Devotee Care And Guidance

Upadesamrta 4 Purport The International Society for Krishna Consciousness has been

established to facilitate these six kinds of loving exchanges between devotees:

1. giving charity to the devotees2. accepting from the devotees whatever they may offer in

return3. opening one's mind to the devotees4. inquiring from them about the confidential service of the Lord5. honoring prasada, or spiritual food, given by the devotees 6. feeding the devotees with prasada.

Team Lessons From The GeeseAs each bird flaps its wings it creates an uplift for the bird

following. By fyling in a "V" formation the whole flock provides 71% better range than flying alone. There is a power in the collective work. People who share a common direction and sense of community can reach their destination quicker and easier, travelling on the thrust of each other. Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it immediately feels the drag and quickly gets back in to the draft of the nearest goose. If we had as much sense as a goose, we would stay in formation with those who are heading where we want to go. Sometimes the leading goose gets tired and rotates back into formation for another to take over. Take turns in leadership. Share leadership.

Team Lessons From The GeeseBe interpendent on each other's skills, knowledge, and

qualities. Geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up the speed. Make sure your honking from behind is encouraging, not discouraging. ENCOURAGE - coeur means “heart” in French. Whenever a goose gets sick, wounded or shot, two geese fall out of the formation to go with one to protect, help it and stay it until it can fly again, or until it dies. They then launch out to join another formation or rejoin their original flock

PLANCommunity principlesHow does it workOne to one assistance

SEVEN PURPOSES OF ISKCON3. To bring the members of the Society together

with each other and nearer to Krsna, the prime entity, thus to develop the idea within the members, and humanity at large, that each soul is part and parcel of the quality of Godhead (Krsna).

6. To bring the members closer together for the purpose of teaching a simpler and more natural way of life.

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SAVESave yourself, save others. This is our Krsna

consciousness movement. First of all save yourself; then try to save others. Or both things can go on simultaneously. The same example. If you want to save somebody who's drowning you must know that I may not be washed away. I have to remain strong; then I can save him.

Conversation on Roof -- February 14, 1977, Mayapura

SRILA PRABHUPADA

Srila Prabhupada was first and foremost someone who truly cared, who completely sacrificed his own comfort to work for the good of others.

- Mukunda Goswami

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PRACETAS The Supreme Personality of

Godhead said: My dear sons of the King, I am very much pleased by the friendly relationships among you.

All of you are engaged in one occupation - devotional service.

I am so pleased with your mutual friendship that I wish you all good fortune.

Now you may ask a benediction of Me.

SB 4.30.8

While the men were meeting in that way, the women were also meeting one another in the same manner. They were embracing each other in great friendship, smiling very mildly, and looking at one another with much affection. When they were embracing each other in their arms, the saffron and kunkuma spread on their breasts was exchanged from one person to another, and they all felt heavenly ecstasy. Due to such heart-to-heart embracing, torrents of tears glided down their cheeks. The juniors were offering obeisances to the elders, and the elders were offering their blessings to the juniors. They were thus welcoming one another and asking after each other's welfare. Ultimately, however, all their talk was only of Krsna. All the neighbors and relatives were connected with Lord Krsna's pastimes in this world, and as such Krsna was the center of all their activities.

Krsna Book - Lord Krsna and Balarama Meet the Inhabitants of Vrndavana

CARING COMMUNITY PRINCIPLESSarve sukhino bhavantu6 loving exchanges (dadati ... )Enlightening each other Bg 10.9“Your love for me will be shown ...” SP“Mutual consultation” SPDoing good to others Bg 17.16 PLaksmi comes when we don’t fight SB 5.14.24 PPracetas SB 4.8.30Building trust in a community

CARING COMMUNITY PRINCIPLESPrahlada Maharaja: May all living entities become

calm by practicing bhakti-yoga, for by accepting devotional service they will think of each other's welfare. SB 5.18.9

Holistic care (body, mind and soul)Training is care (“Give a man a fish ...”)Regular and clear communicationSentimental or caring?

BUILDING TRUST WITHIN THE COMMUNITYWe keep promises and honor commitments.We acknowledge and apologize for mistakes.We are loyal to the absent.We seek to understand each other’s needs and concerns.

We say what we feel in a way that shows respect for others’ opinions.We are not defensive when someone offers feedback.We share information, both positive and negative, with people who

need to have it.We encourage others to openly contribute ideas and opinions.We involve people in decisions that affect them.

BUILDING TRUST WITHIN THE COMMUNITYWe give credit where credit is due.We share decision making with community or team members,

and support collective decisions.We encourage and support community or team members

taking risks.We check our information before jumping to conclusions.We behave and communicate consistently, regardless of the

situation or the person’s authority and influence.We communicate clear expectations.We honour confidential and sensitive information.

HOW DOES THE SYSTEM WORK?

PURPOSEEducate devotees in how to live according to the

principles of their asramaTrain them in philosophy, sadhana, Vaisnava

behaviour, etiquette, lifestyle and attitudesGive care and attention for all devotees to make them

feel loved, wanted and part of a wonderful spiritual family

Foster warm personal relationships and a spirit of love and trust based on Krsna conscious principles

Facilitate allocation of service, organization of major events, communication of important decisions

Train spiritual leaders and preachers

HOW DOES IT WORKSome experienced devotees take on the

serviceAssistant GuideGeographical, linguistic, socio-economic

considerations Preference for a particular GuidePesonal touchShelter: bring as many as possibleFothnightly group meetingsOne-to-one meetings

HOW DOES IT WORK?Collective recommendations for initiationSpecialized teamsTemple president participatesGuide from the same asramaHusband-and-wife teamNot too many to care for and guide (5 to 15)

CHOOSING SPIRITUAL GUIDESIn active Krsna consciousness within

ISKCON for a fair length of timeGood understanding of the philosophy

and practice of Krsna consciousnessAble to give balanced counsel based

on Krsna conscious principles according to person, time, place and circumstance

Not inclined to extreme or controversial positions on issues

CHOOSING SPIRITUAL GIUDESWilling to extend to help and sacrifice for othersCompassionate, genuine concern for the welfare of

devoteesA good listenerMature, sober, stableGood standard of sadhana, etiquette, behavior, service

and commitment to the missionProperly situated in own asrama

DUTY OF A GUIDEProvides care, guidance and challenge in Krsna consciousness Spiritual elder brother/sister, takes personal care of all

devotees in the groupInspires and encourages them in Krsna consciousness,

monitors their progressProvides Krsna conscious and general life skills trainingCounsels in spiritual and other mattersOverall welfare of the devoteesNot a full time service

DUTY OF A GUIDEFortnightly group meetingsRecommends for first and second initiationActively participates in meetings of the Spiritual GuidesA good standard of sadhana, behavior and serviceSarve sukhino bhavantuCaution: personal ambition, misuse ...

TRAINING DEVOTEES Ideal brahmacaris and grhasthas Proper devotional standards at

the temple or at home (kitchen, altar, behavior, sadhana)

Proper wife/husband/parent/child, according to scriptures

Balance economic and social responsibilities with spiritual vows

TRAINING DEVOTEES Women dealing with men, particularly

brahmacharis and sannyasis; men dealing with women

Proper dealings between asramas Dealing with other devotees, family, public Manual of Vaisnava Etiquette and Lifestyle

GROUP MEETING Vaisnava bhajans One of devotees presents a text

from Srila Prabhupada’s books, discussion

Sharing realizations Discussion on service, sadhana,

Vaisnava etiquette/behavior Issues not too personal

(personal discussed in private with the Guide)

Practical committments Kirtana, prasadam

WHAT KEEPS THE GROUP MEMBERS TOGETHER?Guide’s genuine care and loveGuide takes initiative, reaches outAn environment of love, appreciation and

challengeCommitment to quality relationshipsSix symptoms of love (Upadesamrta)Benefits for those who take care of othersInteresting or exciting meetings

INTERESTING MEETINGSInduce creativity and innovationCreate fresh challengesConsider personal interestsBirthdays, marriages, anniversariesRegular, specific personal appreciationCatch them doing things rightFun: games, quizzes, role playsDo personal things for themDynamic action after the session

GUIDES MEETINGS Different Guide presents each time Discussion on the holy name and:

Sadhana (japa, waking early, morning program, etc.)

Reading (importance of philosophy and reading Prabhupada’s books)

Vaisnava Etiquette (respect to everyone, how to serve/honour prasadam, personal habits, etc.)

Exemplary Behavior (26 qualities of a Vaisnava, etc.)

Reports from specilized teams Management (if needed) Prasadam

SUPPORT FOR GUIDESMentoringTrainingSangaCountinuous learning (skills, ideas ...)

DEMONSTRATIONFacilitating group discussion

BENEFITS OF DEVOTEE CAREDevotees ISKCONSupportBetter know each otherAccountabilityStrong devotees

Prabhupada’s mercyExamplary communityManpowerResources

DEVOTEES’ NEEDSKrsnaBodyMindHeartSoulCareSupport

GuidanceChallengeChangeFaith in KrsnaAppreciationContribution

ONE-TO-ONE SKILLSListeningQuestionsProblems into opportunitiesExpanding optionsChallengePromoting action

BHAKTISIDDHANTA One who gives personal instruction to each and everyone

does more for others than the platform speakers do.

Generally, whatever platform speakers say cannot solve the problem of everyone in the audience, nor can it always benefit every individual.

A person's defects are better rectified in a private tutorial class or private coaching than in hearing lectures in a school or college.

Therefore those who instruct particular persons separately can award them something more permanent.

Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, Amrta Vani, page 315

ONE-TO-ONE MEETINGSCommunication skillsDiscovering devotee’s needs, interests and

concernsConfidentialSupportive (believes in)Focused on a devotee being guidedPersonal issues Sharing realizations and successesNot a lectureWorking together to find solutionsEnlightening

LISTENFully understand the situation of the devotee Give them the space to understand themselves Listen first and seek first to understand Remain as impartial, open and objective as you possibly

can Interested and concerned THEY are responsible for their lives Clear your mind of all personal issues

EXERCISE Listen to a devotee next to you for 3 minutes. You must

not make any sound, say anything, nod, shake your head or show any other signs. Repeat back your understanding of the key points they made. Ask a devotee whether you understood him or her well.

ASKING EFFECTIVE QUESTIONSThe purpose of asking questions is to:1. Understand the devotee well2. Help them understand themselves3. Clarify what they want4. Discover new options, opportunities, possibilities and

advantages5. Identify obstacles6. Make an action plan

EFFECTIVE QUESTIONS What are your strengths, talents, skills, good

qualities?What do you want?What one great thing would you dare to dream if you

knew you could not fail? (question about an exciting goal)

EFFECTIVE QUESTIONSWhat one thing, if you would do superbly well

everyday, would make the greatest positive difference in your life? (question about personal habits / best practices)

What can you learn from this?How can you turn this problem into an opportunity?What and who inspires you the most?Are you ready to pay the price?

NON-EFFECTIVE QUESTIONS Why are you so bad?Why you don’t understand what’s good for you?When are you going to change / shape up / grow up?How could you do such a thing?

TIPAfter asking questions and listening, summarize what you

have heard to be sure you have understand your devotee well.

POWER OF A RIGHT QUESTIONThe question that saved concentration camp prisoner’s

life.

EXERCISE Pair up as and take turn to speak about an issue.1. Ask relevant and empowering questions until he is

certain to have understood the devotee2. Paraphrase back to the devotee to determine whether

he has successfully understood him. The devotee should confirm it.

TURNING PROBLEMS INTO OPPORTUNITIES

“O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to whom such fighting opportunities come unsought, opening for them the doors of the heavenly planets.”

Bg 2.32

TURNING PROBLEMS INTO OPPORTUNITIES

The way you see a problem or a task powerfully influences you action and the results you will achieve.

Help the devotee to see their problems differently: as a blessing in disguise.

A TURNAROUND EXPERT What is great about this problem?What can I learn from this problem?What this problem is an opportunity for?If you would be a world expert on these issues, what

would you advise?If you would be super-intelligent, how would you

deal with this problem?What additional skills do you need to deal with this

problem?

A TURNAROUND EXPERTUse questions as you see fit, in any orderInduce a devotee to see themselves as expert in

solving a particular problem and learn everything they can about it from various sources (spiritual, professional, etc.).

EXERCISE Choose one problem and turn it into an opportunity

together.

EXPANDING OPTIONSGita CardsMindstormingBrainstormingAsking othersWhat else could I do?

PROMOTING ACTION

“Factually, we should be engaged 24 hours in Krsna's service and everything should be done very nicely and perfectly.”

Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Adi-kesava, Bombay 2 January 1975

ACTIONChosen areaClarifying what they want (clear written goals)Exploring options, opportunities, possibilities and

advantagesOvercoming obstaclesMaking a written action planHolding them accountable by requesting weekly reports

HOLISTIC OR COMPLETE CAREHealth SadhanaServiceRelationshipsSelf-renewal/BalanceEtc.

SPIRITUAL GUIDE SESSION

1. Inquire2. Listen attentively3. Reflect back4. Discover possibilities and solutions together5. Plan action together

RESULTSTo change their results, devotee sneed to change their

perception, their thinking and their action. To achieve things you have never achieved before, you

have to start doing things you have never done before.

ACTION SUCCESS Success = Personal effort + Krsna’s mercy

The place of action [the body], the performer, the various senses, the many different kinds of endeavour, and ultimately the Supersoul — these are the five factors of action. Whatever right or wrong action a man performs by body, mind or speech is caused by these five factors. Therefore one who thinks himself the only doer, not considering the five factors, is certainly not very intelligent and cannot see things as they are.

Bg 18.14-16

O son of Kunti, I am the taste of water, the light of the sun and the moon, the syllable om in the Vedic mantras; I am the sound in ether and ability in man.

Bg 7.8

PRACTICE Mutual assistanceShare first with your partner and then with a whole

group what you have learned and experienced both as a guide and guided

SUMMARYAttentive to devotee’s needs, interests and concernsConfidentialSupportiveFocused on a devotee being guidedPersonal issues Sharing realizations and successesNot a lectureWorking together to find solutionsEnlightening

MUTUAL COACHINGWeekly questionsFeedforwardGITA Model

GoalsInstructionsTestsAction

EXERCISEChoose an important goal and tell partnerParner asks you: What are the three ways I can help you

succeed in this? Partner chooses one he can help you with and committs

to do it next week

DEMONSTRATIONOne-to-one meeting/session with a GITA

ModelGoalsInstructionsTestsAction

ISKCON DEVOTEE CAREDevotee Care Journal

http://devoteecareiskcon.com/en/