burbs (pilot)

8/6/2019 BURBS (Pilot)

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BURBSPILOT

CREATED & WRITTEN BYMARK WILAND



(FADE IN) a beautiful blonde woman is standing in the lobby of anoperahouse in a gorgeous purple dress. She checks her watch, sighsthen looks around at everyone as they pass by. Finally a young manin a black suit with short black hair and beard stubble comes to her side

TANNERI’m so sorry, love

He grabs her shoulders and turns her towards him as she slaps himwith her purse

KRYSTALYou’ve been late the last 5 times, I’m beginning to

think that you’re not going to show up at all! You’vebeen ignoring me as of late!

TANNERLove, I’m sorry, but tonight is all about you

TANNER takes her hand and kisses her glove

TANNER (CONT.)

I promise. I’ve booked us a table at a very privaterestaurant, I’ve got plans for a great night, I swear itmy love

KRYSTAL smiles and kisses his cheek

KRYSTALAnd Sybil?

TANNER

No idea

KRYSTAL and TANNER lock hands as they start to walk towards theticketbooth



KRYSTALWhen are you going to leave her? It’s been toolong, much too long in fact. I’m tired of being your side dish

TANNERI don’t even know what a side dish is, but you’re notmy-

KRYSTALYes I am Tanner, and we both know it. I’m themistress, and things never turn out well for themistress, we always end up dead, the wife NEVERends up dead

TANNERWell love, maybe things will be different this time

Just as they enter the theater, a woman in a black dress, bouncyblack hair, stunning looking woman comes from around the bar andwatches them before walking in after them

EXT. OPERAHOUSE-NIGHT

TANNER and KRYSTAL exit, laughing and a bit drunk. As theystumble towards the street, they stop at the curb

TANNERLet me just…let me just call the towncar, then wecan get out of here and go someplace a bit moreprivate, love

SYBILGot room for one more, “love”?

TANNER and KRYSTAL turn to see SYBIL standing in the shadowsbehind them

TANNERDarling, what-what’re you doing here?



SYBILI’ve told you over and over again but you just don’tlisten. Don’t underestimate me, Tanner, vows arevows, ‘till death do us part

TANNERListen Sybil, it’s-

SYBIL pulls a small handgun out of her coat and smiles

SYBILBe a good boy, get in the car and drive

SYBIL directs them towards her car as she gets into the passenger

seat, TANNER in the driver and KRYSTAL in the backseat

INT. TOWNCAR-NIGHT

TANNER’S hands are sweating as he wipes them on his pants,SYBIL drinking a martini beside him

SYBILSo, how long?

TANNERHow-how long?

SYBILYes, how long has this one been going on?

TANNERUm…about 8 months

SYBIL laughs

SYBILYou know, I must really be stupid, I mean this is the4th time, I’m not surprised, and yet…I didn’t suspectanything, so either I’m always drunk or you’vegotten better



TANNERIt’s probably the first one

SYBILProbably

TANNER looks at her and grits his teeth

TANNERWhere am I driving too?

SYBILI’ve got a nice little place up here for us to reconcile,totally secluded, nobody will be able to hear us…or

you

SYBIL grins as TANNER drives a little slower, now heading up onto asloping hill. From the back KRYSTAL shifts forward

KRYSTALIf it’s any consolation, Sybil, I didn’t want you to gethurt, I kept asking him to just tell you, but he refused

SYBILDon’t try and buy your way out with kindness, youhussy, you’re both as guilty as the other is. Besides,I don’t like you

KRYSTALWhy?

SYBILYou’re young. I mean, I’m only 34, but you’re what?

25?

KRYSTAL22

SYBIL’S mouth opens as she stares at the both of them



SYBIL22!? Good god, Tanner, where did you meet her, atgraduation?!

TANNER smiles

SYBIL (CONT.)You know, I wasn’t always this classy

TANNERClassy isn’t the word

SYBILShut up dear, I was in fact, never even rich before I

met this man. I was born into a middle classsuburban family, father and mother worked, it was amiserable existence, but at least there, people didn’tpretend to be what they knew they weren’t. I’m soSICK of wearing ugly dresses and of going to showsI have NO intent on enjoying! I’m sick of hobknobbing at parties and I’m sick of the wordhobknobbing! Rubbing elbows with the elite is funwhen you’re not one of them, remember that

Krystal…it could’ve saved your life

TANNER and KRYSTAL exchange a nervous glance

EXT. HILL-NIGHT

The towncar pulls up, as we PULL BACK to reveal a hole in theground

SYBIL (VO)Stop, stop here!

The doors open and the three of them get out. SYBIL is standingbehind them as they approach the hole, hands behind their heads

TANNERWhy’s there only one hole?



SYBILIs that a question you ask when you’re about readyto cheat on me again? It’s because I’m only buryingone of you here, the other is in a different part of town. God forbid you came back from the dead andwanted to find eachother again, at least I’m going tomake that difficult. Stop.

The two stop and turn to face her

TANNERI’m very sorry, I’ve never meant to hurt you, youknow I love you

SYBILI know that Tanner, I really do, but hell hath no furylike a woman scorned

TANNERWhat does that mean?

SYBILI don’t know dear, I heard it in a movie. You know,

when you asked me to marry you, you told me it’dbe eternal love, that’d no matter what, we’d betogether forever, and now…now look at where weare. ‘Til death do us part, right?

SYBIL cocks the gun and aims at TANNER just as KRYSTAL grabsthe shovel and hits her in the side of the head with it. SYBIL goesdown hard, and TANNER grabs the gun, then kicks SYBIL into thehole as she looks up at him

TANNERYou’re right dear, ‘til death do us part

SMASHCUT TO BLACK as we hear a gunshot



INT. SINCLAIR HOUSEHOLD-NIGHT

TANNER and KRYSTAL are standing at the doorstep as they hugone another

KRYSTALI was so scared

TANNERIt’s ok, she’s gone, she can never hurt us again.We’re free now. Now, you should go home and getsome rest, I’m going to do the same, and I will callyou in the morning, we can do breakfast andexchange ideas about living arrangements

KRYSTAL smiles

KRYSTALGoodnight love

TANNERGoodnight darling

INT. TANNER’S BEDROOM-NIGHT

TANNER enters and sits on the side of the bed, taking his coat off and as he’s taking his tie off, he looks at the nightstand and notices aphoto of himself and SYBIL on a beach, both holding glasses

TANNERI’m so sorry dear…

TANNER puts the photo facedown on the table and lays down on hisside, quietly going to sleep. As time passes and the room gets darker then lighter, a hand is put on his shoulder

SYBILDear, it’s time to wake up

TANNERNot yet…there’s too much morning outside



SYBILWell, I need to speak to you about last night, andhow you tried to kill me

TANNEROh we can get past that can’t…

TANNER opens his eyes, rolls over and sits up, and finds himself staring at SYBIL sitting on the side of the bed, a huge hole throughher right eye and he screams, then picks up a light

SYBILDarling, don’t destroy the furniture

TANNERYOU’RE DEAD!

SYBILHow so very observant of you

TANNERI shot you! I SHOT you, I can see the bullethole!How are you here?!

SYBILTil death do us part, Tanner, BOTH of us

TANNEROh good god

TANNER sits down in a chair, still holding the lamp

SYBIL

Now dear, I’ve been very busy being dead, so Ithink we need to catch up on some things

TANNERThis isn’t happening, this is a dream, that’s it! I’mhaving a nightmare! I terrible, horrible nightmare!



SYBILDarling, if anyone of us is having a nightmare, it’sme. Now listen to me, we need to put the pastbehind us, you monster, and move on with our lives

TANNERLIVES? You have no life! I took it from you!

SYBILAnd yet, here I am, sitting here discussing my ownmurder with my husband

TANNERSo what are you?

SYBILI think the technical term, is “undead”

TANNER stands up and starts pacing as SYBIL watches him, and helooks at her, she smiles and he shudders

TANNERCover up your eye please, it is not pleasant to look

at!

SYBILYou made it that way. Where are the Halloweencostumes?

TANNERIn the closet

SYBIL moves to the closet and opens it up, then bends down to open

boxes. TANNER pulls a letter off the desk and repeatedly stabsSYBIL in the back, but she stands unaffected, not even flinching or turning around

SYBILStop that please, it’s quite irritating



She turns around and has an eyepatch on her face

TANNERI must say, that looks quite dashing

SYBILI know. Now, let’s talk about US, you and me.You’ve been having an affair, and you murderedme, understandable

TANNERIt IS?

SYBIL

Well yes darling, you were upset and we were alldrunk, it’s nobodies fault that it happened, whatmatters now is that I’m here, and we can put thepast behind us, you son of a bitch, and moveforward with our lives. I suggest that we go and seea marriage counselor

TANNER…you’re the living dead, Sybil, you can’t leave this

house, god forbid Krystal saw you!

SYBILOh she won’t see me, because you aren’t seeingher anymore. You’re going to call her right now, andleave her a message explaining how you’ve felt sobad about what you’ve done that you can never bewith her again, thus breaking her heart and makingher despise you

TANNERThis can’t be happening

SYBILOh but it is



TANNERCan I at least tell her in person? It’s so cruel to haveto do it not face to face, please? Grant me thatserenity?

SYBIL…ok Tanner, but on one condition

INT. BOUCHARDS-BRUNCH

TANNER is seated at a table while SYBIL is seated behind him at atable in a corner, her face wrapped in a scarf. A waiter approachesTANNER

WAITER

Can I get you something while you wait, sir?

TANNERUm, yes, a martini, dry please, and send some redwine back to the burn victim, my treat

WAITERCertainly sir

KRYSTAL passes the waiter and seats herself

KRYSTALWhat took you so long to call me today, love?

KRYSTAL reaches forward to hold his hand

TANNERDon’t hold my hand

KRYSTALWhy?

TANNER leans forward a bit and whispers through his teeth

TANNERShe’s heeereee



KRYSTAL

Who, darling?

TANNERSybil, she’s HERE, she’s right behind me, seated atthe table

KRYSTALThat’s absolutely impossible, love, your wife is dead

TANNERAnd yet she’s here, Krystal, she’s seated right backthere, dressed like a muslim, drinking red wine that I

just ordered for her

KRYSTALAnd how is she here when we put her in the groundlast night?

TANNEROk, this is going to sound completely crazy, butshe’s not dead…she’s undead, she came back from

the dead

KRYSTAL stares at him, then folds her arms

KRYSTALYou’re trying to blow me off now aren’t you?

TANNERWhat?

KRYSTALThat’s it isn’t it? You’ve had your fun with me andnow that you’re free of your wife, you want moretime to have more fun with more women!



TANNERNo, this isn’t a joke or a blow off or anything, she ishere, she is a zombie and she is seated three tablesback drinking red wine!

KRYSTALSure Tanner, whatever you say, don’t call meanymore

TANNERKrystal you have to help me!

KRYSTALYou can’t help you

TANNERI know, that’s why YOU have to help me!

KRYSTAL gets up and leaves. SYBIL comes and sits with him

SYBILHow did she take it? Horribly I hope

TANNERI would say I’m going to kill you, but clearly that’simpossible

INT. COUNTRY CLUB-DAY

DAISY-an absolutely stunning young blonde is standing at theregistration desk, writing something-when TANNER enters

TANNERDaisy

DAISYOh, good afternoon, Mr. Sinclair

TANNERWriting something?



DAISYDoodling, it’s dreadfully boring here. Do you needsomething?

TANNERYes, I’m here to speak with an associate of mine,Sean Palmer?

DAISYYes sir, Mr. Palmer is upstairs waiting for you, youcan go right up

TANNER starts to leave, then turns around and leans back into thedesk

TANNERWhat do you know about the supernatural?

DAISYWhat do you mean?

TANNERLike, zombies…and stuff

DAISYWell I’ve seen movies, but I don’t know much, I likedthe wolfman more anyway

TANNERReally?

DAISYOh yes, sir, he was always my favorite, I love

animals

TANNERDo you have any pets?



DAISYNo, I would love to get a puppy, but unfortunately I

just do not have the time for one right now

TANNERThank you Daisy

INT. SEAN’S SUITE-DAY

TANNER enters and finds SEAN seated on a recliner, drinkingscotch. SEAN is a brunette, longer hair, stubble, certainly a playboytype, in a blue suit

SEANTanner!

TANNERHello, Sean

SEANYou don’t look so good, my friend

TANNERI’ve had a rough couple nights

SEANI heard that there was a bit of a scuffle between youtwo

TANNERWho told you that?

SEANKrystal did

TANNERShe told you what happened?

SEANYes



TANNERAnd?

SEANShe also told me how you seem to think that Sybil isback from the dead

TANNER sits down, puts his face in his hands and sighs

TANNERShe IS you idiot! She came back from the dead!She’s sitting at home right now, reading Home &Garden! Imagine that, a zombie reading Home &Garden!

SEANTanner, have you been drinking?

TANNERYes, but I’m always up for more

TANNER takes the bottle of scotch and drinks it

SEANI’ve come into town to speak to you about a problemwith the business, a few of my workers have turnedup dead recently

TANNERThat problems been all around town apparently

SEANThis is serious. These guys have been found

with….parts of them missing….it’s really quitedisgusting. Arms torn off, faces ripped to shreds, it’sabsolutely hideous!

TANNERThat doesn’t sound pleasant for either party



SEANTanner, I want you to come out to the site andspeak to someone in human resources, they callhim Woodward, he’s very good at handling thesesorts of cases. Daniel Woodward. Now listen, wehave to keep this quiet, because if the Better Business Beura got hold of what’s been happeningat the construction sites, it’d make US look guilty,and you don’t need anymore trouble with death,from what I’m hearing

TANNERWhat do YOU think it is?

SEANPersonally? Bears? I don’t know. We’re buildingwoodland cottages, it could be a number of things,mountain lions, wolves, you know, any sort of wildanimal, or it could be a mass serial killer

TANNERWell that sounds like somewhere I’d want to live

SEANSpeak to Daisy, and she’ll give you the address tothe cottages

TANNERWill do Sean

INT. SINCLAIR HOUSEHOLD-DAY

TANNER enters and finds SYBIL sitting in a chair watching TV

TANNERHaving a good day, darling?

SYBILNot particularly, in fact, once you’re dead, nothingon TV really interests you



TANNERThat’s a shame. How do you feel about coming withme to the cottages Sean Palmer is constructing?There’s been a rash of murders, and he’s instructedme to speak to someone about it

SYBILSeeing as how you’re now so overly qualified?

TANNERI think I have to kill more than 1 person to be“overly” qualified

SYBIL

Hmmm…good point, ok, well I’ll come along

TANNERWrap up, it’ll be cold and we can’t have anyoneseeing your face, less they recognize you, so here’sthe story, you’re my sister, you’re a burn victim,caught in a terrible fire, and you’ve recently come tostay with me because I can afford to give you thetreatment that you need

SYBILThat sounds fullproof

TANNERGood, now hurry, I’ll be waiting in the town car

INT. TOWNCAR BACKSEAT-DAY

TANNER and SYBIL are seated as they’re driven to the cottages

TANNERSo do you find yourself hungering for brains?

SYBILDon’t be stupid, Tanner, it’s not anything like themovies, I’m actually still just myself, just not alive



TANNERSo you’re not going to eat me?

SYBILDon’t say things that you’re not sure of, I’m still madat you

INT. COTTAGE OFFICE-DAY

TANNER and SYBIL enter and walk to the front desk where they findDIASY seated there

TANNERDaisy?

DAISYHello sir, Sean sent me here to help you

TANNEROh, you’re not working here?

DAISYNo, I just didn’t have a place to sit

A thin, hipster looking man comes out from the back room. He’s inplaid, torn jeans, glasses with black ruffled hair and a beard

TANNERExcuse me sir?

JONSEYYeah?

TANNER

Are you in charge here?

JONSEYI guess so, since no one else is here, how can Ihelp you?



TANNERI’m here to discuss the rash of murders

JONSEYOh, yeah, alright, come on back. It won’t take long,I’m Jonsey by the way, Jonsey McCoy, leaddesigner, architect

TANNERNice to meet you, I’m Tanner Sinclair, and this ismy…burn victim sister…Noel

JONSEYNice to meet you both

DAISYI’m Daisy, Daisy Fairchild, I work for Mr. Palmer

JONSEYI’ve seen you around before, it’s not every day avery beautiful women comes out here, so I’venoticed you

DAISY smiles as JONSEY holds the door open

JONSEYAfter you folks

INT. BACK SHED-DAY

They group stops at the shed as JONSEY fishes for his keys in hispocket

JONSEY

Now I’m warning you, this may be a bit disgusting,most people are squeamish when it comes toseeing something like this, so if you don’t have thestomach for it, you should just leave right now

TANNER turns but SYBIL grabs his arm



SYBILYou can’t go, you’re management

TANNER (in a high pitched voice)But it’s groooossss!

JONSEY opens the shed door and they all enter

JONSEYThere’s been 4 and a 5th guys gone now, it’s beenterrible. Happens at night we’ve figured, we alwaysfind them a day later, just…ripped to shreds.Whoever’s doing this is a maniac

DAISYIt looks like the work of a professional, personally.My uncle was in homicide, and this doesn’t look likeit was done by any sort of animal, it looks like aperson did this

JONSEYWell, beautiful and smart

DAISYI know my things

TANNER looks at SYBIL

TANNERAm I beautiful and smart?

SYBILYou’re lovely, you make my heart flutter

JONSEYAnyway, this is a gruesome sight, not one that I’dlike to look at

TANNERWho finds them?



JONSEY

I’m always the first guy here, because I want to getextra time in to check that everything’s looking thesame as I drew it, then take notes on what isn’t, soit’s usually me. I didn’t find the 4th guy, that wasSean

TANNERWhere do you find them?

JONSEY sighs, crosses his arms as he leans against the wall

JONSEY

Depends, sometimes it’s…in the middle of the road,sometimes it’s right next to the building, it varies,which makes it harder to catch whoevers doing it,because they don’t stay in one specific spot, so wecan’t just stake out that one area and hope to catchthem

DAISYThey’re smart, whoever they are

JONSEYYeah, and we only have so much evidence to goon, and can only hold off the police for so longbefore the families start asking questions. We’vebeen telling them they’ve just been working late, butwives always wanted to know where their husbandsare

SYBIL looks at TANNER

DAISYThese poor men, I really hope they find who’s doingthis

TANNERHow late do you work, Jonsey?



JONSEYAlmost all night, I clock out at around 2 or so for anhour to get a nap, but besides that, I’m workingnonstop, but I’m rarely working HERE, I have asmall motel about 5 minutes away that I’m stayingat

TANNERWell, we’ll see what we can do

INT. TOWNCAR-EARLY EVENING

TANNER and SYBIL are sitting silently, until TANNER breaks thesilence

TANNERWhat do you think?

SYBILI think that personally, it’s none of our business, wehave enough death to deal with at this point in time.I’ve got nothing to do at home, Tanner! I’m bored! Ican’t go out because I can’t be recognized as this,and I can’t stay home because there’s nothing for

me to do!

TANNERWell nobody asked you to come back from the dead

TANNER sips his drink

SYBILI’m serious…what happened?

TANNERWhat do you mean?

SYBILThere was a time when…when we did thingstogether…when we were happy and you didn’t haveto cheat on me. What happened to that? Now look



JONSEY hangs up and wipes his forehead then hears somepounding outside. JONSEY stands up and approaches the door, thenhears screaming of absolute terror and he runs to the door, thenlistens until he hears it again. He turns and rushes into the woods

JONSEYHello?! Hey, are you ok!?

JONSEY walks deeper in and hears nothing but silence now. Justthen he sees DAISY coming out of the woodwork and she stumblesto him, cut and bruised

DAISY

JONSEY!

JONSEYDaisy! What happened, what’re you still doinghere?!

DAISYI was looking at the cottages, just seeing if I wantedone, and I was with one of the workers, Tom?

JONSEYYeah I know Tom, where is he?

DAISYI don’t know! We were walking back to my car andhe got grabbed and then I got attacked, but he’s notbehind me anymore, I don’t know what happened tohim!

JONSEY hugs her

JONSEYThank god you’re ok, come on, let’s get back intothe office where it’s safe



DAISYOk

INT. SINCLAIR BEDROOM-NIGHT

TANNER is asleep and the door slowly opens as SYBIL enters andwalks into the bathroom. She turns the light on and looks at herself inthe mirror, then turns on the faucet and starts to wash her hands, andblood pours off them

SMASHCUT TO BLACK



To BeContinued

burbs (pilot)

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