Manoj. D. Shah

Choose Love

0ver Fear

There are two motivating forces: Fear & Love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in Love, we open to all life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we can not love ourselves we can not fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for better world rest in the Fearless and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life – John Lennon

The Two Motivating Forces

Is your life ruled by love or by fear? Love and fear are opposite emotional attitudes that shape our

life in very different waysLet us look at the words which are associated with

each motivational force.

Love and Fear

Love Fear

Life Death

Spirit Ego

Power Force

Truth Falsehood

Relaxation Tension

Health Disease

Trust Mistrust

Right brain dominant Left brain dominant

High Self-Esteem Low self esteem

Reliable Unreliable

Joy Sadness

Calm Anxiety

Generosity stringiness

Altruism Selfishness

Nonviolence Violence

“The fear-determined have no sun in themselves and go about putting out the sun in other people. The love-determined have life in them, abundant life. They are the people who are really alive, of whom it can be said that they possess eternal life as a well within them perpetually.”

Fear and Love

Life is a lot more beautiful and vivid if it is determined by love and not by fear. I’m sure you can imagine that someone determined completely by love would be a kind of saint. In contrast, most of us ordinary human beings are determined by both forces, love and fear. However, in my experience, even a tiny shift towards love—and away from fear—can bring a lot more happiness. - John McMurray

Love and Fear

Love Fear

Relaxed Tense

Attracting Freeing Accepting

Separating Controlling Judgmental

Healing Integrating Cooperative

Hurtful Destructive Competitive

Spiritual Physical

Love v/s Fear

Greatest problem - Fear

It robs us of happiness It causes us to settle for less than we are

capable of It is the root cause of negative emotions

Fear

Greatest Strength - Love

It enhances our happiness It helps us to get what we capable of and

not less It is the root cause of all Positive

emotions

Love

7 Steps Toward Love

Gratitude makes us feel happier. If you remember to be grateful for the blessings of your life, you start to feel more connected to yourself and others. When you let go of niggles and embrace gratitude instead, love springs up.

1. Cultivate gratitude

Gratitude makes us feel happier. If you remember to be grateful for the blessings of your life, you start to feel more connected to yourself and others. When you let go of niggles and embrace gratitude instead, love springs up.

2. Reality-test your fear

Fear is often born out of inaction. For example, if you get a sense that your health is impaired, but you don’t check it out with a doctor, you may start to imagine that you are heading for a major health crisis. (I could fill a whole notebook with illnesses I once thought I had – but never actually got!) Once you’ve been to a doctor and reviewed the problems, the steps towards renewed health may seem much more manageable.

3. Take action

Good friends are important because they teach us to love. It’s often much easier to love a good friend than it is to love and forgive our partner. Friends are lasting companions in life. It’s good to talk with them when we feel afraid. They can give us a fresh perspective on what is troubling us.

4. Cultivate friendships

In the quote above, John McMurray points out that fear-determined people have no sun in themselves and “go about putting out the sun in other people.” Fear makes us narrow-minded and we tend to put down others. Here is how I deal with that: when I notice I’m getting negative, I put a small pebble into one of my pockets. Each time I catch myself using a put-down, I quietly shift the pebble into the other pocket and say to myself kindly, “Well, maybe I can say that differently next time.”

5. Be generous

is ‘love-in-action’. It’s good to make a habit of it. The trick is to notice what people need. Here is an example: yesterday I was talking to a stall-holder at a farmers’ market who fashions wooden spoons. He saw that I was carrying a bag of luscious, fresh corncobs. He said, “Oh, they look nice!” Then he sighed, “Oh well, by the time I’ve finished selling at my stand they’ll have all gone.” I offered to get some for him. It was a small action but it made us both feel good. Try and spot one occasion each day when you can be of help.

6. Practice kindness

Fear tends to make us focus inwards. A way out of is to do the opposite and open your awareness to include everything around you. For example, if you notice anxious thoughts, open you mind and listen to sounds around you. Maybe you can hear birdsong, or traffic noise, or children playing. This has an instant calming effect and fear wanes.

7. Open your awareness

If you follow these 7 tips, you’ll move towards more love and less fear in your life. Soon you will notice an upsurge of happiness and contentment, instead of fear and anxiety.

What is your experience of living with love or with fear? Maybe you could share your special way of inviting love into your life and saying ‘good-bye’ to fear?

Way forward

Perfect Love casts out Fear

Reference : 7 Steps Toward Love (and Away from Fear) - Mary Jaksch