearisthetrueandonlyselfofJohnSmith.The‘I’ofthe finite mind or apparently separate self is the true and only ‘I’ of infiniteawareness.

ThisiswhatMeisterEckhartwasreferringtowhenhesaid,‘TheeyewithwhichIseeGodisthesameeyewithwhichGodseesme.’

Theapparentlyseparateselforfinite‘I’aroundwhomallexperiencerevolvesisthetrueandonly‘I’ofeternal,infiniteawareness–the‘I’ofGod’sinfinite,self-aware being that shines in each of our minds as the knowledge ‘I am’ –temporarily colouredby thoughts, images, feelings, sensations andperceptionsbutneverbeingorbecominganythingotherthanitself.

Noselfotherthaneternal,infiniteawareness,orGod’sinfinite,self-awarebeing,hasevercomeintoexistence.Tobelievesoisblasphemy.

Thereisonlyinfiniteawareness,assumingtheactivityofthefinitemind,therebyveiling itselfwith itsownactivityandappearing to itself asamultiplicityanddiversityofobjectsandselves,butneveractuallybeing,becomingorknowing

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anythingotherthanitsowneternal,infinitebeing.

We do not have to eradicate a separate self in order to be knowingly eternal,infiniteawarenessorGod’sinfinite,self-awarebeing.Thereisnoseparateselftobe eliminated. To attempt to dissolve or annihilate a separate self simplyperpetuates its illusory existence.Todiscipline the separate self is tomaintaintheseparateself.

The separate self is an illusion that seems to exist only from its own illusorypointofview.However, all illusionshavea reality to them.The realityof theapparentlyseparateselforfinitemindisinfiniteawareness.

Seeing the reality of infinite awareness is the death or dissolution of theapparently separate self or ego. This is referred to in the Zen tradition as theGreatDeath.ItisrepresentedintheChristiantraditionbythecrucifixion.

Untilthispointtheseparateselforegohasbeenequatedwiththefiniteminddueto the identificationof the selfwith themind.However,wemustnowmakeadistinction between a finite mind that believes in its own separate andindependentexistence– that is, the separate selfor ego–andamind thathasbeen divested of all such beliefs and feelings and, as a result, shineswith theknowingofitsownreality.

Inthecaseofthelatter,thefinitemindwillcontinuetoarisefromitssourceoressence of pure awareness, but its sense of separation and limitation has beenneutralised in the clear light of this self-recognition. Although its ability tomisleadusmaylingerforsometimethroughforceofhabit,itisonlyamatteroftimebeforeitfades.

It is for this reason thatwhen the IndiansageAtmanandaKrishnaMenonwasaskedhow toknowwhenone is established inone’s truenature, he is said tohavereplied,‘Whenthoughts,feelings,sensationsandperceptionscannolongertakeyouaway’.

To refer to the death or dissolution of the separate self or ego is, at best, aconcessiontothemind’sbeliefinitsownindependentexistence.Moreoftenitis

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amisunderstanding.

In reality, themind cannot be said to have disappeared or dissolved, for therewasnoreal,independentlyexistingentityormindpresenttobeginwith,justasKing Lear cannot be said to have vanished because he never truly existed assuch.

KingLearisanillusion.However,likeallillusions,thereisarealitytohim.TherealityofKingLearisJohnSmith.WheneverythingillusoryhasbeenremovedfromKingLear, JohnSmith stands revealed as he is. In otherwords, no newknowledge has been added to John Smith. It is only that ignorance has beenremovedfromhim.

Therecognitionofouressential,self-awarebeing–itsknowingofitself–istheself-knowledgethatshinesafterignorancehasbeenremovedfromit.

The removal of ignorance and the consequent dawning of true knowledge isreferred to in various spiritual traditions as awakening, enlightenment, self-realisation,salvation, illumination, liberation,satori,nirvana,moksha,bodhiorprajna.

However,thesetermstendtoconferadegreeoftheexoticortheunfamiliaronourdirect,intimateknowledgeofourself,whereasinfactnothingcouldbelessextraordinarythantheknowingofourownbeing.

For amind that is accustomed to giving its attention exclusively to objectiveexperience, this non-objective recognition may trigger waves of profoundrelaxationinthemindorthebody,inwhichtheknotsandcontractionsthathaveaccumulatedoveralifetimearereleased.

Thereleaseofthesetensionsmayprecipitateunusualeffectsinthemindorthebody,butsuchexternalsignsshouldnotbeconfused,astheyoftenare,withthesimplerecognitionofourownbeing.

Alternatively,thisrecognitionmayhappensoquietlythatthemindmaynotevennoticethetransitionthathastakenplaceoversometime.

WhentheZenteacherShunryuSuzukiwasonceaskedwhyheneverreferredtohisenlightenmentexperience,hiswife,whowassittingat thebackofthehall,

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stood up and said, ‘Because he never had one!’ The recognition of our truenatureisnotanexoticexperience.Indeed,itisnotanexperienceatall.

In this recognition, our essential, irreducible, self-awarebeing simply loses itsapparentlimitationsanditsrealitystandsrevealed:open,transparent,luminous,indestructible,unbornandundying.

Whensuchamindrisesagainfromtheheartofawarenessandventuresoutintothe realm of objective experience, it does so, as Wordsworth said, ‘trailingcloudsofglory’.

Thatis,itrisesfromawarenessstillsaturatedwiththeimperturbablepeaceandcauseless joy that are the essential qualities of awareness, and makes thesequalitiesavailabletohumanity.

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I

CHAPTER8

THEOCEANOFAWARENESS

fawarenesswerelikenedtoanocean,thoughtswouldbethewavesthatplayonthesurfaceandfeelingsthecurrentsthatflowwithinit.Justasallthereisto thewaves and currents is themovementor activityof theocean, so all

thereistothemindisthemotionoractivityofawareness.

It isalwaysstill in thedepthsof theocean; likewise, theheartofawareness isalwayssilentandatpeace.

Forthisreason,allthemindhastodotofindthepeaceforwhichitlongsistosinkintotheheartofawareness.AsRumisaid,‘Flowdownanddowninever-wideningringsofbeing.’*

As awave or current flows ‘down and down’ into the depths of the ocean, itloses itsagitationand‘widens’untilat somepoint itcomes to rest.Havingnoactivityormotionthere,thewaveorcurrenthaslostitsformand,asaresult,itslimitations.

Thewaveandthecurrentdonotdisappear.Theyneverexistedintheirownrighttobeginwith.Thewaveandthecurrentaresimplythemovementofwater.

Thewater doesn’t appearwhen thewaves and currents appear, and it doesn’tdisappearwhentheysubside.Nothingnewcomesintoexistencewhenthewaveandcurrentappear,andnothingisremovedfromexistencewhentheydisappear.

Likewise, as the mind sinks progressively into its essence it quietens and

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expands–thatis,itisdivestedofallthatisfinite,conditionedorlimitedwithinit – and stands revealed to itself as its essential, irreducible essence: clear,luminous,silentawareness.

When the waves of the mind rise in the form of thoughts, images, feelings,sensations and perceptions, nothing new appears, and when they subside,nothingrealdisappears.

As it says inChapter2, verse 20 of theBhagavadGita, ‘Thatwhich is neverceasestobe;thatwhichisnotnevercomesintoexistence.’

Justasthewavesthatplayonthesurfaceoftheoceanandthecurrentsthatflowwithin it are only the formless water moving within itself, so all thinking,imagining, feeling, sensingandperceivingareonlyawarenessvibratingwithinitself,appearingtoitselfasthemultiplicityanddiversityofobjectiveexperience,butneverceasingtobeorknowanythingotherthanitself.

Eachofourmindsisanapparentlimitationofinfiniteawareness.Justasawaveor current gives the formless ocean a temporary appearance, so each of ourmindsgivesunlimitedawarenessaprovisionallimit,andthusatemporarynameandform.

Thefinitemindistheactivitythatinfiniteawarenessfreelyassumesinordertobringmanifestation intoapparent existence. Inassuming the formof the finitemind, infiniteawarenessseems to limit itselfand,assuch,becomesaseparatesubject of experience, fromwhose point of view it is able to know itself as aseparateobject,otherorworld.

Meditation is the reversalof thisprocess.When theactivityof the finitemindsubsides,nothinghappens toawareness; it simply losesa temporarynameandform.

It is for this reason that in theTantric traditionofKashmirShaivism it is saidthat the path by which we fall is the path by which we climb. The pathwaythroughwhichinfiniteawarenessassumestheformofthefinitemindisthesamepathway,traversedintheoppositedirection,throughwhichthefinitemindloses

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itslimitationsandstandsrevealedasinfiniteawareness.

Indoingsoitisgradually,inmostcases,butoccasionallysuddenly,divestedofthe limitations that it freely assumed in the first place in order to manifestcreation.

TheDirectPath– thepathlesspathof self-investigation, self-abidanceor self-surrender – is the means by which the finite mind is divested of its freelyassumedlimitationsuntilitsessential,irreducible,indivisible,indestructibleandimperturbablenatureofpureawarenessstandsrevealedtoitselfasitis.

Atnopoint,eitherintheoutwardprocessofmanifestationortheinwardpathofreturningtoitsessenceofinfiniteawareness,doesafinitemindevercomeintoexistenceinitsownright.

There isnosuchentityasa finitemindoraseparateself.Afinitemind is thefreely assumed activity of infinite awareness, through which and as whichawarenessknowsitselfastheworld.ThefinitemindisthustheagencyofGod’sinfinitebeing,neveranentityinitsownright.

There is only one reality – one infinite, indivisible, self-aware being withnothinginitselfotherthanitselfwithwhichitcouldbelimitedorfromwhichitcould be separated – from which all apparent objects and selves derive theirseemingexistence.

Infinite awareness never ceases being infinite awareness in order to become afinitemind.Itjustcoloursitselfwithitsownactivityandappearstolimititself.Thereisjustawarenessandthecolouringofawarenessbutnevertheabsenceofawareness,northeexistenceofanyothermindorself.

Awavecannotfindpeaceandfulfilmentinanotherwave.Theonlywayforittofind lasting peace and fulfilment is to sink into the depths of itself, therebyprogressivelylosingitsagitation.

Likewise,theonlyplaceinwhichanapparentlyseparateselforfinitemindcanfindlastingpeaceandfulfilmentisinthedepthsofitsownbeing.Theseparate

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selforfinitemindthatlongsforpeaceandfulfilmentinobjectiveexperienceislikeacurrentintheoceaninsearchofwater.

Although the search for peace and fulfilment is temporarily alleviated by theacquisition of an object, substance, activity, state ofmind or relationship, it isnever fully satisfiedand, as a result, resurfacesas soonas thenewexperienceceasesordisappears.

Itisonlywhentheapparentlyseparateselforfiniteminddivesdeepwithinitselfthatitfindstherest,thepeaceandthefulfilmentforwhichitlongs.

Thefinitemindorseparateselfisanillusionthatisseeminglyrealonlyfromitsown illusory perspective.However, this does notmean that the finitemind orseparateselfdoesnotexist.Itsimplymeansthatitisnotwhatitappearstobe.

All illusionshave a reality to them, and ifwe are experiencing an illusionweare, by definition, experiencing its reality. It is not possible towatch amoviewithoutseeingthescreen.

The ‘I’ of the separate self is the true and only ‘I’ of infinite awareness,seemingly mixed with and, therefore, apparently limited by the objectivequalitiesofexperience.

Withthisapparentlimitationofawarenesscomesalimitingofthepeacethatisinherent within it. It is for this reason that the primary motivation of allapparentlyseparateselvesistofindpeaceorfulfilment.

Thewoundofseparationthatlivesintheheartsofmostpeopleisaninvitationfrom the heart of awareness, drawing the mind inwards to the peace andfulfilmentthatliveatitssourceandessence.

Justasattentionormindisawarenessdirectedtowardsanobject,soourlongingordevotionislovedirectedtowardsapersonorgod.Andjustasthepeaceandhappiness which the mind desires live at the source of attention, never at itsdestiny,sotheloveforwhichtheheartlongsresidesattheoriginofitslonging,neverinitsfulfilment.

Assuch,ourlongingoriginatesfromandismadeoutoftheverysubstanceforwhichitlongs.Inthewordsofasixteenth-centuryItalianmonk,‘Lord,Thouart

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thelovewithwhichIloveThee.’

The returning of attention to its source is the essence of meditation; thedissolvingofdevotionorlonginginitsoriginistheheartofprayer.

Themindthatseekspeaceandhappinessandtheheartthatlongsforlovemustsubsideordissolveintheiressence.

Wemustdiebeforewedie.

Inbeingawareofbeingaware,thereisnoroomforaseparateself.Thereisjusteternal, infinite awareness, resting in and as its own inherently peaceful,unconditionallyfulfilledbeing…knowing,beingandlovingitselfalone.

ItisforthisreasonthatRumisaid,‘Intheexistenceofyourlove,Ibecomenon-existent.Thisnon-existencelinkedtoyouisbetterthananythingIeverfoundinexistence.’

Inbeingawareofbeingaware– theknowingofourownessential, irreduciblebeing–themindlosesitsagitationandtheheartisrelievedofitsyearning.

What remains cannot be given a name, for all names refer to the objects ofknowledge and experience, and yet it is that forwhich allminds seek and allheartslong.

*TranslatedbyColemanBarks.

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THEESSENCEOFMEDITATIONSERIES

TheEssenceofMeditationSeriespresentsmeditationsontheessential,non-dualunderstandingthatliesattheheartofallthegreatreligiousandspiritual

traditions,compiledfromcontemplationsledbyRupertSpiraathismeetingsandretreats.Thissimple,contemplativeapproach,whichencouragesaclear

seeingofone’sexperienceratherthananykindofeffortordiscipline,leadsthereadertoanexperientialunderstandingoftheirownessentialbeingandthe

peaceandfulfilmentthatareinherentwithinit.

BeingAwareofBeingAware

SahajaPublications&NewHarbingerPublications2017

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PUBLICATIONSBYRUPERTSPIRA

TheTransparencyofThings–ContemplatingtheNatureofExperienceNon-DualityPress2008,SahajaPublications&NewHarbingerPublications2016

Presence,VolumeI–TheArtofPeaceandHappinessNon-DualityPress2011,SahajaPublications&NewHarbingerPublications2016

Presence,VolumeII–TheIntimacyofAllExperienceNon-DualityPress2011,SahajaPublications&NewHarbingerPublications2016

TheAshesofLove–SayingsontheEssenceofNon-DualityNon-DualityPress2013,SahajaPublications2016

TheLightofPureKnowing–ThirtyMeditationsontheEssenceofNon-DualitySahajaPublications2014

TransparentBody,LuminousWorld–TheTantricYogaofSensationandPerceptionSahajaPublications2016

TheNatureofConsciousness–EssaysontheUnityofMindandMatterSahajaPublications&NewHarbingerPublications2017

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www.rupertspira.com

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