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CHAPTER 2CHAPTER 2

PlanningPlanningBusinessBusinessMessagesMessages

Chapter 2, Slide 2Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Basics of business writingBasics of business writing

Business messages are different from college essays, term papers, and messages to friends.

Conciseness and clarity count.

ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/ZSOLT NUYLASZI

Chapter 2, Slide 3Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Purposeful Persuasive Economical Audience oriented

The best business writing isThe best business writing isThe best business writing isThe best business writing is

Following a process can make you a better writer or speaker.

Chapter 2, Slide 4Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

The Writing ProcessThe Writing ProcessThe Writing ProcessThe Writing Process

Chapter 1, Slide 5Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 5Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Approximately how much time should be spent at each stage?

Chapter 2, Slide 6Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Analyzing Your Purpose Analyzing Your Purpose and Channeland Channel

Identify your purpose. Why are you writing? What do you hope to achieve?

JON FEINGERSH / ICONICA / GETTY IMAGES

Chapter 2, Slide 7Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Select the best channel.Select the best channel.Select the best channel.Select the best channel.

E-mail

Fax

Letter

Memo

Report

Telephone

Voice mail

Meeting

Conversation

Web site

Chapter 2, Slide 8Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

How important is the message? How fast do you need feedback? Is a permanent record essential? What is the cost of the channel? How much formality do you desire? How confidential or sensitive is the

message?

Select the best channel.Select the best channel.Select the best channel.Select the best channel.

Chapter 2, Slide 9Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Profiling the AudienceProfiling the Audience

Primary Audience Who is the primary reader? What are my personal and professional

relationships with that person? What does the person know about the

subject? What kind of response should I expect?

Chapter 2, Slide 10Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Profiling the AudienceProfiling the Audience

Secondary Audience Who else might see or hear this

message? Are they different from the primary

audience? How must I reshape the message for

the secondary audience?

Chapter 1, Slide 11Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 11Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Adapting to Task and Audience

Chapter 2, Slide 12Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Spotlight Audience BenefitsSpotlight Audience BenefitsSpotlight Audience BenefitsSpotlight Audience Benefits

Focus your statements on the audience, not the sender.

We are promoting a new hospitalization plan that we believe has many outstanding benefits.

You will enjoy total peace of mind with our affordable hospitalization plan that meets all your needs.

Try this:Instead of this:

Chapter 1, Slide 13Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 13Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

CultivateA “You”

View

CultivateA “You”

View

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Adapting to Task and Audience

Chapter 2, Slide 14Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Develop a “You” ViewDevelop a “You” ViewDevelop a “You” ViewDevelop a “You” View

Emphasize second-person pronouns (you/your) instead of first-person pronouns (I/we, us, our)

Before we can allow you to purchase items on this new account, we must wait two weeks to verify your credit.

You may begin making purchases on your new account in two weeks.

Try this:Instead of this:

Chapter 2, Slide 15Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Quick Check

These are better:

You can now purchase HP computers at discounted prices.

We are now offering HP computers at discounted prices.

Revise these sentences:

We are pleased to announce that you have been approved to enroll in our leadership training program.

Congratulations! You have been selected to enter our leadership training program!

Develop a “You” ViewDevelop a “You” ViewDevelop a “You” ViewDevelop a “You” View

Chapter 1, Slide 16Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 16Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

SoundConversational

SoundConversational

CultivateA “You”

View

CultivateA “You”

View

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Adapting to Task and Audience

Chapter 2, Slide 17Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Conversational LanguageConversational LanguageConversational LanguageConversational Language

The undersigned takes pleasure in . . .

I’m happy to . . .

Try this:Instead of this:

It may be of some concern to you to learn that your check has been received and your account has been credited for $250.

We’ve credited your account for $250.

Chapter 1, Slide 18Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 18Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

EmployPositive

Language

EmployPositive

Language

SoundConversational

SoundConversational

CultivateA “You”

View

CultivateA “You”

View

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Chapter 2, Slide 19Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Positive LanguagePositive LanguagePositive LanguagePositive Language

Employees may not use the First Street entrance during remodeling.

Employees may use the Market Street entrance during remodeling.

Try this:Instead of this:

We cannot fill your order until we receive an exact model number.

We can fill your order once we receive an exact model number.

Chapter 2, Slide 20Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Quick Check

These are better:

You will be paid promptly once the job is completed satisfactorily.

We must withhold payment until you complete the job satisfactorily.

Revise these sentences:

If you fail to follow each requirement, you will not receive your $50 rebate.

By following each requirement, you will receive your $50 rebate.

State Ideas PositivelyState Ideas PositivelyState Ideas PositivelyState Ideas Positively

Chapter 2, Slide 21Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Found in

Some comic strips and songs, some commercials, some conversations, some IM and e-mail messages

Business messages, novels, most newspapers, and most magazines

Scientific writing, legal documents, scholarly books, formal essays, proclamations

Levels of Language UseLevels of Language Use

Chapter 2, Slide 22Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Characterized by

Incorrect grammar, unpredictable sentence structure, inappropriate punctuation, slang, vulgarisms

Correct grammar and punctuation, conversational tone, simple sentence structure, familiar words

Correct grammar, serious tone, complex sentence structure, polysyllabic words

Levels of Language UseLevels of Language Use

Chapter 2, Slide 23Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Levels of Language UseLevels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Examples

wastednabbad-mouthdough, breadstewed, plasteredI ain’thumongoustight

ruinedcatchcriticizemoneyintoxicated, drunkI’m notenormousfrugal

annihilatedapprehenddisparagecurrencyinebriatedI am notprodigiouspenurious

Chapter 2, Slide 24Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Quick Check

You have 15 financial plans from which to choose.

I have 15 different financial plans to offer my investors.

We want all newly hired employees to use our carpooling program for at least three months.

As a newly hired employee, you won’t have to drive to work for the first three months because you can carpool.

Revise to create reader benefits.Revise to create reader benefits.Revise to create reader benefits.Revise to create reader benefits.

Chapter 2, Slide 25Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Quick Check

I’m happy to welcome you to our staff.

The undersigned takes great pleasure in welcoming you to our staff.

Per your request, we are sending under separate cover your May invoice.

As you requested, we are sending your May invoice separately.

Revise the following to sound Revise the following to sound conversational. conversational.

Revise the following to sound Revise the following to sound conversational. conversational.

Chapter 2, Slide 26Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Hidden MessagesHidden MessagesHidden MessagesHidden Messages

Some words and phrases convey a negative and unpleasant tone. They may imply a hidden message that the writer does not intend. Think twice before using the following negative expressions.

Chapter 1, Slide 27Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 27Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Hidden Meaning

You are careless

But I don’t believe you

You are careless

It’s probably untrue

I am right

You are not smart

You are at fault

You are inefficient, stupid and careless

Negative Language

You overlooked

You state that

You failed to

You claim that

You are wrong

You do not understand

Your delay

You forgot to

Chapter 1, Slide 28Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 28Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

UseInclusiveLanguage

UseInclusiveLanguage

EmployPositive

Language

EmployPositive

Language

SoundConversational

SoundConversational

CultivateA “You”

View

CultivateA “You”

View

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Chapter 2, Slide 29Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Inclusive LanguageInclusive LanguageInclusive LanguageInclusive Language

Have you called a salesman?

Have you called a salesperson?

Try this:Instead of this:

Every executive has his own office.

All executives have their own offices.

Every executive has an office. All executives have offices. Every executive has his or

her own office.

This alternative is wordy and calls

attention to itself

Chapter 2, Slide 30Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Quick Check

These are better:

Tenants may move in on May 1.

As soon as we receive your credit information, we can ship your order.

Positive and Inclusive LanguagePositive and Inclusive LanguagePositive and Inclusive LanguagePositive and Inclusive Language

Marcello Luna is the new accountant.

No tenant may move in until May 1.

Revise these sentences:

Because you failed to include your credit information, we cannot ship your order.

Marcello Luna is the new Mexican accountant.

Chapter 1, Slide 31Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 31Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Draw onFamiliarWords

Draw onFamiliarWords

AdoptPlain

Language

AdoptPlain

Language

UseInclusiveLanguage

UseInclusiveLanguage

Use PositiveLanguage

Use PositiveLanguage

SoundConversational

SoundConversational

CultivateA “You”

View

CultivateA “You”

View

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Chapter 2, Slide 32Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Plain LanguagePlain LanguagePlain LanguagePlain Language

Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated language.

Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or her department representative submit, to the Department of Labor official described above, a comment on whether the proposed plan, in his or her considered view, meets the requirements of the 2003 law.

Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether the proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2003 law.

Chapter 2, Slide 33Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Familiar WordsFamiliar WordsFamiliar WordsFamiliar Words

encounter meetextrapolate project

obligatory required

terminate end

Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar words. Use short, simple, and common words whenever possible.

Less familiar words Simple alternatives

Chapter 1, Slide 34Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 34Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

ChooseCourteous Language

ChooseCourteous Language

UseInclusiveLanguage

UseInclusiveLanguage

Use PositiveLanguage

Use PositiveLanguage

SoundConversational

SoundConversational

CultivateA “You”

View

CultivateA “You”

View

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

SpotlightAudienceBenefits

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Create aCreate aMessage ThatMessage That

Suits YourSuits YourAudienceAudience

Draw on Familiar Words

Draw on Familiar Words

AdoptPlain

Language

AdoptPlain

Language

Chapter 2, Slide 35Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Try this:

Will you please complete this research by June 1.

You must complete this research by June 1.

Instead of this:

I am sick and tired of being the only one who removes jammed paper from the copier!

Let me show you how to remove jammed paper so that you can complete your copying.

Courteous LanguageCourteous LanguageCourteous LanguageCourteous Language

Avoid sounding demanding, preachy, or rude.

Chapter 2, Slide 36Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Quick Check

You may have difficulty ending the contract. OR: It may be difficult to end the contract.

You may encounter difficulty in terminating the contract.

As stipulated, we extrapolated the budget figures for two years.

As required, we projected the budget figures for two years.

Revise the following using Revise the following using simple languagesimple language

Revise the following using Revise the following using simple languagesimple language

Chapter 2, Slide 37Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Will you use workbooks during the required training period?

Will you utilize workbooks during the obligatory training period?

We anticipate that a majority of the alternative will be sufficiently fundamental to meet our requirements.

We expect that most of the choices will be sufficiently basic to meet our needs.

Revise the following using Revise the following using simple languagesimple language

Revise the following using Revise the following using simple languagesimple language

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