6 HASHALOM █ October 2014 October 2014 █ HASHALOM 7

J E W I S H W O R L D

The symbols of the Jewish wedding ceremony are familiar to most Jews, regardless of their level of observance.

The chuppah, the ketubah, the simple wedding ring, and the breaking of glass, among other things, distinguish a Jewish wedding from its non-Jewish counterpart. Add to these the presence of both parents in the processional, klezmer or other Jewish music, and lifting the bride and groom high in the air on chairs, and our sense of simcha becomes even more tangible.

Less familiar to many Jews, however, are the many “updates” of traditional Jewish wedding rituals that have become increasingly popular among brides and grooms. An engaged Jewish couple has many options to choose from as they plan their ceremony, some of which would have been unheard of just 25 to 35 years ago.

Many modern wedding customs--such as adding a clause into the ketubah or adorning the chuppah--are within the bounds of Halacha and may be comfortably adopted by Orthodox couples.

Ketubah: Legal Document or Statement of Commitment?The text of the traditional ketubah, which has stayed largely the same for centuries, is entirely legalistic. There is no mention of G-d, love, or romance. Signed by two witnesses, the contract verifies that the groom has acquired the bride and agrees to provide for her, and includes a lien to be paid by the groom in the case of a divorce. The bride accepts the arrangement.

Since the 1970s, Jewish couples have dealt with these limitations on the woman’s role in a variety of ways. Some add a clause that uses financial incentives to encourage the husband to grant the wife a religious divorce in the event that the marriage ends. These extra words help protect the woman from becoming an agunah, or “chained wife”. This situation results when the husband will not grant the wife a get, thus preventing her from being able to marry again in accordance with Jewish law.

Other couples maintain the traditional Aramaic text but add their own English text that describes the home they want to build together or the nature of the love they share. Today’s ketubot also differ from those of immediately past generations in regard to their artistry. Many modern-day brides and grooms choose their ketubot from “galleries,” both real and virtual. Some design their own ketubot with treasured symbols, or commission a Jewish artist to do it for them. Far from a piece of paper kept in a drawer for safekeeping, today’s ketubot are typically adorned, framed, and prominently displayed in Jewish homes.

In adding ornamentation to their ketubah, couples today are not so much inventing a new tradition as reviving an old one. Most prominently in the late medieval period in Middle Eastern nations, Jews decorated their ketubot with brilliant illumination.

Personalizing the ChuppahThe Chuppah has taken a variety of forms throughout Jewish history. In the early medieval period, the groom would place a tallit or veil over his bride, covering her as a symbol of the marriage’s consummation. But with the use of portable canopies in 16th-century Eastern Europe, the chuppah began to refer more to the tent or structure itself and less to the act of covering the bride.

Since there are no legal requirements specifying the dimensions, shape, or ornamentation of a chuppah, modern-day couples make their own decisions regarding its design, and these too, like the ketubah, reflect personal values and priorities. Some use their synagogues’ chuppot, while others construct their own.

Two Rings, Not OneJewish tradition calls for the groom to present the bride with an unpierced metal band as a symbol of his promise of marriage to her. When doing so, he must recite the Jewish marriage formula in Hebrew. She must accept it, but is not legally bound to utter any words or do anything other than place it on her finger.

Today, many Jews typically choose a more active role for the bride in the ring ceremony. Most commonly, a double-ring ceremony takes place, in which the bride reciprocates the groom’s gesture.

Many modern couples choose to verbally exchange their vows just before or after the ring ceremony. Although not a part of the traditional Jewish wedding, some couples write their own vows. This practice is testimony to the large influence of western cultural practice on Jewish wedding rituals.

Breaking the Glass TogetherMost of the time, we think of glass breaking as an act the groom does at the end of the wedding ceremony. At that moment all those invited shout “Mazal tov!” and get ready for the reception. Now, some couples share this act, with the bride and groom breaking the glass together.

Valerie S. Thaler is a Ph.D. student in the Judaic Studies Program at Yale, where she concentrates on 20th-century American Jewish history. Valerie received her M.A. in Judaic Studies and Jewish Education from Brandeis, and has her B.A. in American Studies from Yale.

WHAT’S NEW ABOUT THE TRADITIONAL JEWISH WEDDING?By Valerie S. Thaler - myjewishlearning.com

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