Birth Order

You're going on a family road trip with your adult siblings. Which of these three scenarios sounds most like you?

1. You've been planning it for weeks, secured the hotel rooms, made restaurant reservations, had the car's oil changed and have a tank full of gas -- and you've mapped out rest stops along the way.

2. You've been rushing all morning trying to get things together, eventually throwing snacks and clothes haphazardly into your bags at the last minute. If you're the one driving, you hope you can find a gas station and fill up your half-empty tank on the road.

3. Family trip? Sounds like fun! You're just along for the ride with no pre-planned contributions except your entertaining funny stories and jokes. You enjoy the snacks your older siblings have packed in the car, and you realize you might need to buy a weather-appropriate coat when you arrive to your destination.

If 1. sounds familiar, you are likely the eldest child.If 2. describes you well, you are probably the middle child.If 3. relates most to you, then you are most likely the baby of the family.

The Firstborn Child: The Achiever

• Higher scholastic achievement• Hard-working, achievement

oriented, many over achievers• Self-disciplined, conscientious• More conformist, pressure to

behave properly, adopt parents’ values, more prone to strict conscience

• Feel quite comfortable with people in authority, more compliant, anxious to please and make things run smoothly

The Firstborn Child: The Achiever

• More easily upset by defeat, quick to show anger, jealousy.

• Leaders, take the initiative, assume responsibility

• Seek to be the center of attention, driven• Rigid, intolerant toward individuals who

don’t meet their standards, often take charge whether others need it or not.

• Strong ego, feel good about themselves• Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious,

serious, cannot make a mistake, scholarly

The Second Born: You can count on Me! • Never has his parents

undivided attention• Always has another

child in front of him who is more advanced in age and skills.

• Often acts as if he were in a race – hyperactive and pushy.

• If the first child is successful, the second is more likely to feel uncertain of self and his abilities

• Usually is opposite of the first child…good/bad; dependable/undependable

• Have good self-esteem if only one of his sex in the family

The Second Born: You can count on Me!

The Middle Child: The Peacemaker• Good at being tactful (diplomatic,

good negotiator)• Greater than average

need for affection.• Less possessive of others due to lack

of ever having parents to themselves.• Struggles to stand out.

The Middle Child: The Peacemaker

• harder for them to break away from their parents

• socially sensitive, put great stock in friendships, and tend to fear every quarrel as end of a friendship.

• feel more loneliness• more androgynous, may be freer in

their behavior in terms of sex-role stereotypical behavior.

The Middle Child: The Peacemaker

• May hold the conviction that people are unfair to him/her.

• Mediator/Negotiator• Loyal to peer group• Independent,

managerial qualities

The Youngest Child: The Life of the Party• May feel less adequate…may not be taken

seriously – never usually does anything first.• May be more dependent….always has

someone to take care of them – may be forced to maintain the “baby” role. Difficult for them to assert their independence.

• Usually has to meet fewer expectations., possibly spoiled, less responsible.

The Youngest Child: The Life of the Party

• Struggles to stand out.• Playful, charming,

more often popular than older siblings.

• Charming, funny, extrovert, shows off.• Dependent, blames others, employs

others, manipulates• People person

The Independent One: The Only Child

• more creative• more ambitious,

higher educational goals

• less outgoing but frequently leaders in school

• more mature, grow-up faster well behaved, appear worldly, get parents’ undivided attention.

• Adapted from:• The New Birth Order Book, Kevin Leman,

October 1998.

Some theories…

http://casey1150stereo.blogspot.ca/Stereotypes and Traits Associated with Birth Order 4:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zw8_SQLZ-AHow Birth Order Affects Who You Are

Birth Order Journal Questions 1. What is your role in your family? Please explain.

2. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being the only child, the oldest, the middle, or the youngest?

3. How does the experience of being the only child, the oldest, the middle, or the youngest affect you as an adult?

4. How does being the only child, the oldest, the middle, or the youngest affect your relationships?

5. How does being the only child, the oldest, the middle, or the youngest affect you in your work?