Story: The cockroach theory for self development

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat ona lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic strickenface and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her handsdesperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also gotpanicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landedon another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue thedrama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior ofthe cockroach on his shirt.When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers andthrew it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mindpicked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroachresponsible for their histrionic behavior?If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handlethe disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss ormy wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle thedisturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but myinability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam thatdisturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that createschaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:I understood, I should not react in life.I should always respond.The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always wellthought of, just and right to save a situation from going out ofhands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions inanger, anxiety, stress or hurry.

~*~ Enriching Thoughts ~*~

The highest aim in life - To know God and do His will The most enriching good habit - Complimenting others The most destructive bad habit - Worry The greatest joy - Giving The greatest loss - Loss of self-respect The most satisfying work - Helping others The ugliest personality trait - Selfishness The most endangered species - Dedicated leaders Our greatest natural resource - Our youth The ugliest look - A frown The greatest "shot in the arm" - Encouragement The greatest problem to overcome - Fear The most effective sleeping pill - Peace of mind The most crippling failure disease - Excuses The surest way to displease God - Unbelief The most powerful forces in life - Love The most dangerous piranha - A gossiper The Greatest Life-Giver - The Creator The worlds most incredible computer - The brain The worst thing to be without - Hope The deadliest weapon - The tongue The two most power-filled words - "I Can" The greatest asset - Faith The most worthless emotion - Self-pity The most beautiful attire - A SMILE! The most prized possession - Self esteem The most powerful channel of communication - Prayer The most contagious spirit - Enthusiasm The most urgent need - SALVATION The greatest attribute of the prophets - Obedience The GREATEST - GOD

20 Things That Mentally Strong People Don't Do

I often write about the things I believe we all should be doing, trying or experimenting with in order to maximize our success and happiness. However, it’s not always the things we do that make the biggest difference in

our lives; it’s often the things we avoid doing that have the biggest effect. As human beings, we have a strong aversion to not doing; we feel that in order to produce results, there must be an initial action.

However, because we are almost always doing something, piling on more and more often has a negative effect, rather than a positive one. Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time.

These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:

1. Dwelling On The Past

Mentally strong individuals focus on the present moment and on the near future. They understand that the past is out of our control and the far future is about as predictable as the weather this winter.

2. Remaining In Their Comfort Zone

The comfort zone is a dangerous place, a dark abyss where anyone who remains there for too long loses his or herself entirely. Staying within your comfort zone is giving up on life.

3. Not Listening To The Opinions Of Others

Only the foolish believe themselves to be sufficient in all regards. When it comes to brainstorming, ideas can’t so much be forced as they can be caught. A good idea is a good idea, regardless of whether or not you came up with it. Don’t let your ego get the better of you; if someone has great advice to give, take it.

4. Avoiding Change

What the mentally strong understand that the mentally weak do not is that change is unavoidable. Trying to avoid the inevitable is pointless. Therefore, trying to avoid change is pointless; it’s a mere waste of time and energy.

5. Keeping A Closed Mind

You don’t know everything. Even the things you believe yourself to know are likely to not be entirely true. If you keep a closed mind, you are preventing yourself from learning new material. If you stop learning, you stop living.

6. Letting Others Make Decisions For Them

Only you should be making your own decisions; you can’t allow others to make them for you. All this does is shift the responsibility from you to someone else, but the only person failing in the end is you. If you don’t have the courage to fail, then you don’t have the courage to succeed.

7. Getting Jealous Over The Successes Of Others

When others succeed, you should be happy. If they can do it, so can you. The success of others does not, in any way, lessen the chances of you succeeding. If anything, it should motivate you to keep pushing forward.

8. Thinking About The High Possibility Of Failure

Our thoughts control our perspective; our perspective controls our results. The mentally strong understand this and use this to their advantage. There’s always the chance you may fail, but as long as there is the chance you may succeed, it’s worth trying.

9. Feeling Sorry For Themselves

Sh*t happens. Life can be hard. People get hurt; others die. Life isn’t all roses and butterflies. You will fall off that horse again and again and again. The question is, are you strong enough to keep getting back on it?

10. Focusing On Their Weaknesses

Although working on our weaknesses does have its benefits, it’s more important to focus on banking on our strengths. The most well-rounded person is not the person that gets the furthest in life. Being average in all regards makes you average. However, mastering a certain skillset or trait will allow you to beat the competition with less effort.

11. Trying To Please People

A job well done is a job well done, no matter who is judging the final product. You can’t please everybody, but you can always manage to do your very best.

12. Blaming Themselves For Things Outside Their Control

The mentally strong know the things they can control, understand the things they cannot control, and avoid even thinking about that which is completely out of their hands.

13. Being Impatient

Patience isn’t just a virtue; it is the virtue. Most people don’t fail because they aren’t good enough, or aren’t capable of winning or succeeding. Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come.

14. Being Misunderstood

Communication is key in any properly functioning system. When it comes to people, things get a bit more complicated. Simply stating information is never enough; if the receiving party misunderstands you, your message is not being properly relayed. The mentally strong do their best to be understood and have the patience to clear up misunderstandings.

15. Feeling Like You’re Owed

You aren’t owed anything in life. You were born; the rest is up to you. Life doesn’t owe you anything. Others don’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you only owe it to yourself to go out and get it. In life, there are no handouts.

16. Repeating Mistakes

Make a mistake once, okay. Make a mistake twice… not so okay. Make the same mistake a third time, you may need to consider giving up alcohol and drugs. You’re either stupid or permanently high.

17. Giving Into Their Fears

The world can be a scary place. Some things frighten us with good cause, but most of our fears are illogical. If you know that you want to try something, try it. If you’re scared, then understand that being scared of failing must mean that succeeding means a whole lot to you.

18. Acting Without Calculating

The mentally strong know better than to act before completely understanding the situation at hand. If you have time to ponder over something and cover all your bases, then do so. Not doing so is pure laziness.

19. Refusing Help From Others

You’re not Superman; you can’t do it all. Even if you can, why should you? If others are offering to help, let them help. Be social. Listen to their ideas and watch how they do things. You may learn something. If not, then you can teach them something and do what humans are meant to do: socialize.

20. Throwing In The Towel

The biggest weakness in all of humanity is giving up — calling it quits, throwing in the towel. The mentally strong go about things in such a way. Only do things if they are important to you; forget the things that aren't important to you. If they’re important to you, then pursue them until you succeed. No exceptions, ever.

When our father irritate us?

When our father irritate us? An old man was sitting in the courtyard of his house along with his son who had received a high education. Suddenly a crow perched on a wall of the house. The

father asked the son: What is this? The son replied: It is a crow. After a little while the father again asked the son: What is this? The son said: It is a crow.

 After a few minutes the father asked his son the third time: What is this? The son said: Father, I have just now told you that this is a crow. After a little while the old

father again asked his son the fourth time: what is this? By this time some statement of irritation was felt in the son’s tone when he rebuffed his father:

Father! It is a crow, a crow. A little after the father again asked his son: What is this? This time the son replied to his father with a vein of temper. Father: You are always repeating the same question; although I have told you so many times that

it is a crow. Are you not able to understand this?The father went to his room and came back with an old diary. Opening a page he asked his son to read what was written. What the son read were

the following words written in the diary:‘Today my little son was sitting with me in the courtyard, when a crow came

there. My son asked me twenty-five times what it was and I told him twenty-five times that it was a crow and I did not at all feel irritated. I rather felt affection for

my innocent child.’

The father then explained to his son the difference between a father’s and a son’s attitude. While you were a little child you asked me this question twenty-five times and I felt no irritation in replying to the question twenty-five times and when today I asked you the same

question only five times, you felt irritated, annoyed and impatient with me.

Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) mentions in Noble Qur’an:“And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him,

and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) “Ugh” nor chide them, and speak

to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them,

as they brought me up (when I was) little.” Noble Qur’an (17:23-24)Imam Zainul Abideen (pbuh) says: “It is also said that once a man came to

the Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and asked: “I feed my parents, carry them on my back and clean them, have I fulfilled my duty towards

them? The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) answered: No, because, you are serving them in anticipation for their death while they served you

wishing you a long life”.

Professional: 15 Tips For Writing An Excellent Email Subject Line

If you're like most professionals, you probably write dozens of emails a day but barely think about the subject line. It's an afterthought that you add just before you hit send.

If so, you're making a big mistake. The subject line often determines whether an email is opened and how the recipient responds.

We asked career, email, and marketing experts to offer their best tips for crafting the perfect subject line. Whether you're looking for a job, emailing co-workers, or reaching out to potential clients, here's how you should approach it:

1. Write the subject line first. One of the top mistakes people make on email is forgetting to write a subject line, says Amanda Augustine, career expert at professional job-matching service TheLadders. An email with a blank subject line will likely go unread or get lost in a cluttered inbox. Write the subject line before the email so you know it’s taken care of. 

2. Keep it short. A typical inbox reveals about 60 characters of an email’s subject line, while a mobile phone shows just 25 to 30 characters, says Augustine. Get right to the point in about six to eight words. 

3. Place the most important words at the beginning. A whopping 50% of emails are read on mobile phones, says Dmitri Leonov, a VP at email management service SaneBox. Since you

don’t know how much of the subject line will be viewable from a smartphone, it’s important to put the most important information at the beginning. Otherwise, compelling details could get cut off. 

4. Eliminate filler words. With such precious space, don’t waste it with unnecessary words like “hello,” “nice to meet you,” and “thanks,” which can easily be included in the email’s body. 

5. Be clear and specific about the topic of the email. The subject line should communicate exactly what the email is about so that the recipient can prioritize the email’s importance without having to open it. For example, writing “Do you have a sec?” is vague, says Augustine, since the reader will have to open the email or reply to figure out what you want. If it’s a job application, she suggests including your name and the position, and if it’s to another co-worker, you should identify the project that the email refers to. 

6. Keep it simple and focused. Especially if you’re sending a marketing email, Kipp Bodnar, a VP at marketing software platform HubSpot, says it should be focused on one action, which should be communicated in the subject line. Offer one takeaway, indicate how the reader can make use of it, and specify how you will deliver it. 

7. Use logical keywords for search and filtering. Most professionals have filters and folders set up to manage their email and probably won’t focus on your message when they first see it, says Leonov. That’s why it’s important to include keywords related to the topic of the email that will make it searchable later. 

8. Indicate if you need a response. “People want to know whether they really need to read this now and if they have to respond,” says Augustine. If you need a response, make it clear in the subject line by saying “please reply” or “thoughts needed on X topic.” If not, simply start the line with “Please read,” or tack on “no response needed” or “FYI” to the end. 

9. Set a deadline in the subject line. Especially if you have a lot of information to convey in the email itself, including a deadline right in the subject line exponentially increases the odds that readers will respond. For example, after the email’s topic, you could say: “Please reply by EOD Friday.” 

10. If someone referred you, be sure to use their name. If you’ve been referred by a mutual acquaintance, do not save that for the body of the email, says Augustine. Put it in the subject line to grab the reader’s attention right away. Moreover, she suggests beginning the subject line with the full name of the person who referred you. 

11. Highlight the value you have to offer. If sending a cold email to someone you don’t know, “you need a subject line that indicates value and communicates what they’re going to get,” says Bodnar. Pique the reader’s interest by offering them something that’s helpful. Whether you’re providing a speaking opportunity, a discount, or a service, make it clear in the subject line what’s in it for them. 

12. Personalize it with the recipient’s name or company name. You have to know who you’re sending the email to, and they have to recognize that it’s about them or a subject interesting to them, Bodnar says. Using their name or company name is one of the best ways to do that, he says, and makes the recipient much more likely to open the email. For example, you might write, “Increase Company.com’s traffic by 25%,” or “John, see how you compare to competitors.” 

13. Don’t start a sentence that you finish in the email’s body. If you begin a thought or question that ends in the email, then the reader is forced to open the email. It’s annoying, and since clarity and being respectful of the recipient’s time is the goal, it’s not very helpful, says Augustine. Consider whether instant message, a call, or an in-person chat might be a better medium for your question. 

14. Make sure you reread the subject line. Augustine also warns against copy-and-paste errors. Sometimes when people are sending a similar email to multiple people, they forget to tailor it to each reader and end up with the wrong name or title in the subject line. The easiest way to avoid this is to reread the subject line before you hit send. 

15. Don’t put words in ALL CAPS. Using all caps may get someone’s attention, but in the wrong way. It’s the digital equivalent of yelling, and your job is to make the email as easy as possible for the recipient to read rather than giving them anxiety, says Leonov. Instead, use dashes or colons to separate thoughts, and avoid caps and special characters like exclamation points.

Effective Communication

You might have experienced misunderstanding in family or official life on several occasions. The reason is obvious that either of the person didn't state his/her stance in clear fashion or perceive it clearly. So where does the fault lie and how can we improve? Let us study the below recommendations which need to be considered by Communicator or Listener in order to have solid common understanding and avoid communication gaps.

1.     Improve vocabulary: Every word has its own deep meanings. For example there is a difference between 'Hate' and 'Dislike'. Likewise, there is a difference between 'Should' and 'Must'. To enhance vocabulary you should learn new words and understand the meanings of synonyms and antonyms as well. You can use online dictionaries or built-in features of MS Word (right click on a word to know synonyms/antonyms.

2.    Listen carefully and listen more. If you listen more you are absorbing more and improving your level of comprehension. If you speak more you are on the verge of confusing others. So listen more and speak less. And when you speak, speak slowly and softly. Ask if you have communicated clearly or more elaboration is required.

3.    If you don't understand something, ask for elaboration. It is said that "If you doubt at first, doubt again and clear it"

4.    Put yourself in others' shoes to understand their perspective. Think win-win. Analyze the situation from everyone's perspective. Consider all the stake holders and consider their emotions. Develop Emotional Intelligence skill. Google it today. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

5.    If you are writing Emails/Letters/Fax then re-read after you are done with typing. Considering point-4 while you review your article. You can ask someone to comment on what you have written.

6.    Avoid hard words to avoid bad taste: For example instead of saying 'Rejected' use the word 'Not Approved'. When you say No, you should sound as if you wanted to say Yes but due to specific issue you can't say yes. So if that issue is addressed, you will be saying Yes and Saying Approved. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

7.    Avoid too many arguments. Convince or get convinced. If things gets complicated, take a break… engage some well-wishers to assist resolve the matter.

Further, I would recommend understanding Berlos Model of Communication. As per him, there are 4 factors which can ensure strong communication if considered properly. These are Source, Message, Channel & Receiver. By source he means that the speaker needs to have good communication skills, positive attitude, has understanding of cultural aspects and proper knowledge on the subject. By Message he means that the speaker has to use mature and to-the-point wordings. By Channel means that correct medium at correct time (phone call, physical appearance, email, fax) to be used. By Receiver he means that Receiver needs to understand the message clearly. The Receiver's level of understanding, attitude and Listening skills matter a lot.

Conclusion: Effective Communication is an indication of your wisdom and maturity level and is critically important to enhance your personal and professional relationship. Developing this habit will improve your bonds with your friends, colleagues and family members so start working on this starting today…

Six Tips for Tough Times

Tough times can bring you to your knees.  They can also raise you to new heights.

You can be stressed to the max on a bad day, yet, as long as life seems manageable, you don’t usually look for new strategies to get through it.   The tendency is to pull yourself up by the

bootstraps, grit your teeth and keep on going.  During prolonged or sudden tough times, though, normal defense mechanisms are not enough to keep you from feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed.

It’s when events are overwhelmingly beyond your control, that you either find new ways to cope or are pulled down by the undertow.  Your usual defenses are inadequate to protect from overwhelming long-term stress.  Stress can build gradually beyond tolerance level, or a surprising turn of events like those recently reported in the news can create the kind of vulnerability that demands openness to change.

The soft inner core of your being feels exposed.  This exposure opens a crack in the old armor through which an opportunity for renewed life can shine.

Here are six tips that can help you thrive in tough times?  .

Nourish Yourself - Let go of the bootstraps for a few moments, acknowledge your stress and be kind to yourself.  What nourishes you - inspirational reading, music, a cup of tea …?  Are there people or places, a favorite chair or spot in nature that provide sustenance?  Make nurturing yourself every day a priority.

Stay Present - Don’t project ahead. Take life one day, one moment at a time.  Tough times are more manageable when you pay attention to making decisions and taking action on only the next step.  Fearful preoccupation or worries about dire imagined future possibilities can leave you open to illness, accidents and errors in judgment that compound your problems.  Scale down, simplify your activities and concentrate your precious energy supply on only what is critically important right now.

Accept Support - This can be difficult for people who prize self-sufficiency.  Remember it is as virtuous to receive, as it is to give.  Without the receiver, the giver has no way to share their abundant gifts.  Don’t deprive your friends and family of the pleasure to help you when you need it.  Shared burdens provide opportunities for enhanced closeness and appreciation for one another.

Trust Your Resilience - Chances are you have been through tough times before.  What natural strengths did you rely upon in those situations?  How did you make it through adolescence, Childbirth, Marriage, Divorce, School, First job?  What are your natural inner resources?  Trust that you have what you need to see this tough time through.    Visualize Success - See yourself moving into a new chapter of life.  How do you want to write that chapter?  Creation begins in the imagination.  If you can think it, you can create it.  In order to be free to dream and hope for something new, you must let go of old visions, descriptions and limitations of the person you think you are or can become.

Forgive Past Errors - Forgive past hurts, and people who may have inflicted them, knowingly or unknowingly.  This is not out of kindness to them, rather out of kindness to you.  After all, you are the one carrying the burden of these hurts.   Forgive yourself for mistakes or paths not taken.  Release the burden of the past so you can travel lighter in the present.

In times of crisis and radical change, remember that living means growing.  I have never seen anything in nature grow backward.  So, as bad as you feel, and as much as you doubt it, if you are alive you are growing.

Growth is creative.  So, take advantage of the opportunity in these tough times to re-create your life by nourishing yourself, staying present, accepting support, trusting your resilience, visioning possibilities and letting go of the past and perceived limitations.

Even though tough times are hard, they can also be the best times to explore ways to live more harmoniously with yourself and others.

 

Story: The Doctor and the Father

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.

On seeing him, the dad yelled:“Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled said:“I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital I came as fast as I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily

The doctor smiled again replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we came to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”

“Giving advises when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,“Thank goodness!, your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any questions, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

Moral: 1- Never judge anyone….. because you never know how their life is what they’re going through”2- People who jump the gun in most cases happen to be foul mouthed. "Just keep away from them".

30 Smart Time Management Tips and Tricks

Yes, yes, yes, you are very busy. That’s why you meet deadlines at the last minute. Or after. That’s why you cruise into meetings 15 minutes late. It’s why you forget details or schedule two tasks for the same time or have 500 unanswered emails in your inbox. It’s why you can never take a vacation, or even a full weekend off.Or is it? Maybe poor time management is simply a bad habit. Maybe you can learn to organize and control your time better. Because let’s face it, time management is really self management.

Consider taking a look at these classic time management tips. One, or two, or three, may work for you:

1. Obvious tip one: Make a to-do list (electronic or paper). Put the most important item first and work down from there.

2. Obvious tip two: At the end of your day, review what you've done and make a new list for the next day. In order of importance.

3. Be ruthless about setting priorities. Make sure that what you think is important is really important.

4. Learn to differentiate between the important and the urgent. What’s important is not always urgent. What’s urgent is not always important.

5. Carry your to-do list with you at all times.

6. All things being equal, do the hardest, least fun thing first. Just get it over with!

7. If a task takes less than five minutes, do it right away. If it takes longer, put it on the list.

8. Deal with E-mail at set times each day, if possible. If you need to check messages as they arrive, limit your sessions to less than five minutes.

9. Schedule some uninterrupted time each day when you can concentrate on important tasks, even if you have to take refuge in a conference room or at the library.

10. Another approach: Before you check your E-mail or voice-mail or get involved in the minutiae of the day, devote a solid hour to your most important project.

11. For a couple of days, take an inventory of how you spend your time to find out where and how you’re wasting it.

12. Eliminate the time wasters (e.g., if personal phone calls are taking up too much space in your workday, turn off your cell).

13. Cut big jobs into small chunks. Order the chunks by importance. Work on one chunk at a time.

14. For big, complex tasks, schedule wiggle room. Projects tend to take longer than you think/hope. Give yourself a buffer.

15. If part of your day involves routine repetitive tasks, keep records of how long they take and then try to do them faster.

16. Go one step further and set specific time limits for routine tasks. Work tends to fill whatever amount of time you happen to have.

17. Establish smart efficient systems for all your tasks, big and small, and stick to them.

18. Value your time. People who wander into your work-space to chat do not respect you or your schedule. Set boundaries.

19. When and where you can, say no. Trying to do everything everyone asks you to do is a recipe for failure.

20. In general, guard against over-scheduling yourself.

21. Bottom line to items 19 and 20: Learn to delegate, wherever and whenever you can.

22. Aim to handle pieces of paper only once. Same for E-mails. Read ‘em and deal with ‘em.

23. Reward yourself for completing tasks on time. No fun stuff until the work stuff is done.

24. Organize work-space so you don’t waste time looking for things.

25. Schedule demanding tasks for that part of your day when you’re at your peak.

26. Group related tasks (e.g., sort papers on your desk and then file them). It’s more efficient.

27. Use down time (e.g., waiting for meetings to begin) to, for example, update your to-do list or answer E-mails.

28. This advice applies to life outside work, too. It’s better to be excellent at a few things than average at many.

29. Don’t be afraid to get projects done early. It takes them off your mind, and it doesn't mean you’ll just be given more to do.

30. Create the business environment that works for you. Adjust the lighting, turn off your E-mail pinger, get that cup of tea. Set the stage and get to work.

Good Luck!

If you try to please everyone, you might as well.

An old man, a boy a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey  the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking the boy was riding. The man boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. 

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. 

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal he fell into the river and drowned. 

The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well..

Story: The Three Dolls

A sage presented a prince with a set of three small dolls. The prince was not amused. “Am I a girl that you give me dolls?” – He asked.“This is a gift for a future king,” Said the sage. “If you look carefully, you’ll see a hole in the ear of each doll.” The sage handed him a piece of string. “Pass it through each doll.” – He said. Intrigued, the prince picked up the first doll and put the string into the ear. It came out from the other ear. “This is one type of person,” said the sage, “whatever you tell him, comes out from the other ear. He doesn’t retain anything.” The prince put the string into the second doll. It came out from the mouth. “This is the second type of person,” said the sage, “whatever you tell him, he tells everybody else.” The prince picked up the third doll and repeated the process. The string did not come out. “This is the third type of person,” said the sage, “whatever you tell him is locked up within him. It never comes out.” “What is the best type of person?” – Asked the prince. The sage handed him a fourth doll, in answer. When the prince put the string into the doll, it came out from the other ear.  “Do it again.” – Said the sage. The prince repeated the process. This time the string came out from the mouth. When he put the string in a third time, it did not come out at all. “This is the best type of person,” said the sage. “To be trustworthy, a man must know when not to listen, when to remain silent and when to speak out.”

10 Steps For Becoming A Leader

Everyone wants to lead, but at what cost? A careless approach to leadership can result in major losses for everyone.

Most of us can recall a leader who just wasn't cut out for the job. Being a leader is demanding; becoming a great leader is uncommon. Followers aren't particularly merciful to those who lead incompetently. Instead, they can respond with insubordination, decreased productivity, or a generalized attitude of confusion or frustration.

If you are a business leader or thinking about becoming one, here are some mistakes to avoid:

 

1. Don't lord it over your staff. No one likes a know-it-all. Assuming a cocky stance or a bullying attitude will strike a similar flint in the hearts of your subordinates.

 

2. Don't be a softie. Just as a sharp edge can have a cutting effect, a marshmallow can quickly lose its shape. Being a people pleaser means that you will inevitably let someone down, so don't even try. Instead, focus on the job and make it work with everyone's interests as best you can without bending over backwards until you break.

 

3. Don't put on a over-confident front. If you need information, ask for it rather than pretend you have all the answers. There's nothing wrong with an honest question, but there's plenty wrong with someone who is afraid to ask.

 

4. Don't misjudge employees' abilities. Take time to read files, interview people, and observe performance before making staffing decisions. Put competent, trustworthy people in charge of important projects so that neither you nor the company will regret it.

 

5. Don't play favorites. Owing a favor or liking a person are two poor reasons for handing out raises and promotions. Feeling sorry for someone is just as bad. Use good judgment and fair play to make staff decisions.

 

6. Don't hold a grudge. If you don't get along with someone, stay away from the person; don't try to get even. Leaders who use their position of authority to take punitive action based on personal vendettas are likely to find themselves in trouble.

 

 

7. Don't take a casual approach to the budget. Get to know it thoroughly. Understand company growth patterns and long-term projections, as well as how your leadership can play a role. Being careless with money is dangerous and potentially costly in the business world. Careless mistakes take time to fix, and in business, time is money.

 

8. Don't overlook company shifts, goals, or problems. Study the "big picture" with a view to finding your place in it and growing with the company.

 

9. Keep an eye on industry trends. Know what's "hot" and what's not; that's how leaders keep leading. Otherwise, someone who is more knowledgeable than you may take your place.

 

10. Stay human. When mistakes happen, forgive others and yourself. Laugh and be friendly, but don't look foolish doing it. Avoid mechanical responses and a 24/7 mentality toward your job. Do your best, but then leave the rest of your job at work until the next day. It'll be there when you return. At night and on weekends, enjoy your family and have fun. You've earned it.

 

Becoming a leader is challenging. Follow these suggestions to avoid problems and help your company and your career reach their potential.

Keep Working

When you doubt yourself and your efforts, keep working. Your creative energy, persistently applied, will soon make the doubt go away.

When you're simply not making any progress, keep working. The breakthrough you seek may be just one more effort away.

When you've enjoyed a great success, keep working. Instead of resting on your achievements, make them even more meaningful by making good use of them.

When it feels like all your energy is drained, keep working. Your determined efforts will create their own energy.

When you're not sure what to do, keep working. The more you do, the more you

learn, and the more clearly you'll be able to see the way forward.

Life works best when you keep working at it. Keep working, and keep making life truly amazing.

The ADVICE

ADVICE = Attitude, Direction, Values, Interests, Commitment, Encouragement

 

 

 

1. A ttitude Bloom where you are planted. You have a choice to get back up after temporary setbacks. Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference!

2. D irection If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. Write your short term goals down on paper. I have discovered and continue to discover that putting your dreams and goals down on paper lock in or focus your belief that they can be achieved--even if you have to take a course correction in achieving your goals. Success comes in cans, failure comes in can't's.

3. V alues Explore what is important to you. Maybe it is family, friends, your spirituality or working hard at any given task. I can assure you that your priorities will change as you grow older. Very important that you value yourself and treat yourself like the valuable gift from God that you are.

4. I nterests Birds of a feather flock together. This is to say that if you are hanging around winners or others with a "can do" mind-set, you'll likely adapt to this same kind of thinking. Remember--"SUCCESS LEAVES CLUES!

5. C ommitment Feelings may change, commitments do not. "Success is getting up one more time than you fall." I have often wanted to give up, and then I must think to myself about what the consequences of giving up will be. Generally, this is more than enough of a motivation to make us stick to the task at hand even if we don't feel like it. When the task is achieved, Whow!--IT FEELS GREAT!

6. E ncouragement Be an encourager and comforter to friends that are feeling discouraged. I promise that you will not regret this as you will be encouraged by one, if not many, when you are feeling down. Encouragement and love are contagious qualities that can change the minds of the most stubborn and "hard-to-get- along-with" people you know. I have seen it happen over and over again.

Home Remedies for Food Poisoning

All the good foodies of the world suffer from a disease called food poisoning. Reason being, they love food and food loves them too, along with all its germs, bacteria’s and viruses. Which once trigger then causes a range of stomach related diseases in a person; food poisoning is one such disease which occurs as an aftermath of overeating mostly. It is very important to pay heed to this disease from the very start because it tends to turn up into a dangerous one if left unattended or untreated. Though, there are a lot of medicines and specialist doctors are available to cure this disease but the best solutions rest at one’s own home. You have got that right; you can treat this disease very effectively at home by opting out for few solutions which are enlisted in below section.

Food poisoning is one of the very common diseases that victimize almost every person in their lifetime. Reason being, every person likes to eat good food, and when it comes to food then at times a person lose control to their appetite. Hence, he happens to eat more than what is required and eventually fall prey to this disease called food poisoning. This disease though sounds minor one but it can be lethal and dangerous equally for the sufferer as it affects the hydration level in a person and in extreme cases, the consequences could be very dangerous. Therefore, it is important to pay heed towards its apt and quick treatment and as mentioned earlier, home remedies could be best solution available to cure this disease in initial stages. Below are listed few of the very effective home remedies for food poisoning:

Firstly, you can use ginger to treat this disease as ginger is very useful in curing many diseases and it is especially very effective in getting rid of digestive problems. You can use a table spoon of ginger juice in honey daily to treat you food poisoning and also, to keep your digestive system clean

Cumin seeds are another good option to appease your inflammation in stomach and to aggravate your healing power. All you are required to do is use them in your soup or other edible items

Apart from that, bananas also act incredibly impressive when it comes to getting rid of food poisoning as this fruit is naturally rich in potassium; hence it acts substantially towards the treatment of food poisoning

Apple cider vinegar is another very potent treatment to cure this disease. it is enrich with alkaline qualities; therefore, works very effectively towards appeasing your stomach and towards enhancing your immunity against the bacteria’s of this disease

Lemon can also act as a good option to fight the bacteria’s of this disease. It is basically the acidity of lemon which makes it this effective against food poisoning. You can either use it with honey or can also take it in tea

Moreover, another fruit which is very effective in reducing the growth of bacteria’s which lead to diarrhea and stomach pain is apple. You should also eat a lot of apples in dealing with food poisoning

Bear in mind that you should consumes more and more liquids during this disease to maintain a balanced hydration level which tends to get affected in food poisoning a lot. Also, pay special attention towards the minerals level in your body to avoid weakness

Further, activated charcoal can also be used which is very beneficial in absorbing the gasses and other germs which act harmful towards the delicate lining of stomach during this disease

Peppermint tea is another very good remedy for this disease as it is not only soothing for the senses but also acts very well against food poisoning

Using basil leaves with honey is another proven effective option to cure diseases related to stomach and respiratory system

Garlic can also be used against this disease as an apt treatment due to its natural antiviral, anti-fungal and anti-bacterial properties

Moreover, honey is also very good to use in order to cure food poisoning as it is also enriched with factors which are good to treat indigestion and other food poisoning causing germs

Apart from that, you can drink different herbal teas when suffering from food poisoning as they act very soothingly towards the body and stomach in this disease. keep using this tea and you will see the effects of it in a short span of time

Recapitulating, above are mentioned few of the many home remedies to cure food poisoning without going to doctor. But bear in mind that, if the above mentioned pointers do not seem like working properly on your ailment then you should consult your doctor instantly then he will guide you and prescribe you the right treatment for this disease according to your disposition.

Value of Finger

A screw that is connected with a machine is valuable because it is working with the whole machine. And if the screw is taken away from the machine, or if it is faulty, it is worthless. My finger is worth millions of dollars as long as it is attached to this body and is serving the body. And if it is cut off from this body, then what is its worth? Nothing. Similarly, our relationship is that we are very small particles of God's universe; therefore our duty is to dovetail our energies with Him and cooperate with Him. That is our relationship. Otherwise we are worthless. We are cut off. When the finger becomes useless the doctor says, "Oh, amputate this finger. Otherwise the body will be poisoned." Similarly, when we detach ourselves from God we are cut off from our relationship with God and suffer in this material world. If we try to join again with the Supreme Lord, then our relationship is revived.

 In this material world also, in ordinary behavior, we see that a man goes to serve another man because the other man is greater than he and can pay him a nice salary. So naturally the conclusion is that if we are small, our duty is to serve God. We have no other business. We are all different parts and parcels of the original system.

Drink Water at the Right Time to Maximize Its Potent Effect

Water is one of the highly blessed things which a human is provided with by nature and by God. It is not only our daily routine requirement which we often take for granted but it is also used to serve a lot of other purposes in our lives. In fact there are many hidden benefits associated with water about which we are not very well aware of. If it could be said that water is one of the most important requirements of human body then it would not be wrong. Apart from that, we often ignore the fact that everything looks and acts well when it is used in limits or in required quantity. Because the excess of everything is not good for human’s health. Same is the case with drinking water; there are certain times in a day in which effects of water on human body substantiates positively while in other cases it could act harmfully on a human’s health.

 

Amazing Facts about WaterFurther, do you know there are few of many startling facts about drinking water at right time which would amaze you a lot? For instance do you know?

When you drink water before going to sleep than it appease your hunger pangs for the whole night and contributes towards a peaceful sleep in this way

Drinking 8 to 10 glass of water in a day also acts very effectively towards dealing with joint problems and back aches

If the required level of water in your body drops by 2% then it could trigger fuzzy memory issues, problems in mathematics and other focus related difficulties in a person

Moreover, lack of water quantity in body is the number one reason behind feeling fatigued throughout the day

After having considered the aforementioned facts we now move towards knowing the right times of drinking water in order to understand its potent effects on human’s body.

 

Right Times of Drinking WaterWe now look at the nine best ways and times when your body requires more water and when the effect of water is also greater on a person’s body. As drinking water in these times ensures the proper smoothness which is required and demanded by body. Apart from that, this act also contributes substantially towards one’s health. Let’s now have a peek at the right times of drinking water in a day.

When you wake up in the morning then first thing you should do at that time is drinking a glass of water, it is very important to drink water when you get up in order to keep your body going throughout the day. It is just like warming up your body to bear the day. This time of drinking water is of paramount importance when you are that kind of a person who does not eat breakfast

Moreover, drinking water half hour before taking meal is also very beneficial for a person. As it helps in preparing the stomach and it also makes it comfortable to digest the acidic food. Apart from that, it also enlightens your taste buds right before taking in any meal. Hence, it qualifies as another very important time for drinking water in order to gain maximum benefits

Apart from that, if you feel dehydrated even after eating meal then you should drink a glass of water because at times what happens, your body passes this dehydration signal just to make you aware that now is the time to take a glass of water. In such situation you can drink a glass of water with snack; once done with that you will then feel fuller after a while and not dehydrated or hungry anymore

Whenever you exercise, you can then take 8 ounces of water in your body to cater the dehydration which triggers once you are done with the exercise. However, it is up to you that how much water you should drink before exercise depending upon your disposition and level of water in your body

Just like above pointer, you should also drink water after exercising to make up for lost hydration level due to it

Whenever you take medication then it is useful to drink water with that if allowed by doctor. As water helps in dissolving medicines in body and makes it convenient to digest in a body

Whenever you are at places which are under attack of a gamut of bacteria’s and viruses then it is best suited for you to drink a lot of water to vent out picked up germs, bacteria’s and viruses from your body

Bear in mind that, most of the heart attacks trigger in the morning and drinking water in the morning reduces the chances of occurrence of such heart diseases or shooting pains

Further, when you are ill then drink a lot of water as it keeps the flow of germs outwards of your body. Moreover, it would also aggravate your recovery ability. It is an old cure but still works perfectly in recent times.

Story: The Corn Field

A student asks a teacher: What is love?The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy (rice before threshing --- Chawal ki baali) and come back,

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

 The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.

 The student asked: What is marriage then?

 The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

 The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

 The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage

 Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.

7 Self-Discipline Techniques

Tried and tested tips to get you more self-disciplined today

We called Alan 'lucky'. At school we thought of him as an incredibly 'gifted' guitarist and he's since gone on to travel the world making a very good living at what he loves to do.

I became good friends with him and soon learned the truth. I stayed over at Alan's house one night and was awoken at 6am (on a Saturday morning) by the melodious sound of his singing guitar. "What are you doing?" I yawned. "It's 6am."

"I always start the day with two hours of practice and do three hours in the evening. If I didn't I'd be hopeless!"

Then it hit me. Alan was gifted, but this was a gift that had started out small, perhaps even insignificant, to which he'd added, built upon, and massively extended. Alan had made his own gift.

That taught me something profound. Sure, there is such a thing as natural talent but:

Natural talent counts for little unless it's supercharged by self-discipline. Self-discipline can, to some extent, overcome lack of natural talent.

Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential.

Over the years I've come to see self-discipline as an invisible magic. You can't see, taste, or smell it, but its effects are huge. It can transform fat into slim, sag into buff, uninformed into expert, poor into rich, misery into happiness. It's the submerged part of the iceberg others don't see when they see your 'genius'.

Yes, luck plays its role and who doesn't need the 'lucky break'? But self-discipline prepares you to ride that break all the way to the shore. Self-discipline makes you happier; it gives you that sense of real achievement earned through sheer intensity of sustained focus.

If you really want to succeed at a task then self-discipline is essential. We were wrong about Alan to assume that his guitar magic had somehow been dished out to him like a Porsche given to an indulged adolescent on reaching eighteen. We had fallen for the biggest myth in the book.

The myth of easy successCelebrities have never been more visible in our culture. Famous sportspeople, wonderful actors, and musicians are all over the media. But what we don't see are the thousands of hours of super-focused work these people have put in behind the scenes.

It's easy to feel that success comes easily; that it's just a question of self-belief. But anyone who has achieved anything has done so because they've been able to control and direct their own inner lives and actions to the extent that has enabled them to become super-able at what they do.

Life is not a waiting roomLife isn't some waiting room in which to 'kill time' with repetitive self-amusements.

Self-discipline, like a muscle, can be developed. If we were raised in a disciplined environment, we may find it easier to be self-disciplined, but we can all develop more.

The following self-discipline tips have been gleaned from how top achievers manage and develop ability. Try them:

1) Don't wait to 'feel like it'In some ways, exercising self-discipline is harder than ever before. We're all encouraged to feel something should entertain us before it is worthwhile. We become brainwashed with messages like:

"Don't do it unless you feel like it!"

"If it feels good, do it!"

"Yeah, the money's good but I'm not getting up at that time!"

Choosing to do something or not based on whether it feels comfortable/pleasurable or not is a disaster. If I waited to 'feel like it' before exercising or working or making that tricky phone call or putting in the occasional all-nighter to meet a deadline, then I would be much less disciplined than I am now and believe me that would be really bad. : o

"Don't have a wishbone where your backbone should be!"

2) Finish what you start (as a point of honour)Winston Churchill could only offer the British people 'blood, sweat, and tears', but victory was the greater goal for the whole nation. Really think about:

A, How much you want to achieve a greater goal (be it weight loss, a finished novel, new business, or mastering a musical instrument).

B, How serious you really are.

You may think you are serious and even tell others how serious you are, but only your actions really convey how genuine you are. Better you keep silent and get on with it than delude yourself and others.

Focus on the long-term 'big outcome' and self-discipline will naturally follow. Every morning, get up (yes do please get up!) and tell yourself: "Today is not over until I have done..." – whatever you need to do that day. Literally, you can't finish your day until what you set out to do has been done. I'm not kidding. Respect yourself enough to keep your own promises to yourself.

3) Dump the excusesBe honest with yourself. Do the following sound familiar?

"I don't want to overdo it!"

"I'll start it when the weather gets better!"

"Well it's too late now to do it, anyway!" (Remember: your day ain't over 'til it's done.)

"I'm not getting support from others so I won't bother then!"

"I'm not going to do it at all now if you're going to take that attitude!"

Now, lest you think I'm holier than thou – perish the thought. I have used all the above excuses and many more besides to mask my own laziness or fear.

But if you are going to make excuses, don't fall for them yourself. Don't believe your own PR.

In fact, start being honest. Tell yourself:

"I'm not going to go for the run now because I'm too soft and lazy."

Or: "I've decided not to give that speech now because I'm too cowardly!"

I've tried this and you know what? Honesty can be hard to take. Harder, in fact, than actually doing the thing you're trying to avoid. Stop mistaking excuses for credible reasons.

4) Sorry, it's non-negotiableWhen we start to question whether we are really going to get down to some work, whether it's too late to make a start, whether we should watch the James Bond movie on TV instead, we start to 'leak' motivation. Make self-discipline 'non-negotiable'. I'm guessing you don't um and ah about whether to clean your teeth or pull the chain in the toilet (I'm hoping) – these things are unquestioned by you. Likewise, tell yourself: "I'm not going to listen to excuses or wimp-outs – this is non-negotiable!"

Remember the words of Abraham J. Heschel: "Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself."

5) The pull of the external deadlineAlan made promises to himself and he had enough self-respect to keep these promises. No one else put pressure on him to practice so much. But if he had a concert coming up, he worked even harder. External deadlines – working to deliver what others expect from you – can massively boost your drive to succeed. If there are no external deadlines, then make some.

Maybe you do contract work or a publisher is expecting your work by a certain time, so you already have an external deadline. But if you don't, then create an internal one (such as "by July the 1st I'm going to be 12 pounds slimmer") and make it external by telling as many people as possible.

If you need to write 100,000 words in two months, tell other people that on a certain date you are going to get back to them to tell them you've done it. Print off a letter of intent, sign it in front of a friend or several

people, and ask them to remind you of your deadline when it arrives and sign again that you have completed it. External deadlines work.

6) Ignore the naysayersOther people can exert an immensely negative effect... if we let them. Don't let them. Don't let words or even negative facial expressions deter you. Seek the advice of experts by all means and learn from the best, but never accept negativity from people who haven't themselves achieved what it is you are set upon achieving.

If people say what you plan is not possible or sneer at your efforts, don't be deterred by this; rather, use it to fire your energy and strength. Proving others wrong is a greatly underrated pleasure.

7) Don't get hijacked by triviaWe all have a need to complete things, be it a story we are reading or an opera we are composing. If someone starts to tell you a joke (or a piece of gossip), they set an expectation in your brain that you really want fulfilled. But if you have important things to do, things to learn, an important project, then trivial things can 'hijack' this need for completion. Playing endless computer games or watching TV thrillers can leave you feeling satisfied because something has been completed. This is like meeting your physical hunger by eating junk, then no longer wanting to eat real nutrition.

By cutting out (or down) your consumption of TV, gaming, or even newspaper reading, you leave your need for completion free to work on what you really need to be focusing on. You need to feel that things remain unfinished to keep focused and you need to devote valuable time and energy where it's really needed.

Self-discipline is the fuel that gets you places. The happy by-products of discipline are success, self-respect, and improved physical and mental health.

As Alan said: "I have to be true to myself, else I feel like a fraud."

10 Terrific Self Motivating Tips

No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a person can do for another isprovide them with incentives to motivate themselves. Here are ten very effectivestrategies to help you get up and get moving toward actualizing your enormous,untapped potential.

* Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving yourpotential is your comfort zone. Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.

* Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.

* Don’t indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.

*Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is yourbirthright so don’t settle for anything else.

* Spend at least one hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring tapes. Driving to and from work provides an excellent opportunity to listen to self-improvement tapes.

* Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as wetry to accomplish a task. Finish one task before you begin another.

* Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future youaren't able to make things happen in the present.

* Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, “Joy is the serious business ofheaven.”

* Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be justaround the corner.

* Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to the law of expectation then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.

The real tragedy in life is not in how much we suffer, but rather in how much wemiss, so don’t miss a thing.

Charles Dubois once said, “We must be prepared, at any moment, to sacrifice who we are for who we are capable of becoming.”