champagne for one - nerowolfe.com filenero wolfe "champagne for one" fade in: int. boudoir...

NERO WOLFE

"Champagne for One"

FADE IN:

INT. BOUDOIR - DAY

Our CREDITS play over A MONTAGE of FOUR YOUNG WOMEN dressingfor an elegant night out.

-- A SILK STOCKING is drawn slowly up a slender leg.

-- A CAMISOLE drops down over a slender midriff.

-- BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK is carefully applied to an alluringset of lips.

-- A GARTER slides into place.

-- POLISH is lovingly painted on long nails.

And finally: A WOMAN'S HAND grabs a small bottle markedPOISON. The bottle drops into a purse, and the purse issnapped shut.

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - DAY

Archie is at his desk OILING HIS TWO MARLEY .38s. As wehear his voice-over, he switches to OILING HIS TYPEWRITERwith the SAME OIL.

ARCHIE'S VOICENero Wolfe is a creature of habit. Every morning, from nine until eleven,he tends to his 10,000 orchids andI, Archie Goodwin, his confidentialsecretary and legman extraordinaire,tend to business. And since therewasn't any business to tend to, Iwas preparing for action... if andwhen it ever came.

The PHONE RINGS. He answers it.

ARCHIENero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwinspeaking.

The caller's response is BARELY INTELLIGIBLE.

BYNE'S VOICEHello there. This is Byne. DinkyByne.

ARCHIEClear your throat or sneeze orsomething, and try again.

2.

And we INTERCUT with DINKY BYNE, who is talking on the phonein his apartment. Dinky is PINCHING HIS NOSE and PRETENDINGTO BE SICK.

BYNEThat wouldn't help. My tubes areclogged. Tubes. Clogged. Understand? Dinky Byne -- B-Y-N-E.

ARCHIEOh, hello. I won't ask how you are,hearing how you sound. My sympathy.

BYNEI need it. I need more than sympathy,too. I need help. Will you do me ahell of a favor?

ARCHIEI might. If I can do it sittingdown and it doesn't cost me my teeth.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAustin, aka "Dinky" to his friends,was faking it, but I was curiouswhy, so I strung him along. I knewhim from an old case and was hopingthis would lead to another one.

BYNEIt won't cost you a thing. You knowmy Aunt? Louise Robilotti?

ARCHIE'S VOICEThat was the old case.

ARCHIEOnly professionally. Mr. Wolferecovered some jewelry for her. Shedidn't like paying the fee and shedidn't like me.

BYNEI suppose you know about the dinnerparty she gives every year forGrantham House?

ARCHIEThe charity her late, first husbandAlbert Grantham set up for unwedmothers?

BYNEYeah. Well, this is a social thing,to introduce to higher society fourof the unwed mothers who have leftthe care of Grantham house.

(MORE)

3.

BYNE (CONT'D)It's tonight, and I was supposed tobe one of the four chevaliers, butI'm too sick to go. You'd be perfectto take my place. You'll know exactlyhow to treat the lady guests.

ARCHIEYour aunt didn't like me.

BYNEShe won't mind. She'd hate havingonly three chevaliers even more. Black tie, seven o'clock, you knowthe address. I'll guarantee nothingwill be served that will break yourteeth. How about it, Archie?

As Archie mulls it over, NERO WOLFE comes, goes to his desk,and starts sorting through his mail.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI kind of liked the idea. It wouldincrease my knowledge of human nature. It would be interesting to see howthey handled me and how I handledmyself.

ARCHIEAll right, I accept.

BYNEI'll do the same for you one day.

ARCHIEYou can't. I haven't got abillionaire aunt.

At the mention of money, Nero Wolfe's eyebrows raise just abit, but he keeps his attention on his mail. Archie hangsup the phone and smiles as he JOTS DOWN A NOTE.

ARCHIE'S VOICEMr. Wolfe pretended like he didn'thear, but I knew he had. It takes alot of cash to feed 10,000 orchids,not to mention himself.

Archie hands the note to Wolfe.

WOLFEWhat is this?

ARCHIEWhere you can reach me this eveningfrom seven o'clock on.

4.

WOLFEMr. Hewit is coming this evening tobring a Dendrobium and look at theRenanthera. You said you would bethere.

ARCHIEI know, but this is an emergency. Ihave to stand in for a sick friend,Austin Byne, at Mrs. Robilotti'sdinner party for the unwed mothersof Grantham House. Do you know aboutthe event?

WOLFEYes. Buffoonery. A burlesque ofhospitality. Do you mean you areabetting it?

ARCHIEIt will give me a fresh outlook. Itwill harden my nerves. It willbroaden my mind.

Wolfe's eyes narrow.

WOLFEArchie.

ARCHIEYes, sir?

WOLFEDo I ever intrude in your privateaffairs?

ARCHIEYes, sir. Frequently. But you thinkyou don't, so go right ahead.

WOLFEYou demean yourself. These creaturesare invited for an obvious purpose. It is hoped that they will meet aman who will be moved to pursue theacquaintance and who will end bylegitimating, if not the infantalready in being, the future produceof the womb. Therefore yourattendance will be an imposture andyou know it.

ARCHIEIf that were the purpose, I wouldsay hooray for Mrs. Robilotti and Iwouldn't go. But it's not aboutmatch-making.

(MORE)

5.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)The idea is that it will buck thegirls up to spend an evening withthe cream and get a taste of caviar,and sit on a chair made by Congreve,and--

WOLFE(interrupts:)

Congreve didn't make chairs.

ARCHIEI know he didn't, but I needed aname and that one popped in. I won'tbe perpetuating a fraud, but don'tbe too sure I won't meet the lady ofmy doom.

Archie goes, Wolfe returning to his letters.

WOLFEPfui.

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Archie comes in, looking very dashing in his finest duds. FRITZ is preparing dinner.

ARCHIECross me off for dinner. I'm doingmy good deed for the year and gettingit over with.

FRITZThat's too bad. I'm serving vealbirds in casserole with mushroomsand white sauce.

ARCHIEYou may not be as great an expert onwomen as you are on food, but I wouldappreciate some suggestions on howto act this evening.

Fritz turns around, truly stunned.

FRITZAct with women? You? Ha! Withyour thousand triumphs, advice fromme? Archie, that is upside down.

ARCHIEThanks for the plug, but these womenare special. Unwed mothers fromGrantham House being given a tasteof society.

6.

FRITZNo!

ARCHIEWhy no?

FRITZYou, Archie?

ARCHIEWhy not me?

FRITZIt will ruin everything. They willall be back at Grantham House inless than a year.

ARCHIEThat's not the kind of advice I waslooking for.

Fritz aims a knife at him and smiles.

FRITZI know you well, Archie, as well asyou know me, maybe. This is justtalk and I enjoy it. But you willgo there and act as you feel. Youalways do.

Fritz returns to his cooking, adding something new to hismix.

ARCHIEWhat is that?

FRITZMarjoram. I'm trying it.

ARCHIEDon't tell Wolfe and see if he spotsit.

FRITZThanks for the advice.

ARCHIEAny time. Don't hesitate to ask.

Archie leaves, no better off than he was when he came in,and we:

CUT TO:

INT. GRANTHAM MANSION - NIGHT

As the BUTLER, HACKETT, takes Archie's coat.

7.

ARCHIEHow's it going, Mr. Hackett?

HACKETTVery well, thank you, Mr. Goodwin.

Archie looks past Hackett and sees Mrs. LOUISE ROBILOTTI,60s, talking with some other guests. She's rich and snooty,yet still attractive.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWhoever had designed her had preferredangles to curves and missed noopportunities, and the passing years,now adding up close to sixty, hadmade no alterations.

Archie turns to Hackett.

ARCHIEHow is Mrs. Robilotti these days?

HACKETTAs kind and warm-hearted as youremember, Mr. Goodwin.

Archie smiles, appreciating the warning, but before he has achance to prepare for it, Mrs. Robilotti is suddenly rightat his side.

MRS. ROBILOTTIMr. Goodwin. My nephew Austin Bynesays he phoned you and gave you thedetails.

ARCHIEI guess he did.

MRS. ROBILOTTIYou guess he did?

ARCHIEThe voice said it was Byne, but itcould have been a seal trying tobark.

MRS. ROBILOTTIHe has laryngitis. He told you so. Apparently you haven't changed any. Of course it is not unusual, oninviting a dinner guest, to cautionhim about his conduct, but for thisoccasion some care is required. Youappreciate that?

ARCHIECertainly.

8.

MRS. ROBILOTTITact and discretion are necessary.

ARCHIEI brought some along.

MRS. ROBILOTTIAnd, of course, some refinement.

ARCHIEI borrowed some.

She eyes him coldly.

ARCHIE'S VOICEShe still didn't like me, but shedidn't have much of a choice, unlessshe wanted an empty seat at the table.

MRS. ROBILOTTIVery well. Come with me.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI knew then that I was right. Itwas going to be a delightful evening. For me, any way.

And with that a smiling Archie follows her inside.

WIPE TO:

INT. GRANTHAM MANSION - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Everyone is seated around the table and engaged in livelyconversation. We will "formally" meet each guest as Archiedescribes them in voice-over. Whoever we don't introducehere we will meet very soon. But for the sake ofchoreography, FAITH USHER is seated across from Archie, withBEVERLY KENT (a MAN) on her left and CECIL GRANTHAM to herright. On Archie's left is ROSE TUTTLE. The others -- Mrs.Robilotti, ROBERT ROBILOTTI, CELIA GRANTHAM, HELEN YARMIS,ETHEL VARR, EDWIN LAIDLAW, and PAUL SCHUSTER -- fill theremaining seats.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI decided the best way to treat thegirls was as an older brother wholiked sisters and liked to kid them --with tact, discretion and refinement,of course.

TIGHT on HELEN YARMIS.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Helen Yarmis was tall and slender, alittle too slender, with a wide curvedmouth that would have been a real

(MORE)

9.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)asset if she kept the corners up. She was on her dignity and apparentlyhad some.

TIGHT on ETHEL VARR.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Ethel Varr was the one I would havepicked for my doom, if I had beenshopping. She was not a head turner,but she had one of those complexfaces that you can't stop lookingat.

TIGHT on FAITH USHER.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)I would have picked Faith Usher formy sister because she looked likeshe needed a brother more than theothers. She was very attractive,but was doing her best to cancel heradvantages by letting her shoulderssag and keeping her face so tight.

TIGHT on ROSE TUTTLE.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Rose Tuttle showed no signs of needinga brother at all. She had been borncheerful and it would take more thanan accidental baby to smother it.

ROSEGoodwin? That's your name?

ARCHIERight. Archie Goodwin.

ROSEMrs. Robilotti told me I would sitbetween Mr. Edwin Laidlaw and Mr.Austin Byne, but now your name'sGoodwin. The other day I was tellinga friend of mine about coming tothis party and she said there oughtto be unmarried fathers here too,and you seem to have changed yourname. Are you an unmarried father?

ARCHIEI'm half of that. I'm unmarried,but not, as far as I know, a father. Mr Byne has a cold and asked me tofill in for him. His bad luck andmy good luck.

10.

She smiles, flattered.

ROSEI was telling my friend that if allsociety men are like the ones thatwere here the other time, we weren'tmissing anything. But I guess theyaren't. Anyway, you aren't. I'mgoing to tell my friend that.

ARCHIEI'm afraid I'm not society. I'm aworking man.

ROSEOh, that explains it. What kind ofwork?

ARCHIEYou might call it trouble-shooting. I work for a man named Nero Wolfe. You may have heard of him.

ROSEYou're a detective!

ARCHIEI am when I'm working, but not thisevening. Now I'm just enjoyingmyself.

Rose is served some oysters and cheerfully turns her attentionto those, Archie forgotten, so he turns to Ethel Varr.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)I hope you won't mind a personalremark.

ETHELI'll try not to. I can't promiseuntil I hear it.

ARCHIEI'll take a chance. I want to explainwhy you might have caught me staringat you.

ETHELMaybe you'd better not. Maybe itwould let me down. Maybe I'd ratherthink you stared just because youwanted to.

ARCHIEYou can think that, too. I was tryingto catch you looking the same waytwice.

(MORE)

11.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)If you turn your head only a littleone way or the other, it's a differentface. I've never seen a face thatchanges as much as yours. Has anyoneever mentioned that to you?

She parts her lips, closes them. He's touched a nerve.

ETHELYou know, I'm only nineteen yearsold.

ARCHIEI was nineteen once. Some ways Iliked it, and some ways it wasterrible.

ETHELYes, it is. I haven't learned howto take things yet, but I suppose Iwill. Yes, someone did mention thatto me once. About my face. Morethan once.

ARCHIEI wouldn't have brought it up if Ihad known there was anything touchyabout it. I think you ought to geteven. I'm touchy about horses becauseonce I caught my foot in the stirrupwhen I was getting off, so you mightwant to try that--

She turns away from him. End of conversation. Archie frowns. Strike one.

ARCHIE'S VOICESo much for tact, discretion andrefinement.

WIPE TO:

INT. GRANTHAM MANSION - DINING ROOM - LATER

The butler pulls back Mrs. Robilotti's chair while Archieand the three other chevaliers do the same for the otherwomen, then sit down again. We then go around the tableonce more and "formally" meet the men as Archie describesthem. The butler pours coffee for each man.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAfter dinner, the women left tofreshen up before the dance and themen waited around because that'swhat men do.

TIGHT on ROBERT ROBILOTTI.

12.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Mrs. Louise Grantham, widow, hadacquired Robert Robilotti in Italyand brought him back with her luggage.

TIGHT on BEVERLY KENT.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Beverly Kent, of the Rhode IslandKents, if that means anything toyou. It didn't to me. He followedthe family tradition and went intodiplomatic service.

TIGHT on EDWIN LAIDLAW.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Edwin Laidlaw used to be pretty loosearound town but three years ago hisfather died and he inherited tenmillion dollars, which he used tobuy a book publishing company.

TIGHT on PAUL SCHUSTER.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Paul Schuster turned down a clerkshipwith a Supreme Court justice to joina Wall Street law firm instead,trading the honor for a shot at alot more money.

TIGHT on CECIL GRANTHAM.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)Cecil Grantham, Louise's son, was ina trust controlled by his mother andhad to watch his budget. Supposedly,he wanted to do something to earnsome money but just couldn't findany spare time.

CECILThe last two hours are the hardest.

ROBERT(to butler:)

Brandy, Hackett.

The butler stops pouring coffee to look at him.

HACKETTThe cabinet is locked, sir.

ROBERTI know it is, but you have a key.

13.

HACKETTNo sir, Mrs. Robilotti has it.

CECIL(laughs:)

Get a hatchet.

The butler returns to pouring coffee.

KENTA little deprivation will be goodfor us, Mr. Robilotti. Afterall, weall understood the protocol when weaccepted the invitation.

PAULThat's not what "protocol" means. I'm surprised at you, Kent. You'llnever be an ambassador if you don'tknow what protocol is.

KENTWhat do you know about it?

PAULNot much about it, but I know whatit is, and you used it wrong.

EDWINI can settle this. Now that I'm apublisher, I'm the last word on words. You're both right. Protocol can bea document, an agreement, or it canbe rules of etiquette. This affairdoes seem to require a specialetiquette.

CECILI'm for Paul. Locking up the boozedoesn't come under etiquette. Itcomes under tyranny.

Kent turns to Archie.

KENTWhat about you, Goodwin? You're adetective, so maybe you can detectthe answer.

ARCHIEGet a dictionary. There's oneupstairs in the library. But ifwhat you want is brandy, the bestplan would be for one of us to go toa liquor store. There's one at thecorner of 82nd and Madison. We couldtoss up.

14.

EDWINThe practical man. The man of action.

CECILYou'll notice that he knows wherethe dictionary is and where the liquorstore is. Detectives know everything.

(to Archie:)By the way, are you hereprofessionally?

ARCHIEIf I were, would I say?

CECILWhy, I suppose you'd say if youweren't.

ARCHIEAnd if I weren't what would I say?

ROBERT(to Archie:)

Touche.(to everyone:)

Shall we join the mothers for thedance? If you please, gentlemen?

And as they all rise, we:

WIPE TO:

INT. GRANTHAM MANSION - NIGHT

There's a LIVE BAND and just about everyone is dancing. Archie is dancing with Helen.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI was surprised to see the live bandfor such a small gathering. A recordplayer and speaker might have beenexpected, but for the mothers, spareno expense.

Robert Robilotti cuts in, leaving Archie partnerless. Allthe other "mothers" are dancing. That's when Archie seesCELIA GRANTHAM heading for him.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)I'd met Celia Grantham, Cecil's twinsister, four times, three of them inthis house during the jewelry case. The fourth was a date to the FlamingoClub. She was a good dancer but shewas also a very good drinker and Iwanted to be able to go back to theclub some day.

15.

CELIAHow are you going to avoid dancingwith me?

ARCHIEEasy. Say my feet hurt and take myshoes off.

CELIAYou wouldn't, would you?

ARCHIEI could.

CELIAYou really would, just to make mesuffer. Will I never be in yourarms again? Must I carry my heartacheto the grave?

Before Archie has to make an awkward choice, Rose Tuttleapproaches.

CELIA (CONT'D)(to Rose:)

If you're after Mr. Goodwin, I don'tblame you. He's the only one herewho can dance.

ROSEI'm not after him to dance. I justwant to tell him something.

CELIAGo ahead.

ROSEIt's private.

Celia laughs.

CELIAThat's the way to do it. That wouldhave taken me at least a hundredwords, and you did it in two.

Celia goes to the bar, where Hackett is OPENING CHAMPAGNE. Archie offers Rose a chair.

ROSEThere's something I thought you shouldknow because you're a detective.

ARCHIEI'm not here as a detective, MissTuttle.

16.

ROSEBut you are a detective, and ifsomething awful happened and I hadn'ttold anybody I would blame myself.

ARCHIEWhy should something awful happen?

ROSEHelen Yarmis saw inside Faith Usher'spurse. Faith still has that bottleof cyanide in there, the one shecarried at Grantham House. Faithtold us then she hadn't decidedwhether to kill herself or not butshe might so she kept it handy.

ARCHIEIs that all?

ROSEIf you knew Faith like I do, this iswhere she'd do it if she ever does. It's in that bag over there--

She motions to a BLACK LEATHER BAG on a chair.

ARCHIEI see it. Just forget it. I'llmake sure that nothing awful happens. Will you dance?

Rose nods and off they go, passing Edwin Laidlaw and FaithUsher, who Archie is already dutifully watching.

EDWINWill you dance with me, Miss Usher?

FAITHNo.

EDWINI would be honored.

FAITH(firmly:)

No.

And she marches off, past Archie and Rose, who start to dance. As they do, Archie keeps his eye on Faith and the bag. WeDISSOLVE into a MONTAGE under Archie's voice over.

MONTAGE

17.

WE SEE ARCHIE DANCING WITH VARIOUS WOMEN (ROSE, HELEN, ANDFINALLY ETHEL) WHILE KEEPING HIS EYE ON FAITH AND HER BAG.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAs a dancing partner, Rose was not abargain. She was equipped for itphysically, but she danced cheerfully. You can't dance cheerfully. Dancingis too important. It can be wild orsolemn or lewd or art for art's sake,but it can't be cheerful.

WE SEE CECIL ASKS FAITH TO DANCE, AND SHE ACCEPTS.

ARCHIE'S VOICEHelen would have been a good dancerif she wasn't so solemn. She was agood size for me, too, about levelwith my eyes. And the closer yougot to her wide, curved mouth, thebetter you liked it, when the cornerswere up.

ARCHIE IS DANCING WITH ETHEL. FAITH IS AT HER SEAT, FIFTEENFEET AWAY FROM THE CHAIR THE BAG IS ON. CECIL APPROACHESWITH A CHAMPAGNE GLASS IN EACH HAND GIVES ONE TO HER. SHETAKES A SIP.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI danced with Ethel and was tactful,discreet and refined. I didn't stepon her toes once and I certainlydidn't say anything nice about herface.

MONTAGE ENDS as Faith goes stiff, shakes all over, jerkshalf-way out of her seat and collapses, making a noise that'sHALF SCREAM and HALF MOAN. The music STOPS. Everyone stares. Celia runs to a PHONE. Archie rushes over.

BACK TO SCENE

as Archie reaches Faith, her CONVULSIONS STOP and she goesSTIFF. She's DEAD.

ARCHIEIs someone calling a doctor?

ROBERTCelia's phoning. Why don't you dosomething?

ARCHIEI can't, she's dead.

ROBERTThen what do you need a doctor for?

18.

ARCHIENobody is dead until a doctor saysso -- it's the law.

Everyone reacts to the starting news that Faith is dead. Mrs. Robilotti, however, appears enraged. Archie turns toRose.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)Rose, go guard that bag. Don't touchit. Stick there and don't take youreyes off it.

(to Robert:)Do I phone the police or do you?

ROBERTThe police?

MRS. ROBILOTTINo, he will not. I give the ordershere. I'll phone the police myselfwhen I decide it's necessary.

Archie looks around at everyone and finall focuses on theBANDLEADER.

ARCHIEDo you want to stay here all night?

BAND LEADERNo.

ARCHIEI think this woman was murdered andif the police do too, you know whatthat means, so the sooner they gethere the better. See if there's anofficer on the street or use thephone in the hall.

BAND LEADERYes, sir.

And off the band leader goes. Mrs. Robilotti moves to headhim off.

MRS. ROBILOTTIHalt!

But he just sidesteps her and goes on, not bothering to argue. Mrs. Robilotti, furious, immediately addresses her men.

MRS. ROBILOTTI (CONT'D)Robbie! Cecil! Stop him!

When they fail to react, she wheels on Archie.

19.

MRS. ROBILOTTI (CONT'D)Leave my house!

ARCHIEI would love to. If I did, the copswould bring me back. And anyoneelse who tries to leave.

Robert takes his wife's arm.

ROBERTIt's no use, Louise. Come and sitdown.

She yanks her arm free and marches away. Robert turns toArchie.

ROBERT (CONT'D)Why do you think she was murdered?

PAULI was going to ask that, Goodwin. She had a bottle of poison in herbag.

ARCHIEHow did you know she did?

PAULOne of the guests told me. MissVarr.

ARCHIEOne of them told me, too. But Istill think she was murdered, and Iwill save my reason for the police.

Who arrive right at that moment. TWO UNIFORMED OFFICERSrush in, trailed by Hackett and the band leader.

OFFICER #1Mr. Robilotti?

Robert Robilotti steps forward.

ROBERTI'm Robert Robilotti.

OFFICER #1Is this your house? We got--

MRS. ROBILOTTI(interrupts:)

No.

She shoves her husband aside and confronts the officer.

20.

MRS. ROBILOTTI (CONT'D)It's my house.

And on Archie, realizing it's going to be a very, very longnight, we

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - MORNING

Wolfe is reading the NEWSPAPER as Archie enters, still wearinglast night's clothes. Archie slumps into a chair, exhausted.

WOLFEYou are disheveled.

ARCHIEYes, sir. Also disgruntled. Alsodisslumbered. Do the papers sayFaith Usher was murdered?

WOLFENo, that she died of poison and thepolice are investigating. Your nameis not mentioned. Are you involved?

ARCHIEUp to my chin.

Archie begins to explain, but we don't hear it. We get hisvoice-over instead.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI told him all about the guests, andabout the cyanide in Faith's bag,and that I was watching both her,and her bag, most of the evening. Iknew she hadn't put the cyanide inher drink, but I was the only onewho thought so.

ARCHIEMrs. Robilotti would like to chokeme and some of the others would beglad to lend a hand. A suicide at aparty would be bad enough, buthomicide is murder.

WOLFEIndeed. I suppose you consideredwhether it would be well to reserveyour conclusion.

Archie smiles, genuinely touched.

21.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI appreciated that -- he wasn'tquestioning my eyesight or myattention. It was a real tributeand, the way I felt, I needed it.

ARCHIEI considered it, but since Rose askedme to watch the bag, the police wouldknow that I knew more than I wastelling.

WOLFEI take it we can expect no profitableengagement.

ARCHIEGod knows, not from Mrs. Robilotti.

WOLFEVery well. You may remember myremarks yesterday.

ARCHIEYou said I would demean myself. Youdidn't say I would get involved inan unprofitable homicide.

The doorbell rings. Archie goes to get it.

INT. BROWNSTONE - HALLWAY - DAY

Archie opens the door for INSPECTOR CRAMER, who looks astired as Archie.

ARCHIEDon't you ever sleep, Lieutenant?

CRAMERNot much.

Cramer goes right past Archie towards Wolfe's office.

ARCHIECramer!

Cramer turns, stunned.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)You know damn well he hates to haveanyone march in on him, even you, orespecially you, and you only make itharder. Isn't it me you want?

CRAMERYes, but I want Wolfe to hear it.

22.

ARCHIEThat's obvious, or you would havesent for me instead of coming. Ifyou will kindly--

Wolfe's bellow comes out from the office.

WOLFEConfound it, come in here!

Cramer wheels around and goes in, Archie follows.


Wolfe is still at his desk.

WOLFEI cannot read in an uproar. What doyou want?

CRAMERI know Goodwin is your man and Iwant you to understand the situation.

(to Archie:)Nothing anyone else says rules outsuicide, and there's a lot that pointsto it. I'm saying if it wasn't foryou, suicide would be the finalverdict.

ARCHIEYeah, I'm the fly in the soup. Idon't like it any better than youdo. Flies don't like being swampedin soup, especially when it's hot.

CRAMERFaith Usher has been talking aboutkilling herself for a while, she hadcyanide in her purse, and there wascyanide in her drink. What's themystery?

ARCHIEI have good eyes, she was only 20feet away from me. When she tookher champagne glass by the stem fromGrantham, her left hand was in herlap and she didn't lift it. Shenever had a chance to put the cyanidein.

CRAMERSo you're saying Cecil Grantham killedher?

It's a rhetorical question, Cramer doesn't wait for an answer.

23.

CRAMER (CONT'D)The two glasses Grantham took werepoured by the butler. Grantham hadone glass in each hand, held by thestem, so how did he put the poisonin? If it was the butler, how didhe know which glass she'd get?

ARCHIEI didn't say I knew who did it orhow or why.

CRAMERSo you won't discuss it.

ARCHIEWhat are we doing?

CRAMER(to Wolfe:)

I'm going to tell you what I think.

WOLFEYou often have.

CRAMERI think Rose Tuttle told Goodwin towatch the bag. He told her to forgetit that he would make sure nothinghappened. Well, something did. Youknow him and so do I. You know howmuch he likes himself. He says shewas murdered to cover the fact hebungled it.

WOLFEArchie?

ARCHIENobody likes me better than I do,but I'm not that far gone.

WOLFEI'm afraid you're wasting your time,Mr. Cramer. And mine.

Cramer's red face gets redder.

CRAMERI don't think so--

That's when the doorbell rings. Archie goes to get it whileCramer continues to lecture Wolfe.

24.


Archie answers the door. It's Edwin Laidlaw. Before theman can speak, Archie shooshes him with a finger to his ownlips.

ARCHIEIs this something you want Lt. Cramerof homicide to know about?

Edwin shakes his head no.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)Wait in the front room until he goes.

Archie leads him to the front room, closes the doors, justas Cramer is coming out of the office. Apparently, Cramerhasn't noticed a thing. In fact, Cramer shoots Archie acold look and shows himself out. Archie goes into Wolfe'soffice.


Wolfe is behind his desk.

WOLFETo bedevil Mr. Cramer for a purposeis one thing; to do so merely for apastime is another.

ARCHIEI wouldn't dream of it. You're askingme if my position with you, privately,is the same as it was with him. Theanswer is yes.

WOLFEVery well. Then he is in apredicament.

ARCHIESomeone else is, too, apparently. Edwin Laidlaw is in the front room. I can talk with him there, but Ithought I should tell you becauseyou might want to sit in... oreavesdrop through the peephole.

WOLFEPfui.

ARCHIEYeah, I know. I don't want to shove,but we haven't had a case in twoweeks and this could be one.

WOLFEConfound it.

25.

He scowls at Archie, gets up and leaves.

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - TWO MINUTES LATER

Archie leads Laidlaw in and shoots a casual glance in thedirection of the peephole.

ARCHIE'S VOICEThe peephole was in the wall, to theright of Wolfe's desk, covered by apicture of a pretty waterfall. Onthe other side, in the hall acrossfrom the kitchen, I had once stoodfor three solid hours, waiting forsomeone to steal something from mydesk.

ARCHIEWhat can I do for you?

EDWINLook, Goodwin, I want to ask you astraight question. The police wouldbe happy to call Faith's death suicideexcept for something you told them. So I want to know -- why do you thinkit was murder?

ARCHIEI've told the police, the D.A. andMr. Wolfe, and for the present, that'senough.

EDWINAnd you won't tell me?

ARCHIEAt the moment, no. Rules ofetiquette.

EDWINYou're in the detective business,Goodwin. People hire you to getinformation for them, so I will payfor it. I'll give you $5000 in cash. I have it in my pocket right now.

ARCHIEFive grand would suit me fine, sincethe salary Mr. Wolfe pays me is farfrom extravagant. But I'll say noeven if you double it.

EDWINI see.

(MORE)

26.

EDWIN (CONT'D)(then:)

I want to see Wolfe.

ARCHIEHe doesn't like to mix in when I'minvolved personally. Also he's prettybusy. But I'll see. With him youcan never tell.

Archie leaves.


Archie meets Wolfe.

ARCHIESorry for the crack about salary. Iforgot you were listening.

WOLFE(grunts:)

Your memory is excellent and youshouldn't disparage it. What doesthat man want from me?

ARCHIEMaybe he wants to publish yourautobiography.

Wolfe growls and ambles into the office, Archie follows. Wolfe goes to his desk.

ARCHIE'S VOICEHe growled, as a lion might growlwhen it realizes it must leave itscozy lair to scout for a meal. Iadmit a better comparison would bean elephant, but elephants don'tgrowl.

WOLFEWhat do you want, Mr. Laidlaw?

EDWINTo engage you professionally. Doyou prefer your retainer in cash ora check?

WOLFENeither until I accept the engagement.

EDWINI want to know why the police do notbelieve that Faith Usher killedherself. I want all the informationabout the situation you can gather.

27.

WOLFEIndeed. Mr. Goodwin has told me ofthe proposal you made to him. I amat a loss whether to respect yourdoggedness and applaud your dexterityor deplore your naivete. In anycase, I must decline your engagement. I already have the information youare after and I will not discloseit.

Edwin is clearly frustrated, and desperate.

EDWINIn the name of God, what's so secretabout it? What are you afraid of?

WOLFENot afraid, Mr. Laidlaw. Merelydiscreet.

EDWINI must speak to you privately.

WOLFEYou are. If you mean alone, no. Ifa confidence weren't as safe withMr. Goodwin as with me, he wouldn'tbe here. His ears are mine and mineare his.

Edwin is clearly boxed in. Whatever his trouble is, he iscornered. He takes out his check book, writes a check, andgives it to Wolfe.

EDWINIf twenty thousand isn't enough forretainer and expenses, say so. Iwant you to see to it that a secretabout me doesn't come to light and Idon't get arrested for murder.

WOLFEI give no guarantee against eithercontingency.

EDWINIf Faith Usher was murdered, I didn'tkill her and I don't know who did. But if the police keep investigating,they will run across a certain eventand might charge me with murder.

WOLFEIt must have been an extraordinaryevent.

(MORE)

28.

WOLFE (CONT'D)If that is what you intend to confidein me, I make two remarks: you arenot my client and even if you were,disclosures to a private detectiveby a client are not privilegedcommunication.

EDWINFine. I'm not proud of this, butI'm going to tell you.

And as he speaks, we do a series of DISSOLVES under Archie'svoice-over of Edwin talking and the detectives listening,Archie taking notes.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAnd he did. Laidlaw met Faith atthe flower shop where she worked. He secretly took her to Canada for aweek-long affair, then went offhimself for an eight-month trip toEurope. When he returned, his friendDinky Byne told him he'd seen "thatflower shop girl" at Grantham House. Laidlaw knew what that meant andwent to see her. Faith told Laidlawshe'd put the baby up for adoptionand never wanted to see him again. And until last night, she hadn't.

EDWINI'm convinced she killed herself andI hope to God my being there, seeingme again, wasn't what made her doit.

WOLFEDid Mr. Byne know the two of you hadan affair?

EDWINNo.

WOLFEDid you know she would be there beforeyou went.

EDWINIf I had, I wouldn't have gone.

WOLFEDid she know you would be there?

EDWINI doubt it. If she had, she wouldn'thave gone either.

29.

WOLFEThen it was a remarkable coincidencein a world that operates largely atrandom.

Wolfe considers for a moment, then:

WOLFE (CONT'D)If I proceed, I can do your job onlyby A, proving that Faith Ushercommitted suicide and Mr. Goodwin iswrong, or B, by identifying andexposing the murderer. That wouldbe a laborious and expensiveundertaking, so I'll ask you to signa memorandum stating that no matterwho the murderer is, if I exposehim, you'll pay the bill.

EDWINI'll sign it.

WOLFEThen that's understood.

(hands Archie thecheck:)

Archie, you may deposit this as aretainer and advance for expenses. Draw up the memorandum. In themorning, you will go to Granthamhouse and find out everything aboutFaith Usher.

And as Wolfe gets up to leave, we

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - EVENING

Archie makes a phone call.

BYNE'S VOICEHello?

ARCHIEAustin Byne?

BYNE'S VOICEWho is this?

ARCHIEArchie Goodwin, Dinky.

And we INTERCUT with Byne in his apartment.

BYNEI've been waiting for this.

(MORE)

30.

BYNE (CONT'D)Calling to give me hell or gettingyou into a mess? I don't blame you. Go on, say it.

ARCHIEI could, but I have another idea. Ineed to run up to Grantham House andneed an introduction. You're goingto give it to me.

BYNEI can't, Archie.

ARCHIEWhy not?

BYNEBecause I'm not in a position to. Iwouldn't be-- It might look as if--I just can't do it.

ARCHIEOkay, forget it. I'll just fed myother curiosities, and I have plenty. Like why you faked a cold. I haven'ttold the cops about it, so I guessI'd better do that and ask them toask you why.

BYNEI had a cold. I wasn't faking.

ARCHIESay hello to the police for me.

Archie starts to hang up, when he hears:

BYNEDon't hang up! Come down to myapartment, I need to talk to you...

And on Archie's smile, we

CUT TO:

INT. BYNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Archie is led in by Byne.

BYNEI'm genuinely, deeply sorry I gotyou into this, but frankly, afterreading the paper this morning, I'mjust selfish enough to be glad Imissed it. I'm sure you understandthat.

31.

ARCHIEDon't mention it. But next time youwant to skip out on something, don'toverdo it. Instead of a cold, tryfood poisoning, it involves lessacting.

BYNEYou've convinced yourself I wasfaking.

ARCHIEConvincing myself doesn't proveanything. But proof could easily befound, so why don't we just move on?

BYNEYou said you haven't told the cops. Did you tell my Aunt?

ARCHIENo, certainly not her. I was doingyou a favor, wasn't I?

BYNEThanks Archie, I appreciate that.

ARCHIEWe all like to be appreciated. Iwould appreciate knowing what it isyou want to talk over.

BYNEWell, to tell the truth, I am in amess, too. Or I will be, if you'dlike to see me squirm.

ARCHIEI might if you're a good squirmer. How do I go about it?

BYNETell anybody, especially my Aunt,that I faked my way out of it. Iwas tired of going to those dinners,besides, I stayed up all night thenight before playing poker and wasin no shape to go anyway.

ARCHIESo why pick me?

BYNEThe first two candidates I calledwere out of town, and the next threeall had dates. Then I thought ofyou.

(MORE)

32.

BYNE (CONT'D)I knew you could handle yourself inany situation, and you had met myAunt. So I called you and you werebig-hearted enough to say yes.

ARCHIEOkay, we'll swap. I'll keep quiet,and you arrange an audience for meat Grantham house.

BYNEI told you on the phone I can't dothat.

ARCHIEYeah, but then I was asking a favor,now I'm making a deal.

And on Byne's face, and the certainty that he's broken down,we

CUT TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Wolfe is reading a book and enjoying a BEER as Archie enterswith a GLASS OF MILK.

ARCHIEI just had a little chat with DinkyByne.

WOLFEWhy do people call him Dinky?

ARCHIEI suppose because he's an inch oversix feet, but I didn't ask.

WOLFEWhat did you ask?

OVER Archie explaining:

ARCHIE'S VOICEI told him how Dinky came to pick meand why, and how I had to apply alittle pressure.

ARCHIESo we made a deal. He gets me in atGrantham House, and I won't tell hisAunt on him.

Wolfe grunts.

33.

WOLFENothing is as pitiable as a man afraidof a woman. Is he guileless?

ARCHIEI would reserve it, but he's not adope. He might have known someonewas going to kill Faith Usher andmake it look like suicide... and hewanted somebody there alert, brainyand observant to spot it. So he gotme, and now Dinky's counting on me,with your help, to nail him. Orher. Or me maybe Dinky's on thelevel and merely pitiable.

WOLFEYou are only acquaintances, thereforehis selecting you to take his placeis suggestive, per se.

ARCHIECertainly, which is why I took thetrouble to go see him. To observe. There were other ways of getting toMrs. Irwin at Grantham House.

WOLFEBut you have formed a conclusion.

ARCHIENo sir. I've formed a question mark.

WOLFEVery well. Pfui. Afraid of a woman.

Wolfe returns to his book, conversation over. And on Archie,we

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. GRANTHAM HOUSE - DAY

Archie stands in front of a desk where MRS. IRWIN studieshim sharply.

ARCHIE'S VOICEMrs. Irwin had me at a disadvantage. She reminded me of Miss Clark, myhigh school English teacher, andMiss Clark always had my number. Ihad waited until I saw her to decidejust what line to take.

MRS. IRWINWas that you?

34.

ARCHIE'S VOICEBut now I had to decide whether tosay it was me or it was I.

ARCHIEYes, that was... me.

He waits to see if she's going to rap his knuckles with aruler. She doesn't.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)It also said in the paper that Iwork for a private detective namedNero Wolfe.

MRS. IRWINI know it did. Is that why you'vecome?

She waits for him to continue. Archie's still trying tofigure how to play this.

ARCHIEI could tell you a story, and a prettyconvincing one at that, but I believehonesty is the best policy... unlessthe other way is easier.

Mrs. Irwin studies him, almost approving. It seems that thetruth is the right angle for her, too.

MRS. IRWINI see no reason not to tell you whatI told the police. It's possiblethat Faith killed herself, but Idoubt it. I get to know my girlspretty well, and she was here nearlyfive months.

ARCHIEDid you know her well enough to knowabout the bottle of poison she usedto carry?

MRS. IRWINShe didn't tell me, but one of theother girls did. I felt as long asshe had it and went on showing itand talking about using it, that washer outlet for her nerves, and if Itook it away, she would have to getsome other outlet. One reason Idoubt she killed herself is that shestill had that bottle of poison.

ARCHIEThe police must have loved that.

35.

Mrs. Irwin gives him a look -- of course they didn't.

MRS. IRWINFor Faith, that bottle of poison wasmerely the enemy that she intendedto defeat somehow -- it was death,and she was going to conquer it. The spirit she had down deep showedsometimes in a flash in her eyes. You should have seen that flash.

ARCHIEI did. Tuesday evening, when I wasdancing with her.

MRS. IRWINThen she still had it, and she didn'tkill herself. How are you going toprove it?

ARCHIEI can't prove a negative. I have toprove an affirmative -- if she didn'tpoison her champagne, who did?

MRS. IRWINI wish you success. I would helpyou if I could.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAnd she could -- up to a point,anyway.

UNDER Archie's narration, he and Mrs. Irwin converse.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)She told me that Faith's stay atGrantham House overlapped with HelenYarmis, Ethel Varr, and Rose Tuttle,and that there was never any troublebetween any of them. And as forEdwin Laidlaw, Paul Schuster, andBeverly Kent:

MRS. IRWINI had never heard their names before.

ARCHIEWho picks the girls to be invited tothe annual dinner?

MRS. IRWINWhen Mr. Grantham was alive, I did. The first few years after he died,Mrs. Grantham did, based oninformation I supplied. The lasttwo years she has left it to Mr.Byne, and he consults me.

36.

ARCHIEIs that so? Dinky didn't mentionthat.

MRS. IRWINDinky?

ARCHIEMr. Byne. If you don't mind tellingme, how does he do it? Does hesuggest names and ask you about them?

MRS. IRWINI make a list, chiefly of girls whohave been here in the past year,with information and comments. Someof my girls would not be comfortablein those surroundings. On what basisMr. Byne makes his selections, Idon't know.

ARCHIEI'll ask him. I understand you don'task your girls as few questions aspossible about their pasts, but theymust tell you a lot. Did Faith evermention who was responsible for herbeing here?

MRS. IRWINShe never said a word about him tome, and I doubt she did to any ofthe girls.

ARCHIEBut she did tell you things?

MRS. IRWINIf you mean facts, really nothing. But she talked to me a great deal,and I formed three conclusions abouther past. One was that she had hadonly one sexual relationship with aman, and a brief one. Another wasthat she had never known her father,and probably didn't even know who hewas.

ARCHIEAnd the third?

MRS. IRWINThat her mother was still alive, andFaith hated her -- no, hate is toostrong a word. Faith was not a girlfor hating. Perhaps the word isrepugnance. Beyond that, I knownothing about her past.

37.

ARCHIENot even her mother's name?

MRS. IRWINI'm sorry.

Before she can finish, the door opens and DORA, middle-agedand a little too plump for her uniform, leans in.

DORAForgive me for interrupting, butKatherine may be going to rush thingsa bit. Four times since 9 o'clock,and the last one was only 20 minutes.

Mrs. Irwin is out of her chair and heading for the door.

MRS. IRWINI don't envy you your job, but Iwish you success. You'll forgive mefor rushing off.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI told her I did, and I could haveadded that I'd rather have my jobthan hers or Katherine's either. But I would have been talking to thedoor, and I was already thinking ofanother way to waste my breath.

And as he looks around the empty room, we

WIPE TO:

INT. DINKY BYNE'S APARTMENT - DAY

Archie's fanny is barely touching a chair when Byne demands:

BYNEWhat's all this crap about murder?

ARCHIEThe word crap bothers me. The waywe used it when I was a boy in Ohio,we knew exactly what it meant. ButI looked it up in the dictionaryonce and --

BYNEMy aunt says that you're saying thatFaith Usher was murdered, and onaccount of that, the police won'taccept the fact that it was suicide. What did you tell them?

ARCHIEGet the cops to tell you.

(MORE)

38.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)I'll tell you this: If my statementis all that keeps them from callingit suicide, I'll be responsible fora whole lot of trouble. So I'm doinga little checking on my own.

BYNEChecking on what?

ARCHIEFor example, if someone intended tokill Faith Usher at the party he hadto know she would be there. So Iasked Mrs. Irwin who had picked herto be invited. And she told me, andthat was certainly no help, since itwas you, and you weren't at the party. You even faked a cold to get out ofgoing.

BYNEI know you've got that to shake atme. But all I did was pick fournames from the list Mrs. Irwin gaveme. I had no personal knowledge ofany of the girls -- as I just finishedtelling the DA.

ARCHIEDid you keep the list?

BYNEI did, but an assistant districtattorney took it. One namedMandelbaum. No doubt he'll show itto you if you ask.

ARCHIEI don't suppose there was anyonewith you when you were making thesuggestions. Someone who saidsomething like "Faith Usher, a nice,unusual name, why don't you ask her?"

Byne glares at him, beginning to lose his patience.

BYNENo one was with me. What the hellare you driving at anyway?

(off Archie's shrug)My aunt has this idea that you havesold the police and the districtattorney on your murder theory, andif they make things unpleasant enoughfor her and her guests you and Wolfemight figure she'd be willing to

(MORE)

39.

BYNE (CONT'D)make a big contribution to help youremember something that would changetheir minds.

ARCHIEIt is an idea. But if I rememberedsomething now I didn't put in mystatement, no contribution from youraunt would replace the hide that thecops would peel off.

BYNEYou keep harping on your damnstatement. What's in it?

And OVER Byne and Archie continuing to talk:

ARCHIE'S VOICEHe didn't go so far as to make acash offer for the information, buthe appealed to everything from myherd instinct to my better nature. I would have let him go on if I hadn'tknown that company was expected atthe office at six o'clock, and Iwanted to be there when they arrived.

CUT TO:


Archie walks in to find Wolfe already in conversatin with Helen Yarmis, Ethel Varr, and Rose Tuttle, who are sittingacross from him. Archie gives them a greeting smile as hetakes his seat at his desk.

WOLFEWe have only exchanged civilities,Archie. Have you anything that shouldbe reported?

ARCHIENothing that won't wait. He's stillafraid of a woman.

Wolfe files that away and turns towards the company.

WOLFEAs I was saying, ladies, I thank youfor coming. You were under noobligation. Mr. Goodwin's opinion,expressed in your hearing Tuesdayevening, that Faith Usher wasmurdered, has produced somecomplications --

40.

ROSEI told him that Faith might takethat poison right there, and he saidhe would see that nothing happened,but it did.

WOLFEHe has told me that. But he stillbelieves that someone else poisonedMiss Usher's champagne. Do youdisagree with him, Miss Tuttle?

ROSEI thought she might do it, but Ididn't see her. And now I've answeredso many questions about it I don'tknow what I think.

WOLFEMiss Varr?

ETHELI don't think that Faith killedherself.

WOLFEYou don't, Miss Varr? Why not?

ETHELBecause I was looking at her, and ifshe'd put anything in the champagne,I would have seen her. The policehave been trying to get me to saythat Mr. Goodwin told me to say that,but I keep telling them that he hasn'tsaid anything at all to me. He hasn'thad the chance. Have you, Mr.Goodwin?

ARCHIEOf course not.

(to Wolfe:)Cramer didn't mention that mystatement had been corroborated. Infact, he said if it wasn't for me,suicide would be a reasonableassumption. The damn liar. After Ishoot him, I will sue for damages.

(then:)It wouldn't hurt any to tell MissVarr her performance is satisfactory.

WOLFEIt is. Indeed, quite satisfactory.

She smiles, not quite sure how to take the unusual compliment.

41.

ARCHIE'S VOICEThat, if only she'd known it, was atriumph. He gave me a satisfactoryonly when I hatched a masterpiece.

WOLFEMiss Yarmis?

HELENI think Faith killed herself. Itold her it was dumb to take thatpoison along to a party where wewere supposed to have a good time,but I saw it in her bag. Why wouldshe take it along to a party likethat if she wasn't going to use it?

WOLFEWhen did you tell her not to takethe poison along?

HELENWhen we were dressing for the party. We lived in an apartment togetherfor the last seven months. Just abig bedroom with a kitchenette, andthe bathroom down the hall, but Iguess that's an apartment and --

WOLFEIf you please, Miss Yarmis. We mustrespect the convenience of Miss Varrand Miss Tuttle. During those sevenmonths, did Miss Usher have manycallers?

HELENShe never had any.

WOLFEDid Miss Usher have no friends atall? Men or women?

HELENI never saw any. She never had adate, I never even saw her get anyphone calls. I used to tell herthat was no way to live, just crawlingalong like a worm --

This could go on for hours. Wolfe interrupts.

WOLFEDid she get any mail?

HELENI don't think so.

(MORE)

42.

HELEN (CONT'D)This is kinda funny, Mr. Wolfe, Ican answer your questions withouteven thinking because they're allthe same questions the police havebeen asking, even the same words.

Wolfe is stung. And on his quiet simmering:

ARCHIE'S VOICEI could have given her a big hug. Anyone who takes Wolfe down a pegrenders a service to the balance ofnature.

WOLFEEvery investigator follows a routineto a point, Miss Yarmis. Beyondthat point comes the opportunity fortalent if any is at hand. It maynot be outside my capacity to contrivea question that will not parrot thepolice. I'll try.

HELENOkay.

WOLFEDo you mean to tell me that duringthe seven months you lived with MissUsher, you had no inkling of herhaving any social or personal contact --excluding her job --

HELENShe went to night school. She wasgoing to be a secretary. I neversaw how she could if she was so tiredbut --

WOLFE-- Excluding her job and night school --with any of her fellow beings?

HELENThey didn't ask that. What's aninkling?

WOLFEAn intimation. A hint.

HELENI don't remember any hints.

WOLFEDid she never tell you she met a manor woman she used to know?

(MORE)

43.

WOLFE (CONT'D)Or that she'd been accosted on thestreet? Did she never account for aheadache or fit of ill humor bytelling of an encounter she had? Anencounter is a meeting face to --

But Helen is remembering something.

HELENFaith never had headaches, exceptonce when she came home from work. I wanted her to take some aspirin,but she said it wouldn't help any. Then she asked if I had a mother andI said my mother was dead and shesaid she wished hers was. Faithsaid she met her on the street andthere had been a scene and she hadto run to get away from her. Sothat was an encounter, wasn't it?

WOLFEIt was. What else did she say aboutit?

HELENThat was all. Never mentioned heragain.

Wolfe scowls, but knows it would be useless to pursue thisfurther. He addresses his next remark to all the women.

WOLFEDo any of you know anything aboutthe eight other people at the partythat might suggest a reason why oneof them wanted Miss Usher to die?

ROSEI don't.

ETHELNeither do I.

HELENThe only connection I know about isMrs. Robilotti. When she came toGrantham House to see us, Faith didn'tlike her.

ROSEWho did?

WOLFEWas there something definite, MissYarmis? Something between Miss Usherand Miss Robilotti?

44.

HELENOh, no. I never heard Faith sayanything to her at all. Neither didI. She thought we were harlots, that'sall.

Wolfe takes a deep breath, holds it, and lets it out. Maybehe's calculating just how much time this has wasted.

WOLFEI thank you again for coming, ladies. We seem to have made little progress,but at least I have seen you andtalked to you.

Wolfe pushes his chair back and rises.

ROSEOne thing I don't see. Mr. Goodwinsaid he wasn't there as a detective,but he is a detective, and I toldhim about Faith having the poisonand I think he ought to know exactlywhat happened. I didn't think anyonecould commit a murder with a detectiveright there.

Archie gets up to herd the ladies out of the room.

ARCHIE'S VOICEA very superficial and half-bakedway to look at it, I thought. Ididn't look at Wolfe to see if hethought the same thing.

And as the ladies file through the door

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE OFFICE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - DAY

Archie is at his desk on the phone.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWhen, a little after ten Fridaymorning, Paul Schuster phoned to saythat he and Grantham and Laidlaw andKent wanted to see Wolfe, and thesooner the better, I broke two ofWolfe's standing rules.

CUT TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE ORCHID ROOM - DAY

As Wolfe glowers over an orchid at Archie.

45.

WOLFEYou make no appointments withoutchecking with me. And you disturbme in the plant rooms only foremergencies.

ARCHIEI looked up emergency in thedictionary. It means "an unforseencombination of circumstances whichcalls for immediate action." Youwant to argue with the dictionary,or with me?

Wolfe glares at him and we

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE OFFICE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - DAY

Wolfe sits across from Paul Schuster, Cecil Grantham, EdwinLaidlaw, and Beverly Kent. Archie is at his desk.

PAULWe do not claim to have evidencethat you have done anythingactionable. But it is a fact we'rebeing injured and if you areresponsible for that injury it maybecome a question of law.

WOLFEI expect it to, Mr. Schuster. Amurder investigation is commonlyregarded as a question of law. Gentlemen, what are you here for? To buy me off? To bully me?

CECILGod damn it, what are you after? That's the point! Why did you sendyour man to question my butler and --

KENTShut up, Cecil. Let Paul tell him.

PAULYour insinuation that we have enteredinto a conspiracy to buy you off orto bully you is totally unwarranted. We came because we feel, with reason,that our rights of privacy are beingviolated without provocation or justcause, and that you are responsible.

WOLFEI see. And you all share thisfeeling?

46.

CECILI sure do.

KENTSo do I.

EDWINI don't have enough information yet. But I have reason to suspect.

ARCHIE'S VOICEHe handled it pretty well, I thought. Naturally, he had to be with them,since if he had refused to join inthe attack, they would have wonderedwhy, but he wanted Wolfe to understandthat he was still his client.

PAULWe doubt if you can justify yourresponsibility, but we thought youshould be given a chance to do sobefore we consider what steps may betaken legally in the matter.

WOLFEPfui.

PAULAn expression of contempt is hardlyan adequate justification, Mr. Wolfe.

Wolfe leans back and clasps his fingers over his stomach.

WOLFEI didn't intend it to be, sir. Thisis futile. You want to put a stopto your involvement in a murderinquiry, and my concern is to involveyou as deeply as possible, theinnocent along with the guilty.

PAULWhy are you concerned?

WOLFEI want to know if one of you hasburied in his past a fact that willaccount for resorting to murder toget rid of Faith Usher, and if so,which. Manifestly you are not goingto sit here and submit to a day-longinquisition, and even if you did,the likelihood that one of you wouldbetray the existence of such a factis minute. So, as I say, this isfutile for you and for me.

(MORE)

47.

WOLFE (CONT'D)I wish you good day only as a matterof form.

And on the four men storming out, and Wolfe looking afterthem, we:

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - LATER

Wolfe is nursing a beer, glaring at space. Archie watcheshim, vaguely amused, and sips a glass of milk.

WOLFEThis is grotesque.

ARCHIEIt certainly is. Four of the suspectscome to see you uninvited, all setfor a good long heart-to-heart talk,and what do they get? Bounced.

WOLFEBah. Call Mr. Panzer, Mr. Catherand Mr. Durkin, tell them to come inat three. No. At two-thirty. No. At two o'clock. We'll have lunchearly. I'll tell Fritz.

Wolfe gets up and marches out. As Archie watches him go:

ARCHIE'S VOICEI felt uplifted. That he was callinghis operatives in for assignmentswas promising. That he had changedit from three o'clock, when his lunchwould have settled, to two-thirty,when digestion would have barelystarted, was impressive. That hehad advanced it again to two, withan early lunch, was inspiring. Andthen to go to tell Fritz instead ofringing for him -- all hell waspopping.

And on Archie's grin:

WIPE TO:


FRED, SAUL and ORRIE sit across from Wolfe. Archie is backat his desk.

48.

WOLFERather than plod over ground thepolice have already traveled, namelyinvestigating the pasts of the partyguests, we shall try another linewhere you will be on fresh ground. I want to see Faith Usher's mother. You are to find her and bring her tome.

Fred and Orrie pull out their notebooks. Saul doesn't.

WOLFE (CONT'D)You won't need notes. There isnothing to note except the bare factthat Miss Usher's mother is aliveand must be somewhere.

ORRIEIs her name Usher?

WOLFEYou should learn to listen, Orrie. I said that's all I know.

Archie stifles a grin and turns to the phone, picks it upand dials, as Wolfe keeps talking to the other three.

SAULDo we keep covered?

ARCHIE(into phone)

Lon Cohen, please.

WOLFEPreferably, yes. But don't preserveyour cover at the cost of missingyour mark.

Saul picks up the phone book and leafs through it.

SAULThere are a dozen Ushers listed inManhattann. Of course, she doesn'thave to be named Usher, and shedoesn't have to live in Manhattan,and she doesn't have to have a phone. But it wouldn't take Fred and Orrielong to check the dozen.

Archie hangs up the phone and grins triumphantly.

ARCHIEYou can skip the phone book.

(MORE)

49.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)Lon Cohen at the Gazette says A womannamed Majorie Betz claimed FaithUsher's body from the morgue. That'sB-E-T-Z, 812 West 87th Street,Manhattan. She had a letter signedby Elaine Usher, mother of Faith,same address. A Gazette man hasseen Marjorie Betz, but she saysElaine went somewhere Wednesday nightand she doesn't know where. TheGazette hasn't been able to findher, and Lon Cohen thinks no oneelse has. End of chapter.

SAULFine. Nobody skips for nothing.

WOLFEFind her. Bring her. Use anyinducement that seems likely to effectresults.

Fred, Saul, and Orrie start to head out.

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE ENTRY - DAY

Archie peers through the glass and sees Edwin Laidlaw. Heopens the door, and lets him in.

EDWINI want to see Wolfe.

ARCHIE'S VOICEHis tone indicated that his plan wasto get Wolfe down and tramp on him,so I left him to his mood.

ARCHIEWait here.

Archie goes back into


Where Wolfe is thinking.

ARCHIEOur client is--.

That's when the office doors bursts open and Edwin chargesin. He heads for Wolfe's desk, but Archie grabs him.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)(firmly:)

Please have a seat, Mr. Laidlaw.

50.

Rather than wait for Edwin to comply, Archie leads him tothe red chair and makes him sit. Edwin stares at Wolfe,enraged.

WOLFETo what do I owe this rudeinterruption?

EDWINI may be wrong. I hope to God I am. Did you send a note to the districtattorney telling him that I'm thefather of Faith Usher's child?

WOLFENo, I did not.

EDWIN(to Archie)

Did you?

ARCHIEOf course not.

EDWINHave you told anybody? Either ofyou?

WOLFEPlainly you are distressed and somust be indulged. But nothing hashappened to release either Mr. Goodwinor me from our pledge of confidence. If and when it does you will firstbe notified. I suggest that youretire and cool off a little.

EDWINCool off, hell. When I left herethis morning, there were policewaiting at my office. They took meto see Bowen, the district attorneyhimself. He asked if I wanted tochange my statement that I had nevermet Faith Usher before Tuesday, andI said no.

WOLFEThey had some kind of evidence?

EDWINThey had a note. It came in themail yesterday, typewritten, nosignature. It said "Have you foundout yet that Edwin Laidlaw is thefather of Faith Usher's baby? Askhim about his trip to Canada in August1956." I sat and stared at it.

51.

WOLFEIt was worth a stare, even if it hadbeen false. Did you collapse?

EDWINI just said one thing: that whoeversent that note had libelled me, andI had a right to know who it was. But they kept at me for two hours.

WOLFEYou admitted nothing? Not even thatyou had taken a trip to Canada inAugust of 1956?

EDWINI didn't answer a single question.

WOLFEHighly satisfactory. This is indeedwelcome, Mr. Laidlaw.

EDWINWelcome!

WOLFEWe have at last goaded someone toaction. I am gratified. If therewas some small doubt that Miss Usherwas murdered, this removes it.

EDWINBut good God -- they know about me.

WOLFEThey know no more than they didbefore. They get a dozen accusatoryunsigned letters every day, and havelearned that the charges in most ofthem are groundless.

Wolfe glances up at the wall clock. It's 3:30.

WOLFE (CONT'D)We have 30 minutes. You told methat no one on Earth knew about yourdalliance with Miss Usher; now weknow you were wrong. We must reviewevery moment you spent in her companywhen you might have been seen orheard. When I leave at four o'clock,Mr. Goodwin will continue. Startwith the day she first attractedyour interest.

And OVER the three often talking:

52.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWhen Wolfe undertakes that sort ofthing, he is worse than a housewifebent on finding a speck of dust themaid overlooked. Once I sat foreight straight hours while he took achauffeur over every second of adrive, made six months before, toNew Haven and back.

WIPE TO:


As Wolfe gets out of his chair and heads for the door, Archiecontinues to question Edwin.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWhen four o'clock came, time forWolfe to go up and play with theorchids, he had covered their firstmeeting, two dinners, and a lunch atGaydo's on 69th Street.

WIPE TO

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - LATER

As the inquisition continues. Edwin's beginning to lookpretty ragged.

ARCHIE'S VOICEMy pulse wasn't pounding from thethrill of it, but I carried on, andwe were working on the third day inCanada, somewhere in Quebec, when --

The DOORBELL RINGS. Archie gets up and goes into


Archie looks through the glass and sees Inspector Cramerwaiting impatiently.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWish I could have said I wassurprised.

Archie grabs Edwin's hat and coat and goes back into the


Where he thrusts the hat at coat at Edwin.

ARCHIEInspector Cramer is here looking foryou. This way out, come on, move.

53.

EDWINBut how...?

ARCHIENo matter how. Damn it, move!

He leads Edwin out into

INT. BROWNSTONE KITCHEN - DAY

Where Fritz sits at the big table, doing something to a duck.

ARCHIEMr. Laidlaw wants to leave throughthe back way in a hurry and I haven'ttime because Cramer wants in. Showhim quick, and you haven't seen him.

Fritz leads Edwin out the back door and Archie goes back to


Where he puts the chain on the door and opens it to a two-inch crack.

ARCHIEI suppose you want me? Since youknow Mr. Wolfe won't be availableuntil six o'clock.

CRAMEROpen up, Goodwin.

ARCHIEUnder conditions. You know damnwell what my orders are: no callersadmitted between four and six unlessit's just for me.

CRAMERI know. Open up.

ARCHIEOkay. If it's me you want.

He takes the chain off the door and swings it open. Cramerpushes past him and storms into the office, then comes backout.

CRAMERWhere's Laidlaw?

ARCHIESearch me. There's lots of Laidlaws,but I haven't got one. If you mean --

54.

Cramer turns and heads for the door to the hall, nearlybrushing Archie as he goes, checking first the office, thenclimbing the stairs. Archie follows after him.

CUT TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE ORCHID ROOM - DAY

Where Cramer is just coming in. Archie rushes past him,calling to Wolfe.

ARCHIEHe said he came to see me. When Ilet him in, he dashed past me andstarted yapping "Where's Laidlaw?" Apparently he has such a craving forsomeone named Laidlaw that his moralsare shot.

Wolfe starts to glare at Archie, but shifts it over to Cramer.

WOLFEAre you demented?

CRAMERSomeday...

WOLFESomeday what? You'll recover yoursenses?

Cramer advances towards Wolfe, who of course does not retreat.

CRAMERSo you're horning in again. Goodwinturns a suicide into a murder, andhere you are. This afternoon, Laidlawis called downtown, and when he leaveshe heads for you. So I know he hasbeen here. So I come --

ARCHIEIf you weren't an inspector, I'd saythat's a lie. Since you are, makeit a fib. You do not know he's beenhere.

CRAMERI know he hopped a taxi and gave thedriver this address.

ARCHIESo you actually suppose he's beenhere.

CRAMERAll right, I do.

(MORE)

55.

CRAMER (CONT'D)(to Wolfe)

Have you seen Edwin Laidlaw in thelast three hours?

WOLFEYou know how rigidly I maintain mypersonal schedule. You know that Iresent any attempt to interfere withthese two hours of relaxation. Butyou get into my house by duplicityand then come charging up here toask me a question you have no rightto an answer. So you don't get one.

He turns, giving Cramer the broad expanse of his rear, andpicks up a seedling.

ARCHIEI guess your best bet would be toget a search warrant and send a gangto look for evidence, like cigaretteashes from the kind he smokes.

Smoldering himself, Cramer turns and marches out. Archiefollows him to

INT. BROWNSTONE HALL - DAY

And down the stairs, still talking, rapid-fire.

ARCHIEI know where it hurts. You've neverforgotten the day you did come witha warrant and a crew to look for awoman named Clara Fox and searchedthe whole house, and didn't findher, and later learned she had beenin the orchid room in a packing case,covered in osmundine that Wolfe wasspraying water on. So you thoughtthat if you rushed up before I couldgive the alarm you'd find Laidlawthere and now that he isn't you'restuck. You ought to take off yourcoat while you're in the house, oryou'll catch cold when you --

That's when Cramer marches out the front door, slamming itbehind him -- right in Archie's face.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)-- leave.

And on Archie's grin, we

DISSOLVE TO:

56.


Archie sits at his desk, on the phone. Wolfe is listeningin on the extension. A COFFEE SERVICE is on his desk.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAfter dinner, Saul checked in totell us what he'd found out aboutElaine Usher.

SAUL'S VOICE(on the phone:)

Dresses well but a little flashy. Hates to tip. No job, but she'snever short of money, and she seemsto like men. And nobody knows whereshe is or when she'll be back.

Fritz comes in to clear away the coffee service.

WOLFEStay on it. We must find her.

Archie and Wolfe hang up their phones.

WOLFE (CONT'D)Confound it, I wait to see Mrs. Ushernot merely because her daughter saidshe hated her. There is also thefact that she has disappeared.

ARCHIEYes, sir. I didn't say anything.

WOLFEYou looked something.

The phone rings again. Archie answers it.

ARCHIENero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwinspeaking.

ARCHIE'S VOICEIt was Celia Grantham. She wantedto see me right away. I thought itwas because she never got over meand couldn't bear to be away from meanother second.

CUT TO:

INT. GRANTHAM MANSION ROOM - NIGHT

As Celia leads Archie into a smaller room and closes thedoor behind them.

57.

CELIAMother wants to see you.

ARCHIEYou said you did.

CELIAI do, but it only occurred to meafter mother got me to decoy forher. She's up in the music roomwith the police commissioner, butfirst I want to ask you something. What is it about Edwin Laidlaw andthat girl? Faith Usher?

ARCHIESearch me. Why?

CELIAI thought you'd know about it, sinceit's you that's making all thetrouble. You see, I may marry himsomeday, since you've turned out tobe a skunk. Are you a skunk?

ARCHIEI'll think it over and let you know. What about Laidlaw and Faith Usher?

CELIAThat's what I want to know. They'reasking questions of all of us, andthey're typing samples on all ourtypewriters. I think they got ananonymous letter.

ARCHIEDon't let it wreck your marriageplans. Even if an anonymous lettersays Laidlaw was the father of herbaby, that proves nothing.

CELIAIf he was the father of her baby,that means if I married him we couldhave a family, and I want one. I'mworried that he might be gettinginto a jam and you're no help.

ARCHIESorry.

CELIASo now suit yourself. If you'd ratherduck Mother and the policecommissioner, you know where yourhat and coat are. I'll tell themyou got mad and went.

58.

ARCHIEI wouldn't want you to get in a jam. I'll tell them myself.

And as she tries to dope that out

WIPE TO:

INT. GRANTHAM MANSION MUSIC ROOM - NIGHT

As Celia leads Archie in, Cecil stands by a window, whileRobert and Mrs. Robilotti sit with POLICE COMMISSIONERSKINNER. Robert and Skinner rise, but don't put out theirhands. Mrs. Robilotti remains seated.

CELIAMr. Goodwin came up on his own, eventhough I warned him you were layingfor him. Mr. Skinner, Mr. Goodwin.

SKINNERWe've met.

ARCHIE'S VOICEJudging by his voice, it wasn't oneof his treasured memories.

MRS. ROBILOTTII wish to say that I would havepreferred never to have you in myhouse again.

ARCHIEYour daughter said you wanted me tocome here. Just to tell me I'm notwelcome?

MRS. ROBILOTTII have just spent the worst threedays of my life, and you areresponsible. I want to tell you Ithink you are capable of blackmail,that I think that's what you have inmind, and I won't submit to it. Ifyou try--

CECILHold it, Mom. That's libel.

SKINNERAlso, it's useless. Goodwin, thisis unofficial and off the record. None of my colleagues knows I'm here. Let's assume something, just anassumption.

ARCHIEAssuming's one of my talents.

59.

SKINNERLet's assume that Tuesday eveningwhen something happened that you hadsaid you'd prevent, in the heat ofthe moment you blurted out that FaithUsher had been murdered, and thenyou found you had committed yourself. It carried along from the precinctmen to Inspector Cramer to thedistrict attorney, and then you werecommitted.

ARCHIEDo I comment as you go along or waituntil you're through?

SKINNERI realize it would be very difficultnow for you to say that on furtherconsideration you were mistaken. But let's say you came here tonight,and after a careful inspection that,though you had nothing to apologizefor, you had probably been undulypositive.

ROBERTYou just concede that it is possiblethat Faith Usher did poison her ownchampagne, and that if the officialconclusion is suicide, you will notchallenge it.

SKINNERI will of course be under anobligation to ensure that you willsuffer no damage or inconvenience,and that you will not be pestered.

ROBERTWe realize you probably have toconsult with Wolfe before you cangive us a definite answer. You canphone him from here.

SKINNEROr even go to him. I'll wait herefor you. This has gone on longenough.

ARCHIEAre you through?

SKINNERYes.

60.

ARCHIEMy mother used to tell me never tostay where I wasn't wanted, and youheard Mrs. Robilotti. I guess I'mtoo sensitive, but I've stood it aslong as I can.

And with that, he turns and leaves.

CUT TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE DINING ROOM - DAY

As Archie sips his breakfast coffee, the phone RINGS. Hegoes to answer it.

ARCHIE'S VOICEThe next morning, Saul phoned toreport. They'd been staking outElaine Usher's apartment, the oneshe shared with Marjorie Betz. Theywere hoping Marjorie would leave sothey could search it, but the ladystayed in all night.

WIPE TO:


As Archie talks on the phone.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAt noon, Saul reported in. Still noprogress in the search for ElaineUsher. Nothing happening at herapartment.

INT. BROWNSTONE - DINING ROOM - DAY

As Wolfe pushes away from the lunch table, the phone RINGS.

ARCHIE'S VOICEBut at 2:30, the phone rang again.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. PHONEBOOTH - DAY

As Saul talks into the phone.

SAULGot her.


Archie nods to Wolfe, who picks up the extension as he enters.

61.

SAUL'S VOICEA man from a messenger service wentto the apartment.


Saul continues.

SAULAnd when he came out, he had asuitcase with him.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - DAY (FLASHBACK)

As the MESSENGER brings out the SUITCASE, Saul sees the TAG.

SAUL'S VOICEThe tag read "Miss Edith Upson, Room911, Hotel Christie."

The suitcase is MONOGRAMMED: E.U.

HOTEL DOOR (FLASHBACK)

Swings open and ELAINE USHER peers out. She takes thesuitcase from the messenger and closes the door behind her,not seeing Saul standing just down the hallway. Grinning.


SAULI was tempted to tackle her then andthere, but I thought I'd better waitfor instructions.


ARCHIEYou need a staff. I'll be there intwelve minutes.

WOLFENo. Proceed, Saul, as you thinkbest. For this sort of junctureyour talents are as good as mine. Get her here.

SAULYes, sir.

WOLFEPreferably in a mood of compliance,but get her here.


SAULYes, sir.

62.

He hangs up and heads off. END INTERCUT.


Archie hangs up the phone. Hard. Then stands.

ARCHIEThis is Saturday and I've got mycheck for this week. I want a month'sseverance pay.

WOLFEPfui.

ARCHIENo phooey. I am severing relations. It has been 88 hours since I sawthat girl die, and your one brightidea, granting that it was bright,was to bring that girl's mother here,and I refuse to sit on my fanny whileSaul --

WOLFEShut up.

ARCHIEGladly.

Archie gets the checkbook out of the safe and takes it tohis desk.

WOLFEArchie.

ARCHIEI have shut up.

WOLFEThis is natural. You are headstrongand I am magisterial. Our toleranceof each other is a recurring miracle.

Archie opens the checkbook.

WOLFE (CONT'D)I did not have one idea, bright ornot. I had two. We have neglectedAustin Byne. Since he got you tothat party, pretending an ailment hedidn't have, and since he chose MissUsher as one of the guests, hedeserves better of us. I suggestyou attend to him.

ARCHIEHow? Tell him we don't like hisexplanations and we want new ones?

63.

WOLFENonsense. You are not so ingenuous. Survey him. Explore him.

ARCHIEI already have. He has no visiblemeans of support, but he has anapartment and a car and plays table-stakes poker and doesn't go naked. The apartment, by the way, hits myeye. If you hang this murder onhim, and if our tolerance miracleruns out of gas, I'll probably takeit over.

WOLFEPerhaps the best course would be toput him under surveillance.

ARCHIEIf I postpone writing this check, isthat an instruction?

WOLFEYes.

ARCHIE'S VOICEAt least I would get out in the airand away from the miracle for a while.

Archie closes the checkbook and returns it to the safe, takingout twenty tens from the expense drawer.

ARCHIEYou'll see me when you see me.

And he leaves.

WIPE TO:

EXT. STREET - DAY

As Archie walks along outside Byne's building.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWhen starting to tail a man it isdesirable to know where he is, so Iwas a little handicapped.

He stops at a phone booth and dials a number.

ARCHIE'S VOICE (CONT'D)I dialed Byne's number. No answer. So at least I knew where he wasn't.

Archie leaves the phone booth and looks up and down the streetfor a place to wait.

64.

He spots a small, casual restaurant with a hand-painted signbordered in sweet-peas that reads AMY'S NOOK. That'll do.

WIPE TO:

INT. AMY'S NOOK - DAY

Archie sits at a table in the window as a WAITRESS takes anempty pie plate away off the table and puts a new piece ofrhubarb pie in front of him.

ARCHIE'S VOICEOver the next two hours, I ate fivepieces of pie, two rhubarb and oneeach of apple, green tomato, andchocolate, and drank four glasses ofmilk and two of coffee.

Archie glances out the window towards Byne's apartmentbuilding, then looks back and sees the waitress eying himcuriously.

WIPE TO:

INT. AMY'S NOOK - LATER

A CAT sleeps peacefully on a chair. Archie is studiouslysketching it in his notebook.

ARCHIE'S VOICETo keep from arousing curiosity eitherby my tenure or my diet, I madesketches of a cat sleeping on a chair. In the Village, that accounts foranything.

And indeed, the waitress now pays Archie no attention. Helooks out the window and sees a TAXI pulling up outside Byne'sbuilding and Byne getting out. Archie hands some money tothe waitress, then adds a quarter.

ARCHIEFor the cat.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

As Archie cranes his head to look up at Byne's lighted fifth-floor window.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI could only hope that Dinky wasn'tset to spend the evening curled upwith a good book, or even withoutone. But that didn't seem likely,since he would have to eat, and Idoubted that he did his own cooking.

65.

The fifth-floor light goes out. After a moment, the frontdoor opens and Byne comes out.

EXT. ANOTHER STREET - NIGHT

Byne walks quickly down the street. Archie follows at adiscreet distance.

ARCHIE'S VOICETailing a man in Manhattan is a joke. If he suddenly decides to flag ataxi -- there are a hundred ifs, andthe are all on his side. But ofcourse any game is more fun if theodds are against you, and if you winit's good for the ego.

Byne enters a door under a sign: TOM'S JOINT. Archie looksaround for a place from which to conduct his surveillance. And finds one -- a passage between two buildings almostdirectly across the street. He's intently watching the frontof the joint when there's a NOISE. Someone else is in thealley. Archie tenses, then:

ARCHIESaul.

SAULArchie.

ARCHIEWhat the hell?

SAULAre you on her, too? You might havetold me.

ARCHIEI'm on a man. I'll be damned. Where's yours?

SAULAcross the street. Tom's joint. She just came.

ARCHIEMr. Wolfe says that in a world thatoperates largely at random,coincidences are to be expected, butnot this one. Have you spoken withher? Does she know you?

SAULNo.

ARCHIEMy man knows me.

(MORE)

66.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)His name is Austin Byne. Six feetone, 170 pounds, lanky, loose-jointed,early thirties, brown hair and eyes. Go in and take a look. One will getyou ten that they're together.

SAULI never bet against fate.

Saul goes. Archie waits.

ARCHIE'S VOICEThe five minutes he was gone werefive hours.

WIPE TO:

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

As Saul returns.

SAULThey're together in a booth in therear corner. No one is with them. He's eating oysters.

ARCHIEHe'll soon be eating crow. What doyou want for Christmas?

SAULI have always wanted your autograph.

ARCHIEI'll tattoo it on you. Now we havea problem. She's yours and he'smine, and now they're together. Who's in command?

SAULThat's easy. Mr. Wolfe.

ARCHIEI suppose so, damn it. We couldwrap it up by midnight. Take themto a basement and peel their hidesoff. Still, if he's eating oysters,there's plenty of time to phone. You or me?

SAULYou. I'll stick here.

Archie scowls. That's what he gets for asking.

CUT TO:

67.


Fritz talks into the phone, shocked.

FRITZBut Archie, it's dinner.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT

Where Archie talks on a payphone.

ARCHIEI know. Tell him it's urgent.

ARCHIE'S VOICEThat was an unexpected pleasure,having a good excuse to call Wolfefrom the table. He has too manyrules.

INTERCUT WITH:


Wolfe picks up the phone, fuming.

WOLFEWell?

ARCHIEI have a report. Saul and I arehaving an argument. He thought --

WOLFEWhat the devil are you doing withSaul?

ARCHIEWe have a problem of protocol. Itailed Byne to a restaurant and Saultailed Mrs. Usher to the samerestaurant, and our two subjects arein there together in a booth. Sothe question is, who is in charge,Saul or me? The only way to settleit without violence was to call you.

WOLFEAt meal time.

ARCHIEThey should have known better.

WOLFEDo they know they have been seen?

68.

ARCHIENo.

WOLFECould you eavesdrop?

ARCHIEPossibly, but I doubt it.

WOLFEVery well, bring them. There's nohurry, since I have just starteddinner.

Wolfe hangs up. So does Archie.

WIPE TO:

INT. TOM'S JOINT - NIGHT

Where Byne sits at a booth across from Elaine Usher. Hereaching for an oyster when someone crowds onto the seatnext to him.

BYNEHey!

He looks over and sees it's Archie next to him. He goggles.

BYNE (CONT'D)Archie?

ARCHIEHi, Dinky. Excuse me for buttingin, but I want to introduce a friend.

That's when Saul appears across the table and sits down nextto Mrs. Usher.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)Mr. Panzer, Mrs. Usher. Mr. Byne. Sit down, Saul. Would you mind givinghim room, Mrs. Usher?

Byne tries to rise, but it can't be done in a tight boothwithout knocking over the table. Mrs. Usher spills winefrom the glass she's holding, and Saul, squeezed in besideher, takes the glass away.

BYNELet us out, or I'll go out over you. And her name is Upson. Edith Upson.

ARCHIEIf you start a row, you'll only makeit worse. Mr. Panzer knows Mrs.Usher, though she doesn't know him.

(MORE)

69.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)Let's be calm and consider thesituation. There must be --

BYNEWhat do you want?

ARCHIEI'm trying to tell you. There mustbe some good reason why you twoarranged to meet in this out of theway dump, and Mr. Panzer and I arecurious to know what it is.

SAULI expect others will be, too.

ARCHIESure, the press, the public, thepolice, the district attorney, NeroWolfe.

SAULWe can't expect them to explain ithere in this din and smog.

ARCHIEOf course not. Either Mr. Panzercan phone Inspector Cramer for you,or we'll take you to talk it overwith Mr. Wolfe. Whichever you prefer.

BYNELook, Archie, there's nothing to it. It looks funny, sure it does, but wedidn't arrange it. I met Mrs. Usherabout a year ago, I went to see herwhen her daughter went to GranthamHouse, and when I came in here tonightand saw her --

MRS. USHER-- After what's happened, naturally,he spoke to me and we --

ARCHIESave it, both of you. Saul, phoneCramer.

Saul starts to slide out. Byne reaches over and grabs hissleeve.

BYNENow wait a minute. Damn it, can'tyou listen? I'm --

70.

ARCHIENo. No listening. You can have oneminute to decide. In one minuteeither you and Mrs. Usher come alongto Nero Wolfe, or we phone Cramer. One minute. Go.

Archie looks at his watch.

MRS. USHERNot the cops. My God, not the cops.

BYNEIf you'd only listen...

ARCHIENo. Forty seconds.

Byne and Mrs. Usher frantically try to calculate their waythrough this mess.

ARCHIE'S VOICEIf you're playing stud, and there'sonly one card to come, and the manacross has two jacks showing and allyou have is a mess, it doesn't matterwhat his hole card is, or yourseither.

Byne cranes his neck around to look for the waiter.

BYNECheck, please.

And as Archie and Saul exchange a look,

WIPE TO:


Wolfe faces the couple. Archie and Saul are nearby.

WOLFEI prefer to speak with you separately,but first I want to make sure thereis no misunderstanding. I intend tobadger you, but you don't have tosubmit to it. You may get up andleave. If you do, you will be throughwith me and henceforth you willdeal with the police. I make thatclear because I don't want youbouncing up and down.

He takes a deep breath and turns to Mrs. Usher.

71.

WOLFE (CONT'D)I wish to speak privately with Mr.Byne. Saul, take Mrs. Usher to thefront room.

Saul escorts her out. Wolfe turns to Byne.

WOLFE (CONT'D)I've heard your explanation for beingin the restaurant with Mrs. Usher. Do you expect me to accept it?

BYNENo. I told Goodwin that because thereal story would have embarrassedMrs. Usher. Now I can't help it. Imet her three years ago and for abouta year I was intimate with her.

WOLFEAnd your meeting her this eveningwas accidental?

BYNEShe knew I was Mrs. Robilotti'snephew. She wanted to ask me abouthow her daughter died. But I reallycouldn't tell her more than what sheread in the papers.

WOLFEIs that your story?

BYNEYes.

WOLFEThen I'll see Mrs. Usher. After Ispeak with her, I'll ask you in againwith her present. Archie, take Mr.Byne and bring in Mrs. Usher.

Archie opens the door for him, then holds it open for Mrs.Usher to enter. Archie returns to his desk.

WOLFE (CONT'D)Of course, madam, my reason forspeaking with you separately istransparent: to see if your accountsagree. Since you have had noopportunity for collusion, agreementwould be, if not conclusive, at leastpersuasive.

MRS. USHERYou use big words, don't you?

72.

WOLFEI try to use words to say what Imean.

MRS. USHERSo do I. I don't know what Mr. Bynetold you, but I phoned him thismorning and asked to see him. Hesuggested the joint and I went. Notvery thrilling, is it?

WOLFEOnly moderately. Have you known himlong?

MRS. USHERI don't really know him at all. Imet him somewhere a year ago, I don'tremember where. But yesterday I wassitting any my window, thinking aboutFaith...I had to know more.

She gets choked up for a moment, but Wolfe presses on anyway.

WOLFEWhy did you leave your home and goto a hotel under another name?

MRS. USHERI didn't want to see people. I knewreporters would come. And cops. Iwanted to be alone. You would tooif--

And she gets all choked up again. It seems to irritate Wolfe,who turns immediately to Archie.

WOLFEBring in Mr. Byne, Archie, and Saul.

Archie goes to the door and opens it.

ARCHIECome in, gentlemen.

They do and take their seats.

WOLFEI don't want to prolong this beyondnecessity, but I would like tocongratulate you. You have bothlied so cleverly that it would havetaken a long and costly investigationto impeach you. It was an admirableperformance. Unfortunately for you,the performance was wasted.

He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a SHEET OF PAPER.

73.

WOLFE (CONT'D)When you left your hotel room, Mrs.Usher, I had one of my men searchit. He found a most interestingdocument.

BYNEWhat document?

WOLFEIt's a letter from Albert Granthamin which he concedes being the fatherof your child. Perhaps the best wayto identify it is to quote an excerpt,say, paragraph four:

(reading:)"So I have given my nephew, AustinByne, a portfolio of securities theincome of which is tax exempt, amountto more than $2 million. The yieldwill be about $55,000 annually. Mynephew will remit half to you andkeep the other half to himself. Ifyou disclose the relationship weonce had, or make any additionaldemands, this agreement is null and--"

Byne moves forward. Saul and Archie stop him, not realizingthat the real danger is Mrs. Usher. She BOLTS OUT OF HERCHAIR streaks for Wolfe, who SWIVELS AROUND and leans back,KICKING HER IN THE CHIN and sending her staggering back toher seat. She grabs her jaw and yells:

MRS. USHERYou hit me!

Archie pins Byne's arm behind him.

ARCHIEEasy.

Wolfe puts the paper back into his pocket.

MRS. USHERGive that back to me.

WOLFEIt will eventually be returned toyou, after it is used as an exhibitin a murder trial.

BYNENo one has been murdered!

WOLFEYou are in error, Mr. Byne. Now sitdown.

74.

Archie releases him and Byne sits. Wolfe turns to Mrs. Usher.

WOLFE (CONT'D)Does the agreement state that yourremittance decreases if your daughterdies?

MRS. USHERYes. I only get half as much oreven less. Are you telling the truth,was she murdered?

WOLFEI'm afraid so, Madam.

(to Byne:)I would like to see the agreement. So I sent Mr. Cather to your apartmentto look for it. It will expeditematters if you phone him and tellhim where it is. He should be insideby now.

Byne stares at Wolfe.

BYNEBy God. You've been threatening tocall the police. I will call themmyself. I'll tell them a man hasbroken into my apartment and he isthere now.

Archie leaves his chair.

ARCHIEHere, Dinky, use my phone.

BYNEHe won't find the agreement becauseit's not there. It's in a safedeposit box and it's going to staythere.

WOLFETomorrow is Sunday, so it must waituntil Monday. However, Mr. Catherdidn't go to the trouble for nothing. He will use your typewriter and writesomething with it: "Have you foundout yet that Edwin Laidlaw is thefather of Faith Usher's baby?"

Byne smiles. Wolfe notices.

WOLFE (CONT'D)You smile. Are you amused? Becauseyou don't have a typewriter?

75.

BYNESure, I have a typewriter. Did Ismile?

He smiles again, a poker smile.

WOLFEYou were wrong to smile. That was amistake. You couldn't possibly beamused, so you must be pleased. Bywhat? I'll try to guess. The guiltymachine is elsewhere. It should beeasy to find. For instance, thebank vault where you have the safetydeposit box. Archie, you go to mybox regularly, would it be remarkablefor a vault customer to ask for atypewriter?

ARCHIERemarkable? No.

From the look on Byne's face, Wolfe has hit the target.

BYNEBeat it, Elaine. I want to talk toWolfe.

Wolfe nods to Saul, who escorts Mrs. Byne out.

WOLFEPlease wait in the front room.

BYNEYou win. So I spill my guts. Wheredo you want me to start?

WOLFEWhy did you send the note to thepolice?

BYNEBecause they were going on with theinvestigation and they might dig upI knew Faith's mother and about thearrangement. And if she was murdered,I thought Laidlaw probably did it.

WOLFEWhy?

BYNEThe day he left for Canada, I sawthe two of them together in his car. I put the rest together. So now youknow he was the only one at the partywith a reason to kill her.

76.

WOLFEYou had one.

BYNEI wasn't there!

WOLFETrue, but those who were there canalso plead lack of opportunity.

BYNEI told Elaine I'd keep sending herhalf. You can ask her. So where'smy motive now?

WOLFEYou told Mr. Goodwin that yourselection of Miss Usher to be invitedto the party was fortuitous, but nowthat explanation won't do.

BYNEWhen I got the list from Mrs. Irwin,and saw Faith's name, I thought itwould be ironic to invite her. Ofcourse, my aunt could cross Faithoff and tell Mrs Irwin--

(then:)That gave me another funny idea, tohave Laidlaw there, too. I know Iwas a damn fool, but there you haveit.

WOLFEDid Miss Usher know that AlbertGrantham had fathered her?

BYNEMy God, no.

Wolfe leans back and closes his eyes... and does some thingswhich Archie now explains to us:

ARCHIE'S VOICEWolfe leaned back, closed his eyes,and his lips started to work. Theypushed out and in, out and in, outand in...sooner or later he alwaysdoes that. I should have a signmade, GENIUS AT WORK, and put it onhis desk when he starts it.

Wolfe opens his eyes and aims his gaze at Byne.

WOLFEThe time has come to attack thecentral question: how was Faith Ushermurdered? Archie, get Mr. Cramer.

77.

Byne jumps to his feet.

BYNENo! Damn you, after I've spilled--

WOLFEMr. Byne! Don't squeal until you'rehurt. I've got you and I intend tokeep you.

(to Archie:)Call Mr. Cramer, ask him to inviteeveryone from the party to my officetomorrow morning at eleven O'clock. He may come as well, particularly ifhe wishes to apprehend a murderer.

Wolfe rises now and addresses Byne.

WOLFE (CONT'D)You and Miss Usher will remain hereas my guests. I don't want eitherof you to have a chance to conferwith any one and this will ensureit.

Wolfe leaves, Archie smiling, Byne glaring after him.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI had no idea what he had in mind,but I knew one thing. The murderhad already been solved and tomorrowI would know how.

WIPE TO:


The room has changed. The globe and the couch and otherfurniture have been moved out to recreate the party as muchas possible. FOURTEEN CHAIRS have been brought in, a tablestanding in for the bar, etc. Everyone is scattered around,some seated and some standing, waiting for Wolfe to arrive. In addition to the party guests, Byne, Cramer, PURLEY STEBBINSand Saul are also there.

ARCHIE'S VOICEWolfe's idea was to reproduce, asnearly as possible, the scene of thecrime, and it was a damn silly idea. If re-creation was essential, hecould have broken his rule to neverleave the house on business and movethe whole performance uptown to Mrs. Robilotti's. But he was too stubbornfor that.

Wolfe enters, making it an entrance, of course, lettingeveryone stare at him as he makes his way to his desk.

78.

WOLFELadies and gentlemen, I will notkeep you long -- at least not mostof you. I have no exhortation foryou and no questions to ask. Toform an opinion of Mr. Goodwin'scompetence as an eyewitness, I needto see, not what he saw, but a closeapproximation of it. We'll do thebest we can. Archie?

Archie leaves his chair to stage manage. And we

WIPE TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE - WOLFE'S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER

Everyone is in their new place. Hackett behind the table/bar,and Laidlaw and Helen Yarmis at one end of it. Rose Tuttleand Beverly Kent are in chairs where the globe stood. CeliaGrantham and Paul Schuster are by the wall to the right ofWolfe's desk, with her sitting and him standing. Saul is ona chair near the door to the hall.

ARCHIEMr. Panzer is Faith Usher. Thedistance is wrong, but the relativeposition is right.

Archie puts an ASHTRAY on a chair to the right of the safeand tells them:

ARCHIE (CONT'D)This is the bag containing the bottleof poison.

(to the Robilottis:)Could you please take your places infront of the bar?

Reluctantly, they do. Archie and Ethel stand at a corner byArchie's desk.

ARCHIE (CONT'D)(to Wolfe:)

All set.

WOLFEMr. Hackett, I understand that whenMr. Grantham went to the bar forchampagne for himself and Miss Usher,two glasses were there in readiness. You had poured one of them a fewminutes previously and the otherjust before he arrived. Is thatcorrect?

BUTLERYes, sir.

79.

WOLFEPlease pour a glass now and put itin place.

Hackett the butler does as he is told.

ARCHIE'S VOICEThe bottles in the cooler on thetable were champagne, and goodchampagne, Wolfe had insisted on it. Fritz had opened two of them.

WOLFEKeep the bottle in your hand. I'llexplain what I am after and you mayproceed. I want to see it fromvarious angles. After Mr. Granthamdelivers his glass to Mr. Panzer,that is to say Miss Usher, I willask repeat him to repeat hisperformance by delivering glassesindividually to everyone.

Cecil shrugs and does what he is told. We do it in A SERIESOF TIME CUT/DISSOLVES, intercutting Wolfe watching it allclosely, all UNDER:

ARCHIE'S VOICEI was as confused as everyone elseabout what Wolfe had in mind. But Ihad sympathy for the others. Unlikethem, I was comfortable with thatunique brand of confusion, I'dexperienced it many times before inthat very room.

Before Cecil can hand a glass to the last person, his sister,he decides to swallow the contents himself.

CECILHere's to crime.

(drinks, then to Wolfe:)I hope I didn't spoil it.

CELIAIt was in bad taste.

CECILI meant it to be. This whole thinghas been in bad taste from thebeginning.

Wolfe ignores the remark.

WOLFEI appeal to all of you: Did anythingabout Mr. Grantham's performancecatch your eye?

80.

Purley Stebbins clears his throat.

STEBBINSHe carried his glasses the same everytime. The one in his right hand,his thumb and forefinger were on thebowl, and the one in his left hand,held that by the stem. And he keptthe one in his right hand and handedthem the one in his left hand.

Wolfe is stunned.

ARCHIE'S VOICEI had never before seen Wolfe lookat Purley with unqualified admiration.

WOLFEThank you, Mr. Stebbins. You notonly have eyes but know what they'refor. Will anyone corroborate him?

SAULI will. I do.

CRAMER(to Wolfe:)

What's your point?

WOLFESurely, that is obvious. Anyone whois sufficiently familiar with Mr.Grantham's habits, and who saw himpick up the glasses and start offwith them, would know which one hewould hand to Miss Usher.

(to Archie:)Please bring in our guest.

Archie opens the door and in comes Elaine Usher, who he leadsto Mrs. Robilotti.

ARCHIEMrs. Robilotti, let me present Mrs.Elaine Usher, Faith's mother.

Mrs. Usher bends at the waist and puts out a hand.

MRS. USHERIt's a pleasure, a great pleasure.

Mrs. Robilotti stares for a moment and then SLAPS Mrs. UsherRIGHT ACROSS THE FACE, shocking everyone, except, perhapsNero Wolfe.

WOLFEThat is all, ladies and gentlemen.

(MORE)

81.

WOLFE (CONT'D)I wish to continue, but only withMrs. Robilotti, Mr. Byne, Mr. Laidlaw,and Mr. Robilotti, if he chooses tostay. The rest of you may go.

ROSEYou mean we have to? I want to stay.

But she's led out, along with the others, by Archie and Saul,leaving the four remaining guests, Cramer and Stebbins.

WOLFE(to Mrs. Usher:)

Madam, I regret the indignity youhave suffered under my roof.

BYNEYou stage it and then you regret it? Unbelievable.

WOLFEThe reason Mr. Byne is here willsoon be apparent. It was somethinghe said that informed me that Mrs.Robilotti knew her husband fatheredFaith Usher.

BYNEThat's a lie! A damn lie!

WOLFEI choose my words, Mr. Byne. I didn'tsay you told me that, but thatsomething you said informed me. Speaking of the people invited tothe gathering, you said "of coursemy aunt could cross Faith off andTell Mrs. Irwin--" and you stopped,realizing you'd slipped. When I letit pass, you thought I missed it.

BYNEThere was no implication!

WOLFENonsense. Why should your Aunt refuseto have Miss Usher in her house? Only one reason suggested by theknown facts: that she knew Miss Usherwas her former husband's illegitimatedaughter.

MRS. ROBILOTTI(to Wolfe, withdisgust:)

This is incredible.

82.

WOLFEI agree, murder is always incredible.

(to Byne:)You have trimmed long enough. Didyour aunt know Faith Usher was thedaughter of Albert Grantham?

Byne sags, cornered and he knows it.

BYNEI told her a couple of months agobecause she called me a parasite forliving on my Uncle's money. I lostmy temper and told her why he gaveme the money, to provide for hisillegitimate daughter.

Mrs. Robilotti glares at Byne, seething with hatred.

MRS. ROBILOTTIYou liar! You sit there and lie. You told me so you could blackmailme out of more millions. The millionsAlbert gave you wasn't enough, you--

WOLFE(interrupts:)

Stop it!(to Cramer:)

I submit to you that Mrs. Robilottideliberately let Faith Usher come tothe party so she could kill her.

CRAMERHow did she get Faith Usher's cyanideout of her purse and into the drink?

WOLFEConfound it, must I shine your shoesfor you?

(then:)I doubt she ever went near the bag. I suggest you inquire whether Mrs.Robilotti recently had access tocyanide. You might even find sheactually procured some.

MRS. ROBILOTTII've had enough!

Mrs. Robilotti gets to her feet and starts to go. But sheonly gets a few feet before Cramer and Stebbins block herway.

MRS. ROBILOTTI (CONT'D)Let me pass. I am going home.

83.

CRAMERNot right now. I'm afraid you'llhave to answer some questions.

He motions to Stebbins and they lead her out. Archie smilesat Wolfe, who merely nods, spots Fritz in the door way,glances at his watch, and starts to rise.

WOLFENow, if you will excuse me, it'stime for lunch. You're welcome tojoin me in the dining room if youwish.

And Wolfe leaves. The others start to follow, staring afterhim in amazement. Celia joins Archie at his desk.

CELIAYou've left my life in tatters.

ARCHIEI'm sorry, this must be a terribleshock for you.

CELIAThis changes everything. I couldnever marry a man who put my motherin jail.

Archie is taken aback. That wasn't what he meant.

ARCHIEOh.

(then:)A wise policy.

CELIAAs if you didn't know, you skunk. You win. I'll just have to findsomeone else.

She motions to Laidlaw.

CELIA (CONT'D)Edwin, my dear, would you pleasetake me home?

Laidlaw immediately offers Celia his arm.

LAIDLAWMy pleasure.

As the two of them pass, Laidlaw shoots a smile at Archieand he smiles back. Fritz joins Archie.

FRITZCan I get you anything?

84.

ARCHIEA tall glass of milk. Make it acold one.

And on Archie, looking thoughtfully after the couple, we FADE OUT.

THE END

champagne for one - nerowolfe.com filenero wolfe "champagne for one" fade in: int. boudoir...

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