california association for the gifted gifted education

Counseling & Guidance

C A L I F O R N I A A S S O C I A T I O N F O R T H E G I F T E D

Gifted Education CommunicatorSpring 2006, Vol 37, No. 1 A Journal for Educators and Parents$10.00

Solution-Focused CounselingGetting Beyond Perfectionism

Counseling Gifted MalesNurturing Social Relationships

*GEComm Spring 06 cover2.qxd 3/8/07 10:11 AM

National Advisory BoardErnesto Bernal San Antonio Gifted Education Foundation

George Betts University of Northern Colorado, Greeley

Victoria Bortolussi Moorpark College, CA

Carolyn Callahan University of Virginia

Barbara Clark California State University, Los Angeles

Tracy Cross Ball State University

James Delisle Kent State University

Maureen DiMarco Houghton Mifflin Co.

Jerry Flack University of Colorado

Judy Galbraith Free Spirit Publishing, Minneapolis

James Gallagher University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

Julie Gonzales Colorado Association for Gifted & Talented

Sandra Kaplan University of Southern California

Frances Karnes The University of Southern Mississippi

Felice Kaufmann Consultant, Bethesda, MD

Jann Leppien University of Great Falls, MT

Sharon Lind Education Consultant, Kent, WA

Elizabeth Meckstroth Counselor/Consultant, Evanston, IL

Maureen Neihart Clinical Child Psychologist, Billings, MT

Sally Reis University of Connecticut, Storrs

Joseph Renzulli National Research Center on the Gifted & Talented

Sylvia Rimm Family Achievement Clinic

Ann Robinson University of Arkansas at Little Rock

Annemarie Roeper Roeper Consultation Service

Karen B. Rogers University of St. Thomas

Judith Roseberry Consultant, Fountain Valley, CA

Linda Silverman Gifted Development Center

Elinor Ruth Smith Educational Consultant, San Diego, CA

Joan Franklin Smutny National Louis University

Robert Sternberg Yale University

Stephanie Tolan Consultant, Charlotte, NC

Carol Ann Tomlinson University of Virginia

Joyce VanTassel-Baska College of William & Mary

Sally Walker Illinois Association for Gifted Children

James Webb Great Potential Press/SENG

Gifted Education CommunicatorPublished by the California Association for the Gifted (CAG)

Design: BBM&D 805-667-6671 or [email protected]

CAG Executive Committee 2002–2004President

Judith J. Roseberry

President ElectMarilyn Lane

SecretaryCathleen Silva

TreasurerJudith J. Roseberry

Chair, Educator RepresentativesEileen Galarze

Chair, Parent RepresentativesDeborah Hazelton

Past PresidentDana Reupert

Gifted Education CommunicatorEditor

Margaret [email protected] EditorBarbara Clark

[email protected]

Associate EditorsParent Topics Jennifer Beaver

[email protected]

Special Projects Richard [email protected]

Curriculum & Calendar Ann [email protected] Riley

Book Reviews Elaine [email protected]

DepartmentsSoftware Review Marge HoctorAuthor Interviews Felice Kaufmann

Internet Resources Carolyn KottmeyerThe Inner Game Maureen Neihart

Illustrations Jon PearsonParent Talk Nancy Robinson

Children’s Literature Jody Fickes ShapiroUnderrepresented Populations Joan Franklin Smutny

Teacher Talk Carol Ann TomlinsonIllustrations Ken Vinton

Carpe Diem Elaine Wiener

Gifted Education Communicator ISSN 1531-7382 is published four times ayear: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Opinions expressed by individualauthors do not officially represent positions of the California Association forthe Gifted.

CAG OFFICESusan Seamons, Executive Director

1215 K Street, Suite 940Sacramento, CA 95814

Tel: 916-441-3999 • Fax: 916-441-2999e-mail: [email protected] www.CAGifted.org

LETTERS TO THE EDITORMargaret Gosfield

3136 Calle Mariposa, Santa Barbara, CA 93105Tel: 805-687-9352 • Fax: 805-687-1527

e-mail: [email protected]

Letters should include your full name, address, telephone, and e-mail address.Letters may be edited for clarity and space.

ADVERTISINGFor advertising rates and information, contact the CAG office at 916-441-3999 or visit the CAG website at www.CAGifted.org.

SUBMISSION OF MATERIALTo submit articles for publication, send articles by e-mail to the editor [email protected]. All submissions will be given careful consideration. Photosand camera-ready artwork are particularly desirable. The editorial staffreserves the right to edit all material in accordance with APA style andGifted Education Communicator policy.

REPRINTING OF MATERIALSArticles appearing in Gifted Education Communicator may be reprinted asdesired unless marked by © or reprinted from another source. Please creditGifted Education Communicator and send a copy of your publication con-taining the reprint to the editor. For electronic reprinting, please contactthe editor.

BACK ISSUESAdditional copies and back issues may be purchased (if available) for $10.00per copy including postage. To order, contact the CAG office.

*GEComm Spring 06 cover2.qxd 3/8/07 10:11 AM

Spring 2006, Vol. 37, No. 1 ISSN 1531-7382

Gifted Education CommunicatorA Journal for Educators and Parents

F E AT U R E S

14 Reclaiming Teaching as a Helping ProfessionMeredith Greene

18 Nurturing Social RelationshipsElizabeth Meckstroth

24 Counseling Gifted Males Thomas P. Hébert

27 Change Your Story, Change Your LifeStephanie Tolan

30 Getting Beyond PerfectionismThomas S. Greenspon

34 The Application of Solution-Focused Counselingwith Gifted StudentsNorma L. Day-Vines & Susannah Wood

41 Effective Counseling QualitiesAndrew Mahoney

42 Counseling Gifted and Talented StudentsNicholas Colangelo

46 Giftedness and High School DropoutsJoseph R. Renzulli & Sunghee Park

D E PA R T M E N T S

STUDENT VOICES7 Becoming a Writer

Stefanie Brawn

PARENT TALK9 Counseling Issues for Gifted Students

Nancy M. Robinson

THE INNER GAME: PSYCHOLOGICAL PREPAREDNESS11 Working on the Edge of Competence

Maureen Neihart

PARENT-TO-PARENT13 College, Career, & Future Planning Resource List

Jennifer Beaver

HANDS-ON CURRICULUM47 Family Flavors

Jim Riley and Ann Macdonald

C o u n s e l i n g & G u i d a n c e f o r G i f t e d C h i l d r e n

CARPE DIEM49 Emotional Damage

Elaine S. Wiener

WEB WATCH50 Counseling & Guidance

Carolyn Kottmeyer

SOFTWARE REVIEW52 The Factory

Marge Hoctor

BOOK REVIEWS

54 The Examined Life by David A. WhiteReviewed by Elaine Wiener

3 From the Editor

4 Calendar of Conferences

Cover photo by Geneva Wayne. School psychologist Rondi Campbell works withstudents at Main Elementary School in Carpinteria, CA.

Upcoming IssuesFall - Interdisciplinary Studies: Social Science

Winter - Middle School Gifted Programs

Spring - Identification

Coming in the Summer IssueComputers & Technology

• Online Data Base for Differentiation

• Students Creating E-books

• Teaching Students the New Literacies

CALIFORNIA ASSOCIATION FOR THE GIFTED 1

Advertisers IndexFree Spirit Publishing.............Inside front cover

Think It By Hand..........................................5

Gifted Students Academy–UCI........................6

Cal/West Educators Placement......................51

Summer Institute for the Gifted....................55

Dr. B’s Science Destinations....Inside back cover

*GEComm Spring 06 1-23.qxd 3/8/07 10:42 AM Page 1

2 GIFTED EDUCATION COMMUNICATOR, SPRING 2006

National Advisory BoardErnesto Bernal San Antonio Gifted Education Foundation

George Betts University of Northern Colorado, Greeley

Victoria Bortolussi Moorpark College, CA

Carolyn Callahan University of Virginia

Barbara Clark California State University, Los Angeles

Tracy Cross Ball State University

James Delisle Kent State University

Maureen DiMarco Houghton Mifflin Co.

Jerry Flack University of Colorado

Judy Galbraith Free Spirit Publishing, Minneapolis

James Gallagher University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

Julie Gonzales Colorado Association for Gifted & Talented

Sandra Kaplan University of Southern California

Frances Karnes The University of Southern Mississippi

Felice Kaufmann Consultant, Bethesda, MD

Jann Leppien University of Great Falls, MT

Sharon Lind Education Consultant, Kent, WA

Elizabeth Meckstroth Counselor/Consultant, Evanston, IL

Maureen Neihart Clinical Child Psychologist, Billings, MT

Sally Reis University of Connecticut, Storrs

Joseph Renzulli National Research Center on the Gifted & Talented

Sylvia Rimm Family Achievement Clinic

Ann Robinson University of Arkansas at Little Rock

Annemarie Roeper Roeper Consultation Service

Karen B. Rogers University of St. Thomas

Judith Roseberry Consultant, Fountain Valley, CA

Linda Silverman Gifted Development Center

Elinor Ruth Smith Educational Consultant, San Diego, CA

Joan Franklin Smutny National Louis University

Robert Sternberg Yale University

Stephanie Tolan Consultant, Charlotte, NC

Carol Ann Tomlinson University of Virginia

Joyce VanTassel-Baska College of William & Mary

Sally Walker Illinois Association for Gifted Children

James Webb Great Potential Press/SENG


Design: BBM&D 805-667-6671 or [email protected]

CAG Executive Committee 2002–2004President

Judith J. Roseberry

President ElectMarilyn Lane

SecretaryCathleen Silva

TreasurerJudith J. Roseberry

Chair, Educator RepresentativesEileen Galarze

Chair, Parent RepresentativesDeborah Hazelton

Past PresidentDana Reupert

Gifted Education CommunicatorEditor

Margaret [email protected] EditorBarbara Clark

[email protected]

Associate EditorsParent Topics Jennifer Beaver

[email protected]

Special Projects Richard [email protected]

Curriculum & Calendar Ann [email protected] Riley

Book Reviews Elaine [email protected]

DepartmentsSoftware Review Marge HoctorAuthor Interviews Felice Kaufmann

Internet Resources Carolyn KottmeyerThe Inner Game Maureen Neihart

Illustrations Jon PearsonParent Talk Nancy Robinson

Children’s Literature Jody Fickes ShapiroUnderrepresented Populations Joan Franklin Smutny

Teacher Talk Carol Ann TomlinsonIllustrations Ken Vinton

Carpe Diem Elaine Wiener

Gifted Education Communicator ISSN 1531-7382 is published four times ayear: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Opinions expressed by individualauthors do not officially represent positions of the California Association forthe Gifted.

CAG OFFICESusan Seamons, Executive Director

1215 K Street, Suite 940Sacramento, CA 95814

Tel: 916-441-3999 • Fax: 916-441-2999e-mail: [email protected] www.CAGifted.org

LETTERS TO THE EDITORMargaret Gosfield

3136 Calle Mariposa, Santa Barbara, CA 93105Tel: 805-687-9352 • Fax: 805-687-1527

e-mail: [email protected]

Letters should include your full name, address, telephone, and e-mail address.Letters may be edited for clarity and space.

ADVERTISINGFor advertising rates and information, contact the CAG office at 916-441-3999 or visit the CAG website at www.CAGifted.org.

SUBMISSION OF MATERIALTo submit articles for publication, send articles by e-mail to the editor [email protected]. All submissions will be given careful consideration. Photosand camera-ready artwork are particularly desirable. The editorial staffreserves the right to edit all material in accordance with APA style andGifted Education Communicator policy.

REPRINTING OF MATERIALSArticles appearing in Gifted Education Communicator may be reprinted asdesired unless marked by © or reprinted from another source. Please creditGifted Education Communicator and send a copy of your publication con-taining the reprint to the editor. For electronic reprinting, please contactthe editor.

BACK ISSUESAdditional copies and back issues may be purchased (if available) for $10.00per copy including postage. To order, contact the CAG office.


Counseling and guidance for gifted youthseems such an obvious need, but one withinadequate support. How can we everexpect funding to provide quality and suf-ficient counseling and guidance when weare underfunded in so many other aspectsof gifted education? And how will we everconvince schools of education to requiretraining in serving gifted children for thoseindividuals studying to become school

counselors and school psychologists, when most of them fail torequire even teacher preservice or inservice training in gifted edu-cation? It often seems far beyond our grasp.

Nevertheless, as the pragmatic journal that we are, this issue ofGifted Education Communicator brings articles of informationregarding counseling and guidance for gifted learners that wehope you can put to use in your classrooms and homes with aminimum of additional work or materials. The children are inour classrooms and homes right now and cannot wait for someperfect time in the future.

Meredith Greene leads off with her article, “ReclaimingTeaching as a Helping Profession.” When she went to graduateschool for a counseling degree, she lamented the fact that she hadnot had this training earlier for use during her teaching years,since teachers in fact serve as counselors to their students in somany ways. She alerts teachers to seven “rules” that will help themprovide the counseling connections their students may need.

Elizabeth Meckstroth follows with an article primarily direct-ed toward parents, but including valuable insights for educatorsas well. Noting that the greater a child’s intelligence, the more dif-ficult it is for him or her to find social peers, Meckstroth firstexplains the underlying causes that make gifted children requirespecial counseling considerations. Next she turns to specific waysin which parents and educators can play pivotal roles in“Nurturing Social Relationships” for gifted children.

While teaching gifted middle school students, Thomas Hébertdiscovered that gifted boys do not respond in the same way asgifted girls in affective areas of learning. He has developed twokey strategies for encouraging gifted boys to explore and copewith feelings and personal concerns:

• “Talking while doing”• “Movies as discussion facilitators”

These strategies can readily be incorporated into existing classes—especially language arts and social studies. In “Counsel-ing Gifted Males,” Hébert shows us how.

Fiction author Stephanie Tolan makes her living telling stories,and points out that we are all creating stories throughout ourdaily experiences. We give meaning to our experiences and there-fore we can change our stories if we choose. In her article,“Change Your Story, Change Your Life,” she illustrates her pointwith many telling examples.

Tom Greenspon is best known for his book, Freeing OurFamilies From Perfectionism. As a “recovering perfectionist,”Greenspon knows his subject matter well. In “Getting BeyondPerfectionism” he shares important distinctions between “perfec-tionism” and the “pursuit of excellence,” and offers guidelines forassisting children in getting beyond perfectionism to a healthyacceptance of mistakes as learning events.

Current school counselors have little time in their daily sched-ules for personal counseling of any students—gifted or otherwise.To ameliorate this situation, Norma Day-Vines and SusannahWood recommend “Solution-Focused Counseling with GiftedStudents.” They share their reasons why this counseling model isboth effective and time-efficient.

Finally, we include a National Research Center reprint ofNicholas Colangelo’s article, “Counseling Gifted and TalentedStudents.” As one who has focused on the social and emotion-al needs of gifted learners for many decades, his words carryspecial weight.

Many of our department contributors have honed in on thisissue’s theme as well. Most relevant are the following:

• “Counseling Issues for Gifted Students” by Nancy Robinson• “Working at the Edge of Competence” by Maureen Neihart• “College, Career, & Future Planning Resource List” by

Jennifer Beaver• “Emotional Damage” by Elaine Wiener• “Counseling and Guidance” (on the Web) by

Carolyn Kottmeyer

Once again we wish you success in your daily pursuit of edu-cating and parenting gifted children. We hope this issue pro-vides important tools to assist you in counseling and guidinggifted learners. n

–MARGARET GOSFIELD, Editor


F R O M T H E E D I T O R



2006

APRIL 5 – 9, 2006Council for Exceptional ChildrenSalt Lake City, [email protected]

APRIL 6 - 8, 2006Pennsylvania Association for Gifted Education (PAGE)Valley Forge Hilton, Valley Forge, PAwww.penngifted.org

APRIL 27 - 29, 2006Montana Association of Gifted and Talented Education(AGATE)GKwaTukNuk Resort/Best Western, Polson, MTwww.mtagate.org

MAY 5 - 7, 2006Beyond IQ (BIQ) BostonManchester, NHwww.giftedconferenceplanners.org

MAY 21 - 23, 2006Henry B. & Jocelyn Wallace National ResearchSymposium on Talent Development University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa, USAwww.education.uiowa.edu/belinblank/events/researchsym

JUNE 20 - 25, 2006Autonomous Learner Model Estes Park Center, Estes Park, COwww.alpspublishing.com

JULY 7 - 9, 2006SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted)Irvine, CAwww.sengifted.org/

JULY 10 - 21, 2006Confratute 2006University of Connecticut, Storrs, CTwww.gifted.uconn.edu/confratu.html

JULY 22 – 28, 2006EdufestBoise, IDwww.edufest.org

SEPTEMBER 27 - 29, 2006Australian Association for the Education of Gifted andTalented (AAEGT) Esplannade Hotel, Fremantle, Perth Western Australiawww.gifted2006.org.au

OCTOBER 5 - 6, 2006Wisconsin Association for Talented and Gifted (WATG)Kalahari Resort, Wisconsin Dells, WIwww.focol.org/wat

OCTOBER 8 - 10, 2006Kansas Association for the Gifted, Talented, andCreative (KGTC)Lawrence, KSwww.kgtc.org

OCTOBER 13 - 14, 2006Florida Association for the GiftedTBAwww.flagifted.org/

OCTOBER 15 - 16, 2006Ohio Association for Gifted Children Hilton Hotel Easton, Columbus, OHhttp://October 15 - 16, 2006/Conferences/conference.php

OCTOBER 15-17, 2006Missouri Conference on Gifted EducationTan-Tar-A at Lake of the Ozarkshttp://dese.mo.gov/divimprove/gifted/workcon2k2.html

OCTOBER 20 - 21, 2006New England Conference on Gifted and TalentedCrowne Plaza, Warwick, RIwww.necgt.org/

OCTOBER 20 - 21, 2006West Virginia Association for the Gifted and Talented-(WVAGT):Charleston House, Charleston, WVwww.wvgifted.org

OCTOBER 26 - 28. 2006Advocacy for Gifted and Talented Education in NewYork State (AGATE)Clarion Riverside Hotel, Rochester, NYwww.agateny.com

NOVEMBER 1 - 5, 2006National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) Charlotte, NCwww.nagc.org

NOVEMBER 2 - 5, 2005Texas Association for the Gifted and TalentedSan Antonio, TXwww.txgifted.org

2007MARCH 2 - 4, 2007California Association for the GiftedWestin Hotel and Convention Center, Santa Clara CA

NOVEMBER 7 - 11, 2007National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC)Minneapolis, MNwww.nagc.org

If your organization has a state or national event planned, please con-tact Ann MacDonald at: [email protected] to list your information.

C A L E N D A R O F C O N F E R E N C E S



S T U D E N T V O I C E S

Iwant to write something that will last a hundred years; some-thing that will make people sit up in amazement and say,“Yes, yes, that’s exactly how I feel, only I couldn’t find thewords to say it as she has.” I want to write something that

will be handed out in classrooms—something that will make stu-dents say, “I really liked that, but the teacher ruined it with allthat analysis; it’s more than that.” I want to capture a world andpaint it across the page in words. I want to create characters soreal, everyone will recognize some part of themselves in mywords.

I’ve always loved words. I can’t truly claim to have “alwaysknown” that I wanted to be a writer, but I think I have alwaysknown that I love to read. Some of my earliest memories are ofsitting on the couch with my father and a copy of some adventurestarring Curious George or Corduroy. I don’t recall precisely whenI first began to read to myself, but I do know that I was a puzzleto my first teachers. They didn’t know quite what to do with akindergartner who could read on a fourth-grade level.

Even so, I was not a writer. I planned to be a lot of things, butauthor was not on the list. When I was eight years old, I wantedto be a ballerina, a member of the Olympic equestrian team, andto play Meg Giry in The Phantom of the Opera. Since I was notso good at my ballet as I might have hoped, could not play Megif I could not dance, and didn’t ride a horse until I was fourteen,I was at a loss. At nine, I didn’t know what to do with my life.

Then a troupe of actors from the UC Santa Cruz’Shakespearean Drama class came to my school and performed AsYou Like It—and I knew the purpose of my life. I was going to bean actress. I was going to grace the stage, but not as Meg—Iwould play Rosalind. When I was twelve, this dream was modi-fied to include a few starring roles in Broadway musicals. Forgetsecondary characters like Meg; I was going to be Eponine in LesMiserables, Marguerite in The Scarlet Pimpernel, the Baker’s Wifein Into the Woods, Mother in Ragtime.

This career decision actually lasted until I was sixteen. I readall the time and even wrote some—just simple short stories and afew poems here and there. I enjoyed writing but it was a hobby,nothing more. Although I was writing more and more frequent-ly, relying more often on writing for relaxation and escape— evenbeginning a novel— becoming an author never entered my head.I was an actress… and that was everything!

It might have remained that way except for a stroke of luck. Isuppose I am a reinforcement of B.F. Skinner’s theory of behav-iorism—that we shun those actions that we know will bring uspunishment, continuing instead to do those things for which weknow we will be rewarded.

As a sophomore in high school, I was enrolled in a dualHistory/English course known as World Studies. The two sub-jects were integrated; we wrote diary entries from the French

Revolution, researched myths and wrote our own, and turned inpoems set during World War I. I reveled in this emphasis on thecreative. My teachers were extremely supportive, and my worksgarnered frequent praise, scribbled notes of enthusiastic raves.They told me I was good at this; I was a writer.

In eighth grade, my best friend, Rebekah, who adores costum-ing and fashion history, happened to have focused particularly onthe French Revolution—its fashions before, after, and in Englandat the time of the fighting. She and I became engrossed in the his-tory—in tales of Robespierre and Charlotte Corday, of Danton andMarat and St.Just. So during the unit on the French Revolutionwhen we were assigned to write a book—a children’s story narrat-ing five main events of the revolution—I was excited. I knewabout this time period.

I jumped fervently into the telling of the story; I wove theevents of a young girl’s life around the tennis court oath, thestorming of the Bastille, the death of Robespierre. In two weeks,

The Making of a Writer: Meet Stefanie Brawner



I turned in my story: a 42-page novella, illustrated with art of thetime and neatly bound.

Then I saw what the other students had turned in: picturebooks, five to seven pages long, with cartoonish illustrations,everything scrawled out in large font and simplistic words. As wesat and passed our books around, I felt momentarily embarrassed.I was already thought of as something of a nerd, not preciselyincluded in the society of the others. Once again I looked like anoverachiever, and people were giving me weird looks.

All of a sudden, it didn’t matter. I knew I had written so muchbecause I had enjoyed it more than any of the acting I had done.My teachers were pleased and told me that I wrote fantastic his-torical fiction. And then I knew: I was a writer.

I entered the school’s writing competition and swept theawards night, taking home seven. I joined the creative writingclass, started a creative writing club, entered—and won—morecompetitions. I continued work on my novel with a greater ener-gy than before. I helped to co-edit the school’s literary magazine.But the best experience was yet to come.

November is the annual National Novel Writing Month.Created in 1998 by a San Francisco man named Chris Baty, thegoal of NaNoWriMo, as participants call it, was to write a50,000-word novel between November 1 and November 31. Iknew several of my friends had done it the year before but I hadnot. I now signed up and during the last week in October wentto work plotting and creating characters, the only thing I wasallowed to do before the November 1 starting point. I made aschedule, figuring out how many words I needed by when andhow much I would have to write every day.

It was insanity—a mad rush of writing and creativity. Becauseof the time limit, there was hardly any room in my schedule forediting as I went. I had to trust my instincts and my abilities, let-ting go of perfectionism … simply writing.

By November 30, I had crossed the finish line, completing astory of more than fifty-seven thousand words—the tale of threeteens trying to make it through their first year A.P. classes and life

as average teenage girls.Every time I create a new character, I find a new friend. It

sounds strange to those who have never experienced it, but theyreally do come to life. They become so very real to their creator.And only then, when the characters are real enough to say thingsI didn’t expect, or do things I had not plotted, do I know thatthey are alive enough to convince my readers. Through their eyes,I discover new worlds and times, new perspectives on life. I bothescape from my life and learn about it— about who I am.

There’s so much more of that ahead. With my NaNoWriMonovel behind me—I intend to send it out for publishing soon—and the near completion of that first novel I began long ago, I’malready planning for the next adventure, the next batch of char-acters. I anticipate having published at least one, perhaps twobooks by the time I graduate from college. I hope to have writtenmore. I’ll be pursuing a Creative Writing major at Randolph-Macon Woman’s College in Virginia which is known for its excel-lent writing program. After that, it’ll just be one more story afteranother and a lifetime of worlds to conquer and friends to make. n

Editor’s Update*

Stefanie is now in her second year at Randolph-Macon, andreports that her goals and aspirations have remained much the sameas when she wrote her essay. “I still want to write all my life. I stillwant to major in Creative Writing and devote myself to producingstories that, firstly, make me happy, and secondly, other people canconnect to.”

When asked to give words of advice to young aspiring writers shesays, “Sit down and do it. The only way to improve is to keep at it.Reading widely is important, too, but writing comes first. It’s alsoimportant to remember to write for the sake of the story, not for pub-lication. The important thing is that it make you happy; focusing onwhether or not the story is good enough to be published or if the read-ers will like it will make you too nervous to write well. You canalways fix things later. Make yourself happy first.”



Gifted students are no more intrin-sically vulnerable in their social-emotional makeup than anyother group of students—and in

fact, as a group, they are probably a bit morerobust and resilient. On the other hand, nei-ther are gifted youngsters immune to any ofthe woes of childhood and adolescenceexcept one: mental retardation. Parents of

gifted children need to be as alert as other parents to the possibil-ities of depression, loneliness, anxiety, attention deficit, learningdisabilities, delinquency, and the like. Seeking counseling for suchissues is often wise and useful, as it would be for any student.

Special Challenges for the Gifted StudentOn the other hand, there are some situations that gifted stu-

dents face that other students don’t, and coping with these situa-tions can be stressful. Here are some:

• A school setting poorly matched to the level and pace oftheir learning—typically, ordinary classes that cover old ground,move too slowly, and fail to provide the challenge and satisfactionof mastering something new. Among other things, such settingscreate relentless, low-level feelings of irritation even in the mostkind-hearted students, draining energy that should be directed atgrowing and learning

• The stress of being “different”—not finding friends who“talk their language,” share their interests, pastimes, and aspira-tions. Bright students often feel that something is wrong withthem if they are unlike their classmates. For example, they aretypically less interested in spending time at the mall and moreinterested in talking about a great book they’ve discovered orplaying a musical instrument. Far too often—beginning in gradeschool—they try desperately to be just like everyone else andwonder why they feel so disconnected from themselves. Thosewho are also “different” for reasons of appearance, learning dis-ability, ethnicity, or sexual orientation have an extra burden todeal with.

• Growing up a little faster than expected—because giftedchildren are often somewhat more mature than their age mates,they may be impatient for the next step—ready for deeper friend-ships, older friends, more independence, the next grade, evenboy–girl relationships. They are “out of sync.”

• Lagging motivation and underachievement—especiallybecause they meet too few genuine challenges that match theirinterests and vision, gifted children may be especially prone tounderachievement. They may seem “lazy”; they may procrastinate(nothing like creating one’s own challenge by starting a term

paper the night before it’s due); they may simply turn off. • The stress of “multi-potentiality”—interests and abilities

that pull the student in many directions at once. (Actually,although many gifted students feel as though they are equallygood at a number of things, they are generally not really equallygood at all of them, but have little opportunity to find this out.)Not only may students feel confused about their choices, but theymay take on too many activities—too many AP classes, teamsports, drama clubs, math competitions, yearbook, communityprojects—and rob themselves of sleep, leisure, family time, andthe satisfaction of doing their best at something they love.

• The stress of high expectations—because they are used todoing so well academically, the occasional B or—oh, no, a C!—can be very unsettling and cause them to conclude that they’renot so smart, after all.

• The burden of perfectionism—high aspirations that exceedeveryone else’s, working much harder on projects and papers thannecessary, missing deadlines because something isn’t “goodenough” yet. Actually, the most pernicious part of perfectionismis not feeling that you don’t measure up to your own standards,but fearing (usually unrealistically) that you don’t measure up tothose of others.

• The “instant expert” expectation—avoiding activities thatpresent the possibility of not being the best, or at least, not rightaway because too much of their self-concept rests on being sogood at things without trying.

Many bright students “hate” sports or physical educationclasses because of this—not because they are especially clumsybut because they are unlikely to be the star.

Some Issues for Younger Gifted ChildrenAs bright as they may be, younger gifted children often do not

understand that their classmates are doing the best they can; theyare not being “stupid” or oppositional. Your child’s impatience isunderstandable, and it’s difficult to explain this situation in a waythat is respectful to the other children. In most cases, your childis not as great at sports, or drawing, or singing—or something—as some of the other students are, and you can use this fact in yourexplanation. At the same time, you should be working to find abetter educational match for your child.

And again, bright as they are, when they are moved into a classwith other highly capable children, or into a more advancedgrade, children may be disappointed that they are not automati-cally at the top of the class. Children need help understandingthat they are using a different comparison standard than before—that they are now the same fish but in a bigger pond. It’s best toprepare your child before the shift happens.

P A R E N T T A L K

Counseling Issues for Gifted StudentsMore Issues? Special Issues?

BY NANCY M. ROBINSON



Furthermore, gifted students sometimes learn about eventsand develop fears that send them into a tailspin—for example,death, inconstancy of friends, terrorism, suffering by childrenwho are the victims of natural or man-made disasters, the gener-al unfairness of life. Gifted young children have the awareness buthaven’t yet developed the “calluses” that come from weatheringsuch experiences. Often their classmates are blissfully ignorant ofsuch matters. You may need to minimize graphic sights on TV,but to approach the issue head-on with your child.

Sometimes it helps to flood your child with more factualinformation than she is asking for! A little boredom with theissue may be good medicine.

Special Counseling Needs of Gifted StudentsThe import of the preceding list of special issues is that the

counseling needs of gifted students are somewhat different thanthose most counselors are used to dealing with. It takes an under-standing counselor who will say neither, “There, there, dear – it’sall because you’re gifted (and therefore there’s something wrongwith you),” or “Buck up, kid; with your assets you should be ableto figure this out on your own (because there’s nothing wrongwith you).”

It may be that simply your understanding and warm supportwill help your student work through these issues, especially if youare able to advocate for school adjustments, facilitate your studentin finding compatible friends, and help to clarify and moderateyour student’s unrealistic self-expectations. You may find mattersimproving on their own, but perhaps not. Professional help maybe needed.

You may or may not be able to count on your student’s schoolcounselor for the services your student needs—not even the basiceducational and career counseling that we think is integral toschools. School counselors are too often overwhelmed by sheernumbers of students and the severity of their problems. Goodsources of referrals are the coordinator of gifted programs for yourdistrict or school, your physician, and parents of other gifted stu-dents who have worked successfully with a counselor.

Therefore, when looking for a counselor for your student—either an in-school person or someone in the community— ide-ally, you’ll be looking for someone who:

• is well trained in a research-validated approach such as cog-nitive behavior therapy or interpersonal therapy. (Don’t beafraid to ask.) The person you are looking for should have atleast a master’s degree in counseling, social work, or a similarprofession. Persons who call themselves psychologists willhave a doctoral degree.• has experience with gifted students of this age.• is reasonably bright and responsive to brightness in others,but not easily overwhelmed by intellect over emotions.• recognizes your student’s yearning for greater challenge anddeeper friendships as normal.• is aware that giftedness by itself does not produce problemsand that high standards and aspirations do not necessarily rep-resent maladaptive perfectionism.• is willing to consider a broad range of questions, includingsome career and educational issues.• is also willing to recommend seeing a physician about med-ication, if it seems called for.

Counseling/psychotherapy services, if obtained in the com-munity, are unfortunately not inexpensive and may not be cov-ered by insurance, especially because your student may not qual-ify for a mental health diagnosis that is covered by your carrier.(Talk with your physician about this.) Community mental healthclinics are seldom equipped to deal with the kinds of special issuesgifted children bring to the table, although they are worth inves-tigating. If finances are an issue, it is worth being an active advo-cate with your child’s school psychologist or school counselor,overworked as they may be. It’s clearly worth the cost of beingknown as a “pushy parent.”

So, don’t be surprised if your gifted child experiences some-thing of a rocky road. Childhood was never the blissful paradiseit is painted to be, and you needn’t panic if your ordinarily stableand upbeat child goes through rough spots from time to time.But if your child seems sad, anxious, or stressed for more than afew weeks, then do try to find professional help. And if the firstperson you find doesn’t click with your child, keep looking. Youmay be able to avert a good deal of distress—and keep your childfrom making poor, even dangerous choices down the road. n

NANCY M. ROBINSON, Ph.D. is Professor Emerita ofPsychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University ofWashington in Seattle, WA. She is the former director of theHalbert and Nancy Robinson Center for Young Scholars.Among her current research interests is behavioral and familyadjustment of gifted children. She may be reached at: [email protected].



Jackie, a fourth grader, has neither thepatience nor the tolerance for frustra-tion that she needs to persevere withthe more challenging work she is fac-

ing in her school’s new accelerated languageprogram. She often cries over homeworkand complains that the work is too hard orboring.

Adrian, an eighth grader, resists his teach-ers’ and parents’ encouragement to enroll in honors classes forhigh school. Although he is a fast learner with a good memoryand excellent study skills, he is hesitant about taking on morechallenging work because he’s not sure what grades he’ll earn. It’sa risk he thinks he doesn’t want to take.

Jackie and Adrian illustrate what can happen when high abili-ty students have had a lot of easy success and too little experiencewith disappointment, rejection, or setbacks. They are not used toworking hard and are unprepared to handle the emotions thatarise with unexpected outcomes. Since they don’t tolerate moder-ate levels of distress well, they prefer to stay in their comfort zone,completing tasks that they’ve already mastered. They shrink fromchallenge.

A willingness to work at the edge of one’s competence is thesecond of seven habits of mind that drive performance. Withoutit, even the most talented individuals do not go very far. The edgeof competence is the place where students have to reach andwhere they must work with others who have similar interests,abilities, and drive. The most important step in nudging studentstoward their edge of competence is to get them out of their com-fort zones: provide challenging curriculum that requires effort. Inaddition, we can also:

• create risk-friendly environments and relationships• teach students to view their mistakes with affection• require them to take realistic risks

In risk-friendly environments and relationships, students areencouraged to take reasonable chances and set their own goals for

some of their work. Working at the edge of competence meansthat a lot of mistakes will be made. We don’t want students toavoid risk, nor do we want them to always strive to minimize mis-takes because that is not the way to develop ability. We want stu-dents to extend themselves, to reach and expect mistakes, espe-cially when they are learning something new. They need to viewmistakes as learning opportunities and believe that failing doesn’tmake them a failure.

Consider, for instance, what might happen in a classroomwhere one of the daily goals is that everyone makes at least twomistakes and keeps track of them. Imagine how student attitudesmight change if teachers were to ask them, “What mistakes didyou make today?” Teachers who make it a habit to regularly sharewith their students what they are learning from their own mis-takes, positively influence their students’ attitudes and behaviorsabout working at the edge of competence. We learn to view ourmistakes with affection when we participate in a culture whereworthy mistakes are celebrated as acts of courage and mistakesmade at the edge of competence are valued for their learningpotential. Through our own modeling, by setting expectations,and by praising students when they take risks, we can establishthe norm that our classroom is a place where people take chancesand where taking chances is an essential part of learning.

In his memoir, On Writing, Stephen King described how hecollected rejection slips when he was sixteen, adding one afteranother to a nail on the wall of his attic bedroom until it was full.The quantity of rejection slips did not discourage him. He under-stood that every rejection presented an opportunity to improvehis writing and that only by accumulating a critical mass of rejec-tion slips was he likely to be published. So, too, many of our mostcapable students will learn to view their mistakes with affectionwhen they learn to expect and even plan for mistakes.

Since working at the edge of one’s competence always involvesrisk, an essential step in empowering talented students to reachtheir potential is to teach them how to take realistic risks. We canhelp them understand the need for realistic risk taking by firstasking them to define risk. What does it mean to take a chance?Many will say that risk taking means to do something where the

T H E I N N E R G A M E : P S Y C H O L O G I C A L P R E P A R E D N E S S

Preparing for High AchievementWorking at the Edge of Competence

BY MAUREEN NEIHART

We learn to view our mistakes with affection when we participate in a culture where worthy mistakes are celebrated as acts of courage and mistakes made at the edge of competence are valued for their learning potential.



outcome is uncertain or where there’s a possibility of failure.Others will say it means to do something that takes them outof their comfort zone. A few may say it means to do some-thing dangerous.

Realistic Risk taking is described by three characteristics:

• It is purposeful because its aim is to develop courage and persistence.

• It is sound because it is grounded in the needs, interests, and abilities of the individual.

• It is authentic because it is personally relevant and meaningful.

With our students, we can explore the ways in which realisticrisk taking relates to healthy personality, achievement, and satis-fying relationships. We can discuss the lives of people they admireor emulate. What kinds of risks do they see these people taking?Do they think there is a relationship between risk taking andleadership? Can they illustrate their points with examples? We canuse the activity below with both elementary and secondary stu-dents to expand their understanding of the concept of risk and itsrelationship to achievement. It can be done as a writing assign-ment, a discussion prompt, or as an art or multimedia project.

Risk Taking and Achievement• Think of someone whose accomplishments you admire orrespect. It can be anyone, past or present. It can be someoneyou know personally or someone who is famous. In one or twosentences describe what this person has achieved that youadmire. • Consider what this person has risked in order to realize hisor her achievement. Consider the chances he or she tooksocially, emotionally, physically, or intellectually, and list asmany of then as you can. If the person is someone you knowwell, ask them to share one or two risks they took when they

were your age that helped them reach their goals. • Do you think this person could have accomplished what heor she did without taking some of these risks? Explain youranswer.

Some Strategies to TryWorking at the edge of competence can unnerve us if we aren’t

prepared. It helps to have a plan. Invite students to consider whatmight make it easier for them to take realistic risks. Would it helpto have a model or to see someone else do it first? Would it be eas-ier if they took the risk with a friend or with a group? Perhapsthey need to start small and work up to larger risks, or, maybethey need to limit the time they spend on the risk initially andincrease their time gradually. Perhaps they would feel less pres-sured if they gave themselves permission to not be perfect, or tobe embarrassed, or even to fail.

Gender differences in risk taking exist. Research on patterns ofachievement among talented women suggest that bright womenfail to realize their aspirations as often as men do. They are lesswilling or able to take realistic risks at critical juncture points intheir lives. Although school age girls are as willing to take risks asboys, studies indicate that by late adolescence and early adult-hood, women’s aspirations decline, and they become more riskavoidant. This difference contributes in part to the persistentachievement gap between men and women. Fear of taking risks isan emotional component that slows many women’s achievementand ambition. The literature suggests several things we can do tohelp gifted girls take realistic risks. We can encourage them to:

• participate in sports• postpone dating and romantic involvement until their

education is complete• practice independence • participate in single gender activities and classes

Taking realistic risks and working at our edge of competenceis about recognizing things that make us a bit nervous and agree-ing to walk through them because doing so will equip us to dogreater things. We must encourage talented young people toexperiment, to explore, and to consider possibilities, especially ifthese seem out of reach. We must help our students see dissatis-fying performances and disappointing outcomes as platformsfrom which to launch the next big effort. They need to imaginethemselves doing those things of which they dream. n

Resources: Gelb, M.J. (2003). More balls than hands: Juggling your way to suc-

cess by learning to love your mistakes. New York: PenguinGroup.

Ilardo, J. (1992). Risk taking for personal growth. Oakland, CA:Harbinger Publications.

Neihart, M. (1998). Systematic risk taking. Roeper Review, 21,289-292.

MAUREEN NEIHART, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical child psy-chologist in Laurel, Montana. She has worked as a secondaryteacher, a school counselor, and a coordinator of gifted pro-grams. Her special interests include children at risk and vio-lent youth.



When it comes to career counseling, not just anyschool guidance counselor will do for gifted stu-dents. In fact, it is a good bet that your well-mean-ing but overburdened school counselor will not

have a clue about tailoring options for your gifted child—whichmeans that you may have to take matters into your own hands.Fortunately, help is available.

To present as many options as possible, the term “career” isused rather loosely here. It doesn’t necessarily refer to convention-al occupations, though the resources included do offer assistancein tackling traditional professions. Just to mix it up a bit, forexample, you will also find a listing for an unusual program thatprovides a year-long internship program between high school andcollege. We have also included information-packed websites thatoffer career counseling as well as a number of other services.These are definitely worth browsing; you never know what mightbe helpful.

There are also resources for generalized counseling. Workingwith a professional who specializes in gifted children can providewonderful self-knowledge that can lead to unexpected and on-target choices for the future.

Remember, these kids are different. We do them a disservice ifwe don’t help them think outside of the box.

Books:Asher, Donald (2000) Cool Colleges: For the Hyper-Intelligent, Self-

Directed, Late Blooming, and Just Plain Different. Berkeley, CA:Ten Speed Press

Berger, S. (2006). College Planning for Gifted Students. Waco, TX:Prufrock Press.

Eikleberry, Carol. (2000) The Career Guide for Creative andUnconventional People. Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press. Also awebsite: http://www.creativecareers.com.

Paladino, John. (2004) Finding the College That’s Right for You!New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Rosen, Jamie. (2000) Nice Job! A Guide to Cool, Odd, Risky, andGruesome Ways to Make a Living. Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press.

University Talent Searches:Duke University: http://www.tip.duke.edu.Since 1980, the Duke Talent Identification Program (Duke

TIP) has been a world leader in identifying academically talentedstudents and providing innovative programs to support the devel-opment of their optimal potential.

Johns Hopkins University: http://www.cty.jhu.edu/The Diagnostic and Counseling Center provides individual-

ized assessments and consultations for students in pre-kinder-garten through college. The goal is to help families and educatorsdevelop education plans for students on the basis of their demon-strated abilities, knowledge, and interests.

Northwestern University:http://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/index.htmlThough oriented toward those who live in the Midwest, the

Center for Talent Development at Northwestern University has avariety of resources for those from all over. Check out the resourcesection which includes study abroad programs from high schoolstudents.

Private Consultants:Andrew S. Mahoney, M.S., L.P.C., L.M.F.T.:http://www.counselingthegifted.com/.Experienced, informative counselor specializing in counseling

the gifted. Great website.Vicki S. Kleinman,:www.collegeplanningservice.com.Offers wide range of services that helps parents and students

plan for college while maximizing options and minimizing anxiety.

Internship/Gap Year:Dynamy: http://www.dynamy.org.Dynamy is the only experiential education program in

America designed to offer young people, aged 17-22, the oppor-tunity to explore their developing interests and strengths outsidethe classroom before facing the high-stakes, hyper-competitive,and economically decisive commitment to an academic institu-tion or professional apprenticeship.

Alternative High School/Guidance:Beach High School:http://members.cruzio.com/~beachhi/home.html.Wes Beach runs a successful alternative high school and offers

counseling for self-directed learners. He has helped students findtheir own paths which may or may not include entrance into top-name colleges. n

Prepared by Jennifer Beaver, Associate Editor for Parent Topics.Recommendations are those of the author and do not represent offi-cial CAG positions.

P A R E N T T O P A R E N T

College, Career, and Future PlanningResource List

BY JENNIFER BEAVER



Ma n yg i f t e dand tal-e n t e d

children and youthspend the majority oftheir time in mixed-ability classroomswith teachers who

have no specific training in gifted educa-tion. Other gifted students are in classesdesigned with their unique academic andintellectual needs in mind, taught by edu-cators with gifted education training andcertification. In both of these scenarios, itis unlikely that these classroom teachershave had any comprehensive training insocial and emotional development, com-munication, or counseling theory andpractice. Yet, teachers spend a good por-tion of their time and energy each dayhelping students with concerns that arenot academic in nature and for whichthey have not been prepared in pre-serv-ice or in-service training in curriculumand instruction.

Unanswered QuestionsAfter more than ten years as a class-

room teacher, I began my graduate stud-ies in counseling. I realized almost imme-diately that I, and even more importantlymy students, could have benefited fromeverything I was now learning. I was dis-tressed to think that I had not known anyof this before I started teaching. Werecounseling skills supposed to be kept sep-arate from teaching skills? Did counselingonly mean psychotherapy and psycholog-ical testing? I looked up the definition ofthe verb “to counsel”: to advise, to recom-mend, to provide guidance, to give sug-

gestions, to provide direction. I searchedfor the meaning of the verb “to teach”: toinstruct, to train, to develop, to enlighten,to prepare, to nurture, to guide.Counseling and teaching did indeed over-lap, at least in the dictionary.

Teachers have a long tradition of help-ing students with personal issues, withstudents coming to them for advice, guid-ance, and support. Teaching is, after all, ahelping profession. We teach children,not content. Why then were there norequired courses in interpersonal interac-tion, human relations, counseling, orcommunications in my education degree?Why did no one teach me what to dowhen a student stood before me cryingabout a problem at home? Why did I notlearn how to speak to families in crisis?How was I to help students who came tome when I was afraid I would do some-thing wrong, make the situation worse, oroverstep my role?

Teachers with gifted education train-ing at least have knowledge of uniquedevelopmental challenges facing somegifted and talented students, includinginternal unevenness in development(asynchrony), advancement and maturitycompared with age peers, and the specialneeds of gifted students with simultane-ous membership in one or more othergroups (i.e., with learning disabilities, eth-nic minorities, females) (Robinson,2002). But do they know what to dowhen these challenges are manifested in aclassroom? All teachers have the opportu-nity to establish very close relationshipswith their students, an essential step inthe counseling or helping process.Educators do not have to become profes-sional counselors, but they can learn basic

counseling rules of thumb to guide theirclassroom practice.

Paradigm Shift: From Instructingto Helping Mode

Many of the same skills are essentialfor effective educators and counselors: theability to tune in to people, empathy,energy, learning through experience, andmaking on-the-spot decisions. However,teachers are conditioned to talk more, bedirective, multi-task, and correct or fixthings. Counselors, on the other hand, aretrained to do quite the opposite: to listenmore than they talk, never give advice, tofocus, to be receptive, and to allow“clients” to find their own solutions(Kottler & Kottler, 2000).

The first and most important changefor a teacher adopting a helping mode isto foster a mindset that requires a non-judgmental attitude and an understand-ing that the goal should be to empowerstudents and guide them through thedecision-making process, not to makedecisions for them.

Seven Rules of Counseling forClassroom Teachers

1. Listen. Listen more than you talk.Listen actively. To listen, one must firstattend. Attending is the act of giving aspeaker your total, complete, and undi-vided interest using your body, face, andeyes. It is important to take a deep breathor practice another effective technique toallow concentration and focus. You needto resist distractions, face the speakerfully, and maintain appropriate eye con-tact (there are cultural differences inamount and type of respectful eye con-tact). This is no easy task in a classroom

Reclaiming Teaching asa Helping Profession

Seven Rules of Counseling for Classroom TeachersBY MEREDITH GREENE

Educators do not have to become professional counselors, butthey can learn basic counseling rules of thumb to guide theirclassroom practice.



environment. One of the easiest ways toshow you are attending is to simply putdown your chalk or pen and look at thestudent who is talking to you. You wouldbe surprised at how seldom this is done. Itis rare and powerful to have someone’sundivided attention.

Active listening is an essential explo-ration skill that can be quite difficult forteachers because of time pressures andclassroom distractions. Active or deep lis-tening requires intense concentration sothat the helper can collect the informa-tion needed to interpret the situationbeing presented. This is done by refram-ing, rephrasing or paraphrasing, reflectingcontent and feelings, and summarizingwhat the student has said. The helper hasto concentrate on the words spoken, themessage, and the nonverbal and contextu-al cues that may contradict each other.Helpers don’t ask too many questions andkeep the ones they do ask as open-ended

as possible. For teachers of gifted stu-dents, this can be a challenge since theyare used to asking many questions andgetting quick responses. It is important toallow for silence so that students canthink and to let students determine thepace and direction of the conversation.Wait-time is even more important whenasking questions about feelings.

You are listening to find out what theconcern really is. Some students will beable to present their concerns in a directand articulate manner, but some will notknow what is at the bottom of their pre-senting symptoms. Many teachers don’thave to spend as much time as counselorsdo building positive, open, and respectfulrelationship with students before helpingthem since teachers have already estab-lished those relationships in and out ofthe classroom. Teachers do, however, haveto spend time exploring the issues, ratherthan jumping to a quick diagnosis and aneven quicker fix.

People who demonstrate good listen-ing behaviors are remembered and valued.We make particular mention when wemeet someone who is a “great listener.”People with good attending behaviors areoften described as nicer, more caring, andmore sensitive than distracted listeners.But being a truly good listener in a help-ing role entails more than just lookinginterested and letting the other persontalk. Stay as neutral and accepting as youcan. If the student senses criticism or dis-approval, you’ve lost him or her.

2. Don’t give advice. Most adoles-cents don’t listen to advice anyway andthe last thing a helping teacher shouldwant to do is to make the student morehelpless! Besides, most students who askfor your advice will ignore it, especially ifit is not what they wanted to hear. Ifthings go well, you will only reinforcetheir indecision or helplessness or imposeyour own value system. They will do what

you tell them to do, to please you orbecause it is easier than figuring out whatto do for themselves. If things don’t gowell, they may not only blame you for thebad advice, but your efficacy as a helpermay be called into question. They maynot come to you again for help, nor willtheir friends.

3. Slow down. Practice counselingskills. Completing the stages of the coun-seling process can take years or hours, butclassroom teachers often only have min-utes. Counseling or helping students isnot easily scheduled according to schoolor teacher schedules. It takes time for stu-dents to unburden themselves to you, andrushing the process is not helpful.

Ask yourself questions as you listen.• Listen carefully. Do you hear what

the person is saying or are you makingyour own interpretation?

• Assess systematically. Organizing theinformation you are hearing is like con-ducting an Internet search. Do you know

the context? How do you know what isimportant? How do you find meaning?How do you wade your way througheverything a student tells you to find thereal concern?

• Analyze logically. Are you jumping toconclusions? Are you making too much ofan innocent comment? Do you hear thereal message? Listen to students’ explana-tions for their problems; watch for dis-crepancies in their behavior.

• Respond empathically and avoid self-disclosure. You must be sincere in yourresponses and genuine in your care andrespect for the students you are helping.You are not helping them by expressingsympathy or pity. Self-disclosure is alsonot very helpful, unless in quite generalterms. (For instance, “I used to get frus-trated when I made mistakes too,” or “Iremember being very sad once when Iwasn’t invited to a party.”) Some well-intentioned adults believe they are help-

ing by sharing personal anecdotes, butwhen they talk too much about them-selves, they are ignoring the student’s needto be heard.

• Problem solve creatively. Once youhave critically processed the information,what type of approach or solution wouldwork best? Should you even be interven-ing, and when, for how long, and whichissue do you tackle first? You’ll have tohelp students learn that making personallife changes is not as easy as memorizingvocabulary or solving equations.

4. Focus on the present and thefuture. Work on actions, goals, conse-quences. There is no point in dwelling onthe “couldas, wouldas, and shouldas” oflife. The basic principles of brief counsel-ing interventions can be applied in class-room situations. Emphasis on the present,action orientation, specific objective forsmall incremental changes, focus onstrengths, finding exceptions—this is thelanguage of teachers. This action phase of

The goal should be to empower students and guide them through the decision-making process, not to makedecisions for them.



the helping process is similar to lessonplanning, in that specific, attainable andreasonable goals must be established, butin the counseling process, goal-setting hasto be student-driven.

It is not necessary to probe deeply intoa student’s past history to help him or hermove forward. We can ask simple ques-tions such as: What is not working foryou now? What do you want the situationto look like? When has this not been aproblem? What were you doing different-ly? How will you change your situation?How will you know when the “problem”is gone? We need to help students under-stand that they are choosing their behav-iors and therefore, have control overchanging those behaviors.

Students have to expect setbacks, andfor academically gifted students, this canbe a big risk since they often expectinstant success. You should not force orexpect action. You can encourage, sup-port, and reassure, but ultimately you

have to accept that some students, for ahost of reasons, would prefer to remainmired for the moment.

Probably the biggest underlying con-cept for this kind of helping is the conver-sational shift that is necessary.Conversation is not problem-dominatedbut solution-oriented and for good rea-son. The word “problem” is the problem;it implies that something can be fixed.The “problem” may have taken years todevelop and therefore, is likely complexand even unsolvable. You may not be ableto change the student’s home life, socio-economic situation, or previous experi-ences. In fact, many of their troublingpersonal challenges or issues may contin-ue, but educators can help students learnto adapt to, cope with, ignore, or over-come them. The focus, then, is on theconstruction of a solution, not the decon-struction of the problem. This is goodnews for teachers who fear bringing updisturbing events from students’ pasts.

Most students come to teachers for helpwith temporary and even predictableissues, not deep psychological problems.You can help students keep things in per-spective and encourage them to talk toyou about neutral or happy times, not justdifficult ones. You can help them figurethings out for themselves.

5. Know yourself. Critically examineyour helping behaviors, overuse of inter-rogatory questions, and need to fillsilences. Know your own unresolved ortouchy issues. It can be very difficult toput aside your own tendencies towardbeing judgmental or critical of others, butif you cannot do this, you cannot be atrue helper. You have to consider yourown strengths and personality type.

It is important to pay attention to theinfluence of our Western value system onwhat goes on in schools. Helpers, be theyteachers, social workers, or others in help-ing professions, are almost always middleclass. The Western, white, educated, mid-

dle-class perspective is still dominatingschool and counseling domains, eventhough the student population is chang-ing dramatically.

In heart-to-hearts with students, youmight be told things you wish you hadnever heard, and you might have strongpersonal reactions that will influence thequestions you ask, the action you take, orthe goals you wish they would set.Knowing yourself well is one of the firststeps to being able to help students.

6. Respect your own and your stu-dents’ boundaries. As mentioned previ-ously, it is difficult to predetermine timelimits for a helping conversation. Equallydifficult is that students may not wantyour help, even if they came to you in thefirst place. Being heard might have beentheir only intention. You have to post-pone your own agenda. For instance, yourstudent with great potential who is under-achieving may not want your help, nomatter how frustrating the situation is to

you and to his or her parents. You mightwant to help but meet resistance on everyturn. You must respect the students’ desireto disclose and back off when it is neces-sary and/or appropriate. Your need toknow or help is not the deciding factorand you should not take it personallywhen students are recalcitrant, defiant, orunresponsive.

Teachers have too much else on theirplates to take on major counselingresponsibilities. You have to preserve yourenergy, your spirit, your time. You alreadyhave multiple roles, and you need to setyour own boundaries, not to mentioncomplying with the internal school poli-tics of who does what for whom. Teachersof gifted students can be like mother bearswith their students, assuming that theyare the only adults who know enough orcare enough to deal with “their kids.” Thisattitude can be divisive for a staff in a het-erogeneous school (i.e., contains regularand gifted education programs) with

unnecessary and detrimental bad feelingsbetween Gifted and Talented programteachers and regular classroom teachers orbetween teachers and counselors.

7. Refer easily and often, and respectthe need for closure. Know the resourcesavailable in your area. A caring adult wholistens and guides is a wonderful asset to agifted and talented student who is lookingfor direction or help with the typicalproblems of growing up and/or beinggifted, but teachers are not equipped totake on serious student problems. It isimportant to learn when and to whom torefer. Being ready with that informationand offering to be the liaison or to accom-pany the student to the other professionalwill make you a more effective and effi-cient helper.

Know your limitations. Students cometo teachers whom they trust. They mayask for the conversation to be kept confi-dential, or you may assure them that theycan trust you to keep things to yourself.

We need to help students understand that they are choosingtheir behaviors and therefore, have control over changing those behaviors.



This is absolutely not a guarantee that youcan give them. Confidentiality may haveto be breached for reasons of safety, legal-ity, competence, and more. Students haveto know you are an ally and advocate, butthat you cannot shoulder all the responsi-bility in certain situations. You have to letstudents make their own choices once youhelp them sort through their options.They can choose to do nothing.

Closure issues can arise at the end of asimple conversation or at the end of aterm. Take some time with students withwhom you are close. You are their confi-dant and at the end of the school year,summer may seem interminably long forstudents who have relied on you for emo-tional support. Closure is even moreimportant if your students are leavingyour school. They might not seek youout, but you should find them to saygoodbye and help them make plans forsupport systems in their new settings.

ConclusionUntil enough trained professionals are

available in schools, the brunt of theresponsibility for meeting students’ emo-tional needs will rest on classroom teach-ers. Whether we like it or not, teachers fill

some of the void for gifted children andadolescents who need help with personaland developmental issues. For dedicated,caring educators, teaching is not a job buta lifestyle. Increasing your role as a helpercarries additional hazards. You may learnmore about our students’ lives than youcare to know. Your own feelings of help-lessness can increase when you learn ofsome of the incredible personal challengesyour students face. You see people at theirworst yet you are expected to always be atyour best. It can seem daunting, but thereis much hope. Gifted educators do nothave to become counselors, but they cando “counseling” activities in their class-rooms: class meetings, group discussion,brown bag lunches, guided viewing ofselected film or television clips, stressreduction exercises, curriculum modification.

The single most important counselingskill to practice is to listen genuinely,without judgment, with full attention.Gifted students come to you to be heardand to have their experiences normalizedinstead of pathologized. Teachers mustrecognize their counseling boundaries butat the same time, they can practice goodcounseling habits in classroom situations.These practices will help gifted and tal-

ented students learn the skills necessary tomanage and maintain their own positivesocial and emotional development. n

Suggested Reading:Greene, M. J. (2004). Teacher as coun-

selor: Enhancing the social, emotional,and career development of gifted andtalented students in the classroom.Gifted Education International 19,213-235.

Kottler, J. A., & Kottler, E. (2000).Counseling skills for teachers. ThousandOaks, CA: Corwin Press.

Peterson, J. S. (2003). An argument forproactive attention to affective con-cerns of gifted adolescents. TheJournal of Secondary Gifted Education,14, 62-70.

MEREDITH GREENE, Ph.D., lives inNova Scotia, Canada, where she is cur-rently an educational consultant for aschool district. She is also adjunct fac-ulty at the University of Connecticut andBowling Green State University, teach-ing Master’s courses in GiftedEducation and is an instructor atConfratute. Her research areas includethe social, emotional, and career devel-opment of gifted students and counsel-ing training for teachers.



BY ELIZABETH MECKSTROTH

Carrie: “What do you look for every dayand sometimes you think you found it, butthen the next day you have to start lookingagain? I’ll give you a hint. It’s about school.”

She has been telling me she doesn’t likethird grade. “Let’s see. Is it when you answera math problem and then the next day youhave to do it again?”

Carrie: “I’ll tell you the riddle. Every dayyou look for someone who likes you andsometimes you think you found a friend, butthe next day you have to start again.”

—Vivian Paley, The Kindness of Children

In nurturing ourchildren, weparents andeducators can-

not apply a simple,linear cause andeffect interpretationabout who they areand what they need.

We must consider an intricate interweav-ing of ideas, feelings, and situations thatcreate their complex social, intellectual,physical, and emotional lives. Being gifted

usually amplifies these aspects of theirlives. It is the depth and intensity withwhich children respond to a thought orsituation that distinguishes their realitiesand experiences.

There are positive and negative aspectsof high intelligence. Often it is the extentof differences from the norm that createsvulnerability to potential problems. Asintelligence increases, so does the prospectfor misunderstanding. Experiencing grat-ifying social relationships can be an enor-mous task.

No one really knows what is actually“best” for our exceptional youngsters. Weneed to recognize how distinctive eachone is. There is huge diversity in the gift-ed range—including about a 100-IQ-point difference! Although anything youcan say to describe one gifted child maybe the opposite for another, there aresome characteristic qualities that are com-mon among our especially adept students.Thus, when we’re trying to determine thebest options for them, usually no one real-ly knows what to do. We can only tryoptions. My comments may not applyspecifically to your child. These ideas arepresented as optional considerations and possibilities.

Our children’s relationships permeatehow they perceive themselves. Gratifyingsocial contacts are crucial for a satisfyinglife. In Emotional Intelligence, Goleman(1995) suggests that IQ contributes about20% toward living the life we want tolive, whereas we are hugely driven by oursocial and emotional experiences. We’llexplore some social stressors that impactour children and discuss ways to facilitatetheir mutually satisfying social connec-tions.

Feeling EstrangedFeeling estranged stresses our children.

At an early age, they are quite aware thatthey are different from their age mates: “Iworry about stuff that those guys don’teven know about…like global warmingand all those plastic bottles they just tossout, and pesticides in our vegetables,and…. They don’t even want to do any-thing about the homeless people intown!” Our children may make up gameswith complicated codes and rules and loseplayers before they start.

Many factors affect their social interac-tions and contribute to their difficulty infitting into a “normal” classroom andsocial situation. Decades of literature and

Nurturing Social Relationships



experiences confirm that the more a per-son’s intelligence exceeds the norm, theharder it becomes to find compatiblecompanions.

Qualities That ComplicateOur children’s core characteristics

amplify their life experiences. The extentto which they are increasingly differentfrom the norm exacerbates their sense ofdissonance with others. Let’s look at whata composite gifted child might bring tosocial relationships. Please note that thesefeatures are not presented as pathology,but rather as dimensions of the attributesthat may exist to a lesser degree and extentin many of their age peers.

Capacity of ConsciousnessThe brain that drives our adept learn-

ers infuses everything they are and do.Just as a 7-year-old with a 70 IQ is notlike most other 7-year-olds, our astutekids’ social relationships are complicatedby their enormous capacity of conscious-

ness. The depth and breadth to which ourchildren deal with information and expe-riences are vast. Some have minds like asatellite dish; they pick up signals andmake connections that other people can-not even imagine exist.

Being extremely perceptive, they maybe aware of what others cannot evenimagine. “I don’t know if I should talkabout what Karlie is telling me, or aboutwhat I know she is thinking and feeling.”Realizing that they see, feel, do, and knowthings that others do not, creates tensionsand may be frightening and alienating.They are coping with more possibilitiesand other meanings. Being aware of extraalternatives, our children may fear thatthey potentially might make moremistakes.

As confirmed by results of the Myers-Briggs and Murphy-Meisgeier PersonalityIndicators, as intelligence increases, sodoes the tendency for intuitive awareness

(Myers, 1998, p. 269). Intuition isexpanded connectedness and conscious-ness—knowing that keeps going. Thisaspect of gifted people can estrange themfrom the majority who may have difficul-ty entering their world. This realm of con-sciousness is beyond what is perceivedthrough our senses. In the United States,intuitive people are a minority of approx-imately 26% in a society whereas mostpeople generally ascribe their reality interms of what is concrete (p.157-8).Intuitive individuals are comfortable per-ceiving ideas and events using insight;they are comfortable with a global con-sciousness and focus on possibilities,meanings, and relationships.

Intensity, idealism, perfectionism.Intensity may be gifted children’s mostdistinguishing characteristic; it heightenstheir personality qualities. Our capablekids tend to impose heavier burdens onthemselves. They imagine more complexprojects and have loftier goals; they areoften aggravated by their internal perfec-

tionistic critic. Their vast imagination,exceptional knowledge, and infinite con-sciousness contribute to their innocentidealism. They know how the world andits people should be.

Sensitivity. Brandon barges in fromsecond grade, slams the door and declares,“I hate math!” Mom wonders, “Buthoney, you’re doing great in math.”Brandon explains, “But some of the otherkids are having lots of trouble.” In anoth-er scenario, Mom reports, “We can’t havethe TV news on around Casey or she staysawake thinking about how unfairpeople are.”

How many ways have you encoun-tered our children’s acute sensitivity?Gifted people are more receptive andresponsive to what they experience thanmost. We encounter their emotional sen-sitivity extending to empathy for otherpeople’s emotional reactions. Their com-passion magnifies the angst some of our

children experience in their interpersonalrelationships. They may feel vulnerable tocriticism and rejection and are likely con-scious of how they might embarrass them-selves or offend potential playmates.

Control. Our smart students are oftendriven by a strong internal locus of con-trol. It is not that they necessarily want torule other people; however they intend tofollow their own agendas. Their urge forself-control can aggravate glitches indeveloping friendships. As compassionateparents and educators, we can appeal toour adept youngsters’ yearn for control ifwe present social skill techniques as toolsthat can enable them to engage in sup-porting, cooperative company.

Androgyny. Androgyny permeatesour children’s social relationships.Leaders in our field of gifted educationacknowledge that gifted boys and girlsare more psychologically and sociallyandrogynous than most other children(Hébert, 2002).

In their interests and activities, gifted

girls are more like gifted boys than theyare like average girls. Understandably, ourable girls generally prefer to play with gift-ed boys than with average girls. By adoles-cence, our adolescent girls usually seeknovel experiences, avoid routine, andenjoy challenging experiences, even morethan boys. Introverted gifted boys mayhave an added struggle accommodatingsome societal expectations. Their morepassive, demure manner can sometimescreate awkward circumstances for them.

Introversion. As intelligence increases,so does the probability of being introvert-ed. Most gifted people are essentiallyintroverts. Introverted personality prefer-ence is another way in which gifted chil-dren are intrinsically different from themajority of their age mates and the peoplewho teach them. Compared with moreoutgoing, self-expressive, socially engag-ing extroverts, introverted traits subduefriend-making overtures. Although there

Decades of literature and experiences confirm that the more a person’s intelligence exceeds the norm, the harder itbecomes to find compatible companions.



are extremely intelligent people who areblazing extroverts, most of us are raisingyoungsters who can be a challenge to dis-cern and understand because of theirintroversion.

There are many qualities that essential-ly define the introverts’ inherent core per-sonality traits. In general, introverts may:

• not want to tell ideas• have intense needs for privacy• stay with one project for a long time• require time alone to regain their

energy• pause and reflect before responding• feel invaded by and resent

interruptions• camouflage feelings and conceal

what is important• convey contemplative detachment• seek one or few close friends• feel lonely in a group• want to understand situations before

experiencing them

• experience aspects of their lives vividly through thoughts

We need to remember that introvertsare not aberrations of extroverts!

Complexity. The sum of these charac-teristics is emotional and intellectualcomplexity. In their play with other chil-dren, our kids may make up games withcomplex rules or try to lead a playmateinto an incredibly complicated scenario.“Let’s be whales and talk with each otherin code!” “Three high bleeps mean ‘dan-ger approaching’; one short and two longhums mean, ‘I found food!’” and moreand more codes. They convey countlesspossibilities and usually leave their bewil-dered playmates wanting to escape thisconfusion.

Six-year-old Sammy explained, “Yousee, other kids have only one feeling. Ihave a zillion feelings, and I have them allat once.” Profoundly sensitive, acutelyconscious kids—as well as being delight-

ful and enlivening company—can just betoo much for some of the other kids theyface in the neighborhood or classroom.

Summary. These reasons help usunderstand why our gifted children maynot experience significant rewards in theircontacts. By understanding possibleobstacles to interaction, we can carefullyfacilitate our kids to cooperate in mutual-ly enjoyable and gratifying relationships.

Creating Courage to InviteFriendships

Match. A major reason why our giftedchildren feel as though they are on theoutside looking in at their age mates’ funand frolic is that they are not groupedwith appropriate intellectual or talentpeers. Without resonance with compara-ble intellectual and talent peers, our mis-placed students have fewer opportunitiesto experience understanding and empa-thy. Our kids can conclude that there is

“something wrong” with them.Findings in the acclaimed, definitive

publications, The Social and EmotionalDevelopment of Gifted Children: What DoWe Know? (Neihart, et al, 2002) and ANation Deceived (Colangelo, et al, 2004)confirm that it is how we match ourbrightest students’ educational situationswith their intellectual, social, and emo-tional peers that either nourishes or dam-ages their development. Our most ablestudents may develop social and psycho-logical problems from their scarcity ofcompatible friends; they may feel com-pelled to be like their classmates. Socialdissonance can be alleviated with carefulacceleration so that our precious childrenwho march to a different drummer canthrive among their developmentalage peers.

It takes courageous advocacy to pro-pose an academic program for a child thatincludes opportunities to associate withintellectual peers. You may wish to con-

tact associations and seek guidance on theInternet or in gifted literature to guideyou in seeking appropriate educationalcompanions for your exceptionalchildren.

I help facilitate Yunasa camp for high-ly gifted adolescents. These youngsterslive, play, and discover their selves in res-onance with their developmental peers. Ifthey can return the next year, theydo…because they are safe at any speedhere. They can be their selves. “Before Icame to Yunasa I didn’t have any friends;now I have 32!”

You can open peer possibilities bylocating lessons or interest groups wherethere are no age or grade limitations.Hone in on your child’s passion and per-haps participate in ceramic classes or tripssponsored by a science museum.Exceptional children can find compatibleinterest peers with mentors or tutors. Calla high school, and ask if there is a student

who shares your child’s current interest:chess, the Civil War, rock and roll or…. Agood match may allow your child to expe-rience a cooperative relationship and pro-vide practice and confidence to ventureinto more age-related connections.

Reduce competition. Most giftedchildren want desperately to fit in. Insteadof arranging competitive activities,encourage cooperative groups to createprojects. Classifying Ethan as “the best”isolates him from his potential playmatesand places too great a burden on him tolive up to.

Observe. Especially for introverts,allow children to monitor and scrutinizea situation or activity for a while beforebeing committed to participate. Ourchildren need to understand what isexpected of them. They may want todevelop a strategy to participate. As a car-ing adult, you might stay nearby andoffer some of your insights as to what isgoing on.

Although criticizing and blaming might inflate our ego, if we recognize kindness, we get kindness.


Create components of an ideal rela-tionship. It is extra difficult for giftedchildren to develop one best friend.Instead, you can encourage your youngbuddy to enjoy a composite of bestfriends. Andrew can be Justin’s best friendon the computer. Ryan is great for sleep-overs; he fits in well with the family.Rachel is safe to tell his worries to; sheunderstands and makes him feel better.Jennifer is his best partner for bike ridingin the neighborhood, and he only playschess with Tyler. As a trusted adult,reflecting out loud how you share “bestfriend” components among a few favoritefriends, demonstrates this reality.

Facilitate introverts. Computers, cellphones, and structure can ease our intro-verts into interaction. With instant mes-saging, Alexis contacted several school-mates to ask if they would like to be in abook club. Six boys and girls were inter-ested and proposed titles they would like

to discuss; they checked the public libraryto find which books had six copies avail-able for loan. They meet in a library meet-ing room to enjoy their discussion andeach other.

Find role models. Read, tell, act outwonderfully rich stories to let children tryout different roles and experiences. Inviteyour children to change the story so theycan vicariously transform a potentialexperience in their own life. “If Carmenhad asked Jose what he was sad about—orinvited him to play—instead of ignoringhim, how would the story be different?”

Remember that isolation is the refugeof genius, not its goal.

Develop Social IntelligenceRole play. Because most intelligent

kids can conceptualize and vividly imag-ine anticipated situations, it can be reas-suring to try out and practice someencounters and activities they might face.You can use hand puppets or stuffed ani-

mals to play anticipated awkward roles.These characters take kids one step awayfrom having to own their inept attemptsat navigating new circumstances. SupposeElizabeth is going to stay overnight at afriend’s house. What can she say when shearrives at their door? She is worried abouthaving something for dinner that shedoesn’t like. Let her try out differentresponses. Then imagine another poten-tially embarrassing situation such aswatching a scary movie and role play dif-ferent ways to respond to the situation.You might also encourage participation indrama classes or amateur play produc-tions to try out different roles. If our chil-dren have a chance to practice newencounters, they have more sense of con-trol and confidence.

Reverse role communication skills.Arrange for children to experience theimpact of their own behaviors. Kids canlearn to have gratifying friendships

through acting out actions and messagesthat evoke positive, cooperative responsesas well as negative, rejecting reactionsfrom others. In a guaranteed safe situationwhere the intention is to gently createself-awareness, a family or group of stu-dents can perform self-defeating interac-tions and behaviors. When we have theopportunity to see ourselves as others seeand experience us, we can understandhow our behaviors affect others.

Define friend-making qualities.Brainstorm the following questions:

• What do you look for in a friend? • In what ways do you have these

qualities? • What might you try to become a

friend to someone else?• What else might you try?• What does Madison do when you areglad that you are with her?• How would you have more fun andpossibilities in exploring with a friend?Bullies. Being bullied is devastating.

Children need an arsenal of responses tocope with aggressive bullies. Dominatingcircumstances are too tense to react to inan unprepared manner, so ask children topractice some responses through role play.Some possibilities include:

• Find support in other kids. Revive orcreate a connection with someone whocan accompany you along the waywhere you might encounter bullying.• Use humor to diffuse a tense situation.• Don’t give into what the offenderwants.• Ignore the bully or say “No” in a firmtone; walk away to a safe place.• Ridicule the bully: “That wouldn’t makeany sense! Why would you do that?”• Defend yourself with body language.Stand straight with shoulders back,eyes riveted into the offenders anddeclare in a strong, confident voice,“Leave me alone!” or “Stop it!” Then

walk toward other people.• Don’t try to get even and let a tor-mentor determine how you will act.Clarify what the bully is doing. “Youwant me to give you my place in lineor you’ll trash my lunch? You must behaving a rotten day to act this way!”• Ask a teacher or friend for help andideas to manage an impasse.• Call out loudly to someone in thedistance; engage them and ignore the bully.Resolve social discords. It is not nec-

essarily what happens between people thatcreates ill feelings; it is how they workthrough and resolve conflicts, misunder-standings, and difficulties that endure. Innavigating an interpersonal controversy, agood place to start is to ask, “How are wegoing to work this out?” This invitation toreduce tensions can be a balm on angryand hurt feelings. It engenders solace andconfidence that the relationship is moreimportant than the current abrasive situa-


Intuition is expanded connectedness and consciousness—knowingthat keeps going. This aspect of gifted people can estrange themfrom the majority who may have difficulty entering their world.



tion. Our fresh world citizens need topractice problem solving without blame.The person who blames isn’t solving aproblem and looks whiny—helpless.

Helpful guides to practice conflict res-olution are available. These delicate stepstoward mending hurt feelings need to bepracticed in congenial role plays so thatthe crucial negotiations are in a morefamiliar comfort zone.

Encourage children to use disappoint-ing social experiences to build a repertoireof what they might try next time.Brainstorm options. Creative brainstorm-ing is more effective when children have ahuge sheet of paper and write down theirideas. Keep adding possibilities until theyreach the ridiculous range and you are all

laughing silly!Here is a conflict-resolution guideline

for your children to imaginatively modify:• Encourage each person to explain hisor her side of the story without blam-ing the other, but expressing how eachfeels.• Allow “cooling off ” and processingtime.• Use creative problem solving to cre-ate win–win solutions.• Be willing to compromise.• Apologize if you feel responsible forthe conflict.• Use humor, if appropriate.• Ask for help to resolve the conflict ifit seems irresolvable.• Know when to walk away

and refresh.Prufrock Press at: www.prufrock.com,

supplies excellent guides on creative prob-lem solving.

Become aware of body signals.About 90% of what we communicate isconveyed by our voice pace, inflections,and body positioning. If our kids areoblivious to what they are communicat-ing nonverbally, they have little controlover how they affect others. Unless theyare aware of the meaning of other peoples’tone and body signals, they will have noidea why people treat them the way theydo. Because intelligence has little or nocorrelation with body language awareness(Goleman, 1995), youngsters need to betaught how to read body language and

If our kids are oblivious to what they are communicating nonverbally, they have little control over how they affect others.



how their stance, tones, and grimacesimpact others’ reactions to them.

To teach body language interpretation,try some of the following:

• Play situational charades such aswanting to talk with someone who isdetermined to read a book. Make upyour own situational charades.• Act out how someone would respondif you invited them over to see yournew computer when they really didn’twant to bother and resented the factthat you got the new computer.• Create a “tone code” contest. A smallgroup of kids can have fun conveyingfeeling such as friendliness, anger,loneliness, and impatience by makingsounds and tones, but not words!Using only gibberish and intonation,children will experience the fact thathow they say something can conveymore than the words they use! • Show a portion of a video dramascene with the sound off. Let the kidsguess what is happening in the scene.How do people feel? How can you tellwhen they are happy, angry, scared?Gender roles. When especially astute

children “click” in a relationship, theyusually are so engrossed in their delight insharing ideas and interests that theyignore traditional male–female expecta-tions. As caretakers, we need to let go ofsome of our customary, more exclusivegender roles and allow our children toreap enjoyment from a whole range ofassociations and activities.

Manners. Academic achievement doesnot correlate with being socially astute.There may be no logic to proper manners!Perhaps our gifted youngsters with vora-cious minds can be convinced to applycourtesies if they understand how andwhy polite social modes help them. OnKara’s tenth birthday, her grandma asked,“What is the most important thing you’velearned in 10 years?” Expecting to hear“to read; do math; find my way home….”Kara blurted, “Manners.” Kara learnedthat manners are essential to facilitatewhat she wants.

Perhaps astute rational children wouldaccept the illogic of proper manners ascorrect grammar of social language. Get abook on manners for kids. (Free SpiritPublishing at: www.freespirit.com, hasgreat resources.) Practice table mannersand social skills as famous people or

superstars! Acting as a character is lesshumiliating than playing yourself. Invitekids to suggest the situations they want totry out. Assurance that they “know whatto do” gives them the confidence theyneed in social situations.

Nuts and bolts. Here are a few com-ponents that help create and hold nurtur-ing relationships together. You canremind children to

• Smile.• Use a person’s name in their conver-sation and greetings.• Approach others asking, “What areyou interested in these days?” “Whathave you been doing on weekends?” Atrite greeting such as, “How are you?”prompts a fall-flat “Fine.”• Compliment someone on an achieve-ment or quality you admire such as“You seem to really draw well.” “Iadmire how kind you were to Jameswhen he forgot his lunch.”• Recognize that sometimes other peo-ple do not want to be treated the wayyou want people to act toward you. Itis difficult to discern what others needand want if we prefer the opposite.Brandon wants music on; Taylor needsquiet. You want to share your pretzels;Lauren hates salty foods.• See kindness. Although criticizingand blaming might inflate our ego, ifwe recognize kindness, we get kind-ness. By teaching children to acknowl-edge kindness in themselves and oth-ers, we give them the lifelong gift ofmore congenial relationships. Critical component. The most critical

components of nurturing gratifying socialrelationships are you, the parents, teach-ers, and caregivers who are entrusted withnurturing our brightest children. Youteach what you are. Just as when you livein a home where English is spoken, youlearn English; how you respond to yourchildren in inviting, nurturing ways,imprints social style. A bit of PaulTorrance’s legacy is finding that having amentor is a greater predictor of successthan intelligence or creativity. Parents andteachers are intrinsic mentors.

You are your children’s heroes with amillion faces. It is essential that you investin yourself so that you maintain enoughenergy and enthusiasm to model that it isgood to grow up! Honor your own needs.Go play. Do something every day just for

yourself. This can take only a few min-utes: call a friend, explore writing a poem,jog a block, walk another, or do yoga. Setyour own goals. Take care of yourself asyou would your only precious child.

“Sometimes what you are speaks soloudly, your children can’t hear whatyou’re saying.” n

References:Colangelo, N., Assouline, S., & Gross, M.

(2004). A nation deceived: How schoolshold back America’s brightest students.The Templeton national report onacceleration. Iowa City, IA: ConnieBelin & Jacqueline N. BlankInternational Center for GiftedEducation and Talent Development.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelli-gence. New York: Bantam Books.

Hébert, T.P. (2002). Gifted Males. GiftedEducation Communicator, 32 (4), 16-18.

Kaufman, G., Raphael, L, Espeland, P.(1999). Stick up for yourself: Every kid’sguide to personal power and positive self-esteem. Minneapolis: Free SpiritPublishing.

Kerr, B.A. and Cohn, S.J. (2001). Smartboys: Talent, manhood, and the searchfor meaning. Scottsdale, AZ: GreatPotential Press,

Myers, I.B, et.al. (1998). MBTI manual:A guide to the development and use ofthe Myers-Briggs type indicator. PaloAlto, CA: Consulting PsychologistsPress.

Neihart, M., Reis, S., Robinson, N., &Moon, S. (2002). The social and emo-tional development of gifted children:What do we know? A service publica-tion of the National Association forGifted Children. Waco, TX: PrufrockPress.

ELIZABETH A. MECKSTROTH, M. Ed.,M.S.W., coordinated development ofSENG (Supporting Emotional Needs ofthe Gifted). She co-authored Guiding theGifted Child and Teaching Young GiftedChildren in the Regular Classroom andhas written numerous book chapters andarticles. Since 1980, she has focusedon assessment, counseling, and supportfor families. She currently concentrateson personality type, social, emotional,and soul issues, and works with healingmodes and energies. She is a SeniorFellow with the Institute for EducationalAdvancement, facilitating Yunasa campfor highly gifted adolescents.



Eddie was askateboard-ing enthu-siast and

daredevil whose in-terest in skateboard-ing encompassed hislife. Eddie was 14years old and lived

overseas in a small military community.He was often seen on his skateboard, scal-ing the side of the commissary building.He dressed in distinctive clothing, havingpurchased his wardrobe through skate-board catalogs. Eddie was bright, hand-some, personable, charismatic, and had astrong following of male friends and aconstant circle of admiring middle schoolfemales. In a middle school setting withrigid social status rankings, the youngwomen had determined that Eddie was“the awesomest.”

Eddie was enrolled in my class for gift-ed students. During his eighth-grade year,I had planned an important field trip toVienna, Austria and Budapest, Hungary.My eighth-graders, including Eddie, hadspent the year involved in many fund-raising activities to cover the expenses forthe trip. Two weeks before our departure,I started hearing grumblings among someof the students. I became aware that aproblem was emerging among the youngmen in the class. Several of the boys qui-etly explained that Eddie had determinedthe excursion to Austria and Hungary was“a dumb trip.” He had announced that hewas not participating, and as a result, theytoo had chosen not to participate. Theyclaimed they were not interested in visit-ing an Eastern Bloc country—that theywould simply be “looking at a bunch ofold buildings.”

I knew it was time for a man-to-mantalk with Eddie. In a private conversationwith him, I learned something about“Eddie the Awesomest” that no else inschool knew. Eddie suffered from severemotion sickness, and he simply could nottolerate the idea of a 16-hour long bus

ride from central West Germany toBudapest. The possibility of being physi-cally sick while in the company of hispeer group was unacceptable to this well-respected young man. Eddie explainedthat he just couldn’t “toss his cookies” infront of his friends. He realized his deci-sion to withdraw from the trip was influ-encing his friends, and he sympathizedwith me since he realized that I needed aquota of participants to make the tripfeasible. I tried to convince him that hisparents and I would work to find anappropriate medication to help him sur-vive the travel; however I was not success-ful. The skateboard king had an image toprotect, and he did not travel to Austriaand Hungary.

The Boy CodeWilliam Pollack, a clinical professor of

psychiatry at Harvard Medical School,has offered the “Boy Code” as an expla-nation for understanding Eddie’s difficultsituation. Pollack (1998) described thisphenomenon as outdated and containingconstricting assumptions and unwrittenrules that govern how boys are to behavein society. These unwritten rules com-prise a set of beliefs that defines whatAmerican society regards as masculine.These values are learned early in child-hood and are based on rigid gender rolestereotypes and beliefs.

One feature of the Boy Code is thebelief that vulnerability, weakness, andemotion in men are signs of femininity tobe avoided at all costs. For a young manlike Eddie who follows the Boy Code,being in control is often essential to prov-ing one’s masculinity. Adhering to theBoy Code may require decisions that aredetrimental to long term adjustment.

In my work with gifted young menlike Eddie and his friends, I gained anunderstanding of just how influential theBoy Code was in shaping the school expe-riences of my students. I saw that withinthe population of gifted males there was acorrelation between their intellectual gift-

edness and heightened sensitivity. Theinteraction of this sensitivity and therestrictive Boy Code which they felt com-pelled to follow, made for real challenges.Because of these challenges, I realized thatmany of the boys in my classroom neededhelp in dealing with their emotions andcommunicating their feelings. I learned tofind appropriate outlets for expressingtheir feelings. In working with Eddie andhis friends, I developed several practicalstrategies that enabled me to support thesocial and emotional development of thegifted males in my classroom.

“Temperature Taking”As a teacher of gifted students, I

attended a summer workshop on methodsto address the affective needs of high abil-ity teenagers. One of the strategies that Itransferred to my middle school class-room was “temperature taking.” This is anactivity in which the students ranked howthey were feeling that day on a scale of 1to 10 with 1 indicating their temperaturewas very low, and they were having a dif-ficult time; 10 representing a high tem-perature consistent with how “high” theywere feeling about life in general.

I began each class session with thisactivity and noted early on that the girlshad no difficulty taking their tempera-tures and describing in vivid detail whatkind of day they were having. With armsfolded, Eddie and the other boys in theclass consistently reported that their tem-peratures were “5,” and when I askedthem to elaborate, they remained silentand chose to “pass.”

After several days of beginning eachclass session with this activity, Eddieapproached me after school andannounced, “Mr. Hébert, if you won’tstop doing this touch-feely stuff every day,I’m going to get my schedule changed anddrop this class!”

I naturally responded with, “Eddie, Ithink what I hear you saying is you’refeeling frustrated with some of the activ-ities in this class?” He replied, “Yeah!

Counseling Gifted MalesLessons Learned from Eddie

BY THOMAS P. HÉBERT



When are we gonna do stuff?” As we dis-cussed his concerns, I realized thatEddie thought I had gone overboardwith the affective activities, and hewanted his hour in my seminar class toinvolve more intellectually rigorousactivities. I assured Eddie that we wouldsoon begin on a presidential mock elec-tion, and I would keep his feelings inmind as I planned the instruction.

Talking While DoingSeveral weeks later, Eddie was chosen

to be one of the presidential candidates. He had quickly organized his cam-

paign team, and he and the other boyswere painting campaign posters and ban-ners. I grabbed a paintbrush and joinedthem. As we painted, I learned a lot moreabout Eddie. I learned about his concernsregarding the unfair way in which hiswrestling coach was treating some of theathletes. Eddie shared his thoughts on thehigh expectations his military father heldfor him. He also shared the frustration hefelt about his older brother whom heviewed as “really brilliant but a slacker inschool.”

Within a short time, the other youngmen in the group also disclosed importantissues in their personal lives. This com-fortable conversation came from the samestudents who only weeks before hadrefused to open up in the temperaturetaking activity! This involvement in anenjoyable activity apparently enabledthem to feel more comfortable while talk-ing about serious issues. Without realizingit, Eddie’s campaign team was involved ina counseling session!

The importance of holding conversa-tions with boys while engaged in hands-on activities was an important lesson Ilearned from Eddie and his friends. Thislesson should help to enlighten othereducators, counselors, and parents ofgifted boys.

Bill Beausay (1998), author of TeenageBoys, agrees that to provoke meaningfulconversations with boys, adults need toget in the habit of conducting them whileengaged in something enjoyable together.Beausay described an afternoon at homewith his teenage son’s friends “hangingout,” basically being bored. He suggestedactivities that they arrogantly turneddown but when he went outside andstarted shooting baskets by himself, the

group joined him. Beausay was surprised as he described,

“What amazed me most was that as soonas they entered the court, they wouldn’tstop talking. They were so open duringthe game that they answered questionsabout their families, girl problems, andmoney woes. I actually thought for aminute that I’d invented a new kind oftherapy: basketball analysis!” (p. 74).What Beausay had actually done was dis-cover what I learned from Eddie and hisbuddies: adolescent males seldom discussthings. Talking is something they dowhile having fun.

These insights are helpful. If educa-tors, counselors, and parents want to helpgifted boys unload their worries or sharethe highlights of their daily school experi-ences, they will want to consider doingthings together with them. Teachers havedescribed wonderful examples of howthey have done this in their classrooms. Amathematics teacher shared with me howshe had rich conversations with giftedboys as they were engaged in origami. Asthey folded paper and created geodesicdomes, they shared their thinking on seri-ous existential issues. Other teachers havereported how boys will have meaningfulconversations with each other whileinvolved in a game of chess.

Steven Levy (2004), a national awardwinning “Teacher of the Year” reflectedon meaningful conversations he had withthe young men in his classroom during aninstructional unit on colonial America.He explained, “There was nothing thatchanged the culture of my classroommore than my students learning to knit.When they were knitting, they were talk-ing. I would learn so much about my stu-dents.” Some of my fondest memories ofmy work with Eddie and his friends wererich conversations we held while engagedin activities while on class field trips.

Movies as Discussion FacilitatorsIn working with my students, I discov-

ered another helpful strategy in address-ing affective issues in the lives of giftedboys. I used movies to facilitate discus-sions to understand the social and emo-tional issues in their lives and found thisapproach both helpful and effective. Thisstrategy has been defined as guided view-ing of film (Hébert & Sergent, 2005) andproposed as a method through which

teachers and counselors may help giftedstudents in developing insights to dealwith the problems they face. Parallelsdrawn from the theoretical literature onbibliotherapy provide support for thisstrategy (Halsted, 2002; Hébert & Kent,2000). Through guided viewing of film,educators and counselors work to produceaffective change and promote personalitygrowth and development. This develop-ment occurs when young people identifywith the film’s character, reflect on thatidentification, and undergo emotionalgrowth as a result of this experience.

Movies served as a therapeutic experi-ence for the young men in my classroom.They were able to examine their issuesthrough another perspective, allowingthem to appreciate humorous conditionswithin a situation and to see alternativesolutions for addressing their problems.Moreover, I discovered that a good filmhelped to create a supportive understand-ing among the boys in my classroom andwith me as we enjoyed the movie togeth-er. This strategy was appropriate in work-ing with these young men since moviesare such an integral part of the contempo-rary culture of bright adolescents. Youngpeople consider watching movies anenjoyable activity when carried out in arelaxed environment. As a result, I foundthat Eddie and his friends were receptiveto discussing issues in their lives throughthe safety of a good film.

In facilitating guided viewing les-sons, I realized that the discussion ofsensitive issues revolving around a filmoften elicited emotional responses with-in the participants. Having learnedfrom Eddie and his friends how impor-tant the use of enjoyable hands-onactivities were in affective instruction, Irealized that I needed to design follow-up activities that allowed the giftedmales to process through their feelings.I offered them a menu of enjoyableactivities that included artistic expres-sions, writing activities, music, androle-playing. These activities providedimportant time for introspection for theboys and also gave them the opportuni-ty to continue the discussion of theissues explored in the film. I wasdelighted to note that during the fol-low-up activities, the young men feltcomfortable offering each other emo-tional support and empathy.



A Few Good FilmsSince working with Eddie and his

friends I have continued to infuse guidedviewing of film in teaching and counsel-ing gifted boys. I have enjoyed searchingfor high quality movies in video rentalstores and libraries and have found manygood films appropriate for use in publicschool classrooms. Several of my favoritesfor gifted boys include:

• Lucas (Nicksay & Seltzer, 1986), • The Red Sneakers (Stephenson &Hines, 2002), • The Emperor’s Club (Abraham,Karsch, & Hoffman, 2002), • Finding Forrester (Connery, Mark,Tollefson, & Van Sant, 2000), • A Painted House (Welsh, Shields, &Arau, 1998), • The Mighty (Fields, Startz, &Chelsom, 1998), • Smoke Signals (Estes, Rosenfelt, &Eyre, 1998)• Wide Awake (Konrad, Woods, &Shyamalan, 1998).

I encourage educators to incorporatethese movies into their curricula and tosearch for other quality films to conductmeaningful discussions that address socialand emotional issues with gifted males.They will appreciate and benefit fromthese conversations.

In addition to locating good movies touse in classrooms with gifted males, Ihave been pleased to locate a wealth ofhelpful literature on nurturing healthydevelopment in boys and young men.Much has been written that helps us sup-port gifted males in the challenges theyface with the Boy Code. Teachers, coun-selors, and parents should avail them-selves of this material. A bibliography ofsuch material is featured in the recom-mended resources below.

Teaching and counseling gifted youngmen offer educators rich experiences. Therelationships between educators and thebright boys in their classrooms may bemutually beneficial. I continue to findgreat enjoyment in working with giftedyoung men, and as I learned from Eddieand his friends, they have much to teachme. Through these bright young men, Ihave gained a better understanding of thechallenges they face and how I as an edu-cator can work to support them. n

Recommended Resources ToSupport Teachers, Counselors andParents of Gifted Males:

Beausay, W. (1998). Teenage Boys:Surviving and enjoying these extraordi-nary years. Colorado Springs, CO:WaterBrook Press.

Beymer, L. (1995). Meeting the guidanceand counseling needs of boys. Alexandria,VA: American Counseling Association.

Canada, G. (1999). Reaching up for man-hood: Transforming the lives of boys inAmerica. Boston: Beacon Press.

Caron, A. (1994). Strong mothers, strongsons: Raising the next generation of men.NY: Harper.

Elium, D. & Elium, J. (1992). Raising ason: Parents and the making of a healthyman. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond WordsPublishing.

Gurian, M. (1999). A fine young man:What parents, mentors and educatorscan do to shape adolescent boys intoexceptional men. NY: G. P. Putnam’sSons.

Gurian, M. (1996). The wonder of boys:What parents, mentors and educatorscan do to shape boys into exceptionalmen. NY: G. P. Putnam’s Sons.

Kerr, B. A. & Cohn, S. J. (2001). Smartboys: Talent, manhood and the search formeaning. Scottsdale, AZ: Great PotentialPress.

Kindlon, D. & Thompson, M. (1999).Raising Cain: Protecting the emotionallife of boys. NY: Ballatine Books.

Pollack, W. (1998). Real boys: Rescuingour sons from the myths of boyhood. NY:Random House.

Pollack, W. (2000). Real boys’ voices. NY:Random House.

Shaffer, S. M. & Gordon, L. P. (2005).Why boys don’t talk and why it matters.NY: McGraw-Hill.

References: Motion PicturesThe Emperor’s Club, directed by

M . H o f f m a n . M C A / U n i v e r s a lPictures, (100 Universal City Plaza,Universal City, CA 91608). (2002.)

Finding Forrester, directed by G. VanSant. Columbia Pictures (10202 W.Washington Boulevard, Culver City,CA 90232). (2000).

Lucas, directed by D. Seltzer. TwentiethCentury Fox Film Corporation(10201 W. Pico Boulevard, Los

Angeles, CA, 90035). (1986). The Mighty, directed by P. Chelsom.

Miramax Films (375 GreenwichStreet) New York, NY.10013. (1998).

A Painted House, directed by A. Arau.Hallmark Home Entertainment(6100 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite1400, Los Angeles, CA90048).(1998).

The Red Sneakers, directed by G. Hines.Showtime Networks, (1633Broadway, New York, NY, 10019).(2002).

Smoke Signals, directed by C. Eyre.Miramax Films (375 GreenwichStreet, New York, NY 10013).(1998).

Wide Awake, directed by M. Shyamalan.Miramax Films (375 GreenwichStreet, New York, NY 10013).(1998).

Books & PapersBeausay, W. (1998). Teenage boys:

Surviving and enjoying these extraor-dinary years. Colorado Springs, CO:WaterBrook Press.

Halsted, J. W. (2002). Some of my bestfriends are books: Guiding gifted read-ers from pre-school to high school(2nd ed.). Scottsdale, AZ: Great Potential Press.

Levy, S. (2004, July). Student engage-ment to content and skills: Inspiringpassion for quality work. Paper pre-sented at the meeting of Edufest:Summer Institute in Gifted andTalented Education, Boise StateUniversity, Boise, ID.

Pollack, W. (1998). Real boys: Rescuingour sons from the myths of boyhood.New York: Random House.

THOMAS P. HÉBERT, Ph.D., is anAssociate Professor of EducationalPsychology in the College of Educationat The University of Georgia inAthens, Georgia where he teachesgraduate courses in gifted education.He has been a teacher for thirteenyears, ten of which were spent work-ing with gifted students at the elemen-tary, middle, and high school levels.Dr. Hébert has taught in Maine,Georgia, Connecticut, Alabama, andWest Germany with the Department ofDefense Dependents Schools. He is amember of the Board of Directors ofthe National Association for GiftedChildren (NAGC).


De a l i n gwith thesubject ofcounsel -

ing and guidance forthe gifted kids weraise or know orwork with can be alittle daunting for

those of us not trained in the subject. Weknow that some of the children may needto work with “real” counselors at variouspoints in their lives, but we feel uncertainabout what we can do for them when theyare in our care and company. What I’mcalling the “Story Principle” is a methodof personal empowerment that any of uscan learn to use for ourselves and alsoshare with children.

As a novelist, story is important to me;it is, after all, how I make my living. Butdo you know how important story is toyou, to gifted kids, to all of us?

As we move through our lives,moment by moment, day by day, each ofus is telling ourselves a story—about our-selves, about what is happening to us,about what we can or should do about it,and what it all means. Not everyonemakes a living creating stories, but in avery real sense we make our lives that way.

The biggest difference between the storiesI write for my novels and the ones we areall “writing” in our lives is that I alwaysknow I am working with fiction, whilemost people believe their lives to be“Reality.”

Of course my life is reality! you arelikely to say. There’s no possibility ofchanging it the way one might change thecharacters and plotline of a story. Realityis solid. Reality is—Real!

But consider the possibility that every-thing is story. (Or—if you aren’t ready togo that far—that everything in our sub-jective experience is story.) The wonder-ful thing about story, “real” or otherwise,is that because we create it, we can changeit—in any given moment. The “StoryPrinciple” unleashes unprecedentedpower into our lives—our Real Lives!

Let me start with a personal example.At the conference of the NationalAsssociation for Gifted Children inLouisville last November, I was to give thetalk on which this article is based onSaturday morning at 10:45. Here’s theReality: Friday evening I developed severehead congestion and a cough that kept meup most of the night. I was staying at ahotel several blocks from the conventioncenter and knew that there was a CVS

pharmacy between my hotel and the cen-ter where I was to present. So I plannedto leave my hotel early and stop on theway to get some Aleve Cold and Sinusmedication which I’d used before toquickly eliminate the congestion so Icould speak clearly.

I left the hotel at a time that seemedearly enough to do what I needed to do.At CVS I discovered that Aleve Cold andSinus could not be simply taken off theshelf and purchased. Apparently, I had totake a card to the cash register where thecashier would get the medication. Thestore was very busy that morning. I tookthe card and a bag of cough lozenges, gotinto the shortest line, and waited.

When I finally reached the cash regis-ter I was told that I was in the wrong linefor making a purchase—this line was forlottery tickets only. So I checked mywatch (the extra time I’d allowed was fastdisappearing!) and got into the longerline. When the four people in front of mehad completed their business, the cashierlooked at the card I was holding out toher, and said, “Sorry, you can’t have that.You have to get it from the pharmacy. Itisn’t open on Saturdays.”

Now here’s where story comes in.Fifteen or twenty years ago, back when I


Change Your Story, Change Your Life

As we move through our lives, moment by moment, day byday, each of us is telling ourselves a story—about ourselves.

BY STEPHANIE TOLAN



was a pessimistic depressive, I would havebeen telling myself this story: “Of courseI can’t just buy what I need. Nothing’sever easy.” I would have said (as I hearpeople saying at the grocery store all thetime), “I always choose the wrong line!”And finally, I would have moaned tomyself that given my luck the fact that Ineeded those pills was practically a guar-antee that I couldn’t get them, and now Iwas going to be late for my presentation.I would have been stressed and miserable,and I would have attributed my misery tothe “reality” of my experience. I wouldnot even have suspected that I was tellingmyself a story about it!

In recent years, however, I have discov-ered (partly thanks to quantum physics)that reality is not as solid as it appears. SoI have changed the story I tell myselfabout who I am and what is my place inthe world. My life, my Real Life, haschanged with my story. Now I say, “Ihave whatever I need whenever I need it,

wherever I need it, for as long as I needit.” And it keeps turning out to be true!

Instead of getting more stressed witheach setback that morning, I told myselfthat all was fine and I had all the time Ineeded. When I left CVS, a full fifteenminutes later than I’d intended, everytraffic light, as I came to it, gave me a“Walk” signal. I found the room quicklyand easily and arrived at 10:43. I spokethe first words into the microphoneexactly when the recording was scheduledto begin.

I told my audience this example ofchanging one’s story and said that since Icouldn’t buy the medication I must notneed it (because I have what I need when-ever I need it). My head congestioncleared up as I began to speak and didn’treturn until hours later.

How many of you have had somethingannoying happen to you early in themorning and announced to yourself, “It’sgoing to be one of those days!” And howmany of you have then watched your daybecome a parade of aggravations?

You don’t have to believe me thatchanging your story would have changedyour day (though I will tell you it’s possi-ble). Next time just try acting “as if ” thatcould be. Catch yourself telling a nega-tive story, change it, and watch whatunfolds in your life. At the very least,you’ll feel better about your trying day—at best, what seemed initially to be aproblem could turn out to be the neces-sary lead-up to a cascade of positiveexperiences.

It takes practice to tune in, to hearwhat we are telling ourselves, and to beginto think of that as story rather thanReality. But the more we try it, the betterwe become, first at finding our story, andthen at changing it. If you have a littletrouble with this, you may be glad toknow that most children are able to putthis principle to use more quickly and eas-ily than adults.

But what of experiences that are reallybad, not just annoyances? Surely, you

may say, changing our story cannot beuseful then!

On the contrary. It is then that theprinciple becomes most important andhas the most powerful positive effect.Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves asour most difficult experiences unfold—stories about who we are, why thesethings are happening to us, and what theeffects of them will be on the rest of ourlives—can make the difference betweensurviving our difficult times and beingdestroyed by them.

A Lesson From FrodoOne of my own favorite stories is

Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. It canhelp kids think about becoming the heroof their own story even in the most har-rowing of times. Here we have Frodo thehobbit (certainly as small and apparentlypowerless in Middle Earth as a child con-fronting the reality of the American edu-cational system) who would prefer to stayin his cozy hole, warming his toes by thefire and eating plenty of good food. But

when he is given the task of carrying theRing of Power to the Cracks of Doom, hesets out, in spite of his preferences and hisfears and the likely overwhelming odds heis bound to face. Why? Because he’s thehero of the story. And because he believeshis task (if not himself ) is important andmeaningful.

Sometimes Frodo is extraordinarilyfrightened because the Nazgul who areafter him are formidable and terrifying, asare the orcs and goblins and all the otherobstacles between his cozy home fires andthe Cracks of Doom. Sometimes he’shungry and exhausted. He gets hurtalong the way. Who could blame himfor getting discouraged, even refusing togo on?

Life can feel like Frodo’s story some-times. We and our children are bathed inthe fearful “realities” of our culture. Whatwe hear from the media all around us isthe message that external forces (and ene-mies) are always at work to harm us if we

are not constantly vigilant against them.Nazgul are always hovering above us.

Gifted children, being perceptive andhighly aware, are likely to take in far moreof these cultural warnings than others. Atthe same time, because of their differ-ences, they really do encounter more thantheir fair share of patches of quicksandand pitfalls—even Nazgul—along theirjourneys. Their stories, sometimes actual-ly exacerbated by what we adults tell themabout the trials of giftedness, can becomeone of powerlessness and victimhood.

We can help them change that bytelling themselves that as the heroes oftheir story, wherever there is quicksand orpitfall or Nazgul, there is a way to get pastit. If a particular child prefers computergames to books, we can point out that nomatter what the hero of the game mustface, there is always a tool or weaponavailable somewhere in the world of thegame if they can figure out what it is andhow to acquire it (and they can becausethat’s the whole point of the game!) in away that will allow them to go on.

The wonderful thing about story, “real” or otherwise, is thatbecause we create it, we can change it—in any given moment.



It isn’t only the story we tell ourselvesin the middle of an experience thatcounts, of course. There’s also the storywe tell ourselves afterwards. When some-thing painful has happened, a child whocan say “I was a hero in this situation, andbecause I am a hero, it did not defeat me,”will have a far better chance of healingwhatever wounds she might have receivedthan a child who says, “This unfair andawful thing happened and no matter whatI do things like that will go on happeningto me all the rest of my life.”

In their most challenged moments, wecan say to children that sometimes, whenthings are really tough in our story, wemay have to lie down for a while, wrapourselves in a blanket, and recover beforewe go on. Even a hero may say, “I’mgoing to take a break now till I feel bet-ter.” Afterwards, heroes get up again.

Fairy Tale GuidesFairy tales are also handy for helping

kids think about the effects of story.Consider Cinderella who did not havesuch an important task as destroying theRing of Power. All she had was her life. IfCinderella had told herself that her step-mother and stepsisters had all the powerand she was going to be a scullery maidforever, would she even have wanted to goto that ball? Not a chance! She’d haveknown no prince would look at a scullerymaid. She’d have sat by the kitchen firemoaning that she had nothing, “Just theserags and cinders and no chance ever tochange it.”

But Cinderella wanted so badly to goto the ball that she conjured for herself afairy godmother who could work the mir-acle of the mice and the pumpkin and thegorgeous dress. This is no deus ex machi-na story where a powerless victim is savedby a magical outside force. If Cinderellahad considered herself a victim, would adress, however magical, have given her thenerve to walk into the ball and dance withthe prince? (Back in my days of “ballgoing,” no mere gorgeous dress could

have kept me from standing alone andforlorn against the wall—as I did—tellingmyself that nobody wanted to dance withme.) Cinderella not only knew somebodywould want to dance with her, she daredto tell herself it could be the prince him-self. After all, she was the hero, and thiswas her story!

When she had to flee from the ball,Cinderella didn’t say, “See, this kind ofthing always happens—just when theprince is getting to like me time runs out,and I have to drag myself home with oneglass slipper and one bare foot.” No, shetold herself that she had just had the mostwonderful night of her life, and nobodycould ever take it away from her. Later,when the prince comes around with theglass slipper, she demands to be allowed totry it on. Voila! Cinderella, with a littlehelp from the allies she summons, createsher own happy ending.

Remind kids that just as they havetheir own story, so does everybody else.

So if someone says, “You’re a scullerymaid!” (or a jerk), the kid can say, “That’syour story, not mine!”

You might suggest they write a descrip-tion of themselves as hero. They canmake a list of attributes a hero shouldhave, beginning with “I am…” or “Ihave….” “I am brave…” “I am strong…”“I am persistent... “I have lots of allies…”or “I have everything I need whenever Ineed it.” With this vision of themselves,they can be prepared to confront theirobstacles, their challenges, their Nazgul,and even their wounds.

Meanwhile, remember these ideasyourself. (Remember, it’s harder for us.)If you hear yourself saying “I am…” fol-lowed by a less than heroic attribute like“…sick and tired,” you can change thatbefore you find yourself having to take toyour bed.

Press the Staples Button One way to remind yourself (and any

kids in your vicinity) to activate the StoryPrinciple, is to take a trip to a Staples

office supply store and spend $4.99 (theproceeds support the Boys and GirlsClubs of America) on an Easy Button. Itlooks just like the one in their commer-cials, but when you press it, a cheerfulmale voice says, “That was easy!”Especially wonderful are the instructionsfor its use.

1. Identify a difficult situation. 2. Press your easy button. 3. Listen to its reassuring message. 4. Smile and get on with your day. 5. Repeat as necessary.This has to have been designed by a

person who understands the effect ofstory. Note that you aren’t expected towait until you’ve solved the difficult situa-tion—you hit that button the momentyou’ve identified the difficulty. Andyou’re not told to get busy, then, and solveit. The story is that the solution comes(having been easy) as you, smiling, goabout your day. Put your easy buttonwhere you and the children in your life

can reach it readily. Don’t take my word for all this. Press

your easy button (real or imaginary) andtry it!

For more on the Story Principle, theCD of the full NAGC presentation(“Change Your Story, Change Your Life,#1333CG09) is available at www.netsym-posium.com. n

STEPHANIE S. TOLAN, Senior Fellowat the Institute for EducationalAdvancement, is a consultant on theneeds of highly and profoundly giftedchildren, co-author of Guiding the GiftedChild, and the author of 25 works of fic-tion for children and young adults,including the Newbery Honor winningnovel, Surviving the Applewhites. Hernovel, Welcome to the Ark, has beensaid to offer readers a clearer view ofhighly gifted children than can be foundin most text books. Many of her arti-cles about the gifted are available in fullon her website: www.stephanietolan.com.

Even a hero may say, “I’m going to take a break now till I feelbetter.” Afterwards, heroes get up again.



Perfection-ism.” Theword stirsa mixture

of emotions, depend-ing in part on wheth-er you are speakingabout yourself orsomeone else! Usually

it evokes some mixture of admiration andexasperation. Perfectionists are the peopleyou can usually rely upon to get thingsdone well. Meanwhile, perfectionists arealso the people who can drive you, andsometimes even themselves, around thebend with their constant pressure andjudgment. Some perfectionists wear theirperfectionism proudly as a badge. If yougo a little deeper though, most perfection-ists see this aspect of their personality as aburden—what Anna Quindlen oncereferred to as her “backpack full of bricks.”

What is perfectionism? How do youknow if your child or student has it?Where does it come from? And most ofall, how can you help?

This is a topic I have some, shall wesay, profound familiarity with. I am whatI would call a “recovering perfectionist.” Iam also a psychologist and marriage andfamily therapist in private practice forclose to 30 years during which time thegreat majority of my clients have beengifted and talented children, adults, and couples.

What Is Perfectionism?Actually, let’s start by looking at what

perfectionism is not. Some people want todefine perfectionism as a kind of all-outeffort to do things very well and a dissat-isfaction with things that turn out to beless than what was hoped for. But pushing

yourself, even to the point of exhaustion,and urging yourself, even continuously, todo better is not what perfectionism isabout, although it is true that many per-fectionists will do these things. Strugglingto achieve the best, but then accepting thefact that this is not always possible, is notthe way any true perfectionists wouldcharacterize themselves. To a perfection-ist, the concept of “healthy” or even“adaptive” perfectionism is basically non-sensical. This doesn’t mean that perfec-tionists see themselves as “sick.” On theother hand, they most often see their per-fectionism as problematic for them (andmaybe for others).

Perfectionism is to be distinguishedfrom the pursuit of excellence. For kids,and for many adults who can relate tothis, Miriam Adderholdt has describedthis distinction in her now-classic bookentitled Perfectionism: What’s Bad AboutBeing Too Good? Perfectionism is notabout expending effort to be the best atsomething. Perfectionism is about threethings: the desire to be perfect, the fear ofbeing imperfect, and the sense that one’shope for acceptance as a person is depend-ent on one’s ability to be perfect. A greatdeal of anxiety characterizes perfectionismwhich is why it seems like such a burdenwhenever one actually stops long enoughto think about it. It is why perfectionismcan be so exhausting.

So what are perfectionists like? Let’slook at this from three angles: what per-fectionists typically do, what they may bethinking, and what they are feeling.

BehaviorThe typical, or perhaps stereotypical

picture of a perfectionist, is akin to that ofa whirling dervish: constant motion.

Perfectionists are frequently people whoseem to always be busy with something.There is no rest; everything has to bedone, and everything has to be done per-fectly. It is exhausting just to think about!Of course, no two perfectionists are exact-ly alike, so we can generalize about whatperfectionists look like, but only just so far.

Perfectionists, for example, are some-times the people who arrive late because itseemed as though there were things thatshould be done before leaving. On theother hand, many perfectionists are thereearly because if on-time is good, thenearly is better, just in case somethingshould come up.

One thing that is surprising, though,is the number of perfectionists whoprocrastinate. For some (but not all)procrastinators, putting things off is away of keeping the ax from falling. Ifyou are concerned about being perfect,and you know that someone will bejudging your work, you might find waysto put off the judgment even if it is justsitting there blankly.

ThoughtsPerfectionists tend to think in certain

ways, just as we all do, about themselvesand about relationships with other peo-ple. This kind of “self-talk” will have cer-tain themes for each of us. For many per-fectionists, whether consciously or not,the theme that emerges is “I’m never goodenough.” This might seem odd, sincemany perfectionists seem relentlesslyenergetic and excited about their out-standing achievements, but there is a con-stant pressure not to fail. Nothing is everquite good enough.

Other thoughts can be common as

Getting Beyond PerfectionismBY THOMAS S. GREENSPON

Perfectionists are the people you can usually rely upon to get things done well. Meanwhile, perfectionists are also the people who can drive you, and sometimes even themselves,around the bend with their constant pressure and judgment.



well for some perfectionists, such as “Ihave to be good at whatever I try” whichmight go on to include “I have to be goodat something the first time I try it.”Learning curves are not for perfectionists!A particularly pernicious bit of self-talk,common to most perfectionists, is “If Imake a mistake, it means there is some-thing wrong with me.” Psychologically,this means there is a certain amountof shame involved which brings us tothe topic of the emotional world ofperfectionists.

FeelingsPerfectionism is a kind of self-esteem

issue. I’ve mentioned shame; there is asense that one really is defective or inferi-or in some way and that the only way toovercome this is to strive constantly forperfection. Many perfectionists feeldeeply embarrassed when they make a

mistake, and many find themselves veryindecisive much of the time, not wantingto embarrass themselves by saying some-thing or making some choice that mightturn out to be wrong. As you can imagine,a great deal of anxiety accompanies this.

These are a few of the behaviors,thoughts, and feelings that go with beinga perfectionist. A natural question is: howdoes someone get this way?

Origin of Perfectionism?Perfectionism is not a psychological

disorder, although it does go along withseveral disorders. It is a “personality con-stellation” which is to say, a collection ofvarious behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.Sometimes people who are depressed orwho have anxiety disorders orobsessive–compulsive disorders or eatingdisorders are also perfectionists. We knowthat the emotional dysfunctions are sepa-

rate from the perfectionism, and we knowthat overcoming the emotional problemsis made much more difficult when perfec-tionism is part of the picture. This meanssuccessful treatment has to addressboth the emotional disorder and theperfectionism.

Is perfectionism genetic? In my opin-ion, not likely. The symptom picture ismuch too complex and varied for a singlegenetic origin. This is not to say thatgenes play no role. For example, the anxi-ety and fearfulness or the orderliness andobsession with detail that characterizesome perfectionists may have a geneticbasis. In general, by the time perfection-ism becomes an issue, even in children,environmental factors will have played anenormous and constitutive role.

Perfectionism is Relational.Remember, perfectionism is a desire to

Perfectionism is primarily a relational phenomenon in which a child struggles for perfection as a way to be acceptable as a person.



be perfect, a fear that mistakes will occur,and an emotional conviction that perfec-tion is the surest — maybe the only —route to secure connections and personalacceptability. How would such an emo-tional conviction arise?

Take a brief excursion into two aspectsof basic human psychology. First, humanbeings are meaning makers, so our per-sonal world of experience is always organ-ized and meaningful. Second, emotionalbonds, or attachments, are crucial to ourwell-being throughout the whole of ourlives. It turns out that what sense we makeof our world is crucially dependent onwhat kinds of bonds we have with essen-tial people in our lives. It also turns outthat what sense we make of the worldcontributes to the kinds of connectionswe make as time goes on. So these two

basic elements of human psychology are interrelated.

Here’s an example to illustrate: Onechild grows up in a home where muchencouragement is given. She frequentlyhears her parents say positive things:“Thanks for doing that,” or “I like theway you put energy into things you do,”or “You’re such a neat person to havearound!” In difficult times, she is likely tohear, “OK, let’s take a look at this and seewhat we can come up with. What do you think?”

Another child has a vastly differentexperience. He is likely to hear suchthings as “Stop that! How many times doI have to tell you that you should be doingyour work? You’re just lazy — you’ll neveramount to anything! Don’t look at me ...this is your problem!”

These two children live in two differ-ent worlds. That is to say, their personalexperience is organized in radically differ-ent ways. In large measure, this is becauseof the significant relationships in whichthey are growing up. In one case, the childwill likely see herself as competent, lik-able, and able to rely on the help of oth-ers as resources in solving problems she

encounters. Her self esteem will likely behigh. In the other case, the child will mostlikely feel criticized, incompetent, andunable to ever be good enough. His selfesteem will most likely be quite low.

Children cope with such negative envi-ronments in a variety of ways, such asangry defiance or sullen withdrawal. Oneway, though, is to try to be perfect. Theself talk is: “If I can be perfect, then thecriticism will stop, and I will be accept-able and liked.” That is the sense the childmakes out of his world of experience; it’shis take on what he hears from significantothers in his life. Perfectionism, then, canarise in an environment in which there ismuch criticism and little encouragement.Children can certainly copy perfectionismfrom their parents, but perfectionism isprimarily a relational phenomenon in

which a child struggles for perfection as away to be acceptable as a person. Thereare many kinds of relational environmentswhich have the possibility of producingperfectionism. Examples are:

• hypercritical environments in whichthe child hears continuous criticismeither of herself or of others or both• anxiety-laden environments in whichworries and fears are frequentlyexpressed, especially about being care-ful to see that things are done just right• “push-pull” environments in which itis constantly made clear that even ifsomething is good, it could always bebetter• environments in which a child alwayshears what is wrong, or what could bedone better, and never hears what hasbeen done well (perhaps because doingwell is taken for granted)• emotionally distant environments, inwhich warmth and nurture are rareand family members lead relativelyseparate lives and perfectionism canreflect a hope for secure connection• dysfunctional or chaotic environ-ments which might include emotionalor physical violence, chemical abuse,

or boundary violations, and where per-fectionism can reflect a hope for seren-ity and predictability.

Are Gifted Children More Prone toPerfectionism?

As far as we know from research on theissue, the answer is “no.” The kinds ofenvironmental influences that bear on theorigins of perfectionism are there regard-less of the intellectual level of the child,and any child might respond with perfec-tionistic strivings. There are some precur-sors of perfectionism, though, that mightbe unique to gifted families. For onething, if you are a gifted student and havea tendency to be perfectionistic, theschool experience provides many oppor-tunities to demonstrate perfection. Thismight be harder for a non-gifted student.

In addition, families of gifted childrenmay have especially high expectations andmay see mistakes as signs that somethingis wrong, perhaps giving the impressionthat the child is exhibiting a defect.

It has been said that because giftedchildren have naturally higher expecta-tions for themselves and because quality isimportant to them, perfectionism is alikely characteristic of giftedness. Highexpectations and attention to quality,though, are not the same thing as perfec-tionism. This is another example of theconfusion between the pursuit of excel-lence, in which outstanding achievementis sought, and perfectionism, in which asense of acceptance is the goal.

A Culture of PerfectionismThe emotional intimacy of your fami-

ly environment has to be viewed in a larg-er context. We all come from religious,ethnic, and/or national environmentswhich condition our outlooks and ways ofthinking. In addition, our modern worldhas produced a winner-take-all culture inwhich there are winners and losers, andthe person who simply “does a good job”or “performs well” is looked upon prima-

To help someone with perfectionism, begin by understanding and accepting that they don’t think they are good enough.



rily as an also-ran. Thus the worst fears ofperfectionists are routinely inflamed; itseems that you are either perfect, or youare nothing. Parents hoping to help theirchildren (or themselves) overcome perfec-tionism will therefore have a lot to con-tend with.

Freeing Ourselves FromPerfectionism

If you accept the view that perfection-ism is about a desire to be perfect, a fearthat perfection is elusive, and a conviction(conscious or not) that perfection is theroute to personal acceptability, then a par-ticular approach to overcoming perfec-tionism suggests itself. It isn’t like fixingsomething, since perfectionism really hasno “cure”; it is more like a process ofrecovery. Neither is launching this recov-ery a matter of finding the exact rightthing to do (which after all is the perfec-tionist’s nemesis to begin with); instead, itinvolves establishing a growing sense thatone is acceptable despite imperfections. Itis important to know that it is OK to fail,but what is even more important is anincreasing sense that mistakes are a sign ofhumanity and not a reason to feel shame.

So how do you launch this process? Asa parent or educator, you are setting outto build an environment of acceptance.This is easier in the home, since that is themost significant, ongoing world whichthe child relates to and the one in whichhis or her most significant emotional rela-tionships exist; but it can be done in theclassroom as well.

How do you create an environment ofacceptance? I will outline some of theessential steps here; a fuller description ofthe process is in my book.

To help someone change, you have toknow what the world is like from theirparticular perspective. If I’m afraid I won’tbe acceptable unless I’m perfect, thentelling me not to worry so much aboutmistakes misses the point. I’m worriedabout mistakes, but I’m more worriedabout being likable. Understanding some-one else’s perspective begins with empa-thy: your ability to put yourself in some-one else’s place even if you wouldn’t seethings the same way. Perfectionists oftenhear things that are very unempathic,such as, “Just don’t worry so much aboutbeing right,” or “everyone makes mis-takes—it’s no big deal!”

Many perfectionists do worry and dothink it’s a big deal when they make amistake. Your statements to the contrarymay make good sense to you, but thestatements may leave a perfectionist feel-ing misunderstood and thinking youbelieve they are doing something wrong.They may then think, “If I were a moreperfect perfectionist, we wouldn’t have tobe talking about this!” So to help some-one with perfectionism, begin by under-standing and accepting that they don’tthink they are good enough. You may feeldifferently, but you aren’t the one need-ing help!

Parents can get some insight by havinga dialogue. Ask questions such as, “Doesit seem like we expect you to be the bestat everything you do?” Or “Let’s talkabout mistakes people make and whatthey mean.” With a younger child, youcan ask, “Does it seem like I will be mad,or sad, if you make a mistake?”

Greenspon’s CaveatWhenever you launch into a discus-

sion of this sort, give it time. There maybe a silence or shrug of the shoulderswhen you ask your question; you can say,“I was just thinking about this, and I’dlike to know what you think, too. Whydon’t you mull it over, and I’ll get back toyou on it.” Then let it go, and rememberto follow up later.

If you can grasp some kind of idea ofwhat your child is thinking, you can havea talk about your own views. This is wheresome courage is required: imagine waysyou might have contributed to yourchild’s thinking and behavior. Withoutintending to do so, you may have set thestage for your child’s conviction that he isnot good enough or that something iswrong with her if she makes a mistake.Talk it over with your child and withyour partner.

Do any of the conditions listed earlierin this article apply to your home? Talkabout that. If it turns out that you are acontributor, make an apology and discussnew choices. Think about this: If you sayto your child, “I’m sorry, I goofed; what ifwe work together on this and start to dothings differently?” You are saying severalthings. First, you are willing to look at amistake and do something about it.Furthermore, your child is importantenough to you to make this something

you want to do, and you are saying thatmistakes can be overcome, especially byworking together. All of these sentimentsare anti-perfectionistic, and they all giveyour child effective ways to deal with hisor her own mistakes. What a gift!

I believe in the power of the encour-agement process. Tell your children whatyou appreciate about them, why you likethem, and what you are proud of themfor. Think about their personal quali-ties—persistence, attention to detail, hardwork, and commitment—rather than theparticular products of their labor. Thankthem for what they contribute, and tellthem how important they are to you.

Teachers may find progress with per-fectionistic students to be slow. What yousay can be of significant help, so thesesame approaches apply, but your limitedcontact means limited power to affectyour student’s overall self concept. Pebblesin the water can make wide ripples,though, so it’s important to try! I speakwith many students who are convincedthat when they don’t do exceptionally wellon an assignment, the teacher is mad atthem or begins to dislike them. If youhave the opportunity to ask about this, itwould be helpful (even if you actually areangry!), and you can explore it together.

To sum up: perfectionism is a selfesteem issue with origins in the perfection-ist’s relationship environment. Creating anenvironment of acceptance sets the stagefor recovery. One final note: An environ-ment of acceptance does not mean thatanything goes. Parents and teachersshould always expect that children will dotheir best and strive to improve. Explicitconfidence in the child’s ability to do thatdemonstrates acceptance, not of the mis-takes, but of the person.

Best of luck in your efforts! n

TOM GREENSPON, Ph.D., is aPsychologist and Marriage and FamilyTherapist in private practice inMinneapolis with his wife, Barbara. Tomlectures and writes locally and national-ly on a variety of topics, including psy-chology, couples’ and family relation-ships, and the emotional needs of giftedchildren and adults. Most notably, Tomis the author of Freeing Our FamiliesFrom Perfectionism. Tom and Barbaraare former co-presidents of theMinnesota Council for the Gifted andTalented and served on the MinnesotaState Advisory Committee for Gifted.



Solution-Focused Counseling(SFC) represents a uniquemethod of counseling and/orproblem solving that promotes

changes in school related difficulties in avery short period of time (Downing &Harrison, 1992). Problem resolutionresults from encouraging students todefine the problem, identify situations inwhich the problem does not exist (e.g.exceptions to the rule), acknowledge stu-dent competencies that contributed to theexceptions, and encourage students torepeat success strategies. Essentially, stu-dents discover and apply their ownunique resources and strengths to a givenproblem situation.

The success of SFC rests upon siximportant assumptions (Murphy, 1997):

• If a problem-solving strategy works,do more of it.• Students possess the requisitestrengths and resources to changeproblems.• Small change and previous successescan serve as catalysts for subsequentchange.• Efforts to envision the future withoutthe specific problem is preferred to anexclusive reliance on past mistakes.• The ability to construe student diffi-culties from multiple contextsenhances change.• Accommodation of the student’sunique frame of reference improvescounseling outcomes.

A Case IllustrationSolution-Focused Counseling is a

promising intervention that can meet

the social-emotional and academicneeds of gifted students because it buildsupon their distinctive attributes. Yet todate, a scant amount of attention hasaddressed the merits of SFC with giftedstudents, despite the fact that propo-nents of gifted education have suggestednumerous strategies for meeting the spe-cific and unique needs of gifted students(Reis & Moon, 2002). To that end, thisarticle addresses the application of SFCwith gifted students. The article opensby addressing the utility of SFC withgifted students, continues by citingempirical evidence that supports SFC,and closes with a review of six practicalsteps for conducting SFC, using the fol-lowing case illustration of Melinda as aheuristic device.

Melinda is a gifted eighth-grade studentwhose superior intellectual functioningbelies her poor academic performance.Perplexed by her relative underachievementcompared to her extraordinarily high stan-dardized test scores, Melinda’s teacherreferred her to the counselor because sheexperienced difficulty submitting homeworkassignments consistently in her language arts class.

Counselor: How can I help you today,Melinda?

Melinda: I don’t know what’s wrong. Ijust can’t seem to get my homework in to mylanguage arts teacher.

Counselor: It sounds like this is frus-trating for you. If I had a video camera andwere watching you when you didn’t finishyour homework, what would I see happen-ing?

Melinda: I would start the evening bydoing my math homework first since that ismy favorite subject. I have a tendency tosave my language arts homework until last,and by then I’m really tired, so I don’t haveenough time to complete the assignments.When I get sleepy I start doing other thingsso I can stay awake… like text messagingmy friends or going on the Internet.

Counselor: It certainly sounds likeyou’re making an effort to get your home-

work done. Well, Melinda, on a scale of oneto ten with one being not at all and tenbeing very much, how interested are you intrying to get your assignments in to Mr.Stevens on time?

Melinda: Definitely a ten. Assignmentsare worth a lot in his class. I’m going to failthis nine weeks if I don’t turn in at least halfof what I owe him.

Counselor: It’s wonderful to hear thatyou want to do something about this situa-tion. You sound really motivated to do wellin Mr. Stevens’ class. If a miracle were sud-denly to happen and turning in your home-work was no longer a problem, what wouldbe different for you?

Melinda: Well, I guess I would be get-ting 100% of my homework turned in on time.

Counselor: That’s impressive. What’s theleast amount of change that would need tohappen in order for you to know the miraclewas taking place?

Melinda: Well, I guess I wouldn’t be get-ting as many zeros each week for not com-pleting assignments.

Counselor: Sometimes it’s helpful to seewhat’s working well in other classes so youcan apply those successful strategies in classeswhere you are experiencing some difficulty.Can you tell me about another time oranother class where you do turn your assign-ments in?

Melinda: Sure. Math. I never miss amath assignment.

Counselor: Wow! That’s certainly some-thing you can be proud of. You’ve said younever miss a math assignment. Tell me whatit is you are doing to get your math home-work done and in on time.

Melinda: Gosh…I don’t know. I mean,I know that it takes a while, so I alwaysmake sure I have at least an hour to do it.

Counselor: So in your math class, itsounds like you have set aside sufficient timefor completing your homework. Wow, you’rean organization expert!

Melinda: I know people say I’m “anal.”You know…I’m nerdy and have a day-plan-ner. But it’s the only way I can keep up with

The Application of Solution-FocusedCounseling with Gifted Students

BY NORMA L. DAY-VINES & SUSANNAH WOOD

Norma L. Day-Vines Susannah Wood



everything. Language arts is different. Theassignments change from one day to thenext. Some days we may have to do an essayor answer questions. I read really fast, but Iwrite so slowly that I never get it done; so Inever turn it in.

Counselor: It sounds like your organi-zation skills have helped you a great deal inyour math class. So far you’ve told me thatin math you are very successful because youknow what assignments are coming, andyou’re able to prioritize them according tothe time they take; but language arts is moredifficult because you don’t know whatassignments you have or how long they willtake. Is that correct?

Melinda: Yes, that’s right on target.Counselor: It’s wonderful to hear you

want to do something about this situation.What are some things that are working foryou in math class that you could also do inyour language arts class?

Melinda: In Math class, planningenough time for each assignment really seems

to help. I guess I could do something similarin language arts class. I know I need moretime to do essays than I do to answer ques-tions, so I could probably set aside like anhour and a half for nights that essays aredue, and I could also do my Language Artshomework first to make sure that I get it all done.

Counselor: What a terrific idea,Melinda! You’re demonstrating a great dealof confidence on top of being so organized!Let’s meet again next week to monitor your progress.

According to SFC principles, anynoticeable improvement in a problemconstitutes change. Using the principlesof SFC in the scenario above, the coun-selor uncovered the scope of the problemand helped Melinda identify situations inwhich she completed her homework ontime in classes such as math. The coun-selor praised Melinda’s ability to performso well in math and encouraged her tothink about the strategies she applied inmath class that contributed to her success.

Once Melinda was able to explain herefforts such as knowing when mathassignments were due and allotting thenecessary amount of time to do them, thecounselor encouraged her to apply thesame principles to her language arts class.In addition, the counselor built uponMelinda’s need for precision, includingwhen assignments were due, her aware-ness of her own need for time on certaintasks, and her desire to plan and organ-ize—many of which are common charac-teristics of the gifted student. The coun-selor also ascertained how investedMelinda was in resolving the currentproblem situation and praised her for herwillingness to take the first small steptowards self-initiated change.

Utility of SFC With Gifted StudentsTraditionally oriented counseling the-

ories and modalities focus on studentweaknesses. In marked contrast, SFC cap-italizes on students’ unique personal

attributes. Such a philosophical orienta-tion accommodates the intrinsic needs ofgifted students who have a penchant forprecision, divergent thinking, sensitivity,perfectionism, and multipotentiality.According to SFC tenets, the attributes ofgifted students function as strengths orcompetencies that the counselor shouldenlist during the problem-solving process.Historically, the individual differences ofgifted students (e.g. curiosity and perfec-tionism), have been construed as deficitsthat warrant correction and elimination(Silverman, 1993a). When seeking helpwith concerns (e.g. receiving constructivefeedback, feeling a great need to readeverything they can on a subject, defininghealthy self-expectations or setting goalsfor themselves), gifted students can bejudged “too sensitive,” “overly curious,”“overly demanding,” or “perfectionistic”in ways that set their unique traits inopposition to healthy functioning. TheSFC approach, however, does not inter-pret these traits as liabilities; rather, the

student’s distinctive traits are redefined asassets and incorporated into the problem-solving process. Consistent with solution-focused terminology, students are“blamed” for their ability to make smallchanges towards problem resolution.

Advantages of the SFC Model withGifted Students

SFC has several advantages that canhelp school personnel meet the needs ofgifted students. First, SFC requires mini-mal amounts of direct service andaddresses common concerns includingacademic achievement, peer conflicts,stress, and procrastination (Downing &Harrison, 1992; Littrell, Malia, &Vanderwood, 1995; Mostert, Johnson &Mostert, 1997; Murphy, 1997).

SFC has particular utility for schoolcounselors because time constraints pro-hibit them from allocating a dispropor-tionate amount of counseling resources towork with small segments of students;

moreover, large case loads, the perform-ance of non-counseling responsibilities,and the expectation that school coun-selors will maintain a developmental focusthat emphasizes primary prevention forall students, limits the amount of timethat counselors have to engage in individ-ual counseling initiatives (AmericanSchool Counselor Association [ASCA],2003). Typically, school counselors willhave only a few brief sessions with stu-dents before they are expected to refer stu-dents to other agencies or organizationsfor support (Littrell, Malia, &Vanderwood, 1995). Likewise, ASCA rec-ommends that elementary and middleschool counselors limit their performanceof responsive services (e.g. individualcounseling) to between 30% and 40% oftheir time. High school counselors areexpected to spend between 25% and 35%of their time engaged in these services.The practical and efficient nature of SFCrenders this counseling modality suitablefor addressing the concerns of gifted stu-

SFC requires minimal amounts of direct service and addresses common concerns including academic achievementand peer conflicts.



dents. Essentially, SFC allows school per-sonnel to maximize the time they havewith gifted students.

Second, SFC is as viable as other tradi-tional counseling approaches. The appli-cation of SFC interventions has been doc-umented across a range of counseling con-texts, settings, and populations, includingbut not limited to: individual counseling(Bonnington, 1993; Eschenauer & Chen-Hayes, 2005); group counseling (Cook &Kaffenberger, 2003; LaFountain &Garner, 1997); consultation (Kahn,2000); supervision (West, Bubenzer,Smith, & Hamm, 1997); in-serviceteacher training (Engel, Parker, Caci,Currie, DeCato, & Faustino, 2000); fam-ily counseling (Jordan & Quinn, 1994;Simon, Murphy, & Smith, 2005); andpsychiatric care (Oxman & Chambliss,2003). Under empirical investigation inhigh schools, SFC interventions have ledto problem reduction and goal attainment(Littrell, Malia, & Vanderwood, 1995).

The preliminary investigations citedabove seem to support the contentionthat SFC may have utility for helping gift-ed students navigate similar challengesthat can hinder their best efforts towardssuccess, especially given the model’semphases on student strengths andresources.

Third, SFC can be used during indi-vidual and group counseling. In fact,Cook and Kaffenberger (2003) analyzedthe effects of a group counseling interven-tion that incorporated SFC principleswith a sample of underachieving poor andminority middle school students.Following the intervention, which includ-ed individual counseling sessions, peerinteraction, study skills instruction, con-sultation with teachers and parents, andtutoring, results indicated substantialimprovements in the students’ gradepoint averages. School personnel mayconsider implementing solution-focusedgroups with gifted students since groupinterventions have been documented as apreferred method of meeting gifted stu-dents’ needs by introducing them to peerswho share their concerns (Colangelo,2003).

Fourth, the SFC approach enables gift-ed educators and school counselors toimplement counseling interventions thatsupport the educational mission ofschools while demonstrating educational

outcomes. In the current school reformera, interventions addressing gifted stu-dent achievement and social-emotionalfunctioning must have confirmed andverifiable effectiveness. By using appropri-ate data points for SFC initiatives such asprogress reports, grades, comparisonsbetween baseline and follow-up data onspecific behavioral outcomes (e.g. home-work completion, preparation for class,and appropriate conduct), school person-nel can verify that their efforts and thoseof their students, lead to measurable out-comes (Cook & Kaffenberger, 2003).

In addition, SFC interventions permiteducators and school counselors to meetnational standard requirements set forthby the National Association for GiftedChildren (NAGC) and the AmericanSchool Counseling Association (ASCA,2003). As an example, SFC enables giftededucators to meet Standards 1, 3, and 4 ofthe National Association of GiftedChildren which established guiding prin-ciples of social-emotional counseling andguidance. First, SFC is a differentiatedcounseling approach which not only rec-ognizes the traits, characteristics, and psy-chology unique to the gifted student, butwhich builds upon them as strengths andproblem-solving and coping assets (Fish,1996). Second, SFC enables gifted stu-dents who are considered at-risk or under-achieving to use past experiences andstrengths to solve present and future prob-lems. SFC views these students as individ-uals with strengths and resiliencies thatcan be identified and applied (Fish,1996). Consistent with the NationalModel and National Standards for SchoolCounseling (ASCA, 2003), SFC inter-ventions help support the academic,career, and personal/social developmentof students.

In the section that follows, we enu-merate a set of easy to implementstrategies for facilitating SFC recom-mended by Murphy (1997) because hehas developed perhaps one of the mostcomprehensive approaches to workingeffectively with children and adoles-cents in school contexts. We also rec-ognize the contributions of otherexperts as well (Cook & Kaffen-berger, 2003; Jordan & Quinn, 1994;Santa Rita, 1996; Watts & Pietrzak,2000; West, Bubenzer, Smith, &Hamm, 1998).

The Solution-Focused CounselingProcess

Murphy (1997) recommended sixpractical and easy to implement steps forfacilitating SFC with children and adoles-cents in which counselors are expected to:(a) establish cooperative, change-focusedrelationships; (b) define and clarifychangeable problems, solutions attempts,positions, goals, exceptions, and otherstudent resources; (c) utilize exceptionsand other student resources; (d) encour-age a change in the “doing” or viewing” ofthe problem if useful exceptions andresources are not identified or if studentsshow a preference for a different type ofintervention; (e) evaluate and maintainprogress; and (f ) terminate counseling.Additionally, we make reference to theprevious case illustration even as we citeadded examples of SFC techniques inorder to further the reader’s understand-ing of the model.

Step 1. During the first step of theSFC model, counselors build rapportwith students. Essentially, they adopt the“ambassador perspective” and exude asense of curiosity about the student’s con-cerns (Murphy, 1997). Such an approachhelps to reinforce the student’s sense ofcompetence and recognize her frame ofreference (West, Bubenzer, Smith, &Hamm, 1998). In this way, the schoolcounselor or educator avoids appearing asthe wise and sagacious mentor to whom,if the student would only listen, she willlive happily ever after. SFC relies exten-sively on basic counseling sequences, suchas attending skills that convey warmth,caring, and a great deal of encouragement(Watts & Pietrzak, 2000). During thisphase of the SFC process, counselors relyheavily on presuppositional languagewhich indicates to the student the coun-selor’s belief that the student’s situationwill improve.

As an example, the counselor may say,“Melinda, tell me how things will be dif-ferent for you when you are no longer for-getting to submit your homework.”

Step 2. During the second stage of theSFC model, the school counselor helpsthe client define the problem, using tech-niques such as “videotalk.” As the readerwill recall from the case illustration, thecounselor asked Melinda to pretend acamera recorded her efforts towardshomework completion. In addition, the


counselor may consider asking some fol-low-up questions in order to gauge whatoccurs just before, during, and after theproblem situation. The “videotalk” tech-nique gives the counselor a more explicitunderstanding of the problem situation,helps identify more concrete informationabout the intensity, frequency, and dura-tion of the behavior, as well as the set-ting and the people with whom thebehavior occurs.

The Scaling QuestionOther SFC techniques include the use

of the scaling question to ascertain theseriousness of the problem and/or the stu-dent’s commitment to problem resolu-tion. For instance, the counselor askedMelinda to estimate how serious she wasabout solving her homework problem.For optimal use of scaling questions, thecounselor must define the parametersassociated with the scale (e.g. a responseof one on this scale means…; a responseof ten on this scale means…).Additionally, school counselors can usethe scaling question throughout the coun-seling process in order to determine thestudent’s progress towards the stated goals

(Murphy, 1997), as indicated in thefollow-up session the counselor con-ducts with Melinda at the conclusionof the article.

After introducing the scaling questionand eliciting a particular numericalresponse from the student, the teacher orcounselor can follow-up by saying, “Onthis scale of one to ten, again where onemeans the problem is nonexistent and aten means the problem is huge, howmuch effort would it take to move froman eight to a seven?” Educators may alsofacilitate scaling techniques using paperand pencil tasks to provide a visual depic-tion of the scale. This may be especiallyhelpful for nonreaders who may respondmore viscerally to smiley, sad, and frown-ie faces. During training and supervisionsessions with in-service and pre-serviceschool counselors, the first author has rec-ommended the use of an expandable spherethat students adjust in order to gauge themagnitude of a problem. Additionally,counselors may construct a thermometer asa visual for assessing the intensity of studentproblems. These manipulative devices helpstudents pinpoint concerns in a concreteand engaging manner.

The Miracle QuestionThe Miracle Question is used to envi-

sion life without the problem and tofacilitate goal setting with the student(Murphy, 1997), as the case illustrationdemonstrates. Consistent with the pre-suppositional language associated withSFC procedures, the miracle questionhelps the student consider the futurewithout the problem (Santa Rita,1996). With younger gifted students,educators may instruct students to drawor sketch themselves acting out the var-ious behaviors they have chosen asdemonstrations of change in order toexamine comparisons between the cur-rent and desired behavior.

The miracle question does notemphasize the student’s previous series ofmissteps, but rather helps the student ori-ent herself towards the desired behavioraloutcomes. Responding as if the problemhas already been solved generates opti-mism which is especially important forgifted students who may be frustrated andimpatient with their inability to think ofor implement the solution themselves.The second author notes that when usingthe miracle question with gifted students,


School personnel may consider implementing solution-focusedgroups with gifted students since group interventions have beendocumented as a preferred method of meeting gifted students’needs by introducing them to peers who share their concerns.



teachers and counselors may be inundat-ed by a whole series of changes and visu-alizations of a life radically altered. Giftedstudents frequently are able to visualize alarge problem-free world with them doingeverything perfectly all of the time and allat once. When working with their giftedstudents, educators may have to redirectthe student’s attention to the small changeunder consideration.

As previously stated, the miracle ques-tion helps the student formulate small,practical goals. After asking the miraclequestion, the school counselor askedMelinda to identify a small indicator thatchange had occurred. Santa Rita (1996)emphasizes the use of simplistic goals inorder that students have a very reasonablechance of accomplishing their statedbenchmarks. Related questions mayinclude such statements as, “What signsdo you have that the miracle is alreadyhappening?” or “How will you know thatthe miracle is occurring?”

To reiterate, the sequence of questionspresume that the student is competentand capable and that small changes willlead to additional changes. The miraclequestion contributes to the constructionof suitable goals that can be characterizedas specific, concrete, measurable, observ-able, and practical. SFC counseling oper-ates on the premise of simplicity. Whenstudents identify multiple goals, theteacher or counselor should encouragethem to select a single aspect of the mira-cle that lets the student know she is mov-ing in the anticipated direction.

“Customership”Student reactions to the SFC question-

ing sequence serve a diagnostic purposereferred to as customership. Those studentswho seek counseling voluntarily arereferred to as customers, while those whoregard others as the source of their con-sternation are referred to as complainants,and those who have been referred invol-untarily are considered visitors, respective-ly. SFC identifies strategies for working

effectively with resistant students, manyof whom have been referred for servicesby teachers, parents, and administrators.We do not review each of the variousforms of customership (e.g. customer, vis-itors, complainants) here except to pointout that Murphy (1997) has enumerateddetailed strategies for counseling studentswho do not see their accountability in cer-tain problem situations. In the illustrationabove, the counselor knew Melinda hadbeen referred by her language arts teacherand ascertained the extent to whichMelinda wished to resolve the problem(e.g. scaling question) although Melindahad not initiated the helping relationship.

SFC relies on the ability of the teacherand counselors to affirm studentstrengths, help students see that they maybe demoralized and discouraged but notdeviant or deficient, and help them gener-ate perceptual alternatives about theircompetencies in order to inspire them tofeel confident (Watts and Pietrzak, 2000).

To this end, school counselors, workingfrom a SFC approach, use extensiveamounts of praise and encouragementthat acknowledges a student’s ability tocope under such difficult circumstances.For example, a counselor may say, “Manystudents would not have been able tomanage even getting C’s without turningtheir homework in on a regular basis.Melinda, how have you been able to man-age so well?” Likewise, Melinda’s coun-selor praised Melinda’s confidence to takea small step which required some risk inapplying new problem-solving strategiesin her language arts class.

Step 3. During the third stage of theSFC process, educators can elicit excep-tions when the problem doesn’t occur. Asthe reader will recall from the case illustra-tion, the school counselor asked Melindato think of classes where turning herhomework in was not a problem, atwhich point Melinda replied that shefound math an easier subject in which tocomplete her homework. After probingMelinda about her success strategies,

Melinda and the counselor decided thather efforts to plan and organize assign-ments contributed to the positive out-comes she experienced in her Math class.Given her level of competence andconfidence in math, the school coun-selor encouraged Melinda to applysimilar kinds of strategies in her lan-guage arts class.

Step 4. When educators have difficul-ty eliciting exceptions, they can use SFCtechniques to help students reframe thesituation and provide the student withdifferent interpretations of the problem.For instance, with more resistant students(e.g. visitors and complainants) coun-selors can use another SFC techniquereferred to as the formula first session task(FFST) (Jordan & Quinn, 1994;Murphy, 1997). When students cannotidentify exceptions, the counselor mayencourage the student to pay particularattention to the problem situation andlook for exceptions. This helps both par-

ties to better conceptualize the problemand identify a strategy for solving theproblem situation. As an example, hadMelinda not been able to identify excep-tions, the counselor may have said,“Between now and our next session,please pay attention to classes in whichyou are able to complete your homeworkon time and identify what it is you aredoing differently in those classes.”Counselors may also help studentsreframe their situation by taking on analternate perception of the problem andby reframing the situation.

Step 5. During the fifth step, theschool counselor evaluates studentprogress. Some recommendations includethe use of scaling techniques to evaluateproblem reduction. Assuming the coun-selor had asked Melinda to evaluate theseriousness of her difficulties in languagearts class during the previous counselingsession, the counselor may begin the fol-low-up session in this manner:

Counselor: Melinda, last week when wemet you said that on a scale of one to ten,

An emphasis on what the student does well increases prospectsfor successful problem resolution.


with one being not at all, and ten being veryserious, you indicated that your homeworkdifficulty was about an eight. Where are youthis week?

Melinda: About a five I think. I feltso…relieved to have something in my handthat told me what would happen next, whatwas due.

Counselor: A five! That’s great news!What did you do to get there?

Melinda: I put all the assignments inmy date book and then crossed them out oneby one…oh yeah! I also timed myself…youknow on my essay…I didn’t really realizehow long it took me to write them. It tookme three hours! I knew I wrote slowbut…wow…so that’s why I didn’t get to theother two assignments this week. I got hungup on the essay.

Counselor: So you’re saying that know-ing how long an essay for Mr. Stevens willtake will help you plan the next time.

Instead of badgering Melinda aboutthe two missing assignments, the coun-

selor provided praise and encouragementfor the assignments she completed andencouraged her to continue workingtoward her goal of 100% homework com-pletion. As the student moves toward stat-ed goals, the teacher or counselor maycongratulate or “blame” the student forher success, clarify the steps the studenttook towards achieving progress, and evenprepare the student for times when theproblem may escalate again.

An emphasis on what the student doeswell increases prospects for successfulproblem resolution. As evidenced in theabove scenario, small change can initiatefurther change. This is particularly impor-tant for gifted students because they oftenbelieve and are expected by others thatthey should change the problem situationover night because they are gifted.However, like any other student, giftedstudents are often frustrated by their lackof progress and impatient with theirinability to make the situation resolveitself immediately.

Step 6. As part of the evaluation

process, counselors and teachers may alsocompare baseline and follow-up data col-lection measures using charts, calculatingpercentages, analyzing progress reportsand grades. This is especially important ina high stakes accountability era whereeducators must justify the extent to whichtheir efforts support measurable outcomesfor students (Cook & Kaffenberger,2003). Students can contribute to thenecessary data collection as well.

In the example above, Melinda report-ed to the counselor that not only did sheplace all the required assignments in herday planner, but she carefully kept trackof the time it took for her to complete heressay. Continuing problem-resolutionmay incorporate time sheets whichMelinda could use to monitor the timeshe spends on various language artsassignments. The language arts teachercould then determine if the amount oftime spent was correlated with the gradeMelinda received on any one essay.

Allowing students to collect their owndata promotes efficacy in the problem-resolution process as well as demonstratesa measure of progress which is requiredfor future change.

Step 7. In the final step of the SFCprocess, progress toward the identifiedgoal signals the need for termination. Ofcourse, educators can always leave thedoor open as needed for follow-up ses-sions or brief encounters with students inthe hallway or at lunch. Because of theiradvanced intellectual abilities, gifted stu-dents may only need a few attempts atapplying what they do “right” to theproblem situation before they understandthat behaviors or changes can be appliedacross different problem situations.However, gifted students may attempt tochange all at once because of their abilityto visualize life without the problem, theconsequence of which may be frustrationwhen the situation does not resolve itselfas anticipated. Teachers and counselorswho leave an open door are an asset forthese students who may need a “booster

shot” which acknowledges and normalizestheir frustration and re-envisions the con-cept of change as a series of small, signifi-cant steps (Murphy, 1997).

Limitations of Solution-FocusedCounseling

Despite our overwhelming enthusiasmabout the merits of SFC, we feel compelled to discuss critiques of this par-ticular counseling modality. Dermer,Hemesath, and Russell (1998) provided apersuasive analysis of SFC noting that themodel’s exclusive focus on the process ofbehavior change ignores important gen-der and power differentials. To provide anillustration from our previous case illus-tration, Melinda may have opted to with-hold homework assignments in order tocurry favor with her peers or to deflectattention from her intellectual abilities.The educator’s avoidance of contextualdimensions related potentially to gender,class, culture, race, or other individual

differences is inadvisable because theseissues may be germane to the student’spresenting problem (Day-Vines, 2007;Day-Vines, Wood, Grothaus, Craigen,Holman, Dotson-Blake, Douglass, inpress). That is, in addition to helpingMelinda increase her productivity, thecounselor may need to address Melinda’sconcerns about social acceptance, fear ofsuccess, and self-esteem, all of which rep-resent developmental concerns of giftedfemales in particular. In fact, Henfieldand Witherspoon (in press) documentedthe formidable challenge that giftedAfrican American female adolescentsencounter. In essence, SFC focuses on theclient’s internal locus of control or thestudent’s sense that she is responsible forthe problem and the solution, yet such anapproach does not account for the conse-quences of power, oppression, racism, sex-ism, and classism (Sue & Sue, 2003).

Because of their capacity for percep-tiveness, sensitivity, and concern for issuesof morality and social justice, gifted stu-dents may have a heightened sensitivity to


SFC provides gifted educators with an evidence-based, time-sensitive intervention.



various forms of oppression and at an ear-lier age than their nongifted peers.Educators and counselors of the giftedshould be prepared to help students dis-cuss their affective responses to certainsociopolitical realities. The SFC approachdoes not address specifically the issue ofgiftedness or the students’ management ofwhat he or she may perceive as a stigma(Cross, 2002); however, addressing thegifted student’s experience of being giftedhas been suggested as a primary counsel-ing technique or behavior (Silverman,1993b). Thus, teachers and counselorsmay wish to consider discussing issues ofgiftedness, power, race, and gender asneeded during future sessions with thegifted student. We recommend the use ofSFC techniques such as the scaling ques-tion to ascertain the student’s perceptionsregarding the extent to which factors suchas race, gender, or giftedness have impact-ed the problem situation. Further, themiracle question may help students for-mulate desirable outcomes in whichsociopolitical forces that weigh against thestudent can be eliminated or significantlyreduced. The ideas generated may helpstudents consider an appropriate set ofproblem-solving strategies, the feasibility,and consequences of change.

Given the degree of creativity and pas-sion many gifted students have, educatorsmay be surprised at their students’ abilityto conceptualize how they can be changeagents. For example, if Melinda had dis-closed to her counselor that she believedthat her language arts teacher did notbelieve gifted students needed extra timeor resources in his class by nature of beinggifted, she may wish to research twice-exceptional learners. Similarly, if Melindabelieved that her teacher assumed thatyoung women are naturally more inclinedto language arts than to math, she maydecide to initiate a “girls-only” math club.Regardless of whether or not the studentopts to initiate change, teachers and coun-selors should be prepared to demonstrateempathic responses and exhibit a genuinedesire to understand their students’ strug-gles with issues of identity and socialoppression. Beyond these preliminaryideas, our recommendations for broachingthe contextual dimensions of the gifted stu-dent’s identity and experience are specula-tive, yet we expect they will be confirmed bysubsequent theory, research, and practice.

ConclusionsWhile there has been little empirical

research on the application of SFC withthe gifted student, studies have supportedthe use of this model with various clientpopulations, including the high schoolstudent. SFC provides gifted educatorswith an evidence-based, time-sensitiveintervention which helps meet gifted stu-dents’ needs that are aligned with bothgifted education and counseling stan-dards. SFC facilitates the use of data as ameasure of student progress and successand capitalizes on the innate strengths ofgifted students. Limitations include thefocus on student locus of control and themodel’s minimalization of contextualissues such as the consequences of dis-crimination or oppression based on race,gender, or giftedness. However, byemphasizing their belief that gifted stu-dents possess the requisite strengths andresources to change problems, incorporat-ing the students’ vision of a problem-freefuture, the identification of past successesand their application to small, significantchanges in the present, gifted educatorsand school counselors who choose thepractical and efficient nature of the SFCapproach will not only help their giftedstudents but give their students the toolsthey need to help themselves. n

References:American School Counselor Association.

(2003). The ASCA national model: Aframework for school counseling pro-grams. Alexandria, VA: Author.

Bonnington, S. (1993). Solution-focusedbrief therapy: Helpful interventionsfor school counselors. The SchoolCounselor, 41, 126-128.

Colangelo, N. (2003). Counseling giftedstudents. In N. Colangelo, & G.A.Davis (Eds.), Handbook of gifted educa-tion (3rd ed.) (pp. 373-387). NeedhamHeights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Cook, J., & Kaffenberger, C. (2003).Solution shop: A solution-focusedcounseling and study skills programfor middle school. Professional SchoolCounseling, 7, 116-123.

Day-Vines, N. Broaching the Subjects ofRace, Ethnicity, and Culture in a SchoolCounseling Context. Unpublished man-uscript (2006).

Day-Vines, N., Wood, S., Grothaus, T.,Craigen, L., Holman, A., Dotson-Blake, K., Douglass, M. (in press).Broaching the subjects of race, ethnic-ity, and culture in the counselingprocess. Journal of Counseling andDevelopment.

Dermer, S., Hemesath, C., & Russel, C.(1998). A feminist critique of solu-tion-focused therapy. The AmericanJournal of Family therapy, 26, 239-250.

Downing, J., & Harrison, T. (1992).Solutions and school counseling. TheSchool Counselor, 39, 327-332.

Engel, N., Parker, K., Caci, K,. Currie, A.,DeCato, P., Faustino, P. (2000). Howpsychologists can reduce testing throughsolution-focused teacher in-services.(ERIC Document ReproductionService No. ED446304)

Eschenauer, R., & Chen-Hayes, S.(2005). The transformative individualschool counseling model: An account-ability model for urban school coun-selors. Professional School Counseling, 8,244-248.

Fish, J. (1996). Prevention, solution-focused therapy, and the illusion ofmental disorders. Applied & PreventivePsychology, 5, 37-40.

Fuertes, J., Mueller, L., Chaulhan, R.,Walker, J., Ladany, N. (2002). Aninvestigation of European Amer-ican Therapists/Approach toCounseling African Americanclients. The Counseling Psychologist,30, 763-788.

Henfield, M., & Witherspoon, S. (inpress). Counseling Gifted AfricanAmerican Females. The CounselingInterviewer.

Kahn, B. (2000). A model of solution-focused consultation for school coun-selors. Professional School Counseling, 3,248-254.

Littrell, J., Malia, J., & Vanderwood, M.(1995). Single-session brief counselingin a high school. Journal of Counselingand Development, 73, 451-457.

Mostert, D., Johnson, E., & Mostert, M.(1997). The utility of solution-focused,brief counseling in schools: Potentialfrom an initial study. ProfessionalSchool Counseling, 1, 21-24.

Murphy, J. (1994). Working with whatworks: A solution-focused approach to



school behavior problems. The SchoolCounselor, 42, 59-65.

Murphy, J. (1997). Solution-FocusedCounseling in Middle and High Schools.Alexandria, VA: American CounselingAssociation.

Santa, Rita, E. (1996). The miracle ques-tion and therapy with college students.(ERIC Document Reproduction Serv-ice No. ED392004)

Silverman, L. (1993a). A developmentalmodel for counseling the gifted. In L.Silverman (Ed.), Counseling theGifted and Talented. Love Publishing:Colorado.

Silverman, L. (1993b). Techniques for pre-ventative counseling. In L. Silverman(Ed.), Counseling the Gifted andTalented. Love Publishing: Colorado.

Watts, R., & Pietrzak, D. (2000) Adlerian“encouragement” and the therapeuticprocess of solution-focused brief thera-py. Journal of Counseling and Develop-ment, 78, 442-447.

West, J., Bubenzer, d., Smith, J., &Hamm, T. (1998). Insoo Kim Berg andsolution-focused therapy. The FamilyJournal: Counseling and Therapy forCouples and Families, 5, 3`46-354.

NORMA L. DAY-VINES is an associateprofessor at Virginia Tech where sheteaches in the Counselor EducationProgram. Her research interests andexpertise involve the development ofmulticultural competencies amongcounseling professionals and schoolpersonnel. She has written numerousarticles that address strategies forworking more effectively with culturallydiverse students in general and AfricanAmerican adolescents in particular.

SUSANNAH WOODS worked severalyears as a professional school counselorand has now returned to the College ofWilliam and Mary where she is complet-ing her doctoral degree in CounselorEducation focusing on gifted adoles-cents’ experiences in school counsel-ing. A University of Richmond graduatein Psychology and English, Susannahhas her master’s degree in school coun-seling from the College of William andMary and an endorsement in gifted edu-cation. She has spent her summersworking as a residential counselor forprograms such as Johns Hopkins’Center for Talented Youth and theVirginia Governor’s School for theVisual and Performing Arts andHumanities.

Effective Counseling Qualities*BY ANDREW MAHONEY

To be fully prepared to effectively work with gifted people, couselorsshould:

Know their own giftedness. A counselor needs a clear concept of hisor her own identity as a gifted person, attributes and deficits alike.

Have a strong theoretical base and knowledge of the characteristicsof gifted children.

Be aware of the resources available for gifted children: supportgroups, parent organizations, educational opportunities, bibliographies,etc.

Be creative in the approach to counseling. Conventional counselingmethodologies may not be the best choice for relatively unconventionalclientele.

Remember that gifted children have exceptional abilities. It is easyto be fooled by exceptional intellect and interpersonal abilities.

Ask for help. Exceptional cases require exceptional help. One of themain characteristics of gifted children is their strong sense of independ-ence. Model interdependence and seek the insight of more knowledge-able colleagues.

Gifted children often demonstrate deviant behavior. Counselorsshould be mindful of their value structures for deviant behavior and beconscious of their real feelings.

Be an advocate. This may require you to expand your role as counselorby educating others involved with the child and coordinating services forthem.

Be yourself. Gifted children require authenticity in relationships. Theysee right through contrived methodologies. They seek and require relat-edness in their interactions.

* Taken from the article, “Exceptional Children Require An ExceptionalApproach: Issues in Counseling Gifted Children” by Andrew S. Mahoney,M.S., L.P.C., L.M.F.T.: www.counselingthegifted.com.

This article first appeared in Counseling & Guidance Newsletter, Summer, 1995,Volume 5, Issue 2.

© Copyrighted material from the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC). Thismaterial is reprinted by permission from NAGC, Washington, D.C. (202-785-4268). Onthe web at www.nagc.org.



Ibegan my work in gifted educationwith a focus on counseling needs in1973 at the University of Wis-con-sin-Madison shortly after the Ma-

rland Report (1972), which brought gift-ed students to the consciousness of thenation. At that time, counseling and thefocus on social-emotional needs was a rar-ity. Almost all attention was focused onidentification issues and academic pro-gramming issues. As the years havepassed, identification and academic pro-gramming have maintained their impor-tance, and at times were overshadowed byissues such as teacher training, gender,ethnicity, inclusion, genetics vs. environ-ment, and IQ vs. multiple forms of intel-ligences. Throughout these years of musi-cal chairs regarding the in issue, the social-emotional needs of gifted has continuedto be a solid, expanding concern, butnever the star.

In 1973 you could count on one fingerall the leaders in gifted education whomade counseling issues their primaryfocus. In 2002 there is considerably morerespect and attention for the social-emo-tional issues regarding gifted children (i.e.,attention to counseling needs) than previ-ously. A good example of today’s attentionon social-emotional issues is the publica-tion of the NAGC book by Neihart, Reis,Robinson, and Moon (2002) titled TheSocial and Emotional Development ofGifted Children: What Do We Know?

My research throughout the yearshas focused on several areas, but I haveremained connected to counselingissues and social-emotional develop-ment. A brief summary follows, high-lighting my research as well as my clin-ical insights based on years of workingin counseling situations with students,parents, and educators.

Insights/PerspectivesA defining characteristic of counselors

is their use of the qualifiers “seems” and“appears.” For example, “It seems thatLisa is angry.” “It appears that David isunderachieving as a way to get attention.”A counselor recognizes that an individualis complex and a composite of apparentparadoxes and thus does not want tomake definitive statements that can bechallenged. Gifted students, if nothingelse, are complex. However, it does nogood to pretend there are certain thingswe do not know when we do. Currently,we know considerably more about thesocial-emotional issues confronting giftedstudents based on research and clinicalobservation. To know something in thescientific sense does not mean it is anabsolute or that it holds in a particularway in all circumstances. If this became astandard, we would know nothing.

Counseling Gifted and Talented Students*BY NICHOLAS COLANGELO



Scientific knowledge is an understandingof patterns and dispositions with therecognition that there are exceptions to allthat we know about human behavior anddevelopment. As our research improves,exceptions become just that, rather thanindices of the absence of a knowledge base.

The following insights are based on asynthesis of research as well as my ownobservations/work over the past nearlythree decades.

• Gifted students are typically as welladjusted as other peers.• Social-emotional issues are presentbecause of exceptional ability.• In our society it is not smart to besmart.• Meeting the cognitive needs of gift-ed students often meets simultaneous-ly their social-emotional needs.• Teenage years are the most difficultsocially for gifted students.• To be a gifted minority student is

an added social challenge for thesestudents.• Intelligence is no assurance ofcharacter.• Gifted students are not prone to sui-cide in any greater numbers than otherstudents in their age group.• Depression, anxiety, and isolationare among the common difficultieswith gifted students.• Gifted students do not have lower ormore inflated self-concepts thannongifted age peers.• Gifted students are more sensitive tothe social needs of their nongiftedpeers than the reverse.• The messages that students receivefrom society about exceptional talentare only ambivalent in regards to intel-lectual talent.• Underachievement in schools by gift-ed students is a manifestation of acombination of social-psychologicaltensions.• Parents do not always know what is

best for their gifted children.• It is possible to be gifted and dis-abled (or have a disorder) simultane-ously.• Children benefit from counselors aspart of their development in schools.Gifted students get less than their shareof counselor time and attention.

Self-ConceptThe self-concept construct has deep

historical roots in psychology and educa-tion. Self-concept can be viewed as a“powerful system of cognitive structuresthat is quite likely to mediate interpreta-tion of and response to events and behav-iors directed at or involving the individ-ual” (Nurius, 1986, p. 435).

A number of studies (see Neihart,1999) have indicated that there are no dif-ferences between gifted and nongifted stu-dents on measures of self-concept. Self-concept needs to be viewed as multidi-mensional (Colangelo & Assouline, 1995,

2000) and changes with schooling.Colangelo and Assouline (1995) foundthat:

• self-concept of gifted students islower in high school than elementaryschool• as gifted students progress in schoolthey become more anxious and isolated• gifted students have higher self-con-cepts in academic domains, and lowerin interpersonal domains.

Closely related to self-concept is howstudents view their own giftedness. Astudy by Kerr, Colangelo, and Gaeth(1988) indicated that giftedness is seen byteenagers as a positive when it came topersonal understanding and to perform-ance in academics. However, they sawgiftedness as a negative when it came torelations with peers.

Positive self-concept is associatedwith challenge-seeking, willingness to do

hard work, take risks, and accuracy inevaluating one’s performance (Neihart et al., 2002).

At-risk StudentsGifted students are vulnerable to a

number of issues and situations that canhamper their cognitive as well as affectivedevelopment. Gifted students are vulnera-ble to underachievement, defined asschool attainment considerably belowability level (Neihart et al., 2002). Theoutcome of underachievement is alwaysthe same—performance below expecta-tion. However, the reasons and sources forunderachievement are varied and com-plex. They include social isolation, pres-sure to conform, under-curriculum, fami-ly dynamics, rebelliousness, learning/behavioral disabilities, attention-seeking,trauma, deliberate underachievement, andlack of goals and direction (Colangelo,Kerr, Christensen, & Maxey, 1993; Neihartet al., 2002; Peterson & Colangelo, 1996;

Reis, 1998; Rimm, 1997).There is concern about suicide and

delinquency among gifted. The traumaticeffects of suicide do not rely on num-bers—one suicide is catastrophic. Whilethe numbers of suicide among gifted arein no greater number than for other stu-dents (Neihart et al., 2002), counselorsneed to recognize signs and actively inter-vene for any student who appears at risk.Gifted students who are isolated, anxious,depressed, can be at risk for suicide. A cryfor help must be heeded (Gust-Brey &Cross, 1999).

The research on delinquency amonggifted students, like that on suicide, sug-gests no higher incidence than amongother youngsters. Psychological problemscan manifest themselves into anti-socialand illegal behavior. Especially in theteenage environment, acceptance trumpsreason and safety. There is some informa-tion based on self-reports by gifted stu-dents that they commit offenses, but areseldom caught or taken to court (Neihart

Giftedness is seen by teenagers as a positive when it came topersonal understanding and to performance in academics.However, they saw giftedness as a negative when it came torelations with peers.



et al., 2002; Seeley, 1984).The research on minority students has

been rather consistent indicating thatminorities (except for Asian-Americans)are underrepresented in gifted programs.African-Americans, Latinos, and Native-Americans are well aware of their minori-ty presence in gifted programs and areconflicted about their participation insuch programs. A most unfortunate phe-nomenon afflicts minority students andthat is the association of academic excel-lence (e.g., gifted program) with “actingWhite” (Colangelo, 2001; McWorther,2000). Gifted minority students deal withall the issues that other gifted studentsdeal with and additionally, the ethnicissues of whether they belong in such pro-grams and how they will be viewed bytheir ethnic group if they participate. Weare missing highly capable minority stu-dents because they are conflicted aboutwanting to be found or identified.

Family CounselingThe family has been recognized as a

primary and critical component in thedevelopment of talent (Bloom, 1985;

Moon & Hall, 1998; Moon, Jurich, &Feldhusen 1998). Although research andwritings have increased in the last 20 years(Colangelo & Assouline, 1995; Moon &Hall, 1998; Moon, Jurich, & Feldhusen,1998), counseling with families of giftedis still an area of exceptional need andchallenge. High ability students tend tocome from families that are cohesive,child-centered, authoritative, and inwhich parents engage with their children(Neihart et al., 2002). By no mean doesthis mean that gifted children do notemanate from families that do not fitthose descriptors (Colangelo & Assouline,1995; Moon & Hall, 1998).

One of the important roles that par-ents assume is a relationship with theirchild’s school. Parents of gifted childrendo not always have the skills to advocate

effectively for their children, nor theinterpersonal skills to work well withschool personnel. Parents are not alwaysprepared to take on the challenge of achild who has different needs.

The identification of one child in afamily as gifted changes the dynamics withother siblings who are not identified.Research has indicated that labeling a childgifted can have negative effects on siblings(Colangelo & Brower, 1987; Cornell &Grossberg, 1986; Grenier, 1985).

Transition From High School toCollege and Career Counseling

Gifted students do not always knowwhat they want to do for the rest of theirlives and intelligence does not necessarilytranslate into planning skills for collegeand career. Many gifted students willexperience difficulty at this stage becauseof multipotentiality (Rysiew, Shore, &Carson, 1994). Rysiew, Shore, and Leeb(1998) outline some of the main concernsin addressing mulitpotentiality:

1. Students find it hard to narrow theirchoices to one career since they have so

many equally viable options.2. Multipotential students may also

suffer from perfectionism, thus they lookfor the perfect or ideal career.

3. Students feel coerced from parentsand others to make decisions based on sta-tus and high earning potential.

4. Students must make commitmentsthat may have long-term schooling (grad-uate, professional) and a delay of inde-pendence in terms of earning a salary aswell as starting families. These long-termtraining investments are also emotionallyperhaps, or financially difficult to changeonce a student has embarked for severalyears towards a particular career, even ifthere are serious doubts about the chosencareer path.

A review of research and writings on

career development of gifted students rec-ommends the following for counselors(see Rysiew, Shore, & Leeb, 1998):

1. Remind students that they do nothave to limit themselves to one career.2. Use leisure activities as a way to con-tinually develop areas of abilities andinterest, apart from one’s career.3. Use career counseling as a value-based activity, exploring broad cate-gories of life satisfaction.4. Emphasize peer discussions andgroup work with other multipotentialyouth so that one can see that he/she isnot alone with concerns.Some gifted students have very focused

career interests at an early age while othersdo not develop them until late highschool or start of college. Research doesnot indicate an advantage to either. Careercounseling should emphasize rigorousacademic preparation and high aspira-tions (Neihart et al., 2002) since that willkeep options open. Gifted students willeventually find their passion or niche—keeping options open is important.Research has indicated that females and

minorities of high ability do not alwayshave aspirations and career goals that arehigh and consistent with their abilities(Kerr, 1991; Neihart et al., 2002).

Counseling in SchoolsWhile there are counselors and thera-

pists in private practice or working incommunity outreach centers, no coun-selor will be in as much contact with gift-ed students as the school counselor.School is still the place where giftedness(for the most part) will either flourish ornot. School counselors receive little specif-ic training on the affective needs of giftedstudents and it is the very rare counselortraining program that requires counselorsto take a course on gifted students as adegree requirement. Thus school coun-

It will be a sign of effective schooling when counselors regularly use their skills and expertise with gifted and talented students in their schools.



selors are grounded in counseling but notin theories of giftedness.

Counseling in schools can be envi-sioned as either remedial or developmen-tal. In remedial counseling, the emphasisis on problem solving and crisis interven-tion. With this approach the counselor isa therapist who helps correct problems. Indevelopmental counseling, the counseloralso has a therapist role, but the primaryfunction is to establish an environment inschool that is conducive to the education-al (cognitive and affective) growth of gift-ed students.

Final CommentsCounseling gifted students and their

families is one of the most challengingand rewarding functions for a counselor.Gifted students have tremendous variabil-ity not only in their cognitive capacity,but in their affective development. Whilethere are clearly common themes to thesocial-emotional issues confronting giftedstudents, there are profound individualdifferences among gifted students. Thebusiness of school counselors is to helpyoung people recognize who they are,make decisions, and develop their poten-tial. Gifted students need the assistanceand nurturing counselors can provide. Itwill be a sign of effective schooling whencounselors regularly use their skills andexpertise with gifted and talented stu-dents in their schools. n

References:Bloom, B. S. (Ed.). (1985). Developing

talent in young people. New York:Ballantine Books.

Colangelo, N. (2001). Message from thedirector. Vision, 9, 2.

Colangelo, N., & Assouline, S. G.(1995). Self-concept of gifted students:Patterns by self-concept, domain gradelevel, and gender. In F. J. Mönks (Ed.),Proceedings from the 1994 Europeancouncil on high ability conference (pp.66-74). New York: Wiley.

Colangelo, N., & Assouline, S. G.(2000). Counseling gifted students. InK. A. Heller, F. J. Mönks, R. J.Sternberg, & R. F. Subotnik (Eds.),International handbook of giftednessand talent (2nd ed., pp. 595-607).Amsterdam: Elseiver.

Colangelo, N., & Brower, P. (1987).Labeling gifted youngsters: Long-termimpact on families. Gifted ChildQuarterly, 31, 75-78.

Colangelo, N., Kerr, B. A., Christensen,P., & Maxey, J. (1993). A comparisonof gifted underachievers and giftedhigh achievers. Gifted Child Quarterly,37, 155-160.

Cornell, D. G., & Grossberg, I. W.(1986). Siblings of children in giftedprograms. Journal for the Education ofthe Gifted, 9, 252-264.

Grenier, M. E. (1985). Gifted childrenand other siblings. Gifted ChildQuarterly, 29, 164-167.

Gust-Brey, K., & Cross, T. L. (1999). Anexamination of the literature base onthe suicide behaviors of gifted stu-dents. Roeper Review, 22, 28-35.

Kerr, B. A. (1991). A handbook for coun-seling the gifted and talented.Alexandria, VA: American Associationfor Counseling and Development.

Kerr, B. A., Colangelo, N., & Gaeth, J.(1988). Gifted adolescents’ attitudestoward their giftedness. Gifted ChildQuarterly, 32, 245-247.

Marland, S. P. (1972). Education of thegifted and talented. Washington, DC:U.S. Department of Health, Edu-cation, and Welfare.

McWorther, J. H. (2000). Losing the race:Self-sabotage in Black America. NewYork: Free Press.

Moon, S. M., & Hall, A. S. (1998).Family therapy with intellectually andcreatively gifted children. Journal ofMarital and Family Therapy, 24, 59-80.

Moon, S. M., Jurich, J. H., & Feldhusen,J. F. (1998). Families of gifted chil-dren: Cradles of development. In R. C.Friedman & K. B. Rogers (Eds.),Talent in context: Historical and socialperspectives on giftedness (pp. 81-99).Washington, DC: American Psychol-ogy Association.

Neihart, M. (1999). The importance ofgiftedness and psychological well-being: What does the empirical litera-ture say? Roeper Review, 22, 10-17.

Neihart, M., Reis, S. M., Robinson, N.M., & Moon, S. M. (2002). The socialand emotional development of gifted chil-dren: What do we know? Washington,

DC: National Association for GiftedChildren.

Nurius, P. S. (1986). Reappraisal of theself-concept and implications forcounseling. Journal of CounselingPsychology, 33, 429-438.

Peterson, J. S., & Colangelo, N. (1996).Gifted achievers and underachievers: Acomparison of patterns found inschool files. Journal of Counseling andDevelopment, 74, 399-407.

Reis, S. (1998, Winter). Underachievingfor some: Dropping out with dignityfor others. Communicator, 29 (1), 19-24.

Rimm, S. B. (1997). Underachievementsyndrome: A national epidemic. In N.Colangelo & G. A. Davis (Eds.),Handbook of gifted education (2nd ed.,pp. 416-434). Needham Heights, MA:Allyn and Bacon.

Rysiew, K. J., Shore, B. M., & Carson, A.D. (1994). Multipotentiality and over-choice syndrome: Clarifying commonusage. Gifted and Talented Inter-national, 9(2), 41-46.

Rysiew, K. J., Shore, B. M., & Leeb, R. T.(1998). Multipotentiality, giftedness,and career choices: A review. Journal ofCounseling & Development, 77, 423-430.

Seeley, K. R. (1984). Perspectives on ado-lescent giftedness and delinquency.Journal for the Education of the Gifted,8, 59-72.

NICHOLAS COLANGELO, Ph.D., is theMyron & Jacqueline Blank Professor ofGifted Education at The University ofIowa. He is also Director of The Connie Belin & Jacqueline N. BlankInternational Center for Gifted Edu-cation and Talent Development.

* This article first appeared in TheNational Research Center on the Gifted andTalented Newsletter, Fall 2002 and hasbeen reproduced with the permission of TheNational Research Center on the Gifted andTalented. Find the Center on the Internetat:www.gifted.uconn.edu/nrcgt.html.



Identifying Potential Gifted Dropouts The first step of effective dropout prevention is to identify

students who are likely to drop out (Lunenburg, 2000).Understanding the characteristics of gifted students who dropout of school enables educators to identify potential gifteddropouts. Several characteristics of gifted students who droppedout of school were found in this study:

• gifted students from low SES families • racial minority students, especially Hispanic and NativeAmericans • gifted students whose parents have low levels of education • students who participated less in extracurricular activities • gifted students who have low edu-cational aspirations • gifted students who have a child orare expecting a child.

Reasons for Dropping Out ofSchool

In this study, gifted students whodropped out of school reported a vari-ety of reasons that caused them todrop out of school (see Figure 12).Many gifted students left schoolbecause they were failing school, didnot like school, got a job, or werepregnant, although there are manyother related reasons. Although giftedmale students’ reasons were morerelated to economic factors and giftedfemale students’ reasons were more related to personal factors,school-related reasons such as “I did not like school” or “ I amfailing school” were common reasons for both groups. Thesefindings are similar to findings from the previous study fromNCES, which included all ability groups. According to theNCES report (1994b), the reasons for leaving school report-ed by dropouts were more often school-related than job relat-ed or family related. Also, male dropouts were more likelythan female dropouts to report leaving school because ofexpulsion and suspension. In addition, present study resultsindicated that students’ educational aspirations were signifi-cantly related to the gifted students’ dropping out of school.Some gifted students have low educational aspirationsbecause of personal or school-related problems. This suggeststhat teachers and parents should guide and encourage poten-tial dropouts to increase their educational aspirations. Also,school culture should be changed to meet the needs of thesestudents, providing an appropriate curriculum and stimulat-ing their interests and learning styles (Renzulli, 1986;Robertson, 1991). (p. 42)

Develop a Prevention Plan The results from this study suggested that several features

should be considered in a prevention program. • First, as early as possible, schools and teachers need to iden-

tify gifted students who are at risk of dropping out of school. • Second, schools should provide an appropriate curricu-

lum that addresses gifted students’ needs, interests, and learn-ing styles.

• Third, more opportunities for extracurricular activities andencouragement to participate in them should be provided to thegifted students who are at risk of dropping out.

• Fourth, as Wells (1989) emphasized, student and teacherrelationships should be improved. Previous research as well as

results from the present study point outthat negative attitude toward schooland teachers is a major contributor todropping out. Wells reported that a“good teacher” is the most positive ele-ment of school. Bhaerman andKopp (1988) also found that fewerstudents dropped out of schoolwhen their teacher was flexible,positive, and creative.

• Fifth, counseling services and spe-cial programs should be given to giftedstudents who fail school because of per-sonal or school-related problems, whoare pregnant or have a child, who havea drug problem, and who have to workto support their family.

• Also, schools and teachers shouldcommunicate closely with parents whose gifted child has thepotential to drop out of school, and parents should have moreinvolvement with regard to their child's problems.

• Nelson (1985) suggested that schools should develop linkswith the community and work with organizations that can pro-vide appropriate services. n

Source: National Research Center on the Gifted andTalented, December 2002, RM02168. See the entire documentat the Center’s Website:

The work reported herein was supported under the EducationalResearch and Development Centers Program, PR/Award NumberR206R000001, as administered by the Office of EducationalResearch and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education. Thefindings and opinions expressed in this report do not reflect the posi-tion or policies of the National Institute on the Education of At-RiskStudents, the Office of Educational Research and Improvement, orthe U.S. Department of Education. This document has been repro-duced with the permission of The National Research Center on theGifted and Talented.

Giftedness and High School Dropouts:Personal, Family, and School-related Factors

BY JOSEPH S. RENZULLI AND SUNGHEE PARK

MALE I was failing school I got a job I couldn’t keep up with my school work I didn’t like school I couldn’t work and go to school at same time

FEMALEI didn’t like school I was pregnant I became a parent I was failing school I had another problem I couldn’t keep up with my schoolwork

Figure 12. Reasons that gifted students drop outof school.


Family Flavors

BY ANN MACDONALD AND JIM RILEY

Using foodas a com-mon den-ominator

can address the valueof individuals whenlooking at the socialand emotional as-pects of a lesson. Ifan especially diverse

class of students needs to be brought closer together, better toappreciate the positive “ingredients“ each student brings to themix, food can be the melting pot—or at least the tossed salad.And, although a recipe book is at the core of this project, thecomplexities added here extend beyond the culinary, into ingest-ing new ideas appropriate for gifted students. This lesson willresult in a cookbook that goes beyond the collection of classrecipes to fostering an appreciation of diverse cultures expressedthrough the universal themes of nourishment and comfort result-ing in a novel product by gifted students.

Literature is rich with references to food, and students oftenhave intense associations with particular meals, as well as reac-tions to food in general. The description and analysis of suchthoughts make a unique inclusion for a class cookbook. Ofcourse, there needs to be a recipe or two from each family, alongwith a brief paragraph giving the background for the choices, andline drawings enhancing the look of the pages. Surprising and fre-quently humorous reflections can make the unifying class book a“best seller.”

With careful checking, editing, and time for assembling, apublication such as this can occupy at least several weeks of com-mittee work before it is ready for the fundraising and/or potluckcelebration.

Introducing the Lesson: Cooking and WritingIn the context of food, much can be observed about the

human condition. Distilling such thoughts into free verse is away to begin, made especially effective if the initial discussionis accompanied by the in-class preparation of a favorite fami-ly recipe.

Enter the showman…think food network. Make it personal—family flavors that carry warmth and love associated with home.The class should be presented with an emotional experience youcan’t help sharing that encompasses anecdotes and the backstory

of the dish, people involved, and when served. If possible, pick asoup, sauce, or other specialty with unusual ingredients—tortillasoup or curried chicken soup—that has sensory appeal and can beeasily prepared in a Crock-Pot or on an electric plate. As the foodis cooking, the story behind the recipe should be told and sam-ples of the ingredients—cilantro, roasted peppers, e.g.—shouldbe passed around for aroma, texture and sampling the flavor.Discussion can include source, occasions for use, and preparation.Attention should be directed to contrast the stark differencesbetween the particular ingredient and the eventual blend.

A cache of words—crispy, lingering, savory, earthy…Mmmmm—should be recorded while the experience is fresh.These can be elicited by encouraging a free-for-all listing of wordsfrom the heart, as well as the stomach. Meaty words and phrasescan also be collected by going around the room and getting sucha contribution from each student. As a food writer Kalins put it,“…the smell that wafts up is warm as a hug.”

Next, categorize the impressions—new experiences or associ-ated recollections, attributes of the raw ingredients contrastedwith the finished product, techniques of preparation, emotionstriggered by connections to important occasions.

Does a theme for a composition emerge? What further phras-es could describe the setting or lead to a summation? Assign ashort poem to be started during class and either finished the nextday or for homework. The finished writing can then be read,accompanied by serving the completed soup.

Food for ThoughtYou are what you eat in so many ways. Topics for verse can go

beyond the physiological and gustatory to include humor, cele-brations, cultural environment, sources of food, attitudes towardmealtimes, introduction to responsibilities of budget and prepa-ration…. Introduce the idea of a thought-provoking cookbookcontaining a written contribution from everyone.

Quotations, as well, can trigger cookbook compositions.

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. –President Truman

I feel a recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cookcan play each time with a variation. –Madame Benoit

A food is not necessarily essential just because a child hates it.–Katharine Whitehorn


H A N D S - O N C U R R I C U L U M



I am a vegetarian not for my health, but for the health ofthe chickens. –Isaac Bashevis Singer

The waist is a terrible thing to mind. –Tom Wilson

The students share their rough ideas to receive reactions fromthe class for expansion and revision. Revise, polish, and formatthe poems with line breaks appropriate to free verse.

Line drawings by students provide main illustrations for eachsection, as well as small drawings to provide additional interest tothe text. These, too, need prompts for ideas and refinement forreproduction. This is an opportunity for providing humor, suchas a rabbit eyeing a tower of salad or a chicken parachuting intothe soup.

Cookbook ProductionOnce the compositions are in full swing, the make-up of the

cookbook can be discussed. As the project coordinator, theteacher needs to decide how much decision-making the class isready for in determining necessary committees, food sections,sales, and distribution. Our class decided on these cookbook sec-tions: Beverages, Breads, Salads and Soups, Main Courses, Sides,and Vegetables, and Desserts, followed by an index.

It was helpful to select a recipe format and make it available onthe school Web site, and send a hard copy home. Each family wasasked to write a paragraph relating the history and use of itsrecipe, as well as running a “test kitchen check” of the written ver-sion to see that everything had been included and in the rightamounts, process, times and temperature.

The final versions were submitted electronically or on disc,when possible, along with a printout. Parents helped to proofreadand check for consistent format. Students kept records to makesure everyone was included and sent reminders for late submis-sions. We coordinated the final layout and illustrations.

The final layout and printing arrangements can be done withvarious amounts of formality. One decision will entail the num-ber of copies—one per family probably won’t be enough!Considering grandparents and other relatives who will want acopy, it is best to take orders ahead of time. The possibility of aschool fundraiser needs to be considered as well.

With this information in hand, it may be possible to get print-ing and binding donated, or at least discounted, with credits inthe front of the book. Be creative—ours were printed and spiralbound by Hospital Forms Services through a parent connection.The final page included ordering information and how the fundswere to be used.

A potluck celebration was held at school, organized with eachfamily bringing one of its entries. Cookbooks were distributed atthat time. The bonding and enthusiasm generated by this projectacknowledged diversity and provided an outlet for our giftedcommunity that was long lasting. n

ANN MACDONALD and JIM RILEY are the editors of theHands-on-Curriculum department of the Gifted EducationCommunicator. They taught in the San Diego City School’sSeminar program for the highly gifted.

Angel Soup

The sizzling hot aroma of the charro beanshaunts me to this day—exploding hungerbringing distant memories

of family celebrations.Inside the soup

…magicI feel my mother’s hug

Squishing inside me with warmth and loveThe rich, heart-warming tasteobsesses me foreverI am dying of starvation

For charro beans!

Xochitl

Rice

Rice,cooking.A faint smell,barely detectable.Gently simmering in a calm pot of wateron the kitchen stove.I can remember times when I came home, starving from swim teamand found a hot pot of rice waiting.Calming, white sticky rice, sticking to the chopsticks.Plain,or with a waterfall of colorful vegetables,brown sauces—thick from beefor sizzling wonderfully in a pan.Yet always the same basic taste.I search the air for other scents—broccoli, bamboo.and I hardly have to guess what will be for supper.

Michiyo

Here are somepoems published in our classroomcookbook:



To even write this phrase repetitive-ly creates a stab in the heart. Asexperienced as we educators are, Iwonder if we ever really feel the

pain of that sentence as a child does. Yet ifyou ask any adult to remember the hurtfulwords and jabs from his or her own child-hood, you will provoke discussions of sharedmiseries.

I think all children suffer emotional hurt in school to variousdegrees, but sensitive children feel the pain at a deeper level.Many, if not most of those children may be gifted.

Stephanie Tolan and others write about Dabrowski’s thoughtsregarding people who show “over excitabilities” in their personal-ities. From difficulties in getting to sleep to skin sensitivities fromscratchy labels in shirts or clumps in socks to tender sensitivitiesfor music to the dreamers and poets to overly emotional children,do you not wonder if these children would never suffer from suchuniqueness if others did not respond in negative ways? Do younot wonder why other children make sensitive children feel oddfor having such qualities? Isn’t it hard enough for a child to livewith his own quirks without feeling vulnerable to other people’s

chiding? Isn’t it difficult enough for any of us to live with our ownidiosyncrasies—or even our own normalcies—without mean spir-ited censure or condemnations?

Children are not sophisticated enough to analyze such hurts;they only feel them. Mary Elaine Jacobsen, a psychotherapist,writes about adults who discover in adulthood that these odditiesthat have grieved them for years are really gifted qualities. Herresearch refers to the existential angst due to the disparity betweenpotential and fulfillment and the denial of gifted traits and man-nerisms to cope with societal pressures to be normal. The childlives on inside the adult.

Nicholas Colangelo has written about counseling for the gift-ed for years. He reminds us that “the social-emotional needs ofgifted has continued to be a solid, expanding concern, but neverthe star.”

Considering the state of emotional stress in our schools, per-haps it is time to promote social-emotional needs to star status! n

ELAINE S. WIENER is Associate Editor for Book Reviews forthe Gifted Education Communicator. She is retired from theGarden Grove Unified School District GATE program. She canbe reached at: [email protected].

C A R P E D I E M

Emotional DamageBY ELAINE S. WIENER

“It’s emotionally damaging to be unacceptable in the place you spend six hours of every day for13 years.”

“It’s emotionally damaging to be unacceptable in the place you spend six hours of every day for13 years!”

“It’s emotionally damaging to be unacceptable in the place you spend six hours of every day for13 years!!”

Psychologist and authorLinda Silverman



Counseling gifted kids is and isn’tlike counseling other kids. Giftedkids have the same issues as otherkids their age—research shows

that gifted kids are not more (or less) proneto emotional distress.* But like nearly every-thing else they do, gifted kids seem to feelmore, longer, and more deeply. Gifted kidsfeel more stressors, with both external and

internal sources. They are often more empathetic, mirroring theemotions of those around them. And they can be more of a chal-lenge to counselors and psychologists working to counsel andguide them.

Any discussion of social-emotional aspects of giftedness mustinclude the NAGC book by Neihart, Reis, Robinson, and Moon(2002), The Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Children:What Do We Know?* For a discussion of the research behind thebook, read Neihart’s speech “Cause for Concern, or Reason toCelebrate: Maureen Neihart Discusses her Research on the Socialand Emotional Development of Gifted Children” found at:http://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/resources/socemoachieve/maureenneihart.html.

Miraca Gross’s The ‘Me’ Behind the Mask: Intellectually GiftedStudents and the Search for Identity,” can be found on the SENG(Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted) website: www.sen-gifted.org/articles_social/Gross_TheMeBehindTheMask.shtml. It offers a glimpse of one of the difficulties of growing up gift-ed: identity development. The conflict between our peer-orient-ed culture and the natural differences of the gifted child, maycause great confusion. Attempting to bury intellectual drive infavor of teen group behavior often conflicts with gifted moraldevelopment.

SENG deserves high praise. SENG is a unique organizationwith its mission to support the social-emotional needs of the gift-ed. SENG does this by offering resources for gifted individuals,parents, professionals, and counselor;, an annual conference;research and training grants (currently suspended, watch the sitefor more information); and graduate-level training programs (CEcredits) for psychologists and others in mental health disciplines.For counseling and guidance of the gifted, SENG is a great placeto start: www.sengifted.org.

In “Counseling Gifted and Talented Students,” Nicholas

Colangelo shares 30 years of research and insights. His articlepublished in the newsletter of the National Research Center onthe Gifted and Talented is online at: www.sp.uconn.edu/~

nrcgt/news/fall02/fall022.html. Colangelo begins with these:• Social-emotional issues are present because of

exceptional ability. • In our society it is not smart to be smart. • Meeting the cognitive needs of gifted students often

simultaneously meets their social-emotional needs. • Teenage years are the most difficult socially for

gifted students. • To be a gifted minority student is an added

social challenge.And more… (See this issue, p. 42.)

In NAGC’s Parenting for High Potential journal, Jean SundePeterson details “A Counselor’s Perspective on Parenting HighPotential” Find it on the Web at: http://www.nagc.org/upload-ed-Files/PDF/counselorperspectdec02.pdf. Peterson begins bystating that “Affective concerns of the gifted should not be dis-counted either at school or home…;” she continues, “The sensi-tivity and intensity that have been associated with high abilitymay exacerbate difficulties associated with these circumstancesand events. Even ‘normal development’ can dramatically unsettlethose who are bright and capable. Repairing from traumaticexperiences may be especially complex and intense in gifted indi-viduals, although various dimensions of their intellect may alsocontribute to resilience...”

Counseling cannot accomplish anything without consideringintroversion as an aspect of the gifted individual. “Introversion:The Often Forgotten Factor Impacting the Gifted,” as explainedby Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. Find it at: http://-cfge.wm.edu/documents/Introversion.html. The authorsremind us that guidance for introverts must be a part of educa-tion. “This training should be a part of the educational programfor all gifted introverts as it provides them with a useful mask toput on when necessary.”

Burress and Kaenzig offer many ways to accomplish this, butforemost is: “We need to start with awareness [of introversion]because, just like giftedness, being an introvert is commonly seenas negative, as anti-social, and as weird by much of the world.And we know that all it is … is different.”

It is clear that counselors of the gifted need a special tool-set.The situation becomes even more complicated when they areworking with children who are both gifted and learning disabled,also known as “twice exceptional” children. Adriana G.McEachern and Javier Bornot offer us “Gifted students withlearning disabilities: implications and strategies for school counselors”: www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0KOC/-

W E B W A T C H

Counseling andGuidanceBY CAROLYN KOTTMEYER


51 GIFTED EDUCATION COMMUNICATOR, SUMMER 2005

is_1_5/ai_80306022. They state “The services provided byschool counselors can help gifted students with learning disabili-ties cope with the interpersonal, emotional, behavioral, and aca-demic issues they face.” But this assumes that counselors arefamiliar with the characteristics of twice-exceptional students!The article continues, “For gifted students with learning disabili-ties, confusion about their mix of special abilities and sharpdeficits can lead to feelings of frustration, unhappiness, and iso-lation. Gifted students with learning disabilities can benefit fromguidance and counseling interventions…”

One counseling solution is as close as your bookshelf, asdescribed in “Using biography to counsel gifted young men,” byThomas P. Hébert: www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/-Hebert_UsingBiographyToCounselGiftedYoungMen.shtml.Many counseling issues, perhaps more than you think, can bebroached and discussed in the framework of a book club.Bibliotherapy, especially using biographies, can be a powerful toolwith young men. For topical book suggestions for all age groups,I turn to the book, Some of My Best Friends Are Books: GuidingGifted Readers from Preschool to High School by Judith WynnHalsted (2002) which is readily available through online book outlets.

The challenge for counselors of the gifted doesn’t end whenthe gifted kids grow up. Andrew S. Mahoney’s “Gifted IdentityFormation Model” is at: www.counselingthegifted.com/-arti-cles/insearchofID.html. It offers a framework for counselors towork with gifted teens and adults toward a goal of understandingthemselves—their identities. “How an individual integrates anddevelops his giftedness has ramifications for his life span. Ourresponsibility as professionals is to help the gifted individual learnabout variations in ability and how that variance is to be integrat-ed with ‘who I am’ as a whole self, which includes one’s giftedness.”

Kids KornerGifted kids tend to care deeply, and gifted kids tend to have

too many books. If that sounds like you, www.bookcrossing.commay be the solution for your family. What is bookcrossing, youask? Well, since it has been added to the Concise Oxford EnglishDictionary in August 2004, the word “bookcrossing” is becom-ing part of the standard vocabulary of book lovers world-wide.Bookcrossing is defined as “n. the practice of leaving a book in apublic place to be picked up and read by others who then do like-wise.” Or as the folks at Bookcrossing put it, “Our members love

books enough to let them go—into the wild—to be found byothers. Book sharing has never been more exciting, moreserendipitous. Our goal, simply, is to make the whole world alibrary. BookCrossing is a book exchange of infinite proportion.”

Too many books is definitely a matter of opinion. It is my opin-ion that my kids have too many books—there are always dozensthat “don’t fit” on their bookshelves; but we do have a hard timegetting rid of any! It takes so much time, as we end up re-read-ing them as we sort, enjoying them all over again.

For volunteering ideas, visit “20 Ways for Teenagers to HelpOther People by Volunteering” at: www.bygpub.com/-books/tg2rw/volunteer.htm. While these ideas are presented forteens, and our gifted kids are often interested in volunteeringlong before their teenage years, these 20 ideas offer gifted childrena starting point to find the right volunteer activity for themselves.

I must admit, I’m a science and math geek. My idea of a neatt-shirt is one that displays Pi to the nth digit; my idea of a fundiversion is a logic puzzle or a Sudoku grid. This season, Sudokuhas finally gone mainstream in America, but in case you haven’tcaught the craze yet, here’s a link for you: WebSudokuwww.websudoku.com offers “billions of puzzles” rated from easyto evil. Just remember, this is only supposed to be a diversion!

For a great place to get lost for days or weeks and learn aboutany topic from Disasters to Flight, Anthropology to Physics, andlots more, visit the NOVA companion sites at:www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/. My favorite? I’m fascinated byMagnetic Storm: www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/magnetic/. Itdescribes the potential for the earth’s magnetic field to reverse…when compasses point south! See a simulated reversal. And don’tmiss The Mysterious Life of Caves www.pbs.org/wgbh/-nova/caves/. Journey 1200 feet down inside Lechuguilla, andlearn about the Lives of Extremophiles—bacteria that live wherenothing else can.

For those who’d rather spend their time with words and appre-ciate a little history, too, visit the Online Etymology Dictionary:www.etymonline.com. As the site-owner says, “This is a map ofthe wheel-ruts of modern English. Etymologies are not defini-tions; they’re explanations of what our words meant and how theysounded 600 or 2,000 years ago. And what interesting roots ourwords have!”

Once you’ve reviewed their etymologies, perhaps the words ofThe Chaos will finally make sense; find them at: www.yourdic-

tionary.com/library/tough.html.

“Finally, which rhymes with enough– Though, through, plough, or dough, or

cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give it up!!!” —Gerald

Nolst Trenite (1870-1946) n

CAROLYN KOTTMEYER is the 2005 win-ner of the NAGC Community ServiceAward for her work as the webmistressof Hoagies’ Gifted Education Pagewww.hoagiesgifted.org and Hoagies’ Kidsand Teens Page www.hoagieskids.org.

Your CALIFORNIA Placement Connection!CAL / WEST EDUCATORS PLACEMENT

Recruiting Teachers & Administrators nationally for K-12 Private & Independent Schools

www.CalWestEducators.comSend resume to [email protected]



The major focus of The Factory is ondeveloping problem-solving skills.It provides engaging practice andinstant feedback on student

progress. When using this program in theclassroom, it is essential that it is not consid-ered an “end” but rather a “means to an end”;the end result should be that students are ableto apply problem-solving skills to other areas

of the curriculum. Therefore, it is important that The Factory notbe used in isolation. Once students learn these skills, the teachermust ensure that they are applied to the study of the curriculum.Most students will not automatically make the transfer on their own.

The Factory provides an object for the user to duplicate. Theuser designs a factory that will take a basic shape—in this case, acircle—and create an exact duplicate of the prototype.

The first question one might ask is “Why? Why would I wantstudents to spend time doing that?” At first glance, this programmay seem to be just a game or a meaningless activity. However, asone analyzes the program, it quickly becomes apparent that TheFactory provides a wealth of opportunities to apply and reinforcesophisticated high-level problem solving skills. It includes manylevels of difficulty which makes it a valuable learning tool for stu-dents from primary to secondary grade levels. Not all gifted stu-dents will be ready to move rapidly through this program, butthere is opportunity for those who are. There is also enough chal-lenging variety at each level to allow students to practice tasksmany times without becoming frustrated.

Although this program was originally published in the 1980sand updated and revised in 1999, it remains among the bettersoftware programs on the market. It was a Software PublishersAssociation Codie Award Finalist, received the EDPressDistinguished Achievement Award, and is listed on the CaliforniaLearning Resource Network (CLRN).

The following is a partial list of skills found in The Factory;these skills are reinforced time and time again as a student usesthis program.

Problem Solving• visual/spatial perception• attention to detail

• reverse engineering• visualization several steps ahead• sequencing• using a model• keeping records• analyzing attributes• predicting based on criteriaBasics of Geometry

The program includes five sections or activities, each reinforc-ing different skills. The opening screen offers a quick tour of thefive sections and includes a brief introduction of each. This intro-ductory audio tour can easily be bypassed by clicking the mouse.

The publishers state that the program is appropriate for stu-dents in grades 4–8. However, each section includes several levelsof difficulty from very basic—appropriate for primary students,to very difficult—a challenge for adults. The levels can be con-trolled manually by the user or set to Auto Mode. In Auto Mode,the program advances as each level is successfully completed, andthere is an option to earn points.

The HELP screen provides easy to understand informationand is easy to access at any time. Each of the sections has a HELPscreen that pertains just to that section. You can go to a MainHelp Menu by clicking on Contents in any of the HELP screens.

Students can work in small groups, pairs, or individually. Theactivities foster collaboration between students in pairs or smallgroups. The program provides tools they can use to keep recordsby taking pictures, taking notes, and saving their work. They alsohave the option of saving their progress in any of the sectionswhen the program is closed.

SECTIONS

Try ItAlthough the student can suc-

cessfully go to the sections in anyorder, this is the best place for thenovice to begin. The factorymachines along the bottom of thescreen are available for the studentto use to make a factory. There is astriper, puncher, rotator, and cutter. They can drag them into thefactory and experiment with each to learn what effect they haveon the product. Original factories can be created using severalmachines and students can analyze the steps to predict what thefinished product will be. A helpful strategy is to have students usea small paper square as a model to help them predict the outcomeof the factory they create. The HELP menu in this section

S O F T W A R E R E V I E W

The FactoryBuilding Problem Solving Skills.

BY MARGE HOCTOR



describes each machine and its function, providing an overview ofthe process.

Research ItThis section provides the opportunity for the student to ana-

lyze a factory that has already been created to determine how theassembly line can be modified to become more efficient. Forexample, there may be two machines that each turn the product45 degrees; one machine that turns it 90 degrees would be moreefficient. In the higher levels of the activity, there is an option toclick “Impossible,” indicating that the factory cannot be improved.

Build ItIn this section, students are given a product and their task is

to build a factory to duplicate it exactly. They create the factory,and then the product is created. The finished product is placedunder the prototype. This activity demonstrates to students thatfailure is not always a disaster but that it is a part of the problem-solving process. If all of the details are not correct, the student cancompare, analyze the problem, develop a new factory, and try again.

Ship ItThis section focuses on attributes and geometry. Students

are given instructions for packing boxes for shipment.Instructions increase in difficulty at the higher levels. Examplesinclude: punched shapes, green shapes, parallelograms, scalenetriangles, triangles with an area of 24. The user has the optionto focus only on triangles, only quadrilaterals, or mixed shapes.The higher the level, the more boxes must be filled. Once all ofthe boxes are filled, clicking “Ship It” will lead to boxes beingclosed and shipped if they are packed correctly. If not, the cor-rect items will stay in the boxes, the incorrect items will returnto the shelf to be repacked. Products cannot be checked foraccuracy until all of the boxes are filled. The HELP screen inthis section contains a glossary of geometry terms from basic tocomplex. If the user selects the “Hint” button, one of the prod-

ucts is put into the correct box. In the Auto Advance Mode, theuser is penalized for getting a hint by losing possible points.Deliver It

Deliver It is a board game that requires using tools provided todetermine the area of various shapes. Students can use a Formula,Calculator, Estimator, or Measuring Tool. They can play againstthe computer or a friend.

As with any computer program, the benefits of The Factoryare derived from planning and inclusion of the program as part ofthe curriculum. The skills included in the program should betaught and progress monitored by the teacher. The computer is atool and should not be used as a reward for good behavior or fin-ishing early; its use should also not be restricted as a punishmentfor inappropriate behavior in the classroom.

Note: Adults and seniors are advised to keep their minds agileby doing puzzles and mindbender activities. This program wouldbe a natural to contribute to the process of exercising the brain. n

Windows Platform486Win 95/Win 98/Win ME/Win 2000/Win NT/Win XP

Macintosh Platform68040Mac 7.X/Mac 8.6/Mac 9.1Does not run on OS X. The OS X system opens Classic OS 9.

Information is available on the Sunburst website, www.sun-burst.com.

MARGE HOCTOR is a former Gifted And Talented Education(GATE) teacher, District Technology Supervisor, andCoordinator of K-12 Programs and Services (including GATE,Technology, School Libraries, and the Media Center) for alarge urban school district in California. She is Past Presidentof California Association for the Gifted (CAG) and currentlyChair of the CAG Technology Committee. She is co-author ofDeveloping Multimedia for the New Millennium, and is a con-sultant for the California Technology Assistance Project(CTAP). She can be reached at: [email protected].



B O O K R E V I E W

The Examined Life: AdvancedPhilosophy For Kids

By David A. White

(2005) Prufrock Press paperback, $27.95, 184 pp.

ISBN: 1-59363-008-5Grades 6–12

REVIEWED BY ELAINE WIENER

I felt wise and “with it” when I reviewed Dr. White’s last book,Philosophy For Kids, because he clearly laid out a path for teach-ing philosophy. He held our hands, page by page, giving us ques-tions guiding each page. He matched activities exemplified byeach philosopher described. The glossary and the bibliographywere gifts for the soul.

However, in The Examined Life, Dr. White has taken away ourcrutch. He is treating the reader like a gifted kid who no longerneeds the teacher for each step but may need guidance only at thehighest level. He is making us think…again!

This follow-up book is not for sissies. Teachers who buy thisbook should be teachers who are already experienced withPhilosophy For Kids and who have practiced teaching at that leveland that pace. The book says advanced, and advanced it is! If youare not teaching philosophy, you may simply want to buy this tochallenge your own mind.

The Examined Life is divided into three sections. “Part 1 pres-ents primary source readings that will encourage discussion anddebate; Part 2 offers easy-to-use activities that focus on the directapplication of philosophy to such areas as critical thinking, lan-guage, and the arts; and Part 3 offers a unique perspective just forteachers—-a philosophical look at how teachers can becomemore reflective philosophers themselves.”

As one element in the defense Socrates mustered at his trial(immortalized in Plato’s Apology), he appealed to the principal thatthe unexamined life is not worth living.

With that thought, you know that you ought to pay homageto anyone knowledgeable enough in today’s teaching world tomold our gifted children into such mature searching.

“David A. White has a doctorate in philosophy from theUniversity of Toronto and has taught philosophy in colleges anduniversities since 1967. He has written eight books and over 50articles in philosophy, literary criticism, and educational theory.”However, the best tribute to Dr. White is that he cares about ouryounger students (grades 6 to 12) as well as our young adults andbrings his expertise to them.

The additional readings in The Examined Life are so variedand appealing that they are partially printed here as added incen-tive:

Bradbury, R. (1953). Fahrenheit 451. New York: Ballentine.De Saint-Exupery, A. (1968). The little prince (K. Woods, Trans.)

New York: HarBrace.

Durant, W, J. (1991). The story of philosophy: The lives and opin-ions of the great philosophers (Rev.ed.) New York: Pocket.

Gaardner, J. (1966). Sophie’s world: A novel about the history ofphilosophy. New York: Berkeley Books.

Irwin, W. (Ed). (1999). Seinfeld and philosophy: A book abouteverything and nothing. Chicago: Open Court.

Irwin, W. (Ed.). (2002). The matrix and philosophy. Chicago:Open Court.

Rowling, J. K. (1997). Harry Potter and the sorcerer’s stone. NewYork: Scholastic.

Russell, B. (1959). The problems of philosophy. London: OxfordUniversity Press.

Silverstein, S. (1974). Where the sidewalk ends. New York: HarperCollins.

Smullyan, R. M. (1986) What is the name of this book? The Riddleof Dracula and other logical puzzles. New York: Simon &Schuster.

With each title there is a small fetching description thatentices one to reread some old wonderful classics. n

ELAINE S. WIENER is Associate Editor for Book Reviews forthe Gifted Education Communicator. She is retired from theGarden Grove Unified School District GATE program. She canbe reached at: [email protected].



Gifted Education CommunicatorInformation and practical solutions for parents and educators

GIFTED EDUCATION COMMUNICATOR is designed to be a practitioner’s journal—providing you

with the information and strategies to apply the theory, research, and best practices in the field.

Noted leaders and experienced parents address a broad range of themes and issues related to

educating and parenting the gifted. The high quality of articles has made the journal a highly

respected publication in the field of gifted education. You’ll find these regular features in each

issue of Gifted Education Communicator:

• Feature theme articles by national leaders in the field

• Parent-to-parent articles

• Hands-on curriculum

• National calendar

• Parent question column

• Educator question column…and more

UPCOMING THEMES: Fall–Interdisciplinary Studies; Winter–Middle School Gifted Programs; Spring–

Identification


NAME:Last First Middle Initial

PREFERRED MAILING ADDRESS:

CITY/STATE/COUNTRY/ZIP:

E-MAIL ADDRESS: PREFERRED PHONE: ( ) SCHOOL DISTRICT:

PAYMENT METHOD

nn Personal Check #: CHARGE: nn MasterCard nn Visa nn American Express

nn District Check: Card No.: Exp. Date

nn Purchase Order #: Signature:

Mail with check or charge information to California Association for the Gifted, 1215 K Street, Suite 940, Sacramento, CA 95814;Phone: 916-441-3999; e-mail: [email protected]; website: www.CAGifted.org

Yes!Please sign me up for a 1-year subscription $35— 4 issues of Gifted Education Communicator(for mailing addresses outside the U.S., please remit US $45)

SUBSCRIBE

NOW!


*GEComm Spring 06 cover2.qxd 3/8/07 10:11 AM Page 3

Nonprofit OrganizationU.S. Postage

PAIDWMS

1215 K StreetSuite 940Sacramento, CA 95814

MEMBERSHIP/SERVICE CATEGORY(for mailing addresses outside the U.S., add $15)

nn Individual ($65) nn Family ($75)nn Authorized Affiliate ($90)nn Patron ($500)nn Life ($1000)nn Institution ($65)nn Limited Income (attach documentation) ($25)nn Gifted Education Communicator

Subscription only ($35)(for mailing addresses outside the U.S., add $10)

ROLE

nn Administrator/Coordinatornn Board of Education Membernn Consultantnn Counselor/Psychologistnn Parentnn Teachernn Other

SPECIAL SKILLS/INTERESTS

nn Art/Musicnn Humanitiesnn Mathnn Sciencenn Computersnn Advocacy/Legislationnn Other

PAYMENT ENCLOSEDnn Personal Check #: CHARGE: nn MasterCard nn Visa nn American Express

nn District Check: Card No.: Exp. Date:

nn Purchase Order # Signature:

Mail with check or charge information to California Association for the Gifted, 1215 K Street, Suite 940 Sacramento, CA 95814; Phone: 916-441-3999; e-mail: [email protected]; website: www.CAGifted.org

If you are not already a CAG member, please use the application below to become a continuing supporter of gifted education. CAGis active in lobbying efforts to promote appropriate education for gifted and talented students and assigns $5.00 of each membershipto CAG/PAC, CAG’s Political Action Committee. Dues payments are not tax deductible as charitable contributions for federalincome tax purposes.

NAME:Last First Middle Initial

PREFERRED MAILING ADDRESS:

CITY/STATE/ZIP: CA COUNTY:

E-MAIL ADDRESS: PREFERRED PHONE: ( ) SCHOOL DISTRICT:

M E M B E R S H I P A P P L I C AT I O N

*GEComm Spring 06 cover2.qxd 3/8/07 10:11 AM Page 4

california association for the gifted gifted education

Documents