chairman miaow (a cat tale)
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people had the insight to distinguish between failure and refusal, especially in one who
seemed so young and bright. They had been deceived before, so they believed.
That would credit the children all children with rather more mindmessing ability
than Miss Evie could allow or cope with. Applying it to what she had learnt since, she
was seriously discomfited.
A boy had thrown a cat off a roof. It was entirely possible that he did not understand
that animals hurt. How old was he? Four? Six? Eight? And in any case, did animals hurt
like people did? She could understand the confusion that could block out all feeling.
In her it came out as fear, and in a specifically female form. She had never been afraidof everything, nor did this fear have a name. Sometimes in times of tension or stress, or
when she had to make a decision or take responsibility, the fear superimposed itself on
faces, even those she loved. Perhaps as compensation, she felt she had to love everybody.
In practice, she ended up tolerating them, and feeling them more as them and never, it
seemed, feeling part of us or, especially, whole within an us.
Madame Madame was the visitor You must not tell me stories like this when
you are pregnant. You could get so emotional that you might miscarry. And what
dreadful things to say before a little boy.
That boy Madame explained gently is the son of my midwife. As for Vladimir
she indicated the slim, blonde child he has heard a lot of worse things, most of them
in the past year.
Yes, my dear. But if it were me I should not like to have to be served by a woman
whose son who does such appalling things, Miss Evie said. And it is a bad influence
a bad example.
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She heard a rubbish bin tip over with all its papers, wrappers, cans and so on. It was
not long before she identified the culprit. In the morning light things and people
werent so bad. She had had to cope with a lot of strange and amusing behaviour.
Eveline, Wladek, Madame said, calling them both like children, Id like you to look
at some cats.
Miss Evie wanted to call her friend out out on it. Photographs were, perhaps, the
classic displacement activity. They communicated so much about life and the world
and, as they were meant to do, took her mind out of the rubbish. Otherwise she would be
scrambling to get out of her bed and clean the whole thing up, making it much biggerthan it really was.
Miss Evie wanted to know so much about the photographs. Were they taken on one of
her friends endless traveling trips? Were they colour or black and white? And most of
all, perhaps, where did the light and shade fit in? She saw how the cats behaved and
misbehaved in the frame. She tried to restrain her extreme reactions, which the boy
took great delight in. And she joked about not being such a great model of restraint at
other times. Being in front of the classroom was a performance, mostly, and with people
she trusted and connected with, it was bearable. There were even times when she hit
heights of satisfaction.
Susanne, my lily, do you notice that the cats eye is all washed out? What is the
photography term saturated? You know so much more than I do.
You know your own eyes. Though if a certain part of the brain was knocked out
during your swimming accident, you may or may not know. Tell me what else you can
see. Describe and dont exaggerate, Madame Gilbert said.
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So Miss Evie described the images. She still felt the background and the foreground
jump out at her in what otherwise might have been unthreatening pictures. There were
pictures of Madames clever sister the large piano stood out on the wooden stage, as did
the black and white stripes and the v-neck that Adriana had chosen to wear that evening.
There were a few pictures of meetings and parties which had happened in the previous
few weeks, when Miss Evie had been in and out of the rehabilitation centre resting up
and exercise, as well as learning to live in a world without red and green and certain
shades thereof.
Her wardrobe had been reduced to certain fashionable neutrals and their variations always an excuse to go shopping a rationalism that caused Madame to cut back with
Why should any woman need an excuse? such as beige, navy, off-white and of course
brown. Her latest passion had become various cat spot patterns such as leopard, which
had become fashionable, in Paris at least, during the last year.
They talked a great deal about music, the lack of which she had been suffering. Her
governess had been very musical, particularly in the communal sense. Miss Evie was able
to get dressed for the mid-morning in her cycling clothes. She loved to cycle, especially
in the summer, and could go for quite a long way. She would also need protective
clothes, like orange and fluorescent yellow. Fortunately, she could see the signs and read
and obey the pictures. Thank goodness for the European standardization and the defined
paths which allowed her to see much of nature.
Madame helped her get into her shoes which happily were Velcroed, as shoelaces
too often got into the pedals and sign the book. They also packed a bag full of food and
money, as well as water.
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Miss Evie remembered her sunglasses and her foldable cane, which was at the end of
her bed. It was white with blue stripes. The sunglasses were a modestly shaded brown, tro
level out her world while the sun was shining.
And let us hope the car doesnt produce sickness in you, Miss Evie said. It was
probably one of those modern convenances one could do without, especially in this age
of concern for the environment and overweight children and teenagers. Fortunately in the
summer, the girls got enough exercise with all the sports and training they would do.
Evie noticed her hands for a while, and saw that they were denuded of colour, apart
from the spotty and freckly tan that had developed. Her fingers were still light, and herwriting hand had blisters on it, especially where she held her instrument chalk and
permanent marker were no stronger than pen for this, which was always the bane of her
life as far as work on the board was concerned. As for writing papers of any length, it was
pure sabotage, and often blood was burst on the ink and paper. And yet if she rested , she
would lose her concentration.
She had then taken to wearing gloves so that her hands would not hurt on her cycle.
She was no mean hand with the brake after a few skinned knees and other such
adventures. The bicycle was five speeds at least, and was easy to shift. A fit woman
might get enjoyment out of it, and stretch a few muscles and get her heart pumping. And
best of all, it gave Evie freedom and joy.
There were many trees, regularly planted in a line. There were shrubs, some with a
special smell, like lemon or lavender. Oh, beautiful! Vladimir cried with his hands in
the air rather than by his side. His voice caught the sky. He and Madame were lying on a
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shagged country rug with a two-browned tartan, looking at the various clouds and their
movements.
You could spend a whole day doing this, Miss Evie said, when she got off the
bicycle and did some cool-down stretches, sitting perpendicular to the rug.
Someone said, Watch out, theres cat piss. Miss Evie gave a stern look and
disapproving body language. But in private, she wondered how a cat could walk along
this common and declare it their territory. There were many competing claims, both
human and feline.
She smelt the ground and registered it was not a joke. Some people liked to get theirkicks by winding her up. The unmistakable acrid smell sent her vomiting, or at least her
throat was doing some imitations of it. She wanted to hide in the shrubs as her face
blushed. She could only feel the heat. It was so much more intense than the suns heat
at least it felt so. She rubbed her face to get it cool again, and breathed deep breaths into a
brown paper bag of the type used for school and corporate lunches. There. Thats much
better, she said as the wind came by and the branches swayed in her direction and the
bird flew by. And look at that bird and her feathers. She started up a monologue about
it.
Out of the blue, Vladimir said, The girls want to know, all of them, when you are
coming back to school. She nodded and said little more than, I see. She did not feel in
the mood for opening and closing circles today. She just wanted to have a great time: let
those who were employed achieve the goals and have the challenge that came. Then he
wanted to know when she would put the bicycle back, and who it belonged to.
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Evie wondered how the situation would eventuate, or degenerate, as she very much
feared. She knew she was considered a soft touch, and tried not to aggravate it or allow it
to feed into her insecurities which children, especially, specialized in doing if you
allowed yourself to blame them. And even if he was only doing what he had seen done,
or what had been done to him, she still could not allow it. Until someone showed him a
better way, or it was no longer reinforcing, he was going to get gains out of it and keep
up thinking new ways to do it.
Would something like cat urine be exciting to him? Or would he imitate it, with
consequences? It must be quite arousing. But it was often little more than a nasty smellon shoes the last vestiges of wildness to be washed off when you went places.
Unlike the other thing and Evie did not often think of her bowels it was not so easily
avoidable, and was often met after the fact.
That was not the most disturbing thing that cats did, however. The three were in
silence as they looked at the last pictures. Vladimir was trying to understand, and curled
up from body to body. I think I am going to cry, he said, rather as another boy might
have said, I am going to the toilet.
His face looked puffed and serious. Madame Susanne hugged him and he nestled into
her. Then Evie remembered her bicycle, and looked up at the clouds in the sky. They
were both amused to see her point her cane up. Susanne filled in and told stories of the
dead cat, which she had been looking after, at some risk to herself.
The orange moggy was something of a feline terrorist and a law onto himself, like
most of his breed. A terrorist cat? Vladimir repeated with incredulity in his voice.
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A person or a being who inspires fear, Evie interpolated. Wladek knew what all sorts
of fear was, and had had his experiences with those who inspired it in him, both before
and after he was able to speak about it.
So a cat is an animal- Vladimirs rounded middle consonants making the word
incomprehensible to strangers, though in the sentence they might have seen what he
meant and an animal is a being?
With a big capital B, Susanne said.
Like a G for God? Vladimir said.
Yes, a cat most certainly is an animal. But Susanne, to use the language from theheadlines! It is a wonder that our animal friends do not get into there more often.
It was usually when they were in a show or they had been abandoned by their owners,
which happened more and more often now the families were up to their eyes in Asian
stocks and bonds. Or some sensational cruelty or indulgence would hit the media.
Unfortunately, we do seem to talk and think in headlines! Too often, thats all the
paper that I see and remember. And I must admit, they use shock tactics more often than I
would like. They stick in the mind, Susanne said. She was taking on Evies point of
view, and Vladimir was playing beside her, quietly. He was looking at the trees and birds,
with a view to chasing them.
So tell me. Was this creature of yours ever mistreated?
So fashionable, Eveline! Susanne said, It would have been way down deep, as the
American children say. But bad behaviour is bad behaviour, and as he was a danger to me
and my foetus Susanne was about a month or six weeks gone, depending on who you
spoke to not to mention my barely immunized three-year-old who should have had
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all his shots while in the country we had to euthanize him. For his own good and for
us.
She put an arm on Evie to make sure the older woman was not getting hysterical.
But surely that is against your moral code to make such an expedient decision! And
you were trying so hard to teach Wladek not to be cruel to animals. I wonder what he will
now take out of it.
That is a separate programme. He is now learning to take care of plants, and his
grandfather Roberts father Stewart has now got into aquaria. Or perhaps you did
not see. Anyway, Maggie Gilbert is the cat lover among us. It was she who got me intothe cat fanciers society. Now come theres a bracing wind and we can have a good
conversation. I dont know how private your present rooms are, but this is something I
know we both feel very strongly about. Old Marmie-Blarmey dont ask! lived a long
life.
Evie gave a sigh of relief. This was good to know. She felt something on her face
between a frown and a pout. She knew she would be completely plastered and floored if
this turned into a really intellectual debate Susanne could take such things into the
stratosphere. Her own feeling that this was Osciewim in the veterinary office was
difficult to shake off but she just refrained from saying so, though she might resort to it
in joke. She respected her friends right in the normal course of matters.
And who was she to advise, Dont make decisions based on your hormones? She
herself had to be careful. She must not suspect Susanne of seeing danger everywhere
there was to see and instances where it may not have been. Who was she to question
Susannes moral code, especially in this respect? No, she must try, whatever her own
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feeling, to see the situation from her point of view. And get some other eyes and ears if
necessary.
I am glad that Maggie is a cat fancier. Its good to know that your sister-in-law and
you share interests that she is prepared to share with you. It gets all the communication
juices going and I am sure, makes things easier at family gatherings, Miss Evie said.
She must remember to ask about the first anniversary and also about the house move,
which Susanne had been pursuing between terms and on weekends.
Yes, I still find them a minefield, for several reasons, not all of them which I shall
reveal to you. I have learnt that it is more to do with them than with me. Nevertheless, wehave crossed several milestones, and thats reassuring. Susanne said, Check your watch.
I, at any rate, must get back soon to the mess hall. Otherwise, they will be wondering
what has happened to me.
Evie did check her timepiece, pushing it up across her arm. Her eyes looked and felt
like fried eggs, especially as the expanding yolk was concerned. Susanne put Vladimir in
the harness part of her own bicycle, and Evie was left to collect hers.
I, too, will be glad to return to school, when it is advised for me to do so. Not that I
follow advice- Evie said with her jaunty laugh though I have liked things as they are
now. The only thing is that the nights are so lonely, without man or beast to hug or for
them to hug me.
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