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BRIEF CONTENTS Preface xix PART 1 UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION CHAPTER 1 An Orientation to Interpersonal Communication 3 CHAPTER 2 Forming and Using Social Perceptions 37 CHAPTER 3 Intercultural Communication 69 CHAPTER 4 Verbal Messages 101 CHAPTER 5 Nonverbal Messages 129 CHAPTER 6 Communication in the Life Cycle of Relationships 159 PART 2 DEVELOPING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS CHAPTER 7 Listening Effectively 195 CHAPTER 8 Holding Effective Conversations 225 CHAPTER 9 Supporting Others 257 CHAPTER 10 Communicating Personal Information: Disclosure and Privacy 291 CHAPTER 11 Using Interpersonal Influence 325 CHAPTER 12 Managing Conflict 357 PART 3 USING COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS CHAPTER 13 Communicating in Intimate Relationships: Families, Friendships, Marriages, and Other Life Partnerships 395 CHAPTER 14 Communicating in the Workplace 429 Glossary 467 References 480 Photo Credits 493 Index 494 v

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Page 1: BrIEf ConTEnTs - Oxford University Pressglobal.oup.com/us/companion.websites/9780199836888/book/...BrIEf ConTEnTs Preface xix PArT 1 UnDErsTAnDInG InTErPErsonAL CoMMUnICATIon ChAPTEr

BrIEf ConTEnTsPreface xix

PArT 1 UnDErsTAnDInG InTErPErsonAL CoMMUnICATIon

ChAPTEr 1 ● An Orientation to Interpersonal Communication 3

ChAPTEr 2 ● Forming and Using Social Perceptions 37

ChAPTEr 3 ● Intercultural Communication 69

ChAPTEr 4 ● Verbal Messages 101

ChAPTEr 5 ● Nonverbal Messages 129

ChAPTEr 6 ● Communication in the Life Cycle of Relationships 159

PArT 2 DEVELoPInG InTErPErsonAL CoMMUnICATIon sKILLs

ChAPTEr 7 ● Listening Effectively 195

ChAPTEr 8 ● Holding Effective Conversations 225

ChAPTEr 9 ● Supporting Others 257

ChAPTEr 10 ● Communicating Personal Information: Disclosure and Privacy 291

ChAPTEr 11 ● Using Interpersonal Influence 325

ChAPTEr 12 ● Managing Conflict 357

PArT 3 UsInG CoMMUnICATIon sKILLs To IMProVE rELATIonshIPs

ChAPTEr 13 ● Communicating in Intimate Relationships: Families, Friendships, Marriages, and Other Life Partnerships 395

ChAPTEr 14 ● Communicating in the Workplace 429

Glossary 467

References 480

Photo Credits 493

Index 494v

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ConTEnTsPreface xix

PArT 1 UnDErsTAnDInG InTErPErsonAL CoMMUnICATIon

ChAPTEr 1 ● An Orientation to Interpersonal Communication 3

Interpersonal Communication Messages 6Canned Plans and Message Scripts 7

Interpersonal Communication Is a Complex Process 8

The Purposes of Interpersonal Communication 10We Share Meaning 10We Meet Social Goals 12We Manage Our Personal Identity 13We Conduct Our Relationships 14

Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication 14Interpersonal Communication Is Continuous 14Interpersonal Communication Is Transactional 15Interpersonal Communication Is Irreversible 15Interpersonal Communication Is Situated 15Interpersonal Communication Is Indexical 16

Ethics and Interpersonal Communication 17

The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication 18

Diversity and Interpersonal Communication 19

Diverse Voices: Lessons from American Experience 20

Interpersonal Communication Competence and You 21Acquire Interpersonal Communication Knowledge 22Increase Interpersonal Communication Skill 22Be Motivated to Demonstrate Competence 23Develop Behavioral Flexibility 24Develop Interpersonal Communication Improvement Plans 24Understanding Social Media and Interpersonal Communication 25Traits of Social Media Technology 27

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 29

Summary 30

Chapter Resources 31

The Social Media FacTor

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What You Should Be Able to Explain 31What You Should Be Able to Do 31Key Words 32Apply Your Knowledge 32Skill Practice 33Inter-Act with Media 33What’s on the Web 35

ChAPTEr 2 ● Forming and Using Social Perceptions 37

The Perception Process 38Attention and Selection 39Organization 40Interpretation 40Dual Processing in Perception 41

Perceiving Others 42Reducing Uncertainty 42Impression Formation 43Making Attributions 44Understanding and Overcoming Person-Perception Biases 45

Self-Perception: Self-Concept and Self-Esteem 50Self-Concept 51Self-Esteem 52Culture and Self-Perceptions 54Accuracy of Self-Concept and Self-Esteem 55

Diverse Voices: I Am . . . 56

Improving Self-Perception 58The Effects of Self-Perception on Communication 59

Human Factors in Using Social Media 60Digital Self-Disclosure 61Digital Social Connection 61Convenience 61Digital Apprehension 61Miscommunication 62

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 62

Summary 63

Chapter Resources 64What You Should Be Able to Explain 64What You Should Be Able to Do 64Key Words 64

The Social Media FacTor

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Apply Your Knowledge 64Skill Practice 65Inter-Act with Media 66What’s on the Web 67

ChAPTEr 3 ● Intercultural Communication 69

Culture and Communication 71

Dominant and Co-Cultures 73Gender 73Race 74Ethnicity 74Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity 75Religion 75Social Class 76Generation 76Cultural Identity 77

How Cultures Differ 77The Value of the Individual vs. the Group 78

Diverse Voices: Individualism and Collectivism 80

Attitudes toward Predictability and Uncertainty 82Attitudes about Social Power Distribution 83Masculine vs. Feminine Orientation 84Time Orientation 85The Importance of Context for Sharing Meaning 86

Developing Intercultural Communication Competence 88Barriers to Effective Intercultural Communication 88The Pyramid Mode of Intercultural Competence 91

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 94

Summary 95

Chapter Resources 96What You Should Be Able to Explain 96What You Should Be Able to Do 96Key Words 96Apply Your Knowledge 97Skill Practice 97Communication Improvement Plan: Intercultural Communication 97Inter-Act with Media 98What’s on the Web 99

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ChAPTEr 4 ● Verbal Messages 101

Verbal Message Fundamentals 103What Is a Language? 103Characteristics of Language 105

Diverse Voices: “Mommy, Why Does Raj Talk Funny?” 106

Meaning in the Language Itself 109Understanding Semantics 109Guidelines for Improving Message Semantics 110

Verbal Meaning Within the Conversational Context 115Guidelines for Improving Pragmatic Understanding 117

Meaning Within the Social and Cultural Context 119Guidelines for Improving Sociolinguistic Understanding 122

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 123

Summary 124

Chapter Resources 124What You Should Be Able to Explain 124What You Should Be Able to Do 124Key Words 125Apply Your Knowledge 125Skill Practice 125Communication Improvement Plan: Verbal Communication 126Inter-Act with Media 126What’s on the Web 127

ChAPTEr 5 ● Nonverbal Messages 129

Characteristics and Functions of Nonverbal Messages 131Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 132Functions of Nonverbal Messages 133

Types of Nonverbal Communication 135Body Language 135Paralanguage 139Spatial Usage 140Self-Presentation Cues 143

Cultural and Gender Variations in Nonverbal Communication 145

Variations in Body Language 145Variations in Paralanguage 147Variations in Spatial Usage 147

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Diverse Voices: Latin American and Anglo American Use of Personal Space in Public Places 148

Variations in Self-Presentation Cues 150

Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal Messages 151Sending Nonverbal Messages 151

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 152

Interpreting Nonverbal Messages 153

Summary 153

Chapter Resources 154What You Should Be Able to Explain 154What You Should Be Able to Do 154Key Words 155Apply Your Knowledge 155Skill Practice 155Communication Improvement Plan: Nonverbal Communication 156Inter-Act with Media 156What’s on the Web 157

ChAPTEr 6 ● Communication in the Life Cycle of Relationships 159

The Functions of Communication in a Relationship 161The Constitutive Function 161The Instrumental Function 161The Indexical Function 162

Describing Relationships 163Types of Relationships 163Dimensions of Relationships 165

Self-Disclosure and Feedback in Relationships 168Understanding Self-Disclosure and Feedback: The Johari Window 168The Role of Self-Disclosure in Relationships 170Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 171

Relationship Life Cycles: How Relationships Change 172Turning Points 172Stage One: Beginning Relationships 173

Diverse Voices: Modern Love: Close Enough to Touch Was Too Far Apart 174

Stage Two: Developing Relationships 176Stage Three: Sustaining Relationships 179Stage Four: Relationship Decline 183

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Social Media and Relationship Closeness 186Media Richness and Social Cues 186

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 187

Summary 188

Chapter Resources 189What You Should Be Able to Explain 189Key Words 189Apply Your Knowledge 190Skill Practice 190Communication Improvement Plan: Relationships 192Inter-Act with Media 192What’s on the Web 193

PArT 2 DEVELoPInG InTErPErsonAL CoMMUnICATIon sKILLs

ChAPTEr 7 ● Listening Effectively 195

Challenges to Effective Listening 197Personal and Cultural Styles of Listening 197Listening Apprehension 200Dual Processes in Listening 201

Diverse Voices: How I Learned to Shut Up and Listen 202

The Active Listening Process 202Attending 202Understanding 205Remembering 209Critically Evaluating 211Responding 213

Digital Listening Skills 214Attending and Understanding Digital Messages 215Critically Evaluating Digital Messages 215Recognizing Underlying Motives, Values, and Ideologies 216Avoiding Overdependence 216

Summary 216

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 217

Chapter Resources 218What You Should Be Able to Explain 218What You Should Be Able to Do 218Key Words 218

The Social Media FacTor

The Social Media FacTor

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Apply Your Knowledge 218Skill Practice 220Communication Improvement Plan: Listening 221Inter-Act with Media 221What’s on the Web 223

ChAPTEr 8 ● Holding Effective Conversations 225

Conversation: Definition, Structure, and Variation 227Characteristics of Conversation 227Variation in Conversation 229

Guidelines for Effective Conversationalists 234General Conversation Guidelines 234Skills for Conversing with Strangers 238

Cultural Variation in Conversation 244

Digital Conversation Skills 245Awareness of Audience 245

Diverse Voices: Conversational Ballgames 246

Conversational Spontaneity 248Abruptness of Disengagement 248Multiplicity of Conversations 249Managing Privacy 250

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 250

Summary 251

Chapter Resources 251What You Should Be Able to Explain 251What You Should Be Able to Do 251Key Words 252Apply Your Knowledge 252Conversation 252Skill Practice 253Communication Improvement Plan: Conversation 254Inter-Act with Media 254What’s on the Web 255

ChAPTEr 9 ● Supporting Others 257

Empathizing 259Three Types of Empathy 261Guidelines for Improving Empathy 262

Supportive Messages 263

The Social Media FacTor

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Characteristics of Effective and Ineffective Support Messages 264Supporting Positive Feelings: Celebratory Messages 265Supporting Negative Feelings: Comforting Messages 266

Supportive Interaction Phases 267

Supportive Message Skills 268Clarifying Supportive Intentions 268Buffering Face Threats 270Using Other-Centered Messages 273

Diverse Voices: “Which Is My Good Leg?” 274

Framing Information 276Giving Advice 278

Gender and Cultural Similarities and Differences in Supporting 280

Using Social Media to offer Empathy and Support 281Increased Social Distance 281Increased Presence of Others 281Benefits for Apprehensive Individuals 282Ease of Management 282Memorializing Others through Digital Communication 283

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 284

Summary 284

Chapter Resources 285What You Should Be Able to Explain 285What You Should Be Able to Do 285Key Words 286Apply Your Knowledge 286Inter-Action Dialogue: Supporting Others 286Conversation 286Skill Practice 287Communication Improvement Plan: Empathizing and Supporting 288Inter-Act with Media 288What’s on the Web 289

ChAPTEr 10 ● Communicating Personal Information: Disclosure and Privacy 291

The Disclosure-Privacy Dialectic 293

Communication Privacy Management Theory 294Factors that Influence Disclosure and Privacy Rules 295

Effects of Disclosure and Privacy on Relationships 297Effects on Intimacy 298

The Social Media FacTor

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Effects on Reciprocity 298Effects of Disclosure and Privacy on Information Co-ownership 299

Self-Disclosure and Privacy Management Skills 299Self-Disclosure Skills 299Protecting Privacy 306

Personal Feedback Messages 308Asking for Personal Feedback 309Praising 310Constructively Criticizing 312

Digitally Managing Your Personal Information 314Blurred Public and Private Distinction 314Ability of Others to Alter Digital Presence 315

Summary 315

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 316

Chapter Resources 317What You Should Be Able to Explain 317What You Should Be Able to Do 317Key Words 317Apply Your Knowledge 317Inter-Action Dialogue: Disclosure 317Conversation 318Skill Practice 319Communication Improvement Plan: Developing Relationships through Disclosure and Feedback 322Inter-Act with Media 322What’s on the Web 323

ChAPTEr 11 ● Using Interpersonal Influence 325

Interpersonal Power 326Sources of Power 327Principles of Power 329

Interpersonal Persuasion 329Processing Persuasive Messages: The Elaboration Likelihood Model (ELM) 329Persuading Automatic Processors 331Persuading Extensive Processors 334

Asserting Rights and Expectations 337Approaches to Communicating Rights and Expectations 337Assertive Message Skills 341Assertiveness in Cross-Cultural Relationships 347

The Social Media FacTor

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Summary 347

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 348

Chapter Resources 349What You Should Be Able to Explain 349What You Should Be Able to Do 349Key Words 349Apply Your Knowledge 349Inter-Action Dialogue: Interpersonal Influence 350Skill Practice 351Communication Improvement Plan: Influencing Ethically 354Inter-Act with Media 354What’s on the Web 355

ChAPTEr 12 ● Managing Conflict 357

Types of Interpersonal Conflict 359

Styles of Managing Interpersonal Conflict 360Withdrawing 362Accommodating 363Forcing 363Compromising 364Collaborating 364

Face Negotiation in Conflict 366Cultural Differences in the Meaning of Face 366Face Negotiation Theory 367Face Negotiation and Conflict Styles in American Co-cultural Groups 368

Destructive Conflict Patterns 369Serial Arguing 369Counterblaming 370Cross-complaining 370Demand-Withdrawal 371Mutual Hostility Pattern 371

Guidelines for Effective Conflict Management 372Breaking Patterns of Destructive Conflict 372Creating a Collaborative Conflict Conversation 373

Diverse Voices: The Power of Wastah in Lebanese Speech 378

Forgiveness: Repairing Relationships Damaged by Conflict 378Managing the Dark Side of Digital Communication 381Compulsive and Excessive Internet Use 381Inappropriate Self-Disclosure 382

The Social Media FacTor

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Flaming 383Cyber stalking and Cyberbullying 384

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 385

Summary 386

Chapter Resources 387What You Should Be Able to Explain 387What You Should Be Able to Do 387Key Words 387Apply Your Knowledge 388Skill Practice 390Communication Improvement Plan: Conflict Management 392Inter-Act with Media 392What’s on the Web 393

PArT 3 UsInG CoMMUnICATIon sKILLs To IMProVE rELATIonshIPs

ChAPTEr 13 ● Communicating in Intimate Relationships: Families, Friendships, Marriages, and Other Life Partnerships 395

The Nature of Intimacy 397Intimacy Is an Interaction Pattern 398Characteristics of Intimate Relationships 399

Families 401

Diverse Voices: Performing Commitment 402

Parent-Child Communication 403Communication in Other Types of Family Relationships 407Guidelines for Improving Family Communication 408

Friendships 410Gender Differences in Same-Sex Friendships 411

Marriage and Long-Term Romantic Relationships 412Factors Defining Long-Term Relationships 413Characteristics of Successful Long-Term Relationships 415Positive Communication for Stronger Romantic Relationships 415

The Dark Side of Intimacy 417Relational Uncertainty 417Possessiveness 418

Using Digital Communication Skills to Improve Relationships 420Digital Communication Skills in Personal Relationships 420Initiating Relationships 421

The Social Media FacTor

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A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 422

Summary 423

Chapter Resources 424What You Should Be Able to Explain 424What You Should Be Able to Do 424Key Words 424Apply Your Knowledge 424Communication Improvement Plan: Intimate Relationships 426Inter-Act with Media 426What’s on the Web 427

ChAPTEr 14 ● Communicating in the Workplace 429

Finding a Job 431Locating Job Openings 432Résumés and Cover Letters 433Interviewing 437

Communicating in Workplace Relationships 442Communicating in Managerial Relationships 442Communicating in Co-worker Relationships 445Communicating in Customer, Client, and Vendor Relationships 448

Communicating in a Diverse Workplace 449Culture-Based Work Style 449

Diverse Voices: The Group: A Japanese Context 451

Gendered Linguistic Style in the Workplace 452Intergenerational Communication Issues 454

The Dark Side of Workplace Communication 455Aggression at Work 455Sexual Harassment 457

Digital Communication Skills in Professional Relationships 458Enabling Digital Communication between Colleagues 459Implications for Privacy in Professional Relationships 459Digital Communication Etiquette in Your Profession 460

A Question of Ethics: What Would You Do? 461

Summary 462

Chapter Resources 463What You Should Be Able to Explain 463What You Should Be Able to Do 463Key Words 464

The Social Media FacTor

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Apply Your Knowledge 464Skill Practice 464Communication Improvement Plan: Workplace Communication 465Inter-Act with Media 465What’s on the Web 466

Glossary 467

References 480

Photo Credits 493

Index 494

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