LIFE AFFIRMATIONChapter 14

Overview

Some say life must be shown to be good, otherwise who would read, view or listen to material that is depression?

Others say art should reveal the truth of human experience, some life-affirming, some of it life-denying

The omnipresence of death, even at its most tragic can enhance the appreciation of life

Images of Death

Often shown as a hooded Grim Reaper with a scythe (we like to be scared, haunted houses)

Death can be celebrated in life-affirming fashion to honor the memory of those who have departed. (Day of the Dead)

Military Sacrifice

GLORIOUS-KING HENRY V

TRAGIC-DULCE ET DECORUM EST

“For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother…”

“sweet and fitting it is to die for one’s country”

Death at a Distance

-love the element of danger (circus, rodeo)society is fascinated by gruesome stories, zombies, Vampires, horror Considered life-affirming because they turn death into an unreality

Catastrophes

Some stories tell of the near-destruction of the Earth and the salvation of good

Others tell of meteors or comets that wipe out portions of the Earth

These are life-affirming because usually the deserving people do not die

Both death at a distance and catastrophes assure us that death is not random, and can be overcome

Strategies for Dealing With Death

AVOIDANCE HUMOR

Don’t ever talk about death because it’s “morbid”

Use terms such as “pass on”, “in case something happens”

People who avoid death are those who feel they have plenty of time

Is it better to confront death in a humorous way than to suppress not only the fear but the very mention of it?

More Strategies…

MAGNIFYING AND BEAUTIFYING DEATH

THE MEDICALIZATION OF DEATH

To magnify death as a special event that happens only after a person has achieved high status is to create a mythology for ourselves

We mask our own fears by focusing on the death of celebrities

Medical profession has made the conquest of death a priority

New drugs and technology have helped, but when they don’t they add to the sense that death is intolerable

Death and Literature

Some of the most potent insights into the meaning of death come from writers

Death in the Family tells of a little boy experiencing a loss for the first time

Spring and Fall- a poem that discusses that what the little girl is feeling is mourning for her own self someday

Terence, this is stupid stuff- poem denouncing his friends cheerful poetry, it is better to be realistic about sorrow

Death and Music

Certain kinds of music are associated with death Hymns at funerals New Orleans jazz funeral

Death and an Afterlife

Some believe that death doesn’t exist, life continues beyond the grave.

Christianity speaks of heaven and hell, but is ambiguous.

Is it an actual place with geography? On the cross, Jesus proclaims he will be in

paradise that same day, but what does paradise mean?

Book of Revelations contains frightening imagery of the world’s end

In the Hindu faith there is moksha, the blissful state the soul attains when it is released from the cycle of reincarnation, but also a heavenly paradise enjoyed by the souls of who died but are 1 lifetime away from achieving perfection

In Judaism, the afterlife is the memory of a good person who lives on in charitable works, and the broad impact of a life well-lived. Their bible focuses on a better life here, not an afterlife.

Fatalism

The belief that all events, including nature, time and place of one’s death have been predetermined

2 ways of thinking about Fatalism:1. Depression because

nothing can be done.2. A willingness to

accept the inevitable no matter how unsettling.

Instead of asking, “Why me?”ask “Why not me?”

Symbolic Deaths

UNWORTH SYMBOLIC SUICIDE

Most obvious form of symbolic death

Feeling of nothingness, unattractive, unpopular

Hang back from taking risks that could have positive results

The need to escape from a reality that does not give one an identity

Symbolic martyrdom-sign up for tasks no one wants, “oh you poor thing”

Symbolic Murder

Verbal knife thrust-saying something to cut them down (burn)

Hostility and resentment find ways to come out

Models of Life-Affirmation

If negative attitudes and internal imagery damped people’s lives, causing them to die many times before their actual death it is possible that the opposite may be true.

Life-affirmation-recognizing life is worth living, death happens only once and in a sense, not at all.

The Phoenix

Ancient symbol of life-affirmation

Mythological bird that lives a long time, then burns to ashes on an alter only to rise from the ashes, young again

Phoenix Model

Structure of many master works I’ve been through hell I’m going to pull myself out of this Lift yourself up by your own bootstraps

Epic Poem Faust-alchemist gives up soul to discover the secret. Learns that courage to meet challenges face-on whether one succeeds or not is greater than success itself, work is worth doing whether it is unfinishable.

There is Only Now

Time is physical in the contemporary world of science.

Time is a social construct, in terms of actual experience it is changeable

We can experience yesterday or not as we choose (memory) we can experience the future if we want (imagination) we cannot control is the present moment, but we often are so busy that we lose sense of it

Eastern thought-consciousness is infinite, awareness is always with us-no beginning or end

Reinventing Ourselves

Memory can hold on to past hurts and cause us to want to reinvent ourselves (Suicide)

Romans-to grieve, preserve honor, avoid pain, benefit the state

Christians-martyrs to prove faith Artists-poets and writers, too genius for

their own good (lack of recognition, loss of inspiration, creativity stifled)

Guilt and Forgiveness

Life-affirmation cannot happen until we do something about guilt

Many hold on to guilt that isn’t justified Survivor guilt-”why was I not the one?” Book suggests a guilt party and

forgiveness ritual where you symbolically let go of past transgressions and allow yourself to heal

If there was a plane crash and only 5 of these people could get on the life raft, who would you

choose?

28 year old mother with her 5 month old baby boy 45 year old priest Elderly grandmother on the plane to celebrate her 50th wedding anniversary Elderly grandfather on the plane to celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary 30 year old pilot 24 year old flight attendant 40 year old flight attendant Businessman flying 1st class, father of 2 21 year old college male student attends Ohio University 21 year old college female student attends Harvard 34 year old female teacher, on the plane with husband and 2 children 35 year old politician on the plane with wife and 2 children 10 year old daughter of teacher and politician on plane with parents and brother 3 year old son of teacher and politician on plane with parents and sister 27 year old mechanic 50 year old scientist 58 year old eye doctor, father of 4, married over 20 years 46 year old neurologist, not married, no kids