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Building Relationships as Introverts Lisette Khalil Operations Director Kayla Thomas MarComm Manager LK: Intro to Kayla KT: Intro to Lisette, KT announce ‘ice breaker/social experiment’, LK announce Q+A with question cards

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Page 1: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Building Relationships as Introverts

Lisette Khalil

Operations Director

Kayla Thomas

MarComm Manager

LK: Intro to Kayla KT: Intro to Lisette, KT announce ‘ice breaker/social experiment’, LK announce Q+A with question cards

Page 2: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Are you an introvert?Extrovert vs. Introvert

KT

Page 3: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

How do you recharge?

Extrovert Introvert

KT

Page 4: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Other Introvert Traits

Checklist of 23 Signs You’re an Introvert

From Huffington Post Interview w/Sophia Dembling, ‘The Introvert’s Way: Live a Quiet Life in a Noisy World”

●You find small talk incredibly cumbersome●Networking makes you feel like a phony●You go to parties, but not to meet new people●You can feel alone in a crowd●You notice details that others don’t●You actively avoid shows/performances that might involve

audience participation●You’re a writer●You’re in a relationship with an extrovert

LK

Page 5: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Extrovert/Introvert RelationshipCase Study

●Real live introverts married to extroverts

LK and KT

Page 6: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts 101What makes us tick?

KT

Page 7: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts 101Social Behavior

●We get more energy and recharge when we are not around other people.●Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive, but necessary.●We literally shut down when it’s time to be alone.

KT

Page 8: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts 101Social Behavior

KT

Page 9: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts 101Work Flow

●Thinking and creating is easier alone than in groups.●We alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.●We benefit from less office chit chat and thrive on having serious conversations.

LK

Page 10: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts 101Work flow

LK

Page 11: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts are awesome because we are:

●Thoughtful●Observant●Focused●Concise●Able to think through complex issues●Good listeners●Independent/self-sufficient

LK with KT additions

Page 12: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts 101Misconceptions

KT

Page 13: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts ≠

●Shy●Socially anxious●Awkward●Quiet●Hermits●Not competitive

KT

Page 14: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introverts ≠ ●http://www.today.com/video/are-you-an-introvert-heres-how-to-tell-45720643676

KT: Here is a short clip from the Today show. We’ll hear from Carolyn Gregoire of the Huffington Post and Dr. Charles Sophy explain ways to tell, and dispel common misconceptions about introverts.

Page 15: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

5 Strategies for Success

Social Behavior

KT

Page 16: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #1Recognize That You Are an Introvert

GREAT NEWS!You’re an Introvert!

●Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay.●We live in an extroverted society, learn to champion your introverted

traits.

●Learn more about your needs and what makes you great.

KT: Quotes from ‘Quiet’ Storytime, KT discovering she was an introvert, dealing with the aftermath, accepting and embracing the label.

Page 17: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #2Create Time for Recharging

Give yourself permission to recharge. It is a necessity.

At Home ~ Self Care:

Be Active Take another Nap Listen to MusicGet Outside Do an Art Project Enjoy NatureRead a book Meditate Go to a Coffee ShopTake A Nap Organize a Closet Just BreatheEat Well Mow the Lawn 5 Min Alone in CarWatch Netflix Plant Flowers Find a HobbyGo to the Spa Pretend your bathroom is the spa

KT

Page 18: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #3:Befriend Other Introverts

●We get each other and aren’t offended by our need to be alone or quiet.●We need someone to listen to us too.

BONUS: Tips for our extroverted friends in the room

We love you! Also, we need your support ☺

TIPS to love your introvert:1. ‘Tired’ is code for ‘we’re done with people’2. If we don’t respond to your text/email/ESPECIALLY phone call right away, give us time, we just need space.3. We need to be mentally prepared to see people.

KT

Page 19: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #4:Plan for Your Social Experiences

You have plans, now what?

●How full is your battery?● Prep your people

●Scan for your safe zone

●How to avoid small talk ●Ask Questions!● Plan your talking points

●Plan for a change in plan

●But if plans cancel…

KT

Page 20: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #5:Create Social Cues for Yourself and Loved Ones

.

●What are your cues that you need to recharge?●Are you tired? Irritated?●Short tempered? Brain dead?

●Communicate that you need alone time●Create a ‘safe’ word

●When is your ‘bubble’

popped?

Page 21: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

5 Strategies for SuccessWork Flow

Page 22: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

The Realities●There will be meetings●There will be teams●Networking is necessary ●Annual fundraisers (ie high social environments) are

required●Developing relationships is critical to success

Page 23: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Look ahead in your calendar and ask yourself…

●When will my energy account be running on empty?●After a team meeting?●After attending a conference?●After a fundraiser?

●How long will I need to recharge?● 30 minutes?●A few hours?●A few days?

Strategy #1:Anticipate Your Own Needs

Page 24: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Pre-Meeting/Event/Team Activity:● Prepare

● What do you need to accomplish?● What questions will you ask?● What do you need to say?● What materials could you bring to speed things along?

● Stock Up On Energy● Schedule “prep time” on your calendar● Build in mini-breaks● Be deliberate about time in the car

Strategy #2:Plan Your Energy Use

Page 25: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #3Create Time for Recharging

●Be deliberate about making time to recharge alone

●At the Office:●Build the expectation within your office/team for alone

time:●Sign on the door time●Block off time on calendar for think time●Put phone on “do not disturb” setting●Turn off Outlook message pop-ups

●Reward colleagues/supervisors who leave you alone by producing excellent work products that they need!

Page 26: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #4:Schedule Fewer Meetings

Most meetings = energy drain●How to attend fewer meetings?

●Use a project management tool● Share a timeline early in a project● Schedule a pre-project meeting when many decisions are made

rather than spreading them out through a project

●Demonstrate efficiency in lieu of meetings

Example off hours – staffing office on a Saturday when student intern is working. Office is quiet, we get tons of work done, everyone is happy.

Page 27: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Strategy #5:Recognize the Gift of the Extrovert

Let the extroverts use their gifts too!

Your extrovert colleagues love to talk. Let them talk!

●Buddy up at a networking event. Let your buddy ask questions, tell stories, and introduce both of you to the room● Position extroverts at events as greeters, crowd flow,

floaters, etc.● Prep extroverts with efficiency tools prior to meetings

(timelines, lists, processes, etc)

Page 28: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introversion at WorkMarketing and Communications

Page 29: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Example A:Set the Pace for Communications

Make it Manageable●Take a beat

● Even in the digital world, you do not need to respond immediately

●Acknowledge, respond when ready● “Thanks for your comment. I’m thinking about this and will get back to

you later.”● “I’m not able to commit to anything over the phone, but send me an

email and I’ll check out the information.”● “I only have a few moments before my next meeting, but will gladly look

at this later in the week.”

● Find communication tools● Say Hello to Trello● https://trello.com/wwhf

Page 30: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Example B:Carve out Creative Time

• Put out notifications for staff to preserve brain space

• But be inviting ☺

Page 31: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Introversion at WorkDevelopment and Operations

Page 32: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Example A:A Different Take on Development

Development:

●Grant Writing●Annual Appeal●One-on-one meetings with funders●Give a tour ~ Show your org● Pepper in touches that are not face-to-face● Be the conductor ~ coordinate, facilitate, prepare (not schmooze)● Be yourself

Look for roles that can be accomplished well individually. Grant writing & management We are good listeners. Listen to donors and learn about their connection to the organization. We cut to the chase and are authentic ~ breath of fresh air We want less frequent, meaningful interactions

Page 34: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Example B:Position Yourself For Success

Employer

● Share detailed job duties ● “Introverts welcome”● Incorporate practical skills exercises into interview process●Deliberately plan employee work spaces

Employee

● Focus on your strengths●Carefully examine job duties and anticipate which ones will be most

draining●Writing skills are key

Page 36: Building Relationships as Introverts · Introvert GREAT NEWS! You’re an Introvert! Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay. We live in

Questions?Lisette KhalilOperations DirectorWisconsin Women’s Health [email protected]

Kayla ThomasMarketing and Communication ManagerWisconsin Women’s Health [email protected]

Wwhf.orgFacebook.com/wiwomenshealthYoutube.com/wiwomenshealth

@wiwomenshealth