bullying: addressing the issues dr. susan g. weinberger [email protected] april 7, 2010 1
TRANSCRIPT
WHO IS TO BLAME?
Impressionable youth Inability to fit in Does too much freedom in childhood
lead to aggressive behavior? Bullying in the school years
continues into the workplace Is silence to blame?
2
ISSUES FACING EDUCATORS
No Child Left Behind Childhood Obesity Rising costs for Special Education Youth cravings for positive role
models (mentors) Where is bullying on the priority
list?
3
EDUCATORS/PARENTS
Must be proactive
Must identify and modify bullying behavior
Silence is the enemy
4
ROLE OF EDUCATORS
States and federal government need to set aside large sums to address the issues
Schools need to consider bullying a major priority and spend the money to train teachers, counselors and other staff
Proactive Example: Actions of Superintendent Joan Landers, Wakefield, MA Public Schools
5
Letter to parents:SIGNS OF BULLYING
Coming home from school with torn or disheveled clothing with damaged books
Bruises, injuries, cuts and scratches Not wanting to go to school Finding excuses to stay home (feeling
sick, repeated headaches or stomach pains especially in the morning)
6
SIGNS for PARENTS
Wanting to go to school a different way to avoid the bullies
Tense, tearful and unhappy after school
Hating school or not having friends Refusing to tell parents what
happened at school
7
SIGNS for PARENTS
Not bringing classmates or other peers home after school
Seldom spending time in homes of others
No single good friend with whom to share free time
Rarely being invited to parties Disinterested in planning own parties
8
SIGNS for PARENTS
Restless sleep with bad dreams, crying in their sleep
Losing interest in school work and getting lower grades
Unhappy, sad, depressed, or unexpected mood swings; sudden outbursts of temper; irritability
Requesting or stealing extra money from family to accommodate bullies
9
STICKS AND STONES
Bullying – mean and cruel treatment first in school and community
NOW – Cyber bullying When I was young: Sticks and
stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me
Life has changed
10
HOW TO ADDRESS BULLYING
ROLE OF EDUCATORS AND MENTORS
Talk to youth about the facts around bullying
Be honest and clear about the facts
11
BULLYING
Girls and boys Can be as simple as gossiping about
you Put others down Use words and actions to hurt you Leave you out of an activity for no
reason Sexual harassment
12
BULLYING
Can be physical. Pushing, shoving, spitting, kicking, hitting, stealing, defacing property, threatening with a weapon, inflicting bodily harm
Socially may gossip, embarrass others, spread rumors, reveal personal information, or try to exclude you
13
BULLYING
Verbally mock you, call you names, and taunt you
Tease about what you wear Taunt you Give you dirty looks Intimidate you Threaten you verbally
14
HOW PARENTS CAN TALK TO EDUCATORS
Parents are often reluctant to report to school staff that their child is being bullied because:
1. Unsure how best to help their child
2. May be afraid of making the situation worse if they report
3. May be embarrassed about it
15
ROLE OF PARENTS
4. Their child asks parent NOT to report bullying
5. Fear of being seen as overprotective
6. Believe that it is up to their child to stop the bullying
16
CHILDREN NEED HELP
Parents must call the school to report their child is being bullied
Ask for help to stop it Students should not have to tolerate
bullying any more than adults would tolerate similar treatment at work
Ask for a copy of the school’s anti bullying program
17
WHAT PARENTS CAN DO
Keep a written record of all bullying incidents that your child reports to you
Record the names of the children involved, where and when the bullying occurred and what happened
Explain your concerns immediately in a meeting with teachers/school staff
18
PARENTS ARE POWERFUL
Ask teachers for their observations Request that the bullying be investigated
and stopped Speak with your child’s guidance counselor
or school-based mental health professional If no improvement, get principal involved Keep notes from all your meetings
19
SCHOOLS MUST RESPOND
Investigate bullying immediately Joint meeting with child bullied and bully No mediation; bullying is a form of
victimization NOT a conflict. Staff develops a plan to keep a child safe Meets with bully to make the consequences
clear If school is unwilling to help, write or meet
with Superintendent
20
HOW TO HELP
Help youth to solve the issues Do not approach the bully or call a
bully’s parent Work with school, agency or
organization to decide how to approach the problem
Silence is the ENEMY
21
HOW TO STOP BULLYING
Requires adult intervention Cannot be resolved by asking
targeted youth to stand up for themselves
All ADULTS (parents, teachers and school administrators) MUST take action when a bullying incidence is first reported
22
STOP BULLYING
Must not look the other way Bullying escalates and if left unchecked can
have tragic consequences Clear crisis intervention plans in place to
intervene when an incident takes place Offer both consequences and resources to
the bully
23
ROLE OF SCHOOLS
Written anti-bullying policies must be in place and followed
Many schools would like to do more to establish comprehensive bullying prevention programs but do not have the resources for training and new curriculum because of budgetary constraints
24
LEGISLATION
42 states have passed legislation to strengthen state and local efforts to prevent school bullying. Law identifies strategies, policies and programs that school boards can develop and implement to create positive school climates, curricula and interventions BUT ----------
25
ROLE OF SCHOOLS
Not enough funding. Budgetary reasons are UNACCEPTABLE
Addressing bullying must be a priority
Federal funds, support from the corporate sector, parent advocacy on the state and local level in order to protect youth
26
OFFICIAL ANTI-BULLYING POLICIES
Schools must have policies AND an active bullying prevention program
If they do not, PARENTS MUST get together with school officials and develop one
27
THE FACTS
Most schools have reported a major bullying problem
The School Bully in Cyberspace is impossible to grasp and monitor
28
CYBERSPACE
Electronic aggression Use of cell phones Computers Other electronic devices to
humiliate or harass and sometimes even threaten physical violence
29
Cyber bullying
Recent studies:
Around 35% of youth report being targeted by Internet harassment at least once
Other surveys are even higher
30
WHAT SCHOOLS CAN DOSindie Spencer Kennedy, Montana
Involve students in identifying cyber bullying at school
Develop a youth internet safety team at the school and district level
Adopt bullying prevention policies with lessons on cyber bullying
31
ROLE OF SCHOOLS
Require that teachers, parents and students read and sign a policy that outlines students’ acceptable use of technology
Trainings for parents and students on Internet safety and cyber bullying
Enforce cellular phone policies
32
BEING PROACTIVE
Staff Training must include:
Classroom teachers Aides, secretaries, custodians Bus drivers Parents Mentors
33
MENTOR CONSULTING GROUP
Dr. Susan G. Weinberger, President
3 Inwood Road
Norwalk, CT USA 06850-1017
Office: (203) 846-9608
www.MentorConsultingGroup.com
34