bits herald october issue 2012

7/28/2019 BITS Herald October Issue 2012

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2/19

INTRODUCING

BAJRANG DESOUZA

In a world where people talk as little as they

do, and think as much as they do before they

talk as little as they do (talk, not think), we

dont often get out a lot. Were far too

worried about what those around us will

think if we go ahead and speak our mind;

worried theyll raise their eyebrows, point atus and accuse us of not getting our facts

right, or not thinking logically, or not making

any damn sense. In a world like this, Bajrang

DeSouza is a

man with a

weapon.

Bajrang

DeSouza has no

fascinating new

way of lookingthings, no

distinct style of

writing, and no

rich mentor to

make him

matter. What he

does have,

however, is a column in a monthly paper. A

column for his usually baseless opinions,

unremarkable observations, and generallyconvoluted passages that juxtapose

overheard pseudo-facts with other surreal,

highly unlikely, completely made-up bits of

information he threw in at random. That is

not the point. This article serves no higher

purpose that shall hold it duty-bound to its,

well, duty. When Bajrang DeSouza writes, he

is neither the hero this campus deserves, nor

the one it needs. That is still not the point.

The point is this.Anybody can be Bajrang.

With T2 and Waves round the corner, it

would appear there were quite a few things

worth talking about in this last month. In

keeping with the true purpose of this

article, I shall now proceed to ignore these,

and talk about that new building coming up

behind B-Dome instead.

Ever since the building grew tall enough to

be spotted by BITSians on their way back

from Bogmalo, a time when theyre most

likely to suddenly go Yaar, kya campus hai

yaar apna. Just look at- wait. Whats

THAT?, rumours

have been flying

around,

explaining the

structures

purpose. Its a

hotel. No, its a

new hostel. No,

wait, its an

engineering

college, for civil

engineering. And

none of them the

exact truth. In my

talks with Mr. Shahi, a suitably important

person, I have confirmed that the building is

actually to be a sort of ashram-cum-hotel,

built to cater to the interests of foreign

nationals who come to Goa to parday, are

disillusioned by it, and then seek spiritual

enlightenment instead. As expected, the

hostel management intends to make a visit

to campus at least a few times every

semester, to talk to the students about life

and answers. On the bright side though, I

am told the head chef who just signed on is

from France, and can make a mean Chicken

Basquaise.

In other news, our beloved GenSecTimes is

down. Or it was down. Then it just had its


3/19

name changed, which is odd, because the

Android app on my cell hasnt changed. And

people said it wouldnt be the same. True

enough, the first post post-namechange was

called Word from the White House. I

assume the reason for this was to make it

clear to all readers that the post they were

reading on a website called CSATimes, was

in fact brought to you by the CSA. Well. At

least we cant blame them for not being

clear.

And now something called GenSecs Corner

has come up, and its more or less the same

thing it was before the site became

CSATimes. Makes me wonder what thepoint of this whole exercise was. All sorts of

unflattering traits have been attributed to

the CSA for effecting this change, but I

havent been able to confirm or deny any of

these, partly because Hargun Singh Oberoi

refused to grant me an interview on the

subject, but mostly because even if he

hadnt, I just wouldnt be able to keep up

with the guy, you know?

Of course, old topics like these dont

interest our new juniors at all. Incidentally,

praise for the enthusiasm of the new batch

seems almost universal, including lots from

the Aero people (who justified their

induction of 88 members a few weeks ago

with a lecture where, in spite of being a

quarter of what it was before T1, the

resultant audience still made a number that

any other club would call a bloody throng)

and the LDC guys (who scored a grand total

of 2 names on the first day of registrations

for their Debating League).

The Music Night dance debacle really ought

to be commented on here, and for this

reason shall not be. We shall instead focus

our attention on the unsuccessful attempt at

publicising Quark in between performances.

While it isnt quite my place to tell you what

they did wrong, I would like to ask youll a

question. Why do Controls Departments

like these even bother with inductions

based on personal interviews and giving

clever answers to tough questions, if at the

end of the day, the best among them cannot

handle a stage?

Where insults are maro-ed, credit must also

be given where it is due. Kudos to the

Waves Beardo, for showing us how

publicity is really done. It is Music Night,

yes? Good. Concentrate on the music acts

this Waves.

Oh well. As a parting note, let me remind

you that October is now upon us. While

around 50-60 of us have spent the last few

weeks at NetTech learning what some

seniors have called the reason (they) got

placed, the rest of us know better than to

waste our time on insignificant matters

such as the aforementioned, and shall

instead invest in the wonder that is Zephyr.

With a whole bunch of new events this year,

including dodgeball, cheerleading, and for

some reason, a Mock MUN (read Mock-

Model-UN), we ought to have more than a

little to look forward to.

The thoughts and opinions expressed in this

column are almost entirely the writers own,

and come pretty damn near to not

representing the views of the BITS Herald asa whole.


4/19

Things you didn't know about

PlacementsExtra curriculars are of little or no help

when it comes to placements.Big shots of the likes of Facebook and

Schlumberger are unwilling to visit a

campus that is less than 10 years old.CGPA can only take you so far- Once

you've crossed the CG cutoff for a particular

company, there's very little that your CGPA

can do for you. Your skills and the interview

are all that matter from then on.

Duals (other than perhaps, MSc.

Mathematics) are of little or no help on the

placement front.Companies generally remain unmoved if

you have an additional degree in Physics,

Chemistry, Biology or Economics.

Non-Tech does not necessarily imply

Consultancy. Those applying to aconsultancy must, at the very least, know

what a consultancy is.Crunching NumbersThe average package for CS students this

time around is a whopping 9.3 lakh as

compared to around 7.2 last semester.15 out of the 60 people sitting for

placements with a CG of below 6 have been

placed so far. A large number of people in

this bracket had remained unplaced even

last year. 100 % placements are a myth, we

are told. No college in the country is able to

place everyone.

Chemical remains a huge concern for the

placement team with only a couple of people

finding jobs in their core sector. This is

primarily due to the fact thatPSUs ( 70% of

the companies in this sector ) are compelled

to stay away from private institutions.Epic Systems comes out on top of the most-

wanted companies list with a pay package

offering ofUSD 100,000. 7 people from this

campus have been called on for final

interviews.Numbers are virtually the same for CS and

IS as well as for EEE and E&I, indicating

that there isn't much discrimination done by

the companies on these grounds.Placement Advice from the Co-

ordinator

Look beyond the CGPA- Find your

passions, cultivate skills and establish

expertise in your field of interest. Do not

believe that a good CGPA alone will get you

the job.Do not rely on the Placement Teamalone-

There are many companies which cannot be

called for on-campus placements becausethere aren't enough people with the


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requisite skill. So if you're interested in

designing, advertising or any such field,

apply off campus.Get out of the fest mode- Our campus, it is

said, is much too occupied with its fests. This

in turn makes us suffer on technical fronts.

The atmosphere for technical research is

near zero, and it's not only the faculty that is

to blame here. It isn't surprising our

placement numbers are inferior to the other

campuses.Time your PS-II right- If your CGPA is

slightly below 6 or slightly below 7, you'd be

advised to take up PS-II in the first semester

itself. As far as eligibility goes, one is able to

sit for nearly every company if one has

crossed 7. Even at above 6, the door remains

open for you for a majority of the

companies.Accumulate COPs and SOPs, especially if

you're below 6- They give the interviewer

scope to grill you on a topic that you know

much about. These are critical for

companies which have a low or no CG cutoff.The Big Guns

Companies, The numbers taken and pay

packages offered.

Flipkart 02 @ 13.5 LPA

PayPal 05 @ 16.5 LPA

National Instruments 04 @ 10 LPA

Mu-Sigma 12 @ 18 Lakhs / 3years

Capillary 04 @ 10 / 6 LPAHarman Computers 05 @ 7 LPA

TataTech 08 @ 5 LPA

Shell 02 @ 12 LPA

Sabre 04 @ 6.5 LPA

CISCO 23 @ 8.5 LPA-CS/IS

7.2 LPA-non CS/IS

Oracle 28 @ 7.2 LPA


6/19

The (Not So Official) Book Bank

After it was discovered that DoJMA was publishing an article on the misdoings of the

President, the article in question has been censored in the interest of maintaining his

public image. DoJMA has no intentions of slander, but we believe that the general body

must be made aware of the work done by its elected representatives- both good and

bad. The article in question was about the book bank fiasco, the questionable legality of

poster sales on SWD and the possibility of our technical fest being postponed, the

reasons for which point to gross carelessness.DoJMA condemns press censorship to protect the image of those in power and despite

the threats to the department, will do its best to highlight issues in a fair and just

manner.


7/19

Prof. Suresh Ramaswamy, or SuRa as he

was fondly called, has been an integral

part of the BITS family for the last threedecades. A student of the 1980 Physics

batch at Pilani, he later rejoined BITS as a

faculty-member of the Physics

department. As the HOD of the Physics

Department, he played an integral role in

shaping the department at the Goa

campus. Despite having shouldered the

responsibilities of Chief Warden and

later, Dean of Administration, Prof.

Ramaswamy found a place in the heart ofhis students with his lucid explanations

and approachability.

In the memory of this great

teacher, his students initiated the Prof.

Suresh Ramaswamy Memorial Fund. The

Memorial Fund is an attempt to

institutionalize his legacy by providing

financial assisting students, with an

enthusiasm as close to that shown byRamaswamy Sir himself. The first step is

to establish awards and scholarships in

his name. Donations which can be made

online via the BITSAA site and awhopping 91% of the minimum target of

10,000 USD was been achieved within

just a few weeks of his demise.

The fourth edition of the BITS

World 5km Run on September 23 was

dedicated to Prof. Ramaswamy this year.

The run sought to promote the

enthusiasm that Prof. SuRa showed. This

years run celebrated his legacy, andchampion the adoption of a healthy

lifestyle amongst BITSians worldwide.

As an inspirational figure, Prof.

Suresh Ramaswamy shall live on in our

hearts; not only here on campus, but

wherever he has left his everlasting

impression. Memory will occasionally

lead us back to his energizing smile,

reminding us that we too can make ourlives sublime.


8/19

Our

institute

has never

been

celebrated

in technical

domains,

especially

when

compared

to some of

the other

premier

engineering

schools

around the

country. Some of these doubts seem to be

well founded in their origin. Take, for

example, the technical clubs on our

campus.At the Aerodynamics Club, lack

of funding is a perennial problem.

Despite being the largest club on campus

(in terms of membership), the club

receives virtually no funding for its

activities. Last year the club expenses

were extremely high, with money spent

on new equipment, materials as well as

travel for festivals. The entire cost was

covered by members paying out of their

own pockets, so much so, that certain

members decided to leave as the cost

was getting out of hand. This year, they

have been allocated a nominal fund of Rs.

12000.

ERC is another club which has voiced

complaints over lack of funding. With no

money, there has been no incentive to

start work on new projects, despite there

being several ideas on the table.Kushagra Nigam, one of the core

members and head of the Intelligent

Sensible Input/ Output Device team, has

spent Rs.

50000 from

his own

pocket on

assorted

materials for

the club.

There are a

lot of people

on campus

with an

inclination

towards

technical

activities,

but the fact

that they have to spend a lot from their

own pockets dissuades most of them, he

said. With no room allocated to the club,

he and several others are forced to keep

expensive electronics in their own room.

The absence of faculty involvement has

also proved to be a major hindrance. The

IEEE chapter on campus also faces

similar problems, with some of their

members complaining about essential

utilities like Shell, GitHub, MIT

OpenCourseware and Coursera not

working on the campus LAN. The

unavailability of labs is also hindering

the progress of a lot of their projects and

teams of twenty odd members meet in

the C-Wing corridors to work.

Despite these issues, the active members

of every club are working hard to follow

their passion. The ERC has around eight

projects in the pipeline which they

expect to complete by the end of this

year. The Aero clubs lecture series isvery popular with the 2012 batch, and

the club continues to build its profile

through hard work and passion. The


9/19

Hexapod Project, sponsored by the

DRDO, is one of many ambitious projects

the IEEE is aiming to complete this year.

The Automobile club, which was

dissolved last year, is on its way to being

revived by a few passionate third year

students under the banner of the SAE.

Its easy to blame the technical clubs and

organizations on campus for being

dormant (elite, even. But thats another

story), and shake our heads over the lack

technical interest in our campus. The

truth is, however, that we have to put

ourselves in their shoes to best

understand their problems.


10/19

One on One withVrushali Prasade

With her dimpled smile, she comes

across as just another fun-loving

teenager. But once shes armed with a

table tennis racquet, you dont want to beher opponent. BITS Pilani Goa Campus

proudly welcomes its very own

International Table Tennis player,

Vrushali Prasade.

She represented India in the US Open

and Taiwan Open in 2009 where she

achieved startling success by reaching

the quarterfinals. Also to her credit are

bronze medals in Junior Girls (Under 17)

team and Womens team (open) for

Maharashtra in the National

Championship, 2011. She has also been a

regular champion at the Maharashtra

State Championship having won a Silver

medal in U-17 girls team, gold medals in

U-21 girls team and womens (open)

team. The list doesnt end here, she has

dozens of medals to boast of, but it wont

take you more than five minutes with her

to learn that she is as humble as they

come.

A comical incident led to her stumbling

upon the world of table tennis. One

evening when she was in fourth

standard, she just took off from homewith a friend to catch a glimpse of a litter

of puppies in the neighbourhood.

Little did she know that she would lose

her way back home. But luckily she was

spotted by a family friend and taken

home. Her parents, tired of her mindless

meanderings, decided to enrol her in TT

classes to keep her occupied. To

everyones surprise she displayed a

natural flair for the game and with the

hard work that she put in, there was no

turning back.

In Vrushalis words- I play TT because I

enjoy playing and not because I think of

it as my career or a road to success.

Over the years Vrushali has not just

made her parents but the entire country

proud. Her passion and love for TableTennis is what makes her truly invincible

in the sport.


11/19

60 Days of SummerPS meant a lot of things to different

people. For some it was time to delve

deeper into the world of

microcontrollers and data processing,

while others got industrial exposure

through filing, maintaining websites and

filling up their PS diaries.

Students on the higher end of the CGPA

spectrum paint a very rosy picture ofPractice School 1. The good PS stations

provided many research prospects,

enhancing the practical knowledge of the

students. Guided by their instructors,

they were assigned technical projects in

groups making PS a fruitful experience.

On the other hand, the mere mention of

PS to some students brings back painful

memories of a god-forsaken village, fromthe Flintstones era. As the students had

not completed all of their core courses,

they were handed out work unrelated to

their specific branches which did not test

their engineering skills at all. For some

unfortunate few, accommodations were

as bad as their PS station. And if the

number of people crammed into one

room werent enough, there were rats

fighting for their share of space too. The

food provided by the station at least had

one positive effect- it made the students

appreciate Sunday lunches on campus

and cherish them much more. Aparticular incident focusing on an

altercation between a group of students

and their instructor led to unpleasant

consequences (Read: PS grades).

Attendance wasnt strict in most of the

PS stations and BITSians could manage

by just showing up two days a week. This

gave them an opportunity to hang outwith friends and spend pretty much a PS-

free summer. Although it embellished

their CG cards, for most people, the main

purpose of Practice School was lost.


12/19

Sarath Kumars Story

Laid back and jovial, Sarath Kumar comes

across as the quintessential BITSGian. He

was the unexpected hero in this semesterscampus placements where he proved that,

contrary to popular perception, CGPA is not

in any way, a measure of your knowledge

base. With a low CGPA of around 5, Sarath

sat for Direct-I placements (which had no

CGPA cutoff) only to take home the jaw-

dropping pay package of 9LPA, a dream formany 8 and 9 pointers as well. We caught

up with the ever-so-casual Sarath for a

small talk, and here is an excerpt:-

Q: What was running through your mind

when you walked into the interview room?

A: When I walked in, I didnt really want to

be placed. Not because I hated the idea of a

job, but I was annoyed that I had to suit up,

and sit through the whole process, which I

thought was irrelevant around that time. To

be honest I just wanted to get theplacements over with and get on with my

life.

Q:What kind of questions were you asked in

the interview?

A: The interview had two rounds, technical

and HR. Technical round had only subject

related questions; and HR round had both,

technical and general. By technical, I mean

networking, not core electronics.

Q:Did you know they were going to ask you

networking questions before you went for theinterview?

A: No, I heard they were asking networking

questions when I was sitting in the

conference room. That was when I was

slightly relieved.

Q: Why were you relieved?

A: I had done a CISCO certified networking

course. It wasnt a big deal as they said,because many people who work there have

done the same. Doing the course is not the

important thing, but the knowledge you

acquire about networking, is.

Q:What made them select you?

A: I spoke them as if they were my brothers.

We spoke about everything- not just

academics. And I smiled a lot! I was brutally

honest with them.

Q: Do you want to pursue higher studies?

What are your plans for the future?

A: I dont really have a plan right now.

Getting into a higher degree programmewould be tough with my CGPA but MBA is a

distant possibility. However, you never

know.

Q: Your CGPA wasnt the best around, so

what gave you the edge over the other

candidates?

A: There was a coding round in the

interview, which only eleven people got

through. So, I got lucky there. I didnt knowprogramming that well, but what was asked

was my cup of tea, thankfully.

Q: But you werent actually luckythroughout, though. You knew nearly

everything they asked you.

A: I knew networking. In the beginning,

they asked what I wanted to be asked. I told

them I knew networking, and so I did well.

Q:What factors do you think come into play

during an interview?

A: I think luck matters a lot. If the right

company, with the right profile comes your

way, then you can get the job. So pray every

day!Q: Youve achieved cult hero status here in

BITS. Many juniors are amazed at what you

have done. Whats your message to them?

A: Dont have too much desire for anything.Dont expect too much. If you get something,

be happy, but even if you dont, be okay. Justtake it on the chin and move on.

Ending on a bright note, Sarath claims that

he is a spiritual person at heart and he says

that must have made a difference.


13/19

Startups GaloreJam-packed notice-boards, Facebook shares

and DC spams have left the common-

BITSian wondering why the sudden boom

of start-ups on campus?

Want to hang out with a bunch of friends?

How about a late night delivery from KFC?

Or an easy ride to a local destination?

Today, theres a BITSian start-up at every

corner just to make life on a highway a little

easier. You can always count on a group of

entrepreneurs to fill the gaps. So why this

sudden fad of starting up?

This could, in part, be attributed to a course

called NVC New Venture Creation, in

association with CEL and BITSAA. This

being its pilot edition in the Goa campus,

NVC seeks to provide hands-on experience

for creating and sustaining a start-up. It

provides a framework and mentorship

programme to aspiring entrepreneurs,

while the most promising 3 teams receive

on-campus incubation and pre-seed

funding. A total of 11 teams are registered

for this course from our campus.

Some of the functional startups include

Tripedia (off-beat travel destinations,

Cubito (discounted cab-pool service),

CrazyWheels and WeDeli (food delivery), all

of them doing fairly well as of now.

Though we cannot ignore the fact that

despite being a top Engineering college,

there is a surprising dearth of Science and

Tech oriented start-ups on campus. Most

start-ups seen today cater to not-so-

significant issues and are fairly random. We

are yet to witness a breakthrough start-upthat would leave an indelible mark on

campus.


14/19

We caught up with a few entrepreneurs on

campus, who shared their views on starting

up.

Speculating on the failure of most startups,

Misna Sameer, one of the founders of

Tripedia says, Many startups fail to fare

well later because of a lot of

reasons. Starting up is difficult, so once the

initial excitement of starting up wears off,

people may get disillusioned if things aren't

working out. They tend to quit. Also there is

a lot uncertainty involved in starting-up.

Your team may have problems; there maybe need for more funds to expand and the

like. A lot of things can go wrong.

Sahil Babbar, co-founder of CrazyWheels

cites unforeseen problems as the major

hurdle for novice start-ups. To be

successful, the aim should be to cover up

the holes of previous start-ups of the same

kind. The start-ups must uphold the true

spirit of entrepreneurship and not just be

for the sake of being.

Vice President of CEL and member ofSpectrum Casuals, Chaitali Pandit says, A

good idea isn't enough to make a start-up

successful. Market, entry timing, team

structure, strong strategies, benchmarking,

a solid marketing, outreach plan and

revenue model, all decide the fate of the

start-up. Ideas themselves arent worth

muchits the people behind the ideas that

matter. Also, some end up creating a Me-too

product which not only suffers cut throatcompetition but is soon overtaken. Based on

my personal experiences of working with

start-ups and in CEL, I have realised that

while some start-ups are genuinely

addressing a particular problem in the

society, some start-ups do lack a USP. A

true entrepreneurial start-up should not

only solve the glitch that exist in a particular

sector but should also make profits.


15/19

A new trend is seen to be springing up

amongst the young adults of the country.

No, I am not referring to the ownership

of a Blackberry Smartphone or the latest

iPad. I am talking about the now

commonplace sight of groups of four or

five, scattered about our campus,

huddled with their laptops and

important-looking notes. An astonishing

number of our peers are now taking to

entrepreneurship in a big way.

Everywhere, there is a new start up, an

idea for a new start up, or a person

looking for an idea for a new start up.

One such person is Rathin Shah.

Now in his second year here at BITS Goa,

Rathin has already drawn a considerable

amount of interest and adulation from

his friends. He is increasingly getting

recognition as the boy behind the Paper

Pallet idea.

What started out as an online

competition of startups on the website

toptalent.in, led to him forming a team

with his seniors Radhika Parik, MisnaSameer and Anirudh Wodeyar. They

participated in Epsilon - BITS Pilani's All

India Business Plan competition, hosted

in Pilani; and stood in fourth place with

their business idea of renting out the

clothes of high-end designer boutiques

located across the country.

With this getting to his name, Rathin

went home to his father's company inGujarat, which makes corrugated boxes,

called pallets. These pallets, made of

wood, are designed to lift huge amount of

weights and have the capacity of holding

up to three thousand kilograms, while

still being light enough to be lifted by

forklifts and cranes. The disadvantage

with these wooden pallets was that the

wood would deteriorate after just two or

three uses, and would require the cutting

of more and more trees to make newer

pallets.

With the ambitious intention to work

around this, it struck Rathin that a lot of

trees and money could be saved if the

corrugation boxes were made out of

recycled Paper instead of wood. If you're

wondering how something as unwieldy

as paperwas expected to lift as much as

3000 kgs of weight, I don't blame you. As

Rathin confronted the same problem, his

father supportively helped him out by

lending him a team from his factory, and

together they worked out a system for

the Recyclable Paper Pallet. Their initial

submission to FICCI (Federation of

Indian Chambers of Commerce and

Industry) caused them to face their first

obstacle when they failed the test tocheck the water resistance of the pallet.

Though disappointed with this early

setback, Rathin redoubled his efforts and

set out to find a hydro repellent chemical

that would make his Paper Pallet not

only water resistant, but oil resistant too

- and succeeded. With a successful

second submission, their design for the

Recyclable Paper Pallet was finally

approved by FICCI. But his problemswere far from over.


16/19

Following were even more rigorous tests

conducted by the International Authority

of Pallets, located in Dubai. Once there,

Rathin realized he was going to face his

second and biggest problem so far. The

Authority required that the pallet be able

to be pulled by ropes too, not just

forklifts and cranes, as Rathin and his

father's team had prepared for. Faced

with a deadline of just three days, and

the Herculean task of restructuring his

design from scratch, one would think this

was the end of Rathin's idea of

Recyclable Paper Pallets. But it was not

so. They redesigned the whole system

using the idea of honeycomb patterns,

within the given time span. When it

finally got approved after this tumultuous

journey, it was a proud and satisfied

Rathin Shah who described its benefits.

Unlike the wooden pallets which called

for the frequent felling of trees, the paper

pallet uses recyclable paper. This simple,

yet effective idea utilizes paper to its

fullest and extends the lifetime of the

pallet manifold when compared to its

wooden counterpart. It proves itself as

the more economic option as well, as the

taxes levied by the government on

recyclable items is substantially lower.

He also believes there is a huge market

for it in the future, given that it uses

ecologically clean recyclable paper.

These benefits have also been spotted by

countries across the world, as Rathin's

father has been receiving orders for this

Recyclable Paper Pallet in large numbers,

and production is now in process. As if

this confirmation of his achievement

wasn't enough, when Rathin presented

his idea to Stanford University's

Technological Entrepreneurship Course,

it became one of the seventy teams

across India to get selected.


17/19

She has been the prime subject of street

chats at BPGC ever since she had a little'street accident' right outside the college.

She made it boom with her jaw fracture

and missing incisor. Her theatre

performances on stage during the

previous semesters left the audience

awestruck - there usually wasn't any,

unless you count the judges.

So let us discover more about SanjanaRamachandran, and her shortcomings.

Mainly why she's having to write this

herself, especially since its so easy to get

written about these days.

To begin with, she is very involved in

campus activities. She is an integral

member of this campus. And anyone who

doesn't think so shouldnt write about

her - Oh wait.

No, but seriously. The things she does for

attention - lose a tooth, for instance.

You'd think that'd provide any serious

writer with tons of material, but no one

has even probed her about her campus

activities since. Maybe if she takes up a

course in belly dancing she will get the

true love and recognition she deserves.

And if you think she has no interest inacademics, that she spends her life

carousing about, endangering lives in the

process, and making angry faces at her

juniors then she says she is happy.

Happy that you at least think of her.

Sanjana Ramachandran has never done

any social work. In the summer following

her first year, she claims to have

contemplated teaching underprivileged

children. It is usually the period when a

lot of conscientious students like her

good self-take up alleviating society of

illiteracy, global warming and other such

pesky situations. However, she said herparents stopped her from doing so, citing

that they did not want any more scarred

children on their hands.

No one has ever suggested that Sanjana

set up a Facebook fan page. When

interviewed on the subject, she said, I

like to live an open life with no secrets,

so at the risk of embarrassment, I'll

admit that there have been suggestionsof a Sanjana Hate Group, but I humbly

refused to be a part of it. As Groucho

Marx once said, I refuse to be part of any

club that will hate me.

Ok, she might have tweaked that a little.

Arent you stunned at her values? I

know I am.

She did not contest for the post of the

General Secretary of the college, butSanjana expresses now what a strategic

mistake it was, in her ultimate goal to

attain utter popularity and affection.


18/19

Contesting would've meant a beautiful

window to seek the attention of the

entire campus, and the visibility she has

always wanted!

I salute the brilliance and simplicity of

the idea. I would want to do it, if werolled back in time.

Sanjanas charismatic, better half (at

least name-wise) said that, "The ideology

that girls can't work devotedly is

ridiculous." While it pains Sanjanas

heart deeply to disagree with her, she

believes all signs point to the opposite.

Women make bad drivers, and the

United States of America even got its first

African American president before its

first female president. You know you're

part of the wrong gender when that

happens. We should be called the 'unfair

sex.'

A memorable performance during the

colleges inter-hostel fest, Zephyr 2011,

ensured that Sanjanas rapping skills

would go unquestioned for years to

come. Booed off the stage with chants of

the infamous song, Friday by Rebecca

Black, she and her friends vowed to use a

background track while performing next

time. "It went pretty dirty and it's not

really a pleasant place to be in. But, I

proved myself least to some people and I

am not really worried about that," she

bravely added.

If anyone had bothered to ask her about

the new semester, Sanjana says she too

wouldve expressed excitement. She said

to the interviewer, I am an affable, social

person and love to meet new people. I

am pleasant and caring by nature, but

since I live 'a closed circle kinda life,' no

one can attest to that.

But you have my word.

And well, that's all about Sanjana, folks. I

hope I have you convinced that she

deserved to be written about. But no one

did write about her, and a girl's gotta do

what a girl's gotta do. I took the road less

travelled, like so many brave men before

me. I hope I'm setting an example for

generations to come. On a parting note,

to emphasize her all-rounder, go-getter,

event-boom-maker personality, here are

some of the nice things people have said

about me. I mean her.

"She is my soul mate." - The Charismatic

Sanjukta Krishnagopal

"I'm going to use you in my Psychology

project on socially inappropriate humor."

- Harman Singh

"Uncharismatic who?" - Anonymous


19/19

bits herald october issue 2012

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