Act One

A number of senators are gathered in the imperial palace. Nervous. Theyve obviously been there for a while. Typical politicians -- they are self-interested and speak in cliches.

OCTAVIUS Still nothing.

THE OLD SENATOR Nothing last night, nothing this morning.

LUCIUS Nothing for three days.

THE OLD SENATOR Messages go out, messages come in. And always the same answer -- "Nothing."

LUCIUS Weve combed the whole countryside. Theres nothing more to be done.

OCTAVIUS Except wait. There's no point rushing to meet trouble halfway. Perhaps he'll return as abruptly as he left.

THE OLD SENATOR I saw him leave the palace. He had a strange look about him. OCTAVIUS So did I. In fact, I asked him if anything was wrong.

LUCIUS Did he answer?

OCTAVIUS One word -- "Nothing."

A short silence. Helicon (a liberated slave) enters. He is eating.

CASSIUS (nervously) It's all very disturbing.

OCTAVIUS Come on now! Someone his age always takes it hard.

THE OLD SENATOR True, but everything works out in the long run. For one girl dead, theres a dozen living ones. The woods are full of trees and the trees are full of birds.

HELICON Where did you get the idea that love has anything to do with it?

OCTAVIUS What else could it be?

HELICON Indigestion, perhaps. Or pure disgust at having to see you lot every day. If you could change your looks from time to time, he might find it easier to put up with all of you. But the menu never changes -- always the same old choice between sour rhubarb and stewed prunes.

OLD SENATOR I prefer to think it all started with love.

HELICON Because thats a sickness which spares no one, whether he be intelligent or an idiot.

OCTAVIUS Fortunately grief doesnt last forever. Are you capable of suffering for more than a year?

LUCIUS Not me.

OCTAVIUS No one could.

CASSIUS Life would he intolerable.

OCTAVIUS I lost my wife last year and at first I was in quite a state. Even now I feel a pang of grief at times. Still, life must go on.

THE OLD SENATOR Time heals all wounds. Nature has a way of arranging things. (a senator wheezes)

HELICON (Patting him on the back) Sometimes wonder if Nature is always so perfect.

Cherea (younger than the other senators, but a respected intellectual) enters.

CHEREA Well. . . ?

OCTAVIUS Nothing.

HELICON (sarcastically) Be calm Cherea, be calm. Lets keep up appearances. We, after all, are the Roman Empire.

OCTAVIUS I agree.

HELICON Worrying won't mend matters - and it's lunchtime.

CHEREA Everything was going too smoothly. This emperor was just too perfect.

LUCIUS He was just what we wanted: conscientious and inexperienced enough to take our advice.

OCTAVIUS He may go right on being the emperor weve known. He loved Drusilla but she was his sister after all. Sleeping with her was one thing. Still, to put all Rome in a turmoil because the girl has died is going too far. Lets hope his condition is only temporary.

CHEREA I dont like the look of it. His running away looks bad to me.

THE OLD SENATOR Yes, where there's smoke theres fire.

OCTAVIUS The interests of the State should prevent him from letting incest take on tragic proportions. These things happen, but quietly.

HELICON Incest always makes a little noise. The bed squeaks. Still, you cant be sure that Drusilla is the cause of all this trouble.

Scipio (younger than Caligula, one of his proteges) enters. Cherea goes toward him.

SCIPIO Still nothing. Some peasants think they saw him last night not far from Rome, but there was heavy rain. (Scipio follows Cherea back to the senators)

CHEREA Has it really been three days, Scipio?

SCIPIO Yes . . . I was there, following along with him. He went up to Drusilla's body. Stroked it with two fingers, and seemed lost in thought for a long while. Then he turned around and calmly walked out. Since then everyones been searching for him.

CHEREA He was too fond of bad poetry.

LUCIUS Thats typical ...

CHEREA Of his age, perhaps, but not of his rank. An emperor with artistic and intellectual inclinations is a contradiction in terms.

LUCIUS We've had one or two, of course. But theres misfits in every family. The others had the sense to remain good bureaucrats.

OCTAVIUS Things ran efficiently.

THE OLD SENATOR Shoemaker stick to your trade.

SCIPIO What can we do, Cherea?

CHEREA Nothing.

LUCIUS We can only wait. If he doesn't come back well find someone else. Theres no lack of leadership in this room.

(Helicon looks at Lucius and smirks maybe a discreet gesture)

CHEREA Suppose he comes back with the wrong attitude?

OCTAVIUS He's still a boy; we'll make him listen to reason.

OCTAVIUS (laughing) And if not, I once wrote a treatise on the coup detat.

CHEREA Perhaps I'll look that up. But I'd much prefer to be left to my own books.

SCIPIO I beg your pardon ... (Goes out.)

CHEREA We must have offended him.

THE OLD SENATOR Young people always stick up for each other.

HELICON Scipio is much too easily offended -- (Scipio returns abruptly)

SCIPIO Caligula has just been seen in the gardens

All leave the room. The stage is empty for a moment. Then Caligula enters stealthily. His legs are caked with mud, his clothes dirty; his hair is wet, his look distraught. He brings his hand to his mouth several times. Then he approaches a mirror, stopping abruptly when he catches sight of his reflected self. After muttering some unintelligible words, he sits, letting his arms hang limp between his knees. Helicon enters. On seeing Caligula, he stops and contemplates him in silence. Caligula turns and sees him. A short silence.

HELICON (across the stage) Good morning, Caius.

CALIGULA (in quite an ordinary tone) Good morning, Helicon. (a short silence)

HELICON You seem tired.

CALIGULA I've walked a lot.

HELICON Yes, you were away for quite a while. (another short silence)

CALIGULA It was hard to find.

HELICON What was?

CALIGULA What I wanted.

HELICON And what did you want?

CALIGULA (in the same matter-of-fact tone) The moon.

HELICON What?

CALIGULA I wanted the moon.

HELICON I see . . . (Another silence. Helicon approaches Caligula.) What for?

CALIGULA Well . . . it's one of the things I haven't got.

HELICON Right. And now everything is taken care of?

CALIGULA No. I couldn't get it.

HELICON Too bad.

CALIGULA Yes, that's why I'm tired. (Pauses. Then) You probably think I'm insane

HELICON You know I never think. Im much too intelligent for that.

CALIGULA ... But I'm not insane. In fact I've never been so lucid. Its just that I suddenly felt a desire for the impossible. (Pauses.) Things as they are dont strike me as satisfactory.

HELICON Thats a widespread opinion.

CALIGULA I suppose it is. But I didn't know it before. Now I know. (Still in the same matter-of-fact tone.) The world as it is is unbearable. That's why I need the moon, or happiness, or immortality, or something that may sound insane, but would help correct this world.

HELICON That sounds fine. But no one could ever act on it.

CALIGULA (rising to his feet, but still with perfect calmness) You know nothing about it. It's because no one dares to be logical and carry it through to its conclusion that nothing is ever achieved. (He studies Helicon's face.) I can see what you're thinking. What a fuss over the death of a woman! No, that's not it. I do recall that a few days ago a woman I loved died. But love is a side issue. Her death is no more than the symbol of a truth that makes the moon necessary to me. A childishly simple and obvious truth, a little stupid even, but hard to discover and harder to bear.

HELICON And what is this truth you've discovered, Caius?

CALIGULA (his eyes averted, in a toneless voice) People die. And they are not happy.

HELICON (after a short pause) Thats a truth we manage to live with Caligula. It doesn't prevent most Romans from enjoying their lunch.

CALIGULA (suddenly throws Helicon down violently) Thats because everyone around me is living a lie, and I want people to live with the truth. Remember, Helicon, I have the means of forcing them to live with the truth. They are deprived of knowledge and need a teacher who knows what he's talking about.

HELICON Don't take offense, Caius ... but shouldnt you have some rest. Everything else can wait.

CALIGULA (Sitting down. His voice is gentle again.) I cant rest, Helicon.

HELICON Why not?

CALIGULA If I sleep, who will give me the moon?

HELICON (after a short silence) That's true.

CALIGULA (hearing voices he rises again with an effort) Dont say a word Helicon and forget you've seen me.

HELICON I understand.

CALICULA (looking back, as he moves toward the door) And, could you help me from now on.

HELICON I've no reason not to do so, Caius. But I know very few things, and few things interest me. In what way can I help you?

CALIGULA In achieving the impossible.

Caligula goes out. Scipio and Caesonia (Caligulas beautiful courtesan) enter.

SCIPIO Have you seen him, Helicon?

HELICON No.

CAESONIA Tell me, Helicon. Are you sure he didn't confide anything to you before he went away?

HELICON I dont share his secrets. I'm merely his public. But, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for lunch. (Exit Helicon.)

CAESONIA (sits wearily) One of the guards saw him go by. But all Rome sees Caligula everywhere, while Caligula sees nothing but his own idea.

SCIPIO What idea?

CAESONIA How can I tell, Scipio?

SCIPIO Drusilla?

CAESONIA Perhaps. He did love her. And it's a cruel thing to see someone die today when you held her in your arms only yesterday.

SCIPIO (timidly) And you . . . ?

CAESONIA Oh, I'm the trusted mistress. That's my role.

SCIPIO Caesonia, we have to help him.

CAESONIA You love him too?

SCIPIO I dont know what it is. He encourages me with words that would sound ridiculous coming out of anyone elses mouth. "Life isn't easy, Scipio, but art or the love one inspires in others is all the consolation we need." He once told me that making others suffer was the only human crime. Ironic, isnt it? An emperor trying to be a just man.

CAESONIA (rising) He's just a child. (She goes to the mirror and scans herself.) My body is the only god I've ever known, and now I pray to this god of mine that Caius may be brought back to me.

Caligula enters. On seeing Caesonia and Scipio he hesitates, and takes a backward step. At the same moment several men enter from the opposite side of the room: senators and the Intendant of the palace. They stop short when they see Caligula. Caesonia turns. She and Scipio hurry toward Caligula, who checks them with a gesture.

INTENDANT (in a rather quavering voice) We . . . we've been looking for

you, Caesar, everywhere.

CALIGULA (in a changed, harsh tone) So I see.

INTENDANT We . . . I mean

CALIGULA (roughly) What do you want?

INTENDANT We were worried, Caesar.

CALIGULA (going toward him) Why were you worried?

INTENDANT Well . . er . . . (He has an inspiration.) Well, its the Treasury Board -- as you know, there are points that must be settled in connection with the new budget.

CALIGULA (bursting into laughter) Ah, yes. The Treasury. That's right. The Treasury's of prime importance.

INTENDANT Yes.

CALIGULA (still laughing, to Caesonia) Don't you agree, my dear?

CAESONIA No, Caligula. The budget is just a means to an end.

CALIGULA That just shows your ignorance! Of course, I do believe in equality! (To the bewildered intendant) Surely your attacks of arthritis are no less significant than the grandeur of Rome. (Not letting anyone get in a word edgeways) Still, Im extremely interested in fiscal integrity ... . Yes, thats something I can apply my mind to right away. And, to begin with . . . Now listen well, Intendant.

INTENDANT We are listening, sir.

The senators come forward.

CALIGULA You're our loyal subjects, are you not?

INTENDANT (in a reproachful tone) Oh, Caesar.

CALIGULA Well, Ive just devised a strategic plan. We're going to reform our whole economic system. In two moves. Drastic and abrupt. Ill have to explain ... in private. (All patricians but the intendant leave. Caligula collects himself and then assumes a statesman-like pose with his arm around Caesonias waist. Then, full of efficient energy) First phase: Every senator. Everyone in the Empire who has any capital, small or large it's all the same thing, is ordered to disinherit his children and make a new will leaving his money to the State.

INTENDANT But Caesar.

CALIGULA I'm not finished! Second phase: As the need arises, we shall announce the death of those individuals, following the order of a list drawn up arbitrarily. On occasion we may modify that order. Again, arbitrarily. (an insight) By lottery perhaps. And the Treasury shall inherit their money.

CAESONIA (freeing herself) What's come over you?

CALIGULA (imperturbably Of course the order of the executions is not of the slightest importance. (precisely) Or, rather, all these executions have an equal importance; from which it follows that none has any importance. Indeed, if you think about it, it is no more immoral to rob citizens directly, than to slip indirect taxes into the prices of the commodities they cannot do without. Governing amounts to robbing, as everyone knows. But there are different ways of going about it. As for me, I shall rob openly. That will be a change from you penny pinching politicians. (harshly to the Intendant, who has been trying to speak) This new economic policy will be proclaimed immediately and you are to ensure it's carried out. The wills are to be signed by residents in the capital this evening; within a month at the latest by persons in the provinces. Now, you dont have time to waste.

INTENDANT Caesar, you dont seem to realize . . .

CALIGULA Listen carefully, idiot. If a balanced budget has paramount importance, human life has none. That is self-evident. You of all people should admit the logic of my plan. Since money is the only thing that counts, you must cease to set any value on your life. I have resolved to be logical, and inasmuch as I have the

power, you will see what logic will cost you! I shall eliminate contradictions and contradictors. If necessary, I'll begin with you.

INTENDANT Caesar, my good will can be relied on, that I swear.

CALIGULA And I can guarantee mine too. Just see how ready I am to adopt your point of view, and consider the Treasury as an object of capital importance. You should be grateful to me for playing your game and with your own cards. (He pauses, before continuing in a flat, unemotional tone.) In any case, there is a touch of genius -- or should I say, common-sense -- in the simplicity of my plan, which clinches the matter. I give you three seconds in which to make yourself invisible. One...

INTENDANT But --

CALIGULA Two ... (the Indendant hurries out.)

CAESONIA Is this really you, Caligula? Was that supposed to be some kind of a joke?

CALIGULA Not exactly, Caesonia. Let's say it was a seminar in public administration.

SCIPIO But this isnt possible Caligula.

CALIGULA That's the point!

SCIPIO What do you mean?

CALIGULA I mean, Im concerned with the impossible, or rather with making possible the impossible.

SCIPIO Thats nothing more than the pastime of a lunatic.

CALIGULA No, Scipio. Its the vocation of an emperor. (He lets himself sit down, wearily) I've finally understood the uses of power. It gives the impossible a chance. From now on my freedom will not be limited by convention.

CAESONIA (sadly) I doubt if this discovery of yours will make us any happier.

CALIGULA Perhaps not. But it might make us more profound. (Cherea enters.)

CHEREA Ive just heard of your return. I trust your health is all it should be. CALIGULA My health thanks you. (A pause. Then, abruptly)Now, go away Cherea. I don't want to see you.

CHEREA Im bewildered Caius.

CALIGULA Dont be. I dont like intellectuals. They talk in order not to hear themselves. If they listened to themselves, they would know that they are nothing and then they couldnt talk. Therefore, Im dismissing you. I hate liars.

CHEREA If we lie, it's often without knowing it. I plead not guilty.

CALIGULA Lying is always guilty. And your kind of deception is unforgiveable. It gives people a pumped-up sense of importance.

CHEREA Since this world is the only one we have, why not plead its cause?

CALIGULA No plea is necessary. The verdict's given: humanity has no special place in this world and whoever realizes that wins his freedom. (rising) You are not free. I alone am free. Rejoice, for you finally have an emperor to teach you freedom. Go away, Cherea, and you, too, Scipio. Go and spread the good news to all Romans.

They go out. Caligula has turned away, hiding his eyes.

CAESONIA Youre crying. But what's really changed in your life? You may have loved Drusilla, but you loved others, myself included, at the same time. Surely that wasn't enough to set you roaming the countryside for three days and nights and bring you back with this . . . this cruel look on your face?

CALIGULA (turning round to her) Why drag Drusilla into this? Cant you imagine a person shedding for anything other than love?

CAESONIA I'm sorry, Caius. I was only trying to understand.

CALIGULA Men cry because the world's all wrong. (She starts to embrace him.) No, Caesonia. (She draws back.) But stay beside me.

CAESONIA Whatever you want. (Sits down.) Im no baby. I know that life's sometimes a sad business. But why deliberately set out to make it worse?

CALIGULA You can't understand. But that doesnt matter. Perhaps I'll find a way out. Only I feel the stirrings of nameless creatures within me, forcing their way up into the light - and I'm helpless against them. (He moves closer to her, but doesnt see her) I knew people felt anguish, but I didn't know what the word meant. Like everyone else I imagined it was the soul that suffered. But it's my body that's in pain. Everywhere. In my chest, in my legs and arms. Even my skin is raw, my head is buzzing, I feel like vomiting. But worst of all is this grotesque taste in my mouth. Not blood, nor death, nor fever, but a mixture of all three. All I have to do is to stir my tongue for everything to become black and for human beings to revolt me.

CAESONIA What you need is a good, long sleep. And stop thinking. Our thoughts run crazy when were exhausted. I'll lie with you. When you wake, you'll find the world's got back its flavor. Then you must use your power for loving better what there is still to love. For the possible, too, deserves to be given a chance.

CALIGULA What use is my power, Caesonia, if I can't have the sun set in the east, if I can't eliminate suffering and keep human beings from dying? If I cant change the order of the world, it doesnt matter whether I sleep or stay awake.

CAESONIA (sharply, impatiently) But that's insanity. It's wanting to be a god on earth, and no matter how those flabby politicians represent you to the masses thats impossible.

CALIGULA So I'm mad to want a kingdom where the impossible rules?

CAESONIA (pressing, almost cutting him off) You can't prevent the sky from being the sky, or a fresh young face from aging, or a man's heart from growing cold.

CALIGULA (with rising excitement) I want . . . I want to drown the sky in the sea, to see the beauty in ugliness, to wring a laugh from pain.

CAESONIA (facing him with an imploring gesture) There's good and evil, high and low, justice and injustice. I can assure you that will never change.

CALIGULA (in the same tone) Its my will to change that. I shall give this age the gift of equality. And when everything is leveled out, when the impossible has come to earth and the moon is in my hands -- then, perhaps, the world will be truly transformed, then perhaps there will be no more death and men will be happy.

CAESONIA (with a cry) And what about love? Youll level that out too?

CALIGULA Living, Caesonia, is the opposite of loving! (He grips her shoulders and shakes her.) I've learned the truth about life -- and now I invite you to the most gorgeous of shows, a sight for gods to gloat on, a whole world put on trial. But for that I must have a crowd -- spectators, victims, criminals, hundreds and thousands of them. (He rushes to the gong and hammers it once) Let the accused come forward. I want my criminals, and they all are criminals. (Strikes the gong again) Bring in the condemned men. I must have my public. Judges, witnesses, accused -- all sentenced to death without a hearing. Yes, Caesonia, I'll show them something they have never seen before, the one free man in the Roman Empire. (To the clangor of the gong the palace has been gradually filling with approaching people. Caligula poses with Caesonia on the floor

beneath him) And you, Caesonia, shall obey me. You must stand by me to the end. It will be marvelous, you'll see. Swear to stand by me, Caesonia.

CAESONIA I needn't swear. You know I love you.

CALIGULA You'll do everything I tell you.

CAESONIA Everything, anything Caligula -- but please, stop.

CALIGULA You will be cruel.

CAESONIA (sobbing) Cruel.

CALIGULA Cold and ruthless.

CAESONIA Ruthless.

CALIGULA And you will suffer, too.

CAESONIA Yes, yes ... no, please, . . . I'm going as mad you! (Some senators enter, followed by members of the palace staff. All look bewildered and perturbed. Caligula bangs the gong for the last time, raises his mallet, swings round and summons them in a shrill, half-crazy voice.)

CALIGULA Come here. All of you. Nearer. Nearer still. (He is quivering with impatience.) Your Emperor commands you to come nearer.(They come forward, pale with terror.) Quickly. And you, Caesonia, come beside me. (He takes her hand, leads her to the mirror, and with a sudden wild sweep of his mallet smashes the mirror. Everyone recoils. The whole set is covered with reflected images of the cracked mirror. Caligula laughs) All gone. You see, my dear? An end of memories; no more masks. Nothing, nobody left. Nobody? No, that's not true. Look, Caesonia. Come here, all of you, and look. (He plants himself in front of the mirror and takes the pose of a crazy man.)

CAESONIA (staring, horrified, at the mirror) Caligula!

CALIGULA (His gaze steadies abruptly and then turns slowly to the crowd/audience. They are as shocked as Caesonia. When he speaks his voice has a new, proud ardor.)

CALIGULA Yes . . . Caligula.

ACT TWO

Three years later. A room in Cherea's house, where the senators have met in secret.

OCTAVIUS He insults our dignity.

THE OLD SENATOR Death's too good for someone who calls me "darling" in public!

OCTAVIUS Every evening we have to jog behind his carriage when he goes out into the country.

LUCIUS The exercise will do us good, he says.

THE OLD SENATOR Theres no excuse for it.

CASSIUS No, he cant be forgiven.

OCTAVIUS He confiscated your property, Patricius. He killed your father, Scipio. He's taken your wife from you, Lucius, and forced her to work in his new public brothel. Cassius, he killed your son. I dont know about you but Ive made my choice. Between the risk we have to take and this unbearable life in helpless fear, I cannot hesitate. Can you still hesitate?

CASSIUS We're with you! He gives away our private boxes at the stadium to the rabble and eggs us on to fight with them -- just to have a pretext for punishing us later.

THE OLD SENATOR He's a coward.

LUCIUS A bully.

CASSIUS A buffoon.

THE OLD SENATOR He's impotent -- I say that's his trouble.

Confusion follows as there is a general rush to exclaim indignation and the necessity to act. Cherea strolls in, composed as usual.

CHEREA How energetic youve all become. Do you think the palace will welcome such an unruly mob. I assume thats your next stop.

OCTAVIUS We dont plan to ask permission to enter.

CHEREA May I have permission to sit down in my own house? (Cherea moves toward a seat studying the others) It's not so simple as you think, my friends. This is all too premature.

CASSIUS If you're not with us, leave us, but keep your mouth shut.

CHEREA Oh I think I'm with you, but not for the same reasons.

CASSIUS Weve talked enough!

CHEREA (standing up) Maybe, but youre rushing to your destruction because you haven't recognized the nature of your true enemy.

CASSIUS We see him for what he is, all right -- a crazy tyrant.

CHEREA No. We've had experience of mad emperors. But this one isn't mad enough. He knows exactly what he wants.

OCTAVIUS He wants the death of every one of us.

CHEREA Thats just secondary. Caligula is frightening because he's putting his power at the service of a deadlier passion. Losing my life is no small matter, but seeing it drained of meaning -- that is unbearable! No one can live without justification.

OCTAVIUS Revenge is justification.

CHEREA Yes, and Ill share it with you. But I've got no interest in avenging your petty humiliations. I intend to fight against an ideal. Caligula is converting his philosophy into corpses and, unfortunately for us, it is an irrefutable philosophy. Where one cannot refute, one must strike.

CASSIUS Act now, then!

CHEREA Fine, we must act. But an imperial madman at the height of his power cannot be attacked head-on. Use a little of his own cunning.Encourage his dispassionate evil and bide your time until its logic founders in sheer lunacy. Im being quite honest with you. Afterwards, I wont serve any of your interests. What spurs me on is not ambition but the fear of an inhuman dream in which my life any life counts as nothing.

OCTAVIUS (approaching him) I think I have more or less grasped your point. But the important thing is that you, too, feel that the whole fabric of our society is threatened. For me -- and I think you will all agree --

it is first of all a question of right and wrong. Family life is breaking down, respect for honest work is lost. Can we refuse to hear the appeal of traditional values in this hour of danger?

ALL No!

OCTAVIUS Will you tolerate a state of things in which we are forced to run, like slaves, beside Caligulas carriage?

ALL No!

THE OLD SENATOR Are you willing to be addressed as "darling"?

LUCIUS And have your wives snatched away?

CASSIUS Your money too?

ALL TOGETHER No! (Mereias "No" ends in an asthmatic wheeze and nearly collapses)

OCTAVIUS Cherea, youve given us good advice. We should calm down and take care not to act precipitously. The masses would still be against us. Lets track public opinion. But when the time is ripe, Cherea, will you join hands with us, and strike hard?

CHEREA (Slowly shakes his head, yes) In the meantime, though, let Caligula follow his dream. We must even encourage his wildest plans. Help organize his madness. Then one day, he will stand alone facing an Empire peopled only by the dead and relatives of the dead.

OCTAVIUS Alright, gentlemen, we stand prepared!

A general uproar. Then silence, but for whispers of a name: "Caligula!" Caligula enters with Caesonia, followed by Helicon and some soldiers. Pantomime. Caligula halts and gazes at the conspirators. Without a word he moves from one to the other, straightens a buckle on one man's shoulder, steps back to contemplate another, sweeps them with his gaze, then draws his hand over his eyes and walks out, still without a word.

CAESONIA (Ironically, pointing to the disorder of the room) Were you having a fight?

CHEREA Yes, we were fighting.

CAESONIA Really. Why were you fighting?

CHEREA No reason at all.

CAESONIA Then it isn't true.

CHEREA What isn't true?

CAESONIA You were not fighting.

CHEREA Have it your own way, then. We were not fighting.

CAESONIA (smiling) Perhaps you'd better tidy up the place. Caligula hates disorder. HELICON You dont want to make him step out of character.

THE OLD SENATOR But . . . I don't understand. What have we done to him?

HELICON Nothing, and thats just it. Youre so incredibly unimportant -- boring enough to get on anybody's nerves. Just put yourselves in Caligula's place. (A short pause.) Of course, you were doing a bit of plotting, weren't you?

THE OLD SENATOR That's too absurd. How could Caligula ever think that?

HELICON He doesn't think that. He knows that. But then I suppose thats what he really wants. Come on now, lets tidy up. (Caligula enters and watches them)

CALIGULA (to the Old senator) Good morning, darling. (to the others) Cherea, Ive decided to have a little lunch in your house. Lucius, I allowed myself to invite your wife. (the servants who came in with Caligula start to uncover the food). Just a moment! Gentlemen, you are well aware that the finances of the State have held up only out of habit and now habit itself has collapsed. Consequently, I feel the unpleasant necessity of reducing my staff. In a spirit of sacrifice that I am sure you will appreciate, I have decided to cut my own expenses, to free several slaves, and to assign you to my service. Please set the table and serve it. (The senators look uneasily at each other) Come on, put your minds to it! Public administrators should be able to develop an efficient system. (To Helicon) It seems to me, theyre out of practice.

HELICON To tell the truth, they never were in practice, except to give orders or complain about those they order about. Youll have to patient, thats all. It takes a day to make an administrator and ten years to make a skilled worker.

CALIGULA But Im afraid it will take twenty years to make a skilled worker out of an administrator.

HELICON Nevertheless, theyre showing progress. If you ask me, they have a talent for it. Slavery suits them. Look, they are even beginning to sweat. Thats a step in the right direction.

CALIGULA Yes, theyre not so bad after all. However, we shall have to hurry; I have an appointment at an execution. (The senators freeze with fear). Rufius should thank his lucky stars that I've been seized with hunger. (Confidentially) Rufius is the general who is to die. (short pause) Doesnt anyone want to know why he is going to die? (No one speaks.) Good for you! I see you're growing quite intelligent. You have realized that it is not necessary for a human being to have done anything in order to die. (He stops eating and gazes at his guests with a twinkle in his eye.) My loyal troops, I am proud of you. Dont you agree Helicon? (Looks at the guests roguishly)

HELICON A formidable army indeed, Caius. But if you ask my opinion, they are getting too intelligent to want to fight. If they make any more progress, the Empire is lost!

CALIGULA Oh well, lets relax. Just sit anywhere. Mingle. Dont pay any attention to rank today. (All are seated, music is playing. Grotesquely forced party atmosphere) There's no denying that Rufius is a lucky man. But I wonder if he appreciates this short reprieve. Nothing is more precious than a few hours grace when death is waiting. (He begins eating; the others follow suit. Caligula's table manners are deplorable. Suddenly he stops and stares at one of the guests) Cassius, you seem in a bad mood. Is it because I had your son killed?

CASSIUS (with a lump in his throat) Not at all, Caius, quite the contrary.

CALIGULA (beaming at him) "Quite the contrary!" It's always nice to see a face that hides the secrets of the heart. Your face is sad, but your heart? Quite the contrary, wouldnt you say, Cassius?

CASSIUS(doggedly) Quite the contrary, Caesar.

CALIGULA (more and more enjoying the situation) Cassius, there's no one I like better than you. Let us laugh together, shall we? Tell me a funny story.

CASSIUS (who has overrated his endurance) Please ...

CALIGULA All right, all right. Ill tell you one then. But you will laugh, wont you, Cassius? (with a glint of malice) If only for the your second sons sake. (Smiling again.) Besides, you've just said you're not in a bad mood. (He takes a drink, then says in the tone of a teacher prompting a pupil.) Quite . . . quite the ...

CASSIUS (wearily) Quite the contrary, Caesar.

CALIGULA Im glad. (Drinks again.) Just listen, now. (In a gentle, dreamy tone) Once upon a time there was a poor young emperor whom no one loved. He, loving Cassius, had Cassius younger son put to death to remove that love from his heart. (In a different manner) Needless to say, thats not true. Still it's a funny story, isnt it? But you're not laughing. No one is laughing? Now listen! (in a burst of anger) I want everyone to laugh. (he gives a horrible cackling laugh). My army of senators. Caligulas advisory committee. CAC (he

bangs on a table, and in a travesty of laughter) Cac! Cac! Cac! Cac! (no one moves) Stand up, every one of you and laugh. Cassius will lead (He pounds the table violently.) Do -- what -- I -- say. Cac! Cac! Cac! Cac!. (Cassius rises and painfully forces the laughter until it verges on weeping. Caligula looks at Octavius who rises and starts to laugh, then at Lucius, until all the senators are on their feet executing a horrifying loud, mechanical travesty of laughter. Caligula has jumped up on a table and conducts them, like an orchestra leader, in a series of staccato laughs which rise in intensity -- Cac, Cac, Cac. Cac, Cac, Cac. Cac! Cac! Cac! During this scene all the players, Caligula and Caesonia excepted, behave like marionettes in a puppet play. Suddenly, he stops them abruptly with a conductors gesture and sinks back on his couch, with Caesonia, beaming with delight, and bursts into a fit of natural laughter.) Oh, Caesonia! Just look at them! Ive rolled the dice and what do you see. Decency, respectability, regard for public opinion, everything has ceased to have any meaning. The wind of fear has blown them all away. What a noble emotion fear is, Caesonia, pure and unalloyed and disinterested, one of the few to derive its nobility from the guts. (In a friendly tone) Let's change the subject. What do you have to say, Cherea? You've been very silent.

CHEREA I'm quite ready to speak, Caius, as soon as you give me permission.

CALIGULA Excellent. Keep quiet then. I'd rather hear from our friend Lucius.

LUCIUS (reluctantly) As you wish, Caius.

CALIGULA Then tell us something about your lovely, young wife. Send her over to me. (Lucius' wife clings to her husband, but Caesonia takes her and leads her over to Caligula. All the while looking at Lucius, he unbuttons the front of her dress with great deliberation and thrusts his hand in.) Well, Lucius? Cats got your tongue?.

LUCIUS (hardly knowing what he says) My wife . . . Why, I love her.

Embarrassed laughter from the senators.

CALIGULA Of course, my friend, of course. But thats so ordinary. (He is leaning toward her, tickling her shoulder playfully with his tongue. She is white with fear.) By the way, when I came in just now, you were plotting, weren't you? Indulging in a sleazy little plot?

OLD SENATOR Caius, how can you . . . ?

CALIGULA Its not at all important, darling. Old age will have its flings. I won't take it seriously. None of you are capable of a courageous act. (Helicon whispers in his ear) It has just occurred to me that I have a political decision of some importance to make. But first, I must answer the overwhelming desires prompted by nature.

Caligula crosses to leave but realizes that Luciuss wife remains where she was. He motions to her with a little finger and stays where he is. She looks to Lucius but he averts his eyes as Caesonia again leads her over to Caligula. Lucius starts to move, but Helicon moves his hand to his weapon and stops him.

CAESONIA (amiably making conversation) Oh, Lucius, please pour me another glass of this excellent wine. (Lucius complies) Now, Cherea, suppose you tell me why you were fighting a moment ago?

CHEREA (coolly) Our quarrel arose, Caesonia, from a discussion about whether poetry is dead.

CAESONIA An interesting question. Its beyond my limited intelligence, of course, but Im surprised that your passion for art should lead you to blows.

CHEREA Indeed. But Caligula used to tell me that there is no true passion without a touch of cruelty.

HELICON Nor any love without a touch of rape.

CAESONIA (eating) There's some truth in that. Don't you all agree?

THE OLD SENATOR Yes. Caligula has rare pyschological insight.

OCTAVIUS He spoke eloquently of courage.

CASSIUS He should write up his ideas. The book would be most instructive.

CHEREA And, what's more, it would keep him busy, because its obvious he needs distractions.

CAESONIA (still eating) You'll be delighted to hear that he shares your views. At the moment he is working on a book. Quite a big one, I believe.

Caligula enters, accompanied by Lucius' wife.

CALIGULA Lucius, I return your wife with many thanks. But youll have to excuse me, I have such a busy schedule. (wearily) So many orders to give.

He hurries out. Lucius has gone pale and risen to his feet.

CAESONIA (to Lucius, who is standing) Believe me Lucius, this book will be the first of numerous classics. Are you listening, Lucius?

LUCIUS (his eyes still fixed on the door by which Caligula went out) Yes. And what's the book about, Caesonia?

CAESONIA (indifferently) Oh, it's beyond me.

CHEREA Then we must assume it deals with the deadly power of poetry?

CAESONIA Thats just it, I think.

THE OLD SENATOR (cheerfully) Well, that will keep him busy, as Cherea said.

CAESONIA Yes, darling. But I'm afraid you won't be too pleased with the books title.

CHEREA What is it?

CAESONIA "The Axe Falls." (Caligula hurries in.)

CALIGULA Excuse me, but I've just made an executive decision ( To the Intendant) Intendant, you are to close the public granaries. I have signed a decree to that effect; you will find it in my study.

INTENDANT But, sir ...

CALIGULA Famine begins tomorrow.

INTENDANT But the masses will protest.

CALIGULA (firmly and sharply) I repeat -- the famine begins tomorrow. Everybody knows famine. Its a national disaster. Well, tomorrow the disaster begins. And I shall stop it when I feel like it. After all, there are only so many ways of proving that Im free. One is always free at someone else's expense. Absurd perhaps, but thats just the way it is. (With a keen glance at Lucius) Apply this principle to your jealousy and you'll understand better. (In a meditative tone) Still, what an ugly thing is jealousy! A disease of vanity and the imagination. To picture one's wife with her lips wrapped . . . (Pause) Gentlemen, let's not forget our dinner. Did you know that Helicon and I have been working hard at some research? Were putting the finishing touches to an instructional booklet on execution, which Im sure will interest you.

HELICON Assuming we ask your opinion.

CALIGULA We should be generous, Helicon, and consult with them. Lets get their advice on section III, first paragraph.

HELICON (standing, declaims in a droning voice) "Execution relieves and liberates. Capital punishment is a universal tonic, and just, both in application and in theory. The individual is guilty because he is a subject of Caligula. But everyone is a subject of Caligula, hence everyone is guilty. Therefore it follows that everyone dies. Its merely a matter of time and patience."

CALIGULA (laughing) Well, what do you think? That bit about patience was a nice touch wasn't it? Allow me to tell you, that's the quality I most admire in you. Now, you lot can leave. But you stay, Caesonia. You too, Cassius and Octavius. Mereia too. I want to have a little talk with you about the administration of our National Brothel. I'm quite concerned about it. (The others file out slowly.)

CHEREA What's the trouble, Caius? Is the staff inadequate?

CALIGULA No, but the profits are falling off.

MEREIA The prices will have to be raised.

CALIGULA Mereia, you have just missed a golden opportunity to keep your mouth shut. You're too old to be interested in this subject, and I don't want your opinion.

MEREIA Then why ask me to stay?

CALIGULA In a view moments I shall need some cool, dispassionate advice. (Mereia moves away.)

CHEREA I may be speaking too passionately, Caius, but raising the prices would certainly enhance the prestige of the Brothel.

CALIGULA Nonsense! What's needed is a bigger turnover. I've explained my new initiative to Caesonia, and she will outline it for you. I've had too much wine and Im beginning to feel sleepy. (He lies down and closes his eyes.)

CAESONIA It's very simple. Caligula is creating a brand new decoration. It will be called the Badge of Civic Merit and awarded to those who have diligently patronized Caligula's National Brothel.

CHEREA Thats brilliant!

CAESONIA I think so. Anyway, the badges will be awarded each month after checking the admission tickets. Any citizen who has not won a badge within twelve months will be exiled or executed.

CHEREA Why "or executed"?

CAESONIA Caligula says it doesn't matter which -- but it's important he should retain the right to decide.

CHEREA Pure genius! The Treasury will wipe out its debt in no time.

HELICON And note that everythings done in the most moral way. After all, it is better to tax vice than to ransom virtue.

Caligula has half opened his eyes and is watching old Mereia who, standing

in a corner, has produced a small flask and is sipping its contents.

CALIGULA (still lying on the couch) What's that you're drinking, Mereia?

MEREIA It's for my asthma, Caius.

CALIGULA (rises, and thrusting the others aside, goes up to Mercia and sniffs his mouth) No, it's an antidote.

MEREIA Not at all, Caius! You must be joking. I have fits of choking during the

night and I've been taking this doctor's prescription for months.

CALIGULA So, you're afraid of being poisoned?

MEREIA My asthma --

CALIGULA Why beat about the bush? You're afraid I'll poison you. You suspect me. You're keeping an eye on me.

MEREIA By heavens, no!

CALIGULA You suspect me. I'm not to be trusted, am I?

MEREIA Caius!

CALIGULA (harshly) Answer me! (In a cool, judicial tone) Since you are taking an antidote, you obviously think I intend to poison you.

MEREIA Yes . . . I mean . . . no!

CALIGULA And since you think that I have decided to poison you, you are doing all you can to frustrate my plans to restructure Rome. That makes two crimes, plus an alternative from which you can't escape. Either I had no intention of causing your death, in which case you are unjustly suspecting me, your emperor. Or else I do desire your death, in which case, vermin that you are, you're trying to thwart my will.(Pause. Caligula contemplates the old man .) Well, Mereia, is my reasoning sound?

MEREIA Its water-tight, Caius. But it doesn't apply to the case.

CALIGULA Ah, you take me for a fool. Defaming the character of your emperor. Thats a third crime. Listen carefully. Of these three crimes only one of them is a credit to you, the second one -- because the moment you attribute a decision to me and oppose it, that implies revolt. You are therefore a leader of men, a revolutionary. That is courageous. (sadly) I'm fond of you, Mereia. Thats why you'll be condemned for crime number two, and not for either of the others. You shall die like a man for having rebelled. (While he talks Mereia is shrinking together on his chair.) Don't thank me. Thats not necessary. Here. (Holds out a phial. His tone is amiable.) Drink this poison.(Mereia shakes his head. He is sobbing violently. Caligula shows signs of impatience.) Don't waste time. Take it. (Mereia makes a feeble attempt to escape. But Caligula with a wild leap is on him, catches him in the center of the stage and after a brief struggle pins him down on a low couch. He forces the phial between his lips and smashes it with a blow of his fist. After some convulsive movements Mereia dies. His face is streaming with blood and tears. Caligula rises, wipes his hands absent-mindedly, then hands Mereia's flask to Caesonia.) What was it? An antidote?

CAESONIA (calmly) No, Caligula. Asthma medicine.

CALIGULA (A short pause, gazing down at Mereia) No matter. It all comes to the same thing in the end. A little sooner, a little later. . . (He goes out hurriedly, still wiping his hands, Helicon follows him).

CASSIUS (horrified) What shall we do?

CAESONIA (coolly) Remove that body to begin with. It's gross and ugly.

CASSIUS (to Cherea, as he lifts up the body with Cherea and Cassius) We must act quickly.

CHEREA Well need at least a hundred. (They drag the body into the wings.)

Young Scipio enters. Seeing Caesonia, he makes as if to leave.

CAESONIA Come here.

SCIPIO What do you want?

CAESONIA Nearer. (She pushes up his chin and looks him in the eyes. Pause. Coldly) He killed your father, didn't he?

SCIPIO Yes.

CAESONIA And you hate him?

SCIPIO Yes.

CAESONIA You want to kill him?

SCIPIO Yes.

CAESONIA But why tell me?

SCIPIO Killing him or being killed. Both are ways out of this. Besides, you won't betray me.

CAESONIA Youre right. I wont betray you. But Id like to tell you something -- to speak to the best in you.

SCIPIO Youll be talking to my hatred then.

CAESONIA Just listen. First, try to imagine your father's death. His agonized face as they were tearing out his tongue. Think of that mouth filled with blood and of his screaming like a tortured animal. (SCIPIO is stunned. CAESONIA grabs him and looks directly into his face) Listen: now think of Caligula and try to understand him. (She exits. Scipio just stands there).

HELICON (Entering) Run along, my little poet.

SCIPIO I need your help, Helicon.

HELICON (Moving away) Too dangerous. And poetry is a closed book to me. Now get going, Caligula will be here in a moment.

SCIPIO You know so much.

HELICON I know that time passes and that growing boys shouldnt miss a meal. I also know youre capable of killing Caligula . . . and that he wouldn't be averse to you doing it.

Helicon goes out. Caligula enters.

CALIGULA Ah, it's you, Scipio. (He pauses, seeming embarrassed.) I havent seen you in a long time. (Slowly approaches Scipio.) What have you been up to? Still writing, I suppose.

SCIPIO (with his back to Caligula; ill at ease, torn between hatred and some less defined emotion) I have written a few poems, Caesar.

CALIGULA About what?

SCIPIO Oh, on nothing in particular. Well, on Nature in a way.

CALIGULA A fine theme. And a vast one. What has Nature done for you though?

SCIPIO (pulling himself together, ironically and defiantly) She consoles me for not being Caesar.

CALIGULA Ah, and do you think she could console me for being Caesar?

SCIPIO (in the same tone) Why not? Nature has cured deeper infections than that.

CALIGULA (in a curiously young, unaffected voice) Infections? I detect malice in your voice. Because I put killed your father? . . . (in a different tone) Well, well, there's nothing like hatred for developing intelligence.

SCIPIO (stiffly) I answered your question.

Caligula takes the young man's face between his hands.

CALIGULA Recite your poem to me, please.

SCIPIO No.

CALIGULA Why not?

SCIPIO I dont have it with me.

CALIGULA Can't you remember it?

SCIPIO No.

CALIGULA Tell me at least what's in it.

SCIPIO (still hostile; moves toward Caligula in spite of himself) It speaks of --

CALIGULA Well?

SCIPIO No, I cant --

CALIGULA Try --

SCIPIO It speaks of a . . . a certain harmony .

CALIGULA (breaking in; in a pensive voice) . . . between one's feet and the earth.

SCIPIO (looking surprised) Yes, it's almost that.

CALIGULA Go on.

SCIPIO And it tells of the silhouette of the Roman hills and the sudden thrill of peace that twilight brings to them --

CALIGULA -- of the sharp cries of swallows winding through the green dusk.

SCIPIO (yielding more and more to his emotion) Yes! And that precarious moment when the sky all flushed with red and gold swings round and shows its other side, spangled with stars.

CALIGULA The faint smell of trees, of wood smoke mingling with the rising night mist.

SCIPIO (completely won over) And the chirr of crickets, the coolness veining the warm air, the rumble of last carts and the farmers' calling, dogs barking --

CALIGULA And the roads drowned in shadows curving through the aromatic olive groves.

SCIPIO That's just it . . . But how did you know it in all the detail?

CALIGULA (drawing Scipio to his breast) Im not sure! Perhaps because we love the same things.

SCIPIO (not quite knowing how to respond to Caligula) Everything I feel or think of, seems to turn to love.

CALIGULA (stroking his hair) Such transparent innocence, Scipio! Thats why you cant understand my own appetite for life. You belong to another world. You are as good as I am evil.

SCIPIO I do understand.

CALIGULA No. There's something hidden in me -- a pool of silence matted with rotting weeds. (With an abrupt change of manner) Your poem sounds very beautiful. But if you really want my opinion ...

SCIPIO (his head on Caligula's breast, murmurs) Yes?

CALIGULA Its all quite . . . anemic.

SCIPIO (Recoils abruptly, as if stung by a serpent; then gazes horrified, at Caligula) Leading me on as always. And now you're just some predator gloating over its kill.

CALIGULA (with a hint of sadness) There is some truth in what you say. I have been pretending.

SCIPIO (in the same tone) It must be torture to put up with that cancer in your heart.

CALIGULA (gently) That's enough.

SCIPIO You sicken me but I pity you more!

CALIGULA (angrily) Enough!

SCIPIO And I just realized how horribly lonely you!

CALIGULA (in a rush of anger, gripping the boy by the collar, and shaking him) Lonely! What do you know of it? The loneliness of teenage poets and impotent men. You babble away, but you don't realize that one is never alone. The same load of the future and the past crushes us all. Those we have killed are always with us. But they are no great trouble. It's those we have loved, those who loved us and whom we did not love; regrets, desires, bitterness and sweetness, whores and gods, the celestial gang! Always, always with us! (He releases Scipio and moves back to his former place.) Alone! If only in this ghoul-haunted wilderness of mine, I could enjoy real silence with only the rustling of a tree!(Sitting down and suddenly weary.) Solitude? No, Scipio, mine is full of gnashings of teeth, hideous with jarring sounds and voices. And lying beside any woman I caress, as night closes over us and my body is finally satisfied, when I hope to find myself poised between life and death even then my solitude is fouled by the stale smell of pleasure from the woman still moaning at my side.

A long silence. Caligula seems weary and despondent. Scipio moves behind him and approaches hesitantly. He slowly stretches out a hand toward him, from behind, and lays it on his shoulder. Without looking round, Caligula places his hand on Scipio's.

SCIPIO Everyone has some secret consolation in life. Have you nothing of the kind? Nothing to which you can turn? No refuge, no mood that makes the tears well up?

CALIGULA Yes I do.

SCIPIO What is it?

CALIGULA (Pause. Caligula pushes Scipios hand off his shoulder. Slowly and deliberately) Scorn.

Act Three

A room in the imperial palace. Before the lights come up, music and noise can be heard, and when they come up we see a small stage on the stage. On it are Caesonia and Helicon. Seated with their backs to the audience are the senators and young Scipio. Helicon and Caesonia run the show like a combination of fairground, Nazi rally, evangelical meeting and pagan ceremony.

HELICON Step up! Step up! One and all! Step up! Once more a god walks the earth in the human form of our emperor known as Caligula. Rise up, you mortals of common clay and witness a holy miracle with your own eyes. Through a favor reserved for the blessed reign of Caligula, divine secrets will be revealed to all. (Cymbals.)

CAESONIA Come, gentlemen. Come and adore him -- and don't forget your charitable donations. Today heaven and its mysteries are on show, at a price to suit every bank account. (cymbals)

HELICON See Olympus naked! The whole intimate truth. Revelations in high places! (Cymbals.)

CAESONIA Worship him! Throw your money to him. Quick, quick, gentlemen. The show is about to begin. (Cymbals.)

HELICON A sensational reincarnation of truth. An epoch-making production with breathtaking effects (light effects) and music to lift the soul. (music) See fate with your own eyes (over the music) -- a triumph of the will!

Caesonia and Helicon pose. Costumed religious worshippers appear and dance to the music -- around Caesonia and Helicon, and occasionally abusing the worshipping patricians. The music stops suddenly and two dancers draw aside a curtain to reveal Caligula. He is beaming through a female mask, blonde curls and golden breast cones.

CALIGULA (amiably) I'm Venus today.

CAESONIA Now for the adoration. Bow down. (All but Scipio bend their heads.) And repeat after me the litany of Venus-Caligula.

"Our Lady of pain and pleasure

THE SENATORS "Our Lady of pains and pleasures

CAESONIA "Born of the waves, bitter and bright with seafoam

THE SENATORS "Born of the waves, bitter and bright with seafoam

CAESONIA "Oh Queen, whose gifts are laughter and regrets

THE SENATORS "Oh Queen, whose gifts are laughter and regrets

CAESONIA "Teach us the indifference that revives love

THE SENATORS "Teach us the indifference that revives love

CAESONIA "Make known to us the truth about this world -- which is that it has none

THE SENATORS "Make known to us the truth about this world -- which is that it has none

CAESONIA "And grant us strength to live up to that unparalled truth

THE SENATORS "And grant us strength to live up to that unparalled truth

CAESONIA Pause!

THE SENATORS Pause!

CAESONIA (after a short silence Caesonia begins again but she goes faster as if in a trance, and the senators cant keep up -- they are only able to repeat the last phrases) "Shower us with thy gifts, bestow on us thine impartial cruelty. Rain upon our heads thy harvests of flowers and murders

THE SENATORS "... thy harvests of flowers and murders

CAESONIA "Receive unto thee thy straying children. Receive them in the bleak sanctuary of your heartless love. Share with us thy misguided bliss, thy futile sorrows and your raptures that lead nowhere

THE SENATORS ". . . your raptures that lead nowhere

CAESONIA (raising her voice, but slowing down) "O goddess, so empty yet so passionate, inhuman yet so earthly, make us drunk with the wine of thine equivalence, and satisfy us forever in thy Hard! (cymbals) Black! (drum) Heart! (drum and cymbals. Caesonia accents the last with a bump and grind)

CALIGULA (He rings tiny finger cymbals. In a Gregorian-like chant) Granted, my children, your prayers will be fulfilled. (He rings the cymbals again and several dancers supervised by Helicon hold out collection pots. One by one the SENATORS make obeisance, deposit their money and line up on the right. The last, in his flurry, forgets to make an offering. Caligula bounds to his feet.) Hey! Come here, my darling. Worship's very well, but charity is better. Thank you. Thats it. If the gods had no other income than the love you mortals give them, they'd be as poor as poor Caligula. Now, gentlemen, you may go, and spread abroad the glad tidings of the miracle you've been allowed to witness. You have really seen Venus with your fleshly eyes, and Venus herself has spoken to you. Go, most favored gentlemen. (The SENATORS begin to move away.) As you leave, make sure you exit to your left. Outside the door to your right I have posted guards to assassinate you.

The SENATORS file out hastily, in some disorder. The slaves and musicians leave the stage. Scipio picks up one of the collection pots and angrily tosses it to Helicon

HELICON (pointing a threatening finger at Scipio) Scipio, youre still the little anarchist!

SCIPIO (to Caligula, who is moving from up centre) Playing at blasphemy, now, Caius.

CALIGULA Blasphemy? What could that possibly mean?

SCIPIO After bloodying the earth you start spitting on heaven.

HELICON Theres a touch of bombast in this youngster. (He sits leisurely.)

CAESONIA (Calming. Sitting) Careful, Scipio. People are dying in Rome for much less.

SCIPIO Somebody should tell him the truth.

CAESONIA Well, Caligula. Heres the one thing missing in your Empire -- a bold young moralist. (Gets more comfortable)

CALIGULA (Stops and giving Scipio a curious glance) Do you really believe in any god, Scipio?

SCIPIO No.

CALIGULA Then why be so eager to sniff out blasphemy?

SCIPIO I can deny something without smearing it or depriving others of the right to believe in it.

CALIGULA (Close to him) Very tolerant my dear Scipio, how happy I am for you -- and even a touch envious. Such modesty is the one emotion I may never feel.

SCIPIO Youre jealous of the gods not me.

CALIGULA (Removes mask and breast cones and takes a slouching stand next to Caesonia) With your permission, Id like that to be the great secret of my reign. For someone who loves power there is something irritating about the rivalry of the gods, and thats why Ive done away with them. I've proved to these imaginary gods that, without previous training, a mere human, if he applies himself, can practice their ridiculous profession.

SCIPIO Thats what I meant by blasphemy, Caius.

CALIGULA No, no Scipio, it's clarity. We can become the equal of a god by becoming as cruel as he is.

SCIPIO By playing the tyrant.

CALIGULA And what exactly is a tyrant?

SCIPIO A blind soul. (sits)

CALIGULA Im not sure. A real tyrant is a person who sacrifices an institution or a whole nation to ambition or some ideal. I have no ideals, and there's no honors or powers left for me to drool over. (Scipio sits and Caligula comes over and sits next to him) Do you know how many wars I've refused to embark on? (bending over his feet and scrutinizing his toes)

SCIPIO No.

CALIGULA Three. And do you know why I refused?

SCIPIO Because the reputation of Rome means nothing to you.

CALIGULA No. Because I respect human life.

SCIPIO More jokes Caius.

CALIGULA Or at least I respect it more than I respect military ideals. But it's also true that I don't respect it more than I respect my own life, and if I find killing easy, it's because dying isn't hard for me. No, the more I think about it, the surer I feel that I'm not a tyrant.

SCIPIO (with a shrug) What does it matter, since it costs Rome as much as if you were one?

CALIGULA (with a hint of petulance) If you knew how to count you'd realize that the smallest war undertaken by a reasonable tyrant would cost a thousand times more than all my eccentricities do.

SCIPIO A war has some sense behind it and to be understandable makes up for a lot.

CALIGULA Fate can never be understood. Thats why Ive become fate. Taken on the stupid and incomprehensible face of divinity. Thats what those Senators were adoring a moment ago.

SCIPIO Blasphemy, vanity -- call it what you want Caius.

CALIGULA (Rising and crossing toward Caesonia) It's art, Scipio! You people make the mistake of not taking the drama seriously enough. If you did, youd know that any one can play lead in the divine comedy and become a god. ( He does a mock dance. Caesonia and Helicon applaud. He embraces Caesonia, both laughing.) He just needs to harden his heart.

SCIPIO (Gets up and claps sarcastically) You have done that successfully, Caius, but god-like qualities are contagious. Some day a legion of human gods just as ruthless as you will rise up and bathe your momentary divinity in blood.

CAESONIA So much for your idealism, Scipio!

CALIGULA (peremptorily) Never mind Caesonia. You are absolutely right, Scipio. I find it hard to picture the event you speak of. But sometimes I dream of it -- all those faces coming at me, convulsed with fear and hatred. And I welcome them. For I see in them the only god I have ever adored -- rebellious humanity. (Irritably) Now leave me. Philosophys a waste of time. (Scipio rises and exits) I still have my toenails to paint. (Caesonia puts paint pots and brushes next to him and then Caligula brushes her off -- she exits) Helicon!

HELICON Yes?

CALIGULA Are you getting on with your work?

HELICON What work?

CALIGULA The moon.

HELICON Im making progress. It takes time and patience. But I'd like to have a word with you.

CALIGULA I might have patience, but I havent much time. So youll have to hurry.

HELICON I said I'd do my best. But, first, I have something to tell you.

CALIGULA (as if he has not heard) Mind you, I've had her already

HELICON Whom?

CALIGULA The moon.

HELICON Yes .... yes, of course. But do you know there's a plot on your life?

CALIGULA I really had her, too. Only two or three times, to be sure. But, oh, I did have her.

HELICON I've been trying to tell you about it, only --

CALIGULA It was last summer. With all my gaping at her and caressing her on the columns in the garden she had eventually caught on.

HELICON Forget the trivialities, Caius. You have to hear this

CALIGULA (applying red polish to his toenails) This polish is no good at all. But, to come back to the moon -- it was a cloudless August night.(Helicon looks sulkily away, and keeps silence.) In the beginning she was coy. I was already in bed. Then she began to rise, brighter and brighter, quicker and quicker. The higher she rose, the lighter she became till finally she was a milky white pool amidst the multitudinous rustling of stars. She stepped over the threshold and, slowly but surely, glided to my bed, slipped in and bathed me in her smiles and dazzle. Then she came in the warm night air -- gentle, weightless and naked. -- No, this new polish is a failure ... So you see, Helicon, I can say, without boasting, that I've had her.

HELICON Now will you listen?

CALIGULA (ceasing to fiddle with his toes, and gazing at him fixedly) All I

want, Helicon, is the moon. I know in advance what will kill me. I haven't yet tasted everything that can keep me alive. That's why I want the moon. And dont come back before youve captured her for me.

HELICON (gets up) Alright. . . . I'm going to tell you anyway. There's a plot. Cherea is the leader. This letter came into my hands. It will tell you the essentials. Im leaving it here. (He places the letter on one of the seats and moves away.)

CALIGULA Where are you off to, Helicon?

HELICON (just before he exits) To get the moon for you.

There is an uneasy cough from the rear. Caligula swings round and sees the Old SENATOR.

THE OLD SENATOR (timidly) May I, Caius ... .

CALIGULA Come in! Come in! (Standing up and with mock eagerness.) So, my pet, you've returned to have another look at Venus.

THE OLD SENATOR Well . . . no. It's not quite that. Its . . . You know I'm very, very devoted to you -- and my one desire is to end my days in peace.

CALIGULA Come to the point! Come to the point!

THE OLD SENATOR Ssh! (realizing that hes telling Caligula to be quiet) Oh, sorry, Caius! I only wanted ... . Well, it's . . . it's like this.(hurriedly) It's terribly serious, that's what I meant to say.

CALIGULA No, it isn't serious.

THE OLD SENATOR What isn't, Caius?

CALIGULA But what are we talking about, darling?

THE OLD SENATOR (glancing nervously round the room) I mean --

(Wriggles, shuffles, then bursts out with it.) There's a conspiracy.

CALIGULA (Sits and resumes toe-nail painting) You see. Just as I said, it isn't serious.

THE OLD SENATOR (Sits next to Caligula) Caius, they intend to kill you.

CALIGULA (approaching him and grasping his shoulders) Do you know why I can't believe you?

THE OLD SENATOR (raising an arm, as if to take an oath) May God bear witness, Caius ...

CALIGULA Don't swear. I particularly ask you not to swear. (Gently but firmly pressing him back. Sees his nails and starts to paint them)Listen, instead. If what you were saying were true, I should have to come to the conclusion that you are breaking confidence with your colleagues in Caligulas advisory committee, shouldnt I?

THE OLD SENATOR (flustered) That is, Caius, considering the deep affection I have for you --

CALIGULA (dabs gently a little paint on SENATORs nose) And Id hate to come to that conclusion. After all, I loathe cowardly traitors so much that I could never resist having one put to death. But I know the man you are, my valued friend. And certainly you neither wish to play the traitor nor to die.

THE OLD SENATOR Certainly not, Caius. Most certainly not. (Almost weeping, he bows his bald head to to look at his painted nails)

CALIGULA (Hold the SENATORs bald head at arms length and measuring it with a judicious eye) So you see I was right in refusing to believe you. Youre not a coward are you? (Paints a comic face on his bald head).

THE OLD SENATOR Oh, no!

CALIGULA (Still painting) Nor a traitor?

THE OLD SENATOR I need hardly tell you that, Caius.

CALIGULA And consequently there is no plot, is there? This was just a practical joke of yours?

THE OLD SENATOR (feebly, his face distorted with terror) A joke, merely a joke.

CALIGULA (Pushing SENATORs face down to continue painting) Obviously, no one wants to kill me.

THE OLD SENATOR No one, of course not, not one.

CALIGULA (Takes SENATOR by the arm and assists him ) Then Ill ask you to leave, sweetheart. A man with honor is such an endangered species nowadays that I cannot bear the sight of one too long. I want to be alone to luxuriate in this unique experience. (For some moments he gazes, without moving, at the letter. He picks it up and reads it. Then, again, draws a deep breath. Then calls offstage to a guard.)

CALIGULA Bring Cherea to me. (Then) Make sure you treat him with all due respect. (Caligula crosses stage and stands wearily as a shaft of moonlight envelops him. He turns and poses as if he were surveying himself in a mirror. He addresses his imaginary reflection.) You were the fool who decided to be logical! Now youll have to find out how far it can go. (Ironically) If you were brought the moon, everything would be different, wouldnt it? What is impossible would become possible, and in a flash -- a great transfiguration. One night, perhaps Helicon will catch her sleeping in a lake, and carry her here, trapped in a glistening net, all slimy with weeds and water, like a pale bloated fish drawn from the deep. Why not, Caligula? (He casts a glance round the room.) Fewer and fewer people round me. (Addressing the mirror, in a hoarse voice.) Too many dead, too many dead. Even if the moon were mine, I couldnt retrace my way. Even if those dead men were stirring again under the sun's caress, the murders would not stay underground. (Turns in pain from the mirror, then faces it again) You must stick to the logic, Caligula go to the bitter end! (He comes back down and concealing the letter in his cloak, sits. The shaft of moonlight has disappeared.Cherea enters.)

CHEREA You sent for me, Caius?

CALIGULA (Caligula is staring absently at the place where the moonlight was.) Yes, Cherea.

A short silence.

CHEREA Have you anything particular to tell me?

CALIGULA No, Cherea.

Another silence.

CHEREA (with a hint of petulance) Are you sure my presence is necessary?

CALIGULA Absolutely sure, Cherea. (Another silence. Then, as if suddenly

recollecting himself) But excuse me, Im absent-minded and receiving you badly. Sit down and talk with me, like two friends. I need some intelligent conversation. (Cherea sits down. For the first time since the play began, Caligula gives the impression of being his natural self.) Do you think, Cherea, that it's possible for two men of much the same temperament at least once in their lives to talk to each other with complete frankness -- as if they stood naked and facing each other, washed free of the prejudices of private interests, and of the lies by which they live?

CHEREA Possible, yes, Caius. But I don't think you'd be capable of it.

CALIGULA You're right. I simply wanted to know if you agreed with me. So let's put our masks back on then and fall back on our lies. Lets talk like soldiers going into combat -- covered up to the eyes, padding on all the vital parts. Tell me, Cherea, why don't you like me?

CHEREA Because there's nothing likable about you, Caius. Because such feelings arent subject to command. Also, I see a family resemblance in you. And I cant like one of my own faces that I am trying to cover up in me.

CALIGULA But why is it you hate me?

CHEREA I dont hate you. I think youre cruel, vain and selfish. But I cant hate you, because I don't think you are happy. And I cant scorn you, because I know you are no coward.

CALIGULA Then why do you want to kill me?

CHEREA I've already told you: because you are a constant menace. I need to feel secure. Like most people. They resent living in a world where the strangest thoughts can become reality in the twinkling of an eye and transfix their lives like a knife in the heart. I feel the same way. I want to know where I stand, and to stand secure.

CALIGULA Security and logic don't go together.

CHEREA Quite true. My plan of life may not be logical, but at least it's workable.

CALIGULA (intensely interested) Go on.

CHEREA There's no more to say. It's only natural that you should . . . disappear.

CALIGULA I see your point, and for most people, I grant you, it's obvious. But you? Youre intelligent and a person either pays dearly for intelligence or represses it. I am paying up. But why are you both unwilling to repress it and unwilling to pay up? You know better.

CHEREA Because I'm ordinary. There are moments when I desire the death of those I love, or lust after a woman forbidden to me by friendship or family. Were logic everything, I'd kill or seduce on such occasions. But you cant live that way.

CALIGULA So you believe in some higher ideal?

CHEREA I believe some actions are better than others.

CALIGULA And I dont believe theres any reason to choose between them.

CHEREA I understand, Caius, and, to a point, agree with you. That's why I don't hate you. Nevertheless, you stand in our way and you must disappear.

CALIGULA So why risk your life by telling me this?

CHEREA Because others will take my place, and because I don't like to lie.

A short silence.

CALIGULA Cherea.

CHEREA Yes, Caius?

CALICULA Do you think that it's possible for two men of much the same temperament at least once in their lives to open their hearts to each other?

CHEREA Isnt that what we've just been doing.

CALIGULA Yes, Cherea. But you thought I was incapable of it.

CHEREA I was wrong, Caius. I admit it, and I thank you. Now I await your sentence.

CALIGULA My sentence? Ah, I see. (Producing the letter from under his cloak.) Do you recognize this, Cherea?

CHEREA I suspected you had a copy.

CALIGULA (stifles a scream, holding the letter up to his face, moves away from Cherea. Passionately) You knew I had it! So your frankness was a piece of play acting. The two friends did not open their hearts to each other. Oh well! At least we can stop playing at sincerity, and resume living the way we were. But first I ask you to make just one more effort to swallow my insults and bad humor. Listen carefully, Cherea. This is the only piece of evidence against you.

CHEREA (moves to go) I'm leaving Caius. I'm sick and tired of all these games. CALIGULA (in the same tense, passionate voice) Just a minute. This letter is the only evidence. Right?

CHEREA Evidence? When have you needed evidence to send a man to his death.

CALIGULA That's true. But for once I want to contradict myself. It will harm no one, and its good to contradict oneself occasionally. It relaxes a person. And I need relaxation Cherea.

CHEREA Youre too subtle for me, Caius.

CALIGULA I forgot, Cherea. You are a healthy man. You dont want to be an anything out of the ordinary man. (Bursting into laughter)You want to live and to be happy -- That's all! Nothing more!

CHEREA Lets leave it at that.

CALIGULA A little patience, if you don't mind. I have evidence and I choose to assume that I can't sentence you to death without it. That's my idea . . . and my relaxation. Well! See what becomes of evidence in the hands of an Emperor. (He holds the letter to a torch. Cherea approaches. The torch is between them. The letter begins to burn.) You see, conspirator! It burns, and as this proof disappears, a new innocence dawns on your face again. What a handsome forehead you have, Cherea! And innocence is so beautiful! Marvel at my power. Even a god cannot restore innocence without first punishing the culprit. But your emperor needs only a torch flame to expiate your crime Consider in that light, the wonderful reasoning you have just given me. Your emperor longs for his rest. That's his way of living and being happy.

Cherea stares, bewildered, at Caligula. He turns, but almost backs out, unable to take his eyes off Caligula who is still holding up an imaginary letter to the flame. Caligula follows the receding figure with his gaze, laughing

and sobbing. Act Four

A room in the imperial palace. The stage is in semidarkness. Cherea and Scipio enter. Cherea crosses to the right, then comes back left to Scipio.

SCIPIO (With a sullen mouth) What do you want of me?

CHEREA You didn't come to our meeting yesterday.

SCIPIO (looking away and crossing) That's right.

CHEREA Scipio, I'm not in the habit of asking help from others, but I need you now. You and I are the only ones who can sponsor this murder with the right motives. I want you to stay with us.

SCIPIO I cant do that.

CHEREA So you are with him then?

SCIPIO No ...

CHEREA And yet he killed your father.

SCIPIO That's how it all began. But thats how it ends, too.

CHEREA Sometimes you just have to choose.

SCIPIO Were consumed by the same fire. Im unfortunate enough to understand him. CHEREA So you have chosen to take his side.

SCIPIO (passionately) No, I can never, ever again take anyones side.

CHEREA (affectionately; approaching Scipio) Hes taught you to despair in taking any action because to do so would bloody your innocent hands in some way or other. That, by itself, would justify me in killing him. (Helicon enters.)

HELICON I've been looking for you, Cherea. Caligula's planning a little get-to-gether. He wants you to wait for him. (to Scipio) You aren't invited. Off you go!

SCIPIO (looking back at Cherea as he goes out) Cherea.

CHEREA (gently) Yes, Scipio?

SCIPIO You do understand.

CHEREA (in the same gentle tone) No, Scipio.

Scipio and Helicon go out. The Old SENATOR and the Octavius are thrown into the room.

OCTAVIUS But what can he want with us at this hour of the night? If it's only to have us killed why all these preliminaries?

THE OLD SENATOR We should have acted sooner; I always said so. Now we're in this torture chamber. (Cherea enters)

CHEREA (Sits, showing no sign of apprehension.) Any idea what's happening?

SENATORS (speaking together) He's found out about the conspiracy.

CHEREA And?

TIlE OLD SENATOR (shuddering) Torture.

CHEREA (still unperturbed) Caligula once gave 81,000 sesterces to a slave who, despite torture, wouldn't confess to a theft he had committed.

OCTAVIUS For some reason that doesnt console me.

CHEREA Hes a connoisseur of courage. You ought to keep that in mind. (to the Old Patrician) If you dont mind, would stop chattering your teeth? I detest that sound.

THE OLD SENATOR Ah -- --

OCTAVIUS Concentrate on the fact that our lives are at stake.

CHEREA (coolly) Youll be quoting Caligula next.

TIlE OLD SENATOR (on the verge of tears) Remember what he always says it to the executioner: "Kill him slowly, so that he feels what dying's like and hence appreciates life more!"

CHEREA After an execution he yawns, and says quite seriously: "What I admire most is my insensitivity." Thats my favorite.

OCTAVIUS I hear something.

CHEREA Of course such a remark betrays a weakness. If he were really insensitive he would never make such a boast.

THE OLD SENATOR If you dont mind, would you stop philosophizing? I detest that!

Helicon enters carrying a gigantic war axe.

CHEREA (who has not noticed Helicon) Lets admit at least that such a man forces one to think. There's nothing like insecurity for stimulating the brain. No wonder hes so hated.

THE OLD SENATOR (pointing a trembling finger at the axe which Helicon has placed just behind Cherea) Its happening!

CHEREA (Noticing now, and in a slightly altered tone) Maybe you were right.

OCTAVIUS Waiting was a mistake. We should have acted at once.

CHEREA Now we know.

THE OLD SENATOR I don't want to die.

Suddenly strange music begins behind a curtain at the back of the stage. The hostages gaze at each other in silence. Outlined on the illuminated curtain, in shadow play, Caligula appears and executes some grotesque dance movements. He is wearing ballet dancer's skirts and his head is garlanded with flowers. As the music climaxes Caligula disappears and Helicon announces gravely: "Gentlemen, the performance is over."Meanwhile Caesonia has entered soundlessly behind the watching Senators. She speaks in an ordinary voice, but none the less they give a start on hearing it.

CAESONIA Caligula has instructed me to tell you that in the past he has called his advisory committee together only for purposes of State business. But tonight he has invited you to participate with him in an artistic emotion. (A short pause. Then she continues in the same tone.)He added, I should note, that anyone who failed to participate would strung up on a meat hook. (They keep silent.) I apologize for insisting, but I must ask if you found the dance beautiful.

OCTAVIUS (After only a brief hesitation) It was beautiful, Caesonia.

THE OLD SENATOR (effusively) Lovely! Lovely!

CAESONIA And you, Cherea?

CHEREA (Icily) It was . . . fine art.

CAESONIA Good. Now I can convey your critical appreciation to Caligula. (She exits)

HELICON Tell me, Cherea, was it really fine art?

CHEREA In a way.

HELICON I defer to your cleverness, Cherea. Deceptive as only a respectable citizen can be. But clever indeed. I am not clever. And yet Im very protective of Caius, even if he wants none of it.

CHEREA I dont quite understand what youre saying. But I congratulate you on your devotion to duty. I like devoted servants.

(Cherea laughs and turns away. Helicon draws one knife and puts the flat side on the side of Chereas face pulling it around to face him. Helicon takes out another knife and places the sharp side directly between them as Cherea is forced to look him straight in the eye.)

HELICON Look carefully Cherea. Study it like a piece of fine art. A portrait of your enemy. (He pats Cherea on the head with the flat knife, and then exits).

CHEREA (Angrily) Now, lets act quickly. You two stay here. Before the night is out there'll be a hundred of us. (Exits)

OCTAVIUS (Sadly) Did I really say that dance was beautiful.

THE OLD PATRICIAN (conciliatingly) Maybe we just didnt understand it.

Lucius enters

LUCIUS Whats going on? Caligulas guards forced me to come here.

THE OLD SENATOR (absent-mindedly) For the dance, perhaps.

LUCIUS Dance?

THE OLD SENATOR Excuse me, the artistic emotion.

Cassius enters

CASSIUS I've just heard Caligula's very ill.

OCTAVIUS He is.

CASSIUS What's the matter with him? (In a joyful tone) By the gods, is he going to die?

OCTAVIUS I doubt it. His disease is only fatal to others.

CAESONIA ( Enters and in a casual tone) I thought you should know that Caligula has serious stomach trouble. Just now he vomited blood.(They crowd round her, not noticing Caligula off to the side)

LUCIUS I vow to the gods if he recovers, to pay the Treasury two hundred thousand sesterces as a token of my joy.

CASSIUS (on one knee with exaggerated eagerness) Take my life in place of his!

Caligula has entered, and is listening.

CALIGULA (going up to Lucius) I accept your offer, Lucius. And I thank you. A representative of the Treasurer Board will call on you tomorrow. (Goes to Cassius and embraces him.) You can't imagine how touched I am. (A short pause. Then, tenderly) So you love me, Cassius, as much as that?

CASSIUS (emotionally) Caesar, there's nothing, nothing I wouldn't sacrifice for your sake.

CALIGULA (embracing him again) Ah, Cassius, this is really too much; I don't deserve all this love. (Cassius makes a protesting gesture.) No, no, really, I'm not worthy of such devotion. (He beckons to two soldiers.) Take him away. (gently, to Cassius) Go, my friend, and remember that Caligulas heart is yours.

CASSIUS (terrified) But where are they taking me?

CALIGULA To death, of course. You gave your life in exchange for mine. I feel better already. Even that nasty taste of blood in my mouth has gone. Youve cured me, Cassius. And now that Im quite myself again, I feel like throwing a party in honor of my generous friend.(Cassius face is distorted by terror and his body limp with fear as he is dragged away)

CALIGULA (In a nostalgic tone) Soon the paths along the sea will be bobbing with golden mimosa flowers. Young women will be wearing light summer dresses. The blue sky will be washed with a light breeze and clean swift sunshine! The smiles of life. (serious) If you had loved life enough, my friend, you wouldn't have gambled it away so rashly.

CASSIUS (Momentarily revived by one last effort to change Caligulas mind) But its all a joke, Caligula. Lifes just a joke. And Im laughing. Cac, cac, cac, cac. See, Im laughing! Cac! Cac! Cac! Cac! (It doesnt work, and his "laugh" starts to alternative with weeping offstage, until it abruptly stops).

CALIGULA (Looking at Lucius) And the loser must pay. The winner demands it. (A short silence.) Come, Caesonia. (He turns to the others.)By the way, an idea has just ambushed me, and I want to share it with you. Up to now my reign has been too happy. There's been no world-wide plague, no religious persecution, not even a revolution -- in short, nothing likely to give us a place in history. In a sense, you see, thats why I have been trying to make up for the modesty of fate. I mean -- I don't know if you've followed me -- well (he gives a little laugh), in short, Im your plague. (In a different tone) But dont say a word. Heres Cherea's coming. Youre on, Caesonia.

(Caligula goes out. Cherea enters. Caesonia hurries toward Cherea.)

CAESONIA Caligula is dead.

She turns her head, as if to hide her tears; her eyes are fixed on the others. Everyone looks horrified but for different reasons. Cherea moves hastily from one man to the other. No one speaks except the Old Patrician who cant help himself.

THE OLD SENATOR Only a short while ago he was dancing. (Caesonia fixes on him)

CAESONIA The effort was too much for him. (No one speaks.) You've nothing to say, Cherea?

CHEREA (in a low voice) It's a great misfortune for us all, Caesonia.

Caligula bursts in violently and goes up to Cherea.

CALIGULA Well played, Cherea. (He spins round and stares at the others. Petulantly) So it didn't come off. (to Caesonia) Don't forget what I told you.

(Caligula abruptly dashes off. Nobody knows whats going on.)

THE OLD SENATOR (hoping against hope) Is he ill, Caesonia?

CAESONIA (with a hostile look) No, my pet. Though he never has more than two hours sleep and spends the best part of the night stalking the corridors. You should give a thought to what may pass in this man's mind in those hours between midnight and sunrise. Is he ill? No, hes not ill, unless you invent a name for the boils and sores that fester in his soul.

(Recovering her composure and in a changed tone) Oh, I was forgetting. Caligula has decreed that today is to be a special holiday devoted to art. So he has organized a poetry reading. A group of poets will be given a set theme and asked to improvise. He wants the poets among you to take part in the competition. He particularly mentioned young Scipio and wise Octavius.

OCTAVIUS But Im no poet ---

CAESONIA (In a level tone, as if she has not heard him) Needless to say there will be prizes. There will also be penalties. (Looks of consternation.) Just between ourselves, the penalties are not too severe.

OCTAVIUS -- I can appreciate good poetry, but writing -- (Cut off by Caligulas entry, looking gloomier than ever.)

CALIGULA All ready?

CAESONIA Yes. (Calling offstage) Poets can enter.

They enter and arrange themselves beside Scipio and Octavius.

CALIGULA The "Caligula Prize." Subject: death. Time limit: one minute.

The poets scribble feverishly on their tablets.

THE OLD SENATOR (Taking a keen interest) Who will compose the jury?

CALIGULA I shall. Isn't that enough?

THE OLD SENATOR Oh, yes, quite enough.

CHEREA Will you be competing, Caius?

CALIGULA Unnecessary. I wrote my poem on this theme long ago.

THE OLD SENATOR (Eagerly) Where can one get a copy of it?

CALIGULA No need. I recite it every day, in my own way.

(Caesonia eyes him nervously. Caligula rounds on her almost savagely.) Is there anything in my appearance that displeases you?

CAESONIA (Gently) I'm sorry. (She turns away)

CALIGULA (Caligula turns to Cherea.) As I was saying. It's the only poem I have ever fathered, but its the living proof that I am the only true artist Rome has ever known -- the only one, Cherea, to reconcile his thoughts and his deeds.

CHEREA Surely its only a matter of having the power to do so.

CALIGULA Quite true. Other artists create because they lack power. I don't need to make a work of art; I live it. (Brutally) Well, poets, are you ready? (No one answers)

CALIGULA Good. I take that for a yes. Listen carefully. When I whistle, the first of you will step forward and begin reading. When I whistle again, he must stop and the second begin. And so on. The winner, of course, will be