Lesson 4: Characters

Whatever is translatable in other and simpler words of the same language, without loss of sense or dignity, is bad. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

When character is lost, all is lost – Anonymous

Understanding the importance of

Characters

Readers judge prose to be clear when subjects of sentences name characters and verbs name actions

Subject -> Character

Verb -> Action

Sounds self evident, but often, abstractions are used

instead of characters. Clarity is lost.

ABSTRACTION:

The fear of the CIA was that a recommendation

from the president to Congress would be for a

reduction in its budget.

NO CHARACTER (could be ambiguous):

There was fear that there would be a

recommendation for a budget reduction.

When characters are subjects of verbs, clarity ensues

The CIA feared the president would recommend to

Congress that it reduce its budget.

The CIA had fears that the president would send a

recommendation to Congress that it make a

reduction in its budget.

make the subjects of most of your verbs

the main characters of your story.

How to diagnose and revise characters

To get characters into subjects, you have to know three

things:

when your subjects are not characters

if they aren’t, where you should look for characters

what you should do when you find them (or don’t)

Example

Governmental intervention in fast-changing technologies

has led to the distortion of market evolution and

interference in new product development.

How to avoid the indirect and impersonal feel of this sentence?

1) underline the first seven or eight words.

2) Find the main characters (they can be possessive pronouns

attached to nominalizations, objects of prepositions, or simply

implied)

Here, the adjective ‘governmental’ and the object of a preposition

‘of market evolution’

3) Find the actions involving those characters. Who is doing what?

Example

Governmental intervention in fast-changing technologies

has led to the distortion of market evolution and

interference in new product development.

Characters Actions

Governmental intervention Government intervenes

distortion (government) distorts

Market evolution Markets evolve

interference (government) interferes

development (market) develops

Reassemble the new subjects and verbs into a sentence, using

conjunctions such as if, although, because, when, how and why.

When a government intervenes in fast-changing technologies, it distorts

how markets evolve and interferes with their ability to develop new

products.

String together character-action pairs.

A Few Words on Absent Characters

Readers have the biggest problem with sentences devoid of all characters.

Writers sometimes omit characters to make a general statement.

Characters may be invented, for clarity’s sake. One, we, or a generic ‘doer’ can be integrated in a text.

Tip: when you are explaining a complicated issue to

someone involved in it, imagine sitting across the

table from that person, saying you as often as you

can.

‘You’ can be inappropriate, and so using a general

character (taxpayers, individuals, citizens, etc.) can

be more suitable in many situations.

About Nominalizations

A nominalization is a replacement of a verb by a noun, often resulting in displacement of characters from subjects by nouns.

When a nominalization replaces a verb with a noun, it often displaces characters from subjects.

If you tell a story in which you make abstract

nominalizations its main characters and subjects,

use as few other nominalizations as you can.

EXAMPLE:

To understand what causes psychiatric disorder, studies should look for more than one variable rather than adopt a strategy in which they test only one biological variable or assume that a single gene is responsible for a psychopathology.

A story about an abstraction as familiar as ‘studies’ is clear enough, but if you surround a less familiar character with a lot of other abstractions, readers may feel that your writing is unnecessarily dense and complex.

Use ‘flesh-and-blood’ characters

when possible. When using an

abstraction, avoid using abstract

nominalizations around it to keep it

clear.

1 – Information shared on social media become fragments of what is being referred to as a digital life.

2 – Lately, the explicitness of candid information divulged through social media has managed to destroy personal and professional lives alike, making headlines worldwide and causing a serious reconsideration of what is shared publicly.

3 – The cloak of anonymity provided by the internet can be reassuring for victims but it also makes it a powerful tool for abusers, judging and labeling being prevalent on this platform, veracity becomes subjective.

Exercise / Characters as Subjects

Revise so that each sentence has a specific character as

subject of a specific verb. To revise, you may have to invent

characters.

Use we, I, or any other word that seems appropriate.

Characters and Passive verbs

A verb is in the passive voice when its past participle is preceded by a form of be. The passive differs from the active in two ways:

the subject names the goal of the action.

The agent or source of the action is after the verb in a by-phrase or dropped entirely.

Example:

Active –> I lost the money.

Passive –> The money was lost (by me).

Let’s consider the following sentences:

We can manage the problem if we control costs.

Problem management requires cost control.

Gramatically, both are in the active voice but the

second feels passive. Why?

neither of its actions are verbs.

The subject is an abstraction.

The sentence lacks flesh-and-blood characters.

Some critics tell us to avoid the passive everywhere

because it adds words and often deletes the agent,

the ‘doer’ of the action. However, the passive is

often the better choice.

Considerations:

Must your readers know who is responsible for the action?

Would the active or passive verb help your readers move more smoothly from one sentence to the next?

Would the active or passive give readers a more consistent and appropriate point of view?

These questions lead us to the following 3 rules regarding the use of passive…

Avoiding Passive?

Use a passive if the agent of an action

is self-evident

EXAMPLE:

The voters reelected the president with 54% of the vote.

The president was reelected with 54% of the vote.

Use a passive if it lets you replace a long

subject with a short one

EXAMPLE:Research demonstrating the soundness of our reasoning and the need for action supportedthis decision.

This decision was supported by research demonstrating the soundness of our reasoning and the need for action.

Use a passive if it gives your readers a

coherent sequence of subjects

EXAMPLE:

By early 1945, the Axis nations had been essentially

defeated; all that remained was a bloody climax. The

German borders had been breached, and both

Germany and Japan were being bombed around the

clock. Neither country, though, had been so devastated

that it could not resist.

Change active verbs into passives and passive verbs into actives.

The Ebola virus is spreading quickly. Right now, vaccines are being worked on by scientists worldwide. Security and measures have been prepared by many nations. The widespread fear is causing another ill: West Africans now must battle unwarranted discrimination, being tagged as disease-ridden when in fact the virus is not found in their region.

Exercise / Passive & Active Verbs

Some scholarly writers claim that they should not use a first-person subject, because they must create an objective point of view, something like this:

Based on the writers’ verbal intelligence, prior knowledge, and essay scores, their essays were analyzedfor the structure and evaluated for richness of concepts. The subjects were then divided into a high- or low- ability group. Half of each group was randomly assigned to a treatment group or to a placebo group.

Contrary to that claim, academic and scientific writers use the active voice and the first-person I and we regularly.

Scholarly Writers and the Use of Passive

When academic writers do use the first person, they use

it in certain ways. When considering verbs…

some refer to research activities (examine, observe,

measure, record, use). Those verbs are usually in the

passive voice. The subjects were observed…

Other refer not to the subject matter or the research,

but to the writer’s own writing and thinking (cite, show,

inquire). These verbs are often active and in the first

person: we will show… they are examples of what is

called METADISCOURSE.

Metadiscourse

Metadiscourse is language that refers not to the substance of your ideas, but to yourself, your reader, or your writing.

your thinking and act of writing - We/I will explain, show, argue, claim, deny, suggest, contrast, add, expand, summarize…

your readers’ actions - consider now, as you recall, look at the next example

the logic and form of what you have written - first, second; to begin, therefore, however, consequently…

It often appears in introductions, where the writer claims intentions (I will demonstrate…)

Scholarly writers generally use passive voice to describe their research and actions (The subjects were observed)

The problem with a passive sentence such as this one is that it can create a dangling modifier, which happens when an introductory phrase has an implied subject that differs from the explicit subject in the following or preceding clause.

It has become standard usage for writers of scientific prose.

Example: to determine if monokines elicited a response, preparations… were added.

Use an active verb if it is a

metadiscourse verb

EXAMPLE:

- The terms of the analysis must be defined.

- We must define the terms of the analysis.

You are a scholar.

Use metadiscourse in a sentence to present a topic of a (real or fictional) research linked to the subject of your blog.

*Present your thinking, request something from your reader and introduce an argument.

Exercise

Metadiscourse & Scholarly Writing

A Word about the Compound Noun Phrase

It can distort the match that readers expect between the form of an idea and the grammar of its expression.

Strings of noun feel lumpy, so avoid them, especially ones you invent. Revise them by reversing the order of words and connecting them with prepositions.

EXAMPLE:

Early childhood thought disorder misdiagnosis often results from unfamiliarity with recent research literature describing such conditions

How would you change this sentence?

When possible, rewrite long

compound noun phrases

EXAMPLE:

We discussed the board1 candidate2 review3 meeting4

schedule5.

We discussed the schedule5 of meetings4 to review3

candidates2 for the board1.

Keep clarity in mind

Remember, a style should be as complex as necessary, but no more.