calm, cool and collected 38 th annual nysobba conference june 16, 2015
TRANSCRIPT
Calm, Cool and Collected
38th Annual NYSOBBA Conference
June 16, 2015
Session Agenda
Stress & On-the-Job Pressure: some
stats
People Dealing with People: How We
Interact & A Framework for
Understanding One Another
The Drama Triangle/The “Toxic”
Triangle: How We Get in the Triangle &
How to Stay Out
*** GROUP ACTIVITY***
Bonding & Bridging with your Co-
workers
High Levels of Stress: A Study
Main component of stress – more students and families requesting more of our time, while we deal with lower budgets, fewer people on staff and GREATER oversight
A 2013 study from Inceptia (Division of NSLP) “On the Job Pressure” about Stress in our types of offices. Main objectives of the study:– Determine the issues that create the most stress– Determine how often these issues occur– Profile any differences by College Sector
Methodology: How MUCH Stress 1(none)/5 (extreme stress) multiplied by how OFTEN 1(never)/ 5 (frequently)
Demographics of Study
513 individuals completed the survey Type of Institution/Percent of the Sample
Proprietary 10% Private 4-Year 30% Private 2-Year 2% Public 2-Year 25% Public 40Year 33%
Position Type/Percent of the Sample Director 44% Assoc/Asst Dir 22% Office Staff 34%
TOP Stressors
STRESS Categories
Stressors by SECTOR
Stressors by Job Responsibility
NASFAA Survey of Administrative Burdens
Two-thirds of respondents indicate Resource Shortages compared to Work Load
90% indicate that shortages impact: Face to Face Counseling Outreach Efforts Attention to Target Populations
Other burdens: Increased regulatory burden, Growth in administrative expectations
Understanding WHAT We Deal With
Is our Service meeting expectations (of students & families and/or our superiors)?
Our services drive overall institution performance, but are we respected?
Students need our time but are we staffed appropriately and do the right students come?
The evolving landscape makes the role of Bursar’s Offices and Financial Aid Offices ever more important.
Understanding WHO We Deal With
What can the field of education teach us?
Exploring the work of Ruby Payne, PhD “Understanding a Framework for Poverty” People are different and as a society we
need to find different ways to interact with one another
Raise awareness of different ‘classes’ of people and their backgrounds, what shapes their thoughts and behavior
Poverty, Middle Class, & the Wealthy
How Do People THINK? A person’s THINKING is cognitively
framed by:Demands of their EnvironmentRelationships and KnowledgeResources
Financial, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, Physical, Support Systems, Relationships/Role Models
Knowledge of Hidden Rules – What are the unspoken cues and habits of a group?
Dealing with CONFRONTATION
Our aim is to maintain professionalism *and* to maintain our relationship
Why is this difficult? Poor planning, failure to identify the
real problem or identify the pertinent issues
Failure to communicate timely & appropriately & inability to control impulses
Toxic, Transactional TRIANGLE
Work of Ruby Payne & Stephen Karpman
TRIANGLE Roles
Victim, Persecutor (Bully), Rescuer Similar to Damsel in Distress, Villain,
HeroVictim is the major role that sets off the
toxic triangle of DRAMA Victim feels powerless or confused
Victim >>> Rescuer, Rescuer feels good
Victim places blame on persecutor >>>rescuer is needed *and* problem is deemed unsolvable
Stay Away from the TRIANGLE
Problems are not solved while in the triangle and shifting roles in the triangle
Do not attempt to decipher between those who are truly distressed and those playing games and quick to place blame
Attempt to make your victim aware of the triangle by focusing on telling them how YOU can solve problems.
Avoid the Drama
Remember people are different, with varying experiences, operating from different ‘cues.’
Avoid saying, “I’m just trying to help you”; don’t shift roles within the triangle.
“There are lots of things that go wrong and I have experience getting to the bottom of the issue. Allow me to go over the cycle with you and then I’d like to gather all the details from you.”
Control it….stay out of the triangle!
Try the Empowerment Triangle
Group Work – Let’s Vent! But Keep Cool
Work in TeamsShare your examples
on how you diffused a difficult situation and collectively pick ONE scenario
Time to role play, define any roles of the triangle, and aim to use the empowerment roles
Vote for best group!
When All Else Fails…Turn to Your Colleagues
We need support from a social network
Don’t let venting get out of control Difference between BONDING and
BRIDGING– Bonding is good for GETTING BY. You
can end on a negative note. – Bridging is good for GETTING AHEAD.
Things must end on a positive note. – Do more BRIDGING than BONDING
Christina Cardinale & Lisa JuncajStudent Accounts & Bursar Services
Manhattan CollegeRiverdale, New York
(718) [email protected] &
Questions?