chapter 9 personal relationships. three basic characteristics frequent interaction over a long...
TRANSCRIPT
Chapter 9
Personal Relationships
Personal Relationships Three basic characteristics
Frequent interaction over a long period of time
Many different kinds of activities Strong mutual influence
Interdependence Theory Analyzes the exchange and
coordination of outcomes between interdependent partners
Interdependence Theory A reward is anything a person
gains from an interaction Particular or universal, symbolic or
concrete Basic types of rewards:
Love Information Money Goods Status Services
Interdependence Theory A cost is any negative
consequence that occurs in an interaction or relationship Time Energy Conflict Others’ Disapproval Opportunity Cost
Interdependence Theory Outcome = Rewards – Costs We evaluate outcomes with standards
Profitability Comparison level
Based on past experience Comparison level of alternatives
Based on other currently available relationships
Interdependence Theory In relationships, we need to
coordinate outcomes to maximize benefits to both partners Easier to do when partners are similar In case of conflicts of interest,
partners must negotiate a settlement Social norms and social roles help provide
solutions to some coordination problems
Interdependence Theory People are most content when they
perceive their relationships to be fair Rules for Fairness
Equality Rule “To Each According to Need” Equity Rule: profits proportional to inputs
P’s outcome = O’s outcome
P’s contributions O’s contributions
Interdependence Theory Basic Assumptions of Equity theory
Individuals try to maximize their outcomes in a relationship.
Rewards can be maximized by evolving rules or norms about fairness.
Perceived inequity fosters distress. For both the under-benefited and the over-benefited
People who perceive inequity will try to restore equity.
Either actual or perceived equity may be restored.
Interdependence Theory Research on Equity Theory
Concerns with fairness may be highest at the beginning of a relationship, and in a long-term relationship when it encounters stressful changes
Equity is less important to happiness than the absolute level of rewards
Interdependence Theory Exchange Relationships People give benefits
expecting a return of benefits soon after
Strangers & Casual Acquaintances
Clark & Mills (1979)
Communal Relationships People feel responsible
for meeting their partner’s needs
Family, Friends, Romantic Partners
Including other in self means that benefiting partner benefits self too
Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure is a special
type of conversation in which we share intimate information and feelings with another person.
Self-Disclosure Reasons we disclose
Social Approval Relationship Development Self-Expression Self-Clarification Social Control
Self-Disclosure Liking
Self-Disclosure In general, we most like people whose
self-disclosure is reciprocal and gradual. The impact of self-disclosure on liking
depends on the nature of the relationship. E.g., an intimate self-disclosure by one’s roommate
may be received very differently than an intimate self-disclosure by a random stranger in a lecture hall.
Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure also entails risks:
Indifference Rejection Loss of Control Betrayal
Because of the risks of self-disclosure, we sometimes conceal our deepest feelings and keep secrets
Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure varies by culture and by
gender E.g., Japanese are less self-disclosing than
Americans across relationships Women reveal somewhat more than men,
particularly in same-sex relationships in the U.S.
Men may be more revealing in same-sex relationships in cultures that encourage this
Intimacy Intimacy results not just from self-
disclosure, but when self-disclosure evokes a response that makes a person feel understood, validated, and care for.
Gender and Intimacy Men and women do not define
intimacy differently. However, men experience less
intimacy than women in their same-sex interactions (there are no difference in cross-sex interactions) Cultural norms may explain this.
The Balance of Power Social power = a person’s ability
to influence deliberately the behavior, thoughts, or feelings of another. In some relationships, power is
balanced, in others, one person has more power than the other.
The Balance of Power Heterosexual couples in the U.S.:
Equal power 64% Male-dominant 27% Female-dominant 9%
Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983
Equal power can mean shared or “separate but equal” decision-making
Consensus between partners is generally the key to happiness
However, female-dominant relationships are less satisfying
The Balance of Power Three things determine whether
a relationship is equal in power: Social Norms and Attitudes Relative Resources
Especially if the one with greater resources is a man
The Principle of Least Interest The person who is least dependent on the
relationship has the most power (Waller, 1938)
Conflict The process that occurs when the
actions of one person interfere with the actions of another The potential for conflict increases as
interdependence increases
Conflict Three types of problems
specific behaviors norms and roles personal dispositions
Conflict Conflict can help or hurt a relationship,
depending on how it is resolved. On the one hand, it can lead to
defensiveness, withdrawal, even threats and violence.
On the other, it can provide opportunity for clarification of agreements, to discover their depth of feeling for each other, and renew efforts to create a satisfying relationship.
Satisfaction & Commitment Satisfaction = an individual’s subjective
evaluation of the quality of a relationship. Better when: Rewards > Costs Outcome > C.L. Happy couples spend more time in joint
activities, use more humor, engage in more affectionate touching, and in less criticism, hostility, & arguing
Satisfaction & Commitment Commitment = all the forces, positive &
negative, that act to keep a person in a relationship. Increased by
Satisfaction Values & morals Barriers that make it costly to leave Investments
Decreased by C.L. alt (available alternatives)
Satisfaction & Commitment Generally, there is a close relationship
between satisfaction & commitment However, sometimes couples stay
together despite low satisfaction. Why? Higher investments Lack of alternatives Moral commitments Low feelings of personal control
Satisfaction & Commitment Factors that help in understanding
commitment in heterosexual relationships are generally useful in understanding homosexual relationships as well.
The major difference is fewer barriers to breaking up for homosexual relationships.
Satisfaction & Commitment Factors that increase commitment:
Positive Illusions about Relationships Misremembering the Past Forgoing Tempting Alternative
Partners Explaining a Partner’s Behavior in a
charitable fashion Willingness to Sacrifice Accommodation & Forgiveness
Satisfaction & Commitment Reactions to Dissatisfaction:
Voice Loyalty Neglect Exit
Rusbult, 1987