belcher on the roof

7/27/2019 Belcher on the Roof

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Bobs Burgers"BELCHER ON THE ROOF"

By

Mordaret

PanicModeAlpha

http://mordaret.tumblr.comhttp://panicmodealpha.tumblr.com


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INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - DAY

TINA grabs books out of her locker, shutting the locker doorgently. She walks past a poster supported by a thumbtack onthe bulletin board. It reads "Auditions!" on the top,following by "Love With A Dash Of Love" and the date set to

Friday afternoon shortly after school. This catches Tinaseyes.

TINA(to herself)

"Love With a Dash of Love." A playabout desperate love andshenanigans. Right up my alley.

Shortly after Tina skims through the poster, GENE and LOUISEcatch up behind her.

LOUISE

Whatcha readin, sister?

GENEWhatever shes reading, it lookslike a grand slam!

TINAIt seems the school is holdingauditions for a big, romantic playthis Friday, filled with the thingsdreams are made of... If Im lucky.

LOUISE

What kind of dreams? The kindtherapists use for cheap booksales?

TINAIt would be a wonderful dream fullof passion and romance where Icould live in for eternity. Wherelips are free for kissing and allof the boys are shirtless.

GENENot to mention super hunky!

LOUISEEw.

TINAPerhaps with this, I could finallyget as close as I can to JimmyJunior. Just think: The two of us

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2.

TINA (contd)

as the plays highlights. Ourjourney together starts from ourfirst glance, with variousobstacles in our way. (under herbreath) Hopefully, those obstacles

wont have us too out of characteror into nothing too dramatic(normal voice), leading up to thebig climax, where the both of usmeet.

BEGIN DAYDREAM SEQUENCE

THE POSTER IN TINAS HAND:

The poster contents swirl around until it forms JimmyJuniors face. The face of the poster begins to pucker hislips up for Tina, as if hes anticipating a kiss from her.

Meanwhile, Tina leans in to the poster, puckering her lipsfor a kiss. Once her lips touch the poster, she startskissing rather passionately.

LOUISEUh, Tina?

END DAYDREAM SEQUENCE

Gene and Louise exchange looks. Tina does not hear Louisetrying to get her attention. She shouts her name, resultingin Tina snapping back into reality.

TINAHuh? Oh, yeah, I know. I was justpracticing... With this poster, andthis ink lipstick. Yeah..."

She pulls away from the poster with a frown on her face.

LOUISESo, this is pretty much anotherchapter of "Tinas Pesto Quest",huh? You do know the previousinstallments ended with you not

getting a kiss and also lying onthe floor groaning about it whilethe rest of us were trying tosleep, right?

TINAWell, this time, its different,aside from the date, time, andmonth. This is the theatre were

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3.

TINA (contd)

talking about: Jimmy Juniorschance to shine. This is theperfect opportunity for him to showthe world his dance moves. No magictricks, no cooking utensils, just

pure Jimmy Junior. If we get theleading roles of the play, theresgoing to be nothing in our way, andIll finally be able to win my wayinto his musical heart.

GENEHe really oughta get that checkedout if his heart is that musical.Thats usually a sign of a heartattack!

LOUISE

Well, how do you even know if JimmyJunior even knows about this sap ofa play anyway?

Tina looks around, noticing a stack of pamphlets for theplay and a box full of them near the supply closet.

TINA(determined)

Ill find a way.

CUT TO:

Tina, Gene, and Louise approach to Jimmy Juniors locker.Louise watches out for anyone coming their way as Tina walksher way to the locker, trying not to drop the pamphlets.

LOUISECoast is clear.

TINAIve gathered up as many pamphletsas I can. Now, I need to get toJimmy Juniors locker.

Tina holds the pamphlets wrapped around one arm and unlocksJimmy Juniors locker with the other hand. She successfullygets access in, and stuffs the pamphlets into his locker.Before they fall out, she slams the locker shut.

GENETina, Its Pest-OClock! Time toscram!


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4.

LOUISEOh, crap! Code red!

The trio make a run for it, getting away from Jimmy Juniorslocker before JIMMY JUNIOR and ZEKE walk their way towardthe locker. The Belcher kids are nowhere to be seen.Meanwhile, there is a conversation between the other two

boys as they walk.

ZEKEDid you see that boy? He wasCOVERED with spaghetti!

JIMMY JUNIORYeah. Hey, I have to get somethingout of my locker.

Jimmy Junior opens his locker, only to be bombarded withpamphlets Tina stuffed in there earlier. He yelps as areaction to the numerous amounts of paper falling out.

ZEKEWhoa, J-Ju! You were visited by themarketing fairy by the looks of it!

Jimmy Junior picks up one of the pamphlets from his locker.

JIMMY JUNIOR"Love With A Dash Of Love"?Auditions Friday?

Zeke reads one of the pamphlets himself.

ZEKESeems like they got one of themfancy Broadway directors for thisshtick.

JIMMY JUNIORRhonda Diamanto? THE RhondaDiamanto?! Zeke, how did the schoolget her for this?

ZEKEBlackmail?

JIMMY JUNIOROh man, this is my chance to makeit big time. Time for ol JimmyJunior to turn the dancing dial upto eleven! Whoo!

Jimmy Junior starts to dance as Zeke cheers him on.


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5.

ZEKEYeah Jim-Jam! Unleash that dancemachine of yours!

Tina stares at Jimmy Juniors celebratory dancing from adistance, along with Gene and Louise, who are justunsurprised with his unleashed dancing. Tina seems the most

satisfied.

TINA(to herself)

And Tina is one step closer to thePesto prize.

LOUISE(overhears Tina)

Wow, third-person perspective huh?Thats some confidence.

TINA

Tina was? Sorry about that. Tinaoften gets that way sometimes,though hopefully, Tina will getbetter at not doing that as much.

EXT. BOBS BURGERS - DAY

Posters of the upcoming play are all over the restaurantwindow and building. Not only were the posters on hisrestaurant, but also onto other establishments and aroundtown.

INT. BOBS BURGERS - DAY

BOB has a confused look on his face, eying at the posterssurrounding the restaurant. TEDDY takes a bite out of aburger as he talks with Bob.

BOBCould someone explain the massiveamounts of posters?

TEDDY

Maybe the town was hit by a windstorm that struck a printing shopnear by?

BOBNo, Teddy, that couldnt havehappened. Posters dont just appearout of nowhere like this. But thenagain... Maybe?


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6.

TEDDYKind of like an avalanche. Youdont see those everyday,especially in this town.

Tina, Gene, and Louise walk in the restaurant.

BOBHi, kids.

LOUISEHello, dad! How are we doing thisfine afternoon?

BOBIm doing fine, Louise. Just fine.

LOUISEI see that this Rhonda chick marked

her territory here with her talentbegging, too!

GENEShes like an entitled puppy whocant control herself! Somebodyneeds a vet appointment!

BOBRhonda who?

GENERhonda Diama... Diana...

Diamalamadingdong!

TINADiamanto, Rhonda Diamanto. Shesholding auditions for a new playshes directing at our school.

All in a sudden, LINDA comes running out of nowhere from thekitchen, hearing a familiar name.

LINDARhonda Diamanto? Who said RhondaDiamanto?

TINAI did. Shes directing a play atour school.

LINDAOh, I love her! I cant believeshes in town! (gasps) Bobby, maybe

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7.

LINDA (contd)you could have her try one of yourburgers!

BOBI still dont know who this "RhondaDiamanto" is.

LINDAOnly the most popular femaleBroadway director and playwright!She wrote and directed "AtlanticGirls" and "How I Didnt Meet YourFather"!

GENEThose plays were phenomenal!

TINAWow, I didnt know she was that big

of a deal. Now I have a betterchance at making it into a thetheatre scene.

LINDAYoure going to go and audition forRhondas next big project? (Gasps)Oh my god, my little baby has aBroadway dream! Oh, you can useyour experience from the time wemade this place into a dinnertheatre for this! Oh my goodnessIm feeling so giddy right now,

haha! A Belcher is going to make itbig!

LOUISEYeah, you can add that failed actto your sad resum, Tina! Rhondaseems like a girl who loves a goodtragedy.

GENEAnd with our family history, wecould sell out an entire theatrewith our life stories! Well be thesaddest millionaires!

BOBWith a name that big, I could giveher one of my burgers. You know,since Tina wants to be part of herschool play.


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8.

LINDAYeah!

LOUISEIf she doesnt screw up.

TINAIve never auditioned for a playbefore, but I feel like Ill dojust fine... Hopefully.

LINDAYou know, Tina, I did some theatreback in high school! I was onceLady MacBeth as a sophomore andHelen in "Hey! Capella!" in mysenior year! I remember my solo!

BOB

Please dont.

LINDA(singing)

Take off your shoes and take offyour pants! Just lie on your bedand give it a chance! Lazy is athing youd love to be! Forgetabout priorities, its neverbothered me!

BOBStop.

LINDA(continues singing)

School is a drag, oh, hand me abarf bag! Math is obsolete andscience class has me beat!

BOBStop!

LINDAOh, go stuff your mouth with cottonballs, "Mister I Hate Theatre".

TEDDYI loved that play.

LINDAOh, wasnt it great?


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9.

TEDDYSure was! I got to see it onBroadway a long time ago.

LOUISEEnough with theatre! Thats all

Ive been hearing about all day!

Linda walks up to Tina, placing a hand on her shoulder.

LINDAEven if you dont get a role, bigwhoop! Just remember, sweetie, thatthey only wouldnt pick you becauseyoure too good for those suckers!

TINAOkay.

LOUISEYeah, if you dont get chosen youcan still go to the play and mockthe hell out of the ones that didget a role. Nothing passes the timebetter than a good envy exercise.Though, even if youre not envious,you can still enjoy a good riffing,especially when it comes to riffinga live performance. (Pondering) Youknow what? Maybe the theatreexperience might be good forsomething after all...

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - DAY

TAMMY is seen on stage, singing beautifully as she showsemotion to the song. The judges jot down notes as she beltsher singing voice, which is strong. RHONDA DIAMANTO glancesat Tammy, giving her a pleased smile. As the song ends,Tammy bows to the judges.

TAMMYThank you very much. Have a greatday!

Tammy walks her way off of the stage, spotting Tina.

TINANice performance, Tammy.


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10.

TAMMYOh, Im sorry! I couldnt hear youover the silent judgmental remarks.Why are you even here?

TINA

Why not be here?

TAMMYI was born to be a star! Unlikeyou, who was born to be somemasculine carpenter working in woodshop until you die!

TINATechnically, I was sort of born tohelp my father out at hisrestaurant.

TAMMYWhatever! The point is youre NOTstar material! See you at thechopping block, Ti-NOT.

TINAIts Tina.

TAMMYDont care!

Tammy walks away, flipping her hair along the way out of theauditorium. Meanwhile, Jimmy Jr. walks alongside with Zeke.

TINAHi, Jimmy Jr.! Best of luck on youraudition! Im sure youll do greatout there!

JIMMY JUNIORThanks, Tina.

ZEKEHes gonna get his dance on!

TINALike Im not aware. Break a leg!(pause) Not that I want you tobreak your leg.

Jimmy Junior and Zeke walk their way up to the stage.


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11.

RHONDAName, please?

JIMMY JUNIORJimmy Pesto, Junior.

RHONDA(to Zeke)And who are you?

ZEKENames Zeke. Im just a stand-infor my buddy here.

RHONDAUh, okay? Take this script in frontof you and turn to page fifteen.You will be reading a scene fromthe male lead, Denes. Our other

judges will read the other linesfrom other characters for you.

Jimmy Junior flips to the appropriate page.

JIMMY JUNIORIs there a dance compartment withthis audition?

RHONDA(ignores Jimmy Junior)

Are you ready?

JIMMY JUNIOROh, sorry. Yes, I am.

RHONDAIll read the first line of thescene. (gets in character) "Oh,Denes! I have the perfect idea forour dance number!"

JIMMY JUNIOR"What is it?"

RHONDA"I was listening to the latest songon the radio and it lured me into awonderful dance."

JIMMY JUNIOR"Lend me a dance number!"


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12.

RHONDA"Hold me gently and dance to thebeat and you can lead me!"

JIMMY JUNIOR"One, two, three, four, twirl, andlean back!"

RHONDA"Oh, wow. You really are a greatdancer. And your touch. So soft."

A FEMALE JUDGE reads for another female character.

FEMALE JUDGE"Oh, Adelaide! Your father will behome shortly. I expect you at thedinner table in ten minutes!"

JIMMY JUNIOR

"Alas, I shall depart to rid youfrom trouble."

RHONDA"Will I see you tomorrow?"

JIMMY JUNIOR"In time."

RHONDA(out of character)

Alright, so now, give me animpromptu song if you feel like it.

JIMMY JUNIORI have an alternative.

Jimmy Junior hands one of the judges a CD to dance music hehas rehearsed for. As the music plays, Jimmy Junior startsto excitedly dance all over stage. Tina, from behind thecurtain, peeks at his performance.

TINA(to herself)

Hes such a great dancer. I know

hell do just great.

GENELook at those legs go!

TINAI wonder how he even has the energyto do that.


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13.

LOUISEIts called "Wrestling with Zeke."

TINAYou have a point.

As Jimmy Junior jumps a twirl across stage, he lands ontohis feet, shuffling and performing a toe touch as he slidesonto the stage floor. His dancing synchronizes with themusic, along with Zekes cheering. Jimmy Junior positionshimself center stage on one knee. The music stops, and Zekeempties the basket of confetti by throwing the confettiupward, holding the bucket with two hands, with a grin onhis face. Jimmy Junior quickly catches his breath as heholds his position. The judges clap at his performance.

RHONDAThank you, Mr. Pesto.

JIMMY JUNIORThank you!

Jimmy Junior and Zeke walk off stage. Tina walks toward thestage as the last person to audition.

TINAYou did a great job out there!

JIMMY JUNIORThanks. Good luck to you too.

TINA

Oh, thanks!

Tina walks to center stage, looking nervously at the judges.

RHONDAName, please?

TINATina Belcher.

RHONDAOkay! Since youre the last personto audition, Ill only have yousing this round. Ill give you aproduction song.

Tina is handed a script with the song called "Love InTrouble." An instrumental piece starts playing, with Rhondapointing at Tinas cue.


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19.

GENE(cuts Louise off)

Oh, I like the sound of that! Justthe two of us! Taking on the worldwith our sharp wit and my sharpsounds!

Gene starts performing an acapella beat.

LOUISE(annoyed)

Great...

RHONDAAnyway, we have five minutes untilrehearsal actually starts. See youthere, Tina!

TINA

Okay, see you there! Though I mightneed to faint for a couple of moreminutes, but Ill be there!

LOUISEOh no, youre not fainting! Youregulping down ice water!

Louise hands Tina an ice cold bottle of water. Tina opensthe bottle and gulps down a good amount, wiping her mouthwith her arm.

TINA

I had no idea you cared so much,Louise. What a nice change ofheart.

CUT TO:

The cast of the play is sitting along the stage. Studentsinteract with each other. We see Zeke and Jimmy Juniorstriking up a conversation.

ZEKE(focused on Rhondas chest)

(nudges Jimmy Junior) Hey, J-Ju!You see that over there? THOSE areboobs!

JIMMY JUNIOR(slightly aggravated)

(Sighs) Not this again.


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20.

ZEKEHell yeah! Just look at em!

Suddenly, Rhonda approaches to her cast with a clipboard inhand, along with scripts for the speaking roles.

RHONDA

Hello, everyone! I just want tocongratulate you all for making itthis far! For the next month, wellbe rehearsing for this wonderfulplay! In case you dont know meyet, Im Rhonda Diamanto! Im avery well-known broadway directorand playwright. I was born andraised in this city, and after highschool, I went to one of thenations most comprehensive artschools in New York to receive mybachelor degree for both theatre

and english! I graduated Summa CumLaude and I received a masters inplaywriting in Los Angeles.

As Rhonda continues to talk about her life story, Zeke leanstoward Jimmy Junior, and whispers.

ZEKEShes definitely a 36D.

JIMMY JUNIOR(quietly)

Shh! Now now, Zeke.

RHONDAAnyway, Im super excited to workwith each and every one of you!Does anyone have any questions?

Zeke raises his hand. Rhonda points to him.

ZEKEOh... Nevermind. I forgot.

RHONDA

I almost forgot! Our main cast willhave to stay at least an hourlonger than everyone else! We haveso much to go through, that we haveserious scenes to cover. But first,were going to have a table read,so lets set up these tables overthere and then well call it atthat!


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21.

INT. APARTMENT - EVENING

Linda is in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes fromdinnertime. It is just she and Tina in the kitchen.

LINDA

(multitasking)So, Tina! How was your first day onstage?

TINAWe just did a table read. It wasfun! I got the female lead.

Linda gasps in surprise, almost causing her to break aplate.

LINDAYou did?! Oh my god,

congratulations!

Linda runs up to Tina in a tight, motherly hug. Tina hugsher back lightly. She is still in the hug.

TINAThanks, mom. Its going to be fun.I still cant believe RhondaDiamanto, out of all people,considered me.

LINDAAlright! Theres my broadway star!

As Linda lets go of Tina in the hug, Gene and Louise areholding an interesting conversation with each other.

LOUISEOkay look, if you want to be mypartner for thing, you really needto change the way you do your... Idont know... "comedic style", ifthats what you call it.

GENEI call it many things; although,Ive been using "the style formallyknown as Gene" for a good week orso!

LOUISERight. Well, I know the wholestraight man/goofy sidekick thinghas its benefits, but if youre

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23.

LOUISE (contd)attempts of fart humor outstays itswelcome under the first minute!

GENEListen, when I do my fart material,

I make them last, making them agelike a fine, gassy wine!

LOUISEYeah, well with that sort of poortiming and questionable decisions,youre one away from being ahumorless hound.

GENEHey! For your information, I wouldwork well with a talking dog! Wecould be renegade cops, where our

bark is AS bad as our bite!

Gene plays the dog sound onto his keyboard twice.

LOUISELook, enough with this. Do you wantmy help or not?

GENEHmmmmm... Okie dokie! But if thisworks, I want top billing.

Gene put out his hand for a handshake.

LOUISE(laughs half-heartedly)

No way in hell are you getting topbilling, but Ill be sure your namefont is somewhat the same size asmy title if you can actuallyimprove. With where you are atknowing, any improvement is a goodone at this point.

Louise shakes Genes hand in agreement.

INT. AUDITORIUM - AFTERNOON

It is toward the end of rehearsals for the day and peopleare eager to call it as that.


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24.

RHONDAOkay, everyone! Thats a wrap! Makesure to remember that we DO haverehearsal tomorrow afternoon! Sametime, same place! And dont belate! (pause) Tina, Jimmy Junior.

The two approach Rhonda, confused.

TINAYes?

RHONDAI need you two to stay here for abit longer. Were going to need togo over some choreography.

JIMMY JUNIORSweet! Ive been waiting for this

day to come.

RHONDAI get the assumption that you loveto dance, right?

JIMMY JUNIORDancings my passion. I live todance!

Jimmy Junior strikes a dance, along with a pose.

TINA

Hes an amazing dancer.

RHONDAI can tell. He makes the perfectDenes! A dancer with a heart ofgold and the sophistication of anoble king. And you, Tina, get todance with him!

TINA(under her breath)

Yes.

Rhonda glances over to Tina, who is in a dreamy state.

RHONDAAre you okay, Tina?

Tina snaps out of her dreamy state.


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25.

TINAHuh? Oh yeah. Im fine.

RHONDAOkay, turn to Act One, Scene Six.Start from the top. Feel free toskim through your lines in case you

need a refresher.

Jimmy Junior flips through the pages, anxious about notknowing half of his cues. He starts mumbling the lines tohimself and memorizing his cues. As Jimmy Junior finishesmemorizing, he slams the script down.

JIMMY JUNIOROkay, got this!

RHONDAStart when youre ready, Adelaide!

Tina gets into character, taking a deep breath before goinginto her theatrical behavior.

TINA"Denes! Where have you been? Itsthree in the afternoon! (grabsDenes face) Oh, your eyes! Theyredilated! You werent out drinkingagain, were you?"

JIMMY JUNIOR"Adelaide, you dont have to be souptight! You know a night in the

tavern is a night to unwind!"

TINA"But it doesnt matter! The dancecompetition is next week! How couldyou do this to me?"

JIMMY JUNIOR"Im fine, Ti- Adelaide! I just hada little too much!"

TINA"A little too much could havekilled you, Denes! You know howmuch I care!"

JIMMY JUNIOR"Let me tell you a thing about-"

Jimmy Junior struggles with his monologue.


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26.

RHONDAIs everything alright?

JIMMY JUNIOROh! Yeah... Just a bit of a mix-up.

RHONDA

Okay! Take your time.

Jimmy Junior sighs, and tries to get back into character.

JIMMY JUNIOR"Let me tell you a thing about-(pause) Let me tell you a thingabout the tavern! My father wouldalways remind me to follow hisfootsteps (pause) and I remember hetold me, Son, one day, you shallwalk in that tavern as a man fullof confidence! And when you get to

my--"

TINA(becomes frustrated)

Dont tell me you forgot yourmonologue.

RHONDAJimmy Junior, I know how hard it isto memorize a monologue, and ittakes time, but I have to agreewith Tina on this one.

JIMMY JUNIORI have a job working at my dadsrestaurant and its kind of hard tomanage my time.

RHONDAUnderstandable. Okay, I guess wecan skip to the dance scene fortoday. Do you at least have thatchoreography memorized?

JIMMY JUNIOR

Dont you doubt it.

RHONDAGet in position. Denes, lureAdelaide into your arms.

Jimmy Junior wraps his arm around Tinas waist with a smirkon his face. Tina, on the other hand, feels her cheeks heatup from how close she was to him.


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27.

TINA(to herself)

Whoa.

RHONDACueing the music!

The music starts to play and Jimmy Junior twirls Tinaaround. She tries to snap into character.

JIMMY JUNIOR"You know, Adelaide, your eyesshimmer like the stars in the sky."

TINA"Your dancing... It puts me in sucha state of melting. My heart isracing."

Jimmy Junior continues to lead the dance, but he was notnecessarily following his dance that he was supposed tomemorize. He drops Tina onto the ground, to which she fallson her butt, free dancing to the music. He gets up on achair to get up on a table, leaping down to the stage. Tinastarts to become more frustrated.

JIMMY JUNIORIm doing it! Im dancing like noones watching!

Jimmy Junior leaps over Tina before she gets up, making herangrier. She sighs in frustration, getting up from the stage

floor, wiping her skirt with her hands.

TINA(shouting)

Wait! Hold up! Stop the music!Jimmy Junior, what are you doing?

Rhonda turns off the music. She seems worried.

RHONDAIs everything okay?

JIMMY JUNIORWhoa, Tina. I was doing what I hadto do, and that was dancing myheart out!

Jimmy Junior jump twirls in the air.


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30.

RHONDA (contd)

of story is just not that freshanymore! Though, now that I thinkabout it, perhaps I know what wecan do with this play so that wecan both benefit from this show...

TINAWhat would that be?

RHONDAIm going to rewrite this suckerand I want you to help me.

TINA(pleasantly surprised)

You want me to... Help you rewritethe play?

RHONDAOf course! Tina, youre the star ofthe show and a personal favorite ofmine! Youre going to become famoussomeday! Fame, Tina! Fame!

TINA(to herself)

Fame. Just think about it. TinaRuth Belcher written in lights.Scrolling on a marquee with endlesspaparazzi.

CUT TO:

BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE

A black limousine pulls up to a red carpet. A door lightlyswings open as Tina steps her foot out of the door. She isseen wearing a dress with a white feather boa and a grandtiara on her head. Tina steps out of the limousine whileendless cameras flash before her every eyes. Then, she walksdown the red carpet with a smile on her face. The screamingfans beg for her autograph, to which Tina proudly gives ontothe paper. She blows kisses to the fans before she

approaches Jimmy Junior, who is waiting for her at the door.After she approaches him, he kisses her hand.

RHONDA (V.O)Tina?

Tina looks up to Jimmy Junior in a white tuxedo and blackbow tie. She clutches her arms around his arm.


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32.

TINA (contd)becoming the magician. There wassome drama, but we made up. I toldhim to thank my lips when he won agift card to a magic shop nearby,only to find out hedance-appeared.

RHONDANo kiss?

TINANot even a peck.

RHONDAIm sorry to hear. So, what youresaying is... You want morechemistry built between you andJimmy Junior?

TINABig time.

RHONDARomance?

TINADefinitely. You GOT to have romancein this type of situation. Let mealso mention that Ive dabbled abit in writing.

RHONDAReally? Thats totally a plus!Whats your focal point?

TINACreative Writing, but Im alsointerested in broadcast journalism.Maybe from this, I might considerworking as a playwright as well!

RHONDAI love your energy! Lets keep thisthink tank going! What else would

you want in this script?

TINAHorses.

RHONDA(curious)

Horses?


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33.

TINAYes, horses. Lots of them. But...How are we going to get horses inthe auditorium?

RHONDAHave two strong ensemble boys dress

up as a horse!

TINAOh, thats a good idea. JimmyJunior did that for me once inattempt to win my heart againstanother dancer. It was quiteromantic.

RHONDA(laughs)

Oh man! Thats so sweet! What else?

TINAZombies. We have to put in zombies.

RHONDAZombies, huh? Ooh, I love this sortof fantasy twang were doing withthis! Giving me flashbacks to whenI played a zombie in a Thrillerflash mob back in college.

TINAThat mustve been great!

RHONDAOh, it was a blast! What else? Letthose ideas fly, girl!

TINAA change in Tammys character,perhaps as the villianess. Make ita total karma trip for her for whatshes done to me in the past. Nottoo much suffering though, shemight sue, but still, give her ataste of her own medicine.

RHONDAIm going to have to step up hercharacter, but Ill do it. For you.

TINADeal. Hey, do you want to come overfor dinner? Maybe we can talk aboutit at the dinner table!


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34.

RHONDASure! I mean... It is getting late,I dont have plans, and my husbandis on tour with his group ofbroadway friends. Hes in LasVegas!

TINAThat sounds cool! My moms a bigfan of yours and shed love to meetyou!

RHONDANeat! Ill drive by later tonightso we can talk more about therewrite. So, you ready to makeplaywright history? At least forthis school.

Tina thinks about it, then turns to Rhonda with a grin.

TINA(determined)

Ive never been more ready in mylife.

Rhonda offers Tina a high five, only to further it into afist bump.


Tina is making the room tidy as she awaits for Rhonda tomake her appearance in the Belcher apartment.

TINAOkay, everyone! Shell be here in acouple of minutes. I want everyoneto be on their best behavior. (toBob) And dad, keep on being you.

BOB...Well, okay. Im doing that.

TINAGood, youre already doing muchbetter at it.

BOBWhat does that even mean?


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35.

Linda runs in the living room, wearing a semi-dressy outfit,consisting of a sparkly white dress and silver hoopearrings. Her hair contains a headband. She makes a grandappearance.

LINDA

Ooh! Someone tell me how thislooks! Does this outfit make melook theatrical? I feel like Im on42nd Street! Haha!

BOBLinda, why are you wearing that?

LINDAWhy are you such a party pooper?

BOBWere not doing anything special,

Linda. Its just--

LINDA(interrupts Bob)

THE Rhonda Diamanto is coming overto OUR apartment eating OUR food!This is a huge deal, Bobby!

BOBOkay, Im going to go back in thekitchen now.

Bob walks back to the kitchen as Gene and Louise walk in,

giving Tina the opportunity to remind Gene of something.

TINAGene, I just wanted to remind youthat Rhonda Diamanto is coming overand I dont want you to humiliateyourself or anyone else at thedinner table.

Before Gene could respond to Tina, Louise interrupts.

LOUISEI can handle this for good olGene, am I right, Gene? We havestuff to do.

Louise pulls Gene away from Tina.


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INT. LOUISES ROOM - EVENING

Gene is sitting on Louises bed, as various DVDs are laidthroughout the bed. Louise, now dressed in army attire,walks forward to Gene, carrying a miniature DVD player and apointer.

LOUISE(yelling)

ALRIGHT MAGGOT, LISTEN UP!

GENEMaggot? I see myself as a beetle tobe hones-

LOUISE(yelling)

SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!

Gene straightens out of shock, as Louise places the DVDplayer on her table and marches around the room looking Genedead in the eyes.

LOUISEAlright, now we only have about aweek or so before the big dayarrives, and with Tina leading theplay now, we need to be preparedfor whats to come. No longer willwe need to expect the cheesieststory to ever come from a box ofcrackers. We need to throw away

expectations and expect theunexpected! And knowing Tinasprevious line of work, itll befilled with teenage awkwardness andrandom crap as far as we know. Nowadding that to the previous hurdleswe need to go through, this line ofriffing now needs the utmost amountof attention and quick thinking toperfectly execute the right jokesat the right time.

Louise now points the pointer at Gene.

LOUISE (CONTD)You think you got what it takes tobe somewhat funnier than what youwere before, Gene?

Gene salutes to Louise.


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GENEAye aye, captain!

LOUISE...Right... Anyway, what you seebefore you are the most hammiest,

cheesiest, the most schlockiestschlock to ever come from the darkunderbelly of Hollywood. If I knowour sister, about any of thesubject matters of these pieces ofcinematic crap will end up in somecapacity in the play. For the nextweek, we will watch every singleone of these films, while you willbe tasked to write down any jokesto come to mind. At the end of eachDVD chapter of each film, I willreview them and decide if you

succeed or if you need to gothrough the scene again to findbetter material. It is not an easytask ahead, mocking everything inthe film festival I have prepared.But! If you are successful, on thebig day you will become a rough,tough, riffing machine. Are you upfor the challenge?

GENECan we start with "The Invasion ofUranus"? I mean look at it!

Invasion of UR-ANUS?! (laughs) Whocome up with this stuff? Haha!

LOUISE(annoyed)

This is going to be one hellishnight.


Tina lights up some candles in the living room area beforebeing alerted by a few knocks on the door.

TINA(slightly panicking)

Shes here! Shes here! RhondaDiamanto is here!


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LINDAOh my god! Shes here!

TINAIll go answer the door!

Tina runs down the stairs before opening to door to Rhonda.Lying in her arms is a lovely bouquet of flowers of springcolors. Rhonda lightly waves to Tina, handing her thebouquet.

RHONDAHey, Tina! I must be at the rightplace!

Rhonda chuckles as Tina nods.

TINAYes you are. Please! Come in!

After Tina and Rhonda make their way upstairs to the livingroom, Tina smiles as she introduces Rhonda to the rest ofthe family. She places the bouquet of flowers in an empty,water-filled vase.

RHONDAOoh, vanilla scented candles! Ilove that scent!

TINAMrs. Rhonda, you already know Geneand Louise.

GENEHello!

LOUISEHey, Diamanto! Welcome to our comfyhome! Now if you excuse us, Geneand I have some business to attendto.

Louise drags Gene off to her room.

GENEGoodbye!

TINAAnd this is my mom.

Linda comes running in the room excitedly.


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LINDAOh my god, its actually you! (Shehugs Rhonda) I love your work andyour acting and Im so happy youredirecting my daughters play!

Rhonda laughs as she hugs Linda back, patting her on theback.

RHONDAThank you, Mrs. Belcher! I alwayslove meeting my fans!

LINDA(to Bob)

She called me Mrs. Belcher!

Bob sighs in annoyance.

TINAAnd this is my dad. Hes Bob ofBobs Burgers.

BOBHi.

RHONDAHi there!

BOBYou probably saw the restaurantdownstairs. Your event sounds

pretty huge, especially with theproduction taking place at mykidss school.

RHONDADefinitely! So, youre the snazzyBob of Bobs Burgers!

BOBThat, I am... Except, Im notsnazzy. At all.

RHONDAIve heard a lot of great thingsabout your restaurant from thefolks I met around he-.

Linda interrupts Bobs conversation with Rhonda. She runs inholding a photo album in her hands.


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LINDAOoh! Ooh! Rhonda! I found my highschool theatre photo album! Youdont mind singing it, right?

Linda holds a permanent marker, giving it to Rhonda.

RHONDA(raises an eyebrow)

Uh... Sure!

Rhonda signs a page out of Lindas photo album, causingLinda to hug her album, running away with it like an excitedchild.

BOB(huskily whispering)

Shes one of your biggest fans.

RHONDA

Yeah, Ive noticed...

INT. KITCHEN - EVENING

Everyone except for Bob and Linda is sitting at the dinnertable. Prepared on the table are burgers and fries.

LINDAHey, Rhonda! Thought you mightwanted to try some of this wine!

RHONDAOh, sure! Thank you, Mrs. Belcher!But not too much.

LINDAI understand.

Bob pours himself a glass of red wine as he walks up toRhonda. He takes a sip of wine and hands Rhonda the burgerand fries.

BOBWell, here you go. The restaurants

heart and soul, on the house.

RHONDAOh, haha, thank you! Glad tofinally have this chance to trythese burgers out.

Rhonda takes a bite out of a burger, savoring the flavor asshe chews rather slowly. After she swallows, her eyes widen.


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RHONDAWhoa.

BOBSo? How do you think?

RHONDAIts... Its the best burger Iveever had in AGES! The meat, thecheese, the buns, oh its such aperfect harmony of tastes.

BOBWow, Ive never had this sort ofreaction to my burgers before. Iguess maybe since now my daughteris helping you out with the play,maybe we can use the opportunityto-

RHONDAAdvertise your place at the play?Oh my god I was thinking of thesame thing!

BOBWow, seriously? I mean, haha, wowthank you for giving us theopportunity to help us spread theword!

RHONDA

If anything, I should thank you formaking this heavenly meal here. Imean, I can probably advertise thehell out of your place throughoutthe entire run of the play! And toadd on to it, Im giving you allfront row seats! On the house!

LINDAOh my god! And we can come up witha Burger of the Night every singleperformance night!

RHONDAYES! We are definitely goingsomewhere with this!

BOBAnd we can make some seriousprofit! Linda, do you know how muchwe could make from doing this? Just

(MORE)


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TINAWell, to truly understand, you needto imagine the scene at hand. Closeyour eyes.

RHONDA

Haha, okay.

Rhonda puts down the books and closes her eyes.

RHONDA (CONTD)Now what?

TINAImagine, in the distance, an arrayof butts. Butts as far as the eyescould see, each one moving in itsown rhythm. Like a picturesqueseries of waves, painting its own

picture with each crash onto thesandy plains in front of it... Butwith butts. You see it now, Rhonda?

RHONDAYou know what, Im totally seeingit! (She opens her eyes) I dontknow how, but the way you describethat, I can totally picture thisvast area of butt waves! Oh man, bythe time we finish this new script,were going to have such a uniquebroadway piata in our hands! Also,

I love what you did with but withbutts. Cute joke.

TINAWow, Im a poet and I didnt evenknow it. Wait, woah, I did itagain. Weird.

RHONDA(laughs)

Oh Tina you crack me up, haha!Anyway...

Rhonda pulls out a typewriter and a big stack of blankpages, as she cracks her knuckles and prepares to type.

RHONDA (CONTD)Lets make some magic happen!


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44.

MONTAGE

CUT TO:

A song in the vein of Frank Sinatras "Luck Be A Lady": Tinaand Rhonda talk about the way the story would go out, as

Rhonda excitedly types said story out onto the typrwriter.

CUT TO:

Gene watches a B-Movie on Louises DVD player, writing downjokes to go with the scenes. Louise grabs the note pad fromGenes hand, reviews it and then crumbles up the paper intoa ball, throwing it away. She hands the pad back to adisappointed Gene.

CUT TO:

Tina and Rhonda bring up costume ideas and they consider

acting out some of the scenes, along with highlightingcertain lines of the script to redo. The camera pans up toshow an excited Linda looking over to see Rhonda perform herplaywright magic.

CUT TO:

Louise pointing at various scenes of a different movie, andGene observes them while taking notes to himself in hopes tohelp him out with writing better jokes.

CUT TO:

Tina, Rhonda and Linda are all dressed up and performing agoofy bit based from the play. All three are laughing whiledoing it.

CUT TO:

Louise looks over at all the notes Gene had jotted down andreviewing the film, with a concerned Gene off to the corner.Louise then turns to Gene, serious at first, but thenrevealing a smile as she gives Gene a thumbs up, and Genedoes a little celebratory dance.

CUT TO:

Rhonda finishes up typing the script, as Tina grabs the pageand puts it to the big stack to the left of the typewriter,as Tina triumphantly picks up what could be considered thefinal draft of the script.

END MONTAGE


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48.

JIMMY JUNIOR"Damn the luck. These zombies aretoo strong! Well never escape fromtheir clutches at this rate."

TINA"Perhaps, theres a weakness to

these zombies. I mean, theyrealready dead, so its not liketheyre invincible!"

ZOMBIE KID"We have no weaknesses. Were onhorses!"

JIMMY JUNIOR(sort of in character)

"Damm it all, theyre right! Oh,why did these zombies form analliance with the horse army? Now

we might never make it out ofhere!"

CUT TO:

It is the end of rehearsals as Jimmy Junior goes to grab hisstuff. Before he makes an exit, Rhonda goes up to JimmyJunior with some notes.

RHONDAHey, Jimmy Junior. Are thingsalright? You seemed pretty angryearlier today.

JIMMY JUNIORI guess Im doing better. But... Itjust hurts knowing Ive studiedsomething only to find out thattheres different material.

RHONDAYeah, I know that feeling. But hey,good job with the scenes so far!Keep up the good work beforeopening night!

JIMMY JUNIORWell, I wouldve done better if thescript didnt end up changing on meout of nowhere, but thanks.

As Jimmy Junior walks out of the auditorium, Tina feels abit of disappointment, causing her heart to sink a little,having some of the blame of the sudden change in scripts.


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BOBSo, are you going tomorrow night?

Mr Fischoeder places his smartphone into his front shirtpocket. He suddenly becomes confused.

MR FISCHOEDERTomorrow night? (He looks at theposter) Oh, thats right! What wasI thinking? (He sees RhondaDiamantos name) Oh, Mrs. RhondaDiamanto is directing?

BOBYeah, she is.

MR FISCHOEDERAh, I remember Rhonda. I actuallyhad an opportunity to talk with her

in person after her broadway debut.What is she doing with yourfacility?

BOBPromotion.

MR FISCHOEDERYou know, Bob, Rhonda doesntalways guarantee you one hundredpercent of the cut.

BOB

I knew that.

MR FISCHOEDERShe calls for ten percent of theprofit each night!

BOBI already know, Mr Fischoeder.

MR FISCHOEDERBetter get going! Oh, also, yourrent is due at the end of themonth. This play would have youpaying me two, maybe three monthsrent! Youve taken an opportunityand ran with it, Bob! So write thatin your reminder book!

BOBYeah, okay, I think I already havethat in my mind.


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53.

GENEWoo Woooo! All aboard the rifftrain!

CUT TO:

Meanwhile, Bob is lugging the ingredients, along with aminiature chalkboard into the trunk of the car. Linda holdsan ice chest full of condiments and hamburger buns.

BOBWow, I still cant believe RhondaDiamanto is letting us promote ourburgers! For free even!

LINDAAnd she gave us front row seats!

BOB

Maybe this theatre game isnt sobad after all.

They place the items in the trunk of the car.

LINDAYou see? I knew you were going towarm up to the whole idea! Now,Bobby, just remember that youreonly going to serve burgers beforethe performance, duringintermission, and a little afterthe show. You know, because some

people may want a bite to eat ontheir way home!

BOBI know, Linda, I have everythingprepared on that front. Hopefullytonights premiere is a full house,wouldnt want any of these pattiesto go to waste.

LINDAIm sure youll be fine,Bobby! Im going to go get Geneand Louise. We need to be there twohours before the show starts toprepare. (She belts fromdownstairs) Gene! Louise! We haveto get goin!


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54.

LOUISE (V.O.)(yelling)

Almost done!

GENE (V.O.)(yelling)

I have to pee!

LINDA(yelling)

Alright! Hurry it up!

EXT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - AFTERNOON

The car comes to a stop as Bob parks the car. They all getout of the car, with Bob opening up the trunk.

BOB

Okay, I want everyone to carry atleast one thing. We have to set up.(to Linda) I cant believe Mr.Frond is actually letting us dothis. I never thought hed say yes.

LINDAYou can thank Rhonda for doing allof this for the restaurant!

BOBBut, of course! I cant believe sheset up a stand and everything.

Rhonda sees Bob and Linda at the concession stand.

RHONDAMister and Mrs. Belcher! Im soglad I ran into you two! Howsbusiness?

BOBWe just got here not too long,actually. How would you like to beour first customer?

RHONDASure!

BOBAre you considering trying ourBurger of the Day? Its calledthe "Fyrano de Burgerac" burger.


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55.

RHONDAOoh! Mr. Belcher, have Itheatrically inspired you?

Bob finished cooking his first round of burgers, placing thepatty onto the bun, dressing it accordingly.

BOBHere you go! On the house! Oh, isthere a full house?

RHONDAMe. Belcher, please! You dont haveto do this! And yes! We definitelydo have a full house! Weve soldout!

LINDABut you gave us front row seats!

This ones on us!

RHONDAI insist. Take this ten! Keep thechange!

LINDAWe dont want your money!

BOBCome on, Mrs. Diamanto. Youve doneso much for us. Keep your money.

RHONDAAw, come on! You two are way toosweet! Also, thank you so much forhelping us out, Mrs. Belcher. Yourfeedback was much needed during thethinking process.

LINDA(gasps) You did?! Oh, it was mypleasure!

RHONDAYou should consider going Broadway!We could use more actresses withyour energy and spirit!

LINDAOh, Id love to! You really thinkso?


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59.

BOB (CONTD)Tinas writing this? Oh no.

LINDAI thought you already knew thatTinas the new writer for this?

BOBI was in heaven for all of the helpRhonda did for us that I almostforgot about that fact, Linda.Crap, intermission is going to behell, I can feel it.

LINDAOh relax, Bobby, Tina will do fine!

LOUISE(to Gene)

Now, Gene, this show goes on theroad in about fifteen minutes.

GENEThis is so nerve wrecking! Theanxiety is building up! I dontknow if I can do it, Louise.

LOUISEBut you told me you were more readythan ever!

GENE

But I was wrong! Ive been fartingfor the past ten minutes!

Louise picks up the scent of Genes farts, causing her tocover her nose with the top of her dress.

LOUISEUgh, Gene! How come you didnt tellme this earlier?

GENEI thought you wouldnt notice!

LOUISEThat is so disgusting!

GENESorry!


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60.

INT. BACKSTAGE - EVENING

The cast is in a room backstage as Rhonda walks into theroom, feeling confident as shes ever felt.

RHONDA

Okay, gang! Tonights the night! Itonly seems like yesterday we met atthe table read! So before we getstarted, I just wanted to-

Jimmy Junior runs in the backstage room in costume, tryingto catch his breath.

JIMMY JUNIOR(panting)

Sorry, Im late! Had something totake care of.

RHONDAThats okay. As I was saying, Ijust wanted to tell you all thatyour hard work has paid off. I knowwe only had a little bit of time toprepare, but I am flabbergastedwith how amazing this turned out tobe.

Tammy walks up to Rhonda without makeup on her face. It wasa sight.

TAMMY

Sorry Mrs. Diamond, I think Imgoing to have to go natural forthis run. I had some complicationswith my makeup.

Tammy turns to Tina, giving her a mean glare. Tina givesback a careless facial expression.

RHONDATammy, for the last time, itsDiamanto! Di-a-man-to!

TAMMYBut this is big! My makeup has beensabotaged!

RHONDAOkay, okay! Just grab some makeupover there and apply it yourself!We start in five minutes!


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Tammy sees a box full of complimentary unopened makeupnearby. Tammys eyes opened wide. Tina gets a bit annoyed.

TAMMYThank you so much! I needed that!Youre a lifesaver!

Rhonda finished where she started.

RHONDAAny questions before we start?(pause) Good! Okay, now hands in!

INT. AUDITORIUM - EVENING

The lights begin to slowly dim, signaling a start to theshow. But before the actual start, Rhonda walks up on stage.A spotlight reflects her shadow.

RHONDAHello, guests of all ages! Whatyoure about to see is a quest oflove and the need of freedom. Abouttwo people in love, finding it inthe worst of situations! For thenext two hours, you will follow theplot of a story of what turns outto have a fairytale ending... Or,we hope so! So please, for respectof all of the actors and thedirector, please turn off all cellphones, beepers, or any other noise

makers and enjoy the show!

The lights are dimmed off as the guests are built withanticipation. The overture music starts to play, which isboth dramatic and overpowering. As the music plays, Louisegives Gene one last bit of advice.

LOUISE(whispering)

Here we go! Get ready for thistrain wreck!

GENE(whispering)

Aye aye!

LOUISE(whispering)

Just remember! None of thosefirst-grade level jokes.


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GENE(whispering)

Gotcha (He gives Louise two thumbsup)!

As the overture music fades out, Tinas voice fills the

room. The room remains dark, without a hint of light.

TINA (V.O.)"The year is 3035 A.D. The worldhas become such a barren place.Civilizations have fallen, stateshave become corrupted, and worse ofall, romance has become outlawed.Nobody could truly date anymore,and if some were spotted showingtrue love, they would be banishedto the outlands, where they have tosurvive the harsh fields infested

by zombies riding on horseback,which are pretty quick and hard tooutrun. Though because of theunlawful ban of true romance, therehas been a group of renegadecouples, hoping to fight off theoppression and be able to have truelove conquer all once more. Leadingthe resistance are two couples,both with their flaws but bothbenefit from each other andtogether they would do theimpossible. That couple, would be

Denes... and Adelaide."

The lights shine onto Jimmy Junior, alone with the sceneryfull of dull life; although it was full of vibrance. Withoutlove, it had not been the same.

JIMMY JUNIOR"The sun rises to the west, sets tothe east. What kind of world do welive in? One without..."

GENE (V.O.)A proper screenwriter!

JIMMY JUNIOR"...true love."

Tina makes her way onto stage, looking around as she sees afigure stand before her eyes.


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TINA"Are you seeking true love as well?For I am Adelaide."

JIMMY JUNIOR"Denes." (He shakes her hand.)

LOUISE (V.O.)Though you can call me Dense if youwant!

JIMMY JUNIOR"Ever since the ban of true love in2485, there had been nothing butchaos."

TINA"We shall take a chance, no matterwhat the consequences are!"

GENEIncluding the play gettingcanceled?

TAMMY (V.O.)"Halt!"

Tina turns to Tammy in character.

TINA"Omusa, what brings you here?"

Tammy walks on stage with a strong character personalitybecause of what happened earlier. She is seen as a hot mess,with her makeup slightly off due to the fact that it wasnt"her" makeup.

LOUISE (V.O. AS TAMMY)It was raining outside and thebeauty show was canceled.

TAMMY"Take your filthy hands off mybrother at once, you unculturedwench!"

GENE (V.O.)Wrenches have culture?

TINA"But dont you understand? We aremeant to be together!"


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66.

BOBSo many people here! I cantbelieve how high demand theseburgers are.

LINDA

Yeah, I know! And we only havefifteen minutes until this showgoes on again.

BOBI have to admit, Tina did a greatjob on stage.

LINDAAnd I thought she had stage fright!Rhonda Diamanto has gotten herfeeling great!

BOBI wonder how shes doing.

INT. DRESSING ROOM - EVENING

Once again, Tina was lucky enough for the room to be empty.She had approached Tammys new makeup, eying at it.

TINA(to herself)

If Plan A didnt work, then Plan Bmight...

Tina gathers up all of Tammys foundation out of the makeupkit, throwing the square cotton swab away. She then takesTammys much needed eyeshadow and puts a drop of eyesolution into each color, moistening the eye makeup. Lastly,she dipped her lipstick into a bottle of water, stirring itinto the liquid.

TINA (CONTD)Shell never know.

A door suddenly opens, hearing a familiar voice.

TAMMY (V.O.)I have to apply a second coat ofmakeup! Ill be right back!

TINA(to herself)

Oh, crap!


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JIMMY JUNIOR"Not yet... We still have one morebattle to go through."

LOUISE (V.O. AS DENES)The person who thought this was a

good idea for a play!

JIMMY JUNIOR(under his breath)

"Omusa..."

GENE (V.O.)Gesundheit!

Tammy, furious about having her make-up ruined again, comesin with fury as a total mess: Hair all frazzled and hermake-up all washed out. She stares at both Jimmy Junior andTina with fire in her eyes, but surprisingly she stays in

character.

LOUISE (V.O.)Finally, she becomes a werewolf! Iwas wondering when Tina would writethat in.

TAMMY"YOU! YOU DARE RETURN TO THIS CITYAS PARTNERS!"

JIMMY JUNIOR"Yes we did. As you can see, true

love conquers all!"

GENE (V.O.)Unless it involves taxes!

TAMMY"SILENCE! You might have survivedthe outlands, you saps, but youwill not last under my fury!Especially YOU, Adelaide..."

TINA"What about me?"

TAMMY(somewhat in character)

"Oh, dont you think I didnt knowabout what you did, Adel. I knowyou wanted me to fail ever sinceday one!"


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Meanwhile, from the stage wing, Rhonda flips through thescript. She looks at the stage, and looks back at herscript. She raises an eyebrow.

RHONDA(to herself)

That wasnt part of the script...

TINA(somewhat in character)

"Well Omusa, I didnt come in withthat intention, but ever since yourattitude adjustment about it, Icouldnt help but to turn into theperson you wanted me to be."

LOUISE (V.O.)The Real Housewives of 3035 AD!

TAMMY"Oh, dont try to make me laugh,Adel! You were always jealous of meand my perfections. You know thatyou were never born to be withDenes! Hell never be your truepartner!"

TINA(angrier, but still somewhatin character)

"Look, I didnt want to go throughall of this with that much trouble.

I wanted to come into this with anhonest heart, to win Denes by myown efforts. You, on the otherhand, were all at fault foreverything you have. If you werentsuch a bitch, perhaps none of thiswouldve ever happened!"

TAMMY"Playing the blame game, huh? Ohhow predictable! Honey, you willnever understand "true love". Youwill always be lost in your ownfantasy world, wishing foreverything to be all sunshine,lollipops, and rainbows with yourprecious "Denes". You think Im thebitch, Adel? The truth is,realitys a bitch, especially. To.YOU!"


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73.

continues to applaud as Tina glances over to Jimmy Juniorwith a smile on her face. Jimmy Junior could not help butexchange the same look. Without warning, Tina went ahead andhugged Jimmy Junior in the spotlight. She was in completebliss knowing that this was real life.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

The cast is in the cast backstage room once again for onemore meeting with Rhonda.

RHONDAWow. I... You guys... I amspeechless for how wonderfully youall have turned this play to be! Iknow there are some things that gotout of control, but I have to handit to you all! That acting was

pure! I loved it! You guys are freeto go. One night down, six to go!

As the cast minds their own business, Tina looks around theroom for Jimmy Junior; he is not seen anywhere. Tina becomesworried and runs out of the door.

INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - NIGHT

Tina runs her way into the hallways, not seeing Jimmy Junioranywhere. It had not been long since the curtain call, butshe wanted to talk with Jimmy Junior once more before

calling it a night. Little did she know, Jimmy Junior wasntaware of Tinas shadow, and neither was Tina. This resultedin them bumping into each other. Luckily, they did not hurtthemselves.

TINAOh my god, Jimmy Junior! Im sosorry! I didnt mean to bump intoyou!

JIMMY JUNIORNo, Tina. I should be sorry. Foreverything. I felt like such a jerkduring rehearsals all those times.

TINANo, you werent! You did an amazingjob tonight! You were the star.


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JIMMY JUNIORBut you were the one who kickedTammys butt out there. Your actingwas golden compared to mine!

TINA(laughs heartedly)

Yeah... I guess that natural actingjust comes out at a random time, Iguess... (She looks at the bouquetof roses) Are those for me?

Jimmy Junior feels his face heat up, blushing. He looks downat the roses.

JIMMY JUNIOROh, uh... Yeah. Yeah they are.

He smiles as he hands them over to Tina. She places theflowers to her nose, taking a sniff. The scent was still

fully there, due to the roses being in a cool place for aduration of time.

TINATheyre lovely, Jimmy Junior. Justlike you. Youre too sweet.

JIMMY JUNIORAw shucks.

TINAIm sorry for losing it when youhad no idea what your lines were. I

was having such a rough day, that Ilost all of my sanity.

JIMMY JUNIORI understand, Tina. Hey, I justwanted to remind you how great youlook in your outfit.

TINAI wanted to say the same about you.That suit really does suit you.(She chuckles)

JIMMY JUNIORI really think youve done aphenomenal job out there. I cantthank you enough for working withme when I needed it. Youre a greatperson, Tina, and thats what Ireally like about you.


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TINAYou... Like something about me?

Jimmy Junior places his hands onto Tinas waist, causingTina to drop the roses onto the ground due to what situationshe was in with him. Tina lightly places her hands on his

chest.

JIMMY JUNIOR(whispering)

Yeah.

TINA(soft-spokenly)

Whoa.

JIMMY JUNIORI cannot thank you enough, Tina.

TINA(soft-spokenly)

Dont thank me, Jimmy Junior. ThankAdelaide.

JIMMY JUNIORThanks, Adelaide.

TINAYoure welcome, Denes.

There is a moment between Tina and Jimmy Junior. They focuson each other, looking into each others eyes. The two

suddenly bring themselves closer, with Tinas hands lightlycupping onto Jimmy Juniors face. Jimmy Juniors arms gentlywrap around Tinas waist. The two pucker their lips, leaningin before their lips press against each others in apassion-filled kiss, lasting around ten-fifteen seconds. Thetwo held onto each other after they pulled away.

TINA (CONTD)We should go back.

JIMMY JUNIORYeah...

Tina heads back to the auditorium, only to be alerted byJimmy Junior once more.

JIMMY JUNIOR (CONTD)Hey, Tina!


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78/82

77.

RHONDA(laughs) No need to do that, Tina.In a way, I totally know how youfeel about that. To be honest withyou, when I was your age, I totallywent through the same phase when Iwas in plays. In a way, I had my

own "Tammy" to deal with. What youdid was childs play compared towhat I did.

TINAWow, really? What did you do? Trashher make-up?

RHONDAOne word. Laxatives.

TINAOh wow, seriously?

RHONDAYep. I still feel bad for thejanitors who had to deal with thatmess, though.

Both Tina and Rhonda exchanges a good laugh.

TINAAnyway, Im glad everything turnedout okay, better than how itusually turns out. Especially withJimmy Junior.

RHONDAReally? Wait, are those roses from-

Tina cuts her off mid-sentence.

TINAYep.

RHONDA(excitedly)

Oh my god, seriously?

TINAMmmhmm. Sealed with a kiss too.

RHONDA(feeling giddy)

Oh gosh! Congratulations, Tina! Oh,Im so glad you two are finally onthe same page!


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79.

RHONDA(to Gene and Louise)

I could hear you two from backstageduring some of the quieter parts,especially Gene.

GENE

Loud and proud, sister!

BOBOh my god. Look, Im sorry about myother kids, Rhonda. Hopefully, thatdoesnt sour the deal between thetwo of us.

LINDAEspecially with the fact that wehave more theatre specials wehavent used yet. "Cow on a Hot TinGrill" is a keeper I tell you what,

haha!

RHONDADont worry, Bob. We still haveourselves a deal. Especially withthe great reception we got from theshow because of your daughterswork. We might get that word ofmouth to have a packed house forthe rest of the run!

BOBOh really? Well, thanks! Actually,I was able to get some greatbusiness out of the stand we had.

LINDAAnd its all thanks to our littlestar here!

Linda gives Tina a big hug, which Tina struggles with sothat she doesnt crush the flowers Jimmy Junior gave her. Asshe lets go, the flowers are a bit ruffled, but are stillfine.

TINAThanks, mom. That means a lot.

LINDANot to mention Rhonda here! Oh, Ihave so many things I want you tosign, all sorts of posters andprops. Ooh, you can sign a spatulafor us!


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80.

BOBLinda, no.

LINDAOh, hold on let me grab somethingfrom the car for you to sign!

RHONDA...Uh, take your time, Linda...

Linda bolts to the car. Rhonda turns to Gene and Louise.

RHONDABefore I forget, do you mind if Iask you two something?

LOUISETo shut the hell up in the nextperformance?

GENEIll get the duck tape!

RHONDAActually, Tina and I were talkingbackstage about what you weredoing-

GENEYou were talking about us?!

RHONDA...And we were wondering if you two

would do your bit on the finalnight of the show.

TINAYeah, we can make this a Belchereffort, if you want.

LOUISEOh, wow, this is unexpected, butsure! I can professionally make funof your wor- wait, with Gene? But-

GENE(cuts Louise off)

YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES, MISSDIAMANTO! WELL TAKE IT!

RHONDAIts Diamanto, not Diamond. Wait,you said Diamanto right?


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81.

GENEYep!

RHONDAOh good, I mean great! Glad you twoare on board! Hope you two brush up

your material for the last night!Good luck!

GENEYou hear that Louise? Weve reachedthe big time! Nobody can stop usnow!

LOUISEGreat...

belcher on the roof

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