September 20, 2009Pastor Eldon Boldt

Mark 3:25

(GN) If a family divides itself into groups which fight each other, that family will fall apart.

(TLB) A home filled with strife and

division destroys itself.

• The cause (reason)

• The reactions

• The resolutions

I. THE REASONS FOR CONFLICT

James 4:1-2 (TLB)

1) What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn't it because there is a whole army of evil desires within you?

2) You want what you don't have, so you kill to get it. You long for what others have, and can't afford it, so you start a fight to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don't have what you want is that you don't ask God for it.

II. THE REACTIONS TO CONFLICT

1. MY WAY

2. NO WAY 3. YOUR WAY 4. HALF WAY

5. OUR WAY

III. THE RESOLUTIONS. 1. INVITE CHRIST INTO YOUR LIFE/HOME

Ephesians 2:16 (TLB) 16) As parts of the same body, our anger against each other has disappeared, for both of us have been reconciled to God. And so the feud ended at last at the cross.

2. TALK TO GOD ABOUT THE CONFLICT

James 4:2 (NIV) You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.

3. ANALYZE THE PROBLEM Matthew 7:3 (NIV) "Why do you look at

the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

4. HOLD A PEACE CONFERENCE Matthew 5:23-24 (GN) ‘If . . . you

remember your brother has something against you, leave your gift in front of the alter and go at once to make peace with your brother, then come back and offer your gift to God.

• Choose right time

• Choose right place

• Pray before the meeting

5. ESTABLISH GROUND RULES PRIOR TO THE FIGHT

• Never compare• Never condemn• Never command • Never challenge • Never condescend• Never contradict• Never confuse

Proverbs 11:29 (TLB) The fool who provokes his family

to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall be the servant of the wiser man.

6. SWITCH YOUR FOCUS

Philippians 2:4-5 (NIV) 4)Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5) Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

7. ASK FOR ADVICE Proverbs 15:12 (GN) Conceited people

do not like to be corrected. They never ask for advice from those who are wiser.

Proverbs 15:22 (GN) If you refuse to

learn you are hurting yourself.

8. DON’T GIVE UP

• Recognition• Reaction• Resolution

Galatians 6:9 (NIV) Let us not become

weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

September 20, 2009Pastor Eldon Boldt