manners matter

besafeinside your toddler’s brain

5210A somewhat humerous look into your child’s mind

Tyler ISD launches new wellness ed-ucation program alongside Fit City Tyler.

www.besafechild.com

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2 BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012

BeSafe CommunityQ

Dear BeSafe, Recently, my wife and I have had more arguments than usual. Nothing serious, but should our kids see us argue or is it best to

hide it? -AnonymousDear “Anonymous,”This is a great question and one my wife and I have been curious about ourselves. I scoured the online world of information to see what opinions were out there and narrowed it down to a few things that seemed to be consistent.

First, I was intrigued to learn that many relationships that don’t make it, are actually ones where there was no arguing. Well, not so much the arguing, but a least what the expert’s call “healthy conflict.” Some signs that a relationship is struggling might include the inability to express emotion, the inability to communicate with your partner verbally, past experiences that we all use to predict future outcomes (often these can be incorrect) and the desire NOT to engage in conflict. If you are experiencing any of those issues, it might be worthwhile for you to find a family counselor to speak to.

On the note of healthy conflict; I recall the line of a song I’ve heard that says something to the effect of

“sometimes butterflies and rainbows aren’t what move us ahead,” and it reminded me that I grew up thinking that arguing was a sign my parents were doomed. I’ve had to challenge that thought, knowing that there is a difference between arguing and fighting. I encourage you to seek out informatin on engaging in healthy conflict. Precisely, find out how to communicate your needs without name calling, or other unhealthy behaviors.

When it comes to the children, you may have noticed that when you and your wife are arguing, the kids’s mouths are dropped and their eyes are focused on every breath you take. So it is important that you first realize you are on a stage and the audience is watching, which can up the amount of pressure. So here are a few tips to keep it safe: -state your feelings -avoid yelling or raising your voice-avoid wild hand gestures or physical contact during the conversation-avoid name calling, stereotyping, overgeneralizing and sarcasm (kids actually pick this up quite easily)-stay on topic (here and now)-be sure the kids see the resolution. Don’t hide it behind closed doors, that only makes it worse.

editor’s letter

YouCaring.com is a free fundraising website, created for individuals wanting to raise funds for medical expenses, tuition assistance, adoption fundraising, funding for mission trips and other causes. It provides a simple and organized way to implement your fundraiser ideas and help achieve, or exceed your fundraising goals.

The organization does not charge for fundraisers regardless of the amount of money they raise. The site is supported by amazing donors from all over the world. This makes it the only truly free website of its kind.

How has your summer been? Too fast and too hot you say? Our’s too! I must say though that this year’s school supply shopping adventure was much less dramatic than previous years. I am not sure what happened, maybe we just snuck up behind it and jumped it while it wasn’t looking. That’s what I am going to say happened anyway. As we look forward to the fall and all the things it brings like back to school childhood memories and cooler weather, I want to take a moment and share something with you. Recently, my newborn nephew was diagnosed with a very rare disease that will likely leave him without his eyesight. His parents are two very strong people, who have already demonstrated the resilience necessary to navigate the choppy waters that lay ahead.Many of us don’t have that skill though, or the

Chris

issues we face are just so overwhelming that it breaks our spirit. So in this issue of BeSafe, we want to share with you some of the ways you can help friends or family members who are struggling to fi nd their resilience. Maybe that little thing you have to offer will make all the difference in the world.Here are some of the things our family has found helpful:-Eat.Take your friend to lunch and just let them talk. If they don’t want to talk about the issue, that’s fi ne too. The important thing is to connect with the person however it works best.-Don’t Compare. One of our human instincts is to compare our situations to others. But be careful what you share. Don’t scare them with tragic stories. At the same time, I’ve never really found it helpful to tell someone “that’s just life,” either.

In a nutshell, be short in the advice column.-Get involved. If you know of resources that can help someone, do share that information. There are a large number of non-profi t and assistive agencies, both government and community led that provide a tremendous amount of support. - Raise Money. My wife decided to help our family member by starting an online fundraiser. We simply started an account at www.youcaring.com and before we knew it, the site brought in around $3500 from people we knew. These funds paid for their trip to see a specialist for my nephew’s condition.-Volunteer. Whatever it is you have to give, give it. You see, its the giving we all do that builds the resiliency we so desire.

12 Do your friends have a special needs child?

13 Spur your child’s creativity like this

14 Kid’s Draw

15 Back to school safety

16 Meet our Pine Cove winner!

17 Manners DO matter!

On The Cover:

INSIDE

8Create a good night routine for your baby

9Introducing 5210

10

6-7

Jaxson Gauntt, son of Morgan and Jeremy Gauntt Photo courtesy of Morgan Gauntt Photogra-phy

BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012 5

Back to school breakfast ideas

18Unleash the power

of parents

Toddler on the brain

but why daddy?It’s my duty to question everything. I want to know why the world works the way it does. The more you tell me, the more you expose me to things I need to know.

i love playing outsideI know you have had a long day at work and you are hungry. But after dinner, let’s go outside. I learn so much just from playing with butterfl ies, digging in the dirt, looking at leaves with you and catching grasshoppers.

i need you to tell me noAlthough I think I need everything I beg for, I really don’t. Give me my needs, a few wants and all of your love but - don’t give into my every whim just so that I have it better than you did. You are actually stunting my growth.

reconnect with momOne of the healthiest things you can do for me is to be sure you and mom have a healthy relationship. I need to see you hug, hear you talk and be a part of that family time. I want constant attention, but I also need to sit and observe you and mommy solve problems and enjoy each other’s company.

1It’s extremely annoying when he spills his juice on your new

couch, but be careful not to overreact. He doesn’t yet comprehend the value of things. Around age three or so, he believes the world revolves around him. So punishment, sometimes hits harder than you intend. Choose your words carefully, watch hand gestures and facial expressions, but do be consistent with your discipline.

2Why yes, she is testing your pa-tience. Toddlers have learned they

can control their breathing, to some extent, what they eat, often when they sleep and they are most defi -nately testing your responses to their behavior. Take a deep breath before responding out of anger and frustra-tion. They rarely are TRYING to make you upset. But they are learning how to respond by observing you.

3They don’t call it ‘terrible two’s’ for nothing. But it seems to ex-

tend to the three’s, four’s and many argue the 17’s and 18’s. Unfortunate-ly after raising four toddlers myself, I believe this part of life is a necessary evil. And just knowing that, helped me avoid labeling myself or my kids when I dealt with temper tantrums, objects being thrown at me or the sound of “NO!”

5 Things to Remember About Toddlerhood

by Chris Taylor, BeSafe Editor

drawing by Melissa Balmain for Parents Magazine

4You and your children do not ex-ist in a vaccum. Everyone infl u-

ences your children to some extent. Daycare teachers, the kids on the playground, people on television, the math teacher, aunts and uncles and your single friends who come over on weekends. Those can all be great infl uential people, but it’s worth ex-amining to ensure your children have healthy role models beyond you.

5We actually do tend to parent like our own parents. That doesn’t

have to be bad either. But remember that because these were learned behaviors, you often go on auto-pilot and do things as you observed them being done without much thought. So ask your spouse or friends if they see unhealty modeled behaviors and do everything you can do address them. Know when you are on that auto-pilot.

By age three most experts agree that toddler’s

brains have begun developing a large network of

connections and to some extent, those connections

become hard-wired for life. That doesn’t mean that

new pathways cannot be developed, but it’s a lot

easier to build right from the beginning than it is to

deconstruct and rebuild later in life.

I hear parents talk a lot about all of the intellectual

aspects of their child’s development, but I rarely

hear them talk about their child’s social, emotional

or other well-being needs. This has challenged my

parenting approach as well, allowing me to examine

my own skills and abilities. Once, I was standing

in a local book store and overhead a mother on her

cell phone in tears, telling the person on the other

end, “I wish I had been more emotionally avail-

able for my child.” According to Zero to Three, The

National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families,

“The best way to provide an educational program,

or curriculum for toddlers, involves designing a pro-

gram that meets all of their needs, physical, social,

cognitive, emotional and language.”

So my takeaway was to continue to improve their

intellectual learning, but also to fi nd ways to ensure

I was building their self-esteem, their ability to

make friends and so on. And one of the best ways

to do that, is to model the behavior. Television

provides modeling and training as well, but not the

way you might think. Zero to Three also states that

while no notable research has been published on

the specifi c topic of television and brain devel-

opment, it is common knowledge that watching

television affects toddler’s behavior and may even

affect the development of neural pathways. By age

three toddlers are able to name favorite cartoons,

characters and sing along with songs. So, what

behavioral modeling are our kids observing?

BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012 7

Here’s news many sleep-deprived parents will be happy to wake up to. In a recent study led by pedi-atric sleep expert Dr. Jodi Min-dell and JOHNSON’S® Baby, researchers found that the use of a three-step nightly routine resulted in babies not only falling asleep easier, but also sleeping through the night better.

This three-part process consist-ing of bath time, a baby massage and quiet time had babies taking 37 percent less time to fall asleep, sleeping 20 percent longer and showing a 50 percent reduction in night awakenings.

HERE IS HOW IT WORKS:

1. Bath TimeFirst, gather all necessary bath items, including towels, cleansers and washcloths. Splash some of the bathwater on your wrists to be sure the temperature is less than 120° F. You may also choose to purchase a

bath toy that tells temperature by placing it in the bath water before putting baby in. But be care-ful not to rely solely on these devices as product defects can cause injury to the little guy. Use one arm to continually support baby’s head, back and neck, while using your other to lather up your little one with a product like Johnson and Johnson’s Bedtime Bath, developed with Natu-ralCalm, a unique blend of essences proven to contain relaxing properties and warm, comfort-ing notes. A bathtime sling may also be useful so that your hands are free to handle her.

2. MassageAfter drying down baby, lay your baby on a fl at surface and warm lotion in your hands before massaging with gentle, circular touches. Start with the face and work your way down, always maintaining eye contact to help baby remain calm and relaxed. Be sure not to leave baby unat-tended though as bathwater plus lotion equals slippery baby!

3. Quality Quiet TimeNext, ease your little one off to sleep with quality

quiet time together. Read a story, sing a lullaby or just quietly enjoy each other’s warmth. Choose what works for you and your little one, but to ensure that sleep shortly follows, your quiet time shouldn’t exceed 20 minutes.

A Modern ResponseLuckily, modern moms and dads

now have a tool to keep all this at hand. With the recent launch of Johnson and Johnson’s new Bedtime App for iPhone, parents

can track and monitor their baby’s sleep patterns, get their related questions answered by pediat-ric sleep expert Dr. Jodi Mindell, and access a variety of other sleep tools and features such as playable lullabies and a soothing sound mixer.

For more information, visit www.johnsonsbaby.com/bedtime.

Information courtesy of www.napsnet.com8 BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012

Healthy Habits Start with 5210

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Practicing healthy habits starts with 5210, four impor-tant numbers that TISD students are

learning about this school year. The number “5” stands for fi ve servings of fruits and vegetables per day; “2” two hours or less of recreational screen time, including computers and electronic de-vices; “1” is for the minimum number of hours of exercise per day; and “0” for no sugary drinks, more water and low-fat milk. A student who is healthy is more likely to succeed in the classroom, and that is why TISD partnered with Fit City Tyler for the Fit City 5210 program.Fit City 5210 is based on a program many pediatricians use, developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The goal is to encourage children to increase the amount of time they spend

doing a physical activity and to make healthy eating decisions.“Learning how to live a healthy lifestyle starts at a very young age,” Coach Rod Kaspar, TISD Athletic Director, said. “If we can teach our students these habits when they are in elementary and middle school, they will carry the knowledge with them the rest of their lives.”The program includes resources for TISD nurses, PE teachers, coaches, and school administrators so they can support healthy living by pro-viding information to students. Our PE teachers will incorporate the Fit City 5210 program into gym ac-tivities, stressing the importance of daily physical activity; nurses have posters that remind students about eating healthy and our principals are going to include 5210 strategies in

the morning announcements and campus newsletters.“Fit City 5210 is designed to reach our students many differ-ent ways,” Angela Jenkins, TISD representative on the Fit City Tyler steering committee, said. “From the cafeteria, to the class-room, and even outside of school, we want to educate our children on how to make healthy deci-sions so they will grow up to be healthy adults. We hope that stu-dents will bring the information they learn home to their families so they can participate in these healthy choices as well.”We will celebrate the Fit City 5210 program during Fit City Day at Bergfeld Park on Sat-urday, November 3, from 9:00 a.m. to noon.

by RACHEL FROSTTYLER ISD PUBLIC RELATIONS SPECIALIST

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Classes Held Weekly in TylerVisit www.dramakids.com/tx10 for locations and class schedule

1 Regular Bagel, Agave Nectar, Peanut Butter, 1 me-dium banana

Directions: Toast bagel as desired. Spread peanut but-ter (low-fat peanut butter is not necessarily a healthier choice) onto the bagel - typically just enough to allow the bananas to stick. Slice banana and place on bagel as pictured at left. Drizzle agave nectar onto the ba-nana. You will want to use a napkin or serve on a plate as the agave nectar isn’t as thick as syrup and may drip.

The agave nectar is much sweeter than sugar but ac-tually has a lower glycemic index than other sweet-ners and is a good choice to replace sugar or artificial sweetners. Honey if desired, may be used in place of the nectar.

This recipe makes two servings.

My daughter is starting middle school in the summer. I drive her to school and this means we have to be out of the house an hour earlier than we’re used to. I’m already thinking about breakfast and what I can have on hand to make sure she has something healthy to eat even when we’re rushing around. Here are some ideas for quick, on-the-go breakfasts:Make breakfast bags: Set up an assembly line on Sunday afternoon to make five breakfast bags for each child. Good fillers include fruit, hard boiled eggs, string cheese, dry cereal, granola bars and trail mix. Include a few different items to make a complete breakfast. Have it already on the table: Put out cereal, bananas, bowls, and spoons the night before. Make sure the milk carton is at the front of the fridge. Instruct children to pour themselves some cereal and eat as soon as they get up. I’m unable to eat right when I wake up, but my daughter doesn’t usually have a problem with it.Put your freezer to work: Make extra servings when you prepare breakfast on the weekends. Store individually wrapped single servings in the freezer. You or your child can simply eat one in the microwave before school each morning. Rely on an old standard: Peanut butter and jelly is a filling, healthy, kid-friendly and fat breakfast! Up the nutri-tion value by using low sugar jam and whole grain bread. Add a piece of fruit and a glass of milk to round out the meal. My daughter loves a peanut butter and a banana rolled in a tortilla.Let them eat breakfast at school: Most schools serve breakfast in the cafeteria for under $2 a meal. If ensuring your children get breakfast adds an extra layer of chaos to your morning, make sure they get to school early enough to eat there instead. This option often saves time and money! My daughter’s school allows parents to see what their child purchases online, so I know if she’s really eating breakfast or just pocketing the money to buy ice cream at lunch.

10 BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012

Healthy in 5 Minutestry this quick fix for a great start to the day

5 Quick Back to School Breakfast Ideas by Rachel Moshman

by Melinda Prince

PUBLISHERChristopher and Stephanie Taylor

EDITORChristopher Tayloreditor@besafechild.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERSRachael Moshman, Virginia LaMay of East Texas Medical Center, Rachel Frost of Tyler ISD

ADVERTISING/SALESStephanie Taylorstephanie@besafechild.com

BeSafe is published quarterly and printed by the Longview News Journal

Letters to the Editor:

©Copyright 2012 BeSafe PublicationsWe make every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information within these pages, however Be-Safe Publications assumes no liability for infor-mation provided by its sponsors. Content does not necessarily indicate the views and opinions

of BeSafe Publications or its staff. While we retain our copyright position, we do

grant permission to individuals and organizations for educational purposes.

BeSafe Publications is not responsible for any damages arising from typographical or mechani-

cal errors beyond the cost of the ad placed.

1815 Everglades Drive www.besafechild.comTyler, Texas 75703 info@besafechild.com www.facebook.com/besafepub

Kick Back.Enjoy.

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by Rachel Moshman

FiveThings you should

know about parents with special needs

children

4We’re lonely. Our friends

and family often have stepped away because our child’s needs made them

uncomfortable. Or perhaps we had to step away from

them because they refused to respect our boundaries and parenting decisions.

5We’re fragile. We feel

judged all the time. We want what’s best for our

child like any other parent and worry if we’re doing

enough for them. We often don’t have enough time or energy left to take care of

ourselves.

1We’re tired. Exhausted,

actually. This isn’t an oc-casional thing for us. We don’t miss out on a full night of sleep once in a while. It’s all of the time.

2Our brains our constantly busy. We’re always con-

sidering possible triggers in every situation, wonder-

ing how to explain our child’s unique needs.

3We know more about our

child’s condition than most doctors. I’ve read piles of books and keep

up with the latest research online. Her pediatrician has never heard of the

disorder.

by Rachael Moshman

12 BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012

spur your childs creativitydesign a space that’s sure to please and enhance their learning experience

1Give kids more space. Leave as much floor

space open for playing and hanging out as possible. Center the room with a soft rug and include easy storage solutions. The most effec-tive storage is easily acces-sible to kids, where they can pull it out, play with their toys and be able to put it back without any help. The best storage solutions do not dominate the room but cleverly do the job without taking up too much space.

2Show children their ideas have value by in-

cluding them in the design decision-making process as much as possible, letting them offer their ideas. Bear in mind that boys and girls are equally interested in having a say in the design of their rooms. If you make your children a part of the creation process, they may be more likely to take better care of their environment and their belongings.

Helping Young Minds Soar!

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Many parents may be surprised to learn that, according to Har-ris research, children begin taking an interest in changing their rooms just after the age of 5, citing more space to hang out and play as the No. 1 wish for the space. The study also found that 71 percent of parents think the design of a child’s room impacts creativity.

“We’ve seen how room design can unleash a child’s creativity in our own family,” said Cortney Novogratz from HGTV’s “Home by Novogratz.” “For example, it’s important to give children their own workspace and play space filled with materials designed to help express their ideas in a productive and inspirational way, like arts and crafts supplies and construction toys such as LEGO Friends. It’s also important to give children plenty of floor space in which to play and get creative; this gives them their own per-

sonal space in which to spread out and use their imaginations to the fullest.”

In addition to inviting children to put their remodeling and rebuilding skills to the test using toys that encourage construction, Robert and Cortney Novogratz offer these suggestions:

3Personalize with color and collections. Embrace

bold colors and don’t forget to have fun with it. Add more personality and origi-nality, and foster a child’s pride by displaying his or her collections. Fun solutions for displaying collections include corkboards or pin boards to display art; Lucite shelves and boxes to display collections; and simple cubed shelving units that are cost effective and great for dis-playing models, trophies and other things that kids gravi-tate toward.

4 Learn more. For further visual inspiration from

the Novogratz on how to put these tips into action, visit www.LEGOBuildTogether.com or call (800) 838-9647. (Courtesy of NAPS.net)

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HOSPITAL STAYSCAN BE SHORTENED -

HERE’S HOW . . .Your child is ready for school. You have the supplies, the backpack, and shoes, but does your child know how to be safe while walking to the bus stop or to school? Do you know what to do in case of an emergency? Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death in chil-dren ages 4 to 15 (NHTSA, 2008) and 20% of all children ages 5-9 who were in fatal traffic crashes were pedestri-ans (NHTSA, 2008). Optimize your child’s back to school experience by knowing what they think about walking safety, showing them how to be safe, and learning what to do in an emergency.

First, know what your child really thinks about walking safety. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administra-tion published some common myths that children may believe about walking. Some children may think they are always safe in a crosswalk. Other children believe it is safe to cross the street if the light is green or the crossing signal is on because drivers are supposed to stop for a pedestrian. Although we teach children the rules of the road, we need to make sure they know that some people do not follow those rules. Talk to your child and ask what they think, then work toward making sure those beliefs will not risk their safety.

Second, lead by example. Walk with your child, and show them how to stay safe. If your child walks to school, walk that route with them and make sure it avoids dangers. Encourage your child to walk with a friend when possible. Go to an intersection and demonstrate how to cross by looking left-right-left for moving cars or signs that a car is about to move. Make sure your child knows not to run into the street or in front of a parked car. Tell your child it is dangerous to push, shove or chase friends when they are near a street. Go to the bus stop and teach your child the proper way to get on or off the bus. If you child has to walk in front of the bus, remind them that they must al-ways be able to see the bus driver. Make a plan with your child so they do not get into someone’s vehicle unless you have approved the ride. Actively showing your child how to be safe will help them remember.

Third, know what to do in case of an emergency. If a child has been hit by a car, stay calm and call 911. Do not move that child unless there are safety risks. If the child is bleeding, apply direct pressure with a bandage or a clean cloth. Keep the child warm by using a blanket or a coat. If the child is not breathing normally, start chest compressions. Take a first aid and CPR class. Maintain the back to school excitement by making sure your child gets there safely. Clarify any misunderstand-ings and show them how to be safe. Know what to do in case of an emergency.

BeSafe Magazine Fall 2012 15

by Virginia LeMay, ETMC EMS

Meet Blake BeSafe and Pine Cove

send Blake Congleton to Summer Camp!

Tyler Water Utilities511 W. Locust Tyler, Texas 75710

Offi ce: 903-531-1230Fax: 903-531-1259

Email Water Utilities: WaterUtilities@tylertexas.com

This past summer, BeSafe publications and Pine Cove teamed up to create a summer camp giveaway! We asked parents to help their children write us a letter and tell us why they wanted to

attend camp. It took us days to read all the responses! In the end, the young writers were placed in the BeSafe hopper for a random

drawing. Of all the entries, Blake Congleton of Flint, Texas was randomly chosen as the winner!

Blake is 7 years old and attends school at Owens Elementary. He’s in 2nd Grade. He enjoys various outdoor activities such as soc-cer, fl ag football, water skiing, ice skating, and bike riding. Blake has been playing soc-cer since he was 2 1/2 yrs old. He started “offi cially” playing through the YMCA of Whitehouse at the age of 3. Blake will be starting his 4th soccer season with the Tyler Soccer Associa-tion this fall. Blake will also begin his 3rd Flag

Football Season through YMCA this Fall.

Blake attended week 10 of camp and when asked about the experience, Blake’s mother, Cindy, told BeSafe “it was amazing, exciting and just plain nuts.” If you have ever been to Pine Cove, you know what she’s talking about . . . every kid feels like they are about to embark on the best week of their summer. When BeSafe asked Blake about his experience, he told us that archery was a lot of fun and he had never done that before. He dined on the best waffl es for breakfast and had the most fun during pitch black attack where dressed up in cammo clothes.

manners are a refl ecti on on your parenti ng in the eyes of many people.

I recently heard an elderly couple chatti ng with a waitress at a litt le diner. I was there alone, treat-ing myself to breakfast in between dropping my daughter off at school and staring my work day. The topic of discussion was manners. (Yes, I was eavesdropping on a conver-

sati on about manners. No, I don’t think Emily Post would ap-prove.)

The waitress was enter-taining the couple with horror stories of rude, de-manding and disrespectf ul children. The couple assured her that they oft en noti ced children be-having badly in public and

were appalled that they rare-ly saw parents att empt to correct these issues. They wondered why society as a whole no longer seems to care about manners.

Are you afraid your child’s behavior is what sparked the conversa-ti ons? Do you cringe at your child’s man-ners, but feel

Below are some quick and easy ways to teach good man-ners.

as though you don’t have ti me to correct them? Teach-ing a child to be polite and well-mannered should be a priority for even the busi-est parents. These are im-portant char-acteristi cs for gaining friend-ships and respect in so-cial, academic and (future) career situ-ati ons. Plus, your child’s

MannersDo Matter

by Rachael Moshman

www.rachelmoshman.com

Win a Family Fun Pack Email us your favorite children’s book title with a brief book review. Reviews should be written by the child with mom/dad’s help. Two paragraph minimum. All participants will be entered into a random drawing for four tickets to

Discovery Science Place and a $25 gift card to Texas Roadhouse!

Model good man-ners.

You can't expect your child to use good man-ners if they don't see you do it. Be polite and respectful to everyone you encounter. Say "please", "thank you" and "excuse me". Show the same cour-tesy to your partner and children. Modeling manners was pay-ing off as I watched my daughter and her friend play "tea party". She was prompting her friend to say, "May I please have more sugar?" and to keep her elbows off the table.

Demand proper manners are used.

Once you model the manners you want used, expect your children to follow them. If your child would like milk, let her know that she may have some when she says please. Then wait for her to ask properly. It's normal for kids to forget their manners sometimes. Remind them of your expec-tations and instruct them to try it again.

Read books about manners.

Hit your local library for books about manners. There are many on the mar-ket. Books explain what manners are and why they are important. Picture books for younger children often teach this by using silly animals exaggerat-ing bad manners. Use the books as a tool to reinforce your expectations and offer reminders when good manners start to lapse.

Use positive reinforcement.

Praise your child when he is polite and respectful! Tell him that you noticed and appreciated the good manners he used. Most children love to please their parents. I encour-age my daughter to take pride in herself, as well. "Wow! You said 'excuse me' when you wanted your cousin to move.You must be so proud of yourself!"

Give them a chance to re-spond.

I am horrible at this. Every time someone gives my daughter a gift or compliment, I immediately ask her, "What do you say?" I don't give her the chance to say "thank you" on her own. Teaching, modeling and setting boundar-ies aren't nearly as effective if you don't allow your child to practice on her own.

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Actual photo of Tyler location

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ETMC First Physicians clinic in Tyler1000 E. Fifth St. 903-596-3862

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To schedule an appointment, call 903-596-3862.