Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, March 31, 2011 - Page S-7

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The lizard with no nameBy NATALIE JOHNSON

The entertainment business isn’t getting any easier. Turns out, it’s even harder if you’re a lizard.

In the animated “Rango,” starring Johnny Depp and Isla Fisher and directed by “Pirates of the Carribean” director Gore Verbinski, we meet our heroic lizard (Johnny Depp) as he is honing his acting skills with his fellow actors, a wind up fish, a headless doll torso, and a plastic palm tree.

Our as yet nameless lizard friend starts to contemplate his lonely existence and seemingly hopeless chances of becoming a great actor. He soon asks the eternal question – “Who am I?”

Soon, however, his world crumbles, literally, as the terrarium he calls home falls out of the back of a speeding car and leaves him alone in an unfamiliar world – the desert.

From this moment on, our reptilian hero begins his quest to find “the spirit of the west,” and his identity. He takes on the name “Rango,” and after meeting a girl lizard, Beans (Isla Fisher), suitable chaos ensues as he uses his acting skills to create the persona of the gun slinging western killer and races to save the town of Dirt.

“You might say I’m what Hell’s already raised up,” Rango says to the awed residents

of Dirt, who face a desperate water shortage and need a hero to save the day.

“Rango” is an animated movie with lots of physical humor, but most of the jokes, metaphors and movie references seem to be geared towards older kids or adults, and may be inappropriate for little kids.

In the first 10 minutes of the movie, Verbinski blasts a “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” reference at audiences, another Depp film.

Also, much of “Rango” pays homage to Sergio Leone’s Italian “spaghetti western” trilogy including “A Fistful of Dollars,” “For a Few Dollars More,” and my personal favorite, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,”

all starring Clint Eastwood as the man with no name.

Much of the dialogue can make anyone laugh, and lightens the slightly dark animated comedy.

For example at one point the narrator said, “[Rango] is sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception.”

Although kids will enjoy the action and slapstick humor, adults won’t suffer through this movie with their kids, and this adult certainly enjoyed keeping up with Rango’s exploits.

As Rango gets further into his spiritual quest to find the spirit of the west, and therefore finds his own identity and place in the world outside his shattered terrarium, images get scarier for younger kids, but the themes get more interesting for older audience members.

Eventually, Rango finds the epiphany he was looking for, and as is typical in westerns, the hero redeems himself for past transgressions and saves the day. And I for one would love to see him do it again sometime soon.

“Rango” is smart, funny, and a wild ride through the dusty, dirty, varmint-filled Wild West – this might just redeem Johnny Depp for “The Tourist.”

I give Rango four out of five Timber trees.

Courtesy art

Johnny Depp is Rango.

Recycle and release, a problem in video gamesBy DEAN SIEMON

For this week’s video game column, I wanted to discuss one of the biggest problems I have with a lot of sports titles - which are mostly manufactured by Electronic Arts’ sports division (EA Sports) nowadays.

The EA Sports franchise has earned exclusive video game rights with many league’s including the NFL with the Madden series.

But while any casual fan that picks up the latest copy of NFL Madden or NCAA Football would be pleased with the gameplay and visual graphics, the hardcore player like myself is continuously disappointed each year.

Why? Because the latest game looks and feels like last year’s model … and the year before that … and even the year before that.

I made the mistake of picking

of NFL Madden 2011 when it was released in August 2010, thinking they may have added to some of the gameplay from the 2010 version.

While they removed the speed button to allow the player to focus more on jukes, stiff arms and other signature moves to avoid defenders, it felt like an exact carbon copy.

The Chicago Bears felt like the same 80-range rated team (maximum rating for players and teams is 99) and the Indianapolis Colts and New England Patriots have a rating from an all-star team more so than a single NFL team roster.

That’s why the old NFL Blitz games were always an arcade favorite because it was taking the action of the NFL

Continued on page 8

Page S-6 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, May 5, 2011

If that was the greatest show on earth, I want my money backBy NATALIE JOHNSON

Have you ever picked up a book on a whim, expecting little but to pass the time?

I did, when I read Sara Gruen’s “Water for Elephants,” two years ago. I was pleasantly surprised with the book – it wasn’t a monumental classic, but a genuine page-turner. I cared about the characters, I was engrossed in the plot, and I simply could not put the book down.

The movie version had a somewhat lesser effect.

We meet our hero Jacob Jankowski (Robert Pattinson) as a young man just about to graduate from veterinary school. However, before he can complete his final exams, his parents die in a car accident.

Left with nothing, Jankowski takes to the road with nothing but a suitcase full of clothes. After miles of walking, he jumps a train, and inadvertently joins the greatest show on earth – a traveling circus.

At this point, the circus has begun, and all you have to do is sit back, watch the performances, and enjoy the show.

Except, the performances were underwhelming at best. Over and over again, what should have been intensely emotional scenes just seemed to fall flat.

The ultimate mistake, I think, is hiring vampire-boy, excuse me, Robert Pattinson for the lead role. I feel a lot of sympathy for the guy – he’s

been typecast for as long as his vampire character in the Twilight Saga will live – for all eternity.

He’s a high profile actor, and will draw in the tween/vampire-loving crowd, but as someone who has never read Stephenie Meyers’ novels or

watched the movies, I just saw him as an actor who didn’t really deliver like I hoped he would.

Reese Witherspoon (Marlena) did her best, and looked radiant in all her 1930’s glory throughout the movie, but there was simply

no chemistry between her and Pattinson.

In all fairness, the acting would have been helped by better dialogue. None of the lines carried any weight, and throughout the movie, characters never said anything profound. Most of the dialogue was expository at best.

On the other hand, Christoph Walz was awesome, as usual, as the sadistic circus owner, ringmaster, and Marlena’s husband. That man plays crazy like no other.

The movie was visually beautiful and really conveyed the book’s description of a slightly dilapidated circus hanging on during the depression. Unfortunately, the look of the film couldn’t redeem it for it’s lackluster performances, iffy continuity and uninspired writing.

I give this a generous three out of five Timber trees.

Water for Elephants is underwhelming, unless you like vampires

Courtesy photo

An elephant will supposedly get water at some point during this movie.

WWE All Stars goes over the top with past and present wrestlersBy DEAN SIEMON

Finally, THQ has come back with a unique WWE video game! And, just like the Miz … it’s awesome.

For several years, THQ, the Southern California based developer, has been behind the WWE Smackdown vs. Raw series - a franchise that has become just as much of a cookie-cutter series as NFL Madden from EA Sports.

But with WWE All-Stars, they finally came out with a game that reminds us wrestling fans of the old Nintendo 64 games like WWF WrestleMania 2000, WWF No Mercy and even WCW/NWO Revenge.

The game takes the legends of pro-fessional wrestling’s past and adds some of today’s WWE superstars (and Jack Swagger), adding about 150 pounds of muscle to every character model - al-though Ultimate Warrior still looks like he mixed steroids and coffee in his pro-tein shake.

The most appealing aspect to buying this game for wrestling fans is having

the opportunity to have fantasy matches between today’s and yesterday’s WWE warriors - Hulk Hogan vs. John Cena, Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Edge, Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio … this list can go on.

And it’s nice to have former ring announcer Howard Finkel back, along with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on commentary for the true WWE All Star experience.

Now to continue reviewing the game not as the Journal’s resident wrestling fan, but as an unbiased critic - this game is still amazing.

Fans of the fighting genre will love the fact that the game allows you to chain strikes and grapples into big com-bos, whether your opponent is standing, laying flat on his back or in the air from a previous attack.

The visuals are crisp while the mo-tions of all combos and reversals have no awkward lag between them, every-thing is fluid in motion.

All signature and finishing moves are

added with a little bit of an “over-the-top” feel. For example, a headbutt from the more-than-500-pound Andre the Giant to Rey Mysterio (who is probably 175 at the most) sends the luchador fly-ing out of the ring.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage’s famous elbow drop doesn’t connect to the dazed opponent’s juggular without flying 10 feet above the ring and 360 degree spin.

There are a few different types of wrestlers to choose from - the big man (Big Show), the brawler (Stone Cold), high flyer (Kofi Kingston) and techni-cian (Bret Hart) to name a few.

The draw back for me is that you can really pick any of them and not have any more or less difficulty against any specific style.

That doesn’t mean this game will be easy. The computer-controlled opponent across from you will try to memorize your patter. Basically, it probably isn’t wise to repeatedly use the same vertical suplex 15 times in a row.

The game includes exhibition (one-

on-one, tornado tag team, elimination and steel cage), as well as Fantasy Warfare, where the game has you play dream matches that they have chosen.

There is also the Path of Champions, three in total where you must win 10 matches to complete the path. The path to the Undertaker includes awesome video promos with the voice acting of not only the Deadman, but his original manager Paul Bearer (the creepiest char-acter in WWE history).

And if that wasn’t enough, there is a Create-A-Superstar mode, where you pick your entrance, move set and fin-isher.

If there was one thing that I would say is wrong with the game is the repetition. Sometimes, it feels like you’ll have been doing the same move a million times with John Cena (well, he really only have five moves in the ring, but that’s not the point).

This is a must buy for anyone that has been or still is a fan of the WWE. For those wanting a good fighting game, it is still worth $60.

Page S-6 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, June 2, 2011

Here we go againBy NATALIE JOHNSON

… Not that I know what a weird drug-induced flashback is like, mind you – my mother reads this paper – but I imagine it would be something like watching “The Hangover Part II.”

I really liked “The Hangover.” I first saw it with a college buddy in a second-run theater in Seattle – the kind where your feet stick to the floor as you walk to the seat that smells like 50 years of spilled buttered popcorn. It was an appropriate setting for the debauchery that soon filled the screen in front of me.

Now that movie was raunchy enough. It more than earned its “R” rating. Imagine, if you will, the original “Hangover” given a hefty shot of steroids and an extra fifth of, oh I don’t know, moonshine, or maybe paint thinner or something, then you might be close to what the sequel is.

Like in the first movie the main characters, or the “wolf pack” consisting of Stu, Doug, Phil and Allen are preparing for a bachelor party. This time Stu is the one getting married, not in Las Vegas, but in Thailand, and his future little brother-in-law Teddy is coming along.

Stu remembers too well what happened the last time he attended a bachelor party and insists on a quiet brunch instead of a wild night. Of course that doesn’t work out, or there would be no movie.

Ironically, the party they ended up having in Bangkok makes the first “Hangover” look like a pancake breakfast at IHOP.

The usual cases of mistaken identity, random accidents, hospital visits and

revelations of being drugged ensue, just in Thailand this time.

And of course, they lose Teddy and spend several days looking for him, only to find him in an obvious, overlooked spot (not the roof this time) and race back just in time for the wedding.

Beyond its over the top nastiness, for lack of a better word, there wasn’t much to “The Hangover Part II.” The individual jokes were funny, at times pee your pants funny, but I couldn’t help but wonder if they used the script from the first “Hangover” with a few copy-and-paste changes.

The thing that made the first “Hangover” so great was really the element of surprise. Every scene and every twist of the plot caught you by surprise. This time wasn’t like that – they lost that surprise by making a carbon copy of the first film.

The weird thing was that the writers, producers, director or whoever was responsible for this debacle clearly did it on purpose. They meant to make this “Hangover” a remake of the last one with a change of setting. A few allusions to the first movie would have been great, but this was too much.

I just don’t think it had the desired effect. Instead of feeling like an eerie, “Twilight Zone” experience for Stu and the gang, it just felt like a Hollywood studio in search of a quick buck.

I give “The Hangover Part II” two Timber Trees out of five if you’ve seen the original, and three and a half if you haven’t.

“The Hangover Part II” is like a weird drug-induced flashback …